There are a hundred ways to stalk your prey and remain unseen. Miles doesn’t know any of them.
picture: silverknife. lol caption: ganwil
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oohh Dots!
ohai maus, carosue adn nyghtwind! conga ratchets awn teh freeway ty, adn tu Maus furr teh tawp uv brayde! ai iz poring teh pretteh greene Spring Punch, wif teh mint leevz adn teh flour petlolz. adn sum buttr kookeez. injoi!
BUTT cookees?
Do nawt want.
I has a queshun fur Uz on deh last lol
chortl snerk! dey beeing *buttr* kookeez, wif teh “r” — butt (gigglol) yu kin havingz tehm in *shaype uv butt if yu warntz (iz awlmoast laik hart upsyddaon)…
At mii werks der wuz a gurl dat madez da caeks furr da bacheloreete parteez in da shapez uv a soitin boi partz (i ges wuz reelee tree partz — butt (no nawt da butt) dey wuz awl tageffer … Da caek wuz fillz wif creem. I neber cud noes howz eeneywunz cud eet dose caeks!!!
I cud do it, butt onlee in frunt of sertin peoplols.
I seeinged a noos item yestiday of a . . . um . . . certain bawdee part that a boi in TTI paynted on tawp of himz parents’ haus. Wuz ther for a yeer befoar they gnu abowt it.
Warnink: an adult themed drawring shows up in teh pikshor you’ll see on this noos item.
news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/newsbeat/newsid_7961000/7961224.stm
Mah kweshchun: hao did they finally fynd owt it wuz ther?
OMCC!
mebbe that is teh Nawty Barn????
ifinkso yur rit
LMAO
Prolly wehn it showed up awn “Britain’s wildest police hellycopter chases”. Hey, Mary, look, it’s our house! Wait a minute, what the heck’s that on the roof? Looks like a… Rodney! Get in here this minute! You are grounded for life!!!”
That scene from Austin Powers keeps coming to mind where they keep coming up with euphemisms for teh mayl bawdee parts.
Looks like a . . .
Willie Nelson!
Or . . . yor haus fynally shows up on Lifestyles of teh Rich and Famuss. (Hey Mary, luk, it being owr haus! We is faymuss!)
And ther for teh furst tyme, yoo sees . . . in dawning horror . . . yor verreh own roof. Wit this drawring onnit!
*SNERKLE ERKLE ERKLE*
*GSOML*
Butt (hee hee!) Miles duzzen haz tobee hiddun. He iz sew Qte!
fankees rosina! ai must bee having sum of dis. iz mai lunchtime adn ai cannot go to eet yet.
*nom nom nom sip sip sip*
*admires de preety green color of the fruit punch*
Yet
skills. i haz them.
Hydin iz nawt wun uv dem
Butt — mii uder skillz r sooo gudz dat I no needz ta hidez!!! I luks atz da pray an it jest dyes ub fritez!
Dis iz nawt a gud wai!
teh aiz havvit
an doz wondermaus long wiskers!
Miles’ intelligence is measured in microns.
But hi z floof! That is a differt story
then he can run for congress
Oar at leest, state lejislatcher.
* snerk *
Eggsactly !!
Who needs branes wen u got dat mutch beyooty?
Unforchunatlee, sum of us missded owt awn BOFE opshuns.
Hoo wud dat be? U cuddnt be referrin tu urseff … ur so smart adn prittee adn luvabul adn funee adn … adn … ebreefing!
Aw, fanks, AP.
I jes nawt feline it latelee, I gess.
rhsb, trader joe sells a ginormous, 17.6 oz of bar of dark choclate fur only 3 bucks, is from Belgium and is berry gud, demz callz it pound plus.
I made choclate, strawberry paninis wid it yesturday!
herz berree modest
Or fishin fur compleemints
Nope, nawt yooshualee.
Teh last two yeers of my lyfe has been Hail-ayshus at best, so teh bodee an helth nawt been tawp pryoritee.
Nao dat teh drama be ober, I’m luukin at teh bodee an goin “WTH heppind?”
*sigh* Ai noes how dat feels. Ai showed sum werk colleagues a photo of me at a wedding menny years ago and dey sed “wow, you used to be so tall!”
Uh, no, still teh same height. Just rounder.
