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Cheezburger Network Blog
deth bai brume!
con cat shu lacerashuns on teh nawt sekkund, hao dew yew wunt tew illybrate???
iz tiem fur nais glassa wyne aifinkso. an sum nommee cheezez? an sum sahlahmeez? an teh sordid pahstaz?
.
eberbuddeh hav sum? yay! oooh, fankiez, wolfie — nao ai feelz laik ai’z in it-lee wif teh fremblee cheezpeepz!
comin ryte upp!!!
:fixy fixy fixy:
hears teh fuds!!!
nom-ma, nom-ma, nom-ma! (iz teh kittitalian dyalekt ub teh lolspeek.) nawt tew wurree, ai’z eyetalian maiownselph, soze ai’z nawt mayking teh fun uv teh tawk.
LOL!!!! We ar sposed to bee werrieed about hao sumwun tawks???
chucklol, jch4k!
Da ruum bruum zuum ob duum.
is not deth!
kitteh is just getting sum sweep
Luks moar laik teh kitteh got nokked awt bye teh bruum.
orrr, mebbe kitteh haz binn sweeped awf hiz feet wiff luvv.
kitteh daown! call dr tinycat stat!
Tinycat heer!
*REVYVZ CLEANIN KITTEH AN SNORGLOLZ*
Ai pronaownssyu heeled!
Ai lubs hard werk, ai kin wotch it for howers.
Even da watchin kin makes kitteh tired!
Yis, ai goes lai doawn nao, aifinkso,
Saev enerjee — donut cleen!
An onlee eats da cleen donuts!
Gud plan, KK4.
teh stench.. eat killifies
teh goggeh in teh entree hall wif teh bwoom
Oh noes! Der’s a hit goggie on teh loose! Call Inspector Clawsew! Call Skotland Yarnball!
But wuz it Mungojerrie? Or Rumpleteazer? Or could u haz sworn dat it mitent be boaf?
*cats* (teh musiclol) ref *ftw*, nightshayde!
.
(an awlso teh tee ess eleeyut ref. dubl win. an awsum!!!)
Ai will hasta lissin to mah London CATS sowndtrak soon, aifinkso. Ai lubs dat show!
Didn’t we just talk about CATS yesterday?
Or am I experiencing a déjà mew?
Yesh, and yesh. *nods*
Wait, whut?
yersh. iz teh deja vew awl ovr agen. (sez yogi?)
I has a confused.
I has to go rap a hot towel around my hed.
Izzit a hunndred dollar towel?
if LCB gotted it, not anymore!
I thot u was gonna say that if I gotted it, it WAS hot alreddy.
Well – I wuz gonna ask why u had a hot towel if u sells dem. I meen why steel it if u sells it?
So, whut ur saying is that I should rap a hot steel towel around my hed? DO NOT WANT!
hao bout shurlok homez???
oar inspector poirot???
Or Nancy Drew?
oar Miss Marpull??
Or da pardy Hardy boys!!
oar uh… uh… who wuz eat dat will smif plaied in I-Robot????
oar teh purrfesser plump inna consurvitoarie wif teh candlolstik?
Wai nawt get Encyclolpedia Brown?
oar jigsaw joens
Trixie Belden?
Magnum P.I.?
Oooohhhh Magnum *swoon*
Wen ai goes to long wifout cleenin, ai faints like dis kitteh.
wunder if ai kan get owt uf mai howsewerk if ai plai ded tew…
Kitteh isun’t playing. He reely meenz it. An’ if yu disagree, he’ll be meen adn show yu hiz pointee ends!
Hm… iz gud plan, ai trai taht.
“Halp, oh halp… blargh, ai iz ded frum teh oberwurkdniss”
*swoons wifadramatik*
*fans prysma-kitteh wif teh broom*
well, it weren’t bein used for anyfing else!
mai hubbeh wuld leev mii lyin dere awn teh floor, and ai wuld end up habbing tew get up and du teh howsewerk newai
Phhhhhhbbbbbbbtttttt tu uniquekitty’s hubbeh
Yeah, yeah! Wut Prysma sed!
ai agree!
