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awl teh beddur tew see u wif!
Congrats jk2k, lukks liek u haz a solo tawp spot! Wat drinkies an dansis wud u liek?
ohai annipuss! how abowt wii awl hab a verginya real an anudder mynt joolip frum teh las fred?
Ai haz nebber had a mynt joolip, but dey sownd taystee.
aifink owr cheezfrenz frum teh sowth kin tell us teh best ressipee!
Ai juss Googlold it – lukks eezee 2 maek, `sept Ai hazn’t got ennee uv teh ingreedy ants!
Annipuss, iffen yu kin wayte til bowt A-prul, (deepindin awn teh weddur) ai will ship yu boatlowds ov frecsh mint, it grows wyld in mai yard nao frum wun liddlol plant ai plantid yeers ago. Yurz fur the takin, til teh furst frost. If yu need help gettin gud suvern burbun, ai kin help tu.
If yu need shugur, ai will sind dat, butt yu are alredee sew sweet…
Ohai purdee burd.
Ohai Troll E! Hao yu iz? **sniffs** Yu smell beddur, um, I meen, diffrunt den teh odder day! Did you have a seltzer baff or sumfing?
rhsb fownded me wif teh fyrmans truck and gibbed me teh baf!!
**Jaw, ur, bottom beek drawps** Dat rhsb! Hao dayre hur?
mostest important thingi about da mint julip iz awlwayz use veri gud boubonz
Yesh Yesh! An NEBBER yews teh blendid stuffs. Pleh!
Thx – u aer trooer dan u fink – Ai haz diabeetus, soe ai sumtiemz get 2 sweet!
Ai haz mint in mai gardin 2 an can bai it fresh in teh soopermarkit. Nawt shore bowt bourbun – nebber lukked!
Iz beddur wif bourbun, butt Irish oar Scotch whiksees will wurk if U nawt can find bourbuns.
Yu mite nawt lyk the mint julips, den. Iffen yu lyke mint, miny peepz lyk teh mojitos, iz mint an rum or bodka. Aifinkso iz cawled summfin slitely differunt wen yu yews bodka. Butt, ai donut nose if yu has dis stuff cawled Splenda, a shugur substatoot, ai haz yewsed dat wif grayte sukcess.
Yep, we haz Splenda – iz teh best nawt shugr sweetner Ai haz fynded.
Day iz ad burr ty zin sum gnu fing, ai cannawt fink ov teh name, iz made frum sum leef, aifinkso? Butt ai haz nawt seen it in stoarz yet. Mai muddur in law haz teh two mush shugur tew (alldoh hurz nawt dat sweet, reelee) sew ai trai tu keep awn tawp ov dis stuff.
Ai hazn’t heered uv ennee nyoo stuff – wud haz 2 be berry gud 2 beet splenda Aifink!
iz teh leef parrothead speeks ov stevia leaf? I fink it haz a funny, slightly bitter aftertayste, so I duzznt yuse it in ennyfing subtle. Slightly better-tasting bershuns ov it sold unner brand name truvia. Xylitol is akshully gud for yr teef, but too musches can kause unpleasant (and loud) digestive prollums.
Ohai booklion mai winged fren! Datz it eggzaklee, truvia. Ai haz nawt scene it in stoars yet, yu say iz pleh? Kin yew buy xylitol, ai haz onlee scene dat in gum. **pushes awai nawty fawts ov servin tu muddur in law to mayke hur hab loud digestive prollums**
I fink dat if yew gabe yer MIL sum gum wif Truvia we wood be willing to back you up, meybe even lie fer yew if the stories yew tole about the loud digestib prollems were funny enuff. I furdder fink dat I wood go to grate lengfs to support yew iffen yew offered her a bowl of they tater chips made wiff Olestra. I yam trine hard and nawt comin up wiff anny topic funnier den Mother-in-law flatus.
**finds note uree publick wifakwikness**
Yew sware tu dis, Judson?
Aifinkso ai will du the Olestra stuffz at hur howse, yufinkso?
ohai, parrothead, onny causes digestib prollums if yu has lots and lots ov it, more than in gum. Howsumevver, if yu gets sugar-free stuffs made wif sorbitol, and she eats lots ov tehm, yu gets yur rebenge. Just make sure paf to baffroom is cleer. I noes this frum eating sugar-free jelly beens maded wif sorbitol. twelve hours of teh agony, nd I wz fanking CC that I livs alone nd did nawt make ennywun else suffer frum teh sounds nd smells.