Yup. I knows dis feelin. I HAS shrunked, an gotted rounder…..hey!!! I werked owt why!!!….Compressin teh height meens skwishin teh bawdee downwerds which spreds it owtwerds
Yesh. DATS why ..Yup. Dats it 
grabbity, itz awl garbbity’s fault.
Or global warming. A lot of things get blamed on global warming, why not this?
Iz otay iffin meesured in dose littol teeny units — it jest meens dat da number ub dem iz haier. hees intelligencia equails elebenty miilionz zeelions ub does stinky leetol microns!!
He doesn’t need to, sheer meanness will render his prey helpless.
If u sheer him maybe he CUD hide behind teh pole!
But… but… then he would be teh chilly and would has to wear a parka and then would not fit behine teh pole again.
but but… he cud has catmoflage parka??
.
I bet tehy has them in Alaksa.
He doesn’t need to, himz human keeps him well fed.
Hied an go seek playur.
FAIL!
Im hiding. U no can see me.
sounds like mah kitteh, himz hides unner deh bed to surprise me
but himz tayl is stiking out
ef ai kant see u, then… uh…
Mah liddul hyoomin gurl awlsew nawt so gud at hied an seek. She hieds, but den gigglols bery lowdly wen u iz neer.
these are not the ‘droids you’re looking for……
Adn if u don beleev me ai has wayz tu convins u.
Miles mai not b beli gud wif teh sneekii, but…. hehe….. iz defity gud wif teh eggspreshun! Aifinkso!
I kin see foar Miles an Miles
I kin see foar Miles an Miles
I kin see foar Miles an Miles an Miles an Miles an Miles…
Ai can ownlee see wun Miles…
Mabye Red has teh short-term memory prollems.
Oar kwadrooplol bishun.
Or short-term memory prollems.
Or short-term memree problums.
Yes, I think u has hit teh nail on teh hed. *Bang!*
Come in, teh door’s open!
Who’s red again?
rhsb
ifink — i nawt member rite naw – axe mii laterz
Who?
Yup.
Yes. No, not Yes. Yes.
why do I have the image of the end of Clue with them counting the number shots left in the revolver?
Because u leaved teh DVD player on again?
prolly commiserating with someone about our loss when Miss Kahn passed.
but can u see to Alaksa??
Onlee ifn I luuk awn map.
But… but… some people out there, in our nation don’t have maps!
Yah, an sum peeplol meen “up dere” but say “down dere”.
Um….I’m NORF of u, nawt SOUF!
*gasp*
say it isn’t sew!!!
.
do we need to start a fund razor??
Yes, we needs to make sure that all U.S. Americans can has maps so our education over here in the US should help the US.
yesh, I already feel liek I am losing intelligents.
I din’t unnerstand anyfing u sed!
I think we has finded our next Miss Souf Carolina!
*puts tiara and sash on skwerl*
Hey now, I live in South Carolina. I can tell you skwirrlgrrl is massively over-talented for the job.
*AHEM*
I is in teh NORF Carolina!!!
And is not my falt, I has had my branes zombified by teh boring werks today.
** sends Leeza some of the werk frum my LARGE pile **
Wanna quote sum bockses ???
can I? can I??
I can trade u boaring data entries and auditor rekwests???
Hmmmm…
my werk iz nawt lukkin so bad,nao!
*hedbat* Ur stoopee hokkey teem beeted mai teem last nite!
Naow wii won’t maek teh playoffs.
jsut HOO is u hedbattin??
Um…oh…reelly ???
Ai haz to confess…ai haz nawt watched much hokkey since the player’s strike.
Only watch “Coaches Corner” every now & agin…mostly to see whut crazee thing Don Cherry is saying/wearing.
Sowree Eeck, ai not hedbat yoo – ai wuz aiming for Leeza.
Ai lubs to watch Don Cherry – iz bery entertaining!
** stands aside & lets hedbat travel on to NC **
Since you’re busy, I though I would remind you of my Special Order…
And in the “Adding Insult to Injury” department, the Flyers are doing just fine, thank you…
*dodges*
I thot as much!!
Sorry…the Statue of Limitations on spherical,canvas boxes has officially expired.
