
Breaking News – BODYGUARD CAT TAKES BULLET FOR MONORAIL CAT
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: chaddarooch
-
-
Copy & paste this:
Click to see All Kittehs | Captions Only | Videos Only
« Previous Oh Noz!! | New pet ferret Next »

Breaking News – BODYGUARD CAT TAKES BULLET FOR MONORAIL CAT
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: chaddarooch
Jazz Hands!
concratshulayshuns awn solo nawt-sekkund! wut u liek foar deh sillybrashuns?
No more work today?
um… shore… heer ya goe… goe awn hoem……. ai’ll cubbur foar ya!
Yeah,shore…we’ll cubber for u…
** begins to hit buttons randomly **
Uh,oops…….
wer’s teh enny kee? it sais tew hit enny kee tew kontinyuu…
Ohai eeck! Pleez tu nawt be hittin buddons randomly, mai sillee dotter did dat awn hur wowshinee gnu celliefone an now ai gotta take it tu the store an git gnu SIM card. Fur $29.00.
wow PH sim cardz is cheep wer u be livin’ ours iz lyk 50 cause …wel.. i washed mynez…in da …wahin mashieen adn had ta gets new phone adn simcard
Mai sillee huzbing did dat tu! Wif hiz brannew fone, ov coarse.
Aifinkso teh tutch screen iz nawt sew gud fing, akshalee.
lol i don lyk tuch screen i alwayz hit da wrung kee…oh welli hadda wait for too munffz fur a new won adn know i haz a LG Shine iz VRI purrrrtiful
Huzbing didz teh washing?
Nao, dat IZ braking nooz!
Ai mayke him wash hiz own stinkee wurk close. He’s nawt allowed to wash mai or mai dotter’s stuff, tho. He wunce deesided he wud du laundree, cuz ai yewz tu mush wadder, du too small loads, etc. He ruined about a hunnerd dollars wurf ov stuff. Sew den he shutted up. An ai let him live.
U iz teh generous considering hims prolly nawt hab nine libes – butts needz dem.
uhm… missos parrot… dats wut dem cawls tac-tics…
$50 iz $29 plus $21 “ur doin et rong, we LOL at u” taksus.
FTW!!! Elebenty@@@@@@@@@!
Just don’t type rm * -r
wat happinz den cuse, ifin u tell mi notz to datz da firss ting i do
*triz ta hold bak, triz ta hold BAK*
Is Unix for delete all files in all subdirectories. It’s something you tell a n00b that you don’t like very much to do…
hmm…ebil berri ebil….fankies fur da advise…
iz alwayz open fur da hakin adn da destrotoin adn da messin up of da compooter…i know bout ebry cook adn naniee in moss computters..but i iz wurkin on da hakin skillz now
i hassa go eets da luchiees *chicken adn stuffin’ lyke on GMA dis mornin’* CYA ebreebodee
** considers shutting down the entire box company **
** BWAAAHAAAHHAAAHHAAAA **
da ebil force is strong wiffin you mai frend
*joinz in da ebil laff*
*MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA*
I wunst sent a arrogant noob a nonymus instant msg sayin “DO NOT MOVE! SECURITY HAS BEEN NOTIFIED!” den I wented about my morning figgurin dat I dun a mynd mess. At lunsh tyme I walked by his desk and he wuz just sitting there. I ax wuts up? He he hasta sit there until security arribes an he hopes they gits here soon, he hadda go pee.
Exxxxxxxcellennnnnnnt…
Shoodn’t Ebil Maus b da wun kawmintin awn ebil deedz, n nawt regler Maus?
Ohai Aahz – so gud 2 see u agane! We haz mist u!
i dont eben wurry bout switchin i hassa ebil twin butt (!) i iz it den i juss change bck ta happitayle Raindrop
:twisted 
lyke muas tolded mi a week or so bck da ebil forc is STRONG in dis won
Aaaahhh! It’s Aahz!
Did u bring urself back to lifes like u brang me and mom21kitteh?
oops dat shuld be
Ohai LCB! Whale, sorta — I brotted maisef bak FRUM lyf. Lyf flung uh buncha da tuff stuffz at me n mai XYL, so it b nys to b gittin awai frum it uh liddul bit…
.
