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picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: DrTinycat
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press ’1′ for english press ’2′ for lolspeak
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: DrTinycat
Ai prest 2
we iz awl aloan? nawtbodee inna TTI foar teh drinkies adn dansies?
IT’s Caturdai! Iz awlwaiz kwiet at dis tiem – moast uv teh `Mericanz get up laet.
Ai haz tiem fur a kwikk cup uf cawfee b4 Ai go 2 teh shops.
ai joyn yuo, butt (ha!) mayk maiyn teh dee-caff. ai gotsta sleaping…
ai would press 2 alsouw (:
congratz ur fiii….nawt secund
Thx, Shado0w.
That is really cute and funny!
Mii 2. Uh, TU.
Wot duyu press fur “MARMSPEEK”???
adn trhrhee foar…
ohai deer annipuss — and combo grackle rations foar teh nawt sekkind tawp poast. shall wii dansidansi tou teh taebo teak?
gud moarning Annipus and Calicocoa hears hoping t3eh wedder is a bit woormer where ewe iz today
iz 32 F here in Orygun, EweEssHay.
Iz `bowt 37 in Lundun an brite an sunny, but windy, so feelz cawlder. Yestidai it wuz berry wet. Pleh!
gud maorning, catslave!! Duz u b up early? oar still up late?
GMTA cween!
Indeed!!!
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Inkwiring mindz wanting tu noe!!
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I b up eerly fur no partikular reesun.
it b kwarter after 5 am heer….. still dark adn 59*F.
Is 6:35 am here, and 16ºF. And windy.
8:14 am heer, mynus 16 F, wif windchylls down tew minus 40 F heer. Pleh.
You haz reminded me ov wh I do not iss Manysnowta
Eef nawt fur mah boifren, ai nawt sure ai lib in Minnesnowta, eeder…
ohai catslave! ai’z in yoar tymezoane, so iz teh beddytyme. heer in cali, norf a sf, iz ‘bowt 45. raynee weakened, butt (ooh!) wii nead it…
Ia awlsew veddy earlii in teh moaning here just about 1/4 past free
11.15 am heer – are u up laet oar erlee?
laeeeet. adn ai haz a 9 ayem fone kawl…
nyti nyte. come hav sum nais hawt coco adn rumm wif mii, o hardee cheezpeeps!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Nachur cawld me and I had 2 answer sew I ham going bak 2 bed!
Ohai CweenMJ ( bows to her highness) ewe haz a gud dai!
Teh bed, It cawls mii!!1!!
Bi!
g’nite!
*waves tu departing bak uv catslave…
I think dis kitty fell asleep lissning tu deh boring hold musikz.
Ai can’t do dat – ebbry 30 sekunds, dey tell me dat mai cawl iz importunt an tell me to hawld. AN IT COSTS ME MUNNEE!!!
*recordid voyce* “Yur cawl will b ignord in teh ordur in wich it wuz reseeved…”
*streeeetttcccccchhhhh, yaaawwwwnnn* Ohai, gud mawrning, Cheezpeeps.
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Dis kitteh lukz liek a sleepy kustomr serbis purrrrrson.
Moarning Karen!! iz dat deh voyse uv spearee~enss i heerz tawking??
Moarnin’ mai leej. Deafinatlee – lawts ob spearee-enss.
Mai deer DottirInLaw b kustomer service fone peep fur a major satelitte TV kumpany. Shii awlwayz haz storeez tu tell uv deh stoopee kustomerz.
Halo, mai naem b Mittins, kan ai halp u?
Limmrik Taim! Limmrik Taim!!!
Tehre oance waz a kitteh naymd Mittens
Who dialld teh VET ‘bowt hur kittenz.
(yor trun nao…)
Seh wus put on teh hold
so seh gotz berry bold…
teh vet was reel nice
and gabe tehm some mice
and charged tem ownly a pittenz
aww cs, dat’z wunnermuss!
adn startud teh hissin’s adn spittin’s.
sumbudee wannta starrt teh nex limrik???
