CNN We’ve decided to save money by replacing our stock analysts with cats who are just as accurate.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: Mayor_Lolz
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mai fayvrit graff!
iz teh graff-feetie!
so dis is the wun to use fer charting the London Footsie?
can’t be teh stok mahrkt. Is goin up!
Aifinkso iz teh cyoot index
an mai favrit graffers! much better tahn Excel, aifinkso!
does U like gnu plot gammacat?
conga ratz gammacat! wii kan danssing tu teh thai bue took? an a wun anna too anna…
Conga-rates tew Calicocoa and teh Gammacat!!! May yer happycharts go alwaes up! Drinkees and dancees?
thankee Missy! martoonies for everwun! is almost tyme to go home!
aoow fankz missy. dat saooo nais! mebbeh teh red whyne? pea-no noar ohr mebbeh teh zinnfunndell… dat taysting lurvlee wif teh chawklit nomz…
you has teh good taystees…zinfunndell it is…awld vynes….PAWP goes teh cork!
nomnomnom deelishimus! ai haz teh nais beeg chumk ob daaark choklit, sum dryed cherriez, sum bloo cheez, sum wallnut bred. plennee foar awl!
Graff, a graff agraff,
dey call ‘em teh graffer.
Graff, graff, graff,
u kno wat he’s affer.
Teh Jaggerz ref, FTW!
Whollly Moelly!!! Aye furgot aboot dat!!
an much easier on teh eyes!
cats r MORE accurate aifinksew
I gree. CNN, stawp insulting kittehs, this instunt!
Sumwun cawl Merrill Lynch.
Wuz posed tu bee “Mew”erril Lynch.
WaCatvia… I. P. Morgan…
Cat-i-Bank, Felinity Investments
Kittehs…will count things against you
Nawt in dis kays. Dis iz deyr big oppchewnity to tayk ober teh whirld. Dey hab $2.15 in teh bank adn aer wunnering wich country to buy furst.
Now with hourly updates on Kewt Index
~Splort~
Ack!
Comes runnin’ with CCC – wee-oooo weeooo!
My, big ol’ splort….
Sweeps braynes into a pile, rinses them with mineral water.
Tuck braynes gently into branium and replaces head bones.
Pulls CHRG(wdoi) over D.R.’s scalp, tapes it with 200-mph racer tape (for extra security).
Helps D.R. to the Splort Recovery Ward, wrapped in a Cheezmap blanik.
Here, have some hot cocoa and a chocolate octopus, and avoid further splorts by thinkin’ about taxes…..
Hai Kittehlessjon! Ack???? LOL!!
Awlmoast pikchoor prrrrrrfekt reskew! Well dun!!
.
but tell me! Haz yoo bin lurking???? Seems to mee it cud bee. . . .
Hai, Janet! I have been lurking mostly lately. My lolspeak skills are not highly developed, so I tend not to comment unless I feel it’s something I can speak to – like North Carolina barbecue or the difference between the USA and the UK.
I hope your finger surgery goes well. I’ll say a prayer for you, and for KCTailkinker, as well.
U saved mah lyfe, thanks
Oh noes….. less sea
**sweepin up da braynes inna big pyle**
**washez dem off wid purr meown ten wadder**
**pourez bak inna hed, replaize bonz**
**wrappitety wid da duckie taype**
**wrapz up DR inna floofy purplol blankie and gibs him(?) a chonklik arma dillo**
Yu rest naio
Thanks
Mama an four kittehs, whew
Four yittle floofehs and da mama-floofeh too!!!!
Blargh!! Ai ar ded!!!
Ded? Oar onlee AWLMOAST ded?
Mostlee Ded…Pincess Bride…FTW
Butt duz he has sumpting to lib four?
THANKS olldlurker!!
! Ai NOO ai dint hav it KWITE rite! Glad yoo cud see it eneway!
Nuttin like a gud MLT.