Truvia is better-tasting than pure stevia, aifinkso. It iz avabale in regular grocery stores here, and in helf-food stores. But I agrees wif annipus, that splenda tastes teh best.
Oh, and truvia duz nawt cause teh digestive prollums. Is teh sugar subsitutes whose names end in -ol (sorbitol, mannitol, xylitol, etc) that can make teh intestinal moosik.
Is that some kind of illness??? Because it is making me green!!!!
Is it
Conga Ratz jk2k.
U liek sum gingur beer fur drinks? wif a littlol kik oar strate?
kik plz!
Ai aer watshin u
veri skaarreee!
Dat wuz mai sekund thort – doan’t fink Ai wanna haz dat fur mai desktop!
Speshully wiff teh kitteh bodee behind teh moniter, lukkin lyk teh kitteh is cumin fru teh skreen at u!
mebbe kiip awai teh vyrushes?
Ai fink Ai’s prifurr 2 stikk to auntie birus soffwear, thx!
wut big teef ai hab tu. snurk.
Awl teh better tu nom teh gushifuds wib, mai deer.
FTW@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
objektz on puter screen mai be closur den they appearz.
Objectz on pooter screen mai be hungrier dan dey apierz.
Objectz on pooter screen mai be sleepier dan dey apierz.
*stiks troll in catnip-filled sak adn throws intu teh mass ob kittehs nomming gushifudz in the doorway*
*pulls awt phone, dials *
Hallow iz dis teh Sosayatea Purrvenshun uf Crullteez tu Trollz (SPCT) ? Yas ai hazza ‘plaint. teh meen jd haz feeded me tu teh kittehs!
Whai U shud Care? Ai izza troll, iz ur jawb!!!
*pownces on catnip troll*
purrr purrr purrr
*hedbonk*
Oh, Mr. Troll! Dere yoo ar!
On da “electro-kitteh” post, some1 SPLORTed and wasn’t helped!
lukily for dem, ai saws it an halped, but we needs to be awar. Mebbe sum rools about splorts to cut downs on da untreated splorts?
Teh trubbul iz dat peepl go bakk to lols dat hab been replaesed an taek teh risk uv gettin in2 diffykulteez `coz nowun els iz dere. Dere shud be a warnin nawt to go anown 2 awld lolz wivowt addykwayr purrtekshun!
*memo 2 selb, reed messij b4 postin*
Hey Sir Scarfalot — I wuz da peep dat wuz splorted by da black spikey kitteh. I didin nose dat der wuz a noo lol … So I splorted at mii own riskee. Butt (oo) I iz fine!! i wokeded up and sweeped up mii bwains… Dey r a bit dusty and mii hed bone wuz crookedie — but awl wurks pretty pretty pretty *bonk* pretty gud now!!
oh, dats gud. but ai dids reskew yoo… aifinkso. But, ohes noes!! anodder lol came!
bye nao…
Spy ware not so gret actually!1!!
Dat’s funneh Raindrop!
*enters singing*
Whai duz ai feels leik
sumbuddy watchin meeeeee….
ana got noe priva see!
AHHHHHHHHHHH!
… oh, that’s just a desktop screen.
*puts down Boi Buffink Cloth*
A NOWNSMINT, A NOWNSMINT, I HAZZA NOWNSMINT
Ai innerup tihs lol to maek teh followink nownsmint…
In teh honor of ower noo frend Raindrop, nd orl thoes obber cheezfwends hoo is on teh yung sied of lief, ai iz pleesed to bring yew…
Teh YCGs (Yung Cyoot Guys/Gals).
Tehy are jewnya vershuns of the YNGs nd are moar sootabil for teh yunger Cheezpeeps. They kin be yewsed in plaice of the YNGs nd can do moast of teh tihngs taht teh YNGs do (egsept teh norty fings). Yew kin deesyde wot tehy will weer, hao tehy will lukk, nd tehir purrsonalytees.
Orl haev been bufft nd pollishd nd are reddy for new hoems rite nao.
Come and git yore YCG todae, whiel stoks larst.
Normil servis resuumes.
i’ll takes twee pleez …
Naow dat’s juss greadee!!!!!!
