Li’l brudders – can’t live wif ‘em, and mom gets reely mad if yu try to mayl ‘em overseaz.
but u wuz teh wun who wanted a babeh brudder.
picture: Xena*bestfriend*. lol caption: oneforsorrow13
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Ai noe, Ai tryed to looze mai bruvverz
Yah, Ai tryed tu gib mai brudder tu teh nayborz, but he kep kommin hoam.
But nao Ai finded a gurl hu wunts himz! He am gettin marryd! YAY!
ai kan haz 5 owlder bruvvers – sumwun tayk wun, PWEEZ!!!
**Henny Youngman tayks wun and gibs UK hiz wife**
nawt need her – ai kan haz a sistur tew…
Welnaow, uniquekitty, wii shud tok. Du tehy lurve kittehz? An ar tehy kind, smart, an Qte???
ohai jmuhj! akshooallee, mai owldest brudder crost teh brij in 1991 – him had lookemiya. two brudders are bery nyce, and smart, butt dey du NAWT liek kittehs
wun brudder lieks teh kittehs, but him haz wun meen wyfe! and teh otter brudder, well, wii trai nawt tew admit wii iz relayted tew him!
Puddin me, mynd if Ai innerupt to make to foLOLowwin Nouns Mint:
The Sekkund Lunnon Innernashnul Cheezmeet has now been confirmed for Thursday May 28th 2009, at Greenwich Park, London.
Meet at the statue of General Wolf (outside the Observatory) at midday. Honestly, you can’t miss it!
Greenwich has many markets, museums, two theatres, what remains of the Cutty Sark (an umpteenth century wooden tea clipper) and is one of the Royal Parks. There are also a disproportionate number of places to eat!
Parking is not so great, actually, but there are good bus, train and Docklands Light Railway connections so please use public transport, if at all possible.
In the current economic climate – and considering the travel costs incurred – can I suggest that if you wish to give gift bags/party favours, they are homemade and the total cost is no more than £5/$10.
Hope to see you there!
Ao nao retern yu to yur reglar shed yuled LOLs
Eva an’ Cory?
butt maaaahm, ai wuz gonna send him furst class!
Dat’s maor suttul dan tryin 2 droun dem laik Ai did (`cordin 2 wun uv dem, enniwai!)
mai sis claimz ai tride tew push hurr daown teh stayres butt cordian tew hour mahm it wuz teh uvver wai rownd!
Bein teh owldist uv 4 wuz berry risponsibul – watebber went rone, Ai wuz risponsibul….
That’s funny, ‘cuz I was teh middlol and when something went rong, *I* was always blamed. Is teh vry complimacated, teh sibling inneractions.
Do you mean wheneber sumpfing was missing?
Dat’s an outrage!
*nods*
Was it my fault teh liting in our house wasn’t so grate so I had to take stuffs outside to look at them?
Noe, LCB…of corse waz nawt ur fault.
U waz a victim ov bad liting.
Iz a wonder dat u grew ups to b such an pilolr ov teh community. Awl teh hours u spend reading to teh deff iz admiralables.
Thx, Romeow! U *get* me.
Mai mawm frowed mai unkel in teh garbidge can. soon az he came home frum teh hostable.
Is that why he’s called Unckle Stinky?
…and lieks to trash talk a lot?
Babeh kitteh
And even baby-er kitteh!
Splort alert! Splort alert! Beep beep beep!
~Splort~
*sweep up DR’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
Thank u much.
Make smore room – aifinks ai gonna splort too!
**bildz room owta mashmallowz, choclick and grahamy crackers**
**noms room**
O noze, DR iz daown!!
Whoop whoop whoop heer coms the CCC!
Sweep sweep ur braynes inno a tydee pyle
Rinse rinse wif sparklee lemmum wadder
Tuck tuck pat pat bak inno braynium cabity
Snap snap awn the eggstra strenff CHRG (wdoi)
Taype taype wif rainbo cullered ducky taype
Leeds the wai tew the splort recovery lounge
Snuggle snuggle u inno a cheezfrends mappie blankie
Handz ober stoofed bebeh manatee tew cuddle
Offerz trai uv hawt chokklit, fresh cawfee an sordid pastrees.
Naow, u jus rest a minnit an doan luuk at anee cayute pixures fer a wile, kay?
Yay! a dubble reskew awn a kwiet Funday moarnin! er affernoon, dependin awn ware wii iz!
