
Listen, Don’t freak out, but I may haz broken Jesus.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: DanielleJane
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Listen, Don’t freak out, but I may haz broken Jesus.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: DanielleJane
wuh woh. better repaint
kitteh herd da Sernom on da mount, thotted he herd “blessed are da piecemakers” so… here we can has literul transmalashuns…
LOL, both your posts MaryOS!
Ohai, kin I interrupt this thred to mayk a nouns-mint.
PARTY IN TEH MU MEDDOW! YOR INVITED!
Date: Munday, March 23
Time: noon lol Eastern US time (6 am cheez-time)
Gest of honor: Princess Mu (itz her burthday!)
Selection of noms provided by: NOM! plus sordid speshul shwimps and fancee breds
Coem wun, coem awl! Teh bulbs Princess Mu and I planted in teh meddow in teh fall shuld be in full bloom – teh meddow shuld be gorjus! Ther will be mush rejoycing on what will be wun of teh verreh klose to nawt-sekkund days of spring!
Feel free to stawp by and say hello and “pass a gud tyme” wit frenz. Yor welkum to bring yor hart-petz alawng & let them owt of yor hart for a whyl to frolik and sillybrayt wit us. We will be shor to provyde a nyce selekshun uf treets and toys for teh anymals.
Kthxbai!
conga conga partay… conga conga partay….
Conga rats Mary fur tawp ov the heap!
fang-you princessmu. happi burfdae in advance, i don’t finkso i can be
hear maundaymaunday…can’t trust dat dae….♪
…you chipp’d da paint
and da agony of defeets! where dey be?
Habs been defeeted.
O hai, Romeow. Did u see teh collection of all teh peeps in their St. Paddy’s dAy greeneries? Click my name then u’ll see teh link.
I didn’t kno.
Fank yew fur inclueding meh!
I’z in teh process ov taeking mah hat off.
Is teh very jaunty, ur hat.
I is teh happy to inclood anybuddy who dresses up their avatar for a occasion.
Sew, wen iz LCB gowing tu get a duzzen bebeh kittehs? I noes yu wants tu.
I would need to hire a nanny for that many bebbeh kittehs.
Unless…
Hay, GP! U likes teh bebbeh kittehs, rite? U innerested in a promotion?
Doen worri about de feetz, wat about da paws?
Nommed?
yew thinner, yew.
*faysepaw*
JEEZ, Ms. Mary. Just…JEEZ.
An ar own deer maryOspockn demon straits taht she iz teh best ov the best ov us!
.
Fur yoo: @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@
plus elebenty!!
aw, Janet, yew mek me
you’re teh bestest
Kitteh eated teh King Cake, aifinkso!
Pore owld King Cole. An’ he was such a merri owld sowl.
plz don’t tell ceeling cat, k??
I can has forgibness?
possiblee. there may be a sakrifice rekwired.
Or a shrubbery…
I not hab shrubbery. but I du hab a herring, which I uzed tu cut down teh tallest tree in teh forrest.
*hands skwirrlgrrl a toy lamb*
ooo sawft!!!
ur sacrafise is acceptabul.
go now and has gushifuds.
Does we dare does a LBT version of teh Biblol?
Teh miraclol of teh loafs and teh fishies would be a supersized Filet-o-Fish sammich, fr’example.
And we would have the Sermon on the Grassy Knoll…
Not so much a Sermon as a Friendly Chat.
Frendly Chat wiv Sadly Disapoynted obertoens for the Furst Ledder to teh Trolls, in teh Eppissle ob teh Apossles – or mebbe taht shud be teh odder wai rownd….
Sry, no Epissles. Stamps too expensive. We just send a e-mail to teh Romans and they can forward it to teh Corinthians and so forth.
Better yet, we’ll just post it on our blog.
from woark – use somwun elses broadband…
Or go to teh libarry to send it.
an hoepflee dey hav RRS-feed on de blog… oar dey woant noe bout it…
and there wudn’t be 12 apossles, but elebenty… just coz that’s a nise round number…
Agreed…
Couldn’t we find half-a-elebenty guise wif split personalities?
ooh, and then we can tell them that we paid teh otter personallitee! will cut WAY down on overhed!