Izz a perogutib uf youf aifinkso, anni. Raindrawp will bring a cupplol bak wuns she fyndz aowt haow mush dey cawst tu feed.
but but my my mommy she goes to to da bank adn gets free money yea free money i sees her do it juss comes out dat liddl round tubeie ting she takeses da money adn *WHOSS* away goes da tobby thing again …so money no issue… adn u guys is older get ur YNG’s
LOL – free munnee frum teh bank. Datz a gud wun.
Ohai Raindrop. Let me tells u bout sumfing mai couzin said mane years
ago. She wanted a prettie dress adn mai autie said she didnna has any
monies. Mai couzin said “well just writes a check”. Sumfing tells me
dat couzin didnna unnerstandz anyfing bout monies. Butt (tee hee) she
learned later when she gotted an allowance adn hadz to buy alla her
clotheses.
well hellloooo mr.ycg … u can does dishes … u can does cookin’… u can makes bed…. u can clenzz room… adn kitchen..adn baffroom… adn da anyting else i demand !
*excuse me Mr.YCG to the left… yes u … getz me a martoonie, adn you in da middle i hasa whim i need cattered too*
i tink i can rightfully say i has a spoild!
Ai don fink we was ebber in dowt
lol i shall take dat as compliment!
Grate! Den u kin awlso hab teh spoilt bacon adn spoilt milk frum teh bak ob mai fridj, wiff mai compliments!
Ohai Angie’s Papa! Ai donut beeleev ai hab had teh plezur! **extends culurful wing in frenship** Mebbeh Raindrop wud hab wun ov teh YCG’s kleen owt yur fridjamatur? An mine?
Ohai, parrothead. Ai dont cum owt much (ai ushullee let Angie du teh tawkin), but we was tawkin abowt Angie downfred, so dats wen ai use teh Papa moniker tu show ahm tawkin “owt ob karakter” so tu speek.
.
Sumtymz ai furget tu swich it bak (DID issues, oar juss gettin owld)
Aifink ai gnu dat, butt (hehe) ai allwayz hafta fink bowt AngelPlume been a gurl, an yu been a boi, ur, jinnelmen. Ai wunce akksadintlee sayed LCB wuz a boi (eben doh ai noed hur wuz a gurl) sew ai am alwaiz wurried about dese fings. Eneewai, nycetewmaykeyurawkwaintunce! Ai lubs yur AngelPlume!
I has a wow.
ohai DR i sent u a fwend wequest, hokay?
O.K.
We’s cool
huh??/? wats dat? wats a YNG den??
A YNG is a Young Nekkid Guy/Gal. Tehy hang owt in the Nawty Barn nd do chores nd stuffs fore us. Sum of the cheezpeeps haz tehir own praivit YNGs.
The YCGs are liek teh apprentis YNGs.
Ai need a nawt so yung guy (cudn’t manij a yng at mai ayj!)
*gets peece of pappur nd startz dezinink a MUG (Matyoor Usefil Guy) for Anni*
an he shud now teh automotive repair, plumbification ub the sinks and hab a bes fren, teh butcher who gibs lossa fwee HAMBURGER meats fur teh bar b quez! na iffin he kin duz teh pooter repair, izza all gud!
dat wud make dis a MUG’s game!
Pleez can I haz 2 also Pleez Pleeez
Yew shoor kan. Yew wanna MUG or a YCG, or wun of eech.
Iz maytoor sew I wanz MUG. Won who cokz an kleenz an laundraez and al suchez stufs. I haz huzby for nauty stuffs.
i thinkin i culd uze a MUG tu..mine hubbi iz awlwayz bizzi wurkin so i needz himz tu bii handi at da howsehold repair thingi
i can has YNG who cuks and cleens?
oh hai Bon_Momme — you steel needz a puncture??? I hadz ta go homez be four. Butt (oh) I iz home naw and ken bigs you dat accu punctures iffin you still needz dem…..
Yez pleez, I uzed to haz one for mi goggie before he crossed the bridge. Mi huzzbin uzd to call her da vudu doctor. She also duz the cyro—chipo—back snap doctor.
yup… yup mii goggies getz da bak snaos and da punctures too. You haz tyme naw fur some puncturin??
Iz gud aifinkso. What happended last fred you was bloo, now uz black. I don unnerstand. U no wants frends to find U?
