itteh bitteh kitteh committeh telemarketing servize
do u needz 2 heer it in english or lolspeak?
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Hello, bannannannafone?
Hao duz u wurk dis fing, aneeway?
Press nine elebenty adn ask foar cheezburger serbis, silly!
no, sillee, yoo dial, nawt press
clik clikkitee clikkitee clikkitee
clikclik clikkitee clikkitee clikkitee
peepull knot nose, eeder: unless dey Beez Berry, Berry old (knot lyke KK, ob coarse!)
Ai resembles dat remarks…
.
Bananananana creem PI for youse! An’ Peena Koaladas for a troppicle taist treet…. An mabee Hulula dansinG? Yay fer yer Nawt Sekkond!
Yum! Fanks RBF *nom-nom-sluurrp!*
*dans-dans-nawtsekkund-hula-dans-dans*
RINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRING, BANANAPHON!!!
*Ai wish theez kittoonz wud bii mai telemarkut kawlurz insted uv teh obnokshus awful hoomanz whut kawlz mii awl teh live lawng day! JEEZ!
Oooo, ai lubbs dis won!
Ai mussa bean leafn sum sheturd lif! Ai nevez heerd dis bananana fonz! Iz Wunnerful Funz!
NOOOOES!! Nawt teh banananana fone!!! *runz away cubbering eers*
whuts teh madder ETP? yoo gots a ear wurm ringing in yore ears?
(ore how ’bouts dis won)
kittehz no can die-awl 9-1-1 cuz dare handz R bananars:
Iz dis iz pizza dilliberry?
We can haz wun wif estra maus?
kthxbai
Yu meens yu wantz extree mauses ta hep delibery da pitsa, ob course. Da rodetns is da frends, not fud.
Den hao baot extra anchoveez?
O, hai! Yez, ub coarse we dinn wants 2 eeet da mausies. We, ummm . . . we fought wud bee berry nies if dey wud cum shares da pizzas wif us.
Yez, we defnitlee wants 2 hab mausies ober for dinner.
::: berry larj grin :::
I smellz a sinister.
No, but dere WUZ a sinister. It wuz inna cage wif a lilleh weel an ebberfing.
Ah mite has eated it. :::blush:::
Hello? This is itteh bitteh kitteh committeh. You can has new windows and doors? 2 back windows come fr- he hung up.
Heer, try dis skript:
.
“Hello? Dis iz itteh bitteh kitteh committeh. If yu down’t snorgul us, we’ll smash yor winnows in.*
ohaithar
icanhaspizza wit estra fihs ?
ktnxbaithar
Wud u liek to try our noo cheezburger pizza?
yesh, plz!
*nom, nom, nom*
Plz sir, ai can has moar?
Moar???
U wants moar???
Dis iz a nimportint know-dis abowt teh warrantie on yer veeyickle….
It be ekspyrd. Wud u lyk tu be perchifying teh ekstended plan?
Fur juss elebentee munneez, u kud be hasing … hello??
U can haz safins awn splort insyuruns, srsly!
An uz gonna needz it…SPLORT
Oh my, diva’z daon! Heer cums teh CCC!
*skoopy-skoopy teh braynz intu teh brayn-bukkit*
*rinsy-rinsy wiff teh sparkling minrul waddurz*
*spritz-spritz wiff teh lemmin-sentid brayn refresher*
*pak-pak intu teh braynbawx*
*fit-fit teh bonz bakk intu playse*
*tayp-tayp teh cranyumz wiff ducky-tayp*
*snap awn noo CHRG(wdoi) adn sekyoor wiff moar ducky-tayp*
*wrap diva in cheezmap blankee adn eskort tu sport recubbery rum*
Heer, juss relaxify awn dis komfee chayr, adn wach teh pretty hart-kittehs in teh Mu Medow. Heerz sum nys hawt chokklit adn sum chokklit possumz tu help u get komfy. Dont luuk at aneefing kyoot fur a whyl, adn be shoor tu ware deze protektifying gogglols.