Whew. Thank u tew, I is very luckies.
teh lil wun duz luuk jus lyke hez yellin “mahhhhhm”
wii interupt dis lol fer teh followin anownsmint:
dis iz toadalee awf topik, butt – ai haz a lawt uf cross stitch pattern leeflits and a kupplol hard cover pattern buuks dat ai will gib tew newun dat wants dem…if yew iz interested, yew kan leeve mii a messij awn mai profyle!
fank yew – wii naow return yew tew teh regularlee skedyuled lol!
We want pics (ov ur bebehs and cwoss stitch)!
Wen duz we want dem?
Nao!
um, huh?
ai nawt unnerstand…..
I onwee seez one pic on ur profile.
Iz it juss meh? R dey dere and I juss can’t seez dem?
oh, noe – ai nawt haz pics uf dem awn mai profyle, mai stoopy pyuter haz nawt ben lettin mii put pics dere! butt if newun iz interested in teh cross stitch patterns ai hab, dey kan leeve mii a messij awn mai profyle, and dem ai kan email dem (or leeve mesij awn dere profyle) bowt teh patterns. ai haz lawts uf pattern leeflits fer animlols, sum fer Krissmiss and sum fer bebehs, and 5 buuks wif cross stitch patterns (3 uf dem be fer Krissmiss), and wun buuk wif patterns tew mayk teh stuffed animlols!
and ai haz sum crafting and cross stitch magazines frum 1990-1995, if newun iz interested in dem !
U habs so meny sweet bebehs, I was hoping to see dem. Mebee sumdai, wen ur puter iz beehaving.
ai du haz sum pics uf mai bebehs awn cheezfrens, if yew b a member dere …ai dont noe wai ai kan get pics awn cheezfrens but nawt heer! *shaeks fist at stoopy pyuter*
Fankee!
Can nawt splort!!! Has to goe sumwherz todai. (Pulling CHRG tight)
Butt (!) you CAN trick them intew giving yew their shiney fings.
A confidence kitteh’s humble beginnings.
Udder fings yew CAN dew tew liddlol brudders:
Arm twists
Belly slapz foar max pinkness
Cranial noogies
D…
Dip his toofbrush in Tabasco
Eet his cookies and blame teh dog
Forget to remember to walk him home after skool
G…
Garbage can toss
Hide frum (oar have hide butt neber look foar)
Include az an incentib wen purchasing stuff
J…
He tried to sends him airmale so he wuddn’t suffomicate.
Mebee sumwon ober teh pond wud want hims?
* Blurreh Screen *
.
~ A phew week week weeks ago, lolcatburglars manshun ~
~ Mick is talking to Rabid Weeslol Nummer Won ~
.
.
Mick: “Ok, listen. That horrid little pig has somehow convinced LCB to let him have his own talk show on the LCB Channel, right after ‘Mick’s Storytime’. If we let him go on, he’ll tell everyone my horrible secret!”
.
Rabid Weeslol: “Hmm… yesh, ai seas yur prollem Meeck… Yu wud NAWT want ppl tu no yur seekrit… * shudder * so whut yu want tu du abowt eet?”
.
Mick: “Well, we could arrange for him to have an ‘accident’ but if that happened LCB would know it was me and I’d never get the good meds…”
.
Rabid Weeslol: “Otay, mebbeh wii cud juss lok him awai in teh basemint unteel ebberywon forgits abowt him adn den yu cud be teh popyoolar won?”
.
Mick: “Oh, I like that! He’s always opening Safari Parks and getting to play with the others… and I just get locked in the Laundry Room all day… Oh, we’d have to get the French one and the Scottish one too…”
.
Rabid Weeslol: “Ah hah! No prollem, my big lipped frend… Awl wii knead is an extry large bag of pork scratchings…”
.
.
* Blurreh Screen *
.
Tu be continyooed…
Ooooooo1!! (elebenty) a mysteree!
wat will RWN1 doo next?
wen will Mick’s medicashuns wear off?
*waitng on da edge of da seet fur da next installment*
That was odd.
Did anybuddy else’s TV just flicker on, show part of a horror movie then flicker off?
* Blurreh Screen *
.
~ Teh following week week weekend ~
.
.
* Guinness Piggeh, Scrooge McPig adn lolpigburglar arr scampering arownd LCB’s manshun lukking fur noms tu nom *
.
GP: “ooo lookit! a trayl ob Pork Scratchings!”
SMcP: “Ach!”
LPB: “oui oui oui!!!”
.
* Affer lawts of crunching, teh 3 lolpigs had nommed awl ob teh Pork Scratchings adn were wunnering ware dey were… *
.