Dere are bein’ a differnce atween mostlee ded an’ awl ded.
Mostlee ded, is bein’ slytlee aliyv. Awl ded, well, dere’s onlee wun ting to do wit awl ded.
Look in der fud bowl for leftovahs.
Wow, she made copies uf herself really gud!
In Giness world Records`09, There’s a record for most sucsessful chimp on Wall Street
Teh kittehs wud bee mawst succesful – teh’s alreddy in tuxie soots – very formul.
Actually, McDonald’s same-location sales were up 7.1% in January, so cheezbergur-loving cats would have probably been able to capitalize on such eventualities.
Win!!
Budjit cuts are eberyware.
My mahm prolly nawt has job by end of dis yeer.
{{rhsb & rhsb’s mawm}}
ia has my paws crossed for yew and for teh eeek-con-nommee
Fanks, gc.
I lyk hao teh cween spelled it teh uther day: Eek-no-nommies!
{{{{rhsb n rhsbmom}}}}
Ai alsoe haz the nawt-job ryt nao – is most ikee! Butt ai may bee cawlded bak inna few weeks cuz sum uvvers haz bin cawlded bak awlreddy anai am nawt-therd in lyn.
*cwossez evrypart taht can bee cwossd*
*decydz cwossing eiz wuz bad ideea, uncwossez eiz*
Ai hoep ur mahm can haz keepingwerkjob!
ooh i hopez u getz called baks sooon! wif ebberbody else getting da lay off, dat put mine wurkz in da danger. pleez ebberybodi bakz tu wurkz wif razez soon!!
teh eek-noe-nommies iz teh bad ryt nao – mai werks is baced awn teh peeps buyinstuffz – ai fixez teh semi traylers taht teh guddiez getz teh careedarownd in, an wen noebudee iz byin stuffz teh cumpneez doan haz needz uv teh careearownd traylerz bein fixded…an wif teh noe munneez bein erned, noebuddee iz byin teh stuffz…
Much werser vishus cerkle tahn teh tayl-chasin kynd!
So, yespleez, ebrybuddee bak to werks sune! Hurree! Wifaqwikness!
*wisperz*
an tanku berry muchlee fur teh gudhoepsanwishez, 3km.
I was watchin teh address tonite, iz why I dint get here til late.
I hopes teh stoopy partisan stuff can be putted asied, and we can get some halps for u, and teh otter peeps hoo has losted their jobs. I has a hope.
{{{{{{{{{icanhazcoffee}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{icanhazcoffee}}}}}}}}
) fur yoo too!!!
Ai joyne ebreewun else in hoeping that this nitemare fur so menee will sune be ober!
Teh cerkle iz indeed vishus!
An soooo menee reelee nice peeps laik yoo ar hurting
.
An ai will cross ebreething (cept mai ayes
I has a sad
Snorgles to u and ur Mom
{{{rhsb & Mom}}}
Tabby Blitzer! Anderson Kittyper!
ai lubs Andersun Kittypurr…himz beautimuss!
Careful, Warewolf Blitzer gets crankee on Halloweenie.
gud fing iz nawt Halloweenie teim!
***saunters awf humming “warewoofs awf Lundun”***
At leest teh kittehs r dressed fur success.
Iz gud teh kittehs donut haev tew chaing closs…no monies fur knu fur.
and will wurk for gooshie fuds and nipz
& shimpies…ummm…shimpies!!
***goes tew find fishy net***
members ai in OhaiO…no ocean…haz a sad!
Oh, didn’t teh Lake Earee fishermens bring u enny goodies wen dey waz reskewed?
aidonfinksew…tehy b luky 2b reskewed! no shimpies in Lake Earee,
aifinknawt.
Dey hab crawdads inna tributaries. dem iz beddur den shrimps.
eeewww! crawdads be sew ugly…ai no tehy can’t help it,
butt eeewww!
