All right–this side’s warm.
All right–this side’s warm. Now move the heater.
put on a sweter. i nawt made awt of monee.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption:
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Cheezburger Network Blog
* teh cheezfrends arr gathered arownd teh hyooge wrought iron gaytes at teh entrunce tu teh gnu Cheezland Safareh Park *
.
* slowlee, slowlee, a figger appears frum teh darkness… it is Guinness Piggeh, ob corse… teh gaytes open slowlee wib a creek *
.
GP is standy awl alown juss insyde teh open gaytes, adn whut an extraordinary little pig he is!
.
He has a black tawp hat awn hims hed, he has a tayl coat maed ob a byootimuss plum coloured belbet, his trowsers arr bottlol green, his glubbs arr perlee grey adn in won paw he has a fyne gold-topped walking cayne…
De park!! De park is open!!
I can has tee-shurt?
oh hai chheeezz freenns! icanseetehsafaree, to?
I beez a berry layte cheezfren.
sawee, ai been away…
Where’z mai camera!!1
Is kodak moment, GP luukin very debonair tuday!!
*kilk! FLASHkilk! FLASHkilk! FLASH
kilk! FLASH kilk! FLASH kilk! FLASH
kilk! FLASH kilk! FLASH kilk! FLASH
mai iis! mai iis! ai cannt see ennyfing naow!
Sowwee!!
iz okay, ai iz usuhlee awn teh otter syde uv kamra!
Meh too, pleez tu nawt gets mai rear-end in enny piks Janet!!!
OOOH das iz mai rewlz tew! no rear-end pikturs! EWW!
Nawt to werree! Ai hardlee ebber take the “rear-end” pikchoors – an ai haz a majikal camera so ebree wun luks beautiful!
.
Ov corse, taht is nawt reelee needed heer, but iz sumtaims handee!
But But But (hee hee hee) I hasta documint the histeric momunt so pleese to keep yer dairyairs outta the frame iffen you doan wanna be inna foto.ere
Afpur you’ve walked around a taken a few pictures, please feel free to drop by the BBQ Pavilion
*P. Mu gestures tew a large pavilion on the right.*
The Pavilion contains BBQ pits wiff roasted corms and beef an baked beans
Beer and lemondade anspecialty drinks are availible upon request! Just ask any YNG
Iz teh BBQ pavillion Maus-proof ??
An imposibility! now he has his own table neer the scotch area. i plan to keep it overflowing with food , to discurage any thefft acts on Mauses part
*Scampers in and steals ALL the BBQ*
Fanks Mu!
*Scampers away to the Maus Hole*
* accidentally trips Maus while trying to get up from swooning *
*kk4 rushes behind tessm wif big platter* *catches all da bbq*
Good job KK4 and Tessm!
Good bbq princessmu!!!
*weeklee*
whut? oh, BBQ? NOM!
** nomnomnomnomnomnom **
Mmmmm…got any moar coleslaw ??
*adds coleslaw tew plate*
Fank u!!
Dis be teh nommiest BBQ eber,Princess!
thank u eeck deer
Yay! BBQ! nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom
NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM
aneewun godda nappykin?
*hands bluesfan473 a nappy*
heer ya go!
Boop!
*whispurs* ai lubs your abatart! sew kyoot!
Fank u fer teh nappy (an teh compleement
)
aifinkso ai luk bedder wifowt teh bbqsawce awl ober mai furz
Boop!
I saw wut u did there!
who, moi?
it wuz lyke taht when ai gotted heer!
ai wuz just tryin to halps!
MMMMMAAAAAAUUUUUSSSSSSS!~!~!~!~!!!! *shakes fist*
* GRABS MAUSE BY THE TAIL, SEAT BELTS HIM INTO HIS CHARE AT HIS TBLE*
*atempts to retreiv pateince*
*Pulls out hidden BBQ supplies and foods from behind kitchen kurtain*
*Pouts*
Geez. Sorry Mu. It smelled so good I couldn’t stop myself.
wile u is
restrainedsittin there eeting, how bout a movie?*rummage rummage*
LUK! We has ur favrite!
Lub Story!!!
*starts film*
Lets sings tu Maus!! Yoooooooo lite up mai liiiiiiiiiife….
AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
*Gnaws through his restraints*
*Scampers away*
wow, fur a littul guy, he moves reallee fast!!
Him jes need proper motivation, aifinkso!
you gibs me hooooooooaaaaap
tooo carrreeeee aaaaaaaawwwwwn!
YU lite up my daaaaaaze
an fill my niiiiiites wiff saaaawwnggg…
{{{maus}}} u are mai biggest fan an mi biggest headache deer!
* loosens the seatbelt a touch*
*brings mause a fresh Scotch*
.
Yoo know – ai wuzn’t shur if Maus wuz . . .a guy. . .until he asked mee fur a scotch insted ov teh hawt choklit!!! A long taim ago. . .
It’s funny, a whole bunch of guys don’t tend tew hang out heer ( exceptin YNG’s), but wons who dew are so clever and funny and nice! Come bak mause!!! we wont maek u watch love story!!!!
We promiss!!
*ebil smirk*
*Peeks in*
Well… I dunno…
Is there any BBQ left?
I can has takeout? I has some pleh TPS reports to finish…
*fixes a littlol picknik bassket*
Heer u go! gude luk wiff the report!
*stiks a copy of Stele Magnolyas in the baskit*
TPS ??
Truly Powerful Stuff ??
Terribly Pressing Stuff ??
Trite Pessimistic Sayings ??
Oh mai!! WHAT a beautimaus Pavi Lion!!
*admirez teh silken drayperiees an tassles an ribbonsz flying from teh britelyee colored posts*
An ebree thing SMELLZ so gud!
.
kilk! FLASHkilk! FLASHkilk! FLASH
kilk! FLASH kilk! FLASH kilk! FLASH
kilk! FLASH kilk! FLASH kilk! FLASH
.
{{janet}}
* hands Janet a comemerative safari park martini glass*
* fills it wiff cold chokolit martini*
NAO ai haz a reel happee!
Frenz – gud frenz *sniff*
Waht wud we doo wiffaut them????
Thanks, Princess Mu!!!
*sitz on teh prittee Ottoman an sips teh cold chokolit martini*
*luks at awl teh festivleee drisst happee Cheezpeeps passing bai*
*sip sip sip*
Wat luvvly glasses!! Ai can have chokolit martini?
sure can! * hands KK4 a nyce cold coklit martini n a comemoritive glass*
Oooh! ooooh! Me, too, plz. And fanques
*clinkee glasses wif Q* Mmmm, is good martoonies!!
Yesh, oh yesh. Cheers, m’dears1
cheesez twice! it’s a pavi lion!! GET INNA BUS!!
win!!!! tessm lol!
@@@@@@@!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHhahahahahah!!!
*Fawls off Ottoman again*
*manajes to save teh choklit maroonee*
*sitz awn Pavi Lion floor – still laffing*
*sip sip sip sip sip*
* tops off martini, givs Janet a pillow fur hur bum*
FTW, tessm, U is soo klever!
.
(I can haz cheezes twise?)
iz lunchtime, ifinkso!! yum
tikkets plz
Duz wi get wrist bands, too?
eff ur frum heer, u needz dem foar teh drinkees at konserts et setra.. iz pleh
oooh, GP! ebbery inch teh gentelpiggeh! *swoons*
“byootimuss plum coloured belbet, his trowsers arr bottlol green, his glubbs arr perlee grey. . .”
OOOOhhhhhh
*swoons next to tessm*
he does look lovely!
icanhazpichers? ai beez berry, berry layte. Sawee!
Uhoh – ai feels sumwat nawt eligunt enuf foar dis …
*runshoemwifakwikniss tu gets maor eligint cloves foar tu bees werrin*
*stairs at clawsit ful ob teh gardingnin cloves an teh cloves wut ownlee fit 20lbs ago an awl teh cloves leff obur frum teh ohaiskuul daes in teh Sebbentees*
*shruggs, an puts awn KrissMows hat an sparklolee eerings wif wut she wuz awlreddee waring, witch is moar gardingin cloves*
*runswifakwikniss bak tu teh Grand Opinin*
Ohai, ai ar bak – wadaimiss??
Yur closet soun like mine, nicewitch!! Yu looks luvvly!