** shows Ebil Maus the statue, which is done in a beautiful pink marble **
oh, that’s, uh…. very lifeliek, eeck!
.
hoo was teh model???
Hmmmm… Not me, that’s fer sure…
Getyer minds owt uv teh gutter !!
It’s OBVIOUSLY a statue of a chubby cat with a maus in one hand,and a hammer in the other.
It discourages complaints…
Usually…
yes YNG.. I can tell by teh proporshuns.
The… um… feet are way too small…
And I’m certainly NOT pink!
yes, of corse hunny, I know ur feet are much bigger than that!
but can U see Putin’s head?
cuz der bee a map onit ifink
Dat wuz Gorbachev, aifinkso.
Ai can see Russha from mai hows.
Camoflage fail.
I dunno, sometimes hiding in plain sight works verry well, I can attest to this phenomena in relation to car keys, certian tools, and sunglasses (although the plain sight was for the populace and not me as I cannot see the top of my own head without a reflective surface)
*snikkers*
U shur wii nawt relaytid, Dan?
I cudda SWORE dat I’d losted my grodj door openur wunse, an it wuz IN MY HAND!!!!
Did this with a pen once. The worst was when I was talking on my cell phone and telling the other person ‘hold on, my cell isn’t in my purse’
Hey, dat sounz familur! Do ai noes u?!?!
In hai skool onna bandz twip I wuz askin sumwun wear mii hair clip wuz an it wuz in mii mouf!
I wuz drivin down teh rode wunst and suddinly thot in a panic, “Wait! Whaddid I do wit mah car keys?”
*snort* taht must bee teh best wun!
hmm, red, iz yoo me?
Lawdy, I hoap nawt!
Wun of me iz enuf. Sum wud eben say too menny.
Tru, tru, but den peepol doan reely loose deir heads….. fisicallee, dat iz.
As fur teh keys adn sunglasis adn stuff, dey can onlee b…. misplaced wen u doan hab a speshul plais fur dem, aifinkso!
My sister wunce loaded up teh car wif teh baby’s diaper bag, bottle, sawftee blankee and toys for teh journey, change of clothes in caes of acksidents of teh stikky or gooey variety, baby wipes (industrial size), kleenex (ditto), and assorted udder paraphenalia den drove awf leaving teh baby sitting in her car seat awn teh kitchen table. Oopsie.
(she realised very kwickly, no babies wuz harmed in teh making of dis lol but boy wuz mai sister embarearsed)
kitteh nawt haz gud staklin skills
stawlkin nawt staklin
I wud say teh eies, eers, an whiskurs are definitly staklin. Sounds more liek sparklin + starin.
Kitteh’s nawt stalking. Iz board!
Dis wurked much more good when Miles wus kittun…but den he cudnt see over teh board.
Miles is a lidlol chunky
ai lidlol chunkeh? joo meen vereh chunkeh!1!
Nooo! Iz floof!!!
*nodnodnodnod* Iz awl floof! STN!
Heem nawt chunky — heem luks smoof ta mii. Nawt seez no bumps o chunks o nuffin. Heem bee beeg, butt (yepper heem butt two) nawt chunky …
Iffin ur not referin tu fud, den “chunky” akshully iz beli offensiv, u noes. Pursonalee, ai prefur usin “moar huggabol”, “fluffy”(not referin tu maisef, plz note – ai’m jus moar ruffle-abol) or “bigr boned”.
oh noes I not wanna offend anybody, how bout Miles is generously
proporshuned
wut’s rong wif chunky?
I usta love those! Wif teh raisins and teh nuts…
“Chunky fud” iz grate! Iz teh “chunky ppl” dat iz not so nys.
I iz only sayin dat bout dis kitteh
I can a has chunkeh kitteh 2
Ai pologyz 2K! Ai didna meen et tu offend u or aniifink, ai jus wanid 2 sai dat sum ppl cud b offendid bye dat deskripshun. Soree iffin ai maid u mad! :’-( Ur rite, though, Miles izza tad “poofy”.
oh no I not mad at all
{{{FluffyB}}}
Day y heem namez iz Miles — heem belliz iz meesuded in does units …
Doan worry, ai iz not offendid, jus….. advising!
