We’ve replaced Bernice’s fuzzy bunny slippers with a pair of angry ferrets… …Let’s see what happens
picture: princesscosmos13. lol caption: arose
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*NOM TOES!*
eeeccckkkk!!!!
Pinky? Are you pondering what I’m pondering?
…an dis liddlol piggie tastes lyke roase beast …
meebee it tastees like friiid mausee!!
GSOML!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111!!!!!!!!!!!
feewet says “tasts wik chiken.”
nawt so sur brain, iz we taekin dem farrets to a dans?
why not….I could use something to get rid of the mice infesting my house.
besides, the wriggly poo-sacks are kinda fun to watch.
Thoze arrnt wriggly poo-sacks. Thoze ar yur wurst nytemarez.
nah, I just finished one of my worst nightmares. there were no kneesocks with eyes involved. I could’ve used one or two to fetch what had fallen and rolled juuussst out of my not inconsiderable reach.
did a bolt pop off dan?
no, not really, but some of the parts used to brace the broken parts of the chair risers scattered like quail.
oh mai!
*awferz dan sum industreyal strengf soopergloo adn teh duckie tayp.*
y call dem poo-sack??
years ago, I had a “summer thing” with a girl who had two or three of the things. That was her name for the things due to their capacity for defacation and thier limberness.
otay den … likee goldee fishee ar poo machines … I git it!
oiz! i wuv ferrets!
I think so brain, but burlap chafes me so…
conferretlashuns, maus. izzit pro pre ate to go to Cheez fr Ohai Tee fr da sillybrashuns? is dere Nomday Gras speshuls?
I maded sum fresh beignets an sum king cake. An sum fryded ersters if you lieks sumpfin savoury. An sum shrimps salad tee sammies too!
*lostinspace, lostinthots, walkinontredmills*
SHWIMPS? did i hear shwimps!!
round of shwimp on da howse, mebee? :wheedleyface:
*nomnom ond da bin yay’s , wif side 0 fryday ersters*
*has smore king caek, toadally unaware 0 da tri colour’d shugar left on faze*
**dabz jintlee at sweetpea’s fais** Yew hab a liddlol sumfing rite DERE!
OBOI!! Fryded ersters (yew say oysters) I lub dem! Pleese Pleese Pleese I could order a platter ob dem erters? I jest doan eatem raw but any hows you cook dem I lyke dem!
Ai doan’t fink Ai wanna noe….
I alreddy noes. I has ebil debil dust bunnehs. Dey teh origanul toe nommers and ankul buyters..
Owwie!
Ha ha! And bunny slippers show up in the ads.
Oh iron-neeeee.
Kwik! Summedy cawl 9-elebenty!
O.K! “YO 9 Elebenty! Cmere kwik!” Done, naow wut?
I guess we waits…
*Pulls up a lawn chair and sits*
Wanna beer, judson?
whut we waitin fur? Iz der sumfink up in da sky? Where you lookin?
“Fanx, Maus” I pops de cap offen the microbrew I gawtz from Maus and weights fer the 9 elebenty guise to show up. “I habba bag ob peanoughts hear, want sum?”
Sure! An I hazza platter of fried ersters wif remoulade sauce fer dippin. Haz sum!
Whooaaahhh, if I dyes naow yew knows I’ll be in Hebben.
* sneeks up beside mause*
* steels awl the oysters and sauce*
* skipps away*
done luk nao Judson, butt sum wunz jest stole ur hebbens …
I spose if sumbuddies gonna brake muh hart I’d prefer to be beautimus woman lyke the princess.
did da poleeciz eber showed up after you called da 9 elebenty? Yous cud send dem after ur hebbens. Steelin hebbens bound to bee a big criime …
Fanks Judson! * returns most ov the hebens*
is dis irony since dey is ferous?
*headdesk*
w00t! i med maus heddeks??!!11?
*faycepaw*
U should giff her medducin. Mayke it better.
*passes over Geritlol wif Xtra irony*
oh, wait. is irony only iffi spelt “ferric” . my bad speloling, lemming sho u it…
no no noes! ferric AND ferrous — bofe wurds refer to compownds wiv iron innem. depenz onna ionic stayte (ironic stayte?) uv teh iron inna compownd…
mai rarely-yoosed metallurgy degree — let me show u it!
hee, ironic state= bivalint dust bunnez or trivalint dust ferrets
*wispurz* i new dat bofe werdz ref to FE, i wuz jest using a device so i could play/spearmint wif bofe werds. i’m just glad peeps gottit…almost dint post evver!
pea ess- i spekt sum 0 you noticed teh “rous” in da furst won…
ai dint notiss urs — u r too clebber foar me!
butt (!) teh ROUS kinda kame up a liddul layter downthred! bettur layte than nebber!