An mine!!
did u bring enny gardening
weaponzimplementz foar teh cocomut fingy?Whu can we see nawt sekund???
Ar yoo shur yoose at teh Safareh Park, an nawt the chokolit factory?
dingdingdingdingding!!! Wii has a Weiner!!!
.
Yu has won… * rummage rummage rummage * a Cocomonut!
An, Gp, yoo due luk smashing tewdai! Bery hansum!
*gives teasel a siedlong luk*
Jus don luk at mii askance!
why, wut is it doin??
Ummm… doin tings tew mai cocomonut… trying tew opin et, afinkso. Pls nawt tew luk strait awn at teh askance.
oh! ai thotted uv taht, butt (!) ai did nawt see u do a somersaults…!
*luuks askanse*
*still swooning*
Oooo,GP..u luk FABULOUS!!!
Nao where are awl teh bebbeh animols….ai MUST see teh bebbeh animols!
Oh..after ai stawp at teh haggis cart,uv corse!!
Um ai will leev de haggis fur u, eeck, and go strayt to de bebbeh animolols, the to de cocomonut shy, ifinkso.
ohai then!!
Step rite up!! We has a treet for u here today!
Dis is a tradishun brotted to us from TTI so hopefully we is doin it rite.
Tis a Coconutt Shy!!
.
*”I’ve Got a Luvverly Bunch of Coconutts” plays in the bakgrownd*
.
*Leeza steps asied and everyond can see a booth*
*stacked up in the bak r coconutts*
*Dan stands to the sied wif sword at the reddy in case any coconutts get to close to Leeza*
.
For only one munnie per coconutt, u can have a go at smashin one of these
deadleetasteee coconutts!U gets to keep all the ones u bork. If u don’t want the ones u bork, and hoo
wudwudn’t, u can taek them to Parrothead’s Safarigaritaville Stand just round the corner and she willoblitermarategentlee blendify them into a luvvlyy pina coladah for u!.
Now, I has some
weaponzfings here u can use if u didn’t bring ur own stuffs to try andkillbork the coconutts.*holds up a slingshot*
U can use this, wif our patented Auntie Mater ® pellets. They is made wif the two gratest opposing forses I cud find: cheezluv, and troll slobber.
This will make kwite a bang so I sugjest stayin bak at leest 20 yards.
*czechs to make shure the weezles stokked the furst ade kit*
Who’s furst???
U, luvscats??
klik! FLASH klik! FLASH klik! FLASH
Mai kitteh went to teh Cheezland Safareh Park opening adn awl I got wuz a lowsy tee shurt!!
*Handz leeza a munne adn takingz deh slingshot
* adn Auntie Mater ® pellets.
Lemme seee…. chekk deh windige, aim adn
FIRE!!
.
*Deh Auntie Mater ® pellets flying trew deh airz and striking deh kokonutz.
KA-BOOM!!
*KOKONUT SHARDZ EBBREEWAIR!!!
*Runz arownd gavvering kokonut partz adn hedz off tu Parrothead’s Safarigaritaville Stand humming — Dhere standz mii wife, deh idlol uv mii life …
I wanna goes nawt second!!! *kk4 grabs slingshot* THWACK. *kk4s Auntie Mater pellet plows into coconut, ricochets off an hit anudder coconut*
Skweeee!! I gets two of dem!! *runs tu Parrotheads pina-colada booth*
*ahem*
r u forgettin something?
*holds owt hand*
Oh, um, yesh….*rummage rummage rummage* Here’s da munees, ai gotted all xcited!!
Hay peeple!
These coconutts arent gonna
killbork themselves!!Common… think uv teh babbeh otters!!
ai kan try pls? *hanz over munnies*
ai brotted a tall bilding to throw cocomuts off uv.
* throws cocomut offa tall bilding *
*
*
*
*
*
###
oh, luuk! it werked!
verra nise, verra nise tessm!!
::Handz leeza teh munne adn takz teh slingshot::
::Declines Auntie Mater ® pellets::
Fanks ai gawt mai own.
::Pulls owt miniature thermonuclear nut cracker::
*FWIP*
*BOOOOOM SHROOOOOM*
Hey, is it snowing?
~rethinks reckless use ob colons~
Always tu be responsible wif da colon, aifinkso!!
*laffing helplesslee awn the floor again*
Veree *gasp* *chortle* festiffff . . . .LOL!! LOL!! *gigglol*
Ai can’t breethe!!!!! LOl!! ROFL!
anyboddy else??
we needs every money we can get for teh babbeh pandas!!
and plz plz plz not to be leeving me wif a bunch of unborked coconutts….!!!!!!!!!
.
LUK!
*holds up babbeh otter*
We is givin these away as prizes to teh purrson hoo
killsborks the most coconutts!!.
Ur verra own babbeh otter!!!!
.
Wut is that worth to ya???
Bebbeh otterz uv mah bery own???!!!!!1!!!!!!
*hands ober elebenty munnies*
*tries to figyur owt hao to bork a whole bunch uv coconutts at wunce*
…
*pondur* *pondur* *pondur*
Oooh — ai haz an idea!!!
*runsawaywifakwikness to wher teh construkshun ekwipment is stored*
.
.
.
*returnz, drivin an empty cement mixur*
*tosses elebenty coconutts into teh back uv teh mixur*
*seelz awl teh openings (nawt wif real seelz or eben sea lions – donut wurree) eksept fur wun wich haz a small hole*
*dribes teh cement mixer & coconutts behind teh blast-proof Safareh Land barrikaydes*
*carefully inserts a stik uv dy-no-mite into teh small hole in teh cement mixer spout & lights teh bery bery lawng fuse*
*runs to saef distanse*
.
.
.
KA-BOOM
.
.
*runz bak to cement mixer & unseelz teh opening*
It werked! Dere iz nao elebenty smashified coconutts in heer!
…
*getz pet crayte fur hur new bebbeh otterz*
Hao menny duz ai get?
well there is only one, for teh grand prize!
we has to wate to see if anyone can beet ur rekord!
hay wate!
one of these is only haf smashed!
*marks ns’s card ‘elebenty minus 1/2*
…
*grabs a sledgehammer & smashes teh preeveeyuslee unsmashed 1/2 coconutt*
…
Ai can haz credit fur teh full elebenty nao?
ai’ll trai!!!
*handz leeza a munnie an taeks a giant Claymore sword (nawt mine- ai meen – it IZ mine – but ai dont meen teh claymore’s that go “boom” -laiek LOL!! Camplol Soop!!
.
OK! Ai’m reddiee!
*Putz coconutt awn teh tablol*
*raises teh Claymore wif both hans hai up over hur hed*
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!
*pieces ov cocomutt an tablol go flying ebreeware*
Mai own babee otter???? An ai dont eben hav to bee a Pregnant Otter to get
wun??
*Putz coconutt awn teh tablol*
*raises teh Claymore wif both hans hai up over hur hed*
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!
*
*Putz coconutt awn teh tablol*
*raises teh Claymore wif both hans hai up over hur hed*
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!
*
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!
‘WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!’
grate job Janet!!
*wipes bits of coconutt off and heds to teh decontaminashun chambers*
Iz he holdin up a soggy bebbeh otter? Cuz dat wud ruin teh effect.
* WEEEEK WEEEEK WEEEEK *
Welcum, Welcum, Welcum, won adn awl tu teh Grand Opening ob teh nawt sekkund Cheezland Safareh Park!!!elebenty!!!
.
Plz tu follow meh – adn trai tu keep up! Wii has lawts tu sea adn teh Tour Bus wheel be leabing in * czechs pawket watch * EEP! 30 minnits! Hurree Hurree! Tihs wai!
*follows GP*
I can go on teh tour?
Or shud I stay here and wate at my boof?
Gp- we haz 30 minnits before tour bus leevs- ai haz time for a qwik visit to the YNG schmoo and massage boof???
oh, oh, mii naught sekond!!!
itz ok, I’ll take teh private tour later. *wink wink*
I opend teh booth alreddy, people were axing!
Shurelee we shud awl go awn teh toor – an TEHN has teh fun an refreshmints? Moar fun that way!!
*saunters that way*
Oh!! {{{{{{shirley66}}}}}}} LOl!!!! Shurlee yoo know that . . .*fawls off Ottoman laffing*
::Picks up Janet and dusts her awf::
{{{{{JCH4K}}}}}
I DO! I do know that dot dot dot
Ai jes gawt done watchin’ Mama Mia for teh elebentieth tiem.
