stalker yu haz one.
nuffing will stop stalker kitteh.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: picklepickle
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I see what you’re doing there!
Put some pants on! Geez!
Kitteh sez: looks lyke kitteh toi to meh! *kitteh leeps for it*
what has been seen, cannot be unseen! *brainbleach*
*SNERK*
nu uh! ai cant see yu, so you cant see meh!
Stalker kitteh has entered lurker mode. please stand by.
Stalker/Lurker Kitteh. Ai wantz wan. Oar moar tahn wan!!!
peeping tom!
-cat
@@@@@@@@
Tehse R brgrs – tehy meen Ai fink taht a funnee an clebber commet an Ai wont to sho yu it. We yuse to has “reel” brgrs to voet wiv, onse upon a tym. Onse upon a tym……*sygh*
uhoh need restrayning ordah
…azif kitteh’s could be restrain’d.
or eben retrain’d…
or eben train’d….
An he’s watshin u
Such a kyoot stalker! Ai kud handle wun uv doze.
yesh, kyoot kitteh just needs hed rubs and gushifuds!
dis morning Injeh yanked mah hair with here teef to wakes me up
:kitteh alarm clock, eggstra floofee and eggstra effective
Well, if’n that’s whut u wants, kitteh…
*rubs gushifuds on kitteh’s hed*
yogeh kitteh comes and liks Injeh kitteh’s hed
Injeh is furious and planz her revenge
Dat looks liek mai Nala…..oh,great – nao she be stalkin me at werk!
“Momma…where’s mai gushiefuds ?”
Big brudder kitteh is watching Uz
Peek-aboo. Ai seez u.
adn hims has teh pointy endz
Enneewun els heering teh feem moosik form “Jaws”?
Slitely diffrint moobie … “Claws.”
Jawz wud wurk fur kittehs too
demz has pointeh endz in dere mouf 2
or “Paws”
Doan ebben fink bowt goeiyng tuu sleap, noe sir!!
Yuu nebber knoes wut teh kitteh-staulkkur wills duu!!
(Hims mite jumpez awn yuur tuummee adn maike biskits!!)
Ai shuud awlsoe menshun taht kitteh ar ehntrenched iyn hims pillowe-bunkur; hims wills nawt bees eesilee reemoaved!!!
*dances*
I always feel that somebody’s waaaaatchin’ me
And I have no privacy
I always feel that somebody’s watchin’ me
Is it just a dream?
I always feel like somebody’s watching me
Who’s playing tricks on me
I always feel like somebody’s watching me
Tell me it can’t be
*rawks owt wif bad 80′s hairs*
oh, man! ai kept finking, Falco? and ai noes taht is nawt rite.
google sez is Rockwell!
w00t! w00t!
thx! I’ll be heer all week, Mundane-Caturday, and der be grate cocktails an cheezburgers in lounge!
“Sumtimes it feels like..sumbudde’s WAAATCHIN MEEEEE”
(80′s nostalgia…ai has it!)
jus becoz U iz parynoid doesn’t meean that demz is not out to get Uz
So dey iz owt to not get to me,or teh are going to go owt to get to me…
wait….whut ?????
No, they is gonna pick u up, but first they has to swing by teh drugstore, then drp Bobby off for his piano lesson. Oh, and if they can’t find a place to park outside ur place they’ll just honk then circle teh block until u comes out.
but plz to picking Billy up befoar da peano teecher feedz him to da cat, ‘kay?
Ok, wait. If they has to pick up Billy, they’ll has to take him home rite away, which means that Susie will has to leave work early but her car is in teh shop so she needs a lift but only from teh bus stop. But then they can’t get to eeck’s place until nearly elebenty, so she’ll has to meet them there.
Got it?
*suspicious look*
you sed there wood be no word prblims on da test.
Mount McKinley!!!
Do Ai win teh pryz?
Sownds suspishusly lyke wun uv teh kwotes frum Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.
Okay..lemme git dis strayte…
Bobby,Billy,drugstoar,piano lessons,Susie,car,shop,meet at elebenty.
Got it.
Oh, and instead of teh south side of JCH4K Blvd, they will be on teh west side of JCH4K Blvd. Sry for teh confusion.
Iz that north or east of the NB ??
Yes.
Kthnx.
iffin suzie iz ten milez frum billys, an billys iz ten milez frum yew, how many stalker will fit onna bus?
Elebenty hundred!!
*suspicious look, squinty like* yew peeked!
*hands kittyboocat GPs eye kreme*
just in cayse!
Okai,frenz….for your own gud,we must repeat teh warning that SQUINTY EYES WILL GIB U WRINKLES….
We now reeturn u to your regularly skeduled LOL.
howebber, u kan still luuks askanse if u wantz.
rite?
