Listen … Listen…
Listen … Listen… Dis toona iz callin’ my name!
teh toona awlso said dat we needz 2 git moar toona.
picture: soskuie. lol caption: esp1954
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dangit, were aer mai fumbs?
GMTA awmost Conga ratz awn top uf braid.
Haz teh martoonis in flavr uf choyse wif teh peetsa wif egg stra cheez.
ofankyew, ai haz tew goe teech tewnite, a martoonie wud bee wunnerful! mebben lemmon tho, ai iz nawt uh chok oh hall ik sew much.
Heerz a nys ruuf tyl… (wurkd fur meh)
Dolfin sayf. Butt ai iz nawt a dolfin.
Eeeeeeeeet meeeeeeeeee!
an mai naem is Nommer
Ai lubs teh new abatar, oldlurker!
Tanks yu bery mush. Neu yeer, neu abatar.
beeautimus abbatar
OMG CHEEZ
pfft. that’s not teh toona. it’s teh oshun!!
Ai wanna get eben cloaser
ai cahn heer teh oshun!
GMTA!
Yay!
Darn lak uf posabul fums
y, wii iz uv wun mynd… skeeree!
TOOOONNNNAAAA!
*Whispas* open meeeee
Careful kitteh, it’s a trap! It’s not teh toona calling u, it’s teh eer medicines throwing its voice!
Is there a cowboi in tehre?
Ai dunno — but aifink it needs moar cowbell.
Did U use beer fur baytes?
shux! I fink somebuddy drank all teh bait!
*luks around wif a suspishus*
yew weren’t around and da beer was goin bad!
ai had to save it!
wuld dis face lie
*cue how dri aye am in background*
sry, don’t have how dri, but I can get’cha the Possum singing I Like Beer.
not tuna? it’s a carp!
Ai fink iz a tarpon!
are you sayin’ eet bee a red herring?
Don’t get koi wif me!
hay, scale it bak a lil, kay gang?
it’ll cost ya a fin…
but all I has is a sand dollah!
Wud a doll-fin wurk?
What a silleh grouper this is.
*perches on teh sied and watches wif baited breffs*
Kitteh’s face luks familiar, but I just can’t plaice him.
Ai’m floundering, too.
perhaps if he sang salmon-chanted evening, you’ld name that stranger.
Aifink himz sings teh catfish bloos
duz kitteh haz to sing solo or could we has a coral vershun?
It duz teh soel gud to reed orl tehse kommintz.
if da kitteh sings wif sole, will he have groupers?
if dey go by a school…………dey just might.
Iz dere a porpoise to awl this?
ai’m shore there iz!
Butt wot is teh net benefit?
I depends on if we has to werk for scale.
Scale! Wai yoo yung whipper-snapper!
Hoo me? I iz a ray of sunshien!
clam up ebbryone i cant heer
yew hard of herring?
wuts yer poirpose in askin?
But weer habbin a wale ob a tym!
Mahi Mahi, yesh we are!
holy carp, tehse puns r very fishy!
oh cod, these puns are giving me a haddock!
Evenchewaleee, it will steel yur sole!
Holee makerel, ar u bein sardinik?
don’t be such a crab……………*ducks*
* lobsters a rok at shd *
but it wasn’t jist a rok, it wuz a rok lobster!!!
I’d rather has Rok Lobster! a la B-52’s
down… down….
rok…. rok…. rok…
lawbstuh!
Dew we awl hab matchun towels? Cuz if nawt dere will be lots ov trubblol, lotz ov bubblol
Afinkso yew got it bass-akwurds. **wundurs if she iz gonna git the hook fur dat**
Juss gotta tayk ur chanses – eever clam up or flownder aroun wiff teh rest ob us.
aifinkso weer startin tew flounder
Eel be awright.
Cod we possiblee bee moar prolific?
maybee u needz 2 b moar sPacific…
Kitteh’s name is HY TOP?
maybee hiz naim is ‘Chunk”
Chunk love Sloth
goonies ref FTW!