Ferrous = divalent an ferric = trivalent iron. It’s a transition element so can be either.
oh mai! breengz bak memrees… wee iz awl sum smart peepz!
Ai had 2 memrize teh entyre peery oddic tabul fur a kemistree eggsam wuns!
An Ai still `membur it neerlee 50 yeerz laytur!
Yer mettalurgical? Kewl! Dat splains why yer so good at forgin new frenships
I loves mettalurgical. Teh wonderful weathur reportz make life eazier.
*snort* LOL!
ROFLPIMP!!!
?? Rollin on flor laffin wif ur pimp??? wut??
*wisperz tu Elsa_Mama*
teh PIMP meenz “peein in mai pantz”
Ohhh naow I noes — rollin on da flor piddlin in da paint! Wut color paint U uze — yeller?
Hed bonks meself — ahhh… piddlin in ma pants!!! Better den in da paint .. dat might make the room smelly …
*shrugz*
sownz liek ur needin tu chanj teh pantz tu mee, Africat…affer hazzin
an aksidental in tehm lyk taht, u myt wantu…
I never metallurgical I didn’t like….
An why yew has such a malleable sents ob humer
an why after allah dis tyme yew are nawt werk hardened
after werkin elebentee yeerz inna hii tek manyoofakchuring, yoo kan bet ai wuz werk hardened!!
Dat Bernice alweys hadda madnetic personalitty.
adn steely eyes.
and she keeps an fine edge on her commints
az sharp az ur guise wits r, ai nawt shur ai kin kumpeet tudai…
Happee burfdai icanhazcoffee!
tanks and jeeps parrothead!
iz yr BURFDAE? happy happy burfday!
I need to rest, or eat. I saw “kumpeet”, and translated it to krumpet…..and suddenly had a hongray.
u can haz summa mai burfday caek frum teh burfday fairy downthred – its teh fudje!
whew, at least it isn’t carrot cake. I have no will when it comes to carrot cake.
ai unnerstand. mai downfawl iz teh spyc caek…
oh yes, Mrs Bairds had my number when they used to sell those spice cake cupcakes…….I had to be wrestled down and pinned to leave the things alone.
.
sad really.
*nodz alawt*
they wuz thurully danjrus!
here dan!
*brings owt homemaded 3 layer carrut caek wif creeeeeeeem cheez icing*
Don’t fall asleep on that.. teh creem cheez will start t’smell aftur awiles.
k den… anyone else want it?
I hasta go visit my mom, she just got out of teh hospittal.
not having a grate day today… *sigh*
c u laters.
oh grate, and on top of that I has an invisible.
*SIGH*
Ownlee a tempree wun!
Hoep ur dai improobz {{{{{{{Leeza}}}}}}}}
KRUMPETS FUR EBERBOODY! hmmm.. wuts a krumpet?
is cawled ingerlis muffin in amerika aifink. Is a yeastcaek dat u cook inna frying pan… is yummee!
.
bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/database/homemadecrumpets_70053.shtml
ooooo engrish muffins!!! weez heer in da U Es A buys dem already kookyed and puts dem in da toaster! Ifink dey be bedder freesh and jest out uv da pan!!
I finx der is a liddlol differmenz betwixt the Engerlish Moffin and the Crompet, they’re boffe made wif yeest but the krumpet is a gridlol caek made from a badder dat yew pore into a ring onna gridlol and the Engerlish muffin is made
from a yeest dough cut wiff a ring and cooked onna gridlol.
oh, its yer birfdai todai! happytail birfdai an manee happee returns!
tanks muchlee gammacat! therz burgerz adn caek adn guddeez downthred, frum teh burfday fairy. adn therz cullerin buks, too!
Happi birfdai – an mennee moar 2 follo!
tanks and jeeps annipuss!
LOL! Boooooo…. lol!
Bernice has a ruff mornin
O noze! ur slippers haz a angree!
cud bee wurse, it cud bee teh rabid weeslols
* checks field guide *
.
Otay… Weesul, weesul… ah, heer dey is:
.
“Iffn yur Weesuls is hyding unner teh cowch pretendin tu be yur slippurs, dey is prolly Rabid”
.