2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, TU TU TU TU TU TU!!!! Whut is tihs “Ingerleesh” yu speek ob, aneewai?
oh oh oh ai nose! eet’s taht stoopy langwidge teh stoopy Tee-Arr-Ohh-Ell-Ells alwais yoose wen dey is bean teh horriblol, yesh?
*Snorglolz deh Guinness Piggeh.
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I hope u b habbing a gud weeeeeeeek end, GP!
*snorgle snorgle* Ohai mai leeje! Yesh fankies. Ai has juss resuntlee dragged maiself out ob bed adn aifinkso ai mite go cycloling in teh hayzee sunshyne
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Hao yu is todai?
I not ben awake long enuff tu make up mai mind on how i iz.
*goez tu git annuzzer cuppa Rushun Tea.
*picshore cween chasing Rushin Tea arownd teh RB*
Dis b deh Rushin Tea.
http://www.allrecipes.com/Recipe/Instant-Russian-Tea/Detail.aspx
I likes it.
mmmMMMmmm taht lukks deelishus adn nootrishus!
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*sips awn a rushin tee* Chokklit GP fur yu? Dey has cocomonut awn…
gud morning, cheezpeeps!
GP, ebberytime I heer songs by a certain rock band come on teh radio, I see a pinny gig wif big red wax lips nd a leather … garment … on its hinder quarters strutting to teh moosik. Whut haz Mick dun to mai brayne!!!!
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*lukks askance at booklion* Yu does no Mick is nawt a Guinness Pig, yesh? Hii is umm… err… a Hoomin ob sum sort, aifinkso. Yesh.
Gah! My braynes is moar skrambled tahn I thot!
*Goes to get moar cawfee*
*Wonders whut iz the ralayshunship between GP and Mick, but olitely duz nawt ask.*
Otay mai littlol cheezfrends, plz tu gadder rownd adn ai shall tell yu awl abowt hao stoopy Mick ended up heer in Cheezland… *narrrows eyes at stoopy Mick*
.
Eet wus a Dark adn Stormee Nite… awl across cheezland teh littlol Rodints were going abowt dere Phlonquaisesque doodies, getting hedbats, leffober crunklifuds (nebbber nyce fresh gushifuds) adn genrully bean unnervalyooed adn unnerpayd…
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Den, tihs won thyme, at band camp… err, ai meen, in Cheezland, lawts ob cyoot littlol furreh rodints started tu go missing… nebber tu bii seed ebber agen! Awl ob a sudden teh hongree kittehs wer chasing teh poor littlol rodints awl ober teh plaice! O teh Hyooge Manatee! adn dere wus mush trembling…
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Den teh in-fiting startyfied… aifinkso eet wus skwirrlgrrl hu picked awn GP abowt hao mush Pork Py hii noms adn den GP bit hurr awn teh tayl adn teh storee goes awn… lawts ob fiting, LAWTS ob narrowing ob eyes, lawts ob lolcatburglar brand anti-wrinklol creem wus yoosed… oh, yesh adn den dere wus teh hole beeg fite between GP adn Maus (dey wus fiting wib cooked pasta) adn awl teh hongree kittehs wus lukking awn… wib a hongree!
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Awl ob a sudden, summedy… aifinkso mebbeh eet wus West River Rat oar mebbeh skwirrlgrrl sed “Wii shud nawt fite eech otter! Wii shud halp eech otter tu nawt get nommed by teh hongree kittehs!” So taht is whut wii deed! Wiifortso teh best wai tu stawp teh madness adn rayse awarenuss ob teh plight ib teh littlol furrehs wus to has a “Plz tu NAWT be nomming teh Rodints” Beneefit Consert! O yesh yesh yesh!
