Cat spit was
Cat spit was good enough for my mother and it’s good enough for me.
picture: Janet. lol caption: Serenwyl
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
thaz alotta spit!
Gedditawf NAO!!!
Kittehs aer self cleenin
An nobuddii duzzit bettuhr!
Oh teh porosity!
*snerk*
just get a tisshoo, spit on it, and u is cleen.
iz hawrd tew scrub wiffout fumbs
troo, troo……
u needs a gramma to werk teh tisshoo, ifinkso.
Wif a cigarette hanging owt teh corner ob her mouf.
Mai poor ex-hubbie experienced dis, onlee gramma useded a sour dishclof. DO NAWT WANT!!
Eeeewwww stinkee!
Um …. ew.
*shudder*
Hims turned owt scweet, considering!
Mai gramma wuld put da corner of hur apron in her mouf an cleen ar faces…ai’v bin guilty (ai did hab a son after all) of likkin da bottom uf mai blouse tu wipe his face…how a littlol boys face kin git dirty on the ride tu skool ai nebber culd figger owt!
Boiz aer dert-magnits Aifink!
ew! MY gramma never smoked!
and I wud giv anyfing to have hur back to spit on a tisshoo and wipe my face… *sniff*
Aww… ai miss mai gramma tew. Seh wuz qwiet n jentle n alwais brotted us candee when seh bisited.
mii tu, leeza. granniez ar teh besst! ai sawree bout yuors, adn ai feeel teh saime whay abowt boaf uv main (evun thohugh wunna mai granniez *did* smoake) {{{leeza}}}
Nao ai unnerstan why dey tooked my clawz.
OMG! da luk on da poor tabbehs face
*cue next scene*
*pointe ends, screemin, etc, etc*
Iz gunna haz a dark adn stormee bafroom aifinkso.
kitteh berry not happitay.
*runsadnhidesfromdepointeeends*
**tries nawt to laff an madkitteh’s fayse**
But iz so funnee!
**muffloled laffter**
Tihs be wai kittehs r plannink to taek ober teh werld. Yew doan blief me? Tehn ai prisent as ebidins:
1. Wehn teh kitteh iz sittink on yore lapp nd maeking teh bred (kneedink it), tehy is noes be fwendly. Tehy is traing to find teh fattist artry so teh kin yuse teh pointee endz to maek yew bleedz to def.
2. Wehn teh kitteh is gentlee stwoking yore faec in teh mornink, tehy is noes be fwendly. Tehy is traing to figur out hao to smuvver yew.
3. Wehn teh kitteh skatturz teh kitteh littur orl ober teh floar, tehy is pwactisink hao to buree yore boddee.
Ai puttid tihs kommint up a koplol of daez ago but ai tihnked it waz teh funeee, so ai wantid to shaer (ai iz karink, shaerink kynd of gril)
U gotta sleep sumtyme, hoomin.
NO BAF! NO BAF!
Oh the hyooj manitee!
Cat-lama-ty! Cat-apostrophee! Cat-a-climbsum!
**luuks foar trolls in 3…..2…..1…..**
Cats don’t need a bath
this is cruel and inhuman
but what else can I expect from people who
can’t spell or know any grammar.
:sighs
How did I do?
**shudders**
Oooo, berry convinsin 2_k! U had me skeered dere foar a minnit.
.
.
.
.
**whispurrs** It relee iz u, rite?
My students were plenty scared of me
when I usta teach maff or physiks
:ebil laff
eeekk! a trolol!
*gets out speclol glubs*
I ar only kidding I wuz tuff but fair
Fizziks is skeery no mattur who iz teechin it!
ai thot it wuz fun… but mebbe datz bekuz we fokussed awn teh fun parts uv fisicks- teh bubblin, and teh asplodin, and the krashin, and the fallin, and teh shootin uv innosint pandas.
I also fink it is fun but lotsa hard work
in dat cayse, mah fizzics teecher wif a marine biologee degree (dont
ask) was rather tame
he wuz an ahhhsum teecher, liek moste uv teh sienss teechers at dat skool. pitee we never convinst him to sho us wut happens wen yu put metal in teh mikrowave.
