I don’t have nightmares… I create them.
iz ok. i maek da nitemares go away.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: roltgunner
-
-
Copy & paste this:
Click to see All Kittehs | Captions Only | Videos Only
« Previous Dear Sir or Madam we are glad to tell you that , | Oh great… Next »
I don’t have nightmares…
» 166 comments
Leave a Reply
Popular Videos
-
Who be Talkin'
Cheezburger Company Blog
More I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?
Just Capshunz - All of the Internet. Captioned
Extreme Punishment
Animal Videos - Cute and Hilarious Animal Videos
Unconvincing Escaped Rhino Drill
Animal Gifs - Cute and Hilarious Animal Gifs
Seals In The Ice
Daily Squee - So cute your brain might explode.
Squee Spree: Rock Shyrax
Historic LOLs - Captioned Portraits of Yore
This Day in History: The French and Indian War ends
My Food Looks Funny - Funny Food Photos
Ramen Noodles are Immortal!
So Much Pun - Visual Puns and Jokes
I Will Possess Your Heart...
ROFLrazzi - Lol Celebs and All That's Fab Funny in Showbiz
"BMD"
Totally Looks Like - Stuff That Looks Like Other Stuff
Squirrel Sweater Model Totally Looks Like Kenneth Parcell from 30 Rock
Must Have Cute - See. Want. Must Have!
Valentine Bath Bombs
If Style Could Kill - OMG Style!
Artsy Heartsy
Pundit Kitchen - Lol News and Lol Politics Fun
Women's Work
Does u use Dreamweaver for that?
happy nawt sekkund, lcb!
u want drink n danse?
akshully i hav 2 goe nao, so sumwun elz maek him drink kthnxbai
Her. I finkso. Unless she is doing a Clever Disguize?
Dun worree rainbow_cupcakes, aifortso LCB wus a man wen ai nawt sekkund meeted hurr; nao ai nose bedder!
whut has been seen… canut be unseen…
.
How many times I has to tell u, GP? I is a lady, dammit!
*hedbats GP wif pinkies daintily extendified*
and waring teh pink mask, dat gives it aways too.
Today I is waring my purple sparly mask. Is teh vry glam.
Onliest thing is that glitter keeps getting in my eyes.
♫♪ Don’t let deh starz git in ur eyez,
♫♪ Don’t let deh moon bork ur hart….
Omaigunnes, mai cween. ai dint noze yu wur dat owld! o, maibe mama sing it wen , b4 yu wuz hatch?
oh u has to ware teh teeny tiney musskeeto netting wif teh glitter. Unless u gets teh non-migrating kind of glitter… thats teh kind on my glitter i-lashes.
Ohai guise. Ai has a bit of a sad todai. Iz mai dotter’s birfdai butt butt seh bees in an otter sitty. Iz teh nawt-sekkund thyme ai’s nawt wif her on hers birfdai.
oh noes!
sowry u has a sad.
{{{{{{DK}}}}}}
did u talk to dotter?
Is teh sad, yes, but rember that u were there on her very first birthday and that is teh one that counts!
*Pores DK a big drink to celemabrate birfdays and mommehs*
At leest she’s havving fun if she is playing wif otters.
{{{{{4.5kiteehs}}}}} I hope syou were able to tawlk wif her today, and r sillybrayitng in speerit.
Oh fankees guise. Ai wuz planning to call her at 3:55 (when she wuz bornded – in a nambulance – breech). (Yash, LCB, der were fyremens, butt ai wuz in no condishun to ‘presheates dem!)
Butt ai will call her now, aifinkso.
*sipsipglugglugglug* thxmoarplz?
*pours DK a big mango martoonie*
Mai dotter’s fabrit froot!
*sipsipgluuuuuuuuug*
happi birfdai, 4.5 dotter!!!!!
is her teh point five?
Lolz no! Ai usedta feed a owtsied kitteh, a big tuksee boi. Hims has a furebber hoem naow. Ai misses him doh!
At leest u wuz dere fur deh akshul burf day!!!
.
Iz deh sitty she b in Otterwa?? dat b deh onlyest otter sitty I b noeing uv.
we baikz hur a chonklit kaik in absenshuh.
