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look cute for teh camera look cute for teh camera look cute for teh camera look cute for teh camera yes, yes, maybe that heavy lamp will do the job. 1 out of 5 lolkittens are plotting ur demise.
yes. mah ebil plan iz almost compleet.
picture: Renee Stockdale. lol caption: silver22
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o heck…
SPLORT
*sweep up jk2k’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
ofankyew annipuss! ai tri tew nawt hab aksidint butt wuz tew much cyute…
Oh, an congrats awn ur solo nawt sekund!
mayjur conga ratz, anni, furr teh sole-low nawt-sekkund! aftr teh kwalifyid wunz fixx yur splorrr… (well, you know!), wii haz teh hawt cocoa furr ebreebuddeh. an jijjr shortbred tew.
silleh meh — ai sed anni — ai ment jk2k… ai haz teh embarist (faispaw).
.
awlsew, dat wuz teh *jinjr*, nawt teh *jijjr*… (stickeh finners…)
fankyew, aifink teh hawt cohcoh iz gud, ai iz gettin a nastee cowld…pleh.
ai haz a sawree tew heering dat, yu iz geting teh cawld, jk2k. hav sum jinjur biskits — tehy iz spikinged wif teh vitummin C, teh zink, teh ekkinaysha adn awl teh udder antee-cowld suplolmintz! adn naow callereez, tew.
.
cheezfrenz sendz beemz. {{{ jh2k }}}
fankees muchlee! kin sumwum goe an teech foar mii tewnite?
Ownlii WANSS, jk2kitteh?
Too mutsh cyoot!
**************
*Splort..Warnink*
**************
Diz Iz A Splort Con Nawt Sekkond Warnink! Awl 50s Bavving Caps Adn CHRG MUST Be Worn Wibbin Elebenty Feet Ob Lol!
.
Diz Iz Nawt A Drill. Iz A Powst. Drillz Aer Finks Dentists Uze. Awl Hands To Teh CCC Adn Teh Chokklit Martoonie Truks! Stingray Iz In Position! Anyfink Can Happen In Teh Next Half Hour!
And yeah, it would be the orange one.
GMTA!
Bonk him on teh hedd!
Ai can see ur nawt tu fond ob teh flash eever.
Kwik, wyl hims iyz ar stukk tu teh littul flash-boks-fingy!
Liddlol bunnee foo-foo
Hoppin frew teh forrist….
.
.
Kitteh, duz u do contrak werk? Ya see, I gots dis lizst heer of peeplol who needs to be Bonk’d…
My liddul gurl lubs dat sawng — it awlwaiz maeks hur gigglol.
I gigglol too, NS.
Mebbe I’m relee 5 an nawt 40-ish?
Well — troof be tolded, it maeks me gigglol & ai iz 40…. an it maeks mah Momcat gigglol & she iz 71.
Itz just a gigglol-ish kind uv sawng, aifinkso!
Believe it oar nawt, wen mine boi wuz in 2nd or 3rd grade himz teecher changed da wurds tu kissin em awn da head. Her thot bopping wuz tu violent.
Dat depenz awn ur boppin tekneek…
*snerk* aktualli LMAO teh more i think bout it.
Besydes, I lyk Sax & Violins…my fabrit Rednex album.
Maibii dat wuz da teecherz problem.
Skoopin up teh feeld mauses, adn … um, yeah, lemme see dat list.
I dowt wii has enny of teh sayme namez awn owr lizsts, AP.
Ahl du urz iffn u du myn
**hazza ponder**
Dat mite werk akshulee….
Lemme fink abowt it, ‘k?
OOooh I hope i nawt awn effer ufz yuz lyst. I bii gud i promise!
Sinse wen?
I try. Dat iz awl I kan du. Yu know mine hair iz red an dat makez it lots harder.
**nods knowinglee**
Yesh, I completelee unnerstand how it iz.
butt stil kyoot!
Say “cheezburger!”
*puts on grammar troll mask*
That should be “1 out of 5 lolkittens iz plotting ur demise.”
The spelling doesn’t bother me, but when the sentence is in mostly standard English form, the incorrect grammar pains me. Purrrhaps it’s just because that one issue is a serious grammatical pet peeve of mine — one I correct all the time when I’m proofreading things at work.
*taeks off grammar troll mask*
Ai nao returnz u to ur regularlee skedyuled lols.
*chanjes “1 out of 5″ to “20%”*
Dere, NS – naow iz otay!
Yay! Fankies, 4.5!
