U need
Incorrect source or offensive?
« Previous Bellhop Kitteh | Video: Hungry, Hungry Kitteh Next »
» 308 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
-
Who be Talkin'
supertuscan on Switchboard operator kitt… TheLovecat on If you close it Cattails on Switchboard operator kitt… cresentpalkia on If you close it Mitsubachicats... on Switchboard operator kitt… Mitsubachicats... on Switchboard operator kitt… Gizmo on Switchboard operator kitt… 5 eagles on Switchboard operator kitt… Jack Deth on Switchboard operator kitt… 5 eagles on Switchboard operator kitt… bluesfan473 on Switchboard operator kitt… catena on Switchboard operator kitt… siobhan on Switchboard operator kitt… Gizmo on Switchboard operator kitt… Bowser on Switchboard operator kitt… 
Cheezburger Network Blog
i has eated tehm udder yewr bedz
referrencing to teh one earblier tihs weeky
Concatshoelaces on yer nawt sekkund, wulfy! Wut wud yew liek fur sillybrayshuns?
…
Oh — an iz yew a boy wulf or a gurl wulf?
boy wulf
and befoer u askz my name is elvish and it meanz bloodstained shadow wolf
chocolte martooni plz
>>bloodstained shadow wolf chocolte martooni plz<<
wow! elves drank chocolit martoonies?
aifinkso if not tehy had sumfing beddur ( ai really needds to rereads taht bookz)
Aiz shur dey wud if dey kud!
*pours chocolit martoonie fer Mr Elvan Wulf*
aiz not elvan, just speekz a lil bitz ub itz
same thing… *rubs teh poyntee eers*
Plz leev a messij aftur teh BOOP.
..
…
BOOP!
ai tinks ‘bowt mooveeng n fyuh ourz, aftur mai napP
ai can has socks? ai need tew go tew store tew buy gushifud.
Pliiz trybak laytur. Gushifudz wud halp.
Ai is leebin a messij after da BOOP.
.
May ai haz yr attenshuns ebreewun!?
.
*ahem*
.
Ai haz a happitayl dansdans ‘nownsmint tew beh makin.
.
Ai haz a stoo dent teechifyin posishu! Ai goes tew meet da teecher ai beh werkin wif onna dai be4 Caturday, and ai start onna Mundane!
.
YEAH!!!! Fangsyew fur yer supports and gud finkin and kindness.
.
Ai noa returns yew tew yr regularly scheduled commints.
yeah BDM!
*dans dans twirl skip dans*
hav a martoonie or sum tekila to sillybraid!
Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay!!!!!!Elebenty!! Oh happeetayle!!!
*does happitayl dansdansdans wif gamma cat an 4.5K*
.
Fangs! Ai wall haz a martoonie!
yay for BDM~!
nao fore teh advise (seein as hao ime a stoodint teecher rite nao)
1. plan ahed
2. tawlk to yor teecher abowt teh plans EVERY day
3. get to noe yor stoodints and yor teecher
4. be consistent in yor ackshuns (an set yor frustrashun fyoose to blow up befor yu loose kontrol– itz happeer that way).
5. do sumfin nise fore yor teecher an say thank yu at leest wunse every too howers.
iffn yu need anee moar suggestshuns or just wantz sumbuddee to listen- mai email is my skreenname at gmail.
good luk~!
Fangs yew fur da adbises. Mah plan is tew bring a giftee card tew da meetin ub gettin kwainted fur Cariboo coffees, and start off onna ryte fut.
.
Ai mah be takin adbantage ub yr generus offer!
tawlk to yu soon then!
sih- i envz da too ub u…. I haz ta waitz until FALL fur mai student teachin… stoopi school messeded up mai schedulol n naow I haz ta waitz awl summer….
I wantz ta teach! I iz tigered ub writin paperz bout especial ed kiddemos!
momcat
YAY foar my heero!
I wud get up an danse wif joy, but WRr iz tryin to get me drunk, I finkso.
*whispurrs* iz otay… yew can sillibrate wif meh!
Concatshoelaces, BDM! Datz full uv win an awesum!
Fangs yew, NS!
.
Hao is Roscoe?
Himz doin grate! Himz egg-sited cuz weez gettin rain tomorrow (suppozedlee) & FriedEgg — himz will get to go down teh slide in teh waddur!
Yay! Ai hoep Roscoe has the funz inna slidee waters!
wut abawt?
Ai wall beh teechifyin mafs. Tew middlol skewl kidlets
meh…..middlol skool mafs? PLEH!
sea! Iffn yew had meh fur middlol skewl mafs, yew wud beh sayin “yay!” an
“ai lubs mafs!”
wen ai wuz in middlol skool, ai wuz teh horriblol adn teh pleh at mafs….
ebben in Aljebra 2, ai did horriblolee…..wuz liek 60 fur mai finlol graed…
haoebbur, in aljebra 3, durink last semesturr, mai graed wuz 99!!
ai has no aideya hao, butt ai’z happeetayull!
Wuzzit differunt teechur?
yah…..ebberee yeer, wuzza different teechur…..wuz ownlee dis yeer dat mai graeds got bettur……
Cud splain it. sum teechurs is beddur den otter teechurs.
ai haz funz makin mafs funz fur peeps… ai LUBS conbinsin sumwun whoo hated mafs dat is nawt sew horibiblol, an dat mehbeh dey eben lyks it! 9Ai hab been kuzed ub bean a maf ‘vanjalist… butt (hehehe) ai wants peeps tew nawt be ‘fraid ub it, eben if dey nawt lykin it.
huh…wut doo yoo doo different? inn yur teechin, ai meen?
yah…ai’z currentlee doowink sine adn cosine graffs….demz arre fun!
