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Arrrrrrr Matey!
Avast ye scurvy goggies!
ohai maus! *beeg* conga rats fur teh tawp uv brayde! yur cuzzinz wil dansing fur yur emjoymint, whyl wii awl tappyng intu teh keg o rum.
.
keg iz gif frum teh pyrat parot. ahoi!
rawk! pay is loussy!
Juss peanutz!
We needs sum seed monee arownd heer!
Snerk!
Can’t tawk tho
kitteh wanna crakur?
GMTA–but ai lyke yer spellyng
gmta gmta, meezer mom!!! weeerd, huh!
N wunnerfull
yesh. ai yagreeze.
cheezburger plz
kthnxbai
no! pirat kitteh says Brawk – Bring uz a beer
cats are not that stupid
An ai’s lyke a crakker
gmta, meezer mom!
Oops. Ai’d lyke, nutt ai’s lyke. Ai’s nutt lyke a crakker atall.
aow. naow wurreez. mayd cents dat weigh two.
Parrot is taking a exam at teh polytecnic institoot.
Izzint dat teh poly-wanna-crakkur-technic institoot ??
dis parot haz teh nawt-sekkund naymz, ryte? iz teh h.ross aifinkso.
Kitteh wantz a krakker-wif gushifud awn it!
May I please remind all US Cheesefriends that this Saturday, May 9 is the annual letter carriers food drive.
*please to click on my blue name for a link with more info*
Non perishable food items may be left for your carrier or brought to your local post office. Please consider donating some food items, even a can or two can make a difference for a hungry person. Thank you very much
(this is a repeat, sorry but I think its important)
Also, please check the dates on items you donate. Our church haz volunteer days at a local food bank, and it blows my mind how much out-of-date stuff they get!
oh yesh, fank u eeck, dint fink uv taht!
if yoo wuld not eeting it yorself, plz not to gibbing it to teh pore peeps. kthxyuk.
Also bai ur foreber stamps dis week, week, week in teh US. Teh price uf teh stamps will go up awn Mundane!
Hmm. Menny grate mines hear
maybe lots uv krakker-luvers
Kitteh eated Parrothead! Oh Noooooooooooooo!
oh noes!
shud we has a seramony?
I guesso. Who’s gonna rite teh obit… ebut… um… speech thingy?
um.. dunno!
wud this be a ICHC low budgie produckshun?
gud wun. skwirrlgirl ftw!
Not much lower than dead…
only 6 feets, ifinkso.
I’ll start:
.
*ahem*
.
We has come heer today… to pay respects to our frend parrothed.
*big SIGH*
Wate…. If we has to pay, who brought the munnies??
*Rassinfrassindidntthinkofthat*
Hey eberybuddy! Can we has some respect pls? Kthx!
Here’s LCB’s bag iv $$on it. Let’s use it
Can ai pays you Tuesday for a funeral todai ??
yes yes yes!!
we can do it on teh installment plan!
and bring the Wimpy burgerz
Ai gitz no respeck.
Sez Rodney Parrothead…
Here’s LCB’s bag wiv $$$ onnit. Lets use dis to pay for respexHere’s LCB’s bag iv $$on it. Let’s use it
Only shiney fings in here. Anibudi missing a watch?
And heer ar two kitteh collars, a bottlecap still attached to a bottle, three diamund rings an fourty two dubloons. Proactically pirate tresure!
I has a kitteh finks shi’ss a parrot. Wuz cyoote wen shi wuz liddl. Nao, nawt so much.
waht hur du?
Shi lieks to sit on mai sholdr wile Ai wak arun da partmint. Onlee shi’s berry big n hebby naow.
oh heck!
SPLORT!!!
(ai canna resist teh tabbees!)
*sweep up Gammacat’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
FangQ anni! after dodjing crazee drivers in teh parking lot, ai was not readii for so much kyoot!
*snuggles under blankie*
*sip sip nom nom*
An Trick lerned it frum Loki.
An ai unshur if Eva figgur it owt aloan oar lerned it frum teh boys.
An Cory lerning it frum Eva.
.
.
.
Ohdeer. Obseshun, ai DUZ haz it!!!
Yus, butt(!) eetz nawt reely a dizordur, iz eet? Ai laiks bein teh kitteh-obsessud!
ohai prysma! hao yu iz tudae? how shawnya beeing? how beeing teh kittehz?
.
ai iz pikshurifying teh eva bebbeh awn ten wun showldur an teh cory bebbeh awn teh udder showldur. tew *kyoot*!
Ai gud
… seanya, nawt so much coz iz rainy an it making pain wurser, but will be otay.
Teh bebbeh an adult kittehs be awl awsum.
Yay, an ai be eben better nao, coz class dun an ai can go hoam! Ai be bakk in a bit!!
yay, prysma! clas dun! ai haz a sawree fur seanya nawt feeleen wel. ai’z semding seanya teh heeling beemz. feal bettur, seanya, pleez!
{{{ prysma }}} {{{ seanya }}} {{{ kittehs }}}
Also, it be lublee lil silber tabbeh wif such a seryus ekspreshun!!!! Ai haz no brayn sells left tu splort wif, oar ai prollee wud!