Oh mai achin’ DID
Oh!!! Sorree! Ai dint meen to hurt yur DID! Wud it halp if massasj it a
littlol?? Ai just got thiz niz oyl frum a stand ober there! Sez it “Fixes Enething!”
Why Janet, datz berry kind ob yew, but ai’m nawt sure wii awr dat close. Aw, hoo am ai kiddin’. Go right ahed.
*ahhhhh*
dot dot dot
Oooooooo!! Dotz!!
*shyly raises paw*
*whispers wif a meek voyce*
kin ai goes tew?
Ohai Demoncat53! Oh yesh yesh yesh! Wii has an extry large tour bus reddy tu go in… * czechs watch * 8 minnits!
*loiters next tew Demoncat53 waiting fur tour bus*
Ohai Demoncat, nice tew meet cha. This iz gunna bii phun.
ohai nativeca66
nice tew meetcha tew. This iz gunna bii a bestest wai to spend mai dai of leezure i finkso
*wispurrs* Happy birfday J!
* gifts Deamon cat wiff a silver an jade headband*
ohboiohboiohboi!!
Iz your birfday????
Ai did nawt know dat !!
iz magicklol bus? big enuf foar EBBERYWUN!
*jk2 luuks at yewlol sumbareen bus*
*pondurs a minnit*
Am ai at rite stawp fur teh majikul mistree toor?
OH, GP, u luk soooo hansom tewdai…
****swoons at teh site****
hands teekit to GP wif a week smile…
***tehn hedbats GP & runz enside***
Hay! * scampersaftutSerendipitywibakwikness *
turnz tew sea GP & gievs him a beeg, wet kiss awn teh noze…he..he..
Aww… otay den, ai nawt chase yu aneemoar! plz tu enjoi teh park!
fanky u, cutie pi…
Yu is luukin so handsom an debonair tuday GP, we ladees nawt kin help arselves!! Yu is irrisistable today!
Hai GP!!
U b lukking exxtra hansun tuday!!
{{{{{{GP}}}}}}}
I b waiting tu see deh seekrit zibit!!
i actually own that space heater!!! it’s way old!!!!!
An bring me sum fuds!
an martoonies!
Yay! *rushes fru teh gait, trampling hardlee aneewun*
jumpz awt awf bf’s way…whew! Sumone iz faizdown n teh
dirt bak there…iz red, aifinso.
Hardly ennyone was trampled today at da opening….film at eleventy.
Dunnawt fergit tew visit teh Dunk_A_Troll boof, furver daown teh thred!
tew da left plz
Now, FLIP!
Hello friends! I’d like to sing a song to commemorate the opening of this fine park!
.
Ahem, ahem *sung to the tune of Welcome to the Jungle (but not as scary)*
.
Welcome to Safari Park
We got fun ‘n’ games!
We got everything you want
We know your cheese-names.
We are the people that can find
Baby animals you’d like to squeeze
If you got the money honey
Donate it to them please!
.
In Safari Park
Welcome to Safari Park
Watch the baby monkeys, monkeys!
I wanna hear you skweeeeeee!
.
Welcome to Safari Park
We’re open every day!
You may end up going broke
But it’s the price you pay!
And you’re a wonderful cheesefriend
Full of awesome and win!
You can taste the bright lights
Just hurry right on in!
To Safari Park
Welcome to Safari Park!
Visit Hugh, Hugh, Huuugh!
You might get a shmoo!
*SHMOO*
ooh, yay! yay! *wild applolawze* awn kore!! awn kore!!
Celine: *snorrgles close tew her Mommeh* Hai
Nd in keepink wib teh moosical theem, ai is plsd to a noounse taht teh DJ boof/kataroke bar iz nao opin (sowee ai is la bit laet butt (hee hee) wassint awaek at 5am nooziland tiem for teh opinink).
Our nawt sekkund moosical peece is Daydreem Beeever bai Teh Monkees. Effryboddy shaek wot yore Mamma gibed yew.
*KK duz stranj weerd nooziland dans to selebrayte*
*furiously clappin floofee paws*
…
Ai will nebber be abel nao to heer teh orijinul verzhun uf dis sawng wiffowt finkin “I wanna hear you skweeeeeeee!”
FTW Hugh!!!
Wile yur at it, kin yu move da house slightly tu da left, ai kin gets more sun dat way, kthxbai.
mah tummehs toastee, nao foar mai bak…
Ummm…iz it jus me,or iz dis kitteh UNUSUALLY large??
Dey make diet crunchifuds,peepol….BUY THEM !
It iz fur shur wun reelee big kitthe!!
Hims hed nawt match hims bodee!
Hims big boneded.
Hai DavchDTc! Ai wuz heoping yoo wud come!! .)
Oh hai eeck!! One of mai kittehs bery large! Him was stray, we have him over a year, but him still finks he nawt gonna have enuff foods. Kittehs sez pleh tu da diet foods doh….jes like ai duz!!
Awl mai kittehs iz forced to eet teh diet fuds beecuz Nikita iz such a moose.
I think she iz teh onlee one who IZZINT losing weught!
Christy,mai rescue kitteh,is liek your kitteh…dere nebber seems to be enuf fuds in teh bowl.
Poor bebbehs, dey not noes dat dey gonna have good noms da rest uf der lives!
..and lots uv luv frum Momma,too!!
She used to get berry jealous uv teh udder kittehs if dey be awn mai lap…she iz nawt so bad nao.
Baby still won let us piks him up, him was abused pretty bad before we gets him, aifinks him always gonna be a little leery of peeps. Is ok, I gots 3 more house kittehs to snorgle wif!!
Parrotlee dey stops beein teh die-et fuds ifn yu eets dem awl at wuns.
Hey! Where did my song go??!!
O duh, its back! Silly WP! sorry friends!
Yur song… it ar relevunt tu mai innerrests… but but but ai no can sea eet!
Lessee if mines has any lucks:
Safareh Boogie
(aplologies to Moon Lollican and BR5-4Elebenty)
sing along: ( http://www.dailymotion.com/video/ximsj_br549-cherokee-boogie or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrlY51TO4Fs )
Well teh guinea pig guide as he scampers along
He teaches visiting Cheezpeeps this safareh song
Singing plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Well-a plz save teh bebbehs, give them forever homes
Well he shows us bebbehs twee and we shout out many squeees
And he even shows us Hugh G. Manatee
Singing plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Well-a plz save teh bebbehs, give them forever homes
Well we ride teh cablol cars and we see teh animlols
But plz to make sure that nobuddy falls
Singing plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Well-a plz save teh bebbehs, give them forever homes
Well we eet yummy fuds and visit the game huts
And we keep on shying those coconuts
Singing plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Well-a plz save teh bebbehs, give them forever homes
Well it’s a Safareh Park built by our G.P.
And he’ll give teh proceeeds all to charity
Singing plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Well-a plz save teh bebbehs, give them forever homes
Well teh guinea pig guide as he scampers along
He teaches visiting Cheezpeeps this safareh song
Singing plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Well-a plz save teh bebbehs, give them forever homes
Hugh’s sawng wuz tehre…den it wuz nawt tehre….it iz teh spookee! Ai wil tri to postify it fer him agin, sorree iffen it shos up twict ebenshullee!
Heer is Hugh’s amazeeng disapeering sawng
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Hello friends! I’d like to sing a song to commemorate the opening of this fine park!
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Ahem, ahem *sung to the tune of Welcome to the Jungle (but not as scary)*
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Welcome to Safari Park
We got fun ‘n’ games!
We got everything you want
We know your cheese-names.
We are the people that can find
Baby animals you’d like to squeeze
If you got the money honey
Donate it to them please!
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In Safari Park
Welcome to Safari Park
Watch the baby monkeys, monkeys!
I wanna hear you skweeeeeee!
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Welcome to Safari Park
We’re open every day!
You may end up going broke
But it’s the price you pay!
And you’re a wonderful cheesefriend
Full of awesome and win!
You can taste the bright lights
Just hurry right on in!
To Safari Park
Welcome to Safari Park!
Visit Hugh, Hugh, Huuugh!
You might get a shmoo!
