OO! A PEANUT!!!
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Cheezburger Network Blog
MUST … HAV … PEANUT!
But… but… I haben’t added teh sour creeme yet! Oh, yore nawt a kitteh.
Corn gor rats on yore nawt sekkond, btw. Adn saym tu calicocoa adn annipus adn rhsb adn kitkay! Fibe Way thy! Time foar teh Tye booteek! Adn on speshul today, old airline peanuts!
fankeez, jd. teh airlyne peenutz bee teh cullektibulz naow.
soon teh airlyinez bee teh cullektibulz, aifinkmaybe
fangs, a lot, jd! N E b uddy hear nose how 2 doo teh baby elolphant danse?
(see belolow)
ai haza stoopy- canna seez teh lospeak traslaytor? HAZ AI GORN BLINDED?!?!*runs in ever diminishing circles until bonking her head on her hind leg*
mini-nom!
ai has a nut
Sum tiems yew feel liek uh nut…sum tiems yew don’t
Ohai, NC.
Still waytin to get my tyres kikked.
**Resists urge to make ref to car salesmen dat awr ex-golf pros wut barely missed awlmost workin at Wendy’s**
**falls off teh bed** (ware hur wuz yoozin lappytop)
Liddlol halp heer, plz?
**whacks Red wif teh litening rod**
**instantly Red is bak awn bed wif lappytawp**
**butt (!) nao she is bloo**
*and ebery poast she maiks awn ICHC iz uh linkee**
**shakes hed an mayks sownz lyk cartoon**
**hares is standin awn end**
Wut….wut happined to me?
**luuks at self**
…an why duz I luuk lyk smurf?
At leest U luuk liek smurfette adn nawt grampa smurfs
Fank CC foar smawl faburs, eh?
Hay! Dat mite be gud naym foar my car. Smurfette. Hur iz bloo.
**wants to maek Lanse Army-strong joak but duzznt**
“A pee-nut sat onna rayleroad track,
His hart wuz awl a flutter….”
Dat won’t keap me goin fur lawng
wud doo yoo fink: ai werks 4 peenaughts?
.
sassafrassan ekon-no-me!
Diz be teh “wallit dyit”.
U onlee eets wut u kin affoard.
**luuks in wallit, seez onlee loose chanj**
At dis rate, I be skinee in no tyem!
streeeeeetch foar it!
Yoga ‘phant duz “down-dawg”
In pikshur tayken aftur dis wun, yunger brudder lolfant iz pushin him awf teh ledj.
o hai, red, man, duz dat bring bak memries! my junger sonny, A. did ‘xacktly that 2 his owlder bruder J. (__) yrs ago at Skout Kamp. Pushed hymn off teh dock. Ai gits a caul frum teh skout master frum horspital, J. is gitting hiz hed stapled up a bit. Awl ai fought, wuz “wut did yoo doo (or say) to hymn?”
boi knot herted tooo bad, juss so yoo no.
bruvverly luvv, gotta lubb it…
peepz useta ask tehm if dey beez twinz…
more lyke teh 2-hedded monster frum Sezmii street, aifinkso.
found a peenot
fownd a peenut
fownd a peeee-nut las nyte
last nite I fownd a peenut
fownd a peennut last nyte
Wat did yu du wif dat peanut?
crayked it opin
crayked it open
crayked it oooopin last nite
it wuz rottin!!!
it wuz rottin!!
it wuz rottin!!!
juss now!!!
eeted it anyway
eeted it anyway
eeted it anyway
juss now!
Gawt u tummy ache
Gawt u tummy ache
Gawt u tummy ache
juss nao!
wint 2 teh doktor tinycat,
wint 2 teh doktor tinycat,
wint 2 teh dockor tinycat,
juss now!
gibbed me medisin
gibbed me medisin
gibbed me me-e-disin
juss now!
blarg i am ded anyway
blarg i am ded anyway
blarg i am ded anyway
juss no
Den down’t eet pork in Mexico
Den down’t eet pork in Mexico
Den down’t eet pork in Mexico
Juss naw
*snerk*
wint 2 ceeling kat,
wint too sealing kat,
wend to seeling kat,
juss no
Him pointed downward
Him pointed downward
Him pointed downward
Just now
BC nawt want me
BC nawt want me
BC nawt want me
juss nao
camed alibe agin
camed alibe agin
camed alibe agin
just now
juss now i camed alibe agin
camed alibe agin
jus now
they haznawt fed meh awll dai!!!!