I dunno Y mii name changez colorz. I noticed dat too. i haf to seez iffin I ken figgur it out … eene wun haf eene idee why sumtimes mii namez be bloo an den it iz black???
Iz nawt mii faut!! iz nawt twin da be anti social …
If u wantz to ask to be frendz I would be bery honoured.
oh noes big brother kitteh is watching U
Akshully in IRL I has mah Injeh kitteh as a background on my lappy top
Me tu – teh full pic dat ai got mai abatar frum.
.
Its a littul kreepee to luk up frum teh screen adn see her standin dere starin at me in teh egzakt saym poze as on teh puter, onlee nao shez a littul owlder so has filled owt a bit.
.
I’v started callin her “statuesk kitteh” cuz she tayks dat egipshun poze much moar den she runs arown lyk a “normal” yung kitteh. Mebbe ai has traynd her tu be a littul tuu polyt.
she is very purteh kitteh
Yup, adn ai knoz it tu. *strut-strut-poze*
my yogeh kitteh is like that, alwaiz preening and posing
and grooming hizself
I fink he knoz he iz one good looking kitteh
basement cat iz awlwayz watching
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
I has a scaird
Iz owkay. Kitteh in compooter iz chasing mouse rownd screen.
ai fink dis ferocius kitteh! yew seez teh wires beined CHEWED UP ana the look mub fircnez inn kitteh eyz? Dis be a mini basment lectrical fercniess kitteh!
oops
GAH! *falls outta chair*
hokay guys i’ll cya later gottsta go BYE
Bye raindrop, habba gud nite.
oops wron picture! ai thot wuz stil on electricl kitteh comments page! *runs a round n round looking for brain and mind*
Ebery breff u taek
And ebery move u maek…
I’ll be watching U
Hao u puts dis ‘puter / kitteh in sweepy mode?
Look into mah eyes human
U is slowly falling asleep
*loosens grip on kitteh treats*
*falls asleep*
Kitteh wins again.
**flies in threw Romeow’s window aftur pickin sum lemmun an graypefroot blossum frum the yard (Romeow’s yard, dat iz, mai yard awl dere iz to pikk iz stiks)**
**waves blossums unner Romeow’s knows**
**jintlee nudjiz Romeow**
Waykee Waykee Romeow, tyme tu plai wif yur cheezfrens!
SSSHHHH!!! parrothead… lettuce tayke teh treets nawt-sekkun!
Odeer! Yu rite, gammacat! Hear, tayke dem an put dem inna gud hydin playce! **Hans gammacat treets wifakwikness**
lullaby, angudnite, sleep a fyew moar minnits deer romeow!
*runsawfwifkwikness&treets*
der, all hidden!
thankee PH!
lol, dat 2 funy, I luv et.
*UK iz lying inna kozee rockin chayr nekst tew teh beeg pikshure window in teh Hedsplort Recubery Ward. Frum heer, she kan see teh Princess Mu Meadow. UK iz lying wif her wite frunt paws tukked under her, and her liddle bloo uni korn curled up besyde her. He iz sleeping, uzing UK az a pillo, and UK’s strpey tayl iz curled aronwd, parshully coverin teh uni korn liek a blankit. Teh sun shynes in teh window, mayking teh uni korn’s gold horn and hoofs glitter and sparklol. Awn a liddle wood tablol bai teh chayr iz a half ful kup uf hawt choklit, naow lukewarm, and a prittee emerald green glass vayseholding purplol and wite lilacs. The scent uf lilacs fills teh Hedsplort Recubbery Ward. Uk lubs lilacs – dey remynd her uf wen she wuz a bebehkitteh growing up at her parints’ howse, where dere wuz manee lilac bushes. UK’s yello-green eis are half klosed, but she iz awayke and luuking owt teh window. She haz just had a wunnermuss bisit wif her owld frens, and naow she iz watching tehm enjoi theer new frens in teh meadow. Over bai the lilac bushes, Max iz standing nose tew nose wif hiz owld horseshowing/trailriding/camping buddy, Chip. Both uf tehm are bays, red-brown wif black legs, maynes and tayls, but iz eezee tew tell tehm apart. Chip, a Standardbred, iz taller, longer and leaner, an ex-raycehorse, while Max iz a typical Quarter Horse – shorter, stocky and muscular. Off tew the rite, UK’s goggiefren Cody, a Miniature Schnauzer, iz plaiing wif a frog he fownd at teh pond’s edje, wile Jamamakitty’s Mamakitty watches him frum her seat awn teh split rayl fence. Right in frunt uf teh window, weer teh lawn meets teh flower gardin, UK’s kittehfrens Stormy and Chica be plaiing hydenseek wif rhsb’s kittehfren, Josey. And awl arownd teh meadow are lawt uf otter kittehs and goggies uf ebery deskripshun, awl uf tehm happily enjoi ing teh beyutimuss meadow. After watching fer a lawng tyme, UK stretches, waykes teh uni korn up, and they boff stroll frum teh ruum, glad tew hab seen owld frens agin. *
**wipes eyes wif a sham-WOW** **blows knows awn teh sham-WOW**
Dat wuz byooteemus, UK!