Phhhhhhbbbbbbbtttttt!!
hehe – ai agwee tew! he a firm beleever dat howse werk iz wimmen’s werk (butt it duznt kount as “werk”)
Mah hubcat cleened teh toilet & at leest part uv teh baffrum teh uvver day wen ai wuz at Dizneeland wif owr liddul gurl… an he diddit on himz own wiffowt mah eben sayin ennyfing!
Ai haz neber dun himz laundree. Ai offen duz himz dishes, but ai duzzint mind dat (he neber haz menny). He usually cooks himz own food — ebbree wunce in a wile ai maeks fuds fur him. Heez a gud wun — very kind & thotful & full uv win!
Uummm Nightshayde do u offer classes fur da trainin ub hubbiez?
Ai gotted him awlreddee trained! Himz Momcat diddint do much fur him, so he lerned to do stuff on himz own. Himz Dadcat did a gud jawb uv teechin him to respekt wimmen (mah FIL iz also full uv win & awsum) & aifink himz jus gud guy by naychur.
…
Teh boyfrend ai hadded befoar ai meeted mah huzbin wuz moar liek UK’s huzbin, aifinkso. Ai diddint realize until ai wuz owt uv dat relayshunship, but he wuz emotionally abusive & nawt full uv win at all. He had ideeyuz abowt wut wimmen shud & shud nawt do — we did NAWT see eye-to-eye. Bein wif him tho maed me appreesheeyate how wunnermus mah huzbin is & how luckee ai am.
Awww dat iz great! Mine hubbi iz gud in himz heart but (hee hee) himz nawt so gud at da kleenin. I wuld rather haz a gud heart an messy howse den a nasty attitude an a perfect howse.
Anom to dat. Mah howse iz nowhere neer purrrfekt — but it IZ full uv luv.
Yay fur messy homes full uv luvs!!!!!!!!!
Duz he haz a bruzzer?
.
.
oh, wayt… I iz awlreddy married.
*snerk*
Seanya duz dishes an most suppers, nawt asked. Wud du moar but fizzikally cannawt. Halps wif londrees, tu.
Aifinkso yu may haz gotted a defektiv wun, UK.
PK pleez turn yur head wile i steel Eva and Seanya.
*sniff* Yu wud leeb me heer all aloan?
Well, nawt so aloan, gots Loki an Angel an Trick still. But, still….
How iz teh uvver kittehs doin wif Eva nao?
OOh PK i wuld nebber leeve yu lonesum! Yu keepz Seanya, yu tu are tu perfik tugether! I wuld howebbe take Eva an luv an snuggle and kiss her awl da tyme iffin i kuld. Yu wuld bii her CCmother!
Otay, but if yu see belo, aifinkso her haz a sootor.
NS, teh boikittehs still mostlee ignoaring her. Ai putted her in her playpen tuday an Angel was in it, an Angel gibbed her sum ravver ruff liks.
Eva waz playful alreddy an rolled awn bak an batted at Angel. angel furgotted her deeling wif teeny babbeh an batted bak. Ai hadda skoop Eva owt uv teh playpen wifakwikniss — Ai nawt fink Angel intended tu hurt, but, well, yu haz seend teh size diffinse in teh bideos! Nawt want tu risking!
or we can arrange for ‘retrainin’ wif teh rabid weaslols…
Me nawt-sekkund! *hedbatbatbatbatbatbat*
Sowree, got careed awai wif attempt tu hedbat him intu twenny-nawt-sekkund senchuree.
Oh, an anuvver phhhhbbbbbbttttt juss tu maek shur.
hhhmmmm….retraynin wif teh rabid weaslols wuld b interestin….
he finks wimmens wuz put awn erf tew tayk kare uf mens cuz mens b bery important. he prolly finks wii shuld nawt b allowed tew vote…
o.O Yu finded him in caev sumwhair???