*SHMOO*
*claps paws* *leaps to feet* FTW Hugh!!!
*wissels*
Yay, Hugh! That was well wurth teh wait!
Well, I see it but it has links, so it might get helded up in customs. So there’s some entertainments before teh tour, here it is again, wifout the links. Click my name for teh tune.
Safareh Boogie
(aplologies to Moon Lollican and BR5-4Elebenty)
sing along: (click my bloo name)
Well teh guinea pig guide as he scampers along
He teaches visiting Cheezpeeps this safareh song
Singing plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Well-a plz save teh bebbehs, give them forever homes
Well he shows us bebbehs twee and we shout out many squeees
And he even shows us Hugh G. Manatee
Singing plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Well-a plz save teh bebbehs, give them forever homes
Well we ride teh cablol cars and we see teh animlols
But plz to make sure that nobuddy falls
Singing plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Well-a plz save teh bebbehs, give them forever homes
Well we eet yummy fuds and visit the game huts
And we keep on shying those coconuts
Singing plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Well-a plz save teh bebbehs, give them forever homes
Well it’s a Safareh Park built by our G.P.
And he’ll give teh proceeeds all to charity
Singing plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Well-a plz save teh bebbehs, give them forever homes
Well teh guinea pig guide as he scampers along
He teaches visiting Cheezpeeps this safareh song
Singing plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Plz save teh bebbehs (plz save teh bebbehs)
Well-a plz save teh bebbehs, give them forever homes
wOOt wOOt!!!!! *claps wildly*
*happee sigh*
A TROOOLEE grate sawng frum ar TROOLEE grate LCB!!!
*thunderous applolsause*
*clappity clappity clappity*
Wooooooo! Auffer, auffer!!!
I has a song, too, but teh silly tour guide piggeh didnot tells me whare or when to preform it.
*pouts*
And it’s MY garden, too!
pfft… NAWT yur garden aneemoar! O, adn reed yur emayos!
Oh, yeah? Well, we’ll see about that laters. I don’t recall signing over any legalish papers or anything like that.
I postified my song twicet and I see it but not on teh Who Be Talking. It will show up evenchually, at least oncet. I hope.
ummm, ai cahn see teh sawng naow, can aneewun else see itz? jus chekin caise uv moar WP weerdness.
I still doesn’t see Hugh’s song yet. Can anyone see mines? Is called “Safareh Boogie.”
ai can nawt seez either wun yet.
Me,eeder.
I don’t see any songs…
ai doan unnerstandz wats goin awn, ai cahn see Hughs sawng up teher but ai gess noe wun else cahn see its *powts*
He singed it tew teh toon uv Welcome tew teh Junglol
ai r sew confusified
okeh, noa i CAN see the sawngs! they r full ov win and awsum!
I’m sure teh cween would be teh happy to postify our songs over on teh Cheezland Cryer. Is I teh correct, cween?
O fer CC’s saik! Naow ai r seein boff songs tew tymes eeech! Duz anee uvver cheesfrend see tehm oar am ai halucinatifyin?? haz bean known tew happin!
I seez dem now!!!!
ai r sew sorree fer teh dubble poast tehre, WP helded teh sawngs up fer almos tew howers!!
OH, ai sees teh sogs naow an tehy are bof WUNDERMUSS!!
Verry katchee!! GRATE jobs bof uv u!!
ROLL UP, ROLL UP! Welkum cheezfrends tew the DUNK -A-TROLL boof! Dunk a troll an winna prize! *Wile suppliez last*. Yew cahn win this luvvley cristal-plastik bowl uv See Munkees, a purplol plastik Hawaiian lei oar this adorimable teensy stoofed manatee made inn the image uv hour own Hugh G! (patent pending).
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Nawt sekund up awn the platform wii haz the infamus “Ai wantz attenshun eben tho ai sez ai doan cair” troll! (BOOOOOOO!).
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Whoo wantz tew tri an dunk this hideous creeture inno the slightlee shark-filled tank??! 3 triez fer onlee 5 munnies an it awl goez tew a gud cauz! Doan crowd naow, doan crowd!
me furst, me furst…ai wants tew DUNK-A-TROLL.
***pushes wai tew frunt…ai haz a gud arm…let me attum***
Taeks aim….bammm!!! Pop goes teh troll!!! Yeah!!!
Wooo hoo! Gud wun Serendipity! U haz wun teh purplol flower lei!
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Nex up wii haz the “Why cahnt u talk rite, boi r u peeps stoopid” troll! (HISSSSS!) Jus tew add tew the funz wii haz plaiced a few pyrahnas intew the tank, alawng wif the sharks! Pai ur munnies an tri ur luk!!! Onlee 5 munnies fer 3 tries! Win a bowl uv See Munkees! *Ohhhhh, Ahhhhh*
klik! FLASH klik! FLASH klik! FLASH
aifink yew mite needz moar battrees bai naow, heer r sum extrees!
ThankZ!!!
Ai furgot to bring extreees!!!
ai’m glad tew hep owt! eff u needz anuddr memoree kard, juz let mi noe!
Reddy….aim…..FIRE!! *troll falls in wadders, makin tremendous splash*
WOOt wOOt!! *wispurrs* kin ai hab da manatee prize? I lubs Hugh!!
GRATE thow there kk4!! ai wunder waht teh negst troll will bee! Ai’m – Oh – THAT wuz the nombrr 6 troll!! OK – ai’ll doo a diffrint wun! ai cud eben doo teh nao – but purrrrhaps nawt furebber – obsoleet Wun Burger Troll! Ai used to fite tehm wif mai Pitchfork!!
Fanks Janet!! Sad but troo, aifinks dat we nebber gunna run out of trolls, wen one goes away anudder one pops up….Is fun to dunks dem in da tank!!
U wer spose tew win teh See Munkees butt (hee hee) otay, heer u goe! *hands over teensy adorimable stoofed manatee*
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Naow wii haz the “Doan u kno u blind ur kitteh by pi x infinitee percent ebree tyme u taik its pixure” troll! Maybee they meen wel, maybee nawt but lets dunk tehm aneehow!! Sekretlee wii haz added a few electrified eelz tew the tank, lets see wat happenz! Yew cud win this wunnerful bowl uv See Munkees!!
Skweeee!!! Fanks Romeow, now ai has my own littlol manatee!! *kk4 holds cute littlol manatee close tu her hart*
*whispers tew kk4* ah’m bluesfan473, nawt romeow, butt nawt tew wurrie. Whoo wudn’t want tew bee romeow! Glad u lykes teh manatee!
*embarissd face* Ai was too xcited!!
~Hands BF473 fibe munnees~
~Itz teh windup, and teh pitch~
*THWACK*
~Hits teh troll square in teh forehed~
Nawt exactlee wut ai wanted tew dew, butt effective.
~Teh count is 1 and oh, here’s teh next pitch~
*BOINK*
Oooooo, right in teh hoohoo. Hoap sumbawdee gawt dat awn camera. I culd send it in tew Funniest Home Videos.
~Teh count is now 2 and oh~
*ZZZZZIP POW PING*
*KERSPLASH, ZAP CRACKLE FLASH*
Ooooo lukee teh pretty lights. Nao the troll is blind.
*applauds madly* Good dunkin der, na66!
iz such a shamye ur aim improoved ther at teh end… *snikr*
plees tew nawt bee embarresed kk4, noe prob at awl!
Awsum fro dere nc66 an grate tew see u agin! U win teh See Munkees!
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Naow on dek in the boof iz a two-fer! Yesh, ai sed a TWO-FER!!!! Fer the nawt sekkund tyme eber in the lawng historee uv this boof wii is trine a dubble dunk!
The dredful “Furst” an the awful “Photoshawped!” showting trollz!! Wi haz naow added elebenty wadder mokkasins tew the tank sew ai fink the reesultz wil bee interesting!
*kk4 runs to booth* A two-fer? I’m down wif dat! *in one hand kk4 has a dead mackeral from down the thread, in other hand is a ball* *kk4 prepares to throw like a nawt girl* *THWACK* *dead mackeral hits troll square
in da face.* *THWACK* *ball hits target, troll falls into wadders, an when troll comes up for air der is dead mackeral in mouf* Dis a fun day bluesfan!!
teh hoohoo??