* eyes OLU’s * Ah, yesh. Sry. Hao sillee ob me tu forget!
.
Umm… plz tu let go ob mai pinkies nao, dey is nawt ment tu extendifie taht wai!
*Puts on Geek Hat (with Propeller)*
Now that IS scary!
noes – thats just funneh!
**gibs Maus batterises to maek propllererer goes by itselvses!**
lol, lol! Roflmao..meow! Gud 1! danks fur da laf!
Yew want wun nao?
Yas plz, I haz no dreamsez evah
In your dreemz…
Aksully, dis kitteh luks like happy dream, nawt nitemare.
*nod* It does have purty eyes….*stares wif hypnomoitized expression*
Luks lyk my best-beloved kitteh, nd he dids hypnomatize peeps. He would gib sumwun a luk, nd then that purrson wuld confees thayr misdeeds to him. It wuz teh funny to watch.
haha that’s very interesting. Very useful kitteh if you asks me….
dat ib a verrah usful kitteh skill.
mah de-ceas-ed bes beluv-ed kitteh cub mezmer wid her eyz 2
My best beloved kitteh (waiting for me at the bridge) was mostly Siamese and his eyes were so violet you could hardly see the pupils. New peeps would meet him and stare at his eyes, asking if he was cross-eyed. He was my best buddy for 12 years and I was never sure myself! No weird confessions, though.
Its teh cute nose. Hard to be scarey wif teh lovely nose.
Feed me oar u get wun
Am I crazy or is that thing dang cute?
You’re crazy.
wii awl are a liddle (more or less) krazee heer
iz teh kyoot, AN de scary- leik teh sirens sweetle singin, ya noe.
*sniffle* I can has fluffy kitteh to scare away teh nightmares?
*hands zaffy21 a fluffy kittehn* heres yu go. yu no has to has teh nightmares. besides, teh horses ar onli skarry ifn tehy is nightstalions. mares are nawt too skarry.
*plays with the kitten* Fankies Whiskers! How are you doing today?
ai’s faine, fank yu. hawo is yu?
o Hai!
U can haz a whole itteh bitteh fluffy no nitemare kitteh comiteh!
i sends U…Okai!
ohai tookat! Fank you fur your generosity! I has a nonnightmare-happy now!
I hasn’t seen you around here, are you new?
those ayes be scaery… reely scaery!
How GLORIOUSLY Ebil!!!
Just like you, Ebil Maus.
Ohai EM! So nyce tu sea yu heer awn a weeeek weeeek weeeekend; hao is yur Nitemare Masheen coming awn?
Well… let’s find out…
*Slaps a metal cap with elebenty wires on GP’s head*
*Steps aside to reveal THE MACHINE*
This being our first try, I’ll use the lowest setting…
*Flips a large ebil-looking knife switch*
*BUZZPSPARKHISSZAPCRACKLEBUZZ*
So… How do you feel?
Hmm… well, yu seem less Ebil tahn yu deed… is taht posed tu happen?
Um… not really. Ah, well. Back to the drawing board, as they say…
Ai deed dreem abowt a purplol mask, OLU’s adn hedbats… * shudder *
Well… it was the lowest setting. I’ll go tinker for a bit and we’ll have another go later…
Ohai………. ai dun misst teh start ob teh OLU wutebber……….. plz tew splain!!
I bleev it’s Old Lady Unnerwares. Is just a fignewtonment of GP’s feverish imagination. I doesn’t rly wares them. I is not a old lady.
But I IS a lady, dammit!
Uh huh…
Dat’s rite – yoo wares teh flip-flops, rite?
brain bleeech, ai needs it!!
dental floss………ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
brain flossiz needed, maibee!
*wunderz how dat wud werk* hmmmmmm
Is everyone QUITE finished disparaging my unnerwares? Hmmm?
OTAY!!!! sheesh……… here’s koooopons fur sum nooo wons
-
www2.victoriassecret.com/collection/?cgname=OSSALDLSTHR&cgnbr=OSSALDLSTHR&rfnbr=2946
ohai piggeh!
is teh safari park gonna be reddy by Friday?
how much dammage was tehre to my booth?