*pins a LBT Hero medal on skwirrl*
LBT??
Ur kidding, rite?
Low Budget Theeater
*rips medlol offa skwirrl*
*calls paramedix*
oh! never mind! and fangs!!
HAY!
*snatchez medlol back*
I’m lukkey to remember what my name wuz 6 hours ago!
And u can’t take that bak wifout teh consent of teh committed, and tehy is all asleep now, STN!
Ohai Skwirrl. Didju cee down teh thred U can singz Oprah? Butt U gotta hurree, ai wroted awn teh czechs tu gib U teh chans.
Ohai skwirrlgrrl! Ur up laet!
An the hole wawking on wawter episode cud be a stroll akross a puddle…
Nd turnink teh watur into whien? Turnink watur into sodee watur wib sum redd fud kolorink.
Pleezsee:
http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page
Dat is teh AWESOME!
Um, insted of red fud colorings, let’s use teh lefted over green fuds colorings from St. Patrick’s Day, ‘k?
Yah, ebben moar betturer.
Nd Noah’s Ark? Noah’s roeboat. Wib tew of ebbery kolored Mai Litlol Ponee
and Giving Sight to a Man Blind since Birth cud be gibing a pair ob old sunglassis tu man narrowing eyes tu sun since lonch?
Ok, ‘sept teh old sunglasses is missing one lenz, so man will still has to narrow one eye.
Teh Ten Kommandermints? Wun kommandermint writed on teh bak ov a postij stamp.
Lotz wife will luking a skance adn turning intu a salt shaker.
Adim nd Eev will be maeded owt of lego.
Teh Gardin of Eeden – a rubbur plant nd sum plastik floewers.
an a IKEA plushi snaek an a papie-macher aplol – no – maek dat a cut owt aplol from an aplol-stoar advert…
Nd Moesis wil wandur raownd a sandpit fur 40 minits.
an de burning bush will be a few drye straws from last years grass…
No…no…LitterBox…
Teh partink of teh Redd See – a man wib a stroaw blowink bublols in a glass of teh soddee watur wib teh gween kolorink.
And then all of Pharoah’s plastic army mens get slightly damp.
Jophus nd his teknikolor dweencoat? a tai-dai t-shirt.
Jonah? Had his toes nibbloled on a little bit by minnows.
Yew meen see monkees, doantchew?
*Hoeps LCB duzzint notyse mai shaemlis trai at getink a LBT Hero medil*
Well, we rly only has teh one medlol. Is rly a choclate coin lefted over from teh December holidays. U can arm-ressel teh skwirrl for it mabye.
*wobbilee chin nd damp eyez*
Iz otay, seh kin haev it…
Well, donot tell anyones, but here. U can has this Gud Conducts medlol I was saving for GP. It’s not like he was gonna get it anytimes soon.
Oh fankies LCB, ai wuz wurried ai waz beeink tew suttil.
It is teh late at nite here and I is a little sleepy, so u has to use teh extry-non-suttil sledgehammer on me.
Yah, nd teh egstreemlee suttil brik.
Kimkiwi, LBTGKM*
*Low Budjit Theeatur Gud Konduckt Meddil
Wawking on wawter: freez teh stuff furst, tehn iz eezee. (Oar sneek in2 lokul rink, if dere iz wun.) Jess doan slippy-slyd. Gotz blaydz? Oar goff shuze? Futbol cleetz? Dey kin he’p.
Juss a sujeschun….
Ack! Filet-o-fish! I has had that McD cummercial runnin throo mah hed for days! “Gimme that filet-o-fish; give me back that fish.” – wit teh fish on teh wall singin to teh 2 guise . . .
Obsession with a filet-o-fish. I has it.
* snerk *
MAJOR eerwurm,but still makes me giggol!
I fink dat would be gud. Wii cud put disclaimer fore da tee-ree-ohh
ell-ellz dat diz iz nawt disrespecting, butt (snerk) owt ob lub and iff eazily ofended to pleez to wait for nex frend.
Aifinkso, ai seen one, berry funnee. Nau dohn no ware waz.