*Saggy-Baggy Ellifant gets ebben saggier and baggier*
Saggy-Baggy Ellifant FTW!! That was my faborite littlol goldun buuk!
gmta, k_d!
how ’bout dat Tawny-Skrawny Lyon?
ai liked dat wun tu, but I liked teh saggy-baggy ellifant bestest. It always maded me gigglol and my daddy wud do silly voices and animlol sounds.
how bout taht dansing!!! wii shuld inbite teh SBE to ICHC 2 hour nauhgt-sekond danse silly-brayshun!!!
wuz wunna mai faybrit stoariez wehn ai wuz littlol gurl!
Ai iz witherin befoar ur eyes!!! Ai iz a shadow uv mah foarmur self!
meye stummick finks dat meye froat’s cut!
my papakat useta say this…ii awlwayz thogt it wuz ridiculolmaus…haff NE cheezpeepz hurd ob dis?
ai haznt herd eat befur butt ai unnerstand eat
Bof mi mam an pap usded tu sai dat. Ai alwaez fawt waz dumb, butt (snerk) dey alsew sayd ” U maeks a bedder door den a windoe” witch ai nawt unnerstand til ai inna 20s.
yeah mai parents sai teh dur commint alot
Ai jes towl dat tew mai (nawt sekkund) grand dawter (nawt teh newish wun) foar the furst tiem yisterday. Her gawt it rite away and moobed owtta teh way. Herz berry smart aifinkso. Ai neber knew uh 5 yeerz old tew unnerstand sarcasm, and ai pretty shur shee nawt herd it ‘fore. Yew shuld hab scene teh luk she flashed meh tho.
Ifinkso yu got yur handz full wif dat wun. Shii will bii owt sarcasmin yu in a few years.
Yup yup. Her definitely takes affur her papabob.
Ai haz sucha prowd. 
Mummeh nawt sew amyoozed akshully
Yeh, mummeh will nawt bii eggsited in a few yearz! Nawt tu worri tho, shii will bii full uf awsome and win and fun.
We tells dat to teh kittehs awltehtiem. We sez it to mah liddul gurl too — she noes wut it meenz.
butt denn, wenn hee eets pancakes, an benz nek down to look at playt, an yellz “Hay! my goozel’s stuck togevver”, an hee NOSE 4 SHURE ’bout teh cutted frowt!
S-t-r-e-t-c-h…
gmta, 3km
ICHC haz gone metric?
denn Upfi naugt a inch-werm,
shees a “milly-meeter wurm”?
juss as ii suppost.
Noe, Upfi wud be a 2.45cm wurm.
Upfi iz cadderpillolar. Izznt dad diffrent frum insch-wurm?
“3km” iz shorthand foar “3kittymomma”.
My lazyness, let me show u it.
*finks rhsb tayks silli comments tu seeriusly adn sprinkles catnip on her*
Sowwy, jd. Iz been laaaawwwwnnnnggg day.
Taht’s wy yu needz catnip adn glittery fings.
Wif teh way my day has gone, I mebbe need sumfin strongur den ‘nip.
*pores yu a galss ob home-brew mead. Iz ownli 25%, but it haz a kik tu it.*
“Inchworms are the caterpillars of geometer moths.”
dat kitkay is such a wikki-nut!!!
(is a rebbobering wikki-holic, aifinkso)
make that: reKovvering wikiholik
kwizz
1. if alcoholics are adikted to alcohol; whut are wikkiholiks addicted 2?
2. whut do yoo caul sumbuddy who is addikted 2 ICHC?
Me.
An me!
Iz dere meetins wii shud be going to oar sumfin, Anni?
I iz not addicted, I can quit if I wanna
me tew
Ummm, reply tu dis in a mo. Gotta wikipedia payg tu update.
butt dew yew wanna t_k ???
ai nawt!!!1
not a chance, where else will I has so mush funz and meet
such grate peeplols
Ai doan’t wanna be cyoored! Ai fink it’s a gud addikshun – keaps me owt uv miss cheef (nawt dat Ai haz mutch chans uv gettin in2 miss cheef at mai aij!)