AAAHHH!!! RABID WEESULS!
.
* runsawaiveryfast *
owr cobur iz blown!
run away, run away!
*weezuls scurry deep unner bed tu hyde amung teh dustbunnehs*
fetchay la vash!
What?
naow goe awai oar ai shal tawnt yew a sekkund tyme!
I noes goes away — I need my slippees bak! And da poor rabid weesuls needz to go to da Dr. TinyCat and get all fixded up!
*stiks nose owt frum unner bed*
yur fadder smeld uv eldurberrees!
*skurrees bak unner bed*
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my mother was a hamster…
reely?
ur parents can has mixt marrage mr maus?
hmmm… eksotic meets… a hamstur-mawse… *lik lips*
.
nao we haz a hongree!
.
*skurries intu L-spayce tu luk fur noms*
O o! Fings r takin a turn fur teh bloody! Ai don finks mai nurves kan handul eet!
Wuteber wull happn nex?
Wul teh hamster/maus eeskape?
Wul teh RabidWeasels nom him?
Tune in nex week week weeeek fur teh exitin konklusion ob: Maus an teh Weasels ob Doom!!!!!
Yep — dees rabid weesuls need to goes to the v-e-t so Dr. TinyCat can fixes dem righ up!! ifinkso!
otay — nao does rabid weesuls haz been fixeded!! Dr. TinyCat bee leafs in fixin and releesin da wild aminals dat arrr havin too meeny babehs…
Whai U haz ferrotz Awn LOLCATS!!! Ai want tu sees onlee kittehs awn lolcatz
Whai U cawl dem weeslols dem iz ferrot nawt weeslol!!
Whai U Cawl dem rabid…it hurtz demz feelings
Whai U want tu Uz dem az slippurs – onlee ferrets shud ware ferret skinz!!
Ize gunna tell mai mawm!
MAAAWWWWWWWMMMMMM!!!!
Dere naow teh reel trolls nawt haz tu show up!
oooooooo … Troll E Troll iz a profilakic troll — iz goodz to have a profilakic too keepz sumptin bad frum happinin….
*claps floofypaws reely hard tu aplawd Troll e Troll*
All da cheeze peeps shud pwatice da safe commintins and always uses a profilakic to bee safe frum da trollz!
Ah likes ur uzer name aifinkso!
oar ebben wers, teh angree ice weeslols!
I tink dey shud be Wabid Weesuls!!
Be vewwy qwiet. I’m huntin’ wabbids…
*Hehehehehehehe*
*snerk*
Wabid Season!
Duck Season!
Iffin you catches sum dey could be on da menu fur Ohai Tee! Cooked in sum whine sausey … and served wif a side o garliccy taters
teh ducks or teh wabids?
Duck season!!
hopefully not de weasels…
Jugged Wabbids
eether ifink… both wood be goods in whiney sausey …
weasuls in a whiney sausey!!???
noes — edder da duckkee o da wabids … butt u haz to eet it fast or it gibs you a headamatake listenin to all da whines!! Jest like habbin dinner wif my teenagers!
I keeps lookin fer de crazed minks an endin up wiff rabid weezles.
… oh, ai donut fink tehy rilly exist…
WOUR?
Do not lookee nao, butt (hee hee!) da rabid weezuls arrrr heeeerrrrrrrree! Da jest be right abuv you!!!
Weazles Ob Unusual Rabid? or ‘Ob lorse yew knoes, dis means wour’?
Ebil debil dust bunnehs. Oh Noes!
But tehy donut match! mebbe Mr Bernice has a matchin payr…
Teh ferrets…
well…
they no like feets on there baks.
Walk a mile in doze shoes adn you’ll no just how ferrets feel.
Is dat why they full of angreez all the tiems?
But don’t mess with Bernice’s coffee. Just sayin’.
Ersatz Bros. Coffee: The REAL One…
“moar kawfee Warden?”
I hadda fren wiff two ferrets eksept wun went missing, he sed it prolly gawt out an ranned orf. Menny munfs later he moved so I hepped (I has had menny movin experientses). His partment smelled like old laundry so I fot dat wuz wut it wuz until I wented to move the recliner chare. I turnt it opsyde doan to lift it and der wuz de pore lost ferret inna springs. Purty sad, bofe fer de ferret and fer the guy who watched TV wif a ded ferret unner hisazz and coodn’t tell.
I wuz trowmatyzed in a manner from what I may nebber fully reccuber.
