first U must answer
first U must answer meh riddles three if U are rite, den U may pee!
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: jason_skooter
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Is this a urine test?
:snerk: adn congaratz fur deh nawt-sekkund commint!!
urine trubble nao!
Dat depends…
ai wud jus pee on da kitteh then and thare. teech him who da bos iz.
teh pointy ends on ur nether ends….i finkso
Yesh, mefinkso tu!
LOL!!!
ur not in trubble, urine da bafroom
* scampersinwibakwikness *
.
Ohai LCB! Heer ai has mai urine sample fur yu, juss in thyme tu!
.
* trips adn spills urine sample awl ober LCB *
.
Umm… sry, was an ‘aksidunt’, uh huh, yesh…
Silly GP. That was applol juise!
*stands next to GP and shakes self dry wif a vigorousness*
mmmMMMmmm steel warm, juss hao ai lieks eet!
.
Wud yu liek sum ob dese umm… ‘chokklit raisins’? Ai borted dem speshully juss fur yu…
O, u is teh sweet, but no thx. U can has them. Go ahed, eet them now before they goes stales.
umm… err… umm… no fankies, Dr Tiny Piggeh sed ai shud nawt nom aneefing wib kwotashun marks in teh nayme… uh huh, yesh… aifinkso yu yoosed tu has taht condishun, yes?
I herd teh kwotashun marks cud cause teh blokages.
That’s only if u doesn’t drink enuff applol juise.
warm, jus laik yu laik it?
donut forget freshly skwozed!
“Mabye.”
Ai ‘unnerstand’ yu ‘perficklee’
Good. By teh way, ur job “performance” of late has been “exceptional”.
Has ai towld yu todai? Yu is lukking ‘byootimuss’
“Thank” u.
@@@@@
I hopes u pass ur test.
Everyone passes teh urine test. One way or another.
*wonders what is ‘another’*
*desieds she duzznt wanna know*
Well, lessee…
All over teh flore
By cheating
Clenching teefs together, not necessarily ur own
Doing a peepee danse
E…
Extrakting samples frum otter peeps
Fouren legion, joyning
Goin hoam insted
Hasta go? nawt yet!
I…..
Imitating kontorshunist
Jumpin up an daon
Keepin legs crossed
L…
LOLleeng tu hard, hazzeeng aksident
Makeeng funnee facez
Nawt goweeng bee foar wee left
Omai! ai hazza go naow!
Peepeeing onna twee
Qwikqwik – oopsie, neber mynd
ROFLMAOPIMP (waaaay tu eezee heer!)
S…
ima onn me psp
Ai hazn’t tiem fur riddlez, gedd off it
riddlol me dis, riddlol me dat
hoo is afreid of teh bullying cat?
Mah bladder izn’t fraid, but iz shy.
Mabye it just needs to get out moar.
I’z tryin to get it owt, butts teh cat won’t moob.
Inna pinch (axually if its nawt a pinch) mens finds teh sink can be successfully employed.If in Fronsch, you ken use dat really low water fountain fing.
Wimmenz tu kinbee uzin teh sink, butt (*snerk*) teh porselin iz berry cowd!
*faespaw* ai’z nawt ebben gonna finkabbowt hao yoo wud knoe dat…..
Emerjenseez r teh muvver uv inbenshuns…errrr, sumfin lyk dat…
Wuz bedderer dan habbin a puddlol tew kleen up!
What… Is your name?
um… Leeza.
What… Is yur quest?
Ai wud haz thort dat wuz obviuss!
Ai goez in surch ov teh holey quail!
yesh, wut Africat sed!
What… Is the softest brand of toilet paper, yet still resists shredding by kmittehs?
um….. I don’t know!
*Broooiiiinnnnnngggg*
*Since this is the Low Budget theatre version, Leeza is cast into the Training Potty of Eternal Peril*
*Named thus as it has not been emptied yet today*
um… ew
*fortunately, the Low Budget vershun of The Holey Quail was unable to afford anythnign that cud spring Leeza all teh wasy into the TPEP.*
*unfortunately, she is now hung up in a tree*
Do we have a quail-shaped beacon in the LBT version?
And how did a tree end up in the bathroom anyway?
One of teh Knights of Ni had to go.
She’s a skwirrl, her baffrum IZ a tree!
*ahem*
I’m not reely a skwirrl. I just play one on ICHC.
does yu get a good tune out ob it?
But yew are dressed as wun!
I am?
*luks at self*
I thot I had teh purplol kwilt on today!
Teh purplol kwilt luks reelee gud awn yoo! Sumtaims, ai miss
mai prittee pail bloo kwilt. . .
Did THEY dress yew like dat? **points to crowd**
We didn’t! We didn’t!
***picks skwirll nose** (dat didnawt come owt rite) Iz dis yur reel nose?
WOT r u doin??
.
no no, U keep it!
Ofankz! **wundurs wut to dew wif dis prezzie**
**luks closelee at skwirrl** Dew yew hab a wart?
*takes teh parrot’s glasses*
*cleens them and returns tehm*
dat better?
Fankz skwirll! **Nao kin see the crowd advanseeng awn skwirrl** **Stands purtectivelee in frunt ov skwirrl, putting self in grayte perul**
Yew mus nawt burn teh skwirrl!
**wispurs to skwirrl** afinkso teh answur mite be ’nuffin on erf or in spayce is resistunt to kitteh shreddin’ or teh answur mite be ‘dukky tayep’ Try dem, ai rellee hab to go!
u meen u hab to go?
or u HAB TO GO?
Less jist say dat if parruts had teff, myne wud be flowtin!
Oh, ai furgot the prudukshun. Wut ai mint to sai wuz, ai am in terrubul perul.
OT: How were teh swimmies yesturday?
yes, how was it?
at leest we know shes not ded…
Just insane…
**Finks, If we were nawt awl crazee, we wud go insane**
It wuz wundermus, az yewzhal. Was defuhnutlee moast warm wun ai hab -dun, ayre tempurshur-wize, butt waddur wuz still berry cold – 38 at time of plunj. Butt ai stayed in dah waddur froklikin fur sevvrul minits, dat wuz mai goal dis yeer. Mai huzbin wuz standin dere wif mai towel wunnerin wut teh heck iz wrong wif me. Ai yewshalle go in an unner an owt. Teh berry bestist part iz awlaiz watchun teh speshul olimpeens go in furst, they are teh berry brave. Wyle yur standin dere in yur bavvin suit, wif teh wind blowing, waytin to go in, yew want to jist leev, but watchun dem go furst maykes yew prowd and warm in yur hart. We rayzed ober 800 fowzund buks, witch is berry gud in dis ekkonomee, aifinkso.
Alsew, beefour teh plunj, yew git to watsh teh reskyew divurs put awn dere wetsyoots. May ai go awn rekkurd az sayin reskyew divurs hab got it awl ober fyremins! (but ai still lub yew too, fyremins**
What am I? Chopped liver?
Oh A YNG, ai lubs yew tew! Mebbeh yew cud show the reskyew divurs sum trikks, lyke startun frum grownd zero wen dey put awn teh wetsyoots? **Fanz self berry fast** **swoonz**
**reelyzus she uzed teh f wurd moar den wunce, hangz hed in shayme!
no, YNG, you are paté.
wow, 800 fousand?
that is awesum parrothead!!
Iz awesum, teh goal wuz wun millyun, but aifinkedso wif teh bad ekkonnomee we did berry well! Ai rayzed elebenty hunurd, maiself, witch wuz moar den ai ’specktid.
PH! **runs up an hugs hur**
Hao u doin, burd brane? Iz u awl fawed owt?
U has dun bery bery well, parrothead! Ai has a proud of u! And ai has a sad, too, cos ai cudn’t get live cubberage in Jermanee, not even on teh intert00bs. Mai bad. Ai wud so lubbed to see u in ur bavving gloree!
**hugs rhsb** Ohai mai fren! Ai iz fawed owt, butt four abowt three ours aftur teh plunj, mai legz were red an tinglee! Wuz teh fun! Did yew heer abowt teh reskyew divurs? Ai fote ov yew! **Fans self again**
{{{upfi}}} Fank yew! Ai am gonna trai tew put sum pikkshurs awn mai profile! Fanks fur finkin ov me!
{{{parrothead}}} Ai hoapz u haz had lotsa teh hot chokklit
adn warm fuzzee blankies! Iz ur fevvers dwy yet?
Adn u did berry berry gud wif deez bad ekonomeez tu haz rayzd taht manee munniez! Ai haz an impwessed!
*crosses legs*
*jumps up and down*
But ai hasta go naoooo!!!!!!!
*nok nok nok*
Kathater Kitteh
Welll, trai nawt tu fink ov runnin wader, oar a beeeg glass ov wader, oar teh rain drip, drip, drippin…
Habs u seen mah noo fountain?
*marks comment as inapropro*
cleenup on aisle 3!
Wut abowt Noah’s Ark?
Oar Niagra Falls….
Oar gushing, splashing, waturr ebburreewar…………
That is SO adorableeee!
Pleeeeeese kitteh. Does I hijack yer litterbox?
Noe, butz yu hasnt cleened it resenlee eiver!!!
Awso, litturbox not cubbered in softsoftplushyplush. If eet waz, mabye kitteh want sleep on dat insted. Awn fawlt fur cubbering toiletz wif bedding.
toilet troll
hee hee hee
I has a throne! now get me sum gooshie fuds wid nips
NOW
*danses frum fut tew fut* well den, culd yoo plz ask teh kwestyuns kwikklee? ai’z gotta goe tew teh baffroom!!
Riddlol teh nawt sekkund: Wai, iffn yu nawt sits awn tihs bit, wud yu buy a horriblol green cubber fur eet?
.
Riddlol teh nawt ferd: iffn ai is so oberwayt taht yu puts meh awn diet crunklifuds, hao cud ai get up heer awl bai myself?
.
Riddlol teh nawt forf: Hao wud teh toylit paypur get shredded adn spread awl ober teh howse wen ai is sush a well behabed kitteh?
Anser teh nawt sekkund: It matchez deh kittehz iiz
.
Anser deh nawt ferd: Kittehz b well noen fur der ability tu defy grabbity. U flew up der wif ur antigrabbity powerz.
.
Anser deh nawt forf: deh goggee did it!
Ding, ding, ding, ding: GP–yuu bees teh winnure!!!
(Naow yuu kans goe: jes shovez taht kitteh aowffa teh seet)
Kurreckshun: winner rlly bees CweenMJ
Wut duz she win, bawb?
Wut sorter pwizes mite derr bee?
Awl expensivez payd vaycayshun
Bwand nu fwat skween teebee
Chokklit suppwy fur a hooooole yeer
D…
If’n u wantz
moar burgrz wif cheez,
den vaykayt teh seet
immeedyetlee, pleez!
no no no, ur doing it rong!
ken u touch ur noze, wif teh tip of ur tongue?
Congrats to Jason Skooter fur teh excellent LOL!
Clappity clappity fur jason_Skooter! Gud jawb! Sew clebber!
I don’t see anything wrong with just peeing on the cat. It’s his own fault for being in the way.
Well!!
THAT’s a reelee pragmatik way to luk at it! Tuff luv???
Den u gots to gib teh kitteh a baff!
Do nawt want pee soaked kitteh runin round mah howse!
adn den yoo awlsew has tew baff kitteh….adn wii awl knoez hao mucchly kittehz nawt liek dem…..adn den traiink tew drai awff kitteh wiffowt geddin mawled tew badlee……adn eggzeterra….
Yes, that is exactly what he deserves, being a talking cat and all.
*hugs kafleen*
Hay, come to teh brakeroom! Ther’es caek!
{{{Kafleen}}} + {{{LCB}}}
Oh hai, ai’m cumming wif u to teh brake room
*sound of caterpillar tires screetching as she turns corners*
*lukkz araownd* caek? war?
*smawll littlol raydarr dishus eggstend adn surch teh arreya*
o boi!
*traiz tew flai dere, butt has furgotteded dat nawt has anne wingz*
*hitz grownd and brakes throo floorz*
uhhh…a littlol halp heer, plz?
*runz downstayrz wifaqwikness*
R u awlryt, DC? Duz ai needz tu cawl teh paramediks?
Duz u needz an owee cubber, mebbe a spawklee bandayd?
ohai u gais!
dere’s cake???
{{{{{{lcbandupfi}}}}}
Dere is cocomonutt caek heer at my howse. Want sum?
Iz Leeza’s favrit.
mai ai has sum plz?
ai mite needz halps geddin owt ob teh floor heer, nawt-secund…..
ur rite kafleen!
he shud have axed if annyone needed to use teh potty furst.
it’z only purrlite.
I ar bored so U iz in trubble
kthx
Ur bored kitteh
okai den…ai’z yoose othurr baffrum…..
o, adn bai teh wai, dun kum aksin meh fur yur dinnur….ai’z tew bored fur dat…sew /U/ iz in trubble…
kthnxbai….
If kitteh duz nawt move, it is kitteh who wil be en trubble.
Warm, wet trubble…
den kitteh gets da baff
Butt, I’m nawt dat smart!
**runs to go luuk foar larj cup**
hey red, how’s ur weekend so far?
Ohai, skwirrl!
Week-end nawt too bad. Wii has purty wevvers heer!
Today is far bedder tahn Caturday wuz, wevver-wyse. Dere wuz a fyre-ball inna sky, so I tuuk shower, gotted dressed, fyred up teh gas-powered hare dryer (car) an went dribin. Nuffin lyk blastin Nikklolbak ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yhf4Il8-ctY ) whyle dribin down teh parkway in teh sun wif teh winners down! It wuz awsum.
I iz teh comfee heer. Ur too-full bladder iz nun of my conserns.
It will be if ai am tu buzzee cleening up to open Ur gushifud tudai.
Ohai, WRr!
Mens hazzit alot eezyur tahn wimmens wen it comes to dis problem.
ohai WRR ‘n’ RHSB!
hmmm…ai gess sew…..
aktchuallee, troo stowree, wun tiem awn a Boy Scout campink trip…..
wellz, wun ob teh peepz dere wuz teh mom ob wun ob teh scowtz….annewaiz, wun ob teh scowtz, afturr hurr haddeded askeded abowt teh wareabowtz ob teh latreenz, hadded sed dat teh choyse wuz beetween Pine adn Oak….
dere wuz a lawng, awkwerd sailense afturr hims sed dat……*snerk* hims lurned suun afturwerds tew nawt sai dat agian….
**snikkerz**
Wayle, it wuz teh troof!
tew maek fingz ebben werse, hims reepeeteded it a secund tiem……
o boi…wen hur(teh purrsun hims wuz tawlkink abawt) herd obb wut hims sed………..
*shaeks hed* ai wud sai dat teh fur flaied, butt wuz nawt kwite dat badd….
kloas, butt nawt kwite….
adn den, tew liek, putt teh lasst nayul inn hims cawfinn(sew tew speek), hims den sed dat hurr choyses wurr grassez oar pien strawz…….
afturr dat, teh furz /did/ flai…..
sheesh…ai wuz berree immachur att dat tiem……butt ai wuzznt annewar /neer/ dat badd!!!!!
DK, yu maed me laff so hard (well, yu knoes teh rest ov it)!!!
.
boi skout humer – ai rememembers wen my brudder wuz wun. his idea of grate joek alwais inbolbed liting farts…
oh….ai has /lawts/ adn /LAWTS/ ob otthur joaks liek doze….ownlee teh wun ai sed aktchualle applaiez heer, tho…..
Monty Python! Now, we add de Holy Hand Grenade to potty and make big boom!
Esplodin potty – do nawt want!
eggspeshuallee iff yur yoosink it…..
dat wudd bii werse dat dose awetowmatikk toylettz dat flush wen yoo nawt want dem tew, amirite?
My SIL losted hur fone down wun of dem wunse.
owch…..wuz hur tawlkink awn itt wen hur losteded itt?
aktchuallee, dere wuzza cartoon inn teh noozpaypurr abawt dat dat ai ramemburrz reedink…..
Stoopy RL iz bodderin me! Ai see yew cheezpeeps laydur!
Kitteh has power of Royal Flush
Ai thort ownlee laydeez uv a sertin aij gotted Royal Flushis.
Oh, fergot dat in `Merica iz a flash, nawt flush liekin TTI.
Wutebber dey iz cawled, nawt luukin foarwerd to dem!
Dey aern’t inebitabul – Ai eskayped dem, juss got a slite blush but nawt bad liek sum peepl get.
Not be scared rhsb….da plus side is no monthly visitors!!!!
Oh, annipuss, I bin havin da Royal hot Flashes since I turn 46!!!
yoo meen liek teh powkurr hand?
(att leest aifinkso dat iz wut dat iz….)
Dat’s teh best kyned!
nawt dat ai wudd knoe annefink abowt powkurr annewaiz…..ai dun plai itt…
Me neever – Ai nebber got ennee ferver dan snap!
ai jusst nawt plaiz att awl……
An wee awl noe dat teh Royal Flush beets awl uvver pokeher handz!
i can answar teh kitteh’s kwestchuns!
Mah name is rose, mah quest is tew pee, and mah favrit colr iz blue!
*kitteh jumps off toilet seat*
OMCC it workd
**hollers down hall**
Kin sumbodee shake teh crunchyfuds contaynur? Teh kitteh’s sittin awn teh terlet, refyoosin to moov, an I gotta pee!
Nao, DAT iz resose…resauce…resurs…SMRT solushun!
adn wyse, tew boot!
Fanks foar teh complimints, guies.
When u iz owned by a gynormus kitteh dat kin be teh stubburn, u has to get creatib!
Iff dat not werk, gwab teh can openerer lyk ur gunna openify teh gushifuds can..
Wut about teh popo?
wut r dis popo? I noes abowt teh popo plattur @ teh chineese restyrant.
iz teh popo-vers? tehy r yummie
Popoverz?!?!??!?!?! Want!!!
Ohai, mai cween! *bowz* ai’d gib yoo sum chokklit, tew, butt ai’z fresh owt obbit….
haoebbur, ai duz hab dis popobbar heer…yoo wanttit insted?
Hey my cweenies howbees u???
*jumps up and dwn up and dwn wif joy to talk to cweenie*
Me haz new kitteh
u haz a new kitteh!??!
congrajumulashuns!!!!
yesh me haz new kitteh his name is Sirus Dalton The Third *giggles at such an inventive cool name*
*popdonk*
mee too! mee too!
MMhh egyptiun catz is striking ooman again wif wiked riddle!
O noze, iffen ai doan kno teh ansers duz taht meen ai gotta uze teh sand baux insted? Ai dunnawt fink ai am taht flexible aneemoar. If ai eber wuz. Wich iz dowtful.
huh…..
O.o
wai duz ai gitz weerd thots abowt dat…?
WRr- I mite be offishulee singlol BEFOAR Mardee Graws!
My lolyer sed if teh paypurrs get fileded awn tyem, den teh judj mite deklare us diborsed awn Feb 17th.
Ifn teh paypurrs nawt get fileded awn tyem, den I gotta wate until March 3rd.
**crawses paws an ebyfing eles dat will craws dat teh paypurrs get fileded awn tyem**
sorry nawt wrr butt (hee, hee) taht’s teh BESTEST mews!
.
an fangs fur keepin us up to date on teh boss’s fix-up gui at werk. ai didnt knoe teh fix-up gui werks tehre, too – yu is smrt an wyse to fink rly hard aobut dat.
.
mardee graws, huh? noo awlins, LUK AOT!!!!
Yah, teh gui dat supposedlee innerested in me works downstares, in a diffrint offis.
Him nawt has maded berry gud impreshun wif me, tho. Sum red flags has popped up wif me an I’m tryin to figger owt if I’m ober-reaktin oar nawt.
Teh juree awn him iz still owt. I gess wii will see ifn him duz ennyfing once I’m deklared singlol agin, huh?
Obutt teh red fwags uzulee meens u gotta rayz teh BS fwag adn bak away berry swowee…
(ai hoep dis werk ryt)
*cwossez fingurz and ubber stuffz that can be cwossed*
find and share recovery images at anonymousspace.com
Weeeellllll dat dint werk!
Wuz spozt tu bee a cute gif wif a littel B.S. fwag raizin up and wavin round onna fwagpole…
WOW greaties mews I will crawes eberfin four u…an pray to ceiling cat
*Gets on hine paws…Dear ceiling cat…pwease pwease pwease helpies RHSB paypurs gets filed for her on tymes so she can celebrawtes at Mardees Graws…pwease…kfanxbye..Acat*
Fanks, Tiggles!
Ackshulee, I nawt goin to Mardee Graw. WRr is frowin my singlol agin paree wif teh Mardee Graw theem. Wii nawt goin to Mardee Graw – Mardee Graw comin to Cheezland!
yesh yesh yesh mardee graw…in sheezland oh how that shalls bees good
*starts finkin of outfit already…pulling tops hats and scarffs from the pawdrobe*
Why hai cheezie fwiends it been a while since i lasts speakies
*giggles in joy and does at little dance to celebrate being back online for goodies*
Welkum bak, Tiggles!
o’fanxs u i ams soooo glad to bees bak…i misses the cheezland
Ohai!
o’hai Draconic how iz u todays?
ai’z doowink okai, aifinkso…. yoo?
okai iaifinkso kfankies
Written by a true shut-in. Unfunny.
That is the funniest pic i have seen (LOL CAT FORM) Tht iz the funniest pik i seen!!
funny right?? 
no??
Yess?? D: No??
That is the funniest pic i have seen (LOL CAT FORM) Tht iz the funniest pik i seen!!
funny right?? 
no??
Yess?? D: No??
Please Say Yes!!!
hmmmm metinks me laik dis pic! lol iz funneh
Mai Queshchins two U U suhn shal C,
B4 U mayk A bahd PP
R S folowz. And me no liez.
Cuz U wil B n 4 a zupreyez.
Wut liez behynd dore Num. 1
S the answer to teh qwestions. Hav Fun!
wahw dats wun gud pohm. did yus mayk dat up?
ok here is a joke… if you are american when you go inside the bathroom and if you are american when you come out what are you when you are inside?!?
-european of corse!!!
my lol cat made it up its self!!!
lols rite!!
Wooohooooo !!! good one !
kayz, derz linkee tu teh imij aneewayz…
or heerz a linkee tu teh purplol wun…
http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp58/nightowl22366/funny/bsflag.gif