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Adn so eet wus, wii hyred out teh JanetCanHas4Kittehs Ampitheatre adn signed lawts ob bands tu plai a hyooge myooseek consert! Ob corse, no consert is compleet wibowt Mick “teh Lips” Jaggeh so wii juss HAD tu has him purrform! Happilee hii wus steel hanging arownd LCB’s manshun frum wen wii had teh beeg Fashun Show wib awl teh lebretee guests – aifinkso hii juss kinda stuck arownd cos LCB kept feeding him adn gibbing him meds *shrugs*
.
So yesh, Mick cayme awn stayge adn sang a sawng… NAWT teh won wii had greed awn, tho so hii gawt dragged awf stayge bai angree lukking wolbes! [Ai miss Din Fleetpaw adn his wolfee frends... aneewon no ware hi wented tu?]
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Well, taht is eet, taht is teh storee ob hao Mick ended up heer in Cheezland… sumhao, hii has juss stuck arownd ebber since adn nao hii libes wib lolcatburglar in hur ‘Mansion’ adn can mostlee bii fownd tormenting yur belobed Guinness Piggeh… oh, adn aifinkso ai herd sumfing about Mick adn LCB getting teh married won dai suun… *shrugs* aifinkso dey is mayde fur eech otter!
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Noa, iffn yu sea Mick arownd… plz tu NAWT get him wet, feed him affer Midnite oar ask him tu sing yu a sawng!
:snerk: at deh “Hoomin ob sum sort”
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*wunderz just wut sort uv hoomin Mick iz.
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.
.
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What are you laughing at??? I AM! *MEGApout*
*narrows eyes*
R yu sure yu aren’t a pinny gig wif delushuns of granderousity?
Bah! You think I’m one of those horrible little rat things that squeaks all the time, eats far too much and sleeps for 18 hours a day???
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Dude, I’m a Rock Star! I can prove it too! You wanna hear a song???
*directs angree lukking wolbes*
stoopy Mick…
*Mick gets dragged awai*
.
Sry, Mick has tu go nao… Hii has lawts moar cleening up tu du at teh Safareh Park!
Cleening work fur a rock star?
I guesh he cants get no satisfakshun….
Oh yesh yesh yesh! Hii has lawts tu du… dose Rabid Weesuls maed a reel mess ob teh Safareh Park, yu nose!
.
Adn no, ai chekked adn wii is awl out ob Satisfakshun. Mebbeh ai can offer yu a bottlol ob disappointmint?
Or mebbe a boddul uv “slightly appeased” ?
aifinkso ai mite has a tub ob “meh” in teh bak…
Ai’ll tayke that,along with a “whatever” chaser…
Otay… wii is habbing a sayle awn teh “nyce warm feeling yu get frum doing sumfing nyce” creem – 3 fur teh pryce ob tu…?
Him myte dew beddur ifn hims name was Jack…
.
Jumping Jack Flash,
its a gas, gas, gas!
Ooooo…ai culd uze anyfing “warm” here in 12 degree Meeshigun….Gimme a case!
And cawffe wif a liddlol brown sugar –
mai it taste so gud!
Yawn … shuffles in wif bafroab an bare feetz … scratchs belly … plops down in desk chare and puts kawfy mug on maus pad (leevs a ring) … moves mug to an enveloap wif an unpayd bill … rubs aiz … notisis several cheezpeeps are up an abowt (makes shir bafroab is closed). Ohai! How you all are?
Oh hai dere judson! iz u snowed in up dere in kernettikut??
*crikkitz chirping………
Sawy Muh Cween! I wus attending to muh Mornink ablushuns. Noaw I yam all presentaboblol (axually I alweays luk lak an unmaded bed but this is as good as I gets).
As fer the snow, it’s still here but nawt as much, we has a liddle thaw going on and therer onli abowt 3 or 4 inches still onna ground, still pretty gud skiink tho.
Ai choz teh lolspeak anways!I alwys choz lolspeak!
Hmmmm… I don’t smell no Phish?
wat da heck? fishy? WERE MEH FISHY I WANT FISHY NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!
