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dis bee toooo dwastick
…you hyumans could use a liddul cutback on da fudz you eet, if you know wot i mean.
sort of live “off the fat of the land” fur a while.
Butt, butt…OK, ur rite.
Yuss, an tihs fawstur hoam cud yooz a inspek– inspok — luk raownd bai teh Kitteh Poleess!
Congrats SP. U haz beeted us awl!
*scritching hed* yah, i aer teh srurprised, dunno how dat happn’d… it tooked foreeeeeeeeeeeveh to achullee lode up da page adn da comet…
*brightens*
maybe a round of “Feeline Groovy”?
♪slo doon, you moove toooo fast,
got to make da lol-ing last…
Hawkin up teh hai-ai-airbawls
Lukkin fur fun an feelin groooovveeeeeeeee!
Simon and Garfunkle?!
shure, wai not? unless…
*holds up open mike at Cheez*
any takers?
No lolyers to call
No pwomizzes to keep
I’m tabbeh and drowzeh
An’ reddy to keep
All the gushifuds I see
*singing along, nodding hed to da beet*
*taps paws, moves tayl in tyme, happily starts to joyn in teh singin*
Me-yow!!! Yow yow!!! MeeeYOOOOWwWWWL-howl!
Let the kitteh something something hurz pedals on yooooooo
LIFE! I lurvz you
All is (deep bref) GROOOOVEEEEE
*kawf, splutter, faints dead away
Ai serusly need to lurn this song!!! It sownds amayzing! Haow are all my cheez frends tuday?
Hai, linin!! Dis b deh 59th Street Bridge Song, bai Simun adn Garfunklol
h t t p ://video.google.com/videosearch?q=59th+Street+Bridge+song&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=21iwSc_HLZGksQPtsLxz&sa=X&oi=video_result_group&resnum=4&ct=title#
congarats SP!!!!
* offurs a nice selection ov petitfours and a botlol of canadian ice wine *
fangs!
*wispers* umm wots canajun ice whine? izzit wen a canukistani sez “I AM SICK OF THIS ICE TAKE ME TO AROOBA’ inna certain tone 0 voiz?
hahah! it’s a very sweet desert wine. the grapes are frozen awn the vine and then pressed.
*whispurrs*
an is yummy wif choclit fondant…
gimee sum 0 dat?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ8muQ0PMJU
Butt ai AM sick ob tihs ice! Plzplzplz take mii to Arooba!
Yoo gitz binglol for teh combo. Here we has it folks – Canadian chonklit ice whine, curtesy of DK (avatar = blak kitten, locale = Canada).
♫♪
.
Arooba, Ja May Kah, oooo I wanna take ya,
Bermuuda, Bah Ham Ah
Kum on pritty Mommah
Kee Largo, Montee Go,
Baybee wai don’t wii go…..
down tew kokamo
will git there fast and take it slow….way down in kokamo….
I thot cween wuz starting a lizst of warm places to witch we shud ezkayp. So, I will!
Arooba
Bermuda
Cancun
Dominica
E…
Ekwadoor
Floorida
Gulf uv MexeeKo
H….
Hawaiee
In da hot sun ob de carribeen
Jamaica
K…
Kankoon!
Or Kuwait
Mann O Tee Island (Idunno — soundz warm)
New Or Leans
Ober der, buy da beech …
P…
Pacific tropical eyelanz
Quite lovely island, fanx
Rhodes (and so culturally enriching, too!)
Seychelles (I *do* hope wii can pronouns it “seashells” Islands
T….
Papeete
Quintanaa Roo
Rico, Puerto
S…
Samoa
Tonga
Urugay
Vanatu
Wa
X marks da spot on da map
Yemen
Zambia
ice whine is teh nommiest! dey lets teh graypes freeze sew dey are sooper sweet!
Ohhhh GC .. I iz galdz dat you recubbered frum ur Swoon. Doo da Haz Matt soots on da YNGs in da Recubbery Veehicle cuber enuf to stopz the swoon dat neber endz?
hmmm, i dinna now!
We’ll have tew do tests, lotsa tests!
*goz luking for YNGs on Recubbery Veehicle*
Look downz da twed — dey bee halpin SweetPea!
*falls ober laffing*
ohohes! *halps prysma up*
*chullo on hed goes askew in prosess*
accidamentally luks at da kitteh
¿AY, caramba, gatita linda!