Plus its teh grate 2 b bak wif mai cheezfrinz!
.
N Ohai annipuss! Gud 2 B C N U agin 2!!
XYL? Does that mean you, um, like ham?
butt (!) iz kinda fun tew wawtch teh luuk awn teh sysadmin’s fayce…
=:-0
Unless the SysOp told YOU to do it ’cause he’s PO’ed at you. I, of course, have never instructed someone to do this. Nope. Never.
Well, hardly ever.
ummm…hhmmm… r u surz aboud dat Maus … i hassa plolygraff tess (iz VRI prepard to be in da Criminalistics business) wuld u be willin to take it…ok relly gotsa go now bye!
oh adn be preprd to takez it wen i cumz bak lol JK
Uh,huh…
** looks askanse at Maus **
OOOH Yuu gotsta beez nicee and happytayl wiffs teh sysadmins! Mai husbink iz a sysadmin. Wen himz has a grumpies days himz komes hom an beez grumpies to mee tuu!!!
Yess. An pleez tu alwayz be happitail wif da deskytop pea cee tech. wWe can be an extreemly purry an helpful bunch, but wen pplz haz grumpeez at us an blaimz us for a) stoopy thingz the stoopy compooter did, or b) stoopy thingz DEY did to da stoopy compooter–DAT beez wut makes our poynty enz come owt. Plus if yoo iz happitail wif us we tellz yoo sneeky compootersekritz, lyke “da printer in ruum C does not haz printyquota” oar “iffen yoo turn dis program off, it maken dat proagram go FASSTER.” Lyke maintinininience pplz and admininininstraitiv assistint pplz, is VERRY gud to bee nyse too deskytop tecks.
Which wun iz teh N-E key?
juss pretendz yu iz onda vacatuns adn da breeze adn da beach adn da sun adn all dat adn yu culd get away fur ’bout tree secundz till ur boss walkz by adn sayz “stop daidremein around adn getz to WURK alredy!!1!!!” lol
umm… eeck… wuz dat da delete all filez buttun?
wut daytuhbayz? wus dere a daytuhbayz heer? ummm.. sry.
Congrats on teh singularity nawt sekkond dere mausyface…
Gotta watch out fer the event horizon, aifinkso…
Aifinkso two. Speshully teh partz whare teh Sam Neill showen hims butt.
luuks lyke maus beeted us wuns again, annipuss!
conga-mauses!
Conga rats, Maus!
Wii hadz teh same thot…. prolly cuz on a faisebuk kuiz, et sayd Ai’s a mouse!
Shud Ai bees wurried?
Not at all. Mauses are the most superiorest creeture on teh Earth!
Teh kittehs wuld like to speek wif u,Mr.Superior.
Yes, O insignificant little unsuperior critter?
Do not use that tone with ME,mister…
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!
I don’t want to talk to you no more, you wiper of other peoples bottoms. I unclog my nose at you. I fart in your general direction…
:8O:
failure tu emoticate..soori
Yu nawt need teh : arownd it fur teh charakters… just if yu use teh wurds.
thnx PK! mine stuffi heed makez mi stuupi sumtimez..afinkso iz lak uf oxigen
Still? Ohnoes… yu nawt gotted better, oar yu haz a gnu sikk? {{{3km}}}
Sikk gnuz? dat cud bee messy.
Kumz bak n I will tawnt U uh sekkund tym…
oh, teh brayveree! oh, teh huje manatee!
*swim swim swim gasp pant gasp pant*
♫ Heeeere I come, to save the dayyyyy♫
Whoops, too late, brave kitty beat me to it!
Hey, it’s a long swim from the Carribean you know!
U gets a huge G fur Gratness!
Sakryfishul kitteh
Jazz hands!
wile alzo displayin grate uze uv jazz paws!
ai r suspectin taht lotz uv uz r fans uv teh jazz handz, hee hee!
poyntee enz tew teh reskyuu!
Ai got u cubberd
Neber leebe ur wingpaw.
sekrit servise kitteh in akshion
NOOOEEESSS !!!
Get DOWN Monorail cat !!!
Teh bodyguard….