… an kin u send him bak?
Yesh — we needs teh rabid weazlols.
Dis kitteh gonna keeps her mouf shut…cuz oh boy duz ai has opinions bout dis!!!!
*put one hand over KK’s mouth*
*and teh otter over hur own*
Rut-roh … skwirrlgrrl iz outta handz.
…
*iz bein caerful to nawt say ennyfing dat wud upset UK*
{{{{{UK}}}}}
Leeza!!! Wut u duing wif an otter ober yur mouf??
,
Iz u tasting him??
Duz he haz a flavr?
…
Wait — ur nawt nommin mah Roscoe, iz u?
iz otay NS – wii had diskushun awn heer a wile ago bowt mai hubbeh, yu nawt upset mii wif nefing yu sai. mai hubbeh definitelle wuz fownded inna caev! {{{cheezfrens}}}
can … nawt … resist … belleh … floof
…
Dat belleh needs mah snorguls!!!
*grabs snorgle snorkel & divez in*
Yu shud see mai kitteh Baby, him da floofiest kitteh ai ebber had!!
ai wish ai kuld get pics uf mai kittehs awn mai profyle – mai Stormy wuz teh floofee, and mai Amiga kitteh iz super floofee (and bery prittee), butt ai wuld NAWT trai tew snorgle her!
Ai kin snorgle mah Squeak (we fink himz mite be at leest part Ragdoll – VERY docile kitteh), but ai duzzint daer to snorgle mah Skimble. Timmy iz nawt a floof-monster, but he luvs being snorgled (and he luvs himz belleh-rubs).
Amiga wandered intew mai barn wun dai a kupplol yeers ago, and teh residint barn kitteh Dragon grashuslee allowed her tew stai (ushooally he lets teh strays eet, butt nawt stai). Her wuz bery bery shy at first, butt naow her meets mii at teh steps tew teh howse wen iz tyme tew feed teh horses (and barn kittehs). her “meowmeow” tew mii and let mii pet her, and her follow mii arownd, butt will NAWT let mii pik her up or gib her bellie rubs
her iz bery prittee stripee kitteh wif wite feets and fayce and bib, and wunnerful green eyes. ai haz a pic uf her awn cheezfrens, butt kan’t get ne pics awn mai profyle heer! 
Baby is black kitteh, but we be finking dat Baby be a black Maine Coon. Him bout 25 pounds…but him not a fat boy…his feet be huge and floofy, and hims eys and head…dat’s wat we be finking….I nebber had a kitteh dat big, and I been a kitteh mommy for bout most my life, which is bout half a century, give or take a few years!!
And I would nevver try to snorgle him in eleventy hundred yeers, him not like to be touched very much…aifinks cuz how him was abused…I jest snorgle him in my mind…sigh.
I wud liek to snorgle Skimble, but he duz teh bunneh-kik fing wen I pets himz belleh wen heez on himz sied (unless I pet himz hed at teh saem tiem). I rubz himz belleh wen heez standin up.
Housework never killed anyone… but why risk it?
Yez, is best to exersize cawshun in dese cases, aifinkso.
An cawshun be teh onlee fing taht shud be exersized!
@@@@!!!
mebbe teh elboe eggsersizez tew, tew lift teh glas uv wyne…
and mebbe eggersize teh fumb awn teh remote?
an teh tastee buds for all teh nommy cheezland fud…
Anom tu dat!!
That is just so wierd!!!
BTW, iz gnu Eva bideo awn UToob — ai nawt dunnd teh blog post yet, but yu can see teh bideo.