Oooh…nobuddy wud dare to hang up on teh kittehs!
WILL YOU KITTENS STOP CALLING ME!!!
I’ve told you I don’t know how many times that I’m not interested in your services! I find your product inadequate and not suited to my needs. Good day sirs!
But… but… Sir-or-Madam, we is just itteh bitteh kittehs. We is teh cute and floofy and vulnarubble. U yells at us, it makes us cry. We is just trying to make a libbing here. Y u no wants us to live? Why?
Ob corse we wants u to maek a gud libbing so u can habs teh gushi fuds.
We juss want u to find anotter jawb. Mebee u can wurks in teh shelter halping otter ittehbittehkittehs dat doan hab a hoam? Den nobuddeh wud be yellings at u or maeking u cry.
We lubs awl teh ittehbittehkittehs.
But… but… Sir-or-Madam, those shelter jobs is teh volunteer jobs. We checkeded and they sayed “no, itteh bitteh kittehs, we no can pays u to work here. kthxbai.” So we was crying on teh sidewalks and a nice man wif a nice hedset came over to us and giveded us teh job making teh phone calls for elebenty moneys a decade and all teh prank calls we can make.
OK ittehbittehkittehz, u keeps practicing ur prank calls. I call Mr. ProducerCat and get u signed fur Kitteh Krank Yankers show. U b TV stars and hab a muchly monies.
oh, teh Hugh Manatee!
*wipes away a teer* Awwwwww!! Yesh yesh yesh I will bi yoor productz!!
Thank u, Sir-or-Madam! Lissen, if u buys elebenty moar that will be our quota for teh day and we can go play.
So, whut is ur credit card nummer, plz?
Errrr, ahh OH! My cake is burning! yeah, burning! Pls tew hold on wun secund…. *click*
*hmms adn brakes intu telemarketer boss’ e-mail adn finds hiz credit card details*
.
Iz “elebenty eleben, elebenty eleben, six six six six, brimstone”, adn teh expiry date iz teh elebentyith ob wheneber. An’ I want tu order eleben day’s quota’s wurf, tu be delibered to….
.
*luks up competitor’s warehouse*
.
“Elebenty nawt second abenew.”
Hello, I want to order two kittens?
~Splort~
shud has orderd teh chikkin-hed rubbah glub, furst!
Ov kourse
O, noes, D.R. haz splortified an nobboddy haz komed to the res Q!
O wottle ai dew?? Gess ai bedder ttry to werk the CCC. Ok, lessee…
*skoops up all the braney bitz an rinsess em in sarklin spider
*patz em jently dry wif a Hunnert Doller Towl. OK!
*putz em in the braynium cabity
* fitses awl the boanz bak togedder (hay dis is fun – like jikshaw pzzl!)
*An nekst we getz the dukkie taep (iz kinda fuzzy wif kitteh hayrz stuk to wit, hoep it stikks) an rappity rappity arrown an arrown an
*snaps (ooops, sowwy!) a CHRG on tawp.
*gitz the floofy Cheezland map blankie an tuks it arrown an
*halps D.R. to rest nekst to diva ina SRR (Splort Recubbery Ruum)
*offrs chonklit wombats (awl owt of possumums du tu a preevyus splort) an hot buttred towst an labender tee (bery soovving) or mayB somfin a liddle stronger?
Whew! awl this eksitement is ex Austin.
*Flyz in wif deh majickle de-splortifyer*
*It b battree operated.*
*Turnz it on adn deh braynez iz sukked up, kleened *adn returnded 2 deh kraniul kabitee.*
*A CHRG (wdoi) iz installed 2 protekting frum fucheer splortz*
*D.R. is rappt in floofee blankee, a kumferting bevridge iz put in wun hand* *Adn a nummy chokklit possum in tuther hand.* ♥ Schmooz 2 yooz! ♥ *flyz owt agin*
Thanks u, Kwithie and Bom_Momme. I are reskewed!