Just luk adn tayste liek a littlol lawbstur.
ai only eat teh tale…don bring ded body.
Teh braynes is teh bestest part!
eeewwww…..mawm…hez teazin me agin!
Fish heds
fish heds
rolee polee fish heds
fish heds
fish heds
eet dem up NOM!
i’ll coem tew kenturky an smack u if u
don’t stop….maaaawwwmmm, maek her
quit!!
**stiks tong owt at Serendipity**
Nyah nyah!
ai’ll catch taht tong & feed it tew teh sharks!!
beddur teh sharks den teh sham wow guy.
Anom!
She gots fins to teh left
Fins to teh rite
An hur teh onlee bate in town!
Yum!
lays out a platter of shrimps cooked many different ways
ancho chillies and shrimps
butterflied shrimp
ceviche
d..
debiled shimp caeks
ellebenty shimp bazkets
fried shimpies
giganormous shimp cocktales
h
Dubbel battered deep fwied shrimps
Exlintlee spysd boyld shrimps
Fricasseed and serbd over wild ryc
Gumbo!
H…
hot cajun shimps
illegally catched shimps
jumbo shimps
kleverly disguised shimps
luciousloly large shimps
m
Marinated shimps
Nommed shimps
Orinj (nawt poyzin) glazed shimps
Peeled shimps
Q…
quickly sauteed shimps
reely beeg shimps wif butter
sechuan shimps
thai shimps wif tofu & rice noodloles
u
underwatter shrimps very freshest
very nommie shrimps
watercrest an shrimps
xcellent shrimps
y….
yummeenommee shimps
zookeenee stuft wif shimps…
adn taht’s abowt awl…
Y…becawz we lubs tehm!
Z..zactly enyway tehy be maed
THE END
An just WHERE iz Mary O’Spockn wif awl these shrimp being tawked about?
Prolly quietly salivating somewhere and she has NO idear why.
U guies is remindin me of Bubba in Forrest Gump!
Bubba Gump shimps, at yer cervix…taeks a bow!
oops…service…
rhsb, y u gots shimps at ur cervix?!? lolololol
Eeewwww…..
Hur iz wearing luckee out?
Ai noes. Off tu teh NB.
oh noes****shakes hed****teh imige iz killin meh!
WRr!
Doan make me has to beet u! Agin!
ooh dat waz tuu funniez
OMCC, ai’m LMHO…teh tears!!!!
iz okeh. cervix awlso meening teh neck.
doan fink dat waz wear WRr waz goin wif taht!!
meh neever…
****ai no…awf tew teh NB wif WWr****
Red iz gunna haz an angree!
…an a jellus.
U can always come wif us.
No fanks.
2′s cumpnee, fwee iz a crowd.
Ai wuz gunna set up teh warm mud wrasslin pit.
Adn haz teh hawt tub reddee fur teh winnur.
Whoz gonna rassle? Me an yoo?
I finkso u needz tu go tu deh C D Motel… It b just down deh rode a wayz and haz awl deh a men iteez u kud wanting …. eben deh vibrating bedz….
Itee mens? DO NOT WANT!
I like men of burl!
I’m wif LCB.
My dad is teh skinnee. I skeered I gonna bork him ifn I hugs him 2 hard.
Not itty menz!! A Men Iteez!! u noez, men fur deh teezing…. adn mebbe moar….
*looks askanse at teh cween*
Teezing? U means they will dids my hairs for me?
**luuks in mirror**
Yah, I could go foar a noo hare-do.
Wat I gots nao iz moar of a hare-dont.
Whare is PhatCat? She is teh bestest hare dressifier. She maded GP look like teh Jonny Depp.
Uuummm…. Ya, dey fixifyingz ur harez… if dat b wut u wantz
i gotz a hare dontz tu!! i tink dere shuld b a club fur dat.. lik da menz club fur da harez
wuz growing itz fur da lockz fur lubz, but cheked da kalificashinz and don’t tink dey wantz mine harez
Oooor, iz derr men tu teez???