* luuks askanse *
Yabbut, askanse-looking gibs u teh forehed wrinklols. And we is almost out of teh anti-wrinklol creem that u apply directly to ur forehed.
Squinty = bad
Askanse = okai
Mosly ai apply mai forehed to teh desk. Werks pritty well to keeps daon wrinklols…
Wut’s askanse, ennywais?
I dunno, whut’s askanse wif u?
and upside down
*luks upside down*
*luks siedways at teh silleh peeps worreed about virtual wrinkles*
Aktually,teh virtual cellulite iz whut worries me.
I see whut u did there, leeza.
Here’s a grate pic of a askanse-looker. Note the beginnings of forehed wrinklols.
http://www.imagesofafghanistan.com/images/Batcha.jpg
Yah, they’re virtually inbisible.
LCB,that pikky culd be in teh dicshunary next to “askanse” !!
Great job!
Speekin uv jobs,tyme to leev myne…..BYE !!!!!!
Hay, hoaw kum yoo guise stolded teh melodee ob “CC Saev teh Qween” fur “America teh Byootiful”?
*luks askance at ‘Mericans*
Hay, hoo sed u cud send all ur cold arctick weathers down here?
*luks askanse at Kanadians (hoo is now frozed in ‘askanse luk’ since itz so cold up there)*
We was just taking teh melody outside to see whut it, um, sounded like in democracy!
Aktually,we stolded it for “My Country Tis of Thee”…….
**luks doubly askanse at Canuckians**
Eeck, it kinda already is teh definition. I searched Google Images for
“askance” and that was in teh first row of pics.
It was either that or describing it as Arnold when he wants to know whut Willis is talkin’ ’bout.
Um, ya eber herd ob ALASKA?????? Eh??? Dat’s where ALL teh cowld wevvers kums frum, yash yash it duz.
LCB, yoo guise gibs it bak rite naow. I hads a big confyoozled yesterdai when ai herd Miss Arethra sing.
That hat pretty much threw all of us for a loop, DK.
dint yoo steal taht from TTI??
Eeck, ‘Mericans can has TOO MANEE anfems. Dat’s teh problem! Haow R wii sposed to keeping dem all strate?
Not teh hat.
I meens Kanadia stolled teh song from TTI.
STN.
Butt… butt Leeza, she’s OWR Qween too!!
*mumblegrumblesillee’MericansdonutnoesnufingbowtVLC*
we has many pastry oddick songs, but onlee on anthem!
wut, ur still a commonwhelp?
well it’z OHAI time that u gotted out on ur own, Kanadia!
Ur a big country now. I suggest a revoltution.
.
I has to leave now, but plz taek that suggestion seriusslee. U has to get out on ur own sooner or later!
Hmph, wii R ENNEEFING but common! (Akshullee, owr equivalent of teh Haus of Representatives, ai fink, is teh Haus of Commons.)
Wii R part of teh Commonwhelp. Adn owr Gubner Genral, teh Qween’s representatib, is a blak wimmin!! w00t!!!
Squintee aies nawt bad!! Wurks gud for Clint Eastwoods and Tom Selleck.
*squintee aies at cananada tu demmestrate *
not that it would really happen, 0 course. that’s my story, n i aer stikkin 2 wit.
Teh collar iz in teh howse! TEH COLLAR IZ IN TEH HOWSE!!!
{{{{{Gremlin}}}}}
Shimmer asked meh to ask yew to sez “ohai” to Ruby fur him.
Ruby sends her luv!
She has bin vacayshuning in teh suthern hemispheres. Eggsept for rhsb’s partay on Munday, when we wuz chauffeured arownd by owr hero, Sully.
but not on teh goggie? himz gonna git flees.
Teh eyez haz it…nawt shur whut, butt tehy haz it, yesh, aifinksew! Maebe iz teh eyez awf deh tieger…tuxedo tieger taht iz.
***goez awf singing 4 N erz “I awf teh tieger”*** Gotta luv those 80′s bandz
eerwurm!!! it replaced ‘living on a prayer’!
Ai sawry…ai lubs “living on a prayer”
***changes 2 Bon Jovi CD***♫♪♪♫
Hay! That’s my remote! *YOINK*
Duz remote werk on stalker kitteh? Duz it has snooz buttn?
It has all kines of buttons. Like…
Alarm for when a bad American Idol audition is imminent
Blurred-face un-blurrer for COPS
Channel-surf lock
DO NOT SPOIL SPRIZE ENDING
Erase all teh Survivorator contestants u doesn’t like
F…
Find da kyootest cats on tv
Go to the best parts of the show
H…
Hey – kudja get mah a beer?
