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We haz ur wife hostge…


funny pictures of cats with captions

We haz ur wife hostge… Bing 10,ooo cheezburgers to LOLcat hedqurterz by midnite… Or u wil nvr c her agn

i wont return ur hamster either if i dont git mah cheezburgers.

picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: MrsDuckypin

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» 160 comments

  1. annipuss says:

    Huzbing iz finkin `bowt it

  2. Ambercat says:

    wyf sez:s’ok – tayks yur tym!

  3. parrothead says:

    Bloo eye blak kitteh – WANT! Splort!

    • annipuss says:

      Oh, deer, heer cumz teh CCC
      *sweep up PH’s branes an rinse dem wiv spring water*
      *pakk dem bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
      *fassen wiv dukky taep *
      *snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
      *Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklitt possum*
      Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.

    • rhsb says:

      Oh noes! Parrothead is down!

      **skoops up braynes, rinses em awf in sparklee waddur**
      **Plops! bak inna hed**
      **Puts bavvin cap awn**
      **Wrap wrap wrap wif ducky taype**
      **SNAP awn CHRG**
      **wraps in blankee**

      Wud u lyk sum hawt choklit oar coffee? I gots sum brewin.
      Oh, an heers sum choklit to nom awn. Gud foar wut ails ya.

      Plz to be restin foar a whiel an u shud be fien.

    • parrothead says:

      Dubbul save! Ai feel sew mush dubblee beddur! **Noms chokklit, sipz hawt drinks** Fank yew cheezfrens! Ai yewsta hab a black kitteh wif teh bloo eyes! **tightens CHRG**

  4. AfriCat says:

    O, teh huje manatee!!!

  5. parrothead says:

    Minions ov BC haz hired a orinj an wite phlonquais!

  6. rhsb says:

    Honey, it’s going to be cold tonight. Put another cat or two on the bed.

  7. Max says:

    hahaha, tayk mai wyf i dont needz her anywayz xD

  8. rhsb says:

    Awlright, Cheezy-peeps, teh coffee iz reddy!

    Who wants sum?

    I gots shugar, haff-an-haff an Moka Jo mix (so u kin make ur own Moka coffees).

    **Puts owt tray**

    Halp urselves!

  9. Jack Deth says:

    Kittehz juss wantz a
    Beeg Wawrm wiff Prittee Wun. Knoez
    teemwurkz willz sukkseed!

    Kittehz habz Happeh
    wiff noo Speshull Playss. Planz
    awn stayeengz awyle

    Prittee Wun habz t3h
    reemoat. Mebbee turnz awn ‘T3h
    Amminul Plannet’?!! :-)

    Jack.

  10. parrothead says:

    **Cutz rhsb extree-larj peace ov cake, pourz frech cawfee fur her** Here yew go, injoy! **Pours self fresch cawfee wif no moka jo (tew messee), sitz beside rhsb.** Tel me now, tell me now! I gotz nuttin tew dew but go to growshewree store later. Iz dey cawlin fur snow in KY? We mite git sum here lateur, dey say. Nawt mush.

    • rhsb says:

      I was probably turning 14 that year. Mom was very sick with the flu and told me, “If you want a birthday cake, you’re gonna have to make it yourself this year.”

      So, I find a recipe and get to cooking.

      The recipe called for flour, but didn’t specify what kind (baking or self-rising), so I used what was in the canister – self rising.

      I pour the batter into to round pans and put them in the oven to bake.

      As the cakes began baking, the batter began to rise – in the pans that obviously weren’t deep enough. The batter rose, and then spilled over the edges.

      Onto the heating element in the bottom of the oven.

      Then little flames started rising up from the burning batter.

      Then smoke began pouring out of the vent.

      Smoke began filling the house.

      The smoke detectors went off. We had to open windows – in the middle of January! There was snow on the ground and it was COLD outside!

      We couldn’t open the oven because the “safety” feature of the self-cleaning oven causes it to lock if the inside temperature gets to a certain point.

      All we could do was turn off the oven, open the windows, and wait.

      • kafleen says:

        We’re probably supposed to laugh, but I felt so sad for you!

        I could totally see the self-rising thing happening too. I could see that
        happening to me now, and I’m 43.

        But not too bright. *snurt*

      • Taht heppined tuu me wun tiem wif a meetlofe;
        Teh greese frum teh meet spilled oaver frum teh roawster awntuu teh heeting elehmint:

        Mai liddol boi wuz bowt 4 yeers auld; hims sez:
        “Mommee, teh ovvins awn fyre!!!”

        Kynda annoiyeded, Ai tolded hims tuu staupp kydding arownd; tehn Ai luuked thru teh glasss ovvin windoe adn sawed teh flaymes shuuting up;

        Ai sed: “AAAAAARRRRGGGH”, turneded aowf teh ovvin, wautched teh flaymes dye daown, adn hadded a mehltdaown maiseylfe!!!!

    • rhsb says:

      I nawt heered teh wevver report yet, but dere iz a littlol bit of snow awn the sides of teh rode. Musta snowed last nite.

      I’m bein lazee an stayin hoam today! No goin owt inna cold, unless iz so haz a siggy (dat I gotta kwit smokin soon).

  11. parrothead says:

    **sitting wif mouf opin, speeshliss**

    **rolls on floor, laffin**

    **makes note tew self – do nawt let rhsb bake**

  12. parrothead says:

    Oh CC!! Teh dotter is up an wantz teh ‘pewtur. Ai will be back awn latur! Gud mornins tew awl!