Eva teh Finger-Huntress
Fur ennywun whu misst it: her be 13.5 ownsiz nao! Waz only 3.7 free weeks ago!
oh teh kyuutniss! bee berree caerful tew goe watch diz…
(un udder wai iz h t t p : / / w ww . youtube.com/watch?v=iFSYbaXNkOI wifowt teh spayces)
omcc – haow kyoot!!!! iz funny, Plasticat haz alwais ben a huje LEGO fanatik – haz a ginormuss kollekshun uf LEGOs, wen wii wented tew TTI he onlee wuz wnating tew go tew Legoland dere, and wen ai asked him 2 yeers ago if he wanted tew go teh Disneyworld, he sai No, he want tew go tew Legoland in CA, and he tawk abowt werking fer LEGO sum dai….naow he tawking bowt selling sum Lego sets tew gets teh dopshun munnies fer Eva!! mai liddle boikitteh haz discuvered gyrls, aifinkso!! hims in LUB wif Eva!!
Ohmai! Iz luvs, indeed, when willing tu maek teh sakrifises uv teh fings taht matter.
yesh, he sownds liek boi wif nawt sekund crush awn gyrll – awl ai heer iz “Eva, Eva, Eva…”
Dat’s it. Yew HAS to let him dopt Eva!
Ohai, Taya!
*gentlee skritches Taya behind hur wings*
Ohai! *purrs*
taht iz hao ai feel about kleenin too, kitteh.
saem hear!!!!
oh an mawm sais ohai!!!
an accorsion tew alik ai am a creepeh, obsessd stawker,
butt he eaz jelloous aifinkso
fur wun fing, eat’z alec. he iz awl around weird! an ai agrie taht he iz probly jus jellous…he misses his seet buddiee!
wheel he nawt gettin hem bak, he keeked meh owt ub the bible seet sew…
well, he obviousliee steel wants yew tew seet wiff hem an josh an rothin at lunch…tehy haz ben followin yew tew mai table!
butt, butt, butt ai seet wif tehm teh nawt sekkund haff!!! wat mur do tehy want????
tehy kant spect meh tew nawt seet by yew at leest haff teh tyme, ai cod jus et lunhc wif yew!!!
they eaz jes tryin tew get awn mai nerves aifinkso
ai dont no…during teh nawt-sekkund haff ub lunch iz wen we tawks about gurl stuff, an tehy r no boyz ( oar wolfiez!) alowd! bsydes, wuld probly scare yew…we tawls abowt BERRY weird fings sumtymes!
ryto
wheel membur
gud, cuz ai nawt wantz yew tew b scarred fur lyfe!
tew laet, mai fince maed shur ub dat
yesh, butt dat b an OWTSYDE scar, an kan b furgot about!
unteel eat stert feelin weerd, witch eat been dewin moar laetleh
ai haz neber heerd ub a scar feelin weerd. eff ai’ve sed eat once, ai’ve sed eat a fousind tymes…yew iz weerd!
Fang Q
iffen wat ai seez on the ebenin newz eaz normal den ai doan wann beh considurd eat…
(mr yoder kwote)
hii haz a berry gud point. ai weel haffs tew remember taht!
*remynds self tew remember teh mr yoder kwote*
ohai wolfie! sowwy ai wuz nawt on earlier. mai dad tawked fur a lawng tyme after church, sew we got hoem l8r tahn yooshooal.
.
.
ai gotted ur emayo. ai fink ai teh tabs wurked owt…sumtymes tehy wurk, obber tymes tehy dont. ai got teh obber wun too. ai haz NO idea y yew sent eat tew me!
ai wuz bored
had nuffing tew dew
sowwy, an ia toalli furgot taht tehre eaz curhc wednesdai nytes seying as violeen gets in teh wai…
jus remember NEVER tew call me on wednesdais…sumtymes ai furget tew put mai fone on vibrate 4 church!
ryto
:maeks note tew self NEVER tew call Kat on wednesdais…sumtymes she furget tew put mai fone on vibrate 4 church!:
oh ai herd owr song on teh radyo earlier!!!
reely?!?! ai haz nawt heerd eat on teh radio in ages!
tew wurds
Teh Hawk
tree letturs
95.5
:fink fur a meenit: free numburs ai meen
teh wolfie has tew go bac tew earlier engrish class an leern hao tew spell agin!
dat oar get mur slehp…
maor sleep mite halp aifinkso…an no mtn. dew b4 bed!
ryto wheel memburr
anyho graham drank awll owr mt. dew an eaz nawt on sail sew we nawt haz aneh
*pats wolfie on teh bac*
iz otay, yew weel haff mtn. dew agin soon. dont cri.
