SUPRIZE!! where are we?
how’d u git thru teh xray macheen?
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: laxrules58
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SUPRIZE!!
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TSA kitteh inspecting yer luggage
Customs kitteh asks “Anything to declare?”
nuffing eggsept mai genius
*With southern accent*
Well… Ah declare!
it’z “ah declay-ah”!
.
r us shure there’s nothing to declare?
luks liek the kitteh is, um, ‘squatting’ to meh.
is there a *ahem* dooty charge for dat?
*runs screemin intu teh nite*
Um … dis wuz sposta be a dooty-free purrrrrchase.
*clappity clappity*
Bery cleber nightshayde!
Oh, we can has sellybrayshun? We has teh lolidays for Easter an ai has FORE DAYS AWF WERK!!!!! Yay times elebenty!!!!
*duz teh “fore days awf werk” danss*
U can has sellybrayshun, aifinkso. Ai, on teh uvver paw, haz a normal week week weekend. If we had a fore day week week weekend, ai wud be tearin mah hares owt tryin to finish werk dat hasta be dun by Toozday mornin. Rite nao, ai duzzint hasta stress ober it (an can spend moar tiem in Cheezland).
Ai tore teh hares owt alreddy. Teh week week week – it wuz a nitemare. But nao, ai offishully does nawt care. la la la, fore days awf, la la la
u is berry lucky, aifinkso. I has to tear hairs out nao – ai is entertaintin teh kiddies on boatses. I haz 2 wrk, but only ober teh holidays. and longer on caturday (sigh)
Oh, ai finkso u needs wun ob mai speshul choklit martoonies. Heer u go.
*clinky glasses*
Oh, ai finkso u needs wun ob mai speshul choklit martoonies. Heer u go.
*clinky glasses*
Hmm. Dere’s an echo in heer????
It wuz jush a dubblol martooni…
@@@@@!
(those wud be ‘fully loded’ burgers, sp)
ooooo whif pikkuls!!! yay
datz wut teh SURPRIZE iz …:)
MAI LURVE FUR KITTEH, TAHTZ WAT!!! Pliiz SENDZ ME WAN LYKE TIHS WAN!
Minimum Wage Baggage Handlur Kitteh
iz in ur luggage
steelin all ur valubles
yo’re on candied cameraz
i’m in yer sootcase, having jet lags.
Yum… cameras…
*NomNomNomNomNomNomNom*
does U has jelly beans also?
stowed away!
U haz no cloves to wear!!!
nightshayde yor hello kitteh gits moar onr…orn…. fancy ebery dai!
Haaaay! Tihs izznt Dizzywurld!!
Ahm ur trabellin cumpanyun!
TSA haz apprehended a suspected serial luggage theef. Film at elebenty.
“Man, wotta long trip! Um, sry, but I hadda “go” in ur maykup bag…”
I has hongreh aftah deh long trip
Feed me now!
How did deh kitteh get thru deh securiteh?
Himz has elebenty pointeh endz
or weaponz of purrsonal destrukshunz
Yeah a six waye tye an tu double doubles. Iz aftunoon herz, ai gotz sum cheez n crakerz, fresh frootz an cold drinkeez. Ai du da macrammee dans.
*danzdanzdanz*
Spin, kick, fall over
Oooh, cheeze! *nom, nom, nom*
Oooh, drinkees! *slurp, slurp*
Aaaahhh! Fankees, Bom!
*Scampers in*
*Steals all of the cheeze*
Fanks, BOM!
*Scampers out*
Oh Maus, u noez bettr. U needz to shar da cheez. Ovverwiz u getz all bounded up. Der iz lotz ob types of cheezes.
Ai alsew haz da whyte whine fore da cheezez
Hay! Get bak heer wif dat cheeze, rodint!
*wunders if hur can
trick, er, purrsuede Maus todrop, er, return cheez, liek teh stoopy crow*Her don’t know me very gud, do she…
Ooh, mausie, wut beeyootimus furs you haz! Ai bets yew haz teh most purty singin voice, tew!
*bats eyelashes*
*Finishes the cheese*
*BURRRRRRRRP!*
*Daintily wipes mouth*
Why thank you. And yes, I do.
Do you have something in your eye? Here, let me help…
*Gets out the seltzer bottle*
*SpraySpraySpraySpraySpraySpray*
There! Is that better?
*Scampers away*
Rassin, frassin…
Owt-clebbered by a Maus!?!?
How hyoomiliating.