I didnot knoes that cans of toona came wif closed-captioning!
ohh
sooo cute *-*
Hairless monkey, come here quickly, feed me no
u NO wan meh tew feed u naow? maik up mai mind pleez;)
:feed me now
typo, I has it
kitteh never maykes mistakes. hairless monkees just have trubble understanding, aifinkso!
not evolved enuff to understand deh sooperior beengs
dis luks alot lyke my oranj (nawt poysin) tabbeh!
he be sayin ‘dis can is MINE’
‘ai marked it!’
**puts awn coat to go get more reefrechmints, dis iz gonna be a BIIIIIIGGGG drinkees and danses partee!
the can…………it whispers to meh………….wit longing.
the can… it whispers.. to teh can opener……
yeh, it whispers for me to go wake up meh can openerer.
.
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perhaps my likkin de eyelids
Oar, mebbe lyk dis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LTX4YHPnRY
Ai LUBS dis!!!!1111!1!1!
Ohai, Oldlurker!
How u doin in TN? Gots teh nastee wevver KY got?
Nope. It misted us in Nash Vegas. Ai got to see sum pretty flakez and lotz ob rain but dat’s all. (Thank CC)
ooh ai wuz just in lost wages, an ai gotz a bruddur in nash vegas!
I luvs ur abatart! Itz noo, isn’t it?
Almost kyoot enuf to cause a splort…
Tank yu. Ai “finded” it on da goooogle and chanjed it a bit. JK, wat partz of NV?
Ifink he libs neer ed warner park… neer u? NV iz a fun tawn!
U is teh can opener Dan…..
Teh can, it whispers to U!
And teh labul is rong.
There is wurms in tehre.
fine,,,,juuuust fine, I take wurms, and catch my OWN fishes.
I’ll cuk if u cleen!
Is a rool in mah house
I cuks hubkitteh cleans
Nawt tu uze teh stingy wurms. Wii hadded teh tuurist kidlet dat wunce finked teh bebeh rattlol snaeks wuz wurms. wuz gud bayt, himz wuz catchee awl teh bass. But teh bill foar teh anti venom wuz teh pleh.
ai luff luff luff u Hy Top brand chunk lite toona in wadder ♥ ♥
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O, an ur sorta okay tew, hooman
Mai kittehs heer toona too! Can’t say TOONA wifowt habbing dem awl ober meh. Mai Mahm and ai yoosed tew hab tew spell it so wii cud hab peece in ower tiem.
Dem will figgur dat aowt nawt lawng frum naow. Then U has tu find teh pleh wurd tu uze foar teh TOONA
How ‘bowt tee are oh ell ell?
Pikkin my teefs onna can.
that will hurt kitteh
Wen Josie marked stuff wif hur cheeks, wii called it pikkin hur teefs, cuz dats wut it luuked lyk.
NO KITTEHS WUZ HARMEDED!
cannoli likes to mark mai hand – ai haff to hold my fingers straight so he can rub against the nails. Maybee he’s pikkin his teeth!
Ohai rhsb ai leeved yew a messij on teh mad cao lol butt (sniker) yew mae nots haz reeded it. Ai is orlso kwitting teh ebil weed on sundae – yew wanna be mai intertoobs kwit buddie?
oh yay foar bof uv u!
aifinsko iz hard to smoke when u iz knitting, rite?
O yis, it shoar is. Wun ob teh reesins ai startid nitting iz so ai wud hab sumfing to does wib mai handies.
Ai haz to goes to Knit Werld at luntch tiem to bai sum stich holdurs – ai iz abaot to startz on teh split bit for teh veenek. ND tehn jist teh sleevies nd teh kolar nd teh maekink up to go!
Nd tehn bak to Knit Werld fore moar wool/yarrn nd annubber pattin.
yay!
Big yay. Buddy is fasc.. fass … vasc … rilly intristid in luking at teh needils movink. Teh yarn, not so mutch.
most knitters wiv kittehs chg to teh circular needles if teh kittehs r a liddul TOO intristid… no ends to wavye around!
.
mai kittehs hav their own liddul balls uv yarn an donut do anything wiv mai balls uv yarn!
Seh is pritty gud, seh jist staers at tehm wib a curiosniss nd innerest. Tehn seh goes to teh Pink Lollofant Reum (a.k.a Tessm and DH’s reum) fore a napp.