..
an just fore teh rekord, ai kudnt hit teh panda.. ore n
ething else, inklooding teh brod side uv a barn, even awn paper.
hmmmm. shootin uv innosint pandas? taht rimyndz mii uv teh grammer buk “eats shoots and leaves.” Verie difrunt ipf yuo putt ah comma aftur teh wurd “eats.” (Oar wuz teh buuk abowt kowallahz?)
Wuz joek abowt koalas, aifink.
Yis , itz da panda wut eatz, shootz nd lebez.
nawt shure itt reelly mattrz — funn grammer lessun buk eihther whay! teenee commuh cann haz biig powurr!
Dere us TWO differt books wif the title Eats Shoots and Leaves. Who woulda thot?
*finx tew hursalf dat seh shud start takin noets frum 2K sins she sposd tew beh stew dent teechifyin mafs sewn*
I wuz teaching college algebra and freshman physiks
(calculus based for deh most part) altho I has also done
deh algebra based class a cuppla tymes
led me knoz iffen I can helpz
U wuz physiks teecher? Mye sun just builted brige outta balsa wood.
Hims wuz teh litest inna hole skewl! 27 grambs i finkso
Hadd tew hold five kilos (elebenty pownds).
N E wai, himz gotted eggztra pointz fur bein teh litest tew hold.
Whut kind uff maf u teech?
wuz part of mah teaching assistantshipz in gradskool
I thot collidge algebra
wow deh bridge project sounds like it wuz full of win!
Mah research wuz theoretical I not dat grate wid
eggsperimental stuffz
I fink dey dew teh eggsperiments tu show reel appicashunz tu teh studentz.
An tu mayke it phun!.
oh yes ofcourse I has also taught labs and done many
eggsperiments it is not mah strong suit that’s all
Dis iz alsew ohai skewl, not collidge. U wuz teechin at an
ohaier lebell.
an tehrefore, moar boring level… pitee dat skool getz moar boring teh longer yu goze.
ai haz mai furst clas tewnite (ai’m teh teechur) sew we’ll see haow skeered they r uv mi!
gud luk I sucked in mah furrst semester
talked too fast wuz nervous
wuz much better the second time around!
sowee fur deh lack of puncshuashunz
Well kitteh, u shuddenta played wit dat blak kitteh wit teh wite stripee onnit.
We wuz howsesittin/catsittin fur sumwun wif an indoor/outdoor Himalayan once mennee yeerz ago. Kitteh had an enkowntur wif wun uv dem wite-stripee blak kittehz. We warshed teh poor kitteh in tomater joose — got pikshurs sumware. Wuz bery bery pafettik. Eben aftur teh tomater joose baff & a regular baff, kitteh wuz still teh stinkee fur kwite sum tiem!
Wai, mummeh, wai? Wai yoo do dis to mii? Yoo nawt lubs mii enneemoar?
Lulz. Dat’s wut I allus fink of first.
Whi, whi, WHI U DOES DIS TO MEEEE?????
Speshullee whin kitteh is dressded up in sum redonk cloathes.
Oh teh hoomilitee!!!
Dis gonna be Injej dis weekendz or mebbeh neggst
Herz white pawz luks lyke dingy socks
becoz of all the tyme spent unner deh bedz
and herz has become quite fragrant
smells like a small farm animlol
Butt butt teh smawl farm animlols smeels teh gud! Just fink ob pinny gigs!
Ai lieks teh smell uv pinny gigs — but ai donut fink uv dem az “farm aminlols” sew muchlee. Iz dey teh farm aminlols?
If itz a pinny gig farm, den yesh.
**gigglols at thot of a herd of pinny gigs grazin inna feeld, an runnin to teh barn**
… adn going “week week weeeeeeek!”
Wot wud be herding dem – mauses?
thunk!