GP: “Umm… ware wii is?”
SMcP: “Ach!”
LPB: “non non non!!!”
.
* Teh door tu teh basemint creeks closed *
.
.
* Blurreh Screen *
.
Tu be continyooed…
There! It happened again!
I *asked* that phlonquais de moi to get the set fixed ages ago! Where is he, BTW?
Anybuddy seen GP lately? That dry cleaning isn’t going to take care of itself, u knoes.
* Blurreh Screen *
.
~ A phew week week weeks later ~
~ Our 3 heroes arr steel trapped in teh basemint ~
.
GP: “Otay, lookit… iffn wii is ebber gonna get owt ob heer, wii is gonna has tu stawp nomming teh fuds ebil Mick is gibbing us adn trai tu ambush him neckst thyme hii comes in… k?”
SMcP: “Ach!”
LPB: “Oui Oui Oui!!!”
GP:
.
* Blurreh Screen *
.
To be continyooed…
Saem fing happened to mah puter!
Iz dere a solar flashy fingy happenin?
This is gettin’ ridickalous! This fancy-schmancy flat-screen HD TV and Espresso Maker is teh pleh. I’m going back to my old portablol set.
Now, whare did we put it when teh noo tv arrived?
*rummages in closets, finds all kines of stuffs, but not whut I’m looking for*
O, I rembers. GP putted it in teh basement. Stoppy piggeh, whare IS he? Guess I’ll has to go find it myownself. Hmph.
*slowly opens basement door…*
*ring, ring*
O, there goes my lolphone.
*closes door to basement, goes to answer lolphone and has long conversation wif recorded message about car warranties*
U gettin dat stoopy call too, LCB?
I gotted it aftur I totaloled my car!
Oh, DERE yu is… pfft! Has yu NAWT bin wunnering ware ai wus??? huh? HUH? Wus yu NAWT teh wurried abowt meh???
.
Pfft… go get me a coke.
*holds hand over lolphone receiverer*
Just a minnit, Piggeh, I is on teh lolphone. While u is waiting, u might fix teh TV. It keeps showing some weird episode of Alvin and teh Chipmonques where they all has horriblol accents and hang around in a dank basement.
*resumes conversation wif recording*
Mm-hmm, yeah. No way! And u axed nicely and they still hanged up on u? That is teh so rude!
* narrows eyes *
* hangs up lolphone *
Nao, lissen. Does yu no whut Mick has bin up tu??? huh? does yu??? wus yu in awn it awl along???
Hay! I was talking.
Whut’s this about Mick? He’s in Fiji for his annual 2-month lip clinic visit. In fact, u should be going to pick him up at teh hareport right about now, shouldn’t u?
I dunno bout that. Teh recording was just telling me about teh warranty on that car and u hanged up teh lolphone just when I was gonna find out if it was teh safe to drive.
Um, yeah. Take teh sports car, yeah. If Mick’s
lipsbags don’t fit, u can pick them up later in teh Hummer.GP! Everyone thought you had RLS, and you’ve been hanging out in basements?
otay, ai wheel send AngelPlume tu taek care ob Mick…
Nao, whut wii has tu nom? Ai is teh starbing!
Ohai gammacat! Yesh, taht wus juss a storee Mick maed up so ppl wud nawt get teh suspishus, aifinkso
I think Mick putted some bags of pork scratchings in teh basement before he leaved. U can go get those.
* tremble tremble *
but but but ai donut liek eet down dere… yu go gets dem plzthx?
*looks askanse at piggeh*
Donot be teh silly. Is teh basement, not a chamber of horrors. Go get teh pork scratchings. Also plz to get teh portablol tv. Teh big screen one is teh acting up.
OMCC!!! Plz tu NAWT maek me go down dere! Does wii has sum… salid up heer?
* tremble tremble *
*shrog* Yeah, there’s lots of healthy stuffs in teh kitchen.
But u has to get over that irrational fear of urs, piggeh. When Mick gets back I’ll axe him to take u down there so u won’t be skeered anymoar, ‘k?
but but but kin YU taek me down dere insted?
GP, just send YOUR phlonquais to get them!
Whut is teh MATTER wif u, piggeh? Usually u is teh trying to get away from me. Now u want me to take u to teh basement.
*narrows eyes*
Say… this isn’t a trap of some sort, is it?
Down dere??? AngelPlume??? Is yu teh crayzee???
LCB, wud ai lie tu yu???
lookit, lookit tihs fais
* holds up bebbeh mole *
wud tihs fais lie tu yu? rly?