And Aye-aye-aye-aye-aye…will allus lurv yoooooooouuuuuuuuu….
@@@@@!!!
you tuk da wurdz rite outah mah mouf.
Did yu at leest wiep dem awf nawt-sekkund??
Cat-grat-ulashun on nawt second (right noew). Da Maus iz da soopr mice.
dis kitteh luks aliddle to fatz ta be jumpin DAT far…
Hims nawt fatz, heez floofy. :p
That’s his boddy armors.
As far as u knoes.
ohai LCB how r u todai?
O hai. I is teh ok, how u is?
gudd i iz tired thoug … adn lyke moss people here i wuld raffer not be wurkin’ (skewl ob corse)
Iz it jus me,or duz kitteh luk liek he has Groucho Marx eyebrows ??
And Betty Davis eyes?
Oh,THANKS for the eerworm !!
** grumble,grumble **
Gene Kelleh, Fred Asstare
Ginger Kitteh, danse onna air…
Yu haz teh berry sty-lish, in-voag hat, Romeow.
I striked a pose.
Eeck, u has teh Groucho eyebrows?
Here, u can borry my tweezifiers. Teh ones maded by Black & Decker.
O heck. Nevermind that. Here, has my weedwackifier.
BUZZZZZZZ….
the weedwackifier reely hurts….
But u look so much moar better now.
Um, let me just apply this tournikette to ur neck…
Hey….that’s my elbow!
Ehnh. That’s close enough for jazzhans.
Um,then,fanks…I guess.
Has u collected lots uv monies for the rescue groop ???
We has collectified three hunnert and forty moneys so far!
If peeps want to donate a money to teh LCB’s Esme Memorial Fund, click on my bloo name then click teh first link under “My Sites”. Teh moneys go to teh shelter where I gotted my Esme and her kitteh frenz Jethro and Liam.
Ai has a sowree ai nawt has teh munnies tu add tu it.
Just teh gud wishiz, which nawt keep kittehs fed. But ai haz a hyooj prowd uv teh peeps whu donated. Yu guis be ten AWSUM!
U is teh eggsempt, PK, because u works directly wif teh animlols.
Ur time and ur good works is a perfectly good substitoot for moneys.
i wuld TOTALLY sendz da moniees…if i madez da moniees…
i relly support da animlol hostiplol adn shelterz adn sitez lyke da won wiff Esme,Jethro adn Liam butt (!) i dont hav moniess to give
srry ..
*sendz da happie thouts to LCB*
ps. i LOVE the name Jethro by the way
Is ok. U can halps by always being kind to teh animlols and by promoting awareness of humane treatment of animals in a positive and non-confrontational way.
Ohai LCB! I dun bin awai far tew lawng, n mist lawtsa stufz…
.
I shore hazza sorree 2 b heerin bowt ur Esme. B4 mai absintz I had bin follerin ur updaytz bowt Esme n awl da stufz U 2 wuz gowin froo. Mai hart braykz 4 U cuz I b noein ur hart brayks 4 Esme…
.
I awlwaiz b da supportin uv da hyoomayn playsiz 4 animlols. Mai Mithril kitteh caymded frum uh shelter. Muchlee beddurer playse dan da Dayzee Hill Kitteh Farm…
Teh emvyrin-mentil groop ai wurks wif bees habbin our sekkind EcoFest at teh end ovda munf, wif awl kynds ob teh ‘Green’-ish biznizis an serbisis. Wii imbietid teh lokil aminlol reskyoo groops tu has teh boofs, cus dey duz sum ob teh bestist resiekling wat der bees.
**has a littol shainisis**
**digs toe ob boot inna grownd**
Ai gunna has teh boof, tu, an tawk abowt halpin teh Monarch flutturbais wif ebbreebunnee hasin teh milkwede in teh gardins, an hao tu grohin teh gud fuds (eben insied howsis an partmints inna winturs), an tawkin bowt mai gardnin serbisis, an … an … *gulp* … an sellin teh cukbuk ai bees jus finnishin.
Well, watt a wunerful booth. Iffen I kin get dare I’ll bee visitin U.