*staggers out to car*
*returns with Capt. Morgans bottle*
*makes two drinks*
*hands one to judson*
here ya go, *feigns lookin’ at bottle instructions* sayz here “take as necessary” Salud.
Fanx SHD, Hans bak de dwink glass, yoinks the bottle. Dis rekwires sum serious medication.
iffin yous drinks da Captain Morgan iz yous required to onlee stan wiff one footee in da air? an howz can youz bee balancin on one footee after drinkin all da Captain Morgan? Iz a pwoblem, maa bee even a “co num drum.”
Dat not LOLz. DX At least the other ferret dinna nom it all.
Slippees, slippees … wait come bak to meee!!! Y uze run away??? Nao I haz a sad and coldee feetees becuz mii slippees rund away. How do slippees run away?
Myne seem 2 run awai in teh nite wen ai haz 2 get up to go fer a liddle walk. Dey aer nebber ware Ai fort Ai leff dem!
Fur a liddle walk or a piddle walk … oohhhh, maybee i not post to say dat? But I usually need to goes fur a piddle walk when I gets up in da nitenite time … (not dat i piddle WHEN iz is walkin’) ohhh… deer!
Ai noe wat u meen! Yep it is a “call uv naytsher” walk, but Ai was 2 purrlite 2 sai so!
I nawt always too purrlite. i twy, but dem i duz sumtink like dat postee up above here … *looks ashammed and shuffles da feets*
Nawt tu bee shamooed abowt! Weez bee berry tawlarunt arownd heer. Uh huh!
{{{Elsa-Mama}}} Dere, u can has a hugz!
tanks & jeeps AfriCat! OK I no bee ashammed bout talking bout piddles in the nite!
Shore! Wee (snerk!) all duz it.
At least now Bernice can tell lef from rite.
ai can haz yur tenshun plz?
.
a fing haz comed tu mai tenshun, an ai haz a favur tu ask uv ebreewun. /lolspeek
.
Yes, I’m going to college and taking a one-year vet assistant course so I have better skills to work with animals. I was NOT expecting anyone to email me with an apology for saying something different than what I said, just because of that.
.
I will gladly share anything that I learn. But there are a lot of highly intelligent, educated, and experienced folks in here, and a few months of college sure as BC doesn’t make me infallible!
.
If I ever, ever start acting like a legal professional, or a vet tech, or CC help me, an aerobics instructor, plz tu hedbat me until I come back to my senses, okay? The LAST thing I want is for anyone to not offer different perspectives! (well, losing awsum frenz iz awlso the last fing, an teh whirrld ending, but, y’know)
.
otay, nao bak tu yur regyoolarly skejooled lols, an ai haz tu step owt fur a bit. bak laytur!
{{{{{PK}}}}}
*starts chant, Obama style* {{{{{PK}}}}}, {{{{{PK}}}}}, {{{{{PK}}}}}
{{{{pk}}}}
gud luuk wif teh skool!
I no finks no wunz tinks uz is a “no it tall.” Iz not post much, but it seemz too mii dat eberybudy luvs da PK …
Moar skoolin is alweys a gud fing, gud luck, lern stuff. However, duz yer list cover the onliest cases ware we kin hed bat yew or is it still a Cheezfrenz Discretionary call?
prysma, i can say wifout resurvashun dat you be my favrit vettech and are fun 0 win n awesum!
aerobics instrucktorz in league wif basement cat *nods lots*
Yu guis iz silleh, an ai lubs yu.
Jus wanned tu maek tihs berry cleer, iz awl.
.
an Judson, iz discretionary.
Uh oh Bernice – ur slippers are full of angreez!
burfday fairy iz still in a miff taht wp eeted hur big cheezburger bbq cookowt party her maded yesterday. but i must go on wif my dooty ob wishing a big HAPPEE BURFDAY to evreewun hoo haz a burfday today!! an yesterday too (hmmpf, stoopy wurdpress) today iz teh burfday ob AndromedaOcelot and icanhazcoffee, an yestirday wuz bunny-Revenge’s burfday. we’ll try teh cheezburgers agin – burgerz on teh grill wif yor choyse ob chedder, swiss or pepper jak cheeze an all teh fixings!! along wif vejji burgerz for teh vejematarians. an tater chips, wich iz being tater krisps in TTI, an chips in TTI iz fryez heer in burfday fairy land, so we gots all 3 kinds!! along wif tater salad an cowboy beenz, an is kreem an fudjy burfday caeks for dezzert, an icy kold refreshing lemmingade, sodypop, an beer. an goodie bags filled wif yoyos taht wissle “wabash cannonball” wen tehy wissle:
an kandeez, an puffy cheezburger stikkers!! an a big swish ob teh burfday wand to make all yor burfday wishes com troo!!!