Yas, eet luks laik teh Kitteh wunts tu say: “Yerrrs, may ai hep yu?”
An kitteh has sush a frendlee fayc! Verreh myld-mannered: Ohai! wit a liddl smiol. Hoo kan rezizt?
Kitteh, on mah shoulders – makes mez happy
Kitteh, in mah eyez – can make mez cry
Kitteh, on teh water
- looks sew lovely
Kitteh, almost always – makes mez high
Eggsalad catslave! Ai can awlmoast heer John Denver singin dat!
Kitteh awn teh watter????
Lovely purrhaps nawt curekt adjek… adjic… wurd.
Hims wus deelishus adn nootishus!
I can has an otter plzthx?
Whut? whut deed AI du?
* lukks arownd nerbussly *
parots is frends not fud!!
* eyes deelishus adn nootrishus skwirrl *
*Gets out cricket bat and hits GP on the head*
*BONK*
Stop that!
OW! So, lemme get tihs strayt… YU is aloud tu torture skwirrls… but AI is nawt?
PFFT!
EEP!
we wuz talkin bout parots!
did someone forget to feed teh piggeh today??
MICK! did u not give GP his dinners?
I can’t work under these conditions!
* strut pout strut pout strut pout *
Sumwun menchuned teh pi ratz. Nachurlly wii finked uf teh pi rat wench costuumz.
Whoo wares teh bestest pi rat wench costuums?
Ai wuz reedin abowt “skwirrl recipes” b4 ai left for baycashun last week,week,week….
Guess teh economee iz so bad we haz to resort to eetin skwirls and such…
Berhapz Doktor van Movingvan can eggzamine ze hed of ziz piggeh mit ze chiant appetitez. I zuzpeckt zat he vaz subcheckted to a trauma as a yung piggeh zat has given him now an irrational need to nom everything in zite– HAY! Piggeh, plz to not nom Doktor van Movingvan!
* has a HYOOGE confoosed *
Hu is tihs misteereeus straynger adn whut she has dun wib LCB?
Hu is tihs Doktor Van Movingvan ob witch yu sprechen?
Wai is no kin nom him?
U muzt eggzcuze me, Herr Piggeh. Fraulein LCB vas gut enuff to be letting me uze her identity until mein vaz deliffered.
Now, ven I zayz to u to not nom me, how duz zat make u feel, hmm?
eet maeks meh feel hongry, herr doktor, berry hongry.
I zee. *makez ze notez on ze notepadz*
Und chuzt ven did ziz nomphenomena begin? Zometime in ur childhoot, I zuzpeckt.
* nod nod * ai has awlwais bin teh hongry, herr doktor… whut DOES tihs meen?
I’ll azk ze qvestions heer. Now, tell me zome thingz about ur pggeh mommeh. Zhe vaz a gut cook, no?
Oh yesh yesh yesh!
* reminisces *
Mommeh Piggeh wud alwais maek sordid noms at dinner thyme… LPB, SMcP adn ai wud nebber go hongry wen wii wus teh littlol bebbeh lolpigs…
But u zed zat ur izzuez mit ze conztant hongry beginned in ur childhoot. Zo ven eggzacktle-y did u first eggzperienze ze pangz of ze hongry? Vaz it at zkool?
hmm… akshully at zkool dey yoosed tu sai “No, piggeh. yu kin ownlee has won dinner. LPB adn SMcP wheel has tu get dere own, otay?” so, ai wud awlwais be teh hongry at zkool, yesh.
*makez moar notez in ze notepadbooken*
Now, piggeh, it zayz here in ur chart zat u is a only piggeh. Zere is no reckort of any ziblingz, yet u refer to ze LPB und ze Zcrooche McPig. It zeemz zat u iz zufferink from ze multiplol perzonalitiez.
Eggzellent. U know vat ziz meanz? It meanz zat my fee chuzt tripled!
Mynd if I butt in here? Nawt that this is relevant to teh G. Piggeh hoo is in therapea here – but when I wuz liddl, I used to sit at skool and dream of eating cream of wheat.
Doktor Von MovingVan – whut duz it awl mean? Kthxplzdontsendmeabill!
Whut yu meen ai has teh multiplol purrsonalitees??? Yu is teh mad aifinkso!
ah, mais oui mon petit frere!
Ach! Tihs doctor is teh mad! Yur rite GP!
O… K… how many of that Guinea Pig are YOU seeing?
And… you ARE hearing LCB speaking with a German accent, right? RIGHT?
* looks at bottle of meds *
Hay! Whut’s going awn heer???
Ach, no, I donot mind, Herr Gremlin. Ve vill put ur qvestion on Herr Piggeh’z bill. Ze dreamz of creemz of veetz zuggestz a childhoot filled mit traumaz involving breffizt fuds. Plz to make apppointmentz mit my zecretary for daily zezzionz und plz to bring zamples of breffizt fudz mit u neggzt time.