But I’m onlee kwittin smokin tabakko!
duz taht meen ur still gonna chew?
Aifinkso it meens hers not gibbing up Lucky.
L.S.M.F.T.??!??
*wispurrs* Huh??
Whut?
Yu ar too yung:
Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco
Frum dere ad manee yeers ago
It’s toasted!
Ai lieked teh camels… but ai nawt walk teh miel fur dem. Teh ciggy masheen wuz at teh laundomat at teh end ub teh block.
*snerk*
ur showing ur age…
oh wate….
Grrrrrrr.
U din’t get that did u.
Teh red face means I showed mine too…
No, hims just a bebbeh, Leeza!
U wont see me makin anymore age commints!
*hides behind DK*
my 42nd in on the horizon………..*sigh*
Liek ai sed, a bebbeh…
*goes bak on hur promiss*
o c’mon dan…
its mind over matter…
And u can has a carrot caek!
Wif only one candlol.
Coz teh year u r in, is teh only one that matters anyways.
42? u is jus a yung mahn dan, nawt tew wurrie.
Yah, a bebbeh!
well, I hasta go for now…
gotta get home and feed teh kittehs.
sry Dan.
Itz beddur to haz teh birfdaiz den to nawt haz teh birfdaiz, aifink.
Depenz awn ur purspecktib.
Nawt can haz a reetyred if U nawt has teh burfdais.
{{shd}} s’rite, yer a bebbeh! careful, or GP will be holdin yew up to meltify our harts and
extortifyget us to donate moneesorry all, I just try to ignore b-days. just another day and all that.
yesh……..
{{shd}} again. sumhow, birfdais and christmas aren’t the same when you are grown up.
oh noes! ai lubs mai burfdae! (’speshullee naow ai sharez it wiv cheezfren inna Nooziland!)
u just has to cownt them properrlee. foar example, this yeer will be nawt-sekkund anniversary uv mai 39th bday.
But Dan, u mite get bubblol wrap foar ur birfday!
Wii kno haw u lubs teh bubblol wrap.
given today was yet another installment in the dentists retirement plan, I could use the bubble wrap.
well, ai just started postifying, so ai hasnt had a cheezland birfdai yet.
Dan – Yikes. How u feline then? Wut did him do?
Gammacat – Wen ur birfday?
Dan, we want to know when your birthday is. Pleese?
september. aym a virgo
:snerk:
another filling, next visit is a crown and stuff (about $1,000 +/-)
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4.5, I ain’t tellin’. No offense, but I don’t tell nobody that doesn’t have a gun. I had to tell the Secret Service due to Bill Clinton speaking at work.
anee sekret service peeps in cheezland willin to spill?
I werk wif guies dat has guns. Duz dat cownt?
Ai noes orl teh werds to Caos wib Guns. Duzzit cownt?
**finks**
Ackshulee, wif teh akksess I has at werk, I cud find owt, but I’d nebber tell.
ya don’t have my full name, it’ll be a crap-shoot.
.
and I’m NOT teasing, or daring ya to try.
Don’t worry Dan.
k, so I guess I was teh can openur tonite.
.
moving on… dan, wot ur doing, ur dental stuffs, it may be hurtin ur wallet but itz teh best investmint u can make in urself. Teefs are important. Not just for chooin.. but bleeve me, a mouf that luks pleh is just about teh biggest turnoff there is. My gfs and I has discussed this more than once. Not sayin ur teef luk pleh, I has no way of knowin, just sayin u is teh wise for getting these fings done.
I nawt chew tobakko. Iz nastee.
I usta date gui in ohai skool dat uzed teh dip. I maded him brush hims teef befoar I wud kiss him.
Gibbin ub Lucky?!?!? Aw HAIL no! Poor Lucky better dubblol up awn hims vitamins ifn I’m kwittin smokin.
Dat wai U quittin den. Jus in tiyme fur lucky tu be bak frum vaca shun.
Akshulee, I kwitten den cuz I starts takin a noo med dat nite.