Dat is, a LOLspeek baibul. Wiff guy on bicicle makin uniburs
It wuzn’t mai fawlt tho
But don’t worry fur I iz deh ceiling cat
HEEL!!
I fink he needz moar dan heelz.
I should hope so, dan heelz are thick, rough and callused. and kinda manky truth be told…….been a long day.
manky??
Sumfing liek hinky?
Manky iz a purrficklee gud werd in TTI – meenz juss wat it sowndz liek. sorta durty and wore owt.
I read muches, from both sides of the pond. *shrugs* no tellin’ where it’ll show.
dats otay – CC will fiks him!!!
yesh, kitteh, just wait til Eastre and victory will conquer the de-feeting.
Pray for crazy glue!
Or jus glue. Iz alreddy got teh crazy…
Oh noes!! Now he gonna be cross wif you!!!!
*heddesk*
I be watchin’ for da lightening now to strikes meh down…dat was bad…I pologize to mah Nazarene tent revival grandpa for dat one!!
him brokded me!!! *splort*
Oh, deer jebus!!! ub splorted!!
*wewoo wee woo!!
I drivin deh CCC!!!
Luk at awl deh braynez splortinged awl ober!! i sweeping dem up intu a nise pile and skuping it up wif deh dusty pan. rinseing deh braynez off in sum pritty sparklee sham paynez…
* ﬞ ° ▒ ©͙ ͒ ○ ∞ ░ * ﬞ ° ▒ ©͙ ͒ ○ ∞ ░* ﬞ ° ▒ ©͙ ͒ ○ ∞ ░
oooooo bublyeee…..
okay, now i just tuk deh braynez bak in deh braynial cabity and puting on a nice noo CHRG…. dis wun haz …. um…. ah…. wut deh hek?….. i finkso dese b eels on it….. *mutterz* hoo deh hek is duing deh drawingz? lukz like sumfing mai 3 yr old grandsun wud drawing…. mebbee he did??..
Ok, now u just snugglol intu dis floofee blankee and sip deh skotch. oh, yes. kan’t fergit deh chokklit possum tu nomming.
Oh my! Teh cween has patched up jebus and puttinged a CHRG on heem! And I thot I had seen justabowt everything on ICHC. Oh my paws and whiskurs! *throws paws in teh ayr*
I forgot to add – Hallelujah! And everybody sed . . . amen.
Adn Anom!!
Anom!
Shud be Akitteh. I haz a confused – whoooo borked whoooo.
*has a confused*
Teh kitteh looks like my Liam and teh Jesus looks like a pencil-topper I has. But… but… teh floor doesnot look like any of my floors.
Liam! Whut does you does and whare does u goes when I is not at home?
at mai haus aifinks…
Does u libs on teh same side of teh street as us? Liam is not allowed to cross teh street by hisself.
you’re not gonna belief dis, but that riiiiiillllllllly looks like the tile in the entryway to da moo sick stoodio at teh end 0 my haus….
*cue twilite zone moo sik*
So whut ur saying is that Liam and Jesus is spending times at Ant Mary’s house?
I guess that’s ok. I only telled Liam he is not allowed to cross teh street. I never said nothing about crossing state lines.
Dis bees rilly weerd. Teh kitteh lookz jus liek mai Andy, an dat’s almoas exakly mai kitshin floor. But we doan has dat figureen.
.
???
Liam mustav brort it ober…
Nawt ennymoar, ennyways!
We’re in yor internets, invading yor kitchins and libbin rooms . . .
An he luks a LOT laik mai Barney!
Check out teh first coupla pics on my profile; I tooked pics of Liam wif our Jesus.
I also finded a pic of Esme that I taked at teh end of January. Is a very nice pic of her in her sunbeem.
u corrects ur mistakes wif jesus??
Not always. Sometimes I uses teh Holy Wite-Out.
*BIF* Holy Wite-Out, Batman! Its a mistake!
yup. betcha hecan makes dem whiter dan snow.
aifink hims had the halps of quantum kitteh.
Ware didja cum furm?
Ware didja go?
Ware didja cum frum, Liam-Jo?
*mouth-harp solo*
U plaided dat berree gud! ai nawt no u cud plai mouf harp tuu!! U sher be talented!