Whut is so importants down there that u want me to see?
*looks hopeful*
Is there firemans?
Umm… yesh, yesh… fyremans, yesh…
* shoves LCB intu teh basemint adn runs awai wib a kwikness *
HAY! There’s no firemans down here! There’s just a passed-out rabid weaslol wif creem all over him. And a big pile of garbage!
Piggeh? U hear me? Hello?
* Blurreh Screen *
.
~ Mick arribes wib sordid noms fur teh lolpigs ~
.
GP: “Otay, SMcP – yu distract teh weeslol wib taht beeg pyle of garbage… LPB – yu skwirt tihs anti-wrinklol creem in hims eyes adn ai wheel maek a brake fur teh door… k?”
SMcP: “Ach!”
LPB: “OUI OUI OUI!!!”
GP:
.
* LPB trips Mick adn he fawls intu teh hyoge pyle ob garbage… SMcP skwirts anti-wrinklol creem awn teh Rabid Weeslol adn GP scampers owt ob teh basemint *
.
* Blurreh Screen *
.
To be continyooed…
* scamper scamper scamper *
* Micololfone Fudback *
.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK WEEEEEEEEEEK WEEEEEEEEEEEEK
Ahem! AHEM! Ai can has yur tenshuns plzthx?
.
Dey tryed tu silence meh! Dey tryed tu keep meh awai! Dey deed NAWT want yu tu no teh horriblol truth! but but but ai escpyped frum Mick’s prison! Ai wheel has mai 15 minnits ob fayme!
.
Plz tu tyoon in awn Fraidai teh 15nd Mai awn teh 6am Cheezthyme LOL fur a won thyme speshul showing ob “Piggeh, in conbersayshun”
.
Oh yesh yesh yesh dere wheel be HYOOGE slerbritee guests, a fabyoolus musiclol nummer adn lawts ob otter phun fings tu!
.
Moar deetayls wheel follow!!!
Ohai bosspiggeh. Datz awlmoss free weeks away.
A lot kud happin in free weeks…
ah, dere yu is AP!
Heer, plz tu taek Mick owt in LCBs splorts car adn drybe him owt tu teh woods… yu no whut tu du.
Oboy-oboy-oboy-aigetstudrybtehsplortskar?!!
VRRROOOOOMMMM!!
plz tu be teh careful! Ware yur seetbelt!
Um, ware wuz ai goin agin? Hareport? Wuds?
Adn ware am ai? Ai don rekkonize dat barn or dem kows.
O well, dis be fun. VROOOM!! *dust*
Liddill Kitteh habz
annoyyengz Bebbeh bruddurr
dat crayvz attenshun
Bebbeh bruddurr habz
mennee kwestchunz dat Liddill
Kitteh can’tz anssurr
Liddill Kitteh can
habz foargettz dat hurz wuz juss
lyke dat weekz ago
Jack.
Sweet.
**Red hobbolols in, still warin hur nitegown an has seryus case of bed-hed**
Ohai folks. Ennywun gots enny cawfee left?
Jes made uh fresh pawt. Here ya go Red.
**hands Red uh cup o’ joe inna bear’s head mug**
Fanks, NC!
**sips cawfee**
Oooh, dis is gud stuff. My compliments.
yummmmmm. caw fee! tankie!
Ohai OL. Ai gawt yor messij. Fanky.
Here ladies, lemme warm doez up foar yew.
**fillz Red and OL’s mugs**
**pourz rest in own mug adn putz awn anudder pawt**
Paper N-E-wun? **Takes funnies section**
Lessee…..sinse it’s Sundae, I will tayk teh sales flyurs. I yooshulee grab dose nawt-sekkund.
**sips cawfee, luuks at sales flyurs, contemplaytin ifn hur shud stay hoam oar get dressed 2day an akshulee go owt in publik**
**finks to hurself: Teh faisbuuk kwiz sed I will meet Mr Rite inna buukstoar, so mebbe I shud go dere…**
Wut to ware? Wut to ware?
Oh! Then dat mussa bin Juan Rite ai wuz finkin’ of.
Dere’s a Juan Correcto fur eberywon –
or a Juanita Perfecta…whicheber u iz lukin fur.
Parently, we habs choyce ov saem seks marriage and opposite marriage.
Carrie Prejean ref – FTW
We can has both?
But whut if u doesn’t want a same-seks spouse along wif ur opposite-seks spouse? In that case can u has two opposite-seks spouses? *ponders teh possibilitys*
Butt, u has to considur, Wud u rellee WANT two opposite-secks spowses?