*falls outa chair laffing at image of Maus herding GP*
U nawt can herd pinny gigs. U haz tu hier teh pi piper tu leeds them.
ware am i leeding them to? ize just chekked mai sertifikayshuns, and
i kwlaifies az a pi piper, on akkownt uv teh myoosikul pi-pult ai bilded.
U haz tu aks teh pinny gig farmur dat.
ifinkso they probablee needs a herdin doggeh, but somthin smaller than a border collee.
maybe a shewawa.
duz yu mene a chee hooa hooa?
yesh! I was just spellin funettickally.
Ai thort pinny gigs grayzed awn pork pis an pork skratchinz!
oh CC, i totally mis-read pi(s)!
Yuss, Ai seed dat az soon az Ai’d clikked “send”
!snork! gud wan, adn soe *inosent*, deer anni!
Lolspeak trips me up sumtiemz – fonetik spellin haz sum pitfawls!
**sayz purrayur foar 2_k**
fanks! did Uz get mah messij?
Yesh, I did.
My lokal liberry nawt has it. I will luuk foar it teh nexst tiem I go to Lexington.
mebbeh demz can does an interlibbery loan
PG county would does dat
hay, hope I iz not bein nosey, but if u checks out Amazon, lots of tiems u can find a book for almost nuffin, ‘cept teh shippin fee. And tehy dilivers to ur door!
Yash, dis is haow ai buys almost awl mai buks now. abebooks, too.
Kudja mebbe pettin hur wif baby wieps? Dunno if dat wud halp oar nawt. Kuddint hurt!
otay will try dat furrst
iffen doesn’t wurk den baff neggst weekz
insewerants – check
bandy-geses (lots) – check
glubs – check
two_kittehs is ready, aifinkso
I hasta clip her clawzes
demz has become sharp pointeh hooks
careful! my sil got pointeh end stuck in nose da WUN time she
tried to bathe wun of her kittehs
Injeh is the sweetest kitteh
she neber uses her teef or clawz on Uz
an I has gibben her baffs befoh
only time she bit me really hard when herz was scared
when herz paw had got stuck in a wire shelf and I tried to help her
pooh bebbeh, herz wuz a wee liddlol kittun den
now herz is big tubby tabbeh
Oh – well, if she doesn’t mind then, you might be fine.
sounds like mai Cannoli. he tries to get away, but he won’t bite
or scratch, even at the vet.
Cannoli sounds sweet whut is himz color
mah Injeh is orinj wid white scarf on her neck and chest
an white pawzes
chek mah profile fur herz photos
Cannol-butt is an oranj tabbeh, slightlee floofee
*maykes note in itteh bitteh super sekret diaree to get profile*
he’s very sweet and good natured.
ai *lurvz* cannoli’s nom-naym!
shal wii starrt uh colab… cullab… eferbodi ken ad sumfin limmarik?
Tehre wunce wuz a kit naymd Cannoli,
Whu gammacat cawld roly-poly.
He…
(yuor tern nao…)
which he thot was rude
sew he yodloled and mewed
‘aim just sweet and snorglee and floofee’
nais, nais, nais limmarik finihshing, deer gamma! adn yerss, aifink itz okeh foar teh lasst lyne uv teh limarikk tu *nawt* raihm wiht teh firist tue lynez. butt (hee hee) ifh whee warnted tu mayk itt raihm, howza bout …”itz becorz uv mai nom, gwakamoley!
Cannoli! Wii iz havin cannoli? Mai I plz haz sum?
plz plz plz? cann i, cann i? Eye sayed plz!
I has eated sum really gud cannoli in Baltimore!
not to nom ma oranj floofy-butt
wait, that came out wrong
…
butt, here are sum cannoli from Bawstone
Mmmmm….cannolis….
Teh bestest cannolis I had wuz from Mike’s Pastry in Boston.
**drools an it freezes awn chin**
Hav yu ever had Ben an Jerrys Holy Cannoli? Iz tu dy for!
ooooh, must tri B&J!