*sigh*
I bemembers when he usta spray me down…
*gets all nosstalgick*
*gets out selsur bottlol*
ai can gib this to Maus…
*offurs Leeza sum hawt choklit*
There, there, liddul skwirrl. It will awl be teh ok.
*yoinks a chunk ‘o’ cheese wile Maus iz bein distraktified*
*runsawaywifakwikness*
Fanks for teh assist, NS. Apparentlee, Maus not as gullolibull as a stoopy crow!
Nope nope — himz a bery cleber liddul Mausie.
Ohai ebberywun and gud afternoon.
Ebbery tiem ai gets owt a sootcase to pack, mai kittehs just HABS to get innit. It’s liek they r sayin’, ‘U kin nawt pawsibly go sumware and leeb us, mawm!’
Da huzby’s job meenz lotz ob travel. When wii still had jimmy da bahbeh kitteh, iffn dadcat gotted da suitcase out, Jimmy wood clim in an curl up sew DadCat coudn’t pak. An when DadCat wood taek Jimmy outta da suitcase Jimmy wood sit an meowCry
Aaaaw, poor bebbeh! Hims daddee leebed him behind.
yesh, Cannoli duznt lyke tew see teh sootcases! when hubbeh goz on werk trip, he payces. Ai has tew sit wif him and tell him he not be left alone!
he alsew climbs intew sootcases/snowboard bags after teh trip…
hmmmm….
Kitteh chequeded da TSA rulz, pointee endz otay iffn dey iz attachez tu da trabelor. Alsew eberione noes da kitteh would neber bee inbolved in purrsonal destrukshun – onle destrukshun ob da fuds.
hmph….TSA peeps NAWT nize tu mai kitteh wen we flewed back frum El Ayy last week… shoutee TSA ladee sez, “get dat FING away frum me, Ai am ‘lergic” as Ai carried kitteh thru medal detektur… they den hada feel up Miss Bonny, tu mayk sure Ai had nawt shuved a bahm up hur bum, (LOL itz in hur eer, yu didn’t luk dere, neener, neener….. pleh!!) and onlee DEN did tehy let me putted hur bak in teh kitteh karrier…wuz berry traumatik. Miss Bonny shood sue dem fur emo trauma!!
Ifn ennywun has tu fly wif a kitteh, letmetellyuwut….tehy NAWT berry kind tu aminals at LAX……grrrrrrrrrrr
ohai, Niteshayd! Hur am hissed-awf at me cuz Ai tuk hur tu teh v-e-t last night and hur gotted a shawt…hur wuz lyk, DO. NOT. WANT!
Aifinkso hur nawt feline tu gud tuday, cuz uv teh shawt…plus, she mad at me, and nawt wunt tu tawk tu me. Ai am a meen kittehmahm, Ai guess….
plus, teh trip tu teh v-e-t wuz in teh kitteh karrier…hur habbing flashiebax tu teh shreekee TSA ladee, Ai am shure…dat wuz kwite terrurfying tu hur.
but hur and Ai, we still gettin tu noe eech otter. She will be fyne. Just gotta tayk it wun day at a tyme!
Awww – poor liddul fing! So much traumatix in such a short tiem. Ai iz shur she will snap owt uv it wen she realizes dat she haz a grate furebber hoam & a gnu Kittehmahm dat luvs hur bery muchlee.
{{turtlol}} {{miss bonny}}
be careful! owr cats think ‘two peeps inna morning’ = catcarrier!
In my eggsperients, teh immygrayshun peeps at LAX is way WAYYYYYY nicer dan JFK. Butt, (he he), ai has to agree taht teh secyorritee peeps awn teh way OWT is nawt so nice. Ai has been showted at, treeted like ai wuz nawt tehr (while standin in mai bare feet an awl an awl mai valyoobuls is eggsposed teh udder side of teh scanner fingy) an genrully nawt habbin teh customer serbiss. Ai nose u has a bery important job to do TSA peeps, but u does nawt has to be so aggressiv. Teh udder airports manage to be nice.
An shame awn u for picking awn a kitteh!
Dey nawt nyce tu annibodi. Da TSA haz da gud onez an bad onez. Unfortunatli da bad onez alwaes R at da scareportz where ai iz. Mi huzby werks fore da FAA an dey gibbs himz da worses triible ob annionez.
Ohai Maus. I saw onna uvver pic dat u had to “talk sternly” to wun ov ur ‘puters. I duz dis most every dai. Adn I keep a pair of steel-toed tennis shuz at my desk when “stern talk” duzn’t werk. (ai system admin so ai unnerstans).
oops – anuvver great tecknikal term – haz to rememberify it! Well if it’s UNIX – dat wun fing. But if itz anyfing
else – ummm ……… (ohhhh dots).