Tayk it frum me – sumwun who has been dere, dun dat – WUN atta tyem iz PLENNY!
U make a gud point, but if u tag-teem them, mabye they not so much trubbles.
Teh onlee way dat wud werk iz ifn wun wented to werk an teh uthur wun stayed hoam an kleened teh howse!
Mmm-hmmm. That is teh plan, yes.
Awparently dat nawt awll dat it cracked up tew bii either.
I finkso I jes has shuger daddee. No moar huzbinz.
I fot dat wen yew git married yew iz always supposed to bii habbin the saem seks.
**snikkurs**
Nawt meh. Deez slippers nawt leebin’ mah feetz todai.
Iffn yew dew go owt, say halo tew Ron White foar meh.
I nawt get dressed until abowt 5:00 yesturday, but nebber leeved teh howse.
Dangit, I do need to go get sum band-ades. I iz warin teh last wun dat iz teh rite size….
My mahm wunse cawt my liddlol brudder sneekin up behine me wif a krokay mallet!
I waz clooless.
All I knew wuz dat mahm wuz runnin owt teh bak doar, skreemin “Noooooo!”
oh, did he reed “The Shining”??!!
i wunse wakked my liddle brudder on teh noze wif a can opener. taht wuz 40 (!) yeerz ago. himz still haz teh skar. i fink wuz paybakk for wen him kikked me off teh sofa an borked my collarbone on crissmiss ebe. ob korse, him wuz sikk an i wuz bugging him so him sez wuz justifiyed.
♥♥
i lubs my liddle brudder ♥♥
Mai Brudder (RIP) borked mai noze O.o
wun uf mai brudders sat awn anudder bruddr’s arm and borked it…
Kitteh luks like he sez “Pweeez big brudder!!!”
And has happiface awn. ^_^
Pweeez…can I cums wif u?
Will u taek meh to teh baffroom?
I nawt wanna go bys myseff.
Iz it mah turn yet?
I fink iz mah turn.
Ur turn iz over…iz mah turn nao.
Here comes Li’l Brudder… he can make it on his own!
*pondurs*
Aifinkso Eva-bebbeh be considuring tihs at momints.
Oar at leest considuring nomming him.
Uh oh.
Wut happenin?
Her has a bit uv a jellus at momints, aifinkso — her used tu be teh senter uv mai tenshun alla tiem, an nao Cory sumtiems iz, speshullee coz Eva can eet frum bowl an use lidder boks an him cannawt. Ai sleeps cuddling Cory, an sumtiems ai wake up tu find her haz shoved him aside an her iz teh wun ai cuddling.
But tehm still sleeps snugguled tugevvr sumtiems tu, an ai gotta gotta gotta tel yu what Eva did yesserday…
oooh, a Eba story!
*sits on cushion, noms popcorm, wates pashintly*
Cory waz awnna cowch todduling arown — him cannawt be a marsoopiul alla tiem, him needs eksersize. Him waz neer edge when Trick walkd bai teh cowch, stopped, an sniffed at Cory. Wif Trick, this be almost alwayz followed bai a hiss and leeving kwiklee. Befoar him cud hiss at Cory, Eva walked berry deliberatlee up behind him an bit himz tayl HARD — Trick wented strait up an tuuk off.
Waz teh timing koinsidense? Ai duz nawt gno… but it waz funneh!
Gud grrl, Eba!
*wayts wif bayted breff…*
her will suun b teh senter uf Plasticat’s tenshun allatyme, aifinkso!
Eva bedder b kareful – in a kupplol weekweekweeks it kuld b HER in danjer uf bein shipped tew..hoo noes weer!
BTW, didja see how generuss teh Cheezpeeps has been? I has a amazed.
*runs tew luuk*
wow! teh Cheezpeeps b teh bestest peeps awn EERF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anom!!!!!!
That kitty has such pretty eyes!
taht’s exactliee hao ai feel kitteh!!!!!
Be nice to your little brother.
but himz not nice to me…
he eated mah share of gooshie fuds
I once mailed a cat to Dubai.
Sooooo true!!!!!!!!!!! Anyone want my brother?
I heerd Abu Dhabi needz moar cute kittehs. Send ‘em if u gotz ‘em!
You beat me! Garfield FTW!
So true!
forgets send the brodder, send me insted
-double splort-
Ewe owl stul dees langwidge frum mowse dee graihund. Hee sterted eet. Teefs! Eevul keetees!
it stinks we cant fav it. it is my favorite one on all of
ICHC!!!:-(