Well, I hadda put it in somebuddy else’s mouth, but thx!
*takez harp owt uv mouf.
*keepz wun harp string.
Dey makez essellent dental floss.
Err…dey be maede a metal, aifinkso! U floss teef wid mettel bar?
uh ohz
A fibe wae ty. Ai am in awww. Danses, drinkies and da tye bootiqe.
Wat everione wats for sillibrashuns???
Bred n fishees!
Bred teh fishees and deep fries tehm!
Iz gud idea, loaves, fishes an whine for al.
Hek wit Al, he kan git hiz own…
Always preface bad news with “Don’t freak out.”
But they freak out annyways. *sigh*
When Maus Daughter calls from college, and the first words are “Daddy, can I ask you a question?”, I instantly wonder “How much is this going to cost?”…
My clue is always…Mom, hear me out before you say anything…..oy vey, dats always a bad one wen I heer dat first.
Wen Ai cawld form collidge mai Daddeh’s furst werds wer awlwais; Oh Hello; Ai’ll get yur Mummeh!
wen my boi calld frum kollij at elebenty at nite an sed “i didnt akshuly witness any ob dis” i knowd i prolly didn’t want to heering it. him not in trubble, himz roomate an teh roommaets frenz drinked very much adult bevrijes an stolded teh dorenob ob teh room. oh well, at leest taht roomaet wuznt a psyko.
Iz kina lik U wantz da gud knews or da badd knews. Ai doan wantz da badd knews eber – onli da gud knews or gud-shi fuds.
I used tew call hoam and start conbersayshuns wif:
“Nawt second, I’z OK. But…”
*Snerk* Taht wus mai brudder, dyurin teh rugbee seesun; “Ai’s owt ob hors piddle nao…
Tahts whut mai bigboikitteh sez. Awlsew, sez “kin we tawk?”. Naow, hooz sun sez “kin we tawk?” Weerd
Parrothead…Oh Parrothead…R U here Parrothead??????? Ihaz da corned beef corning reskipee fore U (or aniones else). Where are U Parrothead………..
This pic should be removed ;/.
It’s offensive ;(
Lissen, dun freek owt… but but but aifinkso Mick has got owt ob teh Londree rumm agen…
Gib hims shelter.
I’ll be his Factory Girl!!!!
He’s gonna knead eet wen LCB seas whut he has dun tu hurr libbing ruum!
.
O, teh hyooge manatee!
And just WHOM was sposed to be making sure Mick didnot get outta teh londree room in teh first place, hmmm?
“I’ll make sure he stays in there, LCB” u sed
“I will keep my eyes on him evry minnit, LCB” u sed
“I won’t leeve him unsoopervises while I go to teh stoar to stock up on pork scratchings, LCB” u sed
“I’ll pay yu gud munnies, GP” u sed
“Yu’ll LUBB bean a Phlonquais, GP” u sed
“Mick wheel be well behabed, GP” u sed
.
Lies! AWL LIES!
Mick gotted a huge manatee intu LCBz libbing ruum???
..
Kin I see??
.
I gib u a munnee?? u gibbing tourz???
umm… yesh! uh huh! taht’s whut happened… uh huh, yesh…
.
Nao, yu nose hao shy hyooge manatees kin be so iffn yu nawt seas won adn yu ownlee seas Mick in leeza’s OLU’s cubbered in extry strawng aunti wrinklol creem, streeched owt onna cowch drinking beer, is nawt mai fault. Otay?
*buyz tikkit, tourz LCBz libbing ruum
.
*stopz bai soovenear stand and gitz a bumpr stikker dat sez:
I saw deh HYOOOOOOGE manatee at LCBz!!
U knoes, for a phlonquais whut complanes about not earning enuff moneys, u sure does has a way to line ur pokkets.
* nod nod * ai wus tort bai teh best.
.
Well, teh nawt therd best.
.
Well, yu.
*hedbats piggeh*
I has TOLLED u those ur Micks unnerwares!
And WHY wud u lok him in teh laundrey room when we (meaning I is having so much trubble wif him pilfering my unmenshunalbes?? Hm? HMMM???