* refers to notes *
.
ok… ok… looks like a * squints at paper * Tee-Arr-Ohh-Ell-Ell… sounds like one too… uh huh… uh huh… ok, let’s see if I get this right…
.
{{{nightshayde}}} * runs into room, starts breaking things *
**luks askance at Mick**
**hides brakabulols.
U kin brayking stuff heer, Mick — itz jus werk.
Dat iz wun uv mai pet peevez 2!
i did not know you had a pet peeve let alone more than one.
has it moved in since last time i visited?
2 out of 10 lolkittens are plotting ur demise?
Yup yup — dat wud werk azwell.
**eers perk up**
Did sumwun say Cheezburger?
Wat cheezburger?
Ware izzit?
**belleh begins growlolin**
5 outta 5 are sew kyoot! **holds CHRG berry titelee**
Rapz teh extra strenf ducky taype wif pink lolofants awn it arownd PH’s CHRG.
**cuts dukee tayp wif x-akto knife**
Hay, wut are yu doin? SPLORT! **splorts all ober rhsb, rhsb fawls tu grownd frum wayte ov all dose braynes**
*sweep up PH’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
Fank yu annipuss! Moast awl teh cheezpeeps are sew nyce an halpful. Verry fyew eggcepshuns. IN fact, the onlee eggcepshun ai see haz a red hed!
**sticks tung owt at rhsb**
An hoo allowed hur tu hab sharp objecks ineewai?
**wunners hoos tung PH stuk at hur**
Less jist say a reelee ‘lucky’ fella.
WAT?!?!?!
I thot it luuked familyur…
Fankz west River rat! Dat wuz close!
Deez kittehs nawt has to werk berry hard to be kyoot foar teh kamra.
.
Teh rest of us howebber…… **long, sad sigh**
iz berree berree berree troo…
Yep! I stay behind da camera.
Me too, oar I go in-cog-neato.
Blargh!!!! Ai ar ded!!!
*sweep up DavecanhasDrTinycat’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
**glanses at noospapurr**
Oh luuk, sumwun has posted dat dere Mainely Coon kitteh iz missin frum dis area….
.
.
**pulls cubbers over “lump” awn bed**
Wye iz ur bed miaowin, Red?
My bed nawt miaowin, Anni! U must be hallosynatin inna eers, my fren.
Oh, Mai tinninninninnitus muss be gettin wuss!
Yah, I finkso ur rite.
Mebbe u needs sum rest?
**leeds anni to teh cowch**
Heer, u lay down foar a liddlol bit. I finkso u been obur-egg-zurtin urself latelee! Heerin teh bed miaowin…
Why doncha let hur lie down on yur bed? Huh?
Cuz my bed iz teh messee, Miss NozeeBritchez!
**stiks tong owt at PH**
Hay, hoos tong iz dat?
Yur bed luks perfecklee fyne tu me, cept fur dat wun lump. Here, ai’ll halp yu wif it!
Hay! U leev dat lump aloan! Dat’s my snorglin lump.
SUM of us nawt has ennywun to snorgle at nite, so poor me, awl I gots to snorgle iz a lump…
**starts cryin**
**wipes kawfee awf monitor**
Du nawt cry! Gud greef. Yu kin keep yur stoopie ‘lump.’ Ai will nawt kawl teh awforatees oar nuffin. {{rhsb}} **hands hur two sham-wows, wun to wipe an wun tu blow.
Nao ai hazza feel bad cuz ai mayde yu cry.
**takes ShamWow, an wypes eies**
**takes wut hur finks is ShamWow an blowz noaz**
HOOONNNKKK!!!!
**luuks down**
Ooh, sowwee…..dawt nawt ur FABRIT shurt, wuz it?
Itz yur bedrum, muss be YUR fabrit shirt!
Iz nawt my shurt.
**holdz up shurt**
DIS LUUK FAMILYUR TO ENNY OF YOO MENS?
O, nobodee tu snorgul huh? Sew wear did teh shurt come frum? Huh Huh Huh?
Um……..
….
….
….oh luuk, sumfin shiny!
Mus be mai strucshun wurkurs shurt. Him nawt hab wun awn when ai luuked. Iz teh Hawt heer.
**starts singin**
Iz gettin hawt in heer….
HEY! Come tu thinkin uf it I nawt seen Pookie in a minute or tu.
And that wun kitteh will getz his pikshur taekn—and put on teh wawl at teh post offis!!1!
most wanted – for lethal kyootness. shuld be considerd kyoot an danjeruss.
Killing yu softly wif mai dedly cyuteness…
oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! izz working!! Is blue and avatar!
*dansedansedanse!*
happyhappyhappy!