Nawt kin smoke an take teh noo med.
ew ew ew yuk!
erm…soree, taht wuz fer teh chewin tobacky, nawt few Lucky
In nooziland we korl teh tabakko teh ebil weed.
Ai wuddint noes wot ennyfink else be korled
I wuz teh jokin, kimkiwi.
Wii call ciggies “cancer sticks”.
Sure, wii kin be kwittin buddies. My last wuns be dis Sunday.
Hao much yoo smokin nao? I onlee do abowt 3 a day. Still nawt luukin foarwerd to kwittin.
Ai iz on 5-10 purr dae, dependink on wot sort of dae aiz havink (noe eggs kews rilly). Ai iz baiing egstree packits of nutts, raysins, helfy snakky tiep fings in preparayshun.
Ai iz lukking forewid to kiwttink cos haev bin doink it faaar tew long. Nd needz to git fit nd helfy.
Ai relized yew was teh joking abter ai postid mai kommint. Iz tew urlee fore me to be kwick-braynded (otay, iz neerly 1pm heer but we prutind it vairy urlee in mornink yis?)
Ai kin hab kwittin buddee tew? Ai wuz gonna mayke mai kwittin dai Feb roo airy 15! Aftur teh Baluntyne chokklit.
Yew shure kan, ph.
Hopefully Uz is not gonna start chewing it
rshb, ware yoo get ur nayme? Dere is playce in TX dat yooses dose initials. Curiosity. Ai habs it.
It camed from my ohai-skool frenz famlee. Dey usta cawl me dere “red-hedded step child”, meenin I wuz dere adopted dotter.
Yeers laytur, dere wuz joke inna famlee abowt teh parents nawt bein legalee marryed. Teh gurls sed, “Wii be bastidges!” (Yesh, dey yoozed dat egg-zack werd.)
I sed, “I must be teh red-heded-step bastidg”! Teh nayme stuk.
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.
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Ethur dat, oar it stands foar “red hawt secksee babe” (oar be-yotch).
Dat’s kool! Ai’d go wif red hawt secksee babe….niecer dan teh uvver. It’s abowt tiem to leev. *Yawns hoojly* ai gawt *yawns* a hole week befoar ai gibs up ICHC agin. *rolls eyes* 3rd tiem teh charm…..mehbe. *YAWWWWNNNSSS* Ai gedding sleepee. Ai gawta goes hoem nao….*yawns moar hoojly*…zzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzz rhsb, tayke meh hoem nao *sed weekly* zzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Ai wuz finkin red-hedded-suvern-bell, but didnt wanna ask.
Fanx fur teh whol storee.
Dat wud werk too, I gess.
Why u nawt wanna ask?
Ask me ennyfing u want. Ifn I nawt wanna tayle u, I nawt anser.
No reel reezun, ai gess – juss was finkin u bin postin lawnger den me an mebbe told teh storee befor an don wanna keep tellin it. Mai shyness, let me sho u it.
Awlso ai didnt fink mai gess wuz rite – u dont stryk me as teh “suvvern bell” typ (no offense dere, ob kors) – so ai didnt wanna luk silly. Mai embarisment, let me sho u it.
Fanks fur bein so open adn unnerstandin. U rok, Red!
Show me the way to go home
I’m tired and I want to go to bed
I had a little drink about an hour ago
and it went straight to my head
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.
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waits, givs up ICHC?
Ur Hoem iz dat wai. —–>
When U gitz tu teh NB taek teh left adn den taek teh right fork inna rode and elebenty moar steps frum there…if no buddee tooked teh fork, U is hoem.
Dribe me drunk
I’m hoam!
Name that toona!
I can name that toona in one nom.
.
I’ll name eet blue.
.
nom
ai cahn naim taht toona in 4 notez Johnny
shud be, NOM That Tuna, rite?
AND it must be “Best Choice” or beddur. Sigh. Dey lub’s teh stuffz. Dey nawt liek teh kitteh toona ownly peeple toona.
Mai kittehs nawt like da kitteh toona either, but dey luvs da peeple tunas!!
Dey must put awl da icky leftover tuna stuffs in da kitteh toona, aifinkso.
Aifinkso tew! O hai, kk4!
Oh hai KCT!! How yu is today?
Ai am gud tewdai! Ai am lukking forward to mai sir jury….agin. Ai mai just go awn mundanes and wen ai finely hab mai sir jury, just cawl mai boss and tell her. Getting dark owt dere nao and behbes eggspeck meh hoem soon. See ya!
Be safe out der!!!
Aifink yew iz teh rite. Teh kitteh toona smellz nastee — nawt liek teh pplz toona attall. Mah kittehz awlsew lieks teh pplz toona but nawt the kitteh toona.
Yu can tuna fish, but kin yu tuna piano?
REO!!! @@@@@@@@
*embarissed face* wat reo means?
REO Speedwagon, um. a band from the 70’s and 80’s
.
(I have two or three vinyls of thiers….somewhere)
*slaps forehead* Ai forgotted bout dat!!
Ai was more in Marx bros. mode der!!
if yer already married then you cantelope?
u ever haz honeymoon salad?
.
“lettuce alone”
*heddesk* and *faispaw* to both of us!
aifinsko REO album wuz akshullee, “u kan tune a piano butt (!) u can’t tuna fish”.
.
.
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duz this mayke mee a musical troll?
oops, mai aige, lemme sho it tew u!
Ai fout u wuz referencin teh REO Speedwagon album cawled ‘You Can Tune a Piano But You Can’t Tuna Fish’ *shock*
I up der wif you, Romeow!! I was finkin bout da Marx brudders and nawt maded da connekshun! My dead brain cells, let me show yu wats left of dem!!!
I will be SO glad wen teh Sooper Bole iz ober!
.
.
Den mebbe dat stoopy “We Will Rock You” Wal-Mart commershul will die.
anom
whut does U fink bout deh free credit report dot com commershulz
ai lyke teh pirate wun
U meens teh wun wif teh guis hoo credit is tanked and sing sawngs? Ai fink hee is cyoot. *pawface*
Aifink dere reelee klever. Ai lubs hao dere awl diffrint, adn hao ebreewun juss akts lyk its norml fur dem tu be singin away in weerd sichuashuns.
.
Teh resterant wun gabe me majur eerwurm (ai kud see it kummin at me lyk an atom bom…)
**wispurs** aifinkso tew!
EERWURM!!!
♫ Freeeeee credit report.commmmm ♫
uv corse, NUFFING is eber free
Iz free if yew go to the fedurul guvurment site, nawt free credit report dot cawm.
*kk4 luuks at hur credit report*
.
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**KLUNK**
yuppers
Free credit report – he iz innosint.
Freecreditreport.com commershuls?
Moast nawt bad but teh wun ware hims libbin inna basement makes me mad.
Meh too rhsb…wadda whiner, mebbe him should get bedder job, aifinks!!
Aifink dat wun iz funneh — an ai liek teh song. Ai liek teh pie-rat wun too. An teh used car wun. Teh rap wun ai nawt liek.
U gawt dat rite, babes! Ai nawt liek it eever!
rhsb, teh commint abuv wuz abowt teh “We Will Rock You” commercial. Ai HATES it!
I agreez it es stoopy!! NO more!
It wuddint bovver meh az much if dey awl wuz singin in teh same kee — but NO. *shudder*
Nite Nitey awl! *plops forward onna desk*
*puts pillol under KCT’s hed, and tucks blankee ’round sholders*
nite! sleep tite! don’t let the big scaree bed bugs bite…
Tehre is bugs??!!
*luks a rownd wib a skaried*
onlee foar kittehs to play wiv!
Hold me tessm, ai be skaried!
bleeve me, ai iz a chikken too when it comes to bugz!! we both depend on Buddy to sayve us!
I wants ta reskyue mah fud
from inside dis lil box
Considerate kitteh, only finkin of others.
now help me reskew mah fud, hairless monkee phlonqais!
Yea, stoopy hoomans jes sittin der takin pikshurs.
That’s when you know when you’re a glutton, you gluttonous kitty, you.
that is sooo cute!
Guies, I mite ackshulee be ablol to DRIBE MYSELF TO WERK tomorrow moarnin!
I has nawt dribed my car sinse Caturday moarnin.
I wuz gonna dribe dis moarnin, but dere wuz 5 cars stuk on teh hill. Mahm an I stayed hoam.
Alsew, I tuuk sum pikshurs of stuff arown heer an I may has dem awn my profyle as erlee as 2 morrow.
I hoap dey turn owt gud.
It wuz weird to be walkin arown inna yard. I wuz walkin ON teh snow, cuz dere iz a layur of ice awn tawp of it. Wunse in a whiel, I wud brake through an sink down, but nawt offen.
yesh. icee makes thinks weird. we had a cold snap in late januuary in bawstone, and all the trees were covered wif a thick layer of ice.
ai ment late April…
can’t brain, ai have the dumb!
I thot u libbed in CA?
I libbed near Boston foar a yeer. Teh wun Winter I wuz dere, it nawt bad, berry mild. I tolded my frenz dat I wuz gonna tayle eberywun bak hoam dat teh storees abowt wild Noo Ingerland winters wuz nawt troo!
It did gibs me a gud egg-skyoos to buy my Bean boots, tho.
Nite nite cheezpeeps! Fynullee leevun pleh wurk, kimkiwi and rhsb git bak tew me abowt teh kwittin buddeez!! ***frows cheezburgurs and toona lyke cunfetti, lyke ai frow teh crunchi fuds fur hour ferul kittehs**
‘Nite PH!
Ob course u kin be owr kwittin buddy! U kwittin Sunday also?
well, ai had set mai kwit date as Febrooairy 15, aftur ai eet teh baluntyne chokklit. Teh aftun eetun fing is mai downfall.
aftuR*
Yah, my fabrit wun is teh wun after lunch.
I jes finnished eetin a bole of chili an am reeeelee cravin it.
Ai unnerstand! Ai mayde a larj pawt ov shili lass Sundee, freezud haf ov it fur teh sewpurbol. Ai tawlk tew yew tamarraw bowt mebbeh ai joyne yew and kimkiwi awn Sundee? Ai haz tew git howme an gib myself a well-dezurbed beer! Ai hate stoopy yeer-ind tacks stuffs!
I’m ignorin Valentine’s Day dis yeer.
Nobodee lubs me….
**snif, snif**
*hands red a fresh hankee*
wun yeer a freind an I dressed in black for V-day.
no boyfreiends and luvey-duvey undergrads is de pleh
an yew knows we cheezpeeps lub yew
*whispurrs*
but ai know sometimes its not kwite what yew want!
{{rhsb}}
I tolded my best fren, “I lubs u but u nawt gots wut I’m needin!”
Yew haz Lucky, an ai assume yew has a showur massaaahhj? Wut moar cud a gurl need? **walks awf tew NB**
Oawlsew, teh trash pickup ser-bis. nite nite, lubs and hugz and kissuz!
A gud warm hug from a grate gui?
**Hollers: ENNY CHEEZMEN GONNA BE NEER KY FEB 14th!?!?**
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Silence..
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**sigh** Gess I has to go hit my werk-boifren up foar wun. Him gibs gud hugs but I’m nawt hims type, ifn u kno wut I meen…
Ai lubs yew! An aifinko yew shud by yurself sum balentine’s day chokklit, dat wai yew git wut yew lyke! No ‘creem filled.’ Datz wut ai dew. **syde note** Brach’s has a ‘awl caramul’ an a ‘awl nutz’ hartz, ai yews yew lee buy myself wun o eech.
Ackshulee, I mite can has divorse aroun dat tiem?
**grumblols of coarse at teh rate stbx is moovin, it mite be moar lyk KRISSMISS**
ders giant toonas falling from the skye! luk out!
oh de hugh manatee!
Manatee fawling frum teh skai?! Nawt Hugh izzit? Cawl teh coast gards!!
teeeheeheee1!!1!
diz bee sooooper lollly errrm funneee! i bee lolling berry laud
ello? dis is yoe mahmah speecking ie am iin de hospetahl 4 too dayz gooedbie
lol
yo mama
ate
a llama
sheez iz gunna beem a suna
missster wuuubels…….. miiissssssssterrr wubbbblleess
iz funny