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My sheltered leif rears its uglee hed again….
see munkees? tehy r sowld tew lil childrun az pets (mostlee in teh bak uv comik buks, at lees wen ai wuz a kidlet) butt tehy r reely jus brine shrimp, teeny tinee speks inna bowl uv wadder.
A fabuuulous prize nontheless!
Fabuuulous INDEED!
*ohboiohboiohboi*
Ai can’t wait.
~rips open package and dumps in the dunk tank~
Oh luk, the electified eels is causin’ the monkees tew mutate. Nao dey is teh giant size. Eels and mokkasins and munkees, oh mai. These trolls iz in fur uh excitin’ dunkin’.
Oh da carnage!! *grabs drinkee an sits to watch*
Wen ai was littlol, I wanted SeaMunkees so bad!! Da comix shows dem sittin on rocks an stuff wif crowns on der heads. But reely is not a kingdom of cute little creatures wif crowns. But fabulous prize nonetheless, agreed!!
noes! I know wut a c munkee is!
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it’s teh hoohoo!
Just tell meh this and I can figure it owt- duz this blong to a boi or a gurl?
nebber mind!
for sum reason I thot it was a gurl thing, but I sees I was rong.
Akshully, ai fink it can bii either, butt teh Funniest Home Video usually jes showcases the former.
*wispurrs* aifinks yu was rite da nawt sekkind time
GID, ai iz causin’ eet.
Yu in good form today, na66!!
for sayle: wun troll hoohoo, nebber used, onlee slytlee injured damaged.
EEK! troll hoohoo bee skaree!
Twig-n-berries?
Mt. McKinley?
Annuvver awsum fro kk4! U alreddee haz teh manatee prize sew wud u lyke the see munkees this tyme? *handz ober teh bowl uv
brine shrimpfabulus see munkees*Up nex iz hour las troll uv teh dai (sorree folks!)
Naow iz tyme fer the “Nawt” troll! U kno tehm cauz uv dere criez uv “Nawt funnie/Nawt a lolcat/Nawt original cauz ai saw itz awn site xyz!” Wii haz upped the fun kwoshunt bye adding sum venemus jelliefishez tew the tank!
Yesh, it sertenlee IZ a beeg tank, izznt it!
Mai turn!! Windsup, throws, and WHAP!!! Troll hits water, throwing jellifish up ebbriwheer! Luk owt below!!! Whee!! Dat wuz fun!
Awsum luvscatsva!!! Fer dunkin teh las troll uv teh dai u haf wun awl tree prizes, teh plastik Hawaiian lei, the see munkees an teh teeny tinee Hugh G stoofed manatee toi!! Enjoi!
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Fanks fer ur paytronige ebree wun, wii maid a ton uv munnies fer teh animilols an ai hoap u awl had funz!
Fanks bf473!! *takes fabulus sea munkees* Now I kin build a kingdom for dem!!
ooooh, teh purplol flour lei…puplol, mai faborite colour. ***putz awn lei
and does teh hulola***
U luk beyewtiful! Purplol iz UR culler!
*rayzes hand* oh, oh, aftur teh trolz are dunked, i wuld be happy to be taking
*
teh survivorstehm to my noo Wundermus Burfday Goodies Facktree an Trol Correkshun Fasilitee anchayn tehm to the wurkbencheshelp tehm warm up and dry off!!.
oh, an HAPPEE BURFDAY evreewun!!! *habbing too much fun at teh safari park to wurk today
*raises hand in air an waves it franticly* ooh ooh, I wanna sees it!!
oh, taht iz being a gud idea! wun day soon i shuld habbing a Grand Opening Toor ob teh WBGF&TCF!! *gets owt sparkly planner, starts planning*
Keep us posted birfday fairy!!
Flipping myself over is not an option. Now move the heater, human slave.
*KCT arrives in a lawng blue gown wif twinkly fings awl ober it making it luk like stars inna sky* *lubbly jools are dripping from her neck and wrists* O, GP, u luk absoloootly dapper todai! Ai lubs dis Safareh Park! It is so wondermus! *sees cyoot liddlol animlols and behbeh animlols* O, GP, ur so geeneeeyus! *holds behbeh panda lubingly* Heer is teh safest playce for awl owr animlol frens and behbehs. Ai feel a bit peckish, so mai noo behbeh fren and ai will goe eets sum BBQ and bamboo!
klik! FLASH klik! FLASH
o KCT, u luk luvvley! an sparklee!
Ooooo. Fankq, bluesfan473! Ai jus lubs tew dress up sumtiems! U luk niec urself! ai lubs teh Safereh Park and awl teh behbeh animlols! Wanna go gets sum BBQ and mehbe heer sum blues moosic? Dere’s gotta be jazz and bloos wif BBQ.
105 dagrees tu da right plz. mah bunz an harbls needz warmin.
Otay laydees adn gennullmens, iffn ai can has yur tenshuns plz? teh tour is abowt tu begin! Plz tu maek shore yu awl has yur seetbelts awn, yur Guinness Piggeh © FCHRG(wdoi) handy adn ai shall hand out ebberyfing else yu wheel knead as wii goes arownd… fankies!
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Nao, fur our nawt sekkund zibit wii is going tu sea teh Rodints… Umm, yu at teh bak – yesh, yu… iffn yu is hongree, yu can get sum noms affer teh tour… plz tu NAWT be nomming the Rodints!
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ooo lookit, dey is awake! Tihs is a berry BERRY rare site! Heer wii has teh mostest layzee Rodints ob awl:
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teh won nomming a hyooge slyce of Pork Py – is Guinness Piggeh; hii sleeps 18 hours a dai adn normellee noms teh rest ob teh thyme… * slow, sad hedshake * ooo lookit! Ober in teh bushes, lookit, sea teh littlol beret? tihs is lolpigburglar – hii is less layzee but hii lieks teh shinee fings… oh, adn lookit ober dere! Kwik put dese awn! * hands out Sandy Claws hats * Laydees adn gennullmens, ai gibbs yu Scrooge McPig – awl teh wai frum Scotchland! Lookit hao hii hates teh Sandy Claws Hats! Wow… uh-maze-ing!
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EEP! Kwik! Leggo of it! Oh nose… tu late… * slow, sad hedshake * Won ob teh partee got tu close tu Scrooge McPig adn hii dragged tehm intu teh bushes! Plz dun worree, hii wheel prolly juss destroy teh hat adn let dem go inna phew hours…
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Wowzers! Lookit, teh Mauses has come out to sea whut teh noyse is! Sea teh littlol brown won wib teh Seltzer Bottlol adn teh Zippo lighter? That is Maus… hii lieks tu burn fings… Oh adn lookit, teh otter won taht lukks teh sayme but wib an Ebil glint in hims bloo eyes – taht is Ebil Maus… hii is teh Ebil… adn hii lieks Ebil Ommlitts… odd littlol creeture…
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* teh cheezfrends taek lawts ob picshores *
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Nao, wii muss get awn dere is no thyme! Yu can come bak aneethyme adn meet awl teh otter Rodints… wii has tu moobe awn!
klik! FLASH klik! FLASH
Here, Janet, gimme ur camra and I’ll take one of u in front of teh rodent zibit.
Say “cheez” and… O Noes!
Ummmmmmm “O Noes????” Mai noo camera???
“Cheez” “Roe Dents” Me?????
*kk4 awestruk at magificent rodent xhibit* *pulls Santa hat tightly ober head* Dem is cute littlol rodents. Where we goin nextest???
but but but-
*points to skwirrls*
Mebbe da skwirrls has own speshul xhibit? Dat must be it!
*Klik Klik Klik (no FLASH cuz it’s sunni)*
Takes pikshurs ob awl dem cyoot skwirrls inna xhibit… ders awl kynds! Red an gray an purplol hedded wuns!
*Dis are teh skwirrls GP FORGOTTED tew menshur in teh rodint xhibit!*
*sits by Teasel to admire da bootyfull skwirrls*
Oooopsie! *taykes Maus owt uv teef and claws* *pats Maus awna hed* Ai thot teh rodints were noms d’oerve. *pats GP* doan worree GP, Ai woan eet ennyfing until AFTER teh toor.
Wy no noms dooring toor, wii kittehs get miteh hongree erlee.
Wy no noms dooring toor, GP? Kittehs get mitee hongree erlee!