*gits teh ebil thooots*
ai mented it tu be *…ebil thawtz*
Mai missgided fingerz – let me show u them…
Well, it iz a C D Motel.
CNN iz gonna becum a circus iffs dey bring owt teh laser poynter.
@@@@@@@@@@@@!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!
@@@@@FTW!!!
brillyant!!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@^elebentyith
U mean… like this one?
*shines laser pointer on set, waits for clowns and elolphants to appear*
Sorree LCB. Teh lolofants adn teh clowns nawt awn until aftur teh fyre eeter adn teh lyon tamer.
Oar iz dat teh lyon eeter adn teh fyre tamer? Ai getz dem confuzzled awl teh tyme.
ooohhhh! shinee dot!
*scamperscamperscamperscamperscamperscamper*
*heffhuffpuffoff*
*sits down to dwink lymon-ade and wash face*
Tat iz soz cuit!!!!!!! Da kittehs r doin a grate joub!
Eeny, meeny, miney, Meow….kitteh’s say which way will go…
Kitteh says iz going up?
No, sumwon juss froo him a fevver toi.
Ai truzd deez prognostickaters more den stokk analysisers, aifinkso!
Kittehs r gonna want kickbacks frum cheezburger cumpanies.
But, Ifn I letz my kitties picks my stox, I think my porfolmeow will be skewed to companies that only sellz tuna and catnip!
taht mite not bee a bad thing! kittehs shew pointee ends if teh supply of tuna an nip dry up!
and cheezbuergers…and shinee fings…and sawftee blankees…
Actually, ur porfolmeow may be kwite well rounded.
Hmm, afinkso you and gammacat r right. Kitties pixs teh important things
in life!
Ur outta monies?
Oh, I see ur prolem…ur stock analyst iz a kitteh.
im in yr portfolio
selling ur stox
at a loss
now is time fr my bonus
and nap
Rhsb’s boifren iz obur awn teh lolcelebs! Sham-WOW!
hoaw u no taht?!? Ai fout rhsb jest gotted unhitched frum teh *whispers…..*
O, rhsb an teh shamwow gui been a itum fur a while. Her lubs his pointee hayres, an hiz too-fast speech patturn.
I’m gonna show u my poynty enz ifn u nawt stawpit!
U nawt haz teh boots awn tudai? NAwt need the pointee endz.
Hur gonna get BOFE if hur nawt keerful.
Kin yew git me a disscownt awn a shamwow to kleen up teh blud?
**pats rhsb awn hur floofeh red hed** Kalm down dere red, ai jist kiddun wif yew. **wundurs wut itz gonna be lyke to be kwittin buddee if she’s dis grumpee nao**
***kunsidurs buyin a pointee-end file, an a sleepun pill**
Trazadone is nyse.
Mai goggie is lukkin at me cuz ai am all alone and laffin mai hed awf.
**glares at PH**
WUT did u say?!?!
Jist fink, wen him frows teh tabul aside to grab yew and kiss yew, he kin cleen up teh mess wif teh sham-wow!
NO. FANK. YOO.
Teh onlee boifren I gots rite nao is Lucky. Dats it. No moar.
Nawt eben enny fomin a line behind him.
**snif snif**
Yews a fikklol wummun, rhsb.
Why u say dat?
Ifn u kinnawt be wif teh wun u lubs
Lubs teh wun ur wif.
**goes luukin foar Lucky**
*roflmao*
*wipes laf-teers from eyes*
an on dat note, gotta go home and tayke care of mai kittehs!
yew guize are teh bestest!
{{cheezfrens}}
{{rhsb & Lucky}}
after watching mai kittehs lounge around this weekend, ai has decided to come bak as a kitteh in my next life.
Oh, yesh!
Dere biggest desishun is ware to sleep an wen to eet.
I wanna be a howsekitteh in my next lyf!