Incinerayte teh politiclol campaign ads (wich r startin already in SoCal)
Jus buzz froo teh kummershuls
K…
Keep surfin channels liek stoopy howsemate
Leeve mai settings aloen (for stoopy howsemate)
Mute noisy ads (wy tehy so LOWD?)
N…
Nonsensical human repeller
Optical enhancement wif complimentary laswer
Picnic basket appearance
Q…
Quiet, this is my favrite part co-watcher shutter-upper
Replay, not-so-instant
Scratch-n-sniff
Toupee phaser for ST(TOS)
Un-blurred blurred-face re-blurrer, because: Yikes
V…
Video gayme detester.
Windoes opener 7.1
Xrae goggles for teh NB channel
Y U wanna knoes?
Zebra prince shawpping Channul.
Hide all cumrschells,
Investigate doze CSI dudes,
Jump tew teh negs expowshun,
I like mai TiVo…
Ai haz a wunder….Y R I NAWT BLOO, enymoar?!?
R yu log in to Weirdpress nawt-sekund?
Ai nawt shur haow tew log n 2 Weirdpress nawt-sekund.
Okay, ai lukd an iz too compi…corm…copl…hard to eggsplain. Yu only needs to log n to WP iffn yu wants to.
.
Best fing to do is see cweenmj’s Majik Triks page on teh Cheez Town Cryer. Over on rite ov page is lots of links – click on teh Helpers link an she eggsplains teh different wais to be bloo.
Here is short cut – add yur own h t t p
.
cheeztowncryer.wordpress.com/majik-trikz/
.
Gud lukk!
Giev meh bak mie remote LCB…dat nawt berry niec…ai noe iz shiny an awl…butt ai needz it.
It’s MINES I tell u! I just got it programmified to work wif my dvd player, stereo, and coffee maker.
dats MAI cawfee mayker yur programmifying!
but does it tawk to Ur microwave?
And my garage door keeps opening and closing and opening and closing and…
*goes to get paypur towels to mop up iced tee frum teh keyboard*
Hey Maus..my garage door keeps opening but won’t close.
Waht u fink?!?
You have a garage door opener…
butt for elebenty cheezburgers, ai can programify the remote
tew close the garage door
ai haz elebenty cheezburgers ifen u can programify
the remoat tew close teh door….eben…2 tiems elebenty…
letz sea***countz awn finners & toes***dats 22 elebenty,
aifinkso.
*snerk*
And gramma is clutching at her pacemaker, doing teh Funky Chikken!
*spit-take*
snerk!
@@@ x elebenty!
Yew can haz. Ai duzzint want to tayke teh spit. Pleh!
Ai awlreddy had it programmified! Naow u’ve gone an messeded it awl up
Bad fyreman iz agin, gitting my hed turned around…damn fyreman…needz
teh lowd muzic tew nawt heer fone. Ai haz a question fer awl u female types?
Ai rezembuls dat remark …
last tiem i cheked yesh
Wish remark does u rezembul, NS?!?
Ai iz a female type.
wot typ ob femail is yu?
Otay! Gud! Ai needz teh femail type tew ansir question…
R awl fyremens messed up in teh hed?!? Awlso, hoaw cum tehy
only wantchew after u b seeing sumwon else?….an, an, ai am
soooo cornfuzzeled ai don’t no wish way iz up>
oops…dat waz teh sidewayz.
all peeps can be dat way sometimes. forbidden fruit and all that.
*hands Serendipity a martoonie to help with the confuzzels*
Seems to me fyremens has to be a litlol messed up in teh hed to taek job in nawt sekund plaice.
.
Liek sumwun sedded aobut war, firemens job is long strechies ov tedium punkchwated bai moments ov sheer terror.
.
Dusnt sownd liek recipe fur grate relashunship.
***sigh***U r probababably rite. Tanky u, gammacat
4 teh martoonie***hic***ai a cheep drunk…hic…hic
me too!
Yesh, aifinks moast uv dem iz, unforchoonatlee. At leest teh yunger wunz. Dey NOEZ dey iz teh hawt, an dey NOEZ teh wimminz wants dem — an dat dey kin get bizzee wif enny number uv wimminz. Teh older wunz iz muchlee beddur, aifink (unless dey haz bin inflooinced by teh yung wunz).
heerz burfday fairy agin to remind taht today iz being teh burfday ob momcat’s gurl (an gascat’s sister) fishykitteh!! to maek shur fishykitteh gets to see it, heerz teh link to today’s burfday party:
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2009/01/21/funny-pictures-you-haz-apointment/#comment-569002
One of these things…is not like the otters
teh otters r missing agin! Halp! Halp! Ebberywon halp find teh otters b4
teh trolls gitz tehm!!