Calling home on Meowthers Day
**rhsb shufflols in, warin same clothes hur had awn yesterday, hare is messy an hangin down in hur fayse, hur iz warin sunglasses an carryin a almoast-empty bottlol of ginger ale**
**YAWN**
Ohai, cheezypeeps.
Moarning Red, lukking gud! *snerk*
Partee a liddul hardee las nite ??
**holds hed**
Ohai, GP an Eeck.
Why izzit so LOUD in heer dis moarnin?
Wow…u IZ hungover…
I cannawt hear nuthin…well,except for Nala purrin next to me !!
Sry, wii has had tu installate gnu cayblols fur teh cayblol car rydes… mebbeh yu shud ware sum eer muffs oar sumfing?
I finkso mebbe I need to go take a nap inna sowndproof room inna NB.
*walks in carrin wagon uv pilows*
*picks oop rhsb wif one hand, and empis wagon wif other*
*lays rhsb down an putsa blanki ober hur*
dat halp? naow yu can talk and uhh, (not hav teh risk ub fallin ober)
an i gotsa eermuffs WDOI
Fanks, Sairys.
Dese pillows will work mutch bedderer tahn teh giant roll of bubblol wrap I wuz gonna uze foar pillow.
**snugglols into blanket**
Didja hav fun las nite ??
And teh kittehs say “Ohai,Auntie!”
Yesh, I did. I finkso wii bofe needed to get togedder an ack sillee. Few peplol kin make me laff has hard as she can.
Wii eeted at a place known to lokals as Teh Mexikan Monkee (used to be a bar called Teh Monkee’s Unklol but iz nao mexikan restaurant) an den wented shoppin at Goody’s (cuz dey goin outta biznezz). I wuz nawt gonna buy ennyfing but ended up gettin 3 t-shirts (from teh mens seckshun). Dey iz rock-an-roll t-shirts, foar witch I has weekness – Def Leppard, The Who and Queen.
Wii went bak to hur howse an watched moovie. I ended up crashin awn hur cowch an drove hoam dis moarnin.
Gud fer u !!!
U needed sum fun,ai finkso.
Stepson & ex-hubby are takin me to a movie & dinner todai in honor uv mai birfday….sistercat & BIL are meeting us fer teh dinner & den we mite go to an ice-carving festibal.Deepends awn teh temps for dat last item,tho.
(If it’s too cold,we’ll jus end up in a nearby bar!)
Sownz lyk u iz gonna has grate day. Teh ice-carving festibal sownz lyk it wud be neet.
I nawt gonna do mutch today. Prolly take shower, get into fresh clothes an hang aroun teh howse. Mebbe to laundry.
I need to do my chekbuuk but nawt whiel my hed hurtin. I had my hares pulled bak but had to take it down cuz it hurted too mutch.
**reaches foar Nikita, to give hur snorgles**
**Nikita gibs snorgles & hedbonks back**
Ai sat down & did mai taxes last nite….am berry prowd uv maiself!
Uv corse,ai did nawt has a hedake!
Has to get ready soon to go to post office and mail dem….ai iz gettin back sum gud monies dis yeer!
Oooo, I has a happee foar u.
I gotted my W-2 inna mayle teh uthur day. Wuz
dat it camed so erlee.
I gotta do my taxes soon, so I kin fill owt skool papurwurk. Mebbe ifn I proov hao borked I am dey gibs me munnies to go bak an get my degree. Skool loans? DO NAWT WANT.
Gud fer you abowt skool….ai wuld has to be dragged kickin & screemin back to a classroom!
U nebber knows….dere may be sum gud financial aids owt dere for u.
Ai has to get in teh shower now….we is goin to a matinee for teh mobie.
TTFN !
**waves**
Bye! Has teh fun!
Happee Erlee Birfday!
>TTYL eeck, enjoy yur family time
<
ets yur birfday eeck? well Happy Birfday!!!
*runs intu kitchen*
.
.
.
. *pokes hed round corner*
gimme a few min
No….birfday iz Mundane the 26th.