Mikes Pastry FTW, Cafe Vittoria a few doors down
very good also – nommy cawfee!
adn yumnommee cannoli awn Arfurr Abbinyoo inn teh Brrronkx
Kitteh iz nawt happee at awl. somejuan is abut 2 find aowt hao sharpe the pointy endz iz.
and dat teh kitteh rillee can speek inglish- teh werd HaLP!
I likes deh werd “somejuan”
Hay guise, chek dis owt adn let mii noes wut yoo finks. Will he caer? Will he lissen?
http://www.cbc.ca/radio2/obamasplaylist/
Aifinkso is waste uf tyme, but iz nawt mai tyme so dey can waste awl dey wants.
Cananda haz teh gud moosics, Pres elect Obama iz too buzzee tu sits and listen Aifinkso.
he is gonna be berry busee
I see no long brush cutting vacashunz in himz future
but I fink is a nice gesture
and mebbeh himz will listen to a song or two
Has bin reellee phun heering awl dis gud myoosics on teh radio!
Mutha noes best…jes ask one an she’ll tell ya.
Punishment fur hoomin will be barfs in shoos an on pillows til furrther notis.
plus a cuple of places you won’t find till MUCH later…
Dat kitteh is priddee calm foar gettin a baf.
I allus worried teh neybors fot i wuz killin the kittehs teh wai dey wud cri.
Den I wud cri cuz I wud be awl skrachded up.
ai now! when we put Cannoli in da cat carrier, he yodelols
lyke we are torturing him. maykes be feel soooo bad!
ooh gammacat — meybe teh yodulin iz be gud tu ad tu limmarik (skroal upp ah bitt tu teh limuryk-inn-prawgress)…
mah Yogi cries like dat whenz I put him in deh car
to go deh vet is berree loud and pitiful
funni thing, he calms down once the car starts!
My other kitteh, Shadow, is very quiet. She only mews
when we are holding her and won’t let her down. Then the
mew is seeeeew tiny and pathetic!
I kno wut wii kin do to keeps warm!
GROOP SNORGLOL!
Who iz joynin me?
**snorgles rhsb**
cum visit sf-bay-area.
unseesonable weffer, we has it!
yuo sezzit, gammacat! ai livz heer tu. cawnvurtiblz cann hazz tawpz daon…
**paks bags to go to Calyfornyuh**
Hay! Nawt fare! Iz abowt -25 selsius heer!
*dreeming ob Joolye wen it will bees 30 selsius*
Yu being cairful wif da fals springz. menny ub us wairz da snadlolz nd shrotz nd nekz wke we getz sik wen wevvur goze bak tu nurmul.
Heer in sandiego tu, gammacat! Is in the mid-70’s rite now, it’s colder in da haus den outside.
O hai, KK4!
P.S.: RIPPERTON!
here I iz. Lettuce all go to Hawaii deh birfplais of ICHC
eben better! pineapplols! sandee beeches wif warm watteh!
uther kultural inflooenses! moar pinapplols! lava flos an rosteded piggies!
Oh plz NO!!!!
Plz to nawt nommin teh rodintz!!!
naw… full size wuns… baked in a hole in teh grownd.
ai lurvz teh hawiyin wurd fur piggeh; kindah lukz laik gud lolspeak wurd. it’z pua’a (POOH-ah-ah). adn teh hawayin “twelbity daze uv krissmouse” sez “five big-fat-PIG!”
ahh. hawiaii. tthree haorz bee-four caly4mya taim. nao ai unnerstanz hao teh ICHC o’clokz werk (aifinkso)…
Aifinks yu rite bout dat, calicocoa, mai mom took meh an sisteh tu Maui last yeer, was heaven!!
Psssssssssssst: I haz a eggsplanashun uv deh ICHC tiymez
adn how tu figgeringz it owt at
http://www.cheeztowncryer.wordpress.com/majik-trikz/ichc-time/
ahhh yerss, middwai. wehre awl teh pigz ar haff-baykd. fankz, deer kween. kewl innfoez.
Oh Leeza,
wuz dat U ai saw inna church Sundai?