Ohai! Dere yu is! Yesh yesh yesh aifinkso wii shud be otay fur Fridai, uh huh.
.
Yur boof is juss fyne, Mick has pikked up awl teh Ebil Cocomunts up adn dey is awl ware yu lefted dem before… is YU teh reddy? Does yu has yur costoom?
costoom?
why do I have to ware a costoom?
*thinks*
I can ware my piraty wench outfit?
ohai GP!! did teh trollz in teh trol cayje get trawmatazized by mick an teh rampajing rabid weezles? (fingers crossed hopefully)
*scampers ober tew her Mommeh*
This is teh kind of face I sees every morning when I wakes up.
If it duz not scare me, is I teh ebil 2?
Only if ebil is contagious…
not shure.
iz tehre a skratch test for that?
Oh hail yas!
Ah, but it is! It’s one of the most contagious things in the Universe. Just look around the real world today…
uh ohs…
wut about troll-slayin?
if I lieks it, duz that make me gud or ebil?
Yes…
o okays. I guess I is vaguely ebil then.
I will try to generally live up to teh standard u sets, for teh most part. At least some of teh time.
*covers eyes* But I don’t want to be infected!! Is it an airborne or visual contagion?
**wrapz wingz around zaffy21** Yew be awlrite, aifinkso yew kin nawt let teh ebil in if yew doughwanna.
Ai fink dis mus be Chuck Norris’kitteh.
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com
ohhhh mama R……. how on errf did yew find dis?????
Dis be mai favurit:
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
A bit lyke de olde Maykrosoafty laight bubbly joak: Haow mennis Maykrosofty develpshuners du u needs to chainge da laight bubblys? None – dey be setting durknesses as default
Ohai jamamakitty! Are yew stikkin yur tung owt? My momcat uzed tew say ‘sumwun’s gonna git that tung. beddur put it back in.” **tugz gintlee awn jamamakitty’s tung**
ouch ouch………… quitdat!!! akshully wuz jus laffin at teh mikkeysoft joke!!
ai haz bonding day wif nooo kitteh……… her will be wundrin wair ai iz tewmorrow wen ai goes twerk!
Ohai Jamamakitty
She r juss full ob win an Oh mai!! …*Splort*….
I peeked at teh Beeyutimuss Kitteh Bideo an picshures… I has a hooooge happitayl for yoo
.
I’m so glad you have her and she has you. Awwwwwwwwww..♥♥♥
ohai TM!!! we iz glad tew be tewgevver!! her defnitleeee is teh flooofy!! ai finks lots ob maine coon in her……… stumps fur legs wif fat feets!! LOL
Awwwwwwwwwww!!
SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! And i’m so glad yoo finded eechuvver.
Hazel has teh stumpy legs an fat floofy feets Heehee! I lubs to snorgul the feets
an teh floofy belleh.
yew mus keep dat lint roller handy?? is gunna be difrent dan mamakitty… wif mama ai wud get blak hair awl ober an now ai haz lots ob colors!!
den in may ….. my plan is tew get a somali kitten… den dey can has cumpneee
Skweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
I wud lub a biiig beastly boi kitteh, but aifinkso teh girlies an MrT.M wud hav werds to say abowt dat!
I’m so happitayl for you, havvin a seccund kitteh soon
Akshully, teh floofybutts don’t shed too much. Worst is wen I comb them,then we get a few big clumps. Fern is starting to lose her winter woolies already. \lots of Knots in her nikkurz an under her chin. I has to catch her wen she asleep to get tehm owt!!
fanks fur teh gud hints….. ai haz noticed teh floof clumps……..but nawt tew bad… like yew sed wen yew brush em…. you fink comb is beddar dan brush?
I use both, and two types ov comb. a wide tooth to untangle and a finetooth for fleacombing and removal ov dust.