vereee lubley UK!!
ai hasta go, ai has sumfing in my eye,
yeah, that’s it, dust in mai eye!
*sniff sniff*
*offers Gammacat sum eyewash tew cleer teh dust frum her eye*
fank q PK – ai ben finkin abowt mai Max and Stormy and Cody and Chica a lawt laytely, sew ai thot ai’d bisit dem!
OH {{{{{UK}}}} Dat wuz a most beautimus stori. Ai lobed it so much. Ai culd see mai kittehs (Missy, Squeaky, BK, TuffGuy, PeepAl) adn my goggies (Sissy, Confucious, Tippy, Brute, adn Prudence) all playing inna Princess Mu meadow. Dey be so happytayl adn fulla lief. Fankies bery muchly.
**sniffs, wipes nose, sniffs**
glad yu liekd it, OnleeKitteh! Yu kan go dere yerself ne tyme yu want, yu noe!!
Mai IRL haz bean yuck dis week week week, did nightshayde lewz hur hedake an git awf tu baykayshun, duz inneewun nose? Ai wu habbin a wurree bowt hur, frum teh liddlol bid ov lurkun ai wuz ablol tu dew!
Oooh, now the owner should put his or her face in the kitty’s food bowl, bed, etc.
Oops, I mean “on”.
WHOA! I actually jumped back startled!
Great Lol!
Da kittehs nosee luks funneh — iz too beeg or sumfink …
shud say — hiz NOSEE iz two beeg
I HAZ A NOUNCEMENT!!!
I hopez iz OK to jest mak an nouncement…
I madeded it inna last LOL, but nawt meeny peeps left der…
EEENNEE WHOOO…
Iz startin a noo cheezeland bizness (due I needz a permitz???) Iz a Accu Puncturin bizness. Iffin eeny peepz haz a tense musclees o sum painz or achies den mak en pointment at mii klinik and I weel gibs you some punctures. Iz onlee uzes berry kleen needles — day are likked kleen eberydaa and I kans mak up to 20 puncturees all at wum time!
Ai can get teh giftee cardz fur mai frens?
yup!! pwice is elebenty hunnerd pennies and a beeg pile o gusifudz …
Duz U taek troll munnies oar nipz insted uf pennies?
iz da nips da gud stuffz??
fresh pikked inna swamp where teh waddurs keepz teh kittehs awai.
eeewwww … dat nose sound lik gud nips… Iz dat gud nips? i nawt a nip ex pert
**Kownts pointee enz awn kitteh**
Wut eggzaglee are teh “needlols’ kleened wif? Iz kitteh tungs? owell, datz kleen enuff fur me! **sines up** Ai haz tense musclees, teh DrTinycairopractur sayed ai had teh tensist nekk musclees he eber seed in twenee yeers! Ai alwsew hazza hedake awla tyme!! Kin yu halp?
Ob curse dey iz kleened wif da kitteh tongs — wut else??
Otay, lays dawn onna cooshie bed heer .. ur face goez inda hole at da endz (so uz donut smashes ur nosey)
Naw, Iz beegins onna neks furst. Yous weel feelz a leetle presuuure and den … a pop – dats da puncture! Heer goes nufink!!
Push … pop … push … pop … push … pop…
howz dat — startin to feelz bedder .. I keepz goin /
I want this desktop!
is not teh eyes…is teh NOSE
teh nose gonna sniff u owt…………..
Why I eyes ya!
all the live long day
I haz that mouse