teh cozmoz be conspiring aginst burfday fairy, ifinkso)
youtube.com/watch?v=_yRAsxURpuU (sorry, haz to make cut-an-payst linkie insted ob conveenyent clik-on linkie so wp wn’t eet teh party) (i likes dis better tahn yestirdays “orinj blossom speshul” anywayz)
an also ittybitty coloring buks wif pikshurs ob kittehs, an 5 crayons in yor favrit colors – kan color teh kittehs in any color yoo want!! an not eben habbing to stay in teh lines!!
———-***¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭****
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(an wuldnt yoo kno it, teh furst time i wented to post dis, my internets borked!!
burfday fairy also cannot be cownting. tater chips/krisps an tater chips/fryz be TWO kinds. not three.
*sigh* mebbee iz time for vakashun wif teh comfy not-ferrit slippers an teh nebber-ending refreshing bevrij mug tidmum gibbed me.
{{{{{burfday fairy}}}}}
ai wuz hoaping yoo had fownd a noo kinda tater fingy!
*cullers alla kittehs pink*
*cullers a cupple moar kittehs blak*
well, tehrs also teh tater salad!
{{{{burfdai fairy}}}}
We haz free kyndz in TTI. Dere aer crisps dat `Mericans cawl chips, chips dat u cawl fries an potato sticks dat aer teh siez uv matchsticks an fried so dey aer crisp rite throo.
wut kinda beenz do da cowboys haz and why iz wii gunna be eetin dem?
oh, tehy iz beans (liek pinto beenz or kidney beans) cuked in kind ob a spicy sawse, liek cowboys yoosed to eet a lot ob beenz owt on teh cattle drives, an tehy iz delishus wif teh hamburgers an cheez burgerz!!
iz also knowd az “ranch beenz”
Ahhh… soundz reely yummmiiii! I likee spicy stuffs … I wuz jest worried iffin da cowboys new you had cookeded der beenz …
adn iffin they wantid tehm bak…
{{{{{burfdai fairy}}}}}}}
**culurs teh kittehs yella an gibs dem all diffrunt culur strypez**
Omai, tanks burfday fairy! aifinkso ai wud liek a burger adn teh tater salad and a bittee bit uv teh beenz! anaifinkso ai kumbaklayter foar teh caek (ooh! fudge!)
{{{bf}}}
*cullers wun uv teh kittehs midnytblu adn pink*
*cullers anuver won midnytblu adn lellow*
*cullers wun midnytblu adn skyblu*
*grinz*
Happeh burfday!
*dusts of soam ob de glitter of ICHCs coffee mug*
soaree bout dat…
*grinz*
tanks and jeeps Nennepus!
anai will jus go freshen mai cawfeeup a bit, naow…
*grins again*
{{{{Burfday fairy}}}}}
colours awl de kittehs purplol wif pink dots and cubbers dem wif glitter ai hadded in may pokkets!
Ooooh – shiney!
*sneezes*
*sends glitter all ober de cheezpeeps*
Ooooh – eben moar shiney!!!
*luks at shinee furr*
oooh, fangQ Nennepus!
*colurs kittehs pink wif purplol spots*
*luks arownd, luks up tu teh skie*
omai! teh wevverman dint sai it wud bee snowin glitter tudai
Dah wevverman nevah knowz dah wevver, aifinkso.
I hoops der is nawt gitter in da cake… unless it bee eatable glitter! Ohhhh shiney noms!!
Yay! eetabul glitter!
{{{{{{{{{{ burfday fairy }}}}}}}}}
Ooooh, culuring buk!
*culurs teh kittehs tu luk lyk raynbo-stryped tabbehs*
*noms cheezburger an lemmingade an sum tater-fingees*
What happens is you make icanhascheezburger readers shoot soda out their noses…
aouch – dat hurts
Dats not were da bublols ar suppoasd tu be!
haha, well, they definitely look cute. Just dont know how comfortable slippers with razor sharp teeth are gonna be
For some reason, this quote needs to be read by David Attenborough.
nice marmots.
OHNOES MY TOSES THE FERRETS R NOMMING THEM
These are funny looking cats?
ooh…poor Bernice