Ai gotz to leaf an goe tew bad puppeh class wif mai bad puppeh! Butt aisle keep lukking 4 teh otters an round up eny i sea. gudby, cheezfrenz…i lubs u awl.
* scamper scamper sca… thud *
.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
GP? R yoo teh OK? GP?
Oh deers, hims has teh narkolepsee, aifinkso!
* bleereey eyed * huh? whut? hu’s dere?
.
shugar… ai kneads… shugar… * thud *
*jentlee cuvvurz GP wif a sawftee cheezpeep map blankee*
…
Poor liddul fing.
*puts pillow unner da pinny gigs littlol hed*
*haz a wurree*
ooo sawft! fankies gammacat! o, adn dun worree… ai is juss teh tyre… * thud *
* snorgles neckst tu Hugh inna Carry Bean * fankies NS!
Iz yew ok, GP? Yew iz givvin meh a wurree.
*kint halp bein a Mama Hen sumtiemz*
…
*wundurrs if cweenmj’s spell haz worn off*
…
Duz ai luuk liek a bebbeh otter? Cweenmj turned meh into a bebbeh otter yeshterday ebening. Nawt sew bad, akshullee.
* eyes bebbeh ottter wib pretty pink bow *
.
umm… ai is teh otay fankies… umm, bebbeh otter… yesh. umm, wai yu is nawt in yur hawt tub keepy warm?
Cuz ai iz takin caer uv an exhausted pinnygig, silleh!
O well, taht is teh otay den! Nao, has Mick bin lukking affer yu guys proplee todai whyle ai has bin awf umm… doing seekrit fings?
Um … ai iz nawt wif teh otter otters. Ai hazzint seed dem. Ai wuz mindin mah own bizness last nite, askin wen ai wud get to purrrrchase a bebbeh otter … an cweenmj turned meh into wun. Ai shud go luuk at teh fred to see if she turned meh bak aftur ai leeveded.
Nawt b4 ai leeveded. U still teh otter aifinkso.
Iz mai gwate gwate gwannie resipee, gud 4 shugar kneads!
*givs GP egstra helpin*
Mebeh sum chin whiskaz get in ther…
*czechz chins whiskaz *
Nawt mine. Ai haz awl uf mai chin whiskaz. U sure iz nawt earwurm hares?
*hands GP hawt chokilit and an applol*
ai will luk for sum more shugar, brb!
* sips hawt chokklit *
* eyes applol *
* feels faint *
okai okai
*hands GP chokolit candees in shaype of all sorts of animlols*
better?
ooo Sorid chokklit animlols! mai fayborit!!! * noms a chokklit army diller *
*brings hawt cawfee wif shugary mix-ins*
eye’ll joyne yu! hab sum cawfee!
* sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp * Fankies!
*rubs razzbry jam into GP’s gums*
mmm razzleberry… omnomnomnom… * thud *
.
.
* peeks out ob haff closed eye, hoping fur moar jam *
*puts a pat of jam on GPs nose*
hey, it werks for mai kittehs!
* lick lick lick *
* nose wrigglol *
Ai no haz razzleberry, iz snozleberry okai?
* likks lips * mmmMMMmmm snozzleberry… * drool *
Hmmmmm, furst thyme ai use home pc, it nawt gud, jus posted comment in wrawng plaice!!
Mebeh tellin meh go bed, big meetingz in morningz..
Nite Cheezpeeps!!
* waibes littlol paw *
nite nite!
*wavs floofe paw*
*BOOP*
Puts sploj ob jam awn GP’s noes
* lick lick lick *
*luks hop-fully at jam*
ai has da cat-feene jitters
Sigh.. Mai Jam is emptee!!!
I had a scon, so i eeted it wiv budder an jam. Apricot. An nao is awl gorn. Wahhhhhhhhh!!
U can haz sum of mai chokecherrie jams. Is berry gud awn wafflols adn pancaeks.
*droooooooooool*
Fanx WRR .
gibes GP a beeg glass ob koko wif xtra sugaree whippy kreme.
mmmMMMmmm fankies nyghtwind!
.
* feels a shugar oberdose coming awn *
*pats GP gentlee on da hed*
aim glad yur okai
BUTT, shugar-ohai antics not sew gud, ainfinkso!
Mick will neber be able to kleen it all up!
pfft! Mick… MICK adn his stoopy antiques… umm, antics.
.
* thinks ob dirtee jawbs fur Mick tu du as puneeshmunt *
Dey hyde teh cheezburgers behynd u knowz…
This creepy guy has been visiting your Myspace page EVERY DAY.
Verrrrreh interrressting…
Ah how cute. Wonder what type of cat it is.
stalker kitty stalks his next victom……..