Congrats!
teh floof!!!! teh foldid eers!!!!
SPLORTTT!
*falls ober wif a thump*
blargh!
Oh noes, Gammacat! U been heer a whiel!
**borrow’s Anni’s splort recobery notes**
*sweep up Gammacat’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
FangQ red! ai was in a staff meeting wif a splort, but I don’t think anyone noticed.
Ur welkum, gc.
Mebbe teh flowurs distraktid dem?
dat, an teh cookees sumwun brot in!
Bai frens, tyme tu go to teh bawlgayme!
An tiem Ai went 2 bed!
G’nite ebbriwun, g’nite!
‘Nite, Anni!
See ya laytur, Dirtee Burd!
no need for the lamp. my head splorted on it’s own.
i like the kitty with his mouth open. it’s cute, like he’s smiling and happy.
Guies, I has discobbered sumfin AWSUM!
Frozin yogirt by Stonyfield Farm. Teh flavur? “After Dark Chocolate”!
Nomnomnomnomnom
Soooo….who lyks Bob Seger?
I has been lissenin to him most of teh day an iz lyk heerin frum an owld fren.
My lurve foar Bob wuz teh bestest fing dat camed owt of a relayshunship I had in ohai skool.
**walks arown hummn Beyootiful Loozer**
*flashes bak to ohai skool* *or iz it kollij*
wen wuz “hollywood nites”?
my old aje, let me show yoo it…
ooooo – iz dere TOO kalikos??!!! dey are awl kyoot!!
*splort imminent*
and are 2 uf dem Scottish Fowlds?
Ohai, UK!
I want teh wun awn teh far left an u can has teh uthur wun, okay?
otay!! ai liek that wun! *yoink* *snorgle teh liddle floofee bebeh*
Sum Scawtish fowlds earses fold daown adn sum doant. Luck ub teh draw/
Ohai guis!
*luks berry solemns*
Ai haz finked lawng an hard abowt tihs, becoz ai lubs mai cheezfrendz an duz nawt want tu endanjur yu.
But ai gno yu awl be risponsibul peeps whu wud nawt go luk at teh 18 gnu Eva an Cory pics ai just postifaied… wayt wayt wayt, nawt run off!… wud nawt go luk wifowt wairing teh hebby-doody (heehee, ai sed doody) purrtekshun. Ryte? Ryte
SKWEEEEEEE!!!!!
Dose liddlol blak toepads!
Eva luuks so BEEG compared to Cory!
Wut adorablol bebbehs! How u keep ur branes in ur hed atawl?
U guies is teh bestest parints eber!
What making yu fink ai haz brayns left in mai hed? o.O
Ai lying awn a cowch wif Eva an Cory snugguled tugevver ryte nekst tu me… hao cud ai pawsiblee haz brayns left? Tehy haz, between tehm, purrmanintlee redoosed mai remayning brayns tu mashd turnips.
OMCC!!! sew kyoot! hoaw kan wii taek Eva awai frum her liddle bruvver???
Yu adoptifai what yu can afford tu keep fed n helfy, uv corse.
*wispers* teh papers b in teh mayl!! *dansdansdans* wii haaza eggsited!
Woohoo!!! *dansdansdans* We haz a eksited tu!!!!
Ai tryd tu telz U dat. Didnt ai ask hoe U cud sepr8 da tu?????
ohai BomMomme! ai wish ai kuld dopt boff, butt fur variyus reezons, wii kan onlee tqyk wun…
will b hard, tho, if wii goes tw get teh Evabebeh and sees teh kyoot liddle bBC tew…
Mebbe bai tehn sumwun will be habbin an intrist in adoptifai-ing Cory — mebbe iz anuvver cheezpeep whu will fawl in lub wif him lyk plasticat fawled in lub wif Eva. It be a irrisponsibul fing tu adoptifai kittehs yu nawt can taek caer uv. {{{{{UK}}}}}
PK!!!!
*runs into teh ruum, stumbles on teh rug, skids on teh hardwood floor, slieds past PK & smashes into teh wall*
Ai meened to do dat.
*gets up, rearranges fur*
*trots ober to PK to gib hedbonks & purrs*
Hao u iz, PK?
*hedbonks NS, purring lyk a jet enjin*
Ai iz gud! Bizzy, but gud! Hao be yu???
Uvver den teh fakt dat mah braynes skwirted owt uv mah hed a fyoo minnitz ago frum teh oberwelming kyootness (eben tho ai had BOAF a CHRG an a 50′s style bavving cap on — an plenny uv duckee tayp), lief iz teh gud. Ai swimmed laps earlier today, which awlwaiz gibs meh happitayl.