Butt (!) iffen I hasta wuk (pleh) I ask questyons nao Pls? Does milkweed grow inna nortern Alberta Kanata (iz zone 4)? Ware kin I gets seeds.? Howe big is da plant? Iz making a wild garden dis zummer an kin add flutterby flours.
oh mai nicewitch! gud luuk wiv teh buuk sellinz!
Tank yew! Ai has teh xsietids an teh nerbisis, boaf tugevvur.
Jehkeykat – milkwedes bees berry raer in Alberta, parrotlee. Teh commin wun, Aslepias syriaca, bees hardee tu Zoen 4, sumtiems Zoen 3 eben, tho. Has yu seeing teh Monarch flutterbais wear yu is beein? Ifn yu nebbur sees dem, derz prolly uvver flutterbai hoast an nektur plants yu cud bees growin insted ob teh milkwedes. Ifn yu Google ‘native butterflies Alberta’, an den ‘(name of butterfly) host plant’, dat shud gets yu sum eyedeers foar tu inkurrij yur lokal fl’bais tu has der babeh caterpillols neer yu. Den akskin foar ‘Alberta butterflies nectar plants’ shud leed yu tu sum plants tu feed teh groanups – yoosyallee, enny prittee flours wif toob oar flat flours (liek daysees, yarrows, clowvurs, coneflours) dat dey can sipsipsip teh nectur frum. Yu cud czeck wif ur neerist nursree oar seed-splyur oar Pruvinshul cawsurvashun awfis foar a lisst ob naytive plant sujeschins. A gud siet tu halp wif plannin an plai-in is
w w w. WildAboutGardening . org
Dis bees part ob teh Canadian Wildlife Federation. Dey wil eben send yu freeee poasturs an stuf abowt flutterbais an pollinaturs an burds an awl kynds ob gud tings. Ai’d lub tu heer abowt yur gardin projikt as yu goes alawng.
Groucho Eyebrows and Rakel Welsh cleevage!
I fink dere’s more to dis kitteh den meets teh camera.
Dere mite be moar dan we wanna know…..
Isn’t it troo that teh camra adds 10 pounds to ur eyebrows?
wow…yur eyebrows has da heavy…talk about a weedwakker
How does the camera add 10 pounds to everything.
Does it carry a 10-pound weight around ?
I bleev that’s whut teh f-stop is for.
f-stop = For Simulating Ten Other Pounds
win!
Duzzat meen ifn da pitcher-tayker-purrsun setz da kamra at f-stop 5.6, himz gunna add 56 powndz 2 ur wayt?
pleez no picturez of me when camera is set on DAT mode
Doan noe whair mi new abatar wenyed – stoopi WP.
ATTENSHUN PEEZ – first I wanna fank prysm for all d adbice onna socializin of da Kittehs. We are beri comfurble wif da ider dat wii can keep Petey, Stil sum hassa an growls, speciali if one feelz cormered. Petey jumped ona bed dis mournin an bapded da carp out of mi feetz. Firs tyme he acded like comfi kitteh.
Second fanki to Bluesfan for da nue abatar. She iz wunnerful cheezpeep.
Lastly sorri about yellin on da las fred, didn’t realize caps lok waz on.
ai see abatar uf black and wite kitteh…
and dont poligize fer yellin awn last fred – teh tee are oh ell ell s wuz gedding annoying
Fanks, bluesfan aded a green hatz fore da St. Paddiez day. It was here noew not here. berri cornfusing.
nope – nawt see green hat…
I see 4 litez…
AAAHHHZ !!!!
Where haz u been ??????/
Ohai eeck! I bin teh missin cuzza awl da stufz watt lyf bin frowin at me. I leevded mai stoaree onna “If we had thumbs we’d be snapping” fred.
.
I bin teh missin mai cheezfrinz, tho – I happeetayl 2 b bak!
We iz glad to has u bak !!!
I heer you…ai wuz gone for a couple months myself due to Reel Life.
When I came bak,I diddint see you!
** goes to reed Aahz’s storee **
ohai {{{BOM}}}
ai seez ur noo pic awn ur profyle paige an awn ur message, nawt shure wai it nawt sho heer.