In teh sun. NE tyme kitteh iz nawt sleeping oar using teh littur bawks.
Sumtymes, kittehs has choyse of sunspots.
he sed***whispers to rhsb that teh (insert bad words here) waz on
lolcelebs***
***glares at PH awlso***
Wows, there iz a lotta glare in here! **putz awn sunglassiz**
weirdpress eated mai commintz…ai sed we gotta find rhsb a gnu
fellow…manly, not neanderthal, but nawt woosie eiver!
Purr-zacklee!
Nawt shure ifn him egg-sists, tho.
ai heer a tale about him…maebe liek beegfoot, butt, sumware
dere must b won…sumware…ai luking tew!
weirdpress sumtaims haveing wierd sens of teh rite adn teh nawt riet.
kitteh nom ikz
Ai spoze ai beddur kleen up dis kitchun an dew sum laundree. Mai eggcytun life, let me show yew! Gudnite, cheezpeeps!
Itteh Bitteh Stock Picking Committeh!
@@@@@
Ai be awf to bed soonly…haev tew put out puppy frum hell fer last potty break…
nite nite awl! mai kittehs r so mush easier…luv u guys {{{hugs}}} to y’all.
ohai! who’s still heer?
I needs to ax a flavr, er, favr!
Ai beez heer butz prolly not mush help
wats can we be tryin tu helpz yu wif?
Yo!! i b heer!! wussup??
ohai!!
I has made annownsmints about teh birfday stuffs tomorrow, but I forgotted that I can’t be on until after it’s sposed to start!!!
Can u start teh partee for ZF tomorrows at teh 2nd lol mai cween?
I has a Dr. Tinycat appt… shud be atwerks about an hour after teh festivities start.
I fink dat b due ablol!!
Lessee……. dat b deh 3am ICHC lol … plus 5 owerz…… I hatez hiyer mafz…… it wud b 8am heer…. I will prolly bu up….. oooo…. dotz……
ooh fank u cweenie!
I has left prezzies b’low, for ZF and Caretroll.
I will be there in tiem for nativeca. But WUT to get hims????
*puzzles*
I kno!
Ware plaid flannlol pajamas. Dat will be enuf.
whut?
Men iz so tuff tu shop fur.
I dunno.. I thotted uv a millyun things for Maus..
.
If u want to cc and paste anyfing, I maded an updated annownsmint on teh 2 pm (ur time) lol, wif some extra names that wern’t in teh original nownsemint.
Ai nawt fink ai can halps. teh buildur mans wantz tu meet wif me sumtiem tumorrow…Him iz liek teh cablol guy, will shoe up ennee tyme between 9am adn 7pms.
oh, and can hooever halps plz give my bestest most speshul birfday to ZF AND Caretroll???
I has a majick metro gnome for ZF, that will halp her beet teh tiem into anyone she’s playing wif that won’t stay in lien.
And for Caretroll, hiz very own…. Underwatter Debreefing Kit! He can practis wif in case he ever makes it up to teh above watter whirld. Tell him I sed sponges make teh gud test subjeckts!
Got it!!
*SCHMOOOOOOS teh cween*
.
oh btw I herd from DK, she sed they were going to try and do hur surgerie tonite… hopefully if they did everything wented ok!
Ai be habbin a berry spezial neu hat for nativeca66 butz ai wont be hoam til laet. Wurk…Pleh…Paychek…niice. Seez yall then
if’n sumbuddy gibz mii da kwik tutor i canz probly halp cuz da wurkz has ben bery sloooow
Ifinkso itz covered, but if wants u can shadow teh cween tomorrows, so u is gettin on teh job traning!
*snert*
There’s not really anyfing to it cept wut u see…
Ushually we try to say somethin on teh lol rite before to remindify everyone taht there is a party on teh next lol.