Lissen… whut yu adn Mick gets up tu in yur unnerware swappin partees is up tu yu! Ai du NAWT want tu no bowt eet!
.
* gets out Tom & Jerry bruum agen *
* bat bat bat bat bat bat bat bat bat *
*puts on valkyree helmit*
Ooh this luks good on meh!
Wif my blonde hares and all!
*wonders if she cud sing oprah*
* cawls Oprah awn teh fones *
Ai haz teh client dat iz teh skwirrl in teh valkyree helmit. Hurz wantz tu sing U?
Hurz can? HOAW MANNEE MUNNEEZ!!!!!
Duz U taek teh czechs? U duz. gud.
* writez awn teh czech, maylols himz tu Oprah *
U can singz Oprah butt *snickur* doit kwik before teh czech bounsees.
*lukz owt deh window and seez a czech bownsing up adn down.
Do yoo eber feel just a littlol bit laik “Alice in Wunderland” heer??
Only a liddlol bit???
No, I feelz a lot like Alice…. dehre b Mad Hatterz and awl sortz uv uzzer strange and unbeleebablol things heer.
And so u hasn’t forgetted that a certain persentage of ur take goes to teh house, rite?
RITE???
Sry, whut? Yu has tu speek intu mai gud eer…
How does I know which is ur gud eer unless Leeza tastes them both for me first?
..but no sympathy
Pleezed to meet ya.
O noooooooooo! Jebus! speek tew meh Jebus!!
See how it raining outside? Yu maded Jebsus cry.
Lols!!!!! *wispurs* Yoo weren’t razed Catlik by enny chance, were yoo?
*whispurrs bak* I be Southern Baptist on one side an fire an brimstone Nazarene on da other side…I tinks must end up wif da same stuff, yesh? I member us kids cryin in da pews bein so scared wen my Poppy would be preachin…
Kitteh needs to say 5 Hail Marys & 10 Our Fathers to make up for this!
Oh noes…I remember wen I first got saved…dey tellin me dat now I be carrying Jesus in my heart and he can sees everyting I doin…I was so nervous in da bafroom dat I be makin small talk wif Jesus in da bafroom so he not knowin wat I be doin in der!!! ( I wuz 10….) lols!!!
Ai wuz raised Catlik….the baffroom thing used to bother me,too !!
I glad it not only meh!!
Aihopeso, sumune tehlz ya Jesus’s daddy invented deh hole batroom fing.
nah from a more rural district, raised cow-lick.
.
Brylcreem….”a little dab’ll do ya”, what a contemptable lie.
Da Lord shall ruminate on dis.
cud ya?
Not mii – cudn’t stomik it.
That shud be stomikS …yesh…yesh…
I was gonna say “which one?”
GMTA…afinkso…
My dad says that all the time…”a little dab’ll do ya!”
He uses Score,though…gotta control the comb-over!
dis luukin sadlee familyar tew meh, ai haz a beyewtiful Nativity seen dat mai mahm maid inna ceramics class, ai noked wun uv teh wize men awn teh flor an he borked inno peeces. ai mostlee glued him bak togevver but naow hee haz a whole in hiz bak an haz tew stand wif hiz bak gainst teh wal sew it duzzent sho.
Soundz like deh wize man b frum wall street…..himz borkt adn himz bakz aginst deh wall….
LOL!!!!
I uzed to steel teh babeh Jebus frum mah frend’s mangie seen, and leed teh inappropriate babeh Jebus substituters alldetyme. She hayted me at Cripesmas.
@@@@@
I has some tacky naybors dat has a nativity were dey has da baby Jesus in a manger, an dey has a lite inside so da baby Jesus be blinkin on an off like a diner sign!!
UGGGGGGGGG!!!!!
Wib awl dat gold, Jesus shud be abul tu pay teh elektricity bill, afinkso. Adn get teh lites fixed. Adn bribe poly tishuns to ban stoopid ugli takky stuffs being sold tu stoopid ugli takky goggie-lubbing nay bores.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahahaha. . . . .*fawls off chair laffing*
Maybee yoo cud sew him a littlol cloak???
*luks at broked jesus*
*luks at googie*
What did YOU do?!?!
