Try as he might, Fred couldn’t seem to get his new
Try as he might, Fred couldn’t seem to get his new double wide cat scratcher to scratch any part of him whatsoever.
picture: Boris M. lol caption: kayola
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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JanetCanHas4Kittehs on Itteh bitteh kitteh commi… turtlol on OH OH OH turtlol on Itteh bitteh kitteh commi… Vambo on The Expresso just kicked … nativeca66 on I wonder how long 5 eagles on I wonder how long nativeca66 on I wonder how long nativeca66 on OH OH OH Jeremy on I wonder how long nativeca66 on I wonder how long nativeca66 on I wonder how long catena on I wonder how long Kitteh_Kat_Celia on OH OH OH nativeca66 on I wonder how long LunaKitteh on I miss yur old 
Cheezburger Network Blog
I wanna refund!
*passes over sheaf 0 papers*
shure. just fill these out. you’ll getcher munnies back in elebentee daze.
MayBee, din maybee nawt, iffin wii chngy deh rules on yu! Bwah-hahaahahahahaha!
O hai, Sweet-mawwy-Oh! ai is cumoing to NE (CT naught sekond), an wood lurv 2 meet yoo! Cweenmj’s map sed yoo live in CT, is rite? my inlaws R in southington. Will B a cupplol wks frum now, donut have tkts yet.
When iz you coming to Ct? Ai libes about 30 min from sweetpea. Maybe a cheezmeet?
Skratchin – you’re doin it rong
Ohey! Mebeee hiz hoomin spreckled deh catznip in dis tang tu attrapz him tu it. Mae kittehs rolz in teh catznip liikz deh goggie inugh died fishz! Hapyhapyrolzrolz! ya, aifinkso =^1^=
butt doan ai luuk ‘doorublol?
Yesh yu du, lil sweety kitteh!
(ohai to Bom, annipuss, 3KM !!)
Yur doin it rong kitteh.
whose bea yous ta tellz mii howz ta ooze mii scritchie ting?? Iz a Kat, yous a hoomin, derfurr, I nose beddar den you — gotz it?
Yu sposed tu scratch it hard az yu kan, an git da kardbord pieces awl obber da karpet so hooman haz tu vacuum elebenty tymes a week.
Wud nawt ordur dis produkt agin.
negative eBay feedback!
Da couch werks bedder an compariobubble ta dis tink — it iz elebenty wide!! Muchee beddar den stoopie dubble wide!
Mebbe rubbin on teh edge wud werk, Fred.
howz you eben no wut I triin ta do??? jest becuz sum stoopy hoomin callz dis a scrichin fingie donut meanz dat wut it iz!! I fink dis is orthapedicalikal bedz dat iz berry guds fur mii sore bak – iz sor frum scritchin up da hole couch. Mi mama shud getz mii a scritchin postee – ifinkso!
Iz nawt fur skrachin, iz fur spreadin cardboard mess awl ober da plyse. Mine kittehz lub tu do this.
Mah kittehs haz a talent fur dis too, aifinkso.
mii Jazzy goggie awlsew duz a gud job shreddin da cardzbord ans paperz… butt hemm uziz hiz mouf, nawt him feetz — hee no haz sharpz pointee endz!!
EM! Ai nawt tawk tu yu in elebentee ages! Hao Matt???
Hey der PK — I jest founded out dat der is a Yahoo Groop full ub cheesee peepz!! I joined dat groop, butt nawt bean abol to visit der yet!!1
Matt is doing Ok – all thing considered. He is in the hospital and willbe there until after he recovers from the bone marrow transplant — probably 3+ months. It sucks.
He is finishing up chemo again – we have a meeting with the transplant doctor next Friday. The search for a match is progressing. My bigest concern now is that thedocs have been letting him have delaudid – which is a narcotic – not for pain, but just for general ickiness. I have ben trying to tell them that he in not in “pain” and to get themto give him someting else. The docs finally get it, but now what ever they give him, he says “But its not as good as the delaudid…” And it does not help that his dad (my ex) contradicts everything I say and sees nothing wrong with filling him up with narcotics … as long as he does not have to listen to him complain.
{{{Elsa_Mama+Matt}}}
Owch. That be just nasty. Stoopy docs an ex, just lukking fur a way tu keep him quiet so tehy nawt have tu deel wif it. Can screw sumwun up bad taht way! Ai wish ai had sumfing halpful tu say… can onlee send yu teh beems frum me an teh menajeree, an teh hugs. {{{{{EM}}}}} {{{{{Matt}}}}} *an a boot in teh behind bits fur ex an docs*
{{{{EM}}}} That iz a tuff situation, compounded by yur Ex, and da Dr’s willie nillie giving delaudid, specially tu such a youngwun. *Ebil eyes tu EM’z ex and Dr.*
I habz a fren who is a pediatric oncocat in Johns Hopkins and herz
wud tell me bout teens who would come and ask fur narcotic stuffz
and exaggerate their pain to get the prescription even when they didn’t need it, is potent habit-forming stuff. You are right to be concerned.
yep – but luckily for my boy I do not back down very easily .. I will keep up the complaints and try to get him on something else. The one that will be the maddest will be Matt – which is what tells me it needs to be done the most!