*klonk*
*falls ober blargh frum da kute*
OOOO nose! dooes SP needs da CCC of da Swoonin Recubbery Veehicle??? Bebber to callz bof uv dem…
NINE _ ELEBENTY!!! wee needz the CC and da Swoonin Recubbery Veehicle ober heer!!! *wavin ma armies and jumpin ups and downz**
Mirrur, signul, manoober….
Nee-naw nee-naw maek wai fur teh CCC
*sweep up SP’s branes an rinse dem wiv saline solushun*
*pakk dem caerfullee bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dekratib dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklit possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
I wunder where da Swoonin Recubbery Veehicle iz ??? OHhhhh. I seez it naw. GammaCat haz High Jacked it … *ducks and squinties I’s* Wut, wut iz she doin??? OOOoooooo she’s examinn da YNGs on dat der veehicle. Keer full der GC, iffin yous examinin dem eeny closerz yous weel needz to dwive to the NB furst!!! Y yous tak offt der Haz Matt soots? and der under soots …
OHhhhhh GC uzed da de-breefing fluidz on dem …. *shakes hed — dem walks ober fur a closer luk*
*joynz E_M chekkin owt teh YNGs*
WOW … GammaCat iz reelee checkin dem YNGs outz gud. I fink she haz a microscopz… altho, Iz nawt sure she needz it, based awn wut i kin seez frum ober heer … Oh nose, naw GC iz gettin out the rubber gluvz — weez beddr stopz her ifinkso!
Ahhh… she uzes da ruberz glove az a CHRB … wonderz why???
Sum uv teh YNGs aer raver cyoot…..
Twoo twooo…. Cud cauz a splort during such a dee tailed examination. When U fink dat GC weel bee dun wif does YNGs??? Sheez takin a longish tyme wit herz exxamination
Nuffin liek bein thurrah!
Butt she needz to share!
Yep, dey wull be wore owt wen she’s finsht wiv dem!
Humpffff! *grumblez grumblez* *mubbles to sef — dat shell fish oldz GammaCatz, why shez mono poll izin da Recubbery YNGs? ***
!!!!1!!!!!LOL!!1111111!!!!
Enchoyed yuer udder comminds, too!
Ai wan bess kwalitee ownlee
As you know, this means war!
fud fight?
OK!
*Flings some cheap gushifud at MaryO*
*SPLAT!*
*ducks behind annipuss* hee hee!
*tiny tendril slings elebentee slushy snowballs at da maus*
*pewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpew———————>spl@t*
*Wheels in The Pie Paw Gun*
I hasta go. Mebbe sweetpea can play this fer you guize. TTFN!
*pulls out all da stops*
BOOP!!!
parting shot at da maus. *stays suspended in midair, cartoom style, until mause retrurns*
*Awl teh kittehz in teh nayburhud cam an likk teh gusshifud off Annipuss*
Stoppit, dat tikkulz!
‘catnip snowball at Maus’
splat!
Kitteh haz a majer fearce goin on…
RAWR! Fear me!
Itteh bitteh kitteh iz gonna git charg card and by owen fud
Aifinkso
Wat a fur-oshus widdle face!
Only Gormay will do, Stoopy Hoomin
Wat duz a Gormay taste liek?
Bit lyk gor, bit lyk may!
May needz sum gorring to find owt.
nao -want lobster.. nao!
oar cheezburgrs
an cheezcaek for dessurt!
Lobster burgers wib cheez!
Rock Lobster?
it wuznt a rok, wuz a ROK LOBSTER!! *cue surfer gitar muzik*
Kitteh toys in bikinis
Goggies on surfboards
Eberybody’s nomming
Eberybody’s grooming
Baking cheezburgers baking in da sun
For taht Ai will leev yu a lidl sumfing – in yur shoos!
And I’z nawt tawkin bout noo laces to replace teh ones I shredded lass week.
Nor gnu odereeters, tho yu cud rilly yuse som!
Pour babie noe fedz him da cheep stuf – wantz da cheezstuf
haow daer u? ai fwot u wuz mai fren!
Teh hoomins will pay…teh cheep fuds maek teh stinkeer poopees.
in teh shuus!
it’s prakitaly criminal negleckt!!!