WWGoggieD?
of course, this is uttered JUST as the hooman enters the room.
A dramatic tear would seal the googie’s fate.
Well, kitteh duz hab an unyun kitteh stowl urlier. A quick use ob poyntee ends adn dramtic teers can be aranjed.
I Told</B? you it was a lion and to get back in the car!!!
Win!
“Jebus saved the other guys from the lions” you said.
“So we can stay outside of the car” you said.
hey tehr, heerz teh burfday fairy to wish a big HAPPEE BURFDAY to GreenBoss an iloveducks an evreewun else hoo haz tehr burfday today!! an taht loonymommy pursun haz askded me to gib a very spesul burfday greeting to hur yunger boi Big A hoo iz 13 yeerz old today!! if yoo wants a speshul burfday showt-owt to sumwun speshul, like yor child or yor parint or yor sig ovver or yor bff, send me a e-mael at burfdayfairy @ gmail.com (plz to be taking owt teh spaces) or be my frend an leeve me a messij on my profile! today we haz hommaed fudjy burfday caeks (loonymommy haz bin helping owt in teh kitchens, sez hur boi ekspeks a caek tonite) an red velvit caek!! along wif fizzy an not-fizzy frooty punch (loonymommy sez her boi duznt liek teh fizzy kind), an a life-size game ob wack-a-trol!! along wif goodie bags stuffed wif bownsy ballz taht lite up wen tehy bownse, ittybitty sekrit diyareez wif sekrit dekoder rings so yoo kan riting yor sekrits in sekrit kode, mix-n-match lego rasekar models wif enjins taht wind up wen yoo pull tehm bak, starburstses an tootsy rollz (lm’s boi’z favrit kandeez), an puffy bebbeh zombie stikkers wif googly eyes!! an a big swish ob teh burfday wand for making all yor wishes com troo!
———-***¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭****
*runz tu furst in line at deh Wak-aTroll.
.
*Grabz wakker and takez a big swing!!
.
WAK!!!!
.
Oh man, dat feelz sooooooo gud tu wak a troll!!!
OUCHIE
Aifinkso ai go hied inna swamp naow
*runswifakwiknesstuhiedinnawetstinkeeswamp*
Oh, noez, I dinn’t meening tu wakking u, Troll E Troll. I fot it wuz a nuzzer troll i b wakking. sry.
.
*offerz Troll E Troll a cookie.
Heer, haz a chokklit chip cookiee… itz deh soft and chewy kind.
But Himz sed taek eet dis is mai bodee
donut wurry kitteh, in 3 dayz him gets bak up agin all fixded.
3 daze? But… but… my hoomins will be home today at elebenty-thirty o’clock!
Sew keep mobing teh hands ob teh clok backwards, sew iz neber elebenty-thirty o’clock.
They is digital clocks. They no has hands. Only fingers.
getz a goggie tu blaem it awn.
Aifink u haz until April 12th dis yeer — den Jebus will gettin up awl by hizself (wif a liddul halp frum a sertin Bunneh).
I gets ryze wif a liddlol halp frum my frenz…
GMTA!
Dat kitty goin’ straight to basement!
No problum; Dat ornj kitteh bee teh januwine Ceiling Cat…hee in charj ub hoo goze to Basement (hee teh wun wot maid it fur teh bad peeps – *shrugs*), and hee teh wun hoo desided to bork Jeebus in furst plaice.
End ub surmun. Jest thot Ai’d frow dat inn…
Bakk 2 r orijunally skejuld programmers nao.
it’s ok, he was broken for our transgressions
lol dis r shud b:
o hai,
plox dun b mad
but i r thunk i haz
brokd da jesuz
WOW. Dis beez uh graet fred aifinkso. Yew guise so clebber. LOL meny tiemz.
@#$!*!sh!9!009! wat u j00?
ps it looks like my cat
Awwww! ;17
LIEK WOA! LULZ HES SO KUTE :3
I have that exact pencil topper!!!
yeah, an atheist cat!
OH NOEZ HE KILLDED JESUS!! XD
Hahahahaha.
I have those Band-Aids.
how cool lol tis funny
:O Mah frend haz tat same raser on his pensil