Yur an excellent mom! I imagine it’z very hard to stand up to such a sick child, but you have to do it for his own good. My best wishes an prayers for you and Matt’s strenghth and well being. {{Elsa_Mama and Matt}}
Ohai, {{{{{elsa mama}}}}} There are some really nice people over there on the frenz page. I had trouble ever getting my comment posted there and don’t really have enough time for anything besides this and profile page visits so have given that up. sometimes I scan the digests to see what’s going on. It seems like many of those lovelies have some serious problems and give each other abundant moral support. Hope it fills a need for you. schmooz…..
I kan hardly wait til wii lay da new mulch! Pookie’s hair “collects” things lyke that, an da kittehz LUV tu roll in da new mulch.
whut does U use fur mulch, I has to start mah gardin dis weekend.
Hubbikat insists awn da bagged cedar kynd, him says danger uf termites tu great in teh bulk kynd, an ifinkso mine neighbor gitted da termites frum da bulk. Is much cheeper, butt(giggle) nawt iffin yu end up wif da mites.
Da Cedar mulch iz awlsew gud ta keep away be fleas!!! Datz wut i uze inna my backyard
Helpz wif da fly’z, butt (giggle) duz nuffin fur teh skeeterz!
Fred b needin struktion manule.
Adn nawt teh kind wif translayshuns ob Tagalog tu Frency tu Chineez tu Balley-Grrl, neeber!
=o1O= =x1x= =O1O= =o1o= =O1o=
*kitteh gives up reading and shreds manual*
Ohai OM!
Howdee tu yu! Ben a gud dae fur yu?
What-Roh! Wii nawt been’z deh pol-lite heer…
CONGRATZULASHUNZ 2 deh SG’n'Annipuss, tyd fur
teh Nawt-Sekond Plaz!! Bringz in doobl adult beveragez fur dem bof. Ai toasty tu 2 yu!!
*clinky-clinky-clink* *clapyclapyclapys from cheezfens ebby-warez* =^1^=
Nawt so mush gud dae, aktully fur mii. Tests at horspital r pleh.
I iz gonna ignore dis stoopee fing and scratch Ur sofa instead
Resdent feline luvs skrachin wud, nawt cardbord.
whuteber cauzes deh magzimum damage
BTW does U lyke mah pointeh endz
flashes paw wid deadly clause
Wood iz deh natrel nawt-sekond pik of kitteh…once dey trys it dey nawt goez bak 2 cheep subsatoots!
KK…yu wanna tawk bout deh pleh testz? Cheezfrends lub 2 halps dat wae…{{{{KK}}}}
CC..plz to bless’n’snugglez KK, und gib herz Dr Tiny-Kat ‘n staff schmarz AND kompashunz! Haymin!!
=^1^=
Aifinkso kitteh needs tu bandun tihs fing an go sit awn hims hyoomin’s keebored insted, tu get scratchings an pettings an fings. Iz hyoomin’s job.
Pleez tu chek da las fred, lunnamommy haddin a cormsern, wii tryed tu halp, butt (snerk) U iz da profeshunal sew maebe U haz bedder perspectib.
Ai ansured… juss tuk me a lil whyle tu typing it awl, an ai chekked cupple fings in mai class noats tu be shur.
Hao Mikey be duing wif hims breeving fing? An teh uvver kittehs?
Ohai guis!
Iz FOAR gnu bideos in teh babycats’ blog – wun uv tehm be uv Loki, since haz been a few peeps asking fur updates awn him since him waz nawt habing a gud tiem when Eva camed here.
Be purrpared fur kyootniss!
An fur astonishmint — ai juss cannawt beeleev Eva be teh same teeny halpliss babycat ai started teh blog foar!
PK, i noticed in da bideo uf Cory playin wif himz maus, dat him awlwais stopped at da edge, so parently him “see’s” thingz. Maybii himz eye muscles just need strenghtinen. Duz yu notice him going blank after himz biin playen alot?
Iz nawt alwayz aftur playing a lawt. An ai du nawt fink week mussuls wud create teh total vakant stare him did when teechur tested hims responsis. But it cud be a faktor, defnitlee. Him sertinlee haz at leest SUM vision!
Maybees hims jus kneeds glassis. Idle bittee kittee glassis. wood be two kute furr wurds.
WOW FRED!!! A Dubble Wyed! Youz moovin’ on up…..
Every time my cat lays on the cardboard scratcher I always think of the people lying on a bed of nails.
‘Fredd’ iz sillee naym
4 Syummeez Kitteh. Shoodz
habz awmminuss naym
Mebbee ‘Gawdzilla’
oarz ‘Toe~Koe~Ree’ willz stryke feer
inz hartz ubz Hewminz?
Syummeez Kitteh
awllwayz getz wut himz wantz. Oarz
maykz a beegurr noyzz
Jack.
I see the problem. It’s a double wide cat scratcher, but Fred here is not a double-wide kitteh. So of course it won’t work. He needs a standard width cat scratcher instead.
…tahtz beekawz yu kneadz tubee dubbuhl wyde fur it tu wurkz.
Yeesh. Had same problum wif mai doublewide boifren. Retrnd for munnys bak!
Iz borkded!!!
As the box clearly states, it’s a double wide cat scratcher.
That is, it will only scratch double wide cats.