They both qwite like a grooming as long as I is gentle.I have had to resort to scissors once or twice with Fern. But brush/comb regularly and it is no problem
heer comez burfday fairy to wish a big HAPPEE BURFDAY to all teh cheezfrenz, lolfrenz, noofrenz, lurkurfrenz, an eben trolz hoo haz tehms burfdays today!! an today iz being teh burfday ob Catamist an evethemulticatmom!!! if iz also yor burfday, speek up an let us kno!! (to being on teh burfday list, yoo needs a ICHC profile an yor burfdate on teh profile – dis iz being wher cweenmj and teh burfday fairy gather teh dates – an being a frend ob cweenmj an/or teh burfday fairy’s Sekrit Idenity. Hint: frend evereewun, an yoo’ll prolly get teh b.f.S.I. amung tehm. or yoo kan just telling us yor burfday at wun ob teh dayly burfday parties!!) today i haz bringed tasty fudjy hommaed burfday caeks, i skreem, frootsytootsy party punch, noyzemakers, an goodie bags wif yoyos taht wissle wen tehy yoyo, boblol-heded Pinny Gig dollz (lissensing feez go to teh Fund For teh Guiness Piggeh Sank Chew Wary for Orfling Bebbeh Otters Fund©®™), kandeez, an sparkly kitteh stikkers!! an a big swish ob teh burfday wand to make all yor wishes come troo!!
———-***¤¤¤¤жжжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжжж٭٭****
HAPPY BURFDAI Catamist and eve!!!
*takes a noyse maker and starts making LOTS of noyse*
**cuvurs earz wif wings and starts skawkin, helppin make noyse**
**loudly sings Happy Birfday off key tu makes more noyse**
**Startz playin steal drumz off key (an keepz skawkin) to make moar noyse**
*Dances off-key to teh loud
musicnoise***cat-chiz lolcatburglar jist in tyme before she fawls off the key**
Git bak up her awn the key and dans dans dans fur us!!! **wislols**
dat iz, get bak up HERE awn the key……… odotz….
d’onkey??
wif a liddol halp frum mai frens…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_BHs82Qhp0&feature=related
Iz dat fronsh?
aifinkso……….. extinds pinkaze….
en chant ayyyyyyyyyyyy!!
I helps mayking off-key birfday noizez in norgewegian:
Happy burfdays!
Hapee Burfdai to Catamist and evethemulticatmom!
**takes sum fudjy cak and i skreem, an wunderz if she can have an otter boblol-heded Pinny Gig Doll, cents she allredee haz wun frum wen bawt tikkit, butt kept that wun in teh pakij, in cayce itz wurth munniez sumdai (lyke Barbee dawls). **
Please die. and to all who speak lolspeak, a quick death.
Nonlol, yew nao owes us elebentee tymes elebentee munnies fur yewsin da troll rode. Funnee hao yew has tew sneek own heer inna middlol ub da nyte, and nawt da current LOL, in order tew beh rood, an yew has been axed tew plai nis before. Ai will be suggesting sy key atrick halp just up the troll rode. Richard kan halps yew get past yer angree and jellus ub owr funs, and mahbeh eben make yew a nis persun. He will only charj yew elebentee-twentee munnies, an yew noes whut? Dat kan onlee halps yer personality, kuz being meen tew peeps fur habing fun… dats just sad.
ai jest sawd in teh news papier dat sumwun wuz selling “gothic kittehs” in Pennsylvania – teh kittehs had “ear, neck, and tayl piercings”
wut iz rong wif sum peeps???!!!!
Ohai uniquekitty! Ai saw dat a wile ago, dey had pikkshurs ob the poor kittehs. Aifinko teh SPCA tuk reskewed teh kittehs. Sik Sik Sik peeps in teh reel whirled!
well, ai wuz a liddle layte reeding teh papers – ai had almost a week week week’s werth dat ai hadn’t had tyme tew reed…
ai iz glad mai paper didn’t hab teh picshures. but iz gud teh SPCA reskewed teh kittehs!
Aifinkso dat awl teh kittehs had teh piercings removed, an are up fur adoptshun. Speekun ov adopshun, ai haz a prowd! Mai dotter wurked wif nawt-third chance rescue grup dat had goggies fur adopshun an they were at the ‘Hotel for Dogs’movie wif goggies that needed homez, and got 10 possiblol homez fur goggiez! **lifts glass and toast 2nd Chance Rescue teem**
**comes bak in2 room, shibberin, an wrapped up in blankee**
Ohai, guies.