Ancient telemarketing service wif dial phones wants to kno iffs u wud liek to change ur long distance serbis.
ai nose: ai can haz a old fone wiff dialz juss 4 phun, an ai usetah keep it upstairs in teh loft. Won thymn my son’s fren (middlol skool) wuz going 2 caul his mom, an hii had nebber scene sich a fone. Wii had 2 show hymn how too use it!
ai lubs teh owld dial fones!! want!
I habs teh old tiem fone sound as mah cell ring tone.
I lubs teh irony.
the yunger peeps prolly nawt noe wut dat sownd iz…
ai haz teh old fone. iz ter-koyz color adn duzz werk!
ai putted in teh kichin adn dawter sez “mommy, how dis werk, ai see no buttunz?!”
IBKC sez “Wuts da mumber fer 9-1-1?”
I can’ts find teh dashes to dial 9-1-1
I dunno, hao do yoo spell it?
Mebee u can callz ate hunnert-Goog-411 and ask dem to connectify u?
yah, dis reeminds mii ob teh teh thyme ai borked my arm wenn ai fawled on teh kitchn tilez. (well, naught sekond ai fell an borked my anklol earlier taht day, so dat way ai cood fall off my crutches in teh middlol ob teh nite wahkin 2 teh kitchen).
My hubby-bubby herd me skreem, an came in an sawed mii awl tangloled up, an sed “WUT AM I SUPPOST 2 DOO?”. Ai sed, “GET MII TOO TEH HORSE-SPITAL!”. “well how is I gunna pick yoo up, yoo beez awl tangloled up (my elbow awlso wuz disklolcated!). Ai sed, “CAUL AN AMBULANTS!” Sew hii gits out teh phone book an sezs, whutz teh nummber? !!!!!!
LOLz!!
{{{{{kitkay and hubby-bubby}}}}}
Seeing a lubbed one hurt can turn ennywon’s mind to mush.
u r too kind]
]
]
crud]
hmy k,eyfbo.rd fbo.rk,ed]
]
lol, kitkay
an bein teh wun hurt can turn yur mouff into pottee! ai fink ai inbented a few noo swares teh nite ai borked mai foot!
OOoooh NOOooes!
Poar Kitkay!
{ { { { { Kitkay } } } } }
Ai hoep taht eb’reefing turnd owt ok.
Romeow had a poynt, tho. Wen b-lubd wun iz akshually hurted, n in paan, it affeks yur finking prosessez, ai finkso.
looks like kitteh is beginning to dial 411 … operator please to connect me
Ohai. Ur awto waruntee iz abowt tu eggs…eks…b no moar. If u want to noes hao u can has sayvinz awn eggs…eks…lawngr waruntee, plz tu prez wun. Tu remoov ur nombr frum ar list, plz tu prez tu.
O hai, Patrick. Hasn’t seen u for a lot of whiles. How u is?
Ai b gud. Jus nawt bin n as muchly du tu sew muchly stufz goinz awn…n dat lawwwwwwwwwwwwwwng dryv warin meh owt!
IBKC sez
hao do I dile *82
Waytless bawllz ubz floof
tryz 2 figgurrz owtz juss wutz
dis grayt beeg feeng iz
Coodz beez ekksersyze
toy. Habz twistee weel dat maykz
berreh kewl sowndz
Awllso habz rowndz andz
rowndz strrrrrrretchee coard datz maydz ubz
sawfft, thikk Pisskettee!
Jack.
*klappy klappy* *a fyoo skaelz fawl teh teh flowr*
Gud jawb!
lubblee, jack! ai had a pet ferrett that liked to chew on old fashun fone coard, an ai didn own mai fone (tihs reelee old days!) sew aftur teh sekkund wun borked, ai kept fone in an old milk crate. mai frens thot wuz funnee that fone in crate, nawt ferrett!
I lubs me sum itty bitty committee……
ummm…ai’z nawt shur wutt tew du heer….shud ai biiz angree abowt teh telemarketturz? oar shudd ai bii splortink frum teh kyootnesses? ai dunno….