O hai, JD! yoo dooz teh wikki updaytes? Yoo beez an uber-nerd, or sumpfing?
I set up a akkont on wikki, butt ai mayde it sew complexcated, an 4-gotted mii naymes an #’s.
Budd hevven nose whut a amazonaddikt ai am.
*goez bak 2 rite a reebew ’bout “100 yrs in Solitude”, laytest boock I red*
Yep, me ubernerd. I duz a lawt ob teh updates foar teh payges foar teh town I groo up in. (Luk foar mellor, greater manchester.)
1. wikkihol
2. cheezpeeps
But what dat mayk marshmallow peeps addikted tu?
*snert* =)
WIN!!!
@@@@@@
Ooooh an mii tu!!
Ai doan hab uh Interwebs prawblem.
Ai log in. Ai blog.
Ai kome tew 8 hours later.
No prawblem.
How yu bii tudai rhsb?
I feel lyk dat stuff kitteh finks him stepped in a cuppla lolz bak.
Deed U call Dr. TC an tell himz dat U stihl hurtz?
Nope. Nawt had tyem.
I had to Vicodins left frum last tyem so I tuuk wun Fryday nite an will tayk teh uthur wun tonite. (Wuz gonna tayk it last nite, but den it wuz browt to my attenshuns dat sinse I wuz goin bak to werk 2day, I mite want it tonite. FANKYOO! U KNO WHO U IZ!)
PS. I owe u a schmoo.
{{{{rhsb}}}} how U iz?
Ohai, 2_k.
See up a cuppla posts foar ansur.
How u doin? Ovur ur aylemints?
no ailments todai, fank CC.
hope U has releefs frum Ur pains soon.
Take care k..
Fanks.
I iz goin to bed wif Mr Vicodin tonite an mebbe Senor Cuervo teh rest of teh week.
Ohai Red. Ai hadn’t herd dat wun in foreber.
I heerd it awn teh way hoam.
Ackshully, I finkso iz awn teh cd dat’s showin!
I lubs me sum Bob Seger. Onlee gud fing I got frum an old ohai-skool relayshunship. (Den-boifren “innerdoosed” me to Bob.)
I also heered “Hollywood Nites”, witch iz a grate dribin song, an I WANTED to dribe fast, but stoopy #$@@$# twuk in frunt of me desyded him wanted to go slow.
I hollered, “33 iz nayme of rode – NAWT speed limmit!”
Bob iz gud. Bob iz wise.
Bob iz fulla awsum an win.
**whispurrs** Didja see my response to ur nawt-sekkund post awn dis fred?
Yeah, da 5 wae tye, Conga Ratz Nightshayde, calicocoa, Anni, Red an kitkay. Ai fink wii stihl haz da burfdae caek an eyes kreme drinkeez an maebe sum kawffee an sordid sabory noms.
Ai fink der R still guddies frum da burfdae fairy.
O hai!
*helpz self 2 sum eye-bawl kake*
*bringz sum Soy-Milch to share-zeez*
and mennny happy-witches 2 R Dr D. Beaker!!! (ai gotted discratched by RL-crap ii hadded 2 do during teh loverly parteee!)
Oh man, he haz a deturminashun!
yesh, heerz burfday fairy bringing in sum more burfday goodies! tehrz plenty for evreewun, an i wurked too hard on dis to let it end after only 6 howrs!!
yoo kan haz bof kinds if yoo want! for drinkies tehr iz glowy bloo martoonies and igor-ade. no, not made wif Igor, wuz inbented by Igor. shotglasses ob awnty dote are avaylable at teh medik tent.
.
come on in to teh speshuly-bilt party venyoo. klassy, huh?
.
for refreshimints, we haz a atomic caek or, if yoo prefers, a eyeball caek!! donut wurry, duz not tayst liek eyeball, tastes liek fudjy caek!!
.
for fun, yoo kan taking dis fun qwiz: wich mad sine-tist are yoo?!! or yoo can come owt heer to teh cortyard an launch sum rokkits!
.
on to teh goodie bags – tehy are filled wif bownsy ballz taht liet up like partikuls in a supercollider wen tehy bownse! yoyos taht wissle she blinded me wif science wen tehy yoyo, an kandeez, ob corse.