Sry: is Windoze. At leest you gets to werk wif REAL puters.
*GrumbleMumble*
{{{{{Maus}}}}} Sorry – I kno iz nawt funny. Windoze servers are da new wuns our agency iz gettin, but
I nawt play wif dem. Stayin wif old wuns till all files are migrated to da big shiny data center. Den later I
can retirez! Well – sorta – haf 2 keep da old wuns funktioning till alla da processez be mobed off.
Ohai Maus! Maybe teh upmesst server would make a good _Koosh Machine_ — as it was splained to me, the conversion is done by taking the device (computer, monitor system, whateber) adn heating it up on the fier ntil it glows nice adn red, tehn you throw teh whole glowing thing in the ocean–adn it goes, “_Koosh_!”
Uh, has u tried turnin it awf an turnin it awn again?
Dat’s wut dey awlways tells me…
If dat phails, wayvin a ginormous magnet at teh pyooter mite duz teh trik.
Eggselent nightshayde. Ai lieks ur thoughtz.
Mah ebil thots – let me sho u dem.
@@@@@
oooooo! Ai still has a Mawnstur Maggot (by WHAM-O, ya noe!) stashed sumware at mai mahm’s howse! Yu wunt Ai shood donate it fur teh cawze?
Mawnstur Maggnit, killur uv compyooturs!!! hee!
Mawnstur Maggot ????? Do not want!!!
Ai’z inn ur sootcaise, trippin wif u!
dey has blocked weird pretzul at werk! ai can’t eben see teh pikshurs rite now!
oh pooh {{{gammacat}}}
Dey did dat to me too. Iz vile asian ob owr hyoomin rites, ai finkso. Nao ai has to werk at teh werk. Wehr is teh fun in dat?
*nods vigorusly*
yesh yesh yesh! need lolcats & cheezpeeps to help me relax after deelin wif stuupy peeps!
ifin anee technical minded peeps no how to get site werkin wen weirdpretzle is blocked, let me know!
Can you see it through Google’s translator? You can try translating the whole page from some random language into English (yes – I know it sounds weird). I can see some blocked sites that way here — but I can no longer navigate on them (I used to be able to, but someone got wise).
Bad noos, kitteh. We’z bisitin Paris Hilton. An nawt teh hotel, neiver.
i go kampzing wth mai friend and hiz dad and dis wun timez hiz kiti climbed in tehir kamper wehn tehy had it oponz to pack. wehn we gotz tehre and oponzed teh dawr we sawz teh cat and wer liek omgwtfbbq!?! dumm kiti and hiz dad waz realz mad caws we had noez kiti nom fur it so hiz mom camez and gotz da kat
okays, dis be far doon enuf to be inconspicuwous? as per JanetcanhavelotsaKitteh’s request:
The Saga Contimews…Did Sweetpea strangulz da Stoopyvisor whif da tendirls? Did the Stoopyvisor end up in Centaur Gulch? Does the Burfdae Faery has a new Troll
to exploit“employee”?♪Dunh dunh dunh (dramatic myusic)
[scene opens wif delireeyus tendrils danzing]
*still dizzy from happytale danzdanzdazn*
The Stoopy Visor “sent me to the principal’s office” by telling me my evaluation would be with her Supervisor. It was sort of like Brer Rabbit and the Briar Patch-”oh noes, don’t send me to da Briar patch Souper visor!! ” ‘Twas wunnerfuls!!! After a brief meeting (the 3 of us)where Stoopyvisor told her accountsand I just lissen’d, the Supervisor took me out alone for evaluation, observed me for over an hour, said I had excellent skills, passed me “with flying colors” (her words, verbatim) and then we proceeded to do a few operations like move a street on the map (which she had nebber dun before, needer). Was kewl. At her request, I told her my side of the incidents. As it is now, she is asking me to “continue with the fine work I am doing”, will try to schedule my meetings with some other supervisor when possibullz, and/or will transfer me. I couldn’t believe it. Alot of you folks were praying for me and sending good thoughts my way (partially so i wouldn’t totally melt down- I came close), and I really appreciate it. I was able to keep my cool, and not bring out the pointy ends. I kindof surprised myself, I was so calm.