O mai, taht taiks meh bak! Wii hadda blak fone lyke tihs wen ai wuz a kidlet an it wuz a parti lyne. hadda maik shure no wun elze awn teh lyne afore dialin!
Ai member tohse! If it did wun ring, waz fur us, an if it was diffrint ring, was fur teh uvver peeps awn teh partee lyne! An teh owld roaree fones… LOL
ai lurned abowt doze inn mai US historee class….dey saowndeded funneh…..adn izzit troo dat yoo cud aktchulolee lissen inn awn a fone cawl dat annuthur haus awn teh laien wuz maekink?
Oyesh DK. Ob corse, most peeplz would not dreeeem of lissenin to somebody elsis callz, unless maybe tehy were bored, oar nozee, or curious abowt teh neybors. Merember taht theeze partee lynes were (in later years anyway) mostlee in rural placez where everybody was used to minding everybody else’s buziness anyway–so privacee was a sort of foreign concept…
*goes bakk wif BF* ai mememember habbing teh rotaryfone and teh partee lions…cept owr naybors wuz ALWAIS on teh fone, and wii wuld haz tew ask dem if wii culd use teh lion, and dey wuld lissen in on owr kawls….
Ohai guis, ai back frum shopping! Gottid groserees an fings tu, coz iz holiday heer tumorro (Victoria Day).
A fowndid teh coolist neetist bag fur smuggling Cory awn teh bus, yu’d fink it was designed fur it! It eben haz seprate section inna base where ai can haz trabel lidder-boks. Iz purrfekt size. Pink n black, weerdlee enuff. Pink nylon owtside, sheer blakk mesh inside — an if teh berry long pokkit in one side be open, teh teh mesh be eksposed alawng it, so can haz bedder breevings. Seanya waz astonished ai fownd sumfing so ideeyal… atta thrift store where yu myte find ennyfing.
An it waz onlee 6 munniee!
wai duz yoo has tew smugglol himz awn teh bus?
It sownds puurfekt but…. erm…iz hee a bery vocal Cory-Bear? wat if teh meen bus peeps heer himz?
DK: ai haz tu smugglol him awn teh bus if ai wanna taek him tu classis wif me (teechurs awl be otay wif it). Teh city busses say, “No aminlols, nuh-uh, no way, unless tehy be serbiss goggies.” Ai cannawt afford tu taek taxi alla tiem. So, ai hides him an taeks him awn bus.
BF: him is a berry berry kwiet Cory-bear unless him hazza hongree oar needing teh lidder boks urjintlee, so if ai feeds him an plays wif him befoar we go, him will problee juss sleep teh hole trip. Him nawt mind being in cars an fings atawl. So aifinkso he’ll be otay. Aihope. *crossis fing-ers*
U cud sai “O, tahts mai noo ringtone, bery reelistik, izznt it?”
adn yoo nawt haz yur own car? oar nawt can carpuul wiff sumwuneles?
bai teh wai, wai du yoo taek himz tu yur classis? jusst kyuriyuss…
Cars cost teh munnies… BF be awn disabilutee, an ai nawt hadda job inna whyle an nao iz awn stoodint loan. So, no car. An honestlee, ai wud nawt trust moast uv mai classmaets wif carsu rememer tu pick us up.
Ai taeks him tu class cause him lyks being wif me, an cause it gives mai BF Seanya a brake frum kittehsitting, an cause iz gud fur him tu get used tu peepuls an awl. Plus, iz fun.
Iz a vet assistint program, so ai haz no diffkultee finding sumwun tu halp me if ai needs it. 
Oh PK, dat iz da wunnerful. I learned frum karting Grayson round wen him wuz little baby kitteh that most peepz turn blind I tu da roolz wen such a kyoot baby bii round.
they bettur not be calin mai house
*ring ring* Hewwo Mr. oar Mrs. LolZebra, fur jus elebenty sents a dai u cud hep needie an deeservin kittehs git cheezburg noms.
aktchulolee, ai wudd probablee pai furr dat….
Were r my cheezburger noms? I can has cheezburger?
8576309, dudes.
awwww so cute