*gibs wyte chokolytes tew halp wolfie feel bedder*
fang Q
:noms teh wyte chokklit:
yew feel awl bedder nao???
yepurs must defianlteh
fangkew agin
ur welcum, wolfie! iz no problem, ai nawt lyks tew c teh wolfie sad!
ai nawt lyks teh wulfie sad eiffur
personaliee, ai prefer teh WCOL, on 92.3. ai lykes teh owl country, butt nawt as mush as sum ub teh gnuer stuf!
wii diffur tehre, butt dat ken be gud, wood beh booriing iffen weh agriid awl teh tyme
yesh, eff wii alwaiz agried, wuld get borin after a wile ai finkso!
Introoding fur a sec heer …
Aifink its sew kyoot dat u two comes heer to talk in teh ebenings.
…
Datz awl. Plz to go bak to ur fun.
must definitally
alwaiz gud wif toes silli argyoomints
we haz teh belesseengs ub teh sheezpeeps aifinksew
yesh, lyke iz owl country oar gnu country bedder (gnu), an iz wyte chokolyte oar dark chokolyte bedder (dark), an…
dat iz alwais a gud fing..wodd anwt want awl teh cheezepeeps tew b TOO noyed bai owr alwais tawkin!
Ohai Wulfie!
an… an… eaz sci-fi oar shik fliks bettur (sci-fi) an.. an.. ai eaz drawiing a balkity
ohai ETP
wut yew doin???
neever iz bedder…lub sturies b teh best sturies EBER!!!
yesh eaz berry gud fing ohter wyze tehy myte banish us!!!!
fyn fantasy becuz tehy offun incorporate lub storeez!!!1
yesh, fantasy b gud sturies tew. tehy iz alwais interesting!
fank u cheezepeeps, fur nawt banishin us!
yesh Fang Q cheez peeps
{{{awll teh cheezpeeps}}}
{{{awl teh cheezpeeps}}}
Whut r yoo talking bout? I can join?
we eaz hao deed dad koin eat special frends moar den frens
butt nawt teknically goin owt, nawt tew eazy fur yew to joyn, sowwy
akshulliee, ai haz tew go soon.
rojer dat wuz bowt tew sai sumfin, wheel cya tumorrow Kat
otay, cya 2murrow, wolfie!
by-by, cheezpeeps!
cya cheezpeeps!!!
Bye bye, Kat & Wolfie!
Hey folks!
Jes poppin in foar a liddlol whiel. Got home nawt long ago, an am startin to pack! Got lawndree goin too.
How’z eberywun tonite?
{{rhsb}} we missed yew todai! Princess Mu gotted blocked at werk tew…
when is yew runnin awai from hom agin? ai lost track…
Oh noez — did rhsb lose access atwerk azwell?
Ohai, Red!
Sumwun heer (atwerk IRL) haz putted owt do-it-urself s’mores teh past kuppul uv days. Graham krakkers & borked-up choklit bar & a jar uv marshmallow fluff. Itz teh daynjerus… but it maeks meh happitayl.
…
Hao iz teh gnu car? Duzzit haz a naem yet? Iz u gonna haz gud wevver fur ur bacayshun?
Wen I leev werk 2morrow at 4:30 p.m., I nawt has to be bak until 8:00 a.m. awn Wenzday! I fly owt awn Gud Fryday an return awn Toosday. Nawt a berry lawng bakayshun, but will has to do foar now.
I nawt dryved teh noo car 2day (lawng storee), butt will be dryving it 2morrow!