I wented bak to sleeps. It halped, I finkso. Nao I’m cold an thinkin abowt puttin awn hevvyur clothes.
Dis iz NAWT gud. Pleh.
OHai rhsb, are yew sik?
**puts wing tips jintlee on rhsb fourhed**
Ohai, PH.
Yesh, I finkso I gots teh stommick floo.
I’m jes nao ablol to eet sum salteen crakkers an drink wadder. Nawt-sekkund fing I has eeted since befoar 8:00 last nite.
I do NAWT wanna be sik! Dere’s too mutch werk to get dun foar me to miss enny moar.
***nawds*** Poor rhsb! Ai had sumfing lyk dat last week week week, kud nawt eet or eben drink eneefing fur abowt 24-elebenty ourz, den slowlee felt bedder. Iz teh pleh! Iz sumfing going arownd, mai dotter had it tew! **Puts cold rag on rhsb hed**
Jist tri tew relax and git beddur, wurk kin wayte! Ai nose how it iz, ai hab to do teh yeer-inned tacks stuff at wurk, an ai cannawt be teh sik. Butt (hehe) yur helf iz moast impoortunt! ***tukz blankee arownd rhsb**
Fanks, PH.
Mebbe teh crakkers an water will halp. I wuz drinkin ginger ale, but teh aciditee wuz bovverin me.
I finkso I gonna send Lucky to teh 2nd bedroom foar a whiel. I nawt wants him to catch dis frum me an be sik too.
Ai cud babeesit Lucky foar yew, if need bee. **Shaykz hed to git rid ov nawttee thoughts** Ai will lub him and hug him and skweez him and cawl him Lucky!! Or nawt.
Gee, u wud do dat
tofoar me?I NAWT FINKSO!
Lucky will stay inna 2nd bedroom – alone. U kin has ur choyse of enny of teh uthur YNG’s but Lucky iz mien, awl mien.
**bringz rhsb ginjur ayle wif shaybed iyce an no gin, wif a bindee straw** Sip dis slowly.
PH, u made me has a memree.
Yeers ago, wen then boifren wuz sik, I wented ober to see him an asked him ifn he needed ennyfin. Him sed him wanted sum 7-up (i finkso) an sum bendee-nek straws.
I wented to teh stoar an gotted him wut him asked foar.
Awn anuthur okkayshun, him wuz berry sik an I spended my birfday takin him to teh walk-in clinic. (Kinda lyk emergensee room but nawt kwite.) Him kud nawt dribe himself (too week) so dats wut I did.
Yew wuz teh gud gurlfren! Ai allwaiz haz teh bindee strawz fur when wee are teh sik, cuz wen ai wuz liddlol parrut mai gramma allwaiz had dem, but aifinkedso then she only had dem when I was sick! Nuffin wuz beddur den nawt haf to lifft yur hed to hab a liddlol sip! **memreez**
**sigh**
I wuz gud girlfren. I kud be agin.
….if gibben teh chanse…
**sighs wif a sad wistfulness**
I gotta go foar a liddlol bit.
Dere seems to be sumfin in my eye.
**Chay-sis rhsb** Yew git back here and lay down awn dis cowch an wadsh owld mobbies an put teh rag bak awn yur hed and cuddlol wif teh blankee! **locks door to the 2nd bedrum frum the owtside, hydes key**
Lucky iz sayfe, yew are sik, butt (hehe) still luvley and wunnerful!
NAO LAY BACK DOWN AND EET IYCE CHIPZ!
**hugz rhsb** Yew will git teh chanse. Lawtz of chanziz, aifinkso. Yew luk fur gud boyz an nawt wurree bowt yew bee-un gud girlfen! Yew bee rshb, that’s gud enuff!
Dew nawt bee sew gud dey eggspekt dat treemint awl teh tyme! Wen ai git rid of dis nawt-sekkun huzbin (hopefullee soon) I’m gonna nawt put up wif enneefing frum enneee boyz, eber! Dere will be no fawls eggpeck tayshuns awn eedur syde!
**luks arownd*** Osawree, did I say dat owt loud?
**dumpz owt ginjur ayle beecuz two mush acid**
I kno sumwun who kin gib a luuk similolar to dis!