  13. Theo says:

    (and you may say to yourself) This is not my beautiful wife!

  14. yo says:

    um……… you can keep that one, I’ll find a new one.

  15. rhsb says:

    **puts cd in player, turns it up an begins dansin in room**

    I LOVE havin teh howse to myself!

  16. burfday fairy says:

    hi rhsb!!! i kno tomorrow is teh offishul party but today iz yor burfday an are yoo reddy for yor big burfday wish? :D

    • rhsb says:

      Ohai, burfday fairy!

      To kwote a fren: YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!!!

      • burfday fairy says:

        okay tehn!!!!
        *burfday fairy flits ober to rhsb*
        *she takes rhsb by teh hand an flit flit flit eskorts rhsb ober to teh Nawty Barn*
        *teh nawty Barn iz decoramayted wif manee graet big baloloons an a big sine saying HAPPEE BURFDAY RHSB!!!1!!!*
        *tehr are being smaller sines saying “reserbed for rhsb an hurz speshul burfday surprize*

  17. parrothead says:

    Ohai cheezpeeps! Ai iz back nao, awl cleened up! **wipes one linguring Moka Jo smudge awf talon** Dotter haz gone to sawftball practice, an ai tew haz howse to self! Dans Dans Dans! **Putz awn Jimmeee Buffitt CD**

    Fruitcakes in the kitchen
    Fruitcakes on the street
    Struttin’ naked through the cross walk
    In the middle of the week

    Half baked cookies in the oven
    Half baked people on the bus
    There’s a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

    ……..o dots!

  18. cweenmj says:

    Oh hai!!
    .
    Deh Cheez Town Cryer haz ben growing bai leepz adn boundz!! I postifying enneyfing wifin reezun related tu deh ICHC cummunity. Such thingz as races, partyz, condition uf sick peepz adn sick petz, cheezmeetz, eventz, etc. Mostly I b capchuring alla nowns mintz I b seeing in deh commintz. But I may missing sum. If u haz a nownsmint u b wanting postifyed, just sending a emayo tu
    cweenmj@gmail.com
    .
    In addishun tu deh nownsmintz, I haz posted a bunch of helperz and majic triks. U will finding dem listed on deh rite side. In addishun tu deh strucshunz fur avatarz adn bloo names, u will finding help fur sneeking in deh bak doorz uv profilez wen Dr.Tinycat b werking on deh serverz, adn how tu sort owt deh ICHC tiyme kunundrum, adn making smileez and posting linkeez adn, adn, adn, ….. well, and lotza uzzer stuffz.
    .
    Adn I haz ebbreefing u needz tu noez tu gitting on deh Cheezpeepz Mapz. Adn how tu seeing awl deh mapz at wunst. Adn looking at deh street vuz. Adn speeking uv deh map, wii haz 351 peepz on deh map!!! Yay!!! If u b reeding dis adn u not b on deh map, u shud b!! sending mii deh emayo rite now!!!
    .
    And u will see I haz started a listing uv deh blogz bai deh cheezpeepz. If u b wanting ur blog listed, oar if I listinged u and u b wanting off deh list, sending deh emayo tu mii.
    .
    Deh Cheez Town Cryer b at
    http://www.cheeztowncryer.wordpress.com
    .
    u will awlso finding sum uv deh eggsitement frum deh past linked in deh ICHC Lore adn Legends paige.
    http://www.cheeztowncryer.wordpress.com/ichc-lore-adn-legendz/
    .
    Tank yew fur ur support!!
    Cheez!!

  19. Rattus says:

    Wifey there looks like she’s about 13…
    … Must be Rural California.

  20. catslave says:

    Hoopy Birfdae rhsb!
    Eye knows eye is abit latte but ewe haves a Hippy Hoppy birfdae!

  21. Sorentos says:

    If yu reles her tat will be teh end of itz, but ifs you dont, i wil look for yu, i vill find yu, and i vill keel yu….ok mebbe not keel…….

  22. Jenniffuurr says:

    Hostij me next!
    Mussles cramp, can’t role aroun;
    Luv bein held captiv
    By fordyfyve pownz!
    Hostij me next!
    Reelly gotta pee, but don wanna move
    Don dare disterb
    Teh purrinz ov luv.
    Hostij me next!
    Can tanser teh fone
    Don wanna ruffle
    Teh warm kitteh zone.
    Hostij me next!
    Don send synpers or SWAT teem
    Don open tuna
    Don lettin a sunbeem!
    Hostij me next!
    If my feet are warm by tyme fur bed
    Huzbin will pay yoo
    Teh ransum yoo sed!

  23. kafleen says:

    Outrage! A woman is being held hostage and no one is calling 911!!! What’s wrong with you people!! Have you no common decency!!?? You cruel, heartless
    #$%^s!!!

    I’m calling 911 and then I’m gonna report this crappy evil site for this outrage! You’ll all get it!!! You’ll all be sorrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee!!!!

    *tosses off caretroll mask and runs like hell*

  24. MrDude1993 says:

    lol, they’ve got her good!

  25. karzym says:

    Oh noes, bring the cheesbrgers! So cute pelows!

  26. gotchi101 says:

    KITTEH ATTACK LOL

  27. Jackie says:

    Cute: Is a weapon on it’s own account.


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