Yah, my stoopy werks iz relee crakkin down awn non-werk-relaytid innertoobs usidj, an now dey even sayin wat I kin an kinnawt luuk at awn brakes an lunsch. I werk foar teh gub’mint, so wut u egg-speck?
*shows rhsb’s bosses hur pointy endz*
Nawt fair! I nawt want tu go bak tu wurkz til Wedsdai!
Tawlk to ur boss, den!
Him nawt kare! I towld him i wuz gonna run awai, and him said “rite wen yu find wurk”. Iffin himz wurkin I iz wurkin.
I has been goin nawn-stop awl week, wif liddlol tyme to do ennyfing butt wut iz absolootlee nesissaree.
Oh, an dis moarnin, my eies popped opin at 4:30 a.m. an I nawt get bak to sleep. I prolly gonna crash soon.
I duz dat wen i haz an eggsited bout sumfing! Haz a wunnermous tyme awn bakashion. Are yu gonn tell us wear yu went wen yu git bak?
I dunno, will has to see.
I prolly drop in foar a liddlol whiel 2morrow nite. Donut kno ifn I will has a chanse to say “Ohai” befoar I leev awn Fryday. Will try to pop in awn Fryday nite.
In case you don’t have a chance to pop in … have a safe, wonderful trip!
Wii will awl know wear yu went wen wii sii awn da newz bout awl da fryremenz dat went missing.
Bring sum home fur yur friendz!
Hay, ya gotta keep teh stock rotaytid!
Hava great time!
I agreee wif dis kitteh. Cleaning is teh pleh!
Dats wat I luk lyke awn kleenin dai! Da broom iz just tu hard tu wurk!
Izzint dey mainlee fur Quidditch ennywaiz?
Harry Potter ref!
Nawt know Harri Potter butt( heehee ) i wuz thinkin they were fur ridin round town. Dey do git great gaz mileage!
U shud reed teh books, 3km — u kin likely get dem at a liberry if u duzzint want to buy dem. Dey iz well-written & bery entertaining. Definitely nawt wut u fink uv as “childrens’ books.”
If yoo wanna reed a really good fanfic, chec dis out: (Clos teh spaces) h t t p ://northcastle.co.uk/guild/ff_general. htmlscrool dwn
until yoo see a bunch of stoories called “Secrets” they ar awsom!
Fankies, ETP — ai mite hasta czech dat owt.
…
Speekin uv “owt” — itz tiem fur meh to going hoam. Yay! Ebbreewun haz a grate nite!
G’nite NS! We shud start a book klub! ICHGB! (I can has good book)
ditto to taht…
Death by houseworkz
Awf tu feed Eva-bebbeh an tehn bed… wun moar day uv skool, an tehn weekend tu rest an trai tu catch up awn fings!
Gud nyte!!!! {{{{{{cheezfrendz}}}}}} Schmoos!
Gudnite PK! Ai hopps u sleep beli well & waik up refresht & reddy fur teh wurld!!
Kittehs wur nawt maid fur teh hard laybur. Dey wur maid tu be surved. Egypt shud prove dat, aifinkso.
………
Walk laik an Egypshun…
Oh, anna Gud Souf Afreekan Morning tu awl!!!
{{{{cheezpeepz}}}}
Oh Mai Goshees!!! Et wuz an atemtid murdir!!!!! Sumwun nokked teh kitteh awt wif teh bruum! Ai demand an invesigashun!!!
*dofs hat adn cowt, takes awt beeg magnifaiing glas adn starts sniffin round*
Ware wuz teh goggeh between 16:00 adn 16:30 yesurdai affernuun?!
Wuz r dees littol wite stuff on teh karpit?!
*taeks sampol, sends tu lab fur testing*
AI WILL NAWT REST TILL DIS CRIME IZ SOLVED!!!!!!
Saev enerjee — donut cleen.
lol. reminds me of that tv commercial where that guy uses his dog for a broom