*runz and hopz on bus*
Ooo.. Glad I made it!! I just lubz deh tour busses.
*Klik* I gotted a pixor uv deh Lolpigburglar!!
wow!! Yoo gotted heer just in taim! Ai dont know if ai’m Ok, becuz = lcb. . .
an KCTailkinker just about ate Maus. . .
But it seems to be going verree well so far!!
O, u is teh ok, Janet. It’s just that when u sed “cheez” to has ur picture took, all teh rodents nommed on ur outfit a little. Just a little. Um, u doesn’t feel a breez on ur backside? No? Ok, that’s teh good. But u might wanna wrap this hunnert dollar towel around ur waist anyways, just to keep warms. Mmm-hmmm. That’s it.
Oh!!
Thanks! Gud thing ai wuz waring teh floffee green nikers just in cayse! But teh towel iz MOAST becoming! An warm! 
*grabs pixor* Reely! Doan u fing dat it maykes hed luk bigger? *puts paws awl ober pixor* Can ai hab a copee, pls, pls, pls! Ai just wanna blow it up and mayke a dart bord…er uh…poster of Lolpigburglar! *gibs pixor bak to cweenmj*
OMCC! Owr famlee cat used to do dis! Teh warmur hur gotted, teh lawngur hur gotted!
Guies, I wuz ablol to get owt an run sum erranz at lunch. It felt GRATE to get owt an abowt agin!
* teh Tour Bus comes tu a halt owtsyde a large enclosure wib a fense awl arownd eet, lawts ob pools, littlol sheds adn in teh middul is whut yoosed tu be lolcatburglars belobed hawt tub *
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Ah, heer wii is – mai fayborit zibit! Nao, yu wheel awl knead won ob dese eech * hands out rolls ob duckee taype * Otay, is yu awl reddy nao? Plz tu maek shore yur Guinness Piggeh © FCHRG(wdoi) is tayped awn nyce adn tite! Tihs zibit has a stage Elebenty SPLORT warning…
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ooo lookit – sea ober dere? Won ob teh Safareh Park Eggsperts is feeding won ob our mostest speshul littlol animlols… nao, plz tu be berry quiet adn mebbeh hii wheel bring it ober fur yu tu has a closer lukk… ssshhh noa, dey is berry eesilee scared so yung…
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* teh eggspert brings ober an arm full ob bebbeh otters *
* teh cheezfrends “ooo” adn “ahh” *
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O…M…C…C… lookit teh hawt tub! Laydees adn Gennullmens, ai gibbs yu… HUGH… G… MANATEE!!!! * hugh taeks a bow * Wayt, hu is taht behynd yu Hugh?
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* Hugh holds up a bebbeh Manatee… sumware in teh bak teh duckee taype lets go adn dere is a Hyooge SPLORT… littlol halpers come out ob noware adn taek teh bictim awf tu teh recubbery ward… *
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WOW! Our nawt sekkund bebbeh Manatee!!! Hao eggsighting! but but but wii has no thyme tu wayste – wii must moobe awn tu teh neckst zibit! kwiklee kwiklee, plz tu get bak in teh Tour Bus!
*Waves both flippers*
Hello friends!
Shmoos for sale! Getcher Hugh Shmoo, for the benefit of the baby animals! Only 5 monies! Its for a great cause folks!
Ai wants eleventy schmoos!! *rummages fur eleventy munnees*
oh, ai wud lyke at leest wun! mebbe ai haz enuf munnies foar TWO!
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SCHMOO!
SCHMOO!
Heer!! Ai haz twenntee munnies! So – ai can haz Foar Hugh Schoos?
Awlmost mai nayme!! Janet CanHas4HughSchmoos!!
FTW Janet!
It’s Hugh!!!! Wif da sunlite sparklin in his pool!! *waves franticly from bus*
OH HI HUGH!!!
Babeh otterz?!?!?!!?! OMCC!!!! SKWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Hugh, why dint u tell us u was a preggerz manatee!!!??
Trust me when I say I was not a preggers manatee! I am a manly manatee! One of our beautiful lady manatees gave birth to this adorible baby!
*SHMOO SHMOO SHMOO SHMOO SHMOO*
*mutters to self* ‘darn it, why couldn’t I be this popular in high school’
Please remember to visit the Dunk-A-Troll booth being run by my friend bluesfan473 up the thread there. All proceeds benefit the baby animilols!
*wispurrs* High skool girls is stoopy, dats why!!
Was munees well spent!! *holds stuffed manatee her won from da troll dunking booth* Is wondermus day in cheezland tuday!!
Just in case I missed anyone….
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*SHMOO SHMOO SHMOO SHMOOOOOO*
*kk4 grabs anudder schmoo* *makes sizable donation*
*SHMOOOO* to hugh!
*makes sizable donation tew*
* hands out extry warm floofy cheezpeeps blankies adn glubbs * Otay, plz tu ware dese nao… is berry BERRY cowld ware wii is going! * teh bus speeds up adn goes intu a dark tunnel…
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…awl ob a sudden teh bus stawps neckst tu a frozen wunnerland *
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Welcum tu teh Wintur Zibit! Heer wii has awl yur fayborit cowld webber animlols! ooo lookit ober dere! A mummeh Pololar Bear wib hur tu kidlets… adn ober dere! A pear ob Snow Lepperds… WOW! eben teh Pengwins is heer! * teh cheezfrends taek lawts ob picshores *
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Nao, iffn yu lukk ober dere… * points ober dere * yu can sea teh seels swimmy arownd in dere tank… oh oh oh adn in taht laek ober dere wii has teh Dololphins adn eben an Orca Whale! Dun worree… is a HYOOGE laek!
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* Won ob teh cheezfrends jumps out ob teh Bus adn gets stuck tu teh icee rayling… littlol halpers pryze dem free adn taek dem awai wib a kwikness *
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Otay, otay, dere is no thyme tu wayste! Member, yu can come bak layter adn feed teh Seels! Wii must moobe awn tu teh neckst zibit! Dere is sooo mush steel tu sea!
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* teh bus speeds awf agen thru teh tunnel… ware eet wheel stawp neckst, nobuddy nose! *
Oh noes, we feeds dem later? *kk4 looks at mackeral in purse* Dis gonna gets stinky….hey, how come nobuddy sittin by meh?
*kk is suddenlee surrounded by kittehs*
*Ravenous kittehs*
*Seagulls divebomb kk4* HALP!!
ooh they’re talking!
lissen:
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“MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE”
“MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE”
“MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE” “MINE”
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u better run kk!!
RUUUUNNNNNN!!!!
Um … where iz Nemo?
wii hazzent finded him yit
*pullz Neon orinj noze plugz owtta purse adn puttingz dem on.
I’ll sitting neggzt tu u kk4!!
*bus hitz bump. noze plugz fly off.
On sekkund thot, I move bak heer.
Yu is reel trooper cweenmj!! Aifinks I shuld goes bak to troll dunking booth an throw dis fish atta troll…
Gud idea! Tehres a Two-Fer dunk goin awn up tehre rite naow! Aifinkso a fish wud wurk jus fyne!
Good idea, I went up da thread an got rid of dat dead fish!!
totally off-topik vent:
i am not being so hard up for frends on my facebuk payj taht i haz to frend my parents’ frends taht i haznt seen in 35 yeers sinse i wuz a liddle kid.
(culdnt fink ob anyplace else to put dis wher teh offending parties wuldnt see it an be offended.)
fank yoo. we now return yoo to yor regulolarly skedooled — hey wayt!! teh safari park opens today!! wheeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dey suddenly decided tu looks yu up?
no, my daddeh iz finding tehm for me. i’z 46, maeks me feel 13 agin. “daaaaad, i kan finding my own frends, plzknothx!!”
Oh noes!!!! Waddever yu sposed to talks about!! Poor lunarmommy!!!
ai cud bee yur frend! But. . .doo they hav to be verree yung???
no, tehy just haz to being sumwun i haz had contakt wif in teh last 35
yeerz.
I can be ur fren? If u rite to me at my name at gmail dot com I can gives u teh address I uses on FB.