Hao be Sean? Eva? Cory? Angel? Trick? Loki? Plz to givin dem awl mah regards.
Ebreewun be gudgudgud!!! Yu can seeing hao teh bebbehs be duing, an teh adult kittehs be happeh habing PoC an KD tu halp snuggle n lub tehm. Sean haz had a cupple uv pleh dayz coz uv teh wevver, but him starting tu feel bedderer.
Yay fur swimming laps n feeling happehtayl!!!
ohai PK! yew hab a gud bisit wif PoC and KD? teh pics uf Eva and Cory are tew kyoot – Eva luuks HUJ nekst tew him!
PoC sez: tu thums up, an lowd purring
Ai sekkund taht!!
Aifinkso we waz twins sepratid at birf, her n me.
donut wurry, p-k. we iz responsiblol adults an kan making owr own choyses wevver to expose owrselfs to danjeruss sitchewayshuns.
.
*splort*
*splortsplortsplortsplortsplortsplortsplortsplortsplort*
*poof* (liddle bit ob dust poofing owt ob teh empty cabity taht wunse holded lunarmommy’s brayn)
*sweepee sweepee teh brayns intu neet pyle*
*rinse an rehydrate teh braynes wif orinj-flavured sparklee waters*
*caerfully scoop teh brayns back intu teh braynium*
*jigsaw-puzzlol teh braynium peesis back tugevver*
*sn-nap awn teh ekstra-strengf CHRG*
*dukkeetaype dukkytaype dukkytaype wif orinj dayglo taype*
*wrap in flooffeh cheezmap blankkit an gib hawt chokklit an chokklit moose fur rebilding teh brayn sells*
Nawt luk at cyoot until yu has recobered, otay?
SKWEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!elebenty!!!!!!!
Um — ai donut fink dere iz a CHRG owt dere dat kin protekt aginst such extreeeeeeem kyootness.
Blargh. Ai r ded frum teh kyoot.
*crumbles into a pile of …. well …. crumbles into a pile*
*sweepee sweepee teh pile neetly tugevver*
*rehydrates wif sparklee orinj-flavured watters*
*stands bai wif floofeh cheezmap blankkit*
*gets gnu 1950′s bavving cap from Tybooteek*
*snaps seckyourlee onto hed*
*applies bebbeh eva hedband*
*raps sebberal layers ob duckytape arownd hed*
Otay, I’m going in….
OhmaiCC!!!!
Teh pinky and blacky toepads!
Teh kyoooot snuggling!
Teh littul tung stikking owt ob Cory’s sleepy mouf!
*brayes pulsing wildlee inside ob bavving cap*
Must…hold…awn…
*runs tu rap ekstra dukkee taype arownd ichf’s hed*
*finks*
*adds moar*
Sit daon, haz sum hawt chokklit, let yurself recober.
oh, teh kyootness! hao does yew c those tew adurable kittehs ebery dai an nawt splort awl ober teh place??????????
hao doez ai c yew abery dai an nawt splort all ober teh plaec????
*blushes tew deep pink awl ober agin*
so hao iz yewr dai been bein???
purty gud, opined savins acownt at bank, which wuz purty kool, nawt mush else. BTW, can yew go tew teh zoo awn caturdai???
seams positib
my sistur had a fit when she fownd owt dat ai wuz goin tew teh zoo cuz she wants tew see teh elefant, i was tawkin wif mawm in teh kar… bit of a mistaek afinkso
yew iz goin fur sure?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
*hoeps an prays taht wolfie says yesh*
fur liek 99.99 purrsent shur, wai yew need tew no?
YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
teh wolfie b goin fur 99.99 percent sure!!!!!
jus wanted tew no. ai haz a BEEG happiee nao!!!
ai haz a beeg happi dat Kat has a beeg happi
bai teh wai deed yew notis dat wehn we went owtsied fur healf an we ended up teh onli tew at owr tabel dat eat seemed liek merringer’s tabel was comminting tew tehmselbes abowt eat?
yesh, eat deed seem dat wai. kyle told mai mawm bowt eat, wich wuz radder noyin, butt she deed nawt ask maniee kweshuns, sew wuz nawt too bad.
ai meam comon we wuz owtsied an missus skooler was teher, purty dern cloes tew so ai doan see a problam…
tahy iz jus bein noyin.