Ai sez we call him “cuddly.”
i agee — iffin yous saa “chucky” da beli mite bee offendamated. an purr haps da buttz an mae bea da fighs two
weel mae bae nawt iffin you saa “Chucky” butt soitenly iffin yous saa Chunky … i suppose it pends uponna wut Chucky luks lik … *nods*
Ohai guis! Ai lubs yu, an ai fank yu so berry berry much fur teh hugs n fings awn last thred.
.
Aifinkso Eva’s blog be fiksed, yay! *dansdans* Seanya iz telling hosting peeps tehre will be teh bloodshed if it goes daon a fird tiem… they haz a hyooj confuzzled, parintlee, as tu hao WP reinstalled itself aftur being uninstalled. ai didded it maiself, an ai be tyred but nawt stoopy enuff tu install tu fings in same folder!!!
.
Seanya gunna trai tu upload teh bideos frum last nite tu YouTube. Pics will haz tu wayt til ai get home. Yu iz gunna splort soooooo much, we haz pics uv Big-Orinj-Floofeh-Angel sniffing Lil-Orinj-Floofeh-Eva!! An bideo uv her toddling rownd awn teh bed a lil bit.
.
Seanya iz emayoing teh camra-habing-purrsun agen tu see what be going awn.
.
Ai iz nomming homefries in teh cafeteria, an breeving slo an deep, an feeling less lyk wanting tu hide in corner an crai. Ai will haz teh helfier fuds when ai get hoam, onlee gots mafs aftur lunch then awl dun. Anxietee ishoos, ai haz tehm sumtiems… iz fanks tu yu guis an tu mai hero Seanya that ai nawt hab anxietee attack ur ennyfing tuday.
.
Teh Loki nommed a fird uv a can uv Fancee Feest wif a lil watter purr meel… had a can an a fird yesserday, no frowing up, a fird uv a can befoar ai leebed this moarning, an a fird uv a can fur lonsch. Him haz a hongree an we nawt want him to eet tu much tu fast an get sikk agen! Him iz duing gud!
.
Sooo… ai nawt haz such a freeking owt nao.
{{{{{{{{cheezfrenz}}}}}}}}
{{{p-k and fambly and littlol Eva}}}
Fancee Feest nebber fayls!
{{{{{prysma-kitteh}}}}} i knoz abowt teh ank siety isshhoos, i akshully seed a dr. tinyshrink for a cupple ob yeerz cawz ob teh panik attax. iz all better now – not goned away all teh way, but i knows how to deel wif it so i hardly notises it anymore. teh ank siety attax iz teh skaree an pleh!
Yay! I gnu yoo wuld be wurking things owt.
BTW, duz yoo say Eeeva or Ayva as her naym?
I sees teh naym Eva and I keeps singing sawngs in mah hed from Evita!
sush as: Eva bewayr of teh kittehs . . .
Don’t cry fur me Argentina
We sez it Eeeeva.
Her luvs tu be agenst throat when yu singy-song bebbeh-tawk. “Eeevvva, little Eeevvva Mew-Mew, bebbeh-Eeevva-gurl…”
Ai haz a silleh.
Yoo has a kittn luv. Is totally understandable – I has seen teh piks and videyos.
I still lykes to sing teh Evita sawngs for this kitteh. We kin sing them and say Eeeva, OK?
Rainbow Ohai, fur instance:
“I coem for teh Cheez-peeps! They need to adore me! So Christian Dior me!”
To be follered by teh sawng:
Anuther Gushifud in Anuther Bowl
And:
Teh Muggies Kept Rolling In . . and Out
(muggies is a wurd we uses at hoem to mean milk – I has seen hao this behbeh goes thru teh bottlols of milk!)
{{{{PK}}}}
Iz sawry yew had a bad day, butt (!) glad it be getting teh beddur. Iz so happee taht Loki feels beddur tew. Lukking forward to mai neckst Eva fix!
Akshully I finks Miles has a pistlol conseeled behin teh board. Hw will wait till teh prey is laffin at him for hidin-in-plane-site, then — *POW*.
Akshually, I think teh flag that pops out of teh pistlol says “BANG” not “POW”. Unless Miles boughted a new one since last time.
Akshually, r u shore it duz nawt sai ” PEW! PEW! PEW!”?
oh oh — kitteh rage — it beez worserer dan da rode ragez ifinkso!