Usually these kind things have a bad ending- who knows what will happen next, and now I have to live up to the confidence the (good) Super visor has placed in me. But, silly as it may sound to some, the humor, sympathy and friendship shown to me here did help me very, very much. Thanks, cheezpeeps. Y’all da best!!
yeah sweetpea!!!!
*dans dans twirl dans*
*kik twirl kik*
ai has majer happytayle fer yew!
{{{{{sweetpea}}}}}
*clappitee clappitee clappitee floofee paws*
Datz SEW gud to heer!!! Ai had wurried fur u — ai iz rillee rillee glad dis haz a happitayl ending!!!
…
Oh — an a big “neener neener NEENER” to teh nastee stoopyvisor.
{{{{{sweetpea}}}}} Dis be wunnerful newz!!! Aim so happitayle 4 u. Now ai can breathe eazier. Ai wuz worried u would maybe get worser reviewz. But dis is so sondermus!!!
YAYAYYYY!! Clappitee, clappitee, clapittee!! Yu wuz gud, yu held yur kewl, and ebberyfing turnt owt gud!!! YAY!!!! Dis am grate gnus! Fanks fur sharing!!
Ai had a werrie fur yu……
Oh, hooray!!!! hoooray!!!!! hooray!!!!!
SOOOOOOOO happy to hear this. Glad there is someone there who recognizes you for the fine and competent person you are, and recognizes that the other one was personally biased. Soooo glad for a good outcome!.
{{{{{{{Sweetestpeaintheholewhydwhirrld}}}}}}}}
Ai’m so layte ai’ll just jump in heer!
.
.
*sigh* Whew! Ai can relax nao! Ai ar so happee taht there iz – az indeed there shud bee – a happee ending. Ar Deer Sweetpea iz far, far too gud to be squished bai a Stoopy visor! An hao wunnerful to hav sumwun hoo akshullee recognizes in telly gents AND cape ability. Thiz iz gubbermint employmint az it shud bee.
.
Thanks Sweetpea! Ai’m wif booklion {{{{{{{{Sweetespeainthe hilewhydwhirrrld}}}}}}}}}}}
.
An TEHN – LCB coms along an putz teh Eye Sing awn the caek wif yet another grate sawng. Yoo know – sumtaims it just duzzn’t get ene bedder than this.
LCB dedicates this song most particulary to our own Sweetpea and also to all teh Cheezfrenz out there who have ever been saddled wif a stoopy visor who is their corporate superior but intellectual inferior.
(wif aplologies to Teh Eaglols)
Stoopy visor, why don’t u come to ur senses
U’ve been mis-counting census for too long now
U’re not a sharp one
And I know that u got no reason
That Sweetpea’s not pleasing u
U stoopy old cow
Don’t u try to prove ur intellect
U’re not remotely able
U know u’d have to cheat to pass an IQ test
Now, it’s clear to me u lack branes
And ur not whut we call stable
So u bully smarter peeps u can’t best
Stoopy visor, o, u ain’t getting no smarter
Ur cranium’s harder than unquarried stone
And wisdom, o wisdom, well that’s just some people talkin’
One brane cell is walking thru ur hed all alone
Did u become cold due to ur defect?
U lost ur charm and u lost ur tact
It’s hard to say to Sweetpea “u’r OK”
U’re threatened by her competence
Ain’t it funny how self-esteem goes away?
Stoopy visor, why don’t u come to ur senses
Stop being so denses, give Sweetpea a break
U may be trainin’ but she’s much farther above u
U better get up offa her back (get up offa her back)
U better get up offa her back, she knoes u’re a fake
*holds up lyter, sways two and fro*
Dat wuz brillyant, LCB! Woot, woot, woooooot!
dang, i am :lolling: my head off reading this again hours later…
“Ur cranium’s harder than unquarried stone*
oh, itz KILLING me! *laughing, falls off chare goes BOOM!*
Gud, because that’s whut it was writed for.
A few hours after I rited it I watched teh Seinfeld and it was episode whare — DUN DUN DUN — George cheets on a IQ test. oooh, scarey!
*leeky eyz from da sheer byooooty of yer LCBness. fangs x elebenteez*
Oh, nd sweetpea, sumfing else to cheer yu and ovver trekkies/trekkers:
Leonard Nimoy appearance in Austin, TX: (add h t t p / /
artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/07/geeks-gone-wild-spocks-surprise-appearance-at-star-trek-screening/?hpw
Yay!! LCB, brillyunt again!
{{{sweetrea}}} Ai alsew doez da happi dans, Iz safe fore u to talk to da stoopi’s supervisor iffn da stoopi visor iffn da stoopi visor gibs u moer probblums?