Oh, and even tho my folks is not on teh FB, it is teh fun finding peeps I knoes even thru them and from long time ago. OTOH, I finded teh dottir of my former roommate and sended her a note and a fren request because I was there when she was borned. Rite there in teh same room while she was being borned, I means. I losed track of her mommeh a long time ago and so I hadn’t seed teh dottir since she was about 2 years old and now she is almost 19. I telled her she of course could ignore teh fren request but that I was teh glad to seehow she “turned out” and that she was teh beautiful young woman. She never replied. But that’s ok. I sed my o hai and leaved it at that.
me too me too lunarmommy!
LCB when u frends lunarmommy can u suggest me to hur?
an mee!!
Janet u is on FB?
Why is we not frended yet??
*powts*
Meee tew pls.
Mee free!!! *waves feelers wildly about*
oh, tahts a nice story. if teh frends approched me an sed, ohai, rbember me? my yoo are all growd up, taht wuld be okay. but my dad finking tehy shuld be my frenz becawz tehyr himz frenz, tahts diffrent. LCB, i will e-mayo yoo. yor name iz being lolcatburglar, right?
Yes that is teh correct. I doesnot use that name on FB, tho. Or that e-mails address.
i finkso i will klarify: i haz nuffin aginst old peeples. i haz nuffin aginst peeples i hazn’t seen in 35 yeerz sayin “ohai!! how are yoo? rebember me?” i even haz nuffin aginst my parints frenz. wut bovvers me iz my daddeh sugjesting i frend peeples i haznt seen or heerd anyfing ob since i wuz liddle kid. my adolssent ishoos, let me sho yoo them.
Lunarmommy, iffn u wants 2 habs me as ur fwend, ai leeves mai emayo on ur profile, k? We has onlee nown each uvver 4 a short thyme, but ai really laik u.
* teh bus screeches tu a stawp deep in teh main Safareh Park, teh tour gyde hands out automograff bukks adn pens wib googlee eyed kittehs awn tu ebberywon *
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Welcum, Welcum, Welcum tu teh “ICHC All Starts Exhibit” – plz tu has yur automograff bukks adn pens reddy!
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Hii maed yu a Cookie but he eeted eet – it’s teh “I maed yu a cookie cat”
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Is it a Cat? Is it a Monorail? There’s no need to choose! – Monorail Cat
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Dey are lokked in battlol tu teh end ob Thyme! – Is Basemint Cat & Ceeling Cat
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Does yu has his Bukkit? – Teh LOLRUS!
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She’s littlol, she’s sawft – Is Lil’ Soft Soft!
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He’s Happy… He’s a Professor – It’s Professor Happycat!
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Teh ER kneads him rite nao!!! – Dr. Tinycat tu teh ER STAT!
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* a sudden crashing noyse is herd followed bai lawts of scampering… teh Tour Bus is cubbered wib Red, Grey, Black adn eben Purplol Skwirrls… *
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AAAHHH SKWIRRLS!!! geddemoff geddemoff GEDDEMOFF!!!
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“NAWT ALL STARS??? NO ZIBIT OB OUR OWN???” teh skwirrls chant as dey drag won ob teh cheezfrends off teh bus…
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KWIK! Lettuce go!!! Dun worree cheezfrends, lookit teh littlol halpers arr dere chasing teh skwirrls awai!
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* teh bus dribes awai wib a kwikness *
Oh noes!! *holds on titely to safety bar in bus*
Ummm
Hooo. . .hoo wuzzit that gotted draged off teh bus?????
*luks around*
Hooo is nawt heer enemoar???
Mebbe they took Maus…..
We will miss him…..
He was trooly one of da grate ones.
Ai’m here ai fink.
~pats self~
Yup.
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Plz tew raise yor hand if yew awr nawt here.
Oh…yeah…right.
*glug glug glug* *passes bottlol, shares cough syrup wif na66* Is bedder now?
~takes uh slug ob cough syrup~
Hey this is gud stuff.
Luk, it makes the skwirrls phuny colors.
There’s uh red wun,
uh grey wun,
uh black wun
adn eben uh purplol wun.
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Wait…wut?
*Looks thru puffy cloud magic haze* Oooh, pretty cullers! I likes my reality bedder thru a haze, aifinkso!!
*rayzez paw* Ahm nawt heer …
AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIaaaaaaiiiiiiiii….
didjoo get a foto uv awl dat??
Nooooo! Ai dint git Lolrus’s ottograph yit!! Ai luff taht gui!
teh furee of a skwirrl scorned.. they has shown u it!!
*wanders in 2 surf airy park*
Wow dis be a butimus place and look at awl the YNG’s Wat be tehm doing hear?
*sidels up to nearest Yng and grins*
Mai eye have a Martooni pleasethnkx?
While waitin 4 teh martini 2 arrive I takez out mah camezra and start takin pictures. Not of teh baby animals but of teh YNG’s
When teh Martewni arrives I fank teh yng and wink at her.
Takin a sip of teh Martewni I begin 2 wander around teh park ,now snappin photos of teh baby animilols, and an occsional shot of a yng who happens 2 catch mah eye (especially teh redheads)
Oh NooO!!! Nawt yoo too, catslave!!!
Yoo just don’t know waht wee have bin throo heer!
*sigh*
Taim to get teh “Choppt Livah Grrrrls” together again!!
Who,Mii? waddid eye do?
* an ohai fense looms large adn teh bus screeches tu a stawp *
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Ah hah! Wii is heer… yu wheel eech knead won ob dese… * hands out “Big Bukk ob Big Kittehs * tu awl teh remaining Cheezfrends *
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Heer wii has teh Big Kitteh zibit… nao, ai nawt rly shore witch won is witch won so yu can lookit up in yur bukks dere, otay? Nao, tihs is a interactib zibit… yu can go in adn snorgle teh big kittehs awl yu like adn gib dem gushifuds tu iffn yu want but but but plz tu be teh careful, dose arr REEL poyntee ends!
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* teh cheezfrends awl run in adn snorgle teh hyooge kittehs czeching eech won off in dere bukks *
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* suddenlee, a loud “SKWEEEE… BANG!” is herd adn won ob teh cheezfrends SPLORTS neckst tu teh bebbeh Jagyooars *
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O deer… kwik cheezfrends, KWIKLEE! Plz tu get bak in teh bus wib a kwikness! Teh littlol halpers wheel taek care ob teh SPLORT bictim…
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Otay, plz tu hold awn tite! Wii is going unnergrownd fur our final BIG SURPRISE zibit!!!
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* teh bus disappears intu a dark tunnel… *
*awates BIG SURPRISE wif a anticipayshun*
Oooo…dark !!
Ooooo……scaree!!
Oooo..teh anticipashun!!
*Tikklez eeck.
*Giggols*
Hey..stawp dat !
izzat don’t…….stop
don’t…stop
don’t.stop
don’tstop
???
Mind owt uv teh gutter,Dan!
why? they know me there.
Is comfortable an familiar place, ai noes, ai nawt wanna leeve!
*eyes are big wif xcitement* Wunner wat is da big surprise? Are we der yet??
yez, aerwedereyet? aerwedereyet? aerwedereyet?
Are we der yet? I have to use bafroom an I wanna snack!! Are we der yet? Yu sed we was almost der an hour ago!!! Are we almost der yet?
Ar wii dere yet? Mahm, shees tuchin meh! Hez awn mai syde! Ar wii dere yet??
*kk4 puts finger juuuust near dividing line between seats* I nawt touchin yu!!!
Hawps on bus just be4 it goes into tunlol…
*maeks alitlol rume fur catslave*
*schooch*
i haz postifyed LCBz Safari Park song on deh Cryer.
http://www.cheeztowncryer.wordpress.com/
Fur sum reezun deh songz b not showing up heer.
Hugh??? Duz u needz halp wif dat song uv urz?? Ennywun else habbing songz not showing up heer kin sendign dem tu mii.
I sees da songs now up da thread cweenmj!
Thank you my dear cweenmj, I’d love to see my song posted, if you think its good enough! Can you see it up near the top of the thread now? If not, where should I send it?
It’s der Hugh….and is an awsome song!!! Mai paws sore from clappin so much!!
Yesh…much WIN fer u and LCB !!!
Thx, cween! It would mabye be a good idear to post teh songs over there anyways, so peeps can listen later wifout havening to hunt for them here.
they has showed up now!
all of them!!
OHAI, CWEEN!
I iz hear, but berry, berry layte!
Fanks 4 teh sawngs postees adn fore awl yore gud werk in cheezland!!!
