GIVE BLOOD Or I’ll take it from you by force
vampire kitteh will take ur blood.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: micheleb70
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GIVE BLOOD
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Eeziest wai iz 2 teeze a kitteh
or put it in a sillee dress!
Dat kitteh luks az iffn it iz reddee 2 taek blud frum enniwun wivin raynj!
or try to give a pill
Aint dat teh troof!!! Ai haded 2 Dwurm mai kittehs, 2 smrt-woodnt eet teh fud wif a sneeked in pill. Hadded 2 by nudder pkg…trine 2 stuffz pills daon frot NAWT so grate akshuly!! Did gits m doan finly
Tohse pill-pokkit treets… berry grate, akshullee! Mine nawt eben knowing tehy getting a pill taht way. Iz awl-owt war, uvverwyse.
oh yesh, teh pill pokkets r teh BOMB! ai alsew use teh “animal planet” semi-soft treets to hide small pills in.
Teezin kittehs am a BAD ideer.
ya teh kitteh’ll nom u whil u sleep!
Joynes Q, a fellow Michigander, in dansing teh Dans ov Joi fur Annipuss!
) an much terning an swooping!
.
Altho it haz NUTHING to do wif VamPyre Kitteh, Ai’m puttin awn mai “Kletzmer Mewsik” CD! So mai dansing will luk sumthing laik sumthing frum “Fiddler wif teh Floof.”
.
*wif bended neez an hans held ohai in teh ayre*
*Step Step Step – danses awl around teh room wif a kwikness!
Wif a littlol bit ov leeping (verree littlol
Ohai Janet! When can you has FIVE kittehs? Dids yous get noo kitteh?
DavechDTc!! It’z bin MUNTHS sins ai’ve scene yoo!!
Pardiin mai etnoo. . .enfooeze. . .happiness to see yoo!!
Ther iz a BEEG diffrence between 4 an 5 kitthehs! Ai reelee awnlee ebber wanted 3!! 
{{{{{{{DavecanhasDrTinycat}}}}}}
.
It’s reelee just a foster kittheh. Mai Ant iz in a nursing hoam fur the rappee! Fur sebral weeks. An ai cudn’t leev hur pore kitteh awl bai hisself! So ai brawted him heer fur a wile!
But – MAI!!
Moar Kitteh lubbins FTW!!!
How am yor udder Kittehs likin the Ant Daisy Kitteh? I hope tehy is beein frenlee wiv him?
An yor poor poor finner!
Oh Janet! I do hopeso it will be a kwik healin an nawt giv too much trubble an pain wen DrBoneCat seez to it?
Much Lub an BEEMS ob healin an soovin cummin yor way.
♥♥♥♥♥
Akshoolee, it wuz kwite amazing! After about (ai wud laik to rite that wif a Kanadishe Akscent – but ai cant figgyoor aut hao! Nawt that ai haz wun!
) free oar foar hisses, tehy awl got alawng just fine!
.
NEBBER hav ai scene straynjer kittehs getting along so well so kwiklee!
.
An thanks fur teh gud thots! Ai ar reelee reelee skeered!
{{{{{{{Janet}}}}}}}}
Plz nawt be skeered. Juss fink ov awl teh gud wishes an thots frum teh Cheezfrenz.We wil be there wiv you in spirit.
We will ALL be finkin abowt yoo an iyam shure taht teh DrBoneCat will be eggcellent an do a wunnerful job.
Whut Iz he gonna do, bai teh way?
Has he splained it well enuff?
And Huzzah fur Salleh commin bak, to halp yu!
Izzn’t that just teh NICEST thing ebber! Becuz she iz rite – things – laik teh dishes
AR pyoling up!!
.
Ai cud doo it moar wif mai left hand, but it iz hard. . . Mai left hand needs sum traying!
Is phunney, Mr Martoonie is left handed and he can do most fings wiv his rite hand as well. Sumtimes he forgets and puts teh knives an forks teh rong way rouwnd awn teh table. He plays golf rite handed and can write with either hand. Ai is rite handed an ai can do NUFFIN wiv mai left hand. Unless u want sumfin borked. Ai’m good at dat. Ai finkso wehn he wuz at school dey thot that beeing left handed wuz somehow bad so tehy made him use his right hand for stuff and nao he can yoos bofe.
Nawt dat he yoosed eiver of dem to clear teh @*$#£% snow. :sulk:
SNERK!!!!
*awlmoast fawls awf chayre laffing*
Luk owt Janet, don’t bork ennyfing else!!!
LOL!! sum how deh menz kin b so helpless wen dere b akshul wek tu b dun… but if ti b sumfing fun, dehy b full uv deh helpfulnesses!!
Ah! Sweet Mister Rhee, ov Life, at Last ai’ve Found You!
feeblee trine to stix up fer de mens (a bad ideer in muh eksperients) I fin dat mens can do werk just as mush as wimmens, itz jest dat men an wimmens had a differmint idea of wut wurk is important enuff to do. Dust furnichure – nawt important, Vacuum – nawt important, Fix lawnmower or snowblower – verr important, kleen baffroom nawt, kleen kitchen – sorta, kleen golf clubs verr important! I jest hab a higher dirt tolerants den muh wyfe, I’ll vacuum as soon as de dust is swirling aroun muh anklols but she neber lets it git that far, I’ll warsh the kitchen floor as so as muh feets begin to stick to it like an old movie house floor but she never gibs me a chants. I’m willing to do stuff as soon as it needs to be done but by that time muh wyfe has alreddy did it, I’m finking dats eever acause she likes to do it or she has low tolerants. Eever way – nawt muh fault.
dis is a good time to scamperawaywiffabigkwikness!
oh Ai fink so!!
aawww ai jess needed a ‘scuse tew go bak an bisit Janet sum moar !!!….. an get sum moar Lak Mousgun Stones …..dey ar teeh preddy….
.
scuze mah typin if yoo pleeze, mah E key fawled owrf, an wenebbr ai needz tew uses it, ai gotz tew stop an KARFULLI hit dat spowt wiff mah fingurnayl…..hee hee ….tho ai iz gettoin beddur at it !
Petoskey stones, p’raps? Or ovvers ekwally purdy?
aye am in teh veree moast southwest korner – Awn teh laek – just 30 myols frum teh Indiana bordure.
So . . .No Petoskey stones.
But we hav LOTS ov reelee prettee otter wuns!
He. . .*sniff* . . .he sed it wuz reelee bad becuz it wuz at teh joynt! An taht iz awlwaiz . . .nawt gud! Teh bone iz borked an dislokayted – so. . .they has to straiten it an put it bak rite. . .an tehn hoep it heelz rite.
an noe, tehy dont! Soo – it cud bee werse!
.
Mai ebber pesssee mystic Ant Dayzee sed to mai sister – tehy dont hav to cut itawff, doo tehy???
.
Sorree – ai can awnlee Taip kwite slolee!!
Ohai Janet, ai’m shoor u has told teh storee menny times, butt as u kno ai duz nawt get heer offen – wut did u do to ur finger? Wuz u owt avenging stuff an riting rongs an awl dat in ur superhero cape? Oar did u fall down go boom? Inkwiring minds (werl, its nawt THAT inkwiring udderwise I would taek teh trubble to go back an search until ai fownd ur storee!) wants to kno!
Man I stays away too longs an misses stuffs!! You has nother kitteh AND borked up paw?
You will bees ok. I betcha.
Tahnls Dave!!
Ai reelee reelee hoep so! Becuz, yoo know, althou ai am nawt verree gud, ai LURVE to play teh piano! Ai cant imajine nawt beng abul to do that!.
.
An teh Doktor wuz kinda gloomee. . .
Aw, Janet, I tells yu inspirashunal sotree, okay?
The MTP joints in bof my feets were so bad, I culd hardly walk at all. Drpodiatristcat, after he looked at x-rays and showed them to me, that I wuld has to haz surgery, artificial joints, etc. I culd try holistic fings ifn I wanted to, but sins I hads no cartilege left and bones ends looked bad, surgery wuz really teh onnly fing.
**
I no wanted surgery, no insurance, nd I’m still too yung fr joint replacement. So I tried supplements, gentle exercise, and ta-dah!!!! ACUPUNCTURE. I founded a GRATE acupuncturist. It has taken time, but I haz had fantastic improvement in my feets. I can walk again, at normal pace, am starting to hike again, and I hopes next year I will be able to run and ski again.
**
You don’t have to put lotsa body wait on your finger, so it will heal even faster!!!!
Taht iz a grate storee!
Butt – ai had NOO aidea! Heer ai am, weeping an whaling ober a fingur taht mite bee a littlol stiff (an ai WILL trai teh akyoopukchoor wen teh bonez ar
bak togedder!).
But ai know waht ai hav iz verree teenee compaired to waht so menee heer have!
.
{{{{{{{Booklion}}}}}} {{{{{{{{ awl teh brayve Cheezpeeps}}}}}}
O Janet! Ur fingers are important to us. Plz continue to hold (wif ur good hand) and u will be assisted by teh next availamable Cheezfren.
I’m sure u wil be teh fine wif ur sirjury and other treetments. Speaking from recent experience, u might want to book a fireman for teh operating room now, now, just in case of smoke.
Ai kan hold wif teh borked hand! ai’m spozed to keep it
Ellie Vated!
Fyreminz. . .hmmm. Ai had’t thot ov that!
Ooh! Ooh! Ai tink Ellie Vated is teh pretty, halpful nerse in teh Mis Terry – mebbee too pretty, an juss a bit too halpful…..?!
Ai skwished it a littlol in teh skreen doar! But teh dore just hit it -an tehn bownced open again. Ai had no idea it wuz reelee borked! Til teh swelling wudn’t god down!
Eew. Teh werst injurries is often teh wuns u duz nawt realise u has until layder! Gud luck for teh serg…surj…teh gettin it fixed in horsepital. Maek shoor dey give you teh pethidine, is most wundruss. Ai had it wehn dey had to bork teh bones in mai fut (lawng story, nun ob it fun), an u sort ob kno dat sumfin hurts but u rly don’t care because u is away wiv teh fairies. Is fantastic stuff. Tell teh doktor dat ai sed u had to have it.
Yes! Taht iz part ov teh problim!!! Taht ai dint go at WUNCE!!!
Hao cud ai hav bin so STOOOPEE!!
An ai dont know waht they ar going to giv mee – but ai think iz iz going to ee teh full anaesthesia! An ai find taht kinda skeeree, too!
.
But ai will tell him!
I had Versed wen tehy did my colonoskopee, an dat wuz sum GUD stuffs! I nawt remember gettin dressed, tawlkin to doc, ridin hoam, an I barelee remember goin into howse.
I then sleeped foar 4 1/2 howers.
I woked up an my BFF had camed ober. Wii wuz watchin Jeopardy an apparentlee I turned in2 “rainman” becuz I knew EBERY KWESHTUN! BFF an Huzbin wuz luukin at eech uther lyk, “How hur know dat?”
When I had to has EGD, I asked if I cud has sum Versed to go. Nurse sed no.
Oh ai likes teh full anananansfreezer. U can du ennyfing u like to me so lawng as ai is unconscious.
Uh, dat didn’t come owt quite like ai intended…
*gigglols sum moar*
I trying tu rite dis but it keepz sownding like a ufa mism no matter how I put it.. … Janet, I putted ur finner in deh Cryer so peepz will noeing wut happuned tu it.
Ai cant find teh ufa mism! ?? LOl!!
.
An thanks – But . . .can ai hav it bak bai Whens day???
I will keeping ur finner until it b awl bedder.
Iz deh doc gonna du a Sir Jury on it?
Kumpleet wif Anna Steezia?
Soundz like a party in a Agatha Christie storee….
Teh cast liszt:
Sir Jury – an elderlee jentlman, owner ov O’Praytin Ruim
Anna Steezia – a byootiful mysterious stranjer
Ufa Misam – teh house keeper
Borkt Didjet – teh hansum tennis teechur
Page Shunt – prettee neese ov Sir Jury
.
Ebreewun shud feel free to add sum peepl! Mai brayne iz a bit borked, too, it seems!
Dr.TinyCat – deh warm-harted adn kewt dokktir
.
,
I just hope dis duzn’t turn intu a murder mistry….
But in “Teh Cayse ob teh Swoelun Finker” teh victim is F.R.Akchur, hoo disamappeers Awl Togevver!
*traie VERREE hard nawt to fawl off chayre laffing*
.
Donot forget Red Harring, teh horspital cafeteria cook who seems to be suspishus but ultimately is just trying to perfect his Toona Surprize Catserole.
Suspishun furst fawls awn Ufa Mism, for bein dastardly and persistently forrin but, in fakt, she has lawng suspekted teh screendor to be a aksident waytin to happun and was tryin to repayr teh non-slam bendy arm tingy at teh tawp, and nat sabbotarj it, wen she wus innerrupted bai….
Dee Saster, a laydee ob a certain age (nawt dat she’s tellin u wut it is) who has long had her eye awn Sir Jury.
Trajjickly she lawst teh udder eye in an incident involving a Toona Surprize Catserole.
And so bares a grudj (an a bare grudj is a scerree fing) aginst Red. Red awlso has a conekshun with Sir Jury; he is teh ill eejit timmut sun ob teh eminemineminayt sturgeon, form his breef but ill-fayted fling wiv…
In teh meenwile, Llawng Llion, teh Welsh gardiner, wuz digging in teh Rose garden. Wehn suddenlee, hiz shuvvlel went “THONK!” an he cud dig no deeper!
Fillled wif a dedlee curiosity, he bent ober to see waht it wuz. . .and then. . .
Loretta Strumpet, minor starlet and major floozie, who is so desperate for meeja attenshun dat she has been known to turn up for teh opening of an envelope. Will Loretta reveal the secret only she knows about Red???
Janet! Wehr did u come from! Dis wuz meant to go after Ambercat. Butt, ai guess we cud just go wiv teh flo!
Rose Garden showted “Ai is NAWT a plarnt! Plees to nawt be digging me into teh flowr beds”
Momenterrily distrakted Llllllawng Lllllllion ternd awai form wehr he wus diggin an wus struk form behynd bai….
Wun ob Borkt Didjet’s balls. “Ai’m so sorry” he sed, “mai serve went wild”.
But ober Lllllawng’s proen bawdy, Borkt’s eys met Rose Garden’s an it wus Luff At Nat Sekkund Site. But it wus a luff taht cud neber be, Bcorse…..
Borkt is ackshully her mother’s cuzzin’s brother’s aunt’s father’s nephew!
An Rose Garden is akchully Rupret Gordon, teh notoryus Screen Dor Slammer!
Ohai! Itz none ov mai bzness, ob corse, but
ai’m a littl worried abowt the “pethidine”
sugj..sujg..rekomendashun. Ai’m sure
that martoonie means only the best, but
pethidine (we kawl it meperidine in US)
duzn’t have as good a reputation these
dayz as it once did. Lots of hospitalz don’t
uze it anymore. But ur mileage may varee.
See en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pethidine for
a summary if yu like. Kthxbai.–Lungdoc.
{{{{Janet}}}}
Janet – Ifn ur reelee skeered, u kin ask Tidmum to gibs u sum of dat stuff hurs growin in her windersill. Dat mite mellow u owt.
*Goez to chek hur awn windoes*
Mother ov millyuns, caktus, littlol pine tree, vineee plants, geraniumz,
Krissmaus Kaktus. . .
NOPE! Nuthing fur teh mellowing!
*snerk*
*Dans, dans, dans; twirl, hop, jump
Good morning, Annipuss and congrarz on your solo nawt-second. Wut may ai bring to u for sellybraidshuns? Good morning, Ambercat and may I ply you with drinkz and comestibles, as well?
*twirl, slide, kik. Shimmy on out of here…
Sumfing hawt wud be gud – it iz still berry cawld heer (well, cawld fur TTI, enniwai!)
I haz a tea tray ready, wif a pott of Yorkshire Gold tea, a pitcher uv milk, a bowl of sugar, a plate of ginger scones, and some clotted cream. I put awn a pot of coffee, too, in case sumwun purrfurrs that. Enough for ebbrywun!
Thx, Ai’ll juss hab coffee – den Ai muss go owt fur mai paper an 2 get a few fings in caes we haz moar sno!
*taeks sum ov teh cawfee an scones!*
Oh Wellz! Still taystee!
YUUUUMM! Ginger sconez! Ai hazn’t had tehm befoar! An just YESTEDAY, ai had mai furst ebber Gingerbred Makademia Nut Biscotti! A prezzee frum a frend – an reekee deelishus – an maybee nootrishus???
*reeds lablol* “fractionated palm kern oyl??”
It’s warm here in Michigan – all of 40 degrees F on Saturday! Teh peepz were out jogging in shortz and t-shirtz.
Lundun haz 34 at teh momint, but dere iz a berry cawld wind an a wateree sun.
Ohai Annipuss,
Chips an Ham has 37F or 3c at teh momunt,but it are droppin like a stone.
Teh sky be full ob moar wet stuff,an has tried to snow alreddy this marnin.
An it startid off so nice an sunshiney. Harumpf.
Windchill be elebentee Ifinkso.
HAI Tidmum! Yoo still in yur sexee jammees???
Heehee
I has a Kleen pair awn now. They be stripey legs wiv a flowery cuff
an a white long sleeve top wiv pritty applique flours an seekwinz.
I spoilt teh ensemble bai warin brite green stripe soxses wiv red toes ..
But mai feets is warm
An just WAT, prey tell. iz moar impawtent tehn warm toezies???
Warm beehind?
warm bee fruntz, tu!!
Warm fice, warm `ands, warm feet. Aow wudn’t it be luverlee!
By George, ai fink she’s got it!!!
Ummm. . .duz “Come on Dover … move your bloomin’ arse!!” fit
in heer eneware??
ah butt yoo guise ar missin teh poynt heer !!!! it am 40 degreze in Mousgun !!!!….dat hardli cole at awl !~!!…..
.
hll, ai kan dew 40 in mah slepz…er…..sleEpz…
Draculah-kitteh maeks no emtie frets…
Nomsferatu
Nomswherardou?!?
Aaarrrgh!!! A vampyre-kitteh!!!! RUNZ!!!
…get in the car!
…start the car alreddy!
conga-rat-shoe-laces on your nawt second annipuss!!
or cheezburgers rare.
Gud moaning Annipuss and the rest of the Early moaning Cheezepeeps! Haow are things in TTI.
Hai Lyantha! Haow are things in teh land uv Kilts and Haggis?
Hai Q! gud to heer it iz warming up in M-itchy-gan. I iz in Orygun where it wuz neerly 60!!1!! yesterday.
BTW Lyantha, I wood ware a kilt iff I had one. Iz berry prowd of my Scots Hairy-tage.
Naow I goez back to bed…it cawls me!
TTFN
Nurse Ratched kitteh iz stil pritty darn skaree akshully.
Nurse Ratched kitteh iz AWLWAIZ skeery!
EEEK!!!
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1776114
Ai’d rather have a full bottol in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy!
Me 2 liekwize!
Speshlee wen u kin hab unuver full bottel wen dat wun iz nawtfull ennemoar! Aifinkso u kin onwee hab wun lubbotemy eber…
Ohai ebrybuddy! Ai hazbin berry bizee tudai awlreddy. Ai fixded mai vanz pushtehheetawoundinsyde thingee an an an ai fixded mai twuks startitupanmakeitrun thingee tu! Butt nao ai can haz pwaying heer! *happytail*
I is ready for the ouchie
naow, iffen uz reely braive u cahn haz tihs lollipawp wen ur finnished.
why duz dey alweys say before they stick yo wiff the needlol: “Liddlol Pinch”? I knows from pinch, dats nawt a pinch, its more akurately a prick or a poke or even a liddlol stick, wut it ain’t is a pinch.
In TTI dey genrly say “liddle scratch” before stickin u wiv teh needlol. Is nawt a scratch either imho. Is a big sharp pointee fing beein stuck in u.
Sumtiems dey say dat iz liek a liddle bee bite.
Beez doan bite – dey sting!
And it hurts!
.
Still, dis shud NAWT stop peeps frum given teh bloods.
.
LCB gives teh bloods – and you kno she iz moar ov a “let meh see dat in teh light” than a giver.
No offense LCB. Given teh bloods iz a gud fing.
Duzn’t taek long eever…lass tiem I gabs a pint in 4 1/2 minutes!
No offenses, um, taken.
I is teh Type ONoes, aka, universal donor. This means I can gibs teh bluds anywhares in teh galaxy.
Just our galaxy?
I fot u waz moar far reeching den dat.
Well, normally, but u knoes how it is. I has teh *mumbles* parole issues.
U hab issues wif parolees?
Dey r like canollees, rite?
wen ai haddeded mai serjeree, wen dey gebbed meh sum ob teh anestesya, dem sed dat it wuz liek a big moskweeturr biet…..wut definiteelee /nawt/ liek dat type ob byte….
kitteh is intellekshual no needz to imply dat Uz has to be a pink monkeh
to beez intellekshual
oops dis comment belongs to deh neggst lol
:snerk: Deh kurse uv ICHC!!! Tu mennee lolz!!!!
This picture is kinda strange…..Okay very but why must you….well whoever took the picture do it in black and white….it kinda looks stupid!! he he lol
Ai fink it iz a berry owld foto – b4 culler wuz yoozed mutsh.
Aifinkso it iz at weest elebenty eleben yeers owld – dat wuz waaaaay befoar culler wuz inbented!
Ohai Nurse Ratchett!
Is this an antique LOLcat or is it just made to look that way?