BTW, mai dad told me tew gib yew his “Application for Permission to Date My Daughter.” ai told heem taht wii iz nawt datin, butt he deed nawt listen tew me, specily after kyle decided tew tell heem an mawm taht yew iz goin tew teh zoo. ai iz nawt sur taht ai weel tho, eat iz a funniee, butt purty weerd, applicashun!
butt nowing tehm tehy just wantid a gud laff…
jes gibe meh teh applicashun, dads is a pikshur ub sabreena shutin a powurful rifle sew eat kent be tew bad
an besydes weerd eaz mai speshulteh
r yew sur??? iz purty bad, has BERRY weerd kweshuns. ai wuld feel weerd an embarassed jus tew gib eat tew yew!
aim shur, yew no hao weerd ai am, oar eaz dis tew the lebel of teh pop kan tabs???
oh btw ai jes herd dat teh kidwells was ean a wreck parrently destini is purty shook up, sownds liek tehyre steel otay, matt sad tew pray fur hur
oh, iz WAI abuv teh lebel ub teh pop kan tabs! eef yew REELY want me tew, ai weel gib eat tew yew, ai jus fought ai shuld warn yew ahed ub tyme.
yeah i want to see it
*folds hands, bows hed, an closes eyes*
*prays fur destini*
otay, fyne! ai weel show eat tew yew! ai iz purty sur taht yew nawt akshualiee haff tew fill eat owt, butt yew kan luk at eat.
ai mai jes becuz, see wat yewr dad sais
ai fink taht yew myte change ur mynd wen yew sees eat, butt yew kan eff yew reely want tew, tho nobodiee iz nawt makin yew.
dublol negatibe
doan let mrs k sea!!!!
oops, ment tew sai “tho nobodiee iz makin yew.” sowwy! iz taht bedder???
no ned tew apollo jize, ai wuz jes pokin fun anyhoo…
ai no, butt steel…
.
ai probly has tew get aff soon
ryto oh bai teh wai sum randoom gai naemed chuch sez ohai
he wuz wundring wai ai left him ahnging on facebook last night
oh, well, tell heem ai sed ohai bak!
.
ai has tew go.
*blows wolfie gud-nite smooze*
cya tumorro
:blos Kat a gud-nyte smooze bak:
Too much kewt. Squeeeeeee!
oh, teh kyootness, eat b tymes five!
*grabs 4 CHRG(wdoi) wiff a qwikness, butt iz too l8*
SPLORT!!!
hurri
:sweeps up teh bwaynes:
:wahs tehm:
:put tehm ba eentew plaec:
:replaec cranyal peces:
:appli fresh CHRG (w/ hart drawin awn eat:
:appli ducky taep:
:appli ducky taep:
:appli ducky taep:
:rap in blanket:
dont strayn yewrsself nao Kat
otay, yew iz teh expert, ai nawt strayne maiself, wateber yew sai….
BTW, ai lyks mai gnu CHRG, eat b berry purty!
wuz meant tew beh
mus b
So, ‘sit jus me, er duz the last kittenne ermind joo of Stewie on Fambily Gai?
*coks hed tew teh syde an stares at teh kitteh*
yew iz ryte! luks an sownds a LAWT lyke stewie!
Oh noes! SPLORT SPLORT SPLORT . . . owt uv braynes befor owt ov splorts…..
TEH EARZ! TEH PAWS!
AI CAN’T TAYKE IT!
*splort*
“and if dat duznt wurk ill push him over the stairs to finish the jobz” *splort thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump splort*
an wif AWL dis kyootniss, duz ennywun wunder WY Ai fawled in lubs wif teh liddlol kittehs wif teh foldid eers? Ai saw mai nawt-sekkond Skowtish Fowld awn ICHC, and frum dat momint awn, Ai wuz wunting tu has wun uv mai berry own, to hug and skweeze and snorgle and nawt cawl hur Jorje…..
and naow, Ai has wun!!!!!! Ai gotted wun frum teh reskyoo peeps, a most beeyooteeful bebbeh, Miss Bonny!
Behold, teh powir uv teh Innertoobs!!!
Conga rats on teh bebbeh kitteh!
Sawry mai braynz is all ober da place! Ai mist teh CCC, must be awn udder thred.
While humans sleep…
*mai hed asplode*
Teh kitteh die.
Awwwwww…. Kyoot tew da fifth powa!
Is gud fing ai haz mai CHRG(wdoi). Ai may be needing a noo wun affer dis, tho.
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
Five cute kittens
I love them all!
Those are some cute kittens…what kind are they?
Oh noes, dun nawt keelz meh!!!!
well ackshully da oddur kittehs ar lookin inosent but hav eben mawr eveel plans…