* teh bus comes tu a stawp owtsyde teh entrunce tu a large cave *
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Ah, nao… * czechs dere arr steel sum cheezfrends awn teh bus * Iffn yu has maed eet tihs far yu is in fur a reel treet! Plz tu be teh extry careful at tihs zibit tho…
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* teh cheezfrends approach teh fense adn can hear a faint grumbling frum insyde teh cave *
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Laydees adn Gennullmens… fur our final zibit… ai gibbs yu… teh nebber seed before… extry rare… highly dayngeruss… lesser spotted…
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* teh cheezfrends awl leen in wib antisipay…
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…shun *
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WIERD PRETZEL!!!
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* a hyooge roar is herd frum inside teh cave adn a pile ob paper wib commints awn flies out *
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Wow, he is in a bad mood todai! – Wii capshored him wen hii wus nomming on 200 commints… yu can sea awl teh commints adn abatars wii has tu feed him strewn awl ober teh floor… Nao, wii is nawt kwite shore whut kynd ob creeture hii is, rly but but but hii shore is teh scaree!
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Aifinkso ai wheel wayt in teh bus… plz tu hurry tho… wii must get back tu teh main entrunce iffn wii is going tu sea ebberyfing in thyme!!! Hurree Hurree!!!
Kwik!!!!!!!!!!!
less git owtta heer!!!!!!!
*klingson to cweenmj*
Ai nebber thot it wud bee so BEEG! But – wif awl taht com mintz eeting -
*grabs cweenmj an Janet* Oh, WP is huge big monster jes like we thot! Ai has a scared now…*tremblols in fear*
itz like WP the Hutt!!
AAAHHHHHHH! Itz horriblol! Butt ai cahnt stawp luukin!!
Is like horrible accident!!
ai iz awl ver klemm fft naow!
** taykes a reem uv paper from office and feeds it to teh Werd Pretzel **
Guud finkin eeck!!
Well hey…nawt liek AI hadda pay for it!!
** throws annuder reem uv paper & sum rejected boxes at teh Werd Pretzel **
*snert*
*pullz a bunch ob linkies owt ob pokket an feeds tehm to teh monster*
Cheezez Twice — get bakkon teh bus!!!
Dats funneh nightshayde!! We always sez Cheez an Rice!!!
Oh, nose! I kame so layte 3 teh partee, but dat meen, meen, old, huge-atious werd-prexel beez eeting AWL my COMETS!!!
teh “comits skore” goes up, but my werds disk\apeer
* teh Tour Bus arribes bak at teh main gaytes, battered adn missing a phew passengers hu shoot down teh wadder slydes adn land in teh beeg pool in teh middlol of teh park *
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Otay Laydees adn Gennullmens – taht concloodes tihs porshun ob teh Tour! Ai hopes yu awl enjoyed eet, plz tu come bakk agen anee thyme! Nao, iffn wii is teh luckee adn ebberyfing is reddy adn teh webber is juss rite… mebbeh, juss mebbeh teh berry BERRY speshul tour gyde wheel taek yu up in teh Cayblol Cars adn show yu awl teh Beeg Seekret Zibit!
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In teh meenthyme, plz tu enjoi teh gaymes, soobeneer stands adn plz plz plz don’t encourage Mick!
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Fankies adn goodnite!
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* waives tu teh cheezfrends adn drives awai in teh battered bus *
O my! Wat a fun an fabuloos an egghausting dai!!! Fank u sew mush GP fer awl ur wurk, an amazeeng jawb!
Ahem, ai can has yur Tenshuns plz? Fankies.
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Aifinkso wii has borked teh thred… oops! Umm, adn wii has nawt eben had teh Caterpillolar Racing oar Cayblol Car rydes yet! Adn dere is loads ob cocomonuts tu smush…
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aifinkso mebbeh wii shud trai agen an otter dai!
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O yesh, adn ai hope yu has enjoyed yurselbes!
*schmoo & boop to GP*
ai cant belive I missed everything! stoopy werk!
Was awsome and full of WIN GP!!! Fanks for da most wondermus day ever in cheezland!!
That was teh FABYOOLUS, GP!
U can has a extry 10-minnit brake before you cleans all this up.
Smoos!
Sew mush funz at teh Safari Park!! Ah’ll hep u cleen up GP.
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Hay, wats taht ober dere?! *points an runz in opposyte direxshun*
Thred nawt borked…jus mite has moar dan 1 page nao!
Dis be one uv teh bestest dais EBER since ai haz been coming to cheezland.
Fank U,GP…oh,and,uh,u too,Mick…
*kitkay arribes free dayz layte*
*adda a fee-you moar komments*
*comment skore, now obber 400*
YEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
* Mick (dressed in new Black Leather Trousers that are much younger than he is, a Purple Silk Shirt with all the buttons undone, Cowboy Boots and a matching Cowby Hat at a Jaunty Angle) arrives and starts setting up his booth *
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HAALLOO CHEEZLAND!!! Is everybody happy??? Err, I mean Hungry???
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Gather round everyone and try one of my latest, greatest creations!!!
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* The cheezfrends gather round with a suspicion *
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WIERD PRETZELS! GET YOUR WIERD PRETZELS HERE! ONLY 2 MONIES EACH OR 3 FOR THE PRICE OF 2!!!
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Wierd Pretzels!!! We’ve got big ones, little ones, we’ve got ‘em with Ham, we’ve got ‘em with Spam, we’ve got ‘em as big as your hand!
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Wierd Pretzels!!! We’ve got round ones, square ones, we’ve got ‘em with Jam, we’ve got ‘em with Glam, we’ve even got ‘em shaped liked Pam!
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WIERD PRETZELS!!!! 2 monies each or 3 for the price of 2! All proceeds go to help these gorgeous little animals have a long and happy life!
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* holds up bebbeh wierd pretzel *
* slow, sad hedshake *
Ohhhhhh!!!
*reecyes out fur tey bebbeh wierd pretzel*
Hao CYOOT they ar! Lukkit thoze beeg ayez! an taht beeg mouf!
Mick!!!! *swoons* *grabs Weird Pretzel on the way to floor*
MICK!!!!
WARE r my unnerwares???
did yew dew the entire trip without unmentionalbles?
*whispers* I told you not to mention those.
wat haz bean mentioned cahnnot bee unmentioned, aidoanfinksew aneehoo
aneehoo or aneehoohoo????
*directs YNGs tew start cleaning up BBQ’s. stowes Maus’s seatbelt chare fur later use. starts lining up pak elefants fur the ride hoem*
Mick is lookin raver DAP – I kaint recall him lookin dapper.
cept praps fer the panny line inneruptin the smoothnesses of hims leather pantz. Are those Granny pannys or are those skwirlgurl pannys?
*snerk* At hims age I’m gessin Grannies!! Wait, are dose from mai Granny? Give dem bak!!
well, dat awl Depends….
ohai! Ams Ai tu layt fur mai berry own bebbeh otterz? Sumwun sed dere wuz bebbeh otterz….Ai lubs otterz! DO WANT wun fur mai vary own!
Dis is a wunnerful playz, sawree Ai mist teh toor erlier….but Ai hada stawp ebberware tu tayk piccies *clik* FLASHEE *clik* FLASHEE
oboi oboi oboi, dis is GRATE..
but wares dem otterz?
an iz ENNYBUDDEE gunna ebber halp dat pur liddlol kitteh up dere by teh heeter? In awl teh funz uv teh opening uv Surfaree Pawk, Aifinkso he gotted furgotted!
*tendirls turn teh kitteh*
{{{{{{{MaryOspockn}}}}}} {{{{{{{turtlol}}}}}}}
Ai saw yoo were heer – sumware – an luked throo teh hole thred to find yoo!
An heer yoo ar – maeking a prrrrrfekt finish to a very fine thred bai thinking ov teh kitteh!!
Thiz REELEE haz gibbed mee teh “warm fuzzeez” an nao ai am off to bed wif a big happee!!
Nite Nite an Schmooz to yoo bof!!
hai, ebberywon! I am sooo layte, bud ai b adding commets 2 bring skore obber 400!!!! ding, ding, ding!
Butt dat WP eeted awl my wierds!
(oh, nose I is playne now—gib mii bak my wierds!)
Hay! my commet poasted hear!
finely!
here, here!
haha! that’s sooo true!