I wudda tried to do a race, but I has such a bizzy atwerks, and I noo I cudn’t be there on tiem..
i will be da shadowz an gud studentz soiz i can halpz in da futurez.. gud nite cheez peepz cee uz tuzdayz
Schmoooz!!! see ya tumorrow!!
ifinkso I is hedding to beds tu.
fangs again mj, c u tomorrows!
I think I saw on a previous lol that you were looking for sinus-clearing products. I have found that rubbing a tiny dab of a muscle rub like Ben Gay or A535 on my forehead and nose will do wonders for clearing the sinuses. I think it is the capsaicin (hot pepper juice) in the rubs that does the trick, like eating spicy food. Just be really careful to wash your hands and DO NOT GET IT IN THEEYES! I get sinus headaches a lot, and have found this little trick to be quite effective. Good luck!
Harry! hao NICE ov yoo to stawp bai wif this gud advice!
.
Do yoo nermallee just lurk??
I am usually here in the middle of the night, so I just mostly enjoy the LOLs and the comments, but occasionally I stick my 2 cents worth in somewhere!
yesh, thank u sew much Harry! ♥
You’re welcome!
I’m still heer, but nawt foar long.
Wazzup?
I needed halp, c above.. hopefully mj can halps.
.
Sew, we needs to start planning teh Luv Sux partee, rite?
I nawt kin halp 2morro, cuz werk be crackin down awn innertoobs yoosidj. I kin onlee get awn durin brakes an lunch, an dey go by kwik!
Yah, I finkso wii needs “Lub Stinkx” partee awn Caturday. U be heer? Unless sumfin happens, I prolly be heer.
Not durin teh day.. I is going on an all day hike… 9.7 mi wif a fully loded backpak! This is my test hike, to make shur I can do teh trip to Floridah in 2 week week weeks!
But I shud be around later.. unless I is in sew much pain from teh hike that I can’t move…
Ai iz heer fur a littlol.
Frenz, I finkso I gonna get inna bed an try to sleeps.
Hazza gud nite/day/wutebber!
I lubs u guies so hard! {{{{cheezfrenz}}}}
Nyt skwirrlgrrl, nyt 3kittymomma, nyt rhsb…nyt Jimbob, nyt Maree Elen…..
U haz teh sweetdreemz!
Vell, me findes dis untastey. Kittehs be much more informesh than teh bobbly furless monkeyish criterz on cnn.
CNN = Cat Nip Network…well, in this case…
WOW! This is a photo I submitted! It’s from a cat shelter outside Gothenburg, Sweden, and this lovely mother cat Tjorven got a home last week. All her kittens got new homes, as well
Go to http://www.djurenssamarittjanst.se if you wanna see more 
This is so cool, I love LOLcats, never thought one of my pics would make it here 
Pardon for not speaking lol, I’m too excited.
Yay!!! Dat b egg salad nooz!!! I duz a dans uv joyz fur u!!
dans dans dans
adn anuzzer danz fur deh kittehz awl gitting noo homez!!
dansy dans dans twurl adn spin adn dans dans dans!!!
I dun unnerstand wai dere are alwyz communts wen ai luk at pitchers… wen do dese hoomins sleep?
Is dat a litterbawks nex tu teh graf? Dus dat meen teh eek-o-nommee is in teh toiletZ??!!
hohai icanhazastockopshun’
I fink u reedz it rite tu left. Uddur wey doan maek no sens.
cheezburgerz is up
goggies is down
we poops on yer bonusssuz
i gives dis picture 5 cheezburgers!
i likes to callz it ‘communist news netwurks’
lolz nice names i thinks!
Ohai! Ennee wun owt der? I luvs teh blak n wyte kittehs. Minz me ov mai kitteh.
Oyes … ai stwl nawt be eng abel tu tell Lol Time. Ai noes itz egg splaned sumwair, but iz tew hard to fink abowt. *hidz behind cowch in shame* *peeks owt*
Be der a Lol Time konverter sumwair?
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