Hmmm… well, ai trys tew maek teh topix relebant… and show ste bai behbeh step hao tew beh dewin it… an ai ax peoplols tew tall meh whut else deh can beh usifying it foar…. and ai conbinse dem it beh deh ezee when yew noes how tew dew it.
Conga Ratz fur U BDM. What U wantz fur drinks and dans.
rhsb and Ai iz habbing a tekillya nite. U wantz sum tu?
Fangs, WRr. Ai beh habbin da choklin martoonies, and dansin wuteber is onna sownd system!
Most ekselent! Ai haz a majur happeez for u!
*dansdans-skip!*
Ar u familyur wiff teh teechur u’ll be wiff?
Ai hopez u get alawng well wiff him/her, speshullee aftur awl dat agravashun teh playsment guy wuz gibbin u.
Happy day! Adn doze dayz r gettin lawnger!
Ai has nawt werked wif her befoar, butt (hehehe) ai haz a fren whoo werked at dis skewl and shii kums hi-lee rekomendedededed.
.
Fangs yew berry mush fur your kind wishes… ai wall be dewin mah best tew be h makin shur eets awl gud!
(Reply to nightshayde)
okai! No sox? Call meh wen sox r in vaylabillitty =)
aye am sleepin! yew can has them wen aye am dun
Woa Gamma, grate abatar!!!!!
gammacat gotted an abatart!!!
now…if we cud only get u bloo!!
Ohai skwirlgrrl, wii iz habbing tekillya shawts. U wantz wun?
* handz teh skwirrl teh 20 oz cowboi shawt glass *
yesh, I has seed teh resulting condishun alreddy as evidinsed by rhsb. So I finkso I’ll pass.. this tiem.
Cheks the dryer, meby der in der
unless teh sok monster ated them. but yu shud be safe- he onlee eets the left wuns.
Iz like a vending mecine.”i would like pink sox”you saiz.”no”kitteh saiz.
yu need to use correct amount of gushifud, aithinkso
Y wud u wanna puts gushi fud on ur soks?
no, gushifud in cat…
or on cat, either probably werks
Ai just stepped in gushifud dat had bin in teh kitteh… Gwoss!
before or after digestion completion…..that is the question.
.
although, either is indeed……….gross.
duz it reelee mattur hao far intew daijestyun teh fud wuz?
from an odiferous perspective, most definately.
yesh, cuz teh fud getz gushier as tyme goz bye.
frum a kleenink purspektib, nawt-sew-much, aiwudfinkso…..juss kleen it upp kwikklee!
depending on how far along it was, when a cat “sick-up”s, it’s easier to clean if you let it dry first.
aktchuallee, yoo’r rite…..ai’z furgooted dat frum mai goggie…
*ahem*
If it was ‘compleeted’… wudn’t be ‘arriving’ from a diffrent ‘portal’?
I was referrencing to the difference between just eaten, and had an hour or so to………..mix.
oh.. kind liek a hot blender, eh?
prolly more like a cement mixer, just a-roiling.
*urp*
.
sew how issit that this lol has bin owt here nearly 3 hours and NO ONE has notices that this kitteh is not practissing safe sox???
naw, more like the joy of sox.
wut duz yoo meen bai dat?
we is talkin bowt the kitteh’s sox lief.
.
now Dan. Teh kitteh is totallee exposed! Luk at hur. Sox shud be enjoyed in private.
ai’z still confuzzled….
ya don’t think the kitteh has read the Katma Sutra…..do ya?
oh deer.
.
*gives Draco a copy of ‘Everything u Always Wanted to No about Sox but wuz Afraid to Ax*
Go reed this buk. Shud splain everything.
*reedz bit ob buk*
O.o
oh……..did nawt eggspekkt dat…….ummmmmmmm
I dunno dan… is tehre advices about sox in there?
*ponders*
seems I herd it did talk about teh diffrent kinds of sox..
knee sox
bobby sox
tennis sox
orthopedik sox….
more of a users manual, the different types of sox
.
.
and how to wear them to the best effect.
.
ya know, like making sure yer toes are pointed correctly, that kinda ting.
*crikkets*
.
hm. well, I know sox educashun is a controbersial subject.
So I will hed to bed nows.. g’nite all!
Nity nite leeza… ai wuz tawkin mafs up da fred. sowree tew beh takin way frum yr sox edjumakashuns.
oh now u answer dan!
.
I really do has to get to bed.
hopefully, we has enlitened a few people wif our edumacashunal discussion!
Nite!
Make shure to keep ur feets warm!
I had a Kabuki drop to handle. Y’all know by now that my electronic leash (radio) can call me away without any notice.
sry, din’t know u were werking last nite!
Do yoo reelee wanna noes?
is this teh kind of emenitees a, um, guesst wud expect to xperiense if they, say, came to vissit u??
perhaps it’s akin to software programming. If you have a bug….document it and it becomes a feature.
LOL!! pyootur yoosaje ref…WIN!!!
heheh…..ain’t dat troo…..adn if sumwun sez dey fownded a bug, blaem teh hardwaer…
If teh sawk fits…
dat maekz it nawt-sew-gushie fudz……mebbeh gushie, butt iz nawt fud no maor!
Waol, mai Teddy wud beg to diffur! Hims lieks teh, er, warmded-up gushifud
Eeeeeew x elebenty!