No more fail, please.
Nao for gushifud I wantz teh foigrasses.
Om nom nom.
Kitteh doan want grasses – maeby gooses libbers iz better??
wif de obster ob corse…
Mai kitteh luvs teh grasses. Make teh xcelent barfs.
:::Ack::Ack::Blorg:::
Kleenyup on isle elebenty!
http://www.graphjam.com/2008/12/22/song-chart-memes-things-my-cats-will-eat
altho, ifinkso this shuld being a venn diagram wif all teh ovver fings being in wun big circlol called “fings taht make him barf” (yoo’ll seeing wut i meen wen yoo luk at it)
Hah! Venn Diagrams! I member tehm!
I hagree wichoo. Yoo shuld draw dat one up and send it in!
Ohai ebberywun – ai haz sum gud noos wich gibbed me a big happitayle nd ai hoeps it duz teh saem for yew orl.
Ai gettid teh resultz of mai annyil kansur chekup larst niet – nd tehy woz orl kleer so ai iz stil in remishin.
Plz to join me fore dwinks nd noms at Cheez to sillybraet.
{{kimkiwi}} ai has a happitayle fer yew!
YAY!!!!!11!!!!1!
Taht be teh awsum!!!!!!
{{{{{{kimkiwi}}}}}
Dat iz berry gud nyooz! Yippee!!!1!!
beeeg smiles and DANS DANS DANS til we falls down and den summore danses an drinkees and gud fud from NOMs
Dat’s teh bestest nooz I’z herd awl week!!!
*happeh danse*
oh, taht iz very gud nooz indeed!!
woo hoooo!!!!!
* grabs Kimi by the paws and danse danse danse inna circel!!!*
*grabs a paw or two, joyns teh dantzing circul* Whee! Yay! *kiks up heels, wayvs tayl wildly in teh ayr*
Hooray for teh remishin! *rayses a glass in kimkiwi’s honor* A toast! *klink*
Yeeeaaaa!!! Mii son hadz leukemia (AML) and heez in da remissions too!! heem jest finished his tweetment (5 rounds uv chemo). Now wii just wiat fur heem blood to get awl beddar!!
*prayerz an gud cheez thots for elsa_mama’s son*
hey, my middlol name iz Elsa!! (aftur german graet-gramma)
Yeah for the son, passes hot choklit wif whippi creme and choklit possums for himz to sillibrashun. eberybodi grab hans an dans for all da gud Dr. Tinycats bizits.
Huzzah!!
*raises glass high to toste kimkiwi!
Dis iz fine nooz, indeed.
(Mai kansur chekup is inna fyoo weeks. I am a two-tiems survivor: 1998 and 2005).
CHEEZ!!! {{{{{{{{{{kimkiwi}}}}}}}}}
gud luk wif yor chekup Q {{{Q}}}
{{{{{Q}}}}}
Gud luk. Ai shure yew wil be fien.
skweeee!!!! strippey bebbeh wif green eyes and a fierce!
*adds eggstraw ducky taype tew CHRG an adjust HGG*
hello evreewun!! heer iz teh burfday fairy to wish a big HAPPEE BURFDAY to all teh cheezfrenz, lolfrenz, noofrenz an lurkurfrenz hoo haz tehms burfdays today!! an tahtwuld be inklooding ramennoodle!! (i’m shur iz teh eggspensib imported kind ob ramen, not teh 8/$1 stuff taht kollij stoodints furnish tehms apartmints wif cases ob an tehn tehy eets it all by teh end ob teh yeer so tehy not haz to mooving tehr furnichurs!) i haz bringed gud stuff, not teh cheep stuffs, for teh burfday party – rich ‘n’ tasty fudjy burfday caeks wif delishus fudjy wippy frostsing, rich ‘n’ tasty iskreem, frootsytootsy fizzy party punch maded wif fresh ripe berreez an teh most eggspensib 7-up, poynty shiny party hats coverd wif swaroffski cristals an silk pompoms on top, an shiny foil goodie bags filled wif extry-bownsy bownsy balls that glitter wen tehy bownse, ittybitty sekrit diyareez wif reel golden locks an ittybitty keyz, sekrit decoder diymund ringz, finest imported choklits, an sparkly kitteh stikkers wif swayrovski crystal eyez!! an a big swish ob teh burfday wand to making all yor burfday wishes com troo!