That is why they donot lets kittehs has teh driving licenses.
*nods nods* yep I kin seez dat — da kitteh havin sum rode ragez — dat wood bee berry berry awl full isoitenlyfinkso
oh, i fotted it wuz becawz tehm kant reech teh pedals an see owt teh frunt winodw at teh same time.
I thot it was bacause tehy spits hareballs at teh otter drivers!
This is a skill I wud liek to has sometimes, meself.
Didn’t teh bois teech u dis in grade 5?
I musta mist that class!
.
I wud be liek Rose on teh Titanic… *drooly-spit*
Dey donot? Boy, is dat kitteh in trubblol wehn he gets home wiv mai car.
oh, i tryed to fink ob sumfin funny to say, but ifinkso i yoozed up all my funneez making dis LOL (at leest i fink its funnee):
)
mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=3767161
(yes, dis iz shameless self-promoshun
but reely, i kan only fink ob abowt wun funny fing a week.
Ai bolunteer tu du taht job!
.
.
.
Nawt kwalifaid? *sigh*
sorry, miss p-k, yoo haz to be a kitteh to qwalifying for dis pozishun. just wanting to be a kitteh duznt cownt.
wut times GP comes owt tsa pway? Der beez a cyootie piggeh in da lolgoggies place … dat widdol babbeh piggeh bee cuddlin wif a mama goggie whose adoptamated heem.
i dont kno, him livs in TTI so teh time iz diffrent, an sumtimes him haz teh RLS. prolly later in teh day.
burfday fairy iz heer to say HAPPEE BURFDAY to Cmonkeee an Sakee an all teh ovver cheezfrenz, lolfrenz, noofrenz, an lurkurfrenz hoo haz tehr burfday today!!! today i haz bringed teh favrite fudjy burfday caeks, an also yello butter caek wif krunchy topping, wippy kreem, an fresh stawrberreez!! an frootsytootsy party punch, noyzemakers, an a bobbing for troldollz game!! an goodie bags filld wif bownsy balls taht lite up wen tehy bownse, sparkly raynbow slinkies, bublolgumz, an puffy troldoll stikkers wif googly eyes an floofy hair!! an a big swish ob teh burfday wand to maek all yor burfday wishes com troo!
———-***¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭****
yay! fank u burfday fairy! *noms peece uv yello budder caik, taiks nozymaiker an bownsy bawl*
.
bownse fweep!
bownse fweep!
bownsebownsebownse fweepfweepfweeeeeeeep!
sumwun sed yello caek?
*luuks hoepful*
yes, tehr iz yello caek!! iz taht yor favrit?
Happy burfday Sakee an Cmonkeee an ennybuddy else hoo has a burfday today! Ai can has wun ob dem raynbow slinkies? Is nawt my burfday, but it will be one day.
yess yoo kan!! teh goodie bags are for all teh gestses, liek party favers
help yorself!
Wowzer! Fankies! slinkslinkslinkslinkslinkslinkslinkslink
*climbs back up stairs*
slinkslinkslinkslinkslinkslinkslinkslink
Repeat
Mebbe kitteh’s sport shuld be fencing, rather than stalking.
*givs self giggle-fits*
Ohai, aym owt here on yor Internets kwakkin mahself up!
*snerk* Ai lieks it, gremlin!
Ohai, nightshayde – I lykes yor springy noo luk! Itz verreh . . . um, springy!
I C U
Aym on dayet, stalkin’ mai selry.
Hopefully it will run awai wiv a kwickness. Sellery – pleh.
When vejitables turns against us:
Sellery escayps, tonite on teh noos at elebenty.
That’s my cat
monorail cat hits the speedbumps of life
itz an innersting correlashun wif RL, that tehy seem to hurt more teh faster u is going…
but since this kitteh is at ded stop, he shud be ok.
Oh Miles. *lol*
There are hundreds of ways to butcher grammar in a lol caption. This is one of them.
Miles is the worst predator ever; the mice can see him yards away.
U maen dey c him MILES awey.
zomg we haz a tucseedo kitteh name Milez too!
So funny. I has 2 cats. Theys are vry gud at hnting.
Mehbeh he shud luz sum faht….