It nawt ben yoozed awn ME (dat I am awear of), but I heer it kin be puty skeery.
Hi guys!! dis be waaaayy of towpic but bein 13 is wierdy is lik growing op but difent ia ceeps on tinkin z 13!! teenager OOOOOO! but dens i haz a petty fit bout somfin an i tinks 13 not so great anyways tanks 4 da birfday party! i had fun=)!!
fishykitty
Ohai gascat, 13 is great ayj, enjoy and dew nawt wurry bout teh petty fitz! Datz normul fur furteen! Lawnt az yew reelize deh is petty, yur ok!
Yesh furteen izza graet ayj-iffn yew duznt pay tenshun tew yer ayj nda onlee wurreee bowt skool. pleh skool. Wat teh poynt ob skool? cant wii awl juss reed teh dictionary nda lern 1+1=cheezburger?????????? Hmf!
Ryyyyyyt. Yew kin dew dat, if yew want tew hab no munnies. Iz teh verry unforshyew-nut truff dat edyewmacashun = munnies. Ai wish nao ai nosed dat at furteen.
Uh-oo
Dis kitteh is teh gurl wif cah lyda skope eyez!
I knowz a mawf problemo! 5×1=MUFFINZ
if yu in my nightmares why do you give me more lulz????
Beeuteefull eyes.
A Nightmare On Cat Street
1… 2… Kitteh’s coming for you…
tell Kittehroth whut iz most presous to u, so Kittehroth can haf plasur ov takin it awayz.
Teh furce be strong in tat won
i luv dis. kthxbai
Am I the only one here who knows who he’s quoting?
-Capn
Concentrate on my eyes……..I want cat food now! The gourmet variety, please.
OMG thats so much lik my goth friend!
i can jut picter er as a cat saying dat!!!!!!!!!
I beleebz u. Verree skurry kitteh!
i cr8 nitemears of ppls worst fears
Oh yes. What has been seen: Can not be unseen. I think I’ll make a lolcat pic now.
=3
SNAKE EYES!
Is not teh st00pid speek, is LOLspeak, git it rite! B-sides, if yew dun wanna reed comments no one makin ya… you too stoopy to type in LOLspeak, methinks… I be new to LOLspeak, butts it be easy to dew
Necrotroll, yew nao owes us elebentee munnies fur yewsin da troll rode. Funnee hao yew has tew sneek own heer inna middlol ub da nyte, and nawt da current LOL, in order tew beh rood. Ai will be suggesting sy key atrick halp just up the troll rode. Richard kan halps yew get past yer angree and jellus ub owr funs, and mahbeh eben make yew a nis persun. He will only charj yew elebentee-twentee munnies.
Ohai VampireK.
Welkum tew Cheezwhirld!
.
*extends floofy paw in solidarity against trolls and in frendship*
.
Hao yew iz?
I be gewd *shakes paw* I posted few timeses as lolcat n00b, butts I di- deced- choosed tew use me normal (me? normal? nah) forum name ^.^ And yew?
Pleezed tew meetcha! Wii awl was gnu wuns.
.
Ai beh the otay. Tryin tew kollex da troll rode munnes from trolls beh the pleh, bekuz deh just beh the rude and nawt halp the Cheezland ekonomee. *sy* Da nachur ub trolls, ai guess.
.
Dewin lots ub paperwerks (tax returns and skewlwerk)… udder dan dat, lyf is gud.
I be doin LOLspeak gewd, rite? I is norma-lee grammar freek
.
Dat beh the wun fing heer… wii spalls stuffs moast anee wai, and eet beh the otay, eben iffn it beh the hard tew reed.
.
Sowre reel lyf has kept meh frum bean heer tew meechyew befoar.
well if yew reed LOLspeek phe… phon… fenetic… hwo it soundses… yew can reed it easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy…
Pritty mush, which maeks meh laff at da tea are oh ell ell ess, sins day awlways kormplayn hao hard eet is tew beh reeding. Pfft… stoopee, an nawt wants tew has da funs.
I wood luff tew talk awl nite, butts… *yawn* I gotta wakey up fore works in 4 hours… so gewd nite…
Gud nyt! Pleezd tew meetcha!