———-***¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭****
*recapshurs lolllllllllolololol, hoo appeerz to hab eskapinged frum teh facktree/trol refromatory by cutting throo himz hypo-allerjinik chayns wif himz biting wit*
Yay!
taiks glas uv fizzy parti punch an bownsy bawl
*bownse…glitter*
*bownse…glitter*
Ohhhhh, pritty!!
ohai, cheezyfrenz. i kno dis iz not biggest problim in teh wurld, but i needz a little bit ob happy thots. i haz beened to teh dentist to get my toofs kleened, an it hurted. lots. i doing all teh right stuff to taking kare ob my toofs, but it still hurted an i almost cyringed.
tehn tehy telled my i haz wun toof taht iz broked an needs a krown, an anovver toof wher teh filling izn’t wurking any more an teh toof is all pleh an nasty arownd it so needz a noo filling. 
plz to be reminding me, why iz it a gud fing to be habbing toofs?
o noze {{{{lunarmommy}}}} sew sorree, teh dentist iz teh pleh! butt bedder tew git it dun soon, nawt tew let it git wurse fer layter awn
o, fank yoo {{{bf473}}} i kno, wayting duznt make it get any more funner. best to getting it over wif.
we are shur stimoolating owr dentist’s ekonomeez. mi yunger boi had chekup last week, had to habbing a cabity filled. now i haz had my chekup, an haz to habbing too toofs fixed. older boi iz coming home for spring braek next week an also going to teh dentist tehn. hoo knowz wut teh dentist will find in himz mouf?
hummWut mite a dentist fynd in a kolidj kids mouf?
.
Absinthe
Bitten orf finner nail
Chewing gum
Dental floss frum lass checkup
E…
Toofs are teh bes’ 4 to eating gushifuds and crunchyfuds. And to show so pritty when smiloling!
{{{lunarmommy}}} There, there, dear one.
fank yoo {{{Q}}} yesh, i wuld be sad if culd not be eeting teh krunchyfuds. an i am tolded i haz purty teef for teh smiling. just dont look at tehm too klose, iz skary.
{{{lunarmommy}} toofs for nomming cheezburgers! burgers+blender = pleh!
sumtypes peeps just have toofs that cauz problims (cats tew!) hubbeh cat got a water pik and dat seems to have helped!
{{lunarmommy}} *sends toof-fairee to hedbat LM’s dentist*
{{{gammacat}}} yesh, iz troo, needs toofs for teh cheezburgerz!! an teh pizza!! my toofs haz alwayz been trubblesum, finkso i haz had more fillings tahn i haz teefs! hubby haz nebber had a cabity, but him had brayses. i nebber had brayses, but many many cabitiez.
U nead toofs 2 nom crunchifuds and 2 biet peepl hoo annoi u! Ai had to lib awn blenderd fuds fur a week wen teh dentiss wuz maekin me sum nyoo teef – blenderd toona salid nawt 2 gud akchoolee!
{{{annipuss}}} yep, blendered fud, that wuld be teh pleh. i likes my fud wif much crunchiez an teksturz in tehm. not wurk so gud wif no toofs, yor right. my dr. tinydentist iz very nise man, will try not to biting him.
don’t furget teh corm on teh cob!!
LOL, remindings me ob old Saturday Night Live TV show wher tehy havinged a skit wher tehy putted a whole bass fish in teh blender. “Bass-O-Matic.”
wuz disgusting but very much LOLz
Aiz sorri dat da toofies haz hurtz. Toofies gud an needed for to tear awae the beff ona Holydae dimmers.
Dentistz ar sillis – they talk to U wile haz hanz in mouf. Mine no to bad, he kleens da teefs hizzelf. Dat wae U can bite if hurtz.
{{{bon_momme}}} yes, toofs are gud for many fings. i save lots ob munneez on getting my fingernayls mannykyurd by doin it myself wif my teefs!
ifinkso teh toof-kleeing lady (not teh dentist) forgets taht teh toofs iz attached to a peeple.
lunarmommy – mah toof kleening laydee must be relayted to yors. She pokings and proddings and I bleedings and has payn every tyme! Then they mayks me feel bad – why duz yoo haz awl this bleedink? BEKAWZ YOO IS POKINGS ME WITH SHARP FINGS, THAZ WHY! Ahem, um, ennywayz, I is writing to be supportive. Teh toofs is for nomming gud fings! And for smiols.