Ai noes! Aifinkso hims bees part goggie!
ebben mai owld goggie nawt du dat!
(owld goggie heer meenink teh goggie ai hadded, beefoar hur runneded awai…)
yah…hur runneded awai a whilol a gow….aifinkso hur nawt reelee comink bakk……:(
o wellz….
ai knows dat lublee feelin! speshully wifout shoes or socks!
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=3237380
U can haz sox when Ai heer can opunur wurking awn tuna.
**bites tong an drinks moar tekillya**
*luks askance at rhsb*
duz tekillya help wif tong bites?
Not a word, from your lips
You just took for granted that I want to skinny dip.
A quick hit, that’s your game.
But I’m not a piece of meat, still you like my brain.
Night is young, so are we.
Let’s get to know each other better, slow & easily.
Take my hand, let’s hit the floor.
Shake our bodies to the music.
Maybe then you’ll score.
*hic*
I lernded sumfin tonite awn teh way hoam….
.
.
Iz nawt eezy to car-danse to “Baby Got Back”, speshulee wen u dribin.
*has image of rhsb wiggloling her butt while driving*
Ya-yup. Dat’s me.
My BFF used to be embarrassed wen I did dat, but nao hur car-danses wif me!
i likey teh pikshur gammacat
yeah! it wurked! Tis a pendant by Mark Poulin.
he has a store at etsy wif lots of kyute kitteh stuff
definitely cyoot,
* starts to haves teh firsts splorts, nut just a teeney bittey*
*puts HGG on wulfie*
thankew gammacat
Iz gunna be warmur heer than in atlanta Ga tunite.
Wii has 3*F tonite!
Is 35 heer naow.
Heetwave!
Ai eben gotted awt mai shortz. Nawt teh short shortz, Ai be crazee nawt stooppee tudai.
I saw a gui comin outta teh gas stayshun who wuz warin shorts!
Dis wuz at arown 6:00 tonite.
Meenwhiel, I’m warin lawng unnerwares, my (noo) warm howseshoes, a t-shirt an am wrapped inna blankee. Oh, an teh oil-filled heetur (luuks lyk plug-in radyator) is awn.
had a friend from Bermuda who wore shorts awl winter (in bawstone)!
we didn’t see him in long pants till he got a job!
Mai fren uzed tu ware shorts awl teh tyme eben inna blizzurds. Him mobed tu Alaska (and yes him culd see russia frum hiz jawb) Him nawt wae shorts NE moar.
*snerk*
mai scowtmasturr awlwaez wares shoertz…….ebben wen skiiyink!!
O.o
hao duz hims duu it?
Yer a skowt?!? Wut rank? favorite merit badges? Campout often?
I wuz an Eagle in muh youth, my dad wus a big factor dere, he wus wun of the firstest Eagle skowts in the USA so I had liddul choyce.
hay! ai’z an Eagle Scout!
adn bai teh wai, iz nawt ‘was’ an Eagle…..wunce wun, awlwaez wun…..unless yoo has hadded it takkeded awai…adn ownlee wun pursun has ebbur hadded dat happun…….at leest aifinkso……
favoriet merit badjes? aifinkso wuz small boat sailing…..yoo?
ai awlsew has a gold palm…..ai’z werkin awn mai silvurr palm….
abawt campink, nawt sew much nao…………..ai’z tryink tew git bakk intew mai troop…
I axually sent it bak to the BSA and axed if they would fergit they ever knew me. I disagree wif their stand on Gay peoples.
our troop camped one weekend every mumf except inna summer. I had allah the rekwired badges (obvious) but the Sailing canoeing astrnomy skiink were muh favs (prolly cause there were tings I already did). W didn’t have palms inna 1970’s or if we did I didn’t go for any.
yoo /WUT/??
dey’re stand awn peepz shuddn’t hab sumptink tew du wif wut yoo has erned……..
nuffink awn anne ob mai merit badges or othur rekwierments haddeded annefink tew du wif wethur a purrsun iz gay oar nawt…..
bai teh wai, nawt tew bii puttink mai noes war it nawt belawngz, butt wai duz yoo nawt liek dey’re stand?
*stands and applauds judson*
Datz boaf fur earnin teh honor — an fur standin up fur what yew believe in.
ai purrsonalle did nawt liek teh canoeing one tho…..ai juss did nawt liek it mucch…..
ai nebbur did astronomy…..ai did rowink tho…adn am rathur gud at that, awltho it iz a lawt ob werk….
I sent back muh Eaglol bodge because I will not knowingly be associated in any with an organisation that openly discriminates. I had serious doubts about the quasi militaristic posture of the BSA but let them slide. I could ignore them saying that gay people cannot be scout masters
Dey aktchuallee sed dat? o wao……
awltho dey has a reeson…adn aifinkso ai probablee knoez wut dat iz…
Nerts! wrap around let me omit a ‘NAWT’ in that lass sentence.
I think discrimin8ing against anyone is wrong weffer its based on race or religion or sex or sexual orientation or politacal affiliatshun. It’s impossible to avoid in small ways, I no that I, as a Democrat, tend to think less of Republican, and I have sum trubba feeling warm abowt the Fronsch but I tries to overcome those feelinks. The BSA is nawt tryink to get over their policy, they are working to defend it. Well, the Kluck Klams think they are ryte too, an I disagree wiff them as well.
heh…fyerfawks messes upp teh cowmint bawkses….
ai knoez dat iz probablee betturr tew nawt discriminaet…
butt (*snerk*) aifinkso dat BSA has a beree gud reeson foar itt…..afturr awl, dey nawt wanna has tew deel wif child molestink charjes…..sew dey duz hab a gud reezun…iz just tew….ermmm…..uhhh…….CTA……
der is very little overlap between the set for gay men and the set for child molesters. Men who molest children are generally hetero, often married with children. Gay men generally prefer other gay men, nawt boyz. Ob Korse awl generalizashuns are false, including dis wun.