Iz a tradishun for uz to get together teh weekund closest to mai birday.
(telepathically communicaters frum smikin kitchen)
>i kno, i chekked, i jus wanna get a hed start on ur cake,
cuz i usually am nawt heer for peeps birfdays…. so meez not wanna miss yurs<
whoo-hoo! yu rock den rhsb, Def Leppard, Queen, man you know haw tu pick dem :d
oops, i ment
Fanks, Sairys.
**whispurrs** I nawt shure u kno dis oar nawt, but I’m ackshully a girlie.
i kno, just, i say ‘man’, or ‘dude’, or anyting like dat tu eberybody
srry if meez of… ofer… makes yu mad
U nawt makes me mad. I jes wantid to klarify. Alot of peeplols make dat mistake wif me, cuz iz hard to figger owt by my nayme.
{{{sairys}}}
I has kwite teh t-shirt kolleckshun.
Alot of my oldur wuns iz packed up, cuz I’m plannin to has kwilt made owt of dem.
ooooo, a quilt? dat iz gonna beez quite de quilt
yu know… speekin uv bubblol wrap… my kitteh, Mugsey, was layin on et. den i started pettin him rite behind teh eers wher he likes it. he flexd his clawz on teh bubblol wrap an wen it popped, i sware dere wuz an after imag uv him on teh bubblol wrap, cuz he gots owt uv dere so fast, :laugh:
Yesh…teh amazing dissapeering kitteh trick !
I wuz sittin at stoplite yesterday an popped a few of dem.
I had to make myself kwit oar I wudda had a giant roll of popped-bubblolz!
*looks askans at rhsb*
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An wut wud beh rong wif a giant roll ub popped-bubblolz?
.
*pulls door tew spare bedrum shut wif a kwickness*
Ohai, BDM.
Wut rong? Wayle, I got teh roll cuz I iz mailin sumfin. Nawt wanna send popped-bubblolz!
Nao, wut nawt fit in bocks iz MIEN!
bubblol partee?
Sownz lyk eet!
.
\ /
> ._. < (issa popped bubblol!)
tee hee cheezypeeps!
is a web sit
*babeh kittun waeks up an sees dat her Mommeh (lunarmommy) an her Daddeh (Draconic kitteh) were nawt heer! she start tew crai, eben do she know dat dere are ober cheezpeep Mommehs an Daddehs heer*
U no cry,bebbeh…..we gibs u luv!
*snugglols close tew Eeck, snifful, tiny wings folded*
**gentlly hedbonks teh Taya bebbeh**
*purrs gentloly*
Drakonic Kitteh is a daddee? :shcok: Ai beh habben a tawk wid dat boi sewn az ai seez him!
that was supposed to be
.
haz an
him ‘dopted meh
Oh.
.
Well.
.
That’s ok then.
.
*looks a liddlol sheepish*
Funneh…ai thot u lukked a liddul llama-ish to me…
Ai rezemblol dat remark!
*givs BDM a sheepish blan… wooly blankkit*
Fangs!
.
*snorggles under wool blankee, purrin*
*schnorgles wiv BDM, Eeck an Sairys, lettin owt a tiny purr*
HOW MAKE DA FACES? I WANT THE FACES!!! 0.0 Did dat work dude?
Ohai Melissa, dere’s halp on teh Cheeztowncryer, unner “Helperz and Majik Triks”
cheeztowncryer.wordpress.com
alsew, Melissa, if u has a kwestion, it’z prolly better to ask it in the thred where peeple r still talking, insted of one that’s 2 days old… depending on hoo’s around, u mite not have bin notised.
i know i dont know dat dere is smiley i want smiley SMILEY MINE! MOVE SMILEY MOVE!!!!
FACE HOW MAKE MOVING FACE?!
HOW MAKE FACE BUDDYDITZMORESMOM?!
Hey! kwit yelling! its not nise.