*tozzez notepadbooken in ze air mit delight*
Look at all ze perzonalitiez! Ziz meanz a long and if nezzezary painful therapy.
All of u come beck tomorrow und ve vill try ze hypnoziz. Bring zomezink zhiny.
* narrows eyes *
hmm… yu is nawt a REEL doktor, is yu? in fact, yu is nawt a REEL Jerman, IS YU???
Ach! Zuch a miztruzting piggeh! LCB zed I mite haz ziz trubble mit u.
I iz a reel doktor. Zee all zee framed zertificatez und diplolmaz on ze wall?
Und Cherman? Of coarze I iz a Cherman! Heer, try a pieze of ziz Cherman Choclate Caek I maded. Iz my mutter’z rezipe.
cayke?
*makes hopeful face*
yew can charge GP for it!
* eyes ‘caek’ wib a suspishun *
Umm… no fankies… suddenlee ai is nawt teh hongry…
hm, I guess he wud not want any pi eeither….
Ach du liffersnaps! Ze poztinks zey takes too long. Ze zerver iz opviozly zuffering from ze hoztility izzuez.
Wud yu liek a cowch tu lie awn?
Vy, ya. Zat iz ze vry thotfull of u. Vait! No! I alreddy haz a couch but to lie on it cozts a eggshorbitant fee. I haz to zave my moneyz for mein own identity.
hippo birdies two ewes to Dr. von Movingvan and
alles Gute zum Geburtstag Herr Doktor Sigmund Freud
Sorree…no cowch heer.
How abowt this footon ???
* hedbats eeck * Hay! plz tu NAWT put yur feets awn teh cowch!
’tis a lownging cowch! yer supposed tew put yer feet on it!
an so are otters!!
fink ob teh bebbeh otters…
hmm – are otters rodints?? Oar doo we need an nu cattergory in de “nawt tu be nommed”-list?!?
umm, teh nawt-tu-be-nommed list dat goez lyke dis:
Albatrosses
Buffleheads (iz duk)
Chinchillas (tew spensiv)
D…
Donkeys (not that they’d let u…)
Edangered animlols
Fishies
G…
Grackles
Heffalumps
Inchwurms
Jayburds
Koalas
L…..
Lemurs….
Monkeys…
Neutered goggies….
O…
Orang-utans
Pingwings
Quaggas (dem aer eggstinkt enniway)
Rodints
S….
Saskwatches
Turtlols
Urchins of the sea
Vivaceous rodints
Water voles
Xenops
Yaks
Zorillas
Yay!
llamas
malinois goggies
nennepus
o…
donut know if I am flatturd or skared!!!
But But teh bufflol heds iz beri taystee. whai else dem be nicky naymed teh flying buddur ball?
um, dem’z tew pritteh tew bee nommifyed. teyh’rez *biggur* buddur bawl burdz inna friezor cayse inna soopymarkit.
.
*note to all those out of relevant geographical area: teh “butterball” iz a murrikin bran ov teh froazun terkeez.*
Umm… Err… whut ai ment wus… umm… err…
ooo dots…
Odder iz da mammamul, sew wii needz da mammamul iz nawt fud list.
Otters aer Mustelidae nawt rodints.
weezul relative. Nawt beri tastee anyway. ifink.
i sub fer rats and puppees too, spesiul prize
Peeses of ate! Peesees of ate! I want sum peeses of gud things to ate!
Um…now dat I thinkgs of it, ennybudy here wanna run to Long John Silvur’s?
Shhhh! Weez buryin Parrothead! … Ohai Parrothead… EeeeeeeeeeeeeeeK a ghostie!!!!!
Buryin me! **faints ded awai**
oh it wuz going to be lovely!
btw, whats ur favrit flower??
Um, orchids…..why? Yu nose Ai nawt ded, rite? RITE?
wuz u just pynin fer teh fjoords?
I was wondering when sumwun was going to sai dat! Monty P ref FTW BF473! @@@@@@@@@@
no no, ur feeling much bedder, I can tell!
this is just for..future references, that’s rite!
Yeah, yeah, not dead. Um… could you lie down in this box? I need to see if it’s right size for… um… shipping something. Yeah… that’s it… shipping…
Pleez make sure you haz teh correct box for shipping…..
Haz-mat regulations, u know!
I think a spherical canvas box would be perfect…
ohai Eeck!!
Say, u don’t make flushabul boxes, do u??
Duz it matter how many flushes it would take ??
ER, well, one wud be better, but I guess as long as it goes down in teh end… no!
Teh kitteh eated you!
No, no, the kitteh was subbing furr me while ai was inna nawty barn, um, dat iz, while ai had a berry portunt meeting!
Butt sumwun cud pleez splain wai ai hab dese piggeh shaped bite marks!
Plz tu refur yur eenkwieries tu a berry hongree piggeh an his siblings/pursonalities!
Eeeeee~!!! Shoulder Mounted Rocket Kitteh~!!!
Mah Kittay Does Dat 24/7. He Sleaps Dar.
lol
Though I think the kitty’s collar is to thight.
muh kitteh duz that tew