Dere is onlee wun ruel: brake awl ruels, including dis wun.
rite…..dey’re just tryink tew keep it somewhat safer….after all…it is the /boy/ scouts….derez yoosuallee nawt feemayull leedurz…..
ai’z ramblin, rite?
annewai,…..uhhh….ummm……..ebben iff dat iz troo, wif wut yoo sai, teh BSA is tryink tew maek shur dat dey nawt has trubbles…..yah, ai reelaize dat wut yoo ses has a poynt…butt still……
nawt tew bii meen heer oar annefink, dun git meh wrong dere…..ai’z just sayink dat aifinkso ai knoez wai dem wantz tew bii caerflol in dis caes……
@4.5K: dere iz moar den dat……
heer’s teh too ruelz ob beeyink at werk:
Ruel 1: teh boss iz awlwaez rite.
Ruel 2: iff teh boss is wrong, refurr tew ruel numburr 1.
I wunst werked fer IBM ware I lernt that the Boss is rarely ryte. Das whut IBM stans for: Idiots Become Managers. I learned early to alweys challange authority bekawse they are often in a poshishun ob authority bekawse sumbuddy lyke Gov. Blagoyewitch or Gov. Patterson appoyneted them.
I new dere wuz a reezin wai ai liked yoo, Judson!
Ai has a big sleepee naow, so ai says gud nite to awl teh cheez frens.
Sweet dreems!
the onliest peeps who can tell me whut to do, are the people to whom I hab given that power, people whose authority I respect. That respect has to earned (or you have to has a gun on yer hip – I respects guns even when I duzzint respect the persun carrying it)
LOL@IBM…….
doant dey awlwaes? iz teh eedeyitz in charje….
o yah…abawt teh Blagjavech(oar haoebbur yoo spell hims naem..)
nao /dere’s/ a reel eediyit….
Yer OTAY DK! I fink we could tawk fer ebber and praps swap idears wiffout axually cornvincink evver of anyfing. Dat do nawt mean I am nawt interested it means I don’t know wut is the best venue.
unforchunatelee…….sinse ai libbs sew kloes tewh Atlanta…
Doawn byte yur tong, rshb! Dat hertz.
Byte on dese sox insted!
pleh! flurrbbs!
no fankees, ile just byte yor arm insted. it tastes better.
Bai teh wai…whoo’s tong did U bite?
**a slitelee ebil grin comes akross fayse an a glint appears in hur eye**
Not gonna tayle u! I nawt tayle EBERYFING I knoes!
Besydes, a woman gotsta has SUM mist-treez abowt hur, rite?
*luks arownd *
Where’s Lucky?
Himz in teh kitchen … puttin ice on himz tong.
Co-inkee-dink? Mebbe. Mebbe nawt. *shrug*
**falls outta chayre, cuz hur redded NS’s post RONG**
I finkso I need wadder. Mebbe my vishun will kleer up.
* fills waddur glass wif maor tekillya **
Heer U R rhsb. Has teh hole glass
U tryin to gets me drunk, WRr?
.
.
.
**tries to fokus eies**
Hay! I nawt kno u hadda twin!
ummmm……hay! yoo shud nawt bii drinkin sew mucch! iz nawt gud fur yoo!!
ummmmmmm….hao tew sai dis…..ummmm…uhhh……
*wispurrs* twiplets, aifinkso. or maybee quads!
hic!
Ifn dere is moar tahn wun WRr, wii may be in trubblol. Deep deep trubblol.
Ai iz liek tiggerz. Ai iz teh onlee wun.
Rly? Den why duz I see moar than wun of u?
**tries to stand**
**FLOPs inna heep on teh floor. Owt cold.**
are you akayz rhsb?
*gently slaps face*
*when dat doesnt work dumps waddur on teh rhsb*
* lifs rhsb intu teh wheelee barro fur teh trip tu teh NB *
Nawt tu wurree. Ai getz U hoem tu Luckee, evenshully. Ai finkso a hawt shaowur wuld be gud nawt sekkund.
“So I pulled her skirt up over her head to keep her warm, and a pressed up against her to keep me warm…”
pleeze sumbuddy acknowlij the Firesine feater ref or I’m gonna hafta set up howsekeeping in the NB an be embareassed eveytime I see RHSB>
for some reason, the old joke about an over-amourous rooster comes to mind.
.
and I can hear the voice of rhsb whispering “Sssshhh…….buzzards”
awf tew NB wif yu tew!
A good old joke. FTW SHD
Wrr – red needs a cold showur, aifinkso
ai’z gonna ditto NS heer, iff ai knoweded wut hur did fur dat smilolee faes….
yoo /WUT/???
nrrgh….gee fanks….*goez awff tewh teh NB maiselfz*
Praps whilst inna NB we can swap summa de orf color jokes I has been accumlatin fer the past 40 years.
yeh, I must wait for awhile before I can begin recycling such to my nephews (four of them, and I’ve the one sister), If I make the mistake of beginning to early, I’ll be gelded.
.
Then, all my britches would fit funny.
**staggers in**
Alrite, wut happind to me? Ennywun wanna offur up sum info?
