We guard the gates of HELL! HALL. We guard the HALL. idiot.
dis kitteh iz teh wun guardin hell.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: korikill
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We guard the gates of HELL!
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Nunz shall pass!
Tho wut teh nunz iz doin heer, ai haz NOE ideeyuh.
Goin t’ hell apparently…LOL
haahaha! that is so appropriate!
Ha ha! No, just out to the hall.
Hellz has cheezburger?
Dey aer kullektin feu teh orfunz
ac chew ally, deez nunz usta b ohai skool teechus- sewdey b komin
BAK from hell !
Hai SPARKYSMOM ! May ai just hang sumthing heer?
Deer Frenz,
ai am so sorree ai cant bee heer rite nao – hav a bit ov a medical eee meergensee wif mai ant Daizy. Just wanted yoo to know ai wuzn’t nawt heer becuz ai dint want to be.
Seems laik a bit too few negatifs there, but ai’m sure yoo know waht ai meen.
.
Ai’ll be bak when ai can – soon, ai hoep.
{{janet}}
{{janets ant Daizy}}
hope things get better.
{{{{Janet}}}}}
{{{{Aunt Daisy}}}}}
{{{{{{{Janet}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{Janets ant}}}}}}}
ohai Plasticat! aye finalloly see yur gnu abatart!
Reeeleeee? Dats gud! Uh…. Ummmmm…. How b yoo tudai?
okai (still at werk)
howiz da mobie goin?
saem az eets bin-skools bin gittin in teh wai…
lukowt behinde you, Gandlolf!!!!
gmta sweepea!
nooo!!! neber luk bak!!!
oh wayt, dat’s onlee when leeving!
nunz iz going to teh h
eall?Well – dey hasta pass teh hall to get sumwere else mebbe?
followed bai skoolkidletz, tu bai tu.
did U goes to mah skool bai any chance?
The animals came, they came in twosies, twosies.
The animals came, they came in twosies, twosies.
Elephants and *clap* kangaroosey-roosies.
Teh Lord sed to Nowah
To bild him an ark-arky
Kittehz uv teh lord!
Luks lyk we AWL went to teh saym Sumdai Skool!
ohai nightshayde – congo racks furr teh nawt sekkind nawt sekkind. pleez tu lead teh (looong) braid tu teh tybuteeq?
Wif happitayl!
…
*wun too free KIK*
*wun too free KIK*
…
Ebbreewun join in!
*wun too free KIK*
*wun too free KIK*
who is U kicking?
OW!!!! *rubs shin*
OK nao. Letz joyn paws and do teh chorus lyne!
*puts wun paw arownd 2K, teh uther arownd Nightshayde*
Wun too three, KIK!!!! Wun too three, KIK!!!!
now whu is gettin kiked?
Oops. Sry, Gremlin. Gess ai gotted a liddul eggsited abowt goin to teh TyBooteek.
abandnom hoep
…lol ye who entre hear.
dantekitteh sez: lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch’entrate…
*luks shokked* Yoo kiss yor mama with that mowth!???
*gigglol* That remynds me uv an editor frend uv myne. She had an issue with teh use uf teh wurd hopefully, kaws it is almost always used rong. She useta has a signe posted abuv her wurkspayce:
Abandon hopefully, all ye who enter here.
LOL!!!! FTW!!! Ai lubs it!
GMTA SP!
fangs, i’ll taek dat complement.
don’t need guard doggie no more…
hull (dat’z boatkitteh)
Abandun hoep awl yee hoo enter…
GMTA!
An GMTA, GMTA!!!!
O noes,; Debbil Katts..
Ummmm; hall oar hell??
(Wen wills thems geyt tehir storree strait???)
Debbil katts – aren’t they all? *gigglol*
LOTR kittehs!
One of us lies and one always tells the truth…
so, whoo iz whoo? (oops, taht’s teh owlz…)
An yew are alowd WON qweshton…
Oar r u lyin?
Hummmmm… WWSuCCD?
(Wuh wud son ub Ceiling Cat Do?)
Lukowt! Teh tabbehs uv h*ll!
Thou shall not pass!
But … but … ai haz studied so hard!
not hard enuff
neggst time do Ur homework
on time
dat willz halp
Ai kud mebbe bribing teh teechur wif cheezburgerz?
wid bloo cheese bacon and carmelized oniyons
an sum curly fries and ketchupz 2
Answer mee deez qwestions three err de udder syde u c…
Whut iz your namez?
Whut iz ur qwest?
Whut iz de air speed velocitee uff an unlayden kitten fawlin off uff teh door?
Afrikan or Yoorohpeun Kitten?
Africun….no, Yuropeen – Aaaaaarrrgghh!!!
mebbe is asian kitteh?
like hello kitteh
Lessee, fifteen pownds tymes pi skwayred divided by teh speed uv sownd.
*scribbles on a liddel note pad*
*luks up hopefully*
Is teh answer – Elebenty?
yur name is elebenty? ai thot it was Gremlin
Yoo meen teh answer is nawt elebenty?
*hangs hed, has a disappoyntmint*
Yu is heer tu swoon foar disappoyntmint – wii rote yu inna poyntmint buk foar happast-elebentee neks Mundane. Kum bak den, pls.
Elebenty Gremlins? : shock :
*perks up eers, luks interested agin*
Elebenty gremlins!? Zowie! *jumpsarownd eggsitedly*
Elebenty gremlins! butt who do i hedbatz nawt sekkun?
An awn teh wai, juss reed tehse:
No mor caek
Ai will nawt dryv teh car to teh taykaway
Tankyu for Nosmo King
Ai ment it for teh best
We is a eekwul obbertoonitee employer…
Cos teh wai to Hall is payved wiv gud intenshuns!
Ai thort it wuz teh wai 2 Hull
No, taht’s teh A63!
Wot’s dat payved wiv den?
Err, teh bodees ob teh peeps hoo gawt trampulld in the rush to get owt?!
Blessed are the cheezmakers??
Fur dey shall inherit teh erf?
Dese cheezmakers inherit teh mirth.
I is teh surprized that nobuddy contested teh will.
da kittehs ayte all da lolyers!
or at least bunny-kicked dem to def!
*flips thru copy of Teh Compleeted Works of Shakespeer*
It