Welkum tu Cheezland, Melissa!! I take it u b a noo Melissa adn not deh wun hoo haz ben heer fur a long time.
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Dis b a most wundermus plais tu playing!! Deh fudz haz no kalreez and deh drinkez haz no alkeehawl!! Adn ebbreewun kin sing and danz beeyootimouslee!! Adn u kin dew eennneeefing u kin imagining!!
.
I haz helperz fur deh nu and not sew nu peepz at mai Cheez Town Cryer blog under deh hedding Helperz adn Stuffz. Inkluding how tu making deh smilee facez.
http://www.cheeztowncryer.wordpress.com
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Cum wif mii tu deh ty booteek adn wee will get u a welkuming prezzee. Mai pal Gibbocat runz deh booteek adn it b stawkt wif deh most dee liteful fingz. Dere b deh silkee tyz wif kittehz on dem uv korse, fur deh peepz hoo haz tyz fur deh furstest commint. And dere b silk kitteh skarvz, adn bobblol hedded kittehz and kitteh faised lawleepopz, and Cheezland sno-globez, and Cheezpeepz Map blankeez, adn kitteh joolreez, adn kitthe windchimez, adn kitteh wevvervanez, and ….. deh mind just bogglolz at awll deh fingz in heer.
**handz Melissa a CHRG wif dansing kangarooz on it
**tu help kuntrol deh Splortz**
.
*Handz Melissa a hot mug o koko wif wippee kreme adn chokklit sprinklolz on it*
Cheez!!
YAHYS oops sorry *wispers* yahys!
dude it has no smileys wat up wit dat? WAT UP WIT DAT WERE MEH SMILEYS WERE!!!!!!!!! HOW MAKE SMILEYS? I DONT GET IT!!!!!!! HISSSSSS!like da koko doh
^ ^
( .\ /. )
(,,,)(,,,) *throws mad cat at cweenmj*
mittens: *presses 2*
secretary kitteh: hewwo, welcum 2 de cheezburger warehause. hao many cheez burgers u wants to has???
mittens: awwwlll ob dem, pwease!!!
It should say: “Press 1 for English…fur lolspeeks, u can has press 2 kthxbai”
“Hello? Cheezburger Barn? I been on hold twenny minnets, my burgers cold nao?”
“Hallo, hallo: is this the party to whom I am speaking?”
Dead silence; then, a faint “purr, purr, purr…….”
Muffled stage whisper: “Henry, get over here; it sounds like there’s a cat on the phone!!!”
Resigned reply: “OK, dear….why don’t we just ignore it and maybe it will hang up soon;
and stop whining; that will just aggravate it-”
Sound of a heavy object impacting;
“Owwww; Mildred, did you have to throw that…..?”……….
…………………………KLUNK!!!!!
ha!
what button I pushez for engrish?
I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.
For English, please press or say “One.”
Fur Lolcat, pres r sai “Meow” plz.
I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Kthxbai. (clik)
Oh! Dz Kittah txt too?
meh sista making scary music on piano MEEP!!!!!!! it really sounds like the octopuse from peter pan! da moping is scary dude! mop MOP mop MOP mop!!
yous know its scary!!!!!! I READZ MINDS,I KNOW IS SCARY!!!
(. . )
>
(((())))
hi I am Melissa’s sister. She is taking her piano lesson rite now. I’ll let you know when shes don
NICOLE DONT DO DAT HISSSSSSSS
*kills sista* MWA HAHA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kyoot splort 2 pls
This reminds me of a Pearls Before swine strip…
“For English, press 1″ *Crocodile makes angry face*
“Espanol press numero dos” *Looks angry and yells* “DOES NO ONE SPEAK TEH LANGUAGE!?”
“For Croc-ese, press tree.” “TANK YOU!!”
THAT PHONE WAS EXACTLY THE SAME AS MY OLD PHONE!!!!!!!!!!
2!!!!
is not caturday. But press 2 aneewayz.
I tink i will piks… number tu!!! yay!!