LOL
timink is tuff and der is so mush only a nunkle can teach: poker, ceegars, bourbon, dirty jokes, etc. Muh sister maded me wate till they were at lease 112.
Lessee.
1. U hadded Tu much tekilya
2. U stoleded teh skwirrls cow boi outta hurz trap
3. Ur clothes started fawling awf.
4. U dans awn teh bear.
5. U passed awot.
6. ai tuk U tu teh NB fur teh showurz.
7. Luckee went tu finded Ur clothes.
I dansed awn a bear, or I dansed bare?
**runs to NB, hanging titelee to blankee**
I gotta go get moar clothes!
I nawt regret steelin teh skwirlols cowboi, tho.
I owed her wun.
**luuks at Judson**
Foar sum reeson, I finkso I mebbe habbin a stranj memree invovlin yoo.
**holds hed**
Oooowww…
*Hands red teh oxygun mask.*
Breev dis. Iz fastest wai tu end teh hangober adn teh hedaches.
gimme sum uv dat wen yore dun wif it- mai ocksygen levels r low- an dat kawses panick.
**luuks at WRr wif a suspishun**
U SHUR dis iz gud eyedea? U teh wun who gotted me drunk inna nawt-sekkund playse! I was sauced as an otter!
Ai wuz medic foar alawt uf yeers. U lurn fings.
**begins grumblolin**
Stoopy CBS…..pre-emptin my CSI:NY wif a basketball game.
Donut dey kno wut iz importint?!?!
wow! lukkee at awll the prittee kulllers!
@.@
dat wuzzn’t a cow boi.
dat wuz a cow PI.
Stake n kidlee pi?
A Pribit Inbestigaytor?
.
.
.
Oh, I could go SO MANY diffrent wayz wif dis….
oar peecawn pi?
mmmm…peecawn pi…..warmed jusst a littlol bit….wif jusst a littlol bitt ob ies kreem wiffit…..*drools*
ai’z hungree nao..
waet….yoo sed pribit inbestigaytor? wut’s sew funneh abowt da………
*snerk* oh…ai giddit nao…
nope, cow pi.
no way red cudda stole a cow boi, coz I never cotted one.
.
If u will go bak and rereed chapter elebenty, u will see that I did ackshully set a noo trap and cotted me a real Scotzman.
And I has hided him… for his own proteckshun, which boviously wuz a gud idea!!
waet a minnit….duzzn’t chaptur elebentee yoosually meen dat teh purr sun iz baenkruptededed?
Wayle, ifn it nawt ur cowboi, den whose shurt did I
tear awfend up warin?**Finks to hurself: Do I relee wanna kno teh anser to dis?**
well, ai knoez wuz nawt mien……..sins ai nawt yooses wun….afturr awl, ai has a scaelee coat…
If iz reel Scotsman Himz nawt hide inna minnut.
*taks up nouncment awn teh fenspost.*
SCOTSMANS NAWT can plai teh baggy pieps. Sawnds liek drownded kittehs. Irishmans plais teh pieps sawnds liek anguls singings.
Scotsmans Nawt can holds hiz whiskees liek teh Irish,
Scotsmans Nawt can charm teh ladees liek teh Irish.
I finx the Spaniards are the best wiff the baggy pypes, jest saying.
Dats cuz awl teh irishmans hired awn as soljurs foar the king uf Spain in teh 1500’s.
Lucky iz in teh ‘partmint, keepin it warms foar me.
**luuks askanse at WRr**
Why u askin?
Ai wantz tu tellz him whar tu luk 4 Ur clothes inna morning. U no whut tekillya duz tu dem.
**luuks unner blankee**
WARE DID DEY GO!?!?
Gud fing I gots dis blankee…
Nawt tu wurree, teh nice cowboi let u burro his shurt.
**luuks at shurt**
Teh buttonz iz tored awf, dere is a tare in wun of teh sleevez…
Dang, I musta had sum fun wif him!
plz try again laytur.
sry foar teh inconveenyunse…. MY inconveenyunse, that iz.
Ur inconveenyunse iz nun of my consern.
Me. Iz awl abowt me. I’m teh kitteh. U iz teh servant.
yew doan niid sox, iz nyce an warm owtsyde, liek abowt thirtee degrees, warm enuff foar u tew goe tew stoar foar moar…
Albacore
Bebbekittehfud
Cheez!
D…
**hazza sad when she realyzes dat 30* iz WARM compared to heer tonite**
luk on brite side-tekila stayz kold on da porch
iz annoyin herez in columbus OH, will starts tew meltz tehn pyle eben moar onz
*has an angry*
I alsew hazza a chillee fur deh saem reezun, rhsb.
Wear I iz, deh termomeater haz bean below 25* for weaks naow.
Ai iz reddy fur spring, Ai finkso, yes.
or eben betur summerz!!
butt taht iz just mii opine yon
Me too! I’m in KY, btw. Frozen Tundra of the Souf. Teh grass iz bloo becuz iz COLD!
I nawt waytin until Spring. I’m gonna go move in wif a cheezfren until at leest May.
I been through teh Kentucky but i neber saw no blu grassez
iz it teyre in teh summerz?
Iz teh type of grass dat grows heer. U supposedlee see a bloo-ish tint wen ur flyin above it.
I nebber thot to luuk wen I flyed, so I nawt ablol to tell u ifn iz troo.
aws, butz iznt alsoz boutz teh Blugrass muzicz
iz bofe, aifinkso….