Does dat maek sense?
Hooray, hooray Sweetpea! And pphhhhffffbbbt *wipes screen awf* to ebil stoopy-vizer.
Justice and intelligence have triumphed. Wahoo!
I’m pretty sure this kitteh is getting reddy to pee in this sootcase. I know kittehs that do that!
*shudder*
I can’t imagine going to pack my stuff (which I never seem to get around to doing until the evening before I travel) & finding kitteh pee in my sootcayse. Dat wud be horribul!!!
Ai doen noe hoew mani Soulder totez Jimmy ruinded peein on or inn im. At leass elebenty hundred
ifinksew
Shour luks leik it tu mee tu!
very funny. perfect caption.
Bah — itz too cold fur meh to hazzin boaf sleevs up, but itz too warm to hazzin boaf sleevs down. So ai iz sittin heer wif wun sleev up & wun sleev down, luukin liek a dork.
hee….bedder sleeb den pantzlaigs, eh?
So troo!
*Quickly rolls pantslegs back down*
Not sure whose pantslegs those was.
LCB, Your sawng for Sweetpea ^ is teh awsum!
.
On anuvver note, I saw you sed your gnu kitteh Zoe is teh part meezer and habs teh “wiggley eyes”. NAO I gnoes why mai Boris kitteh duz that, cuz hims part meezer, tew! Ai always has a puzzloled abowt it befoar. Thx!
Thx, ICHF!
I didn’t knoes about teh jiggly eyes in meezer mixes neither until Zoe’s foster mommeh pointed it out. Further research shows that it apparently doesn’t affect their vision. It also means that Zoe and Boris should cut back on teh caffeines.
ohai, LCB! yur sawng wuz magnifiscent! Author! Author!!!
and Ai has a kwestshun: am jigglee eyz ennyfing lyk googlee eyz?
jist axin…..
♪♪ Baaaaarney Google ♪♪
yu, luuk liek a dork, NEVVERE…
*snikkers*
didduldidduldumpling mai frend jon,
went to be wif his stockeengs awn
wun shoo awf, and wun shoo awn
didduldidduldumpleeng mai frend jon
…
… even worse because I’m having trouble staying awake.
Mebbe ai shud go to lunch & waek up a liddul.
Wow, it wud be nyse to opin my sootcayse an find a kitteh insyde!
**wunders ifn a kitteh wud even FIT in hur sootcayse, wif awl teh stuff dat’s goin in dere**
Since ai problee nawt talk too u l8r haz da bestest bacashun, relax, enjoi, rest and maebe getz ur groove bak.
{{{rhsb}}}
Fanks, Bom!
I’m poppin in an owt, tryin to figger owt wat’s goin an ware.
watcha packin, huh huh??
)
(hopes fer clews tew teh red’s mysteerius destinashun
I gibs u hint – it nawt pozed to be colder den iz been heer.
Ifn it IZ, den y’all will heer wun angree redhed hollerin!
Wher yoo be going, RHSB?
Iz a sekrit.
I gotta do sum tawp-sekrit spy stuffs an kinnawt tayle ware I’m goin.
Oooo, tawp-sekrit spy stuffs! Kewl!!1!
kitteh is tewtally p-ing in therez
It’s companion kitteh. The best surprise ever!
Wayt, hao kum dis plays lukz fumilyur? An smelz fumilyur. iz kainduh laik….
O no.
U triks meh! U wuzzint gowin awn vay-k-shun! U wuz gowin tu VET’Z!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!1!!!1!
lol thats funny but i must say that would suck to fund ur kitteh in ur suitcase at vaca!!! lol!
Greatz………where’s Iz I now
In DFW apparently.
Has anyone else seen that story about a guy who went on a business trip and the kitteh stow-away? Well, this guy goes to like Dallas or something and back at home his wife notices the cat has gone missing. If you think you know where this is going, hold on. At the airport after arriving back in his home state, the guys luggage comes up missing. Turns out is was switched with another guy, and sent on another flight (although the man was unaware he was missing more than just some clothes). Well this flight, was going to France! The other guy gets to where he’s going, opens his bag, and aside from seeing someone else’s clothes, out pops a kitteh! Luckily, little miss adventure had a collar on with tags and it had her address and phone number so they were able to call her family. The family had given up hope, assuming she had gotten out of the house and ran away. Imagine their surprise when they received a call from France saying “We haz your kitteh”!! The kitteh was safely transported back to the USA and reunited with her grateful family!