.
an teh Peese de Rezistans (wich akshully wuldnt fit in teh goodie bags, so tehy are in dis conkreet-lined room ober heer): evreewun gets a Li’l Genius Ultra Deluxe Chemistry Set and Genetic Engineering Lab!! luk at all teh test toobs an shiny fings an botlols ob colorful likwids!! an petri dishes ob colorful… um… stuff!! an stuff!! an it comes wif 5-elebenty jillion munniez ob liability inshurance, just in case ob any slite mishaps or anyfing. hab fun evreewun!!!
(if tehrs leftobers, i’ll carry it on in to teh late LOLs too. want evreewun to hab a chase to joyn in teh fun!)
wuld evreewun plz to keeping a eye owt (no, not litreally) for a elebenty-four-foot-long hamster tayl, teh same bloo color az teh bloo martoonies, attached to a hamster ob teh same color an slightly smaller porporshuns? i made it wif teh Li’l Genius Genetik Enjineering Lab for Phillipe’s burfday prezint, an it gotted owt ob its caje, az hamsters are wonted to do. thx!
Dat shudn’t be hard 2 fyned!
well, yood’ fink, but i been luking for it for three LOLs now… i gess himz very gud at hiding.
If I see dat fing, teh whole WHIRLED will know it, cuz I be skreemin lyk a liddlol gurl!
mebbee mr. cuervo will halping yoo find it
Iz giant bloo hammy liek pink lolephant?
Oha LM. I twipped ober sumfing ober by teh fountain awn mai way intew dis lol, butt (!) ai fot it wuz uh piece ob rope sumwun left lyin arownd.
Sew udder dan uh lawng tail, duz dis hammie hab N-E udder unyooshyooawl identifyeen feechures?
ovver tahn beeing bloo liek a bloo siense party martoonie?
iz very kyoot an floofy. kyoot for a thruty-fut hamster, taht iz
Firty fut?!? – Oh mai.
Dats uh whole lotta bloo.
Wut dew yew feed such uh creature?
Mehbee wii culd put owt sum bait tew lure himz owt.
Oh, Wut happuns when Ai mixez dis nitric assid wif teh glycerin?
I dunno, but U kno wut u gets wen u kross a lolfant an a rhynoseris?
ELEFYNO!
does dis tale make mah butt look big?
no, iz yor butt taht makes teh tayl luk small
*dukks*
gennelmanz, do not try dis at home!
I herd funnee storee awn teh raydeo teh uthur day: A man sed himz wyfe boughted sum noo pantz an axked him, “Duz deeze pants maek my butt luuk beeg?” Him sed, “Twenny yeers of icee kreem an sawsidjes iz wut maded ur butt luuk beeg. Teh pantz iz innosent biktims!”
tee hee!
ai liek taht: teh pantz iz innosent biktims!
Earl!?!
Yup. Mr Pitts himself.
Tihs iz wy ai neber eber wear grai trewsers…
**luuks at legs, sees gray knit capriz**
Rut-roh….
whut about white ones?
Donut ware collured unnerwares unnerneef demz.
Or old lady unnerwares!!
* finks abowt maekin teh commint. heds tu Nawty Barn insted *
Wate up! I go wif u an u can tayle me in privit.
why U hurtz lolphant’s feelings?
*pouts*
my finking on taht qwestion iz, if yoo duznt wants to kno, yoo shuldnt aks.
tahts why i nebber aks.
aloof LM kitteh iz…aloof
Yah, I iz of teh finkin, “If u nawt wanna kno teh ansur, donut axk teh kweshtun.”
nd I thot MY arse was big…..I feelz much better nao….
Crud!!!!!!!!!! RLS just snagged mii! BBL
WOW-zers! yikes and away…
how bouts that noo frozen babeh mammoth!!!
http://www.maniacworld.com/Perfectly-Preserved-Baby-Mammoth.html
I alwayz wunnered wut I luuk lyk bended ober.
.
.
Nao I kno….
.
.
Nebber gonna bend ober agin.
Testin….lessee if dis werks:
Undiscovered
Yup, tihs werkings hokay! Yay!
Yay!
Iz gud song, yes?
Wot
I awlsew lykes:
Einstein A Go Go
Art ob Kitteh, errr Noise
adn
Amadeus.