Well when I was a kid I’d take a trip
Every summer down the Mississippi
To visit my granny in her ante bellum world
I’d run barefooted all day long
Climbing trees free as a song
One day I happened to catch myself a squirrel
I stuffed her down in an old shoebox
Punched a couple holes in the top
And when Sunday came
I snuck her into church
I was sittin way back in the very last pew
Showin her to my good buddy Hugh
When that squirrel got loose
And went totally berserk !
….♪
Strypee Kitteh habz
lawtza phunn. Playdz in mudd! Naow
haz 2 habz a Baff!!!
Baff iz ‘Pleh!”. Duz nawtz
wantz! Mebbee Prittee Wun letz
Kitteh cleenz himz selff?
Mebbee Kitteh shoodz
akxz aginn poalitelee? Dat
shoodz duz t3h trikk!
Jack.
Applol saus, applol saus. Win!!
@@@@@@@!!!
*clappityclappityclappityclappity*
Such an evil face.
Noes! Iz nawt teh ebil! is teh reezyned.
Iz teh looking 4 teh door faec.
Dis ____> :ebil:
iz teh ebil fase..
*korsses fingrrs an praize ai memberd teh rite smilol-fase*
dratted… nao i kant spell..
be teh ebil fase..
DIS >
…
testing ebilness levels…
ohai kitsunerina, dat is rite, ifinkso, LOLZ, u just duzn’t use lolspeek in teh smileys! it’s evil!
.
btw, I has always had a ponder how u camed up wif ur name? Is there a storee?
And here I thought C was for Cookie.
How wrong I was, C was for Catspit!
*starts to hum*
C is for Catspit and that’s good enough for me…
*hum hum hum*
…Catspit catspit catspit starts with C.
Or something like that.
We haz adapted dat fur wun uv owr kittehs:
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
T is fur Tyler. Datz gud enuf fur meh.
Sawft wite an floofee, an sweet as he kin be
T is fur Tyler. Datz gud enuf fur meh.
O Tyler Tyler Tyler starts wif T.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
Sesame Street refrence fur teh win!!!
heh heh vury funneez! me laff lawts @ tis un.
Fluffy knew it was only a matter of time before she could exact her revenge….and she could be patient. Oh yes.
Ai finked uf U todai. We had teh skwirlol sneek inna door at wurks. Hur wented teh nutz traing tu find teh wai out.
oh noes! I bet she wuz just tryin not to fweeze to deth in this cold.
I worries about teh aminols in this weathah.
I baptize u in the name of Ceiling Cat
yah, but teh kittehs takin it better dan mai littlol bruther- he skreeeemed “ITZ COOOOOOLLLLLLLDDD!” and tried to run awai… good thing heze so small ore hede never take a baff.
…
even teh kittehs tolerates bafftaim better dan him.
I lub picshure butt I can nawt find it in Serenwyls lols. Waaahh! Wants,
Duz u not haz a favritz buttin on dis page??? Deh Cheezez fixinged it jus yesterday and now I kin seeing deh favritz buttin… I haz deh FireFawkz…. Wut browzer u b uzing??
Oh, why hoomans washes their kittehs? they cleans themselves.
wel, sumtimes teh kitteh gets pleh stuff on tehm taht tehy cannot be washing owt tehmselvs. like if tehy gets oyl or sumfin on tehm, wuld make tehm sik. or wen owr kitteh Kumo gotted Bad Cat Poo on him (taht iz being poo frum a Bad Cat taht coms into anovver kitteh’s territory an tries to take ober teh joynt an tehn tehy fite an teh lokal kitteh gets poo frum teh bad cat on him) had to wash taht off in teh baftub, no way him wuz going to wash it off himself, plus him wuz trying to hide unner teh bed wif teh poo all ober him an i didnt want him stinking up teh bedrum. teh smell, yoo wuldnt beleeve. stinky stinky phew
spit nawt guud fer ppl wit allergies tho.
Ai no can wahs ma kitteh–da fur stiks tu mai tung.