*smiols broadly, showing rows of sharp, shynee, whyt teefs*
{{{gremlin}}} taht maded me LOL, wich iz teh best fing for a sad. i knowd all teh cheez frenz wuld having just teh right fings to say to make it better!
{{{{{cheezfrenz}}}}}
Aw, purr lunarmommy! Hoepez u feelz bedder fastest. Mai kittehs hadda hab sum ub der toofies removed, an dey luks ok! But dey nebber did smiyell a lowt.
{{{jajeh}}} fank yoo!
OOOOOOOOooooooooo.
sooooo sry tu heering dat, Lunar Mommy. Owiee tofferz iz deh pleh. Huzbin b gitting deh denchewerz. Himz haz hadding deh upper plate fur yrz. Last week him had 2 tooferz pullinged and next week deh last uv deh lowerz b kumming owt. ow, ow, ow, ow!!!! Den him will hazzing deh full set uv pritty toofz. 
{{{cweenmj}}} iz best to be getting teh pleh owie toofs owt. iz mizerble wen tehy iz hurting. hope all goez gud for yor huzbin!
Teh adbantij uv denchewerz iz dat u can taek dem owt wen dey ake!
Ai heer tu late tu hab ennyfing gnu tu add. But ai can gib hugs!
{{{{{{lunarmommy}}}}}
Nekst time yu at dentist, plz tu be imajining we awl crowded in tehre wif yu, howlding hand, otay? An if stoopy dentist oar stupid halper hurts yu an yu crai, we be tehre to hedbat tehm an hug yu. An if BERRY bad, we tie tehm up in dental floss an send tehm tu birfday fairy like trolls!
Ai nawt wan taht kynd u bi 10 fer wun munnee.
Ai wan taht kynd dat kittehs awn teh ‘mercial haz serbed tew dem inna crystlol bowl. Oar elze. STN!
U can haz gushifud 10 fur wun munnee?!
Den whai ai bye u teh onlee 5 fur wun munnee kind!!
Fanks kitteh U can haz moar fudz naow.
Kitteh disapproves of store-brand dry cat food. I must spoil you rotten!
Pink Monkeh we need tawk, NOW
its bukky katt!!
:crys:
:crys:
Oh Hai, Paul!!! I finkso, u mite want tu taking a peek at mai helperz. Dehy b at
cheeztowncryer.wordpress.com/majik-trikz/
U’ll hav tu adding deh 3 dubyaz. it will telling u haow to fixing ur name tu b a linkee dat goez sumwair….. adn how tu making awl deh smileez and lotsa uzzer inneresting stuffz!
I only remember
8D 
:P 
Iz Paul gnu here?
Akshully mai name isnt Paul!!!!!
But I do know Paul Gnu 
Kitteh, eff u nau laike deh fud ai gibs u, go out an getta jawb!
mai jobz is to make sure you is doing a good job. Now gets to work!
Oh, deh soopurrviser
Awwww
did kitteh nawt get his gushifuds? Did his mum bai crunchifuds instead?? Shame on teh mommeh.
Kitteh, as lawng as I habs yer attenshun, we hafta tawk. Wiff the eeeknomonee in it’s current dire conditshun ebberywun hasta make sum sakrifces, so we have had to switch to the moar ekonomical brand of fud, sawwy. This round of cuts may nawt be enuff if the market duzzen turn aroun. Owr 401k is noaw a 201k an we are going frew owr savings. We may nawt be able to maintayn full employments and might be outsourcing some of the jawbs that are less demanding. We have maed sum preliminary inkwiries and der is a kitteh from India who would take yer jawb fer nothing more than kibble, just saying.
LOL!!! In spit uf deh truff uf dis.
Noes! Dey cant giv hims cheep fudz…
Mah kitteh refuzez tu eet aniting udder then teh $4 a kan fud.
Awesome!!!
Dish ish sad… he no want chep fudz…
Eye C dad ket iz ongri!!!!
Wow….. Sad that I know that that’s a Bed Bath and Beyond receipt. XDDD
awww…so kyoote. no…why did i have to notice the kyoote!?!?! *SPLOORT*