Well, I’m wierd. Or izzit wired? I forget.
Mebbe so U iz jus wired wierd?
I has “Amadeus” awn 45.
OMG Ai habn’t scene dis inna coons age.
Yew awr my new hero.
Poor Adam Ant (look alike).
Yep it wurkz!! Iz gud song!
Anudder gmta, 3km!
Dis be gettin skaree….speshulee foar u!
Wow! Iz wii turnin intu da same person? I seen were yu hadded lergikz tu adhesives da otter dai. I haz da same problem! Scary!
Foar ur sayk, I hope wii NAWT turnin in2 sayme purrson! U wud nawt wanna be me. Hek, sumtymes, I nawt wanna be me.
Aww Red yu iz full uf awsome and win!! Mine lyfe full uf laundry and dealing wif teenage boi!
Fanks foar sayin dat, but I jes nawt feline it latelee, kwim?
Teenadj boi? DO NAWT WANT! U can keeps him.
Now Pookie….himz anudder storee.
Aw grate. I gibbed myself eerwurm…
“Mien Own Werst Ennymee” by Blink 182
Ooopz! Did I nawt mention they were a matched set? Iffin yu git wun yu get both.
Ai can burro teh teenadj boi? Ai haz lawts uf landscape tu du when teh haws is finully dun. Ai cud Uze a boi dat will fit mai eggstra shubblol adn teh wheelee barro.
Ohai ebberybudy! Srry Ai missed teh birfhday party. Ws it gud??
iz still going on!! see above
AWR YEW FRIGGIN KIDDIN MEH?
X-cyooz me eberywun. Iz jes dat ai is watchin’ Real Sports on HBO adn teh tawpic is banning dodge ball frum Amerikan skoolz.
*heddesk*
*heddesk*
*heddesk*
BTW – Wut duz mollycaw (sp?) mean?
OMFG – Nao dey awr tawkin’ ’bout ropeless jump rope sew kids can’t mess up.
Dang. Nexst dey be tawlkin abowt remoovin teh junglol gym cuz kids be gettin hurt awn it.
At my ellolementaree skool, at leest WUN kid purr yeer fawled offa it an borked hiz/hur arm.
Coarse, dat wuz way bak inna dark adjis…
I haz ekwayshun foar u….
PC=BS
Yabutt, iz wun fing to mandate “politeness”, izza nudderfing to woosify (HBO’s term, nawt mine) teh kidlets. There is wun skool dat hazza “no touch” policy. Tag iz played by stepping awn yor opponents shadow, and dey hab…get this…”air fives”. Kids awr nawt allowed to slap hands in celebrayshun. Dey miss each awn porpoise udder liek teh keystone cops miss catchin’ uh burgler.
i finsks taht “mollycoddle” meenz to be babying an oberprotekib too much. duz that sownd rite?
.
i meen, i’m abowt teh most ober protektib mom tehr iz, but eben i finkso that banning dodjball (teh hoomiliyashun iz wurser tahn teh hurts) an jumpropes iz ridikyoolus. tehy not reely cares abowt teh kids, tehy just not wants to get sood.
Oooh yesh! Mine boi iz in da “middle skool” an iz amazin deh thingz they nawt lyke. Iz nawt da teachers iz da “Board of Ed”
Ed neez a whompin wif teh Board, I finkso!
Yep!! Kornsidering himz pay, ifinkso! Thingz have gotten stoopy ennymore.
oh noes! be carful thar donut fall!!
Dis id ah cyewt wonz, iz likez itz
iz not peeenut, she’z tryin 2 ’scape. ele’s no like conkrete and zoos. hurtz der feetzez and der feelerz
****shuffles away sad****
gravity cannot deny…the one
I don’t find this picture funny at all. An elephant (or any other animal) in a zoo is the most dreadful of things.
I agree. This particular picture is so sad.
Thanks for the support Jane <3
you might not have seen it, but i also said it was sad a couple of posts up… just agreeing with you guys. elephants shouldn’t be in zoos.
No one ever gives Barney Gumble and credit
Ai kand rmembar wen ai last lold so hard!
mebbe becuz u have no sens of humor if u thinks this pic is funnee.
Pretty sure this is the Buenos Aires Zoo
Hmmm… dat peanut looks pretay gud