Anee advices frum tohse moar savvy bowt dese fings? wai BOM’s profyle pic nawt sho heer?
i mad won ob dem liddle pikipimp tings adn sumbititited it to da Word Prezz playz it no wurks i hassa dis blue ting agin ? halp?
yoo cud try cleering ur cache — under tools, clear private data (for firefox ennyway)
.
oar cud bee it taykes sum tyme foar noo pikshur to propagate to all the various WP servers an it will *POOF* show up suun!
datz probli it i onli put it in yesserdai adn it migh takez a wile!
U must haz pay shuntz, grass hopper!!!
suun u wil bee reddy tew leev teh Shaolin temple….
mani fanks mastar cweenmj
*bowz da respectiv korean way*
“gum sa hap ni da” umm dat is da “fankies VRI much” in da korean…i wuld’ve dun chinseses butt(!) i no noes any of dat langige!
O, ai dint fink uv taht. BOM, did u chainge ur Word Press gravitar? iffen nawt, tri taht an tehn cleer ur temp fyles an cookies an log bak in tew WP an ICHC. Ifinkso tahts wat ai hadda dew wen ai put mai hattie awn.
Youre homeland securitee dollarz at wurk.
***pickz up trollmask** Hay, did sumwun FROW dat kitteh in teh ayre? Wuz wrong wif yu peepz? Kitteh frowing iz WRONG! An dat odder kitteh, wut kinna URRESPONSABLOL peeps wud letta kitteh sit awn the edje ov teh sofa lyke dat? He cud fawl awf an brake himz nek!
**takes awf troll mask, frows awai** **washes face wif bleech**
Dat wuz nawt fun, wut’s teh tracshun, ai wunner?
hmmm.. Inofinks da monorail kitteh be eeny odder dan da lif gard kitteh ….
Fanky foar teh funneh!! Yuuz makeses me laffs!! HA!!
hahaha! These are great – best part is that anyone unfamiliar with lolcats would have NO idea what language is being spoken here, heh!
haha!!! dis are the funny one ib eber seen yet!!
Bravery. ai haz it!
Spider-catz web – FAILZ!!!
Aahhhh, yes, boobee kitteh returns!
LAWL!
B! ??? is that u? Ohai from princess mu!!
Yeah! O hai from me, too also!
Sowy onceajinx.
Didn’t reed alla wai down.
Monorail kitteh kinda luks derayled…8O
Hmmmm…emoticon faylyur…
Whut we has here is failure to emoticate.
LCB! Yer neveah seeze to amaze (also amuze)! I now know there are maybe fore peeps inna werld dat no dat the kwote is “…have here is failure to …”. Most peeps say “… have here is A failure to …”. ‘Frosty Paw Luke’ is wunna muh moase faborite moobies.
NOE PIKSHURS! AI SAYD NOE PIKSHURS!
Paparazzi kitteh bout to get clobbered.
Advanced Monorail Cat Secret Test Track
Securiteh Kitteh tellz u
“No photagrafee!”
YOIKS! AND AWAIIII! *thud*
yoiks! and awaiiiii! *thud*
yoiks…..and awaiii? *thud*
Ho! Haha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust! *SMACK*
Bugs Bunny & Daffy Duck !!!
“Shoot me now! Shoot me now! I demand that you shoot me now!”
*BLAM!!!*
Ouch…shoot at eeck! Nawt meh!
It’s eeck season!
** moves bill around to correct side of face **
“You’re despicable!”
“…desthpicable!
“This is preposthterousth-th!”
Hey,PootyTat…
I thot ai saw u !!
* snerk *
I did! I did! I did I saw a Pooty Tat!
Pooooooor Pooty Tat. He fall down go…
BOOOOOM!!!
Now that we’ve all reverted to our 10-year-old selves…
Reverted?
Well, if u has alredy reverted before, then u is teh preverted.
Did someone call for a Pervect?
Yep…never left!
me either… i went poopy!!!
Reverted? Sum ob us iz still verted, or will be Twosdai.
GRANDMA!!!
be beri beri quiet itz wabbit sezun..or iz it duxk sezun..
*waks in wif da big funni hat adn da gun*
he he he ….FIRE!
try: To infinitee and beyond!!!
*wates to see if it werks*
Still waiting?
yes but onlee because I’m slave to morbid curiositees….
lol i can SO totally relate ta dat!
*AfriCat gose flyin past onna majik karput* DIS isda ownlee way tu fly!!! Hey, wut r all dese oles, MOFFS? AAAAAaaaaaaeeeeee!!!! *whistlin sownd in teh sky grows lowder* BOOOM!!!
hur lemme holdz it …
*spraysprayspraysprayspray*da moff’s wiff bug spray
*sowsowsowsowsowsowsow*da patchez up
*sprinklesprinklesprinklesprinkle*da pretty majic duss on it
*pickz up da Africat*
*dussts her off*
*piks up da spar kitteh parts,sticks em bak on*
*lays her in nyce soff couch adn gibbs a chokllit mortoonie adn a hug*
{{{{{{Africat}}}}}}
*out ob da breff*
dat iz problie da moss stuffz i’ve dun on won fred
Phew! Fanks Raindrop! Dat wus a berry purrfesional reskew!!! {{{{{{Raindrop}}}}} Ail jus lye heer onna nyce soff cowch an sip-sip-sip awn teh choklitt martoonie.
oh noes! holes in teh carpet!
Africat having to be rescewed!
Is it teh Friday the 13th curse???
Firteenth Smirteenth. Teh important fing iz, wut iz AfriCat wearing?
…ehem…
Speaking of Cats and Couches…
h t t p:// http://www.kxly.com/global/story.asp?s=9997634
(Hope this makes it thru the WP filters!)
Hmmm…on CNN right now IRL:
“Couple buys $27 couch, find cat inside…”: KXLY
Um…a LIVE cat ??
** hopes **
Yes: w w w .kxly.com/global/story.asp?s=9997634
Oh,teh beyootiful bebbeh !!
Fank gudness hers wuz found in time!
OMG!!! deh pore fing!!!
kxly.com/global/story.asp?s=9997634
Oh, that iz HORRIBLE! Why didn’t the person who had her in the first place make sure? Cats get into everything!
.
And if she hadn’t been declawed, she wouldn’t have been trapped.
.
*sits an mourns fur teh poor kitteh’s nitemare, an prays her human lerns sumfing frum it*
derder PK iz ok
{{{{{Prysma}}}}}
i juss read it too, thats rong adn sad adn ur righ PK about da declaw fing…10 days thats not eben POSSIBLE fur a hoomin…
*gibbz PK NYCE option ob a YCG, YNG, or MUG, (i’m not sure wat MUG iz but u can ask BOM i tink she comes up wif it) adn a nyce choklitt martooni adn a hug* u can tell i iz in good mood todai for once
Raindrop, y ur abatar keep changin’?
Stoopy WP…put my komment in teh wrong place!
WP vewwy strange todai!
i tried to putz a new pic. then i changded mai mynd adn put anothder one den i NO lyke dat den i putted oone in adn it was to BIG so i finnaly subbmitted mai new favortie pic. adn i tink i jammd up a bit so i am waiting fur dat one of da goth kitteh to be mai purrmanant won adn it mai tak a few dais… oh adn i iz not goth butt (!) mai fav. actreess plays a gothic gurl on NCIS dat why i maded a goth kitteh pic
mai obsessions change ALLLL da tyme
ahhhh…I C …
its so funny. i love cats so good job.
Lolcat of teh yer!
He treis 2 catsj a bulet, but ten realyses dey were only shootin a pictur.
clik mai name!!!
Oh no! I hope he’s ok!
Wuzza braif kitteh. We shud holda memoriel servis in iz onnor, aifinkso!
um
1337 5|>34|<
Looks more like Pan’s Labyrinth cat to me!
Artemis fowl much? ders a part in the third buk where Jon Spiro’s bodygard shoots a gun @ Artemis and Butler plows into it, taking it and den he dies. but Holly brings him bak 2 life……….
Angeldragon.
omg wut if they attack teh monorail kitteh trainin camp!
do da jazz hands if u wanna aktchuly eeat a cheezburger!!!!!!
do da jazz hands if u wanna aet nuther cheezburger againz!!! ( and winkz )