I fink Bluegrass Moosic gawt itz name from the the Kentucky Bluegrass grass which isn’t so blue. Bloograss moosic is usually Guitar, banjo, mandolin, bass, violin and generally each instrument gits a chants to solo at sum point durink a song. Bloograss moosic is quite differmint from country or western.
But, I lykes bofe – countree AN western!
*points thumb over shoulder* We’re gonna go tawk ta Bob.
Bloograss iz teh mudder uf bof countree adn westurn mooziks. Oar mai collidj moozik teechur wuz nawt right.
Bloograss moosic been around a lawng lawng tyme, lawng enuff to have spawned Country, western, and praps some over styles. I’se shir yer perfesser wuz rite.
wii haz got teh bloo sprooce foar owr stayt tree, saem idee aifinkso
iz a summer grass, yesh…..iz jusst dat dere iz a littlol bloo tint awn dem…butt nawt liek iz paynted bloo oar anefink…
yesh, but spring = allergees! (lotsa sneezing comin from cal-ee-for-nyah)
Pfft. Ai haz dem awl yeer – speshlee wif teh Santa Anas.
meh…ai has weerd allergeez awl teh thyme…durink teh winturr, summur, sprin k, fawll, adn wutebbur eles….*snifflol* ai currentlee has a stuffy/runny noes, mai sinuses arre stuffed adn maek mai hed hurt, adn mai throat hurts frum dranaje……….
ugh……..ai nawt feelz gud………
dat 30* centee groad? Tis dam n chilly n 50 * F ‘ere. Harvey Carlo Cat has been thru flap 3 timeses in 5 dayzez
30*F, nawt C.
Heer, iz gonna be 3*F tonite. Nawt shure wut dat iz in C, but heer it meens, “Holee Carp iz cold!”
at leest deh carp will be frozen, now smellee
haz bin liek 20 F heer, liek…awl dai………*shibburz*
fur goodnezz saekz….afturr awl….ai’z a dragon, liek a reptiel, adn iz cowld bludded…..sew…..teh….cowld……maekz……meh……………moove………….beree………….slwelee………….adn den…………can git…..bad……..fur…..meh………….*collapsiz awn teh grownd*
*sets up heet lamp and warm bed for Draconic Kitteh*
*sets owt glasses of tekila*
DK nawt can haz teh Tekillya him iz teh minor…
Her DK U can haz mai hawt chokklit. Ai will drinks teh tekillya fur U.
oooops! long dai stops brayne!
*hands DK hawt chokilit wif whippee kreeme*
*hands WRr tekillya*
*slowlee waekz up*
*openz eyez a littlol bitt*
ooh…..*shibburz* iz…..sew….cowld….still……….*curlz upp adn triez tew warm self upp*
wuz -5F wen ai wented owt tew feed mai horses 2 howrs ago… ai kan haz 20F pleez?
duz yoo has anne snoez? ai’ll taek dem…..ebben -5F wif snoez iz bettur dan 20F wif rayne dat nebbur chaynjes intew snoez…..forzen puddlols, butt no snoez….
yesh wii haz lawts uf snoes…had tew shovel snoe off roof uf howse a kupple week week weeks ago cuz dere wuz sew much. iz up tew teh horses’ chests…ai kan haz spring naow, pleeeezzzzz???
o wao….dat’s lawtz ob snoez…..ai can has sum plz?
come on up and help yerseff – bring a big truck!!! ai think teh neswpaper sayd that Syracuse haz had more than 100 inches uf snoe so far this winter…wii get more that they du!
howlee carp!!
*imajinez a goldfish (carp) howling*
*faespaw*
*kwietlee* wai du ai ebbenn trai?
bekawse dis is the onliest plase yewl find dat loosing is fun too.
yur rite, ob cowurse……
gah…mai hed hurtz rite nao….
UK!!!!!
Hao u doin, fren? Hao iz teh jawb?
*hic*
ohai rhsb! teh jawb iz teh pleh, but iz a paychek. bizness ia gedding bery bad tho, layd offmore peeps last week, more this week, ai ownlee had tew werk 3 days this week … 24 howr paychek nawt much help wif bills
beddr watch owt fer that WRR, aifinkso….iz him trying tew get yew drunk?
Dat wud be about -17 C
Desserts, wif daeree kreme
enchilladaz wif cheez, holde teh enchiladaz
fishy stiks n buttur saus
gooda cheez
H…
GMTA, MarquiseFelinette …
Hake, white and flakee
Izecreem, hold da ize
Joosee Cheezburgrs
Kitteh treets,
L…
teehee, ndeed MomCatAnna!
nao ai b hungree!
Little-bit-o-nip
Marinated Fishes – ceviche
Natural ingredients only ob korse
O…
Onyon ringies
Plunty ub teh Joosee Cheezburgers taht MomCatAnna menshunned
Quishez?
R…
Rats-a-roni
Snausages
Toooooooona
U…
Udder gushie fuds
Very much gushi fuds
Well why r u still here, where’s my fuds
X…
Ai mayded ceviche last nite!
we lubs the seviche!
*drool*
now ai has teh egg-straw hungree!
Deeelishus treets
Eben moar treets
Fish! All Kinds
Gushifuds
H….
Dead mice (iz lazy)
Elebenty cheezburgers
Fish foar dinnerz
G…
Den sox be sorta like ICHC servers
wut, missmatcht?
Ur undr panz ave airz on dem too -
Dat cud tikklol ur fancee.
Ai maded teh commint but WP nommed it.
Wuz reba awn U toobs singing abowt Fancee.
oar ummm…..ummm…..
yoo knoe wut? ai’z nawt ebben gonna trai tew finish dat staetmint…..*goes awff tew teh NB*
those are the best soxs to use, are already warm
sox has bin nommed bai dryyur…..srry…..
LOL!! sortaa….ai’z watchin a fink awn teevee…rite nao sum poleesemenz wurr arrestink a YNGal…awltho ai dunno abowt teh yung part…wuz nawt sed wun wai oar teh othur…..annewai, ai jusst thot dat it wuz funneh, speshualee wen dey calleded teh fyermanz tew halp…….
um, DK, after seberal yeers of a steady relayshunship wiff de ONGals, yewl be able to tell the differmints wiffout bean tole. Annow, I be inna NB inna unlykey kase dat enneywuns lookin fer me (unless dey has a rope in dat kase Ise outta town, Kay?)
ai nawt cud tell, cuz it wuz filmed wif a dashcam awn a poleese car…adn moast ob hur wuz awl blurred owt annewai…sew ai nawt cud tell……
Deh Nite Watchman haz just kumpleeted himz rowndz uv deh Cheezland. Awl wuz az it shud b; deh streetlitez casting haloz uv lite threwout deh town, deh streetz wuz deh kwiet, a small party b going on in deh lounge wif deh okkazhunal reveler making himz way home.
.
Az deh Nite Watchman drew neer tu deh Princess Mu Medow, he saw a small somber groop uv peepz neer dhe gate. Wen he approeched, wun uv dem came over tu him and sed, “Dere b a spechul goggie kumming tunite bai deh name uv totte, plz tu making him welkum and at eeze.”
.
Eric, teh Nite Watchman, replied, “Awl deh petz hoo b kumming heer b speshul. But I noez wut u meen. Not tu wurry, he will b well kared for heer.” Den, Eric turned and entered deh Medow. He walked slowly threw deh grass to deh middlol uv deh medow and sat down in deh moonlite. He kawlinged owt tu awl deh lost kittehz and dey kameded tu him, sum kame aloan adn sum kame in groopz. He pettid and snorgloled and lubbinged dem awl.
.
Den, he gottid up and walkinged tu deh far side uv deh medow and kawlled owt, “Totte!! Heer, boi! Heer Totte!!” A beeyooteeful collie came bownding up tu him and stood, plaising himz frunt pawz on deh nite watchman’z chest. Eric tussloled the colliez nekk and strokez himz hed. “Gud boi,” he sed. Totte dropped tu awl forez adn dehy wakkinged tugezzer. Eric tawked softlee, “U haz ben deh bestest goggie, totte. Mumrik sed u wuz. U gabe hur moar happeeness dan u kub eber noez. u wuz hur bestest frend. Shii will awlwayz lubbing u.”
.
Totte yipped in agreement. “yes,” Eric sed, “I noez u lubbinged her wif awl ur hart. she wuz deh bestest frend tu u, tu. Adn she haz maded deh hardest deshizun uv her life wen she chose tu set u free tuday.” Hearing dat, totte ran across deh medow at full speed tu show himz delite, hii surkulled rownd, adn kame tearing bak, knokking Eric over in himz egg sitement at being restored tu perfect helthz. Deh tu uv dem rolled and tussloled in deh medow for a moment. Den deh tu uv dem gottid up adn walkinged intu deh woodz.
awwwww……
thats beyutiful, cweenmj!
now ai has teh leekee eyes!
{{tottee}} {{Mumrik}} {{cweenmj}}
{{{Mumrik}}} eet beh the hardest fing tew dew… and the proof ub juss hao much wii lub dem tew beh letten dem goes, when awl wii reallee wants is tew keep dem klose.
.
(((tottee))) pleasant thymes, whyl yew waits bai da bridj fur Mumrik.
.
Fangs yew cween, fur cumfurts tew Cheezfrens as we sai “sea yew soon” tew owr frens wif furs and fevvers.
oh bai teh wai, mai cween? ai has hadded a kwestyun…..iff ai maeks annuthur ranDUM mowmint sumtiem soon, doo yoo finkso dat ai shud add sum ob teh noos awff ob teh cheeztown cryer? wuz just a thot ai hadeded….wut iz yur thotz?
I fink dat kud making fur an inturesting mowmint…. so u ken ifn u wantz tu.
Schmoooz.
fankyoo…ai juss wanted tew sii wut yoo wud fink aboawt it…..
Nao my vishun iz relee bad.
**goes to fix leeky eies**
Awsum job az yooshual, cween.
{{{{{cweenmj}}}}} taht iz soo speshul. ai be lookin at teh lovely pickshure ov your Eric sumtiems. *sniff* ai am shure he be looking after tihs Totte an mah Gizmo an awl teh kittehs an goggies bery, bery well.
mai iis aer awl leekee tew…
{{{cweenmj}}}
{{{totte}}}
{{{nite watchman}}}
Muh hart breaks an my eys leek fer Totte and Mumrik
Thankyou Cweenmj fer sharink wiff us the stories about the difficult but wunderful jawb bean dun by the Night Watchman, Eric.
{{{{{Mumrik}}}}}} {{{{{tottee}}}}}} {{{{{{cweenmj}}}}}}
Ohai….luv-le. Sob, Sniff,sniff
fang q cweenmj is teh bestest most nicest adn teh saddest stories i b herring in a long timez…
*Eies flooding with tears*
*deeply moved*
eben tho i is new to cheezland, my i’z are very leeky too. i hope that my bloved kitteh Grayson iz n such a butimous plas wif all da other wunderful bebbehs n our lives. we will alwayz miss dem but day alwayz be wif us in our hearts.
Teh Princess mu meadow is hoem tu awl kittehs adn goggies taht has had tu leev their hoomin frens. Ai am shur teh watchman is taeking berry gud care uf Grayson foar U.
{{{{3kittymomma}}}}
tank yu for that comfort. we misses hims soooo much
Ohai 3kittymomma. Welkum to Cheezland — itz a lubberlee playse.
…
Donut feer. Grayson beez well luuked aftur by teh Nite Watchman, along wif awl teh uvver aminlols dat haz crost teh brij.
many sorriz fur my late reply had tu tend to leeky i’z and hooman hormonal teenage bebbeh. manie thank yu’s 4 da bery kind wordz and welcomz
*offurs 3kittymomma a choklit martoonie*
tank yu bery much, luv da chokliks an likour. plees have bourbon ball frums KY
HAR! Muh unkle libbed in Lexinton Ky and he camed to bizzit wunst and broughted a bawx ob choclits which muh Dad hid way up hi inna likker cabinet above the fridge. I stacked up some chares and risked muh lyfe to steal summa these candies (I wuz a choko feend even then, age 8). I grabbed two – slammed dem bofe in muh mush and climbed down. When I wuz safe I bit into dem and dey were filled wiff bourbon!! Yech Yuck Pleh Barf Blargh!
that sounds better that what my dad encountered upon a similar occasion. Thinking to snitch some chocolate (it’s heriditary, apparently) he grabbed a handful and stuffed it into his mouth………..only to encounter, for the first time in his life.
.
.
goose liver.
My soon-to-be-former FIL maded sum hevy-dooty bourbon balls.
Nawt a big fan of them myself, I decided to try wun.
At werk.
I was so shure dat I wuz gonna get in trubblol! U could smell it awn my breff!
Him yoozed Wild Turkey 101.
beeyutimuss, mai cween. *softlee klapping floofy wite paws*
{{{{{Mumrik}}}}}
{{{{{Totte}}}}}
Whenever I read the Night Watchman stories, I am amazed at how beautifully-told stories in lolspeak can be.
…
*doffs cap to cweenmj*
{{{{{Mumrik & Totte}}}}}
…
*wandurrs off to tend to leekee eyez*
ai agree – ai haz a fren hoo iz nawt a cheezpeep, wen cween roted a storee fer mai Max ai reed it tew her…she liek it sew much ai had tew print owt awl teh Nite Watchman stories fer her. ai offered tew copy them in RL speek fer her, she sai they wuz bedder in lolspeek
*fayntz*
*handz tishooz tu awl deh leekee ide peepz.*
Fankeez fur deh kind wurdz, Nightshayde adn uzzerz. i lubz u awl.
.
{{{{Cheezpeepz}}}}
.
Dis storee b joyning deh uzzerz at on paige 2 uv deh watchman series.
http://www.cheeztowncryer.wordpress.com/teh-nite-watchman/nite-watchman-2/
Ai tolded mah fren hooz sistur jus had a kitteh cross teh brij recentlee. Ai hasta send hur (an hur sistur) teh linkee to teh storeez.
Thanks fur teh tishooz! Ai noo Erik wud taek gud care of Totte!
But. . .mai aiez ar so leekee rite nao that . . .ai can hardlee rite.
This iz so byootiful. . .werdz fayle me.
Oh cweenmj. Ai culdz not read more dan one paragraph before getting leaky eyes. Ai readed alla da postz yesterdai and got leaky eyes. Ebery time ai reads
bout da petz going ober da bridje, mai heart breaks. Ai has so many petz *googies adn kittehs* dat be ober da bridje. Mai tender heart – let me show u it.
Sawkz Chekkurr Kitteh
sez dayrz eenuff sawkz heer. U
duzzentz needz ennee
Sawkz Chekkurr Kitteh
awllso sez himz habz lawtza
rume 4 prittee feengz
Sawkz Chekkurr Kitteh
beez kwyte cumfurtibbill. Wantz
Prittee Wun cloazz drawwr
Jack.
gud wun!!
as yoosual, yoo has astawndeded uz wif yur amayzink powetree…..
Gud nite, cheezpeeps! Itz tiem to going hoam – finallee!!!
gud nite, NS!
pleez du be saf going to da home
dryb safe! schmoos tew yew and Roscoe!
apparentlee, dis kitteh has hurself a hedakke….
*snerk*
I finkso I needs to hed to bed an try to get sum sleeps. I’m yawnin so dats a gud fing, rite?
‘Nite folks!
**crawls unner teh cubbers an leebs only her hed stikkin owt**
*wooks at awl teh posts* woo, eberyone here ish swo muche fazter den I… it apperez dat peeps post as soon as te picture poofs. *is impressed* woo
Dat looks cumfy, rhsb. *crawls unner cubbers too* ‘Night
Dun’t worries, Silverpaw, 4 sum peeps is important 2 B furvest from last on teh thread and dey does a littlol racing gaym. But teh jokes and teh mooving storees are usually told furver down teh thread, so tayk ur taym and just jump in. *extends feeler to shake Silverpaw’s paw in frendship*
Dis beh commint freehunnred! Woohoo!
i’m in ur drawurr, furrin ur clothes. whats an owtfit wifout cat hair?
Not avalible.
Sox is beein reformed:
yey! dis iz gona b gud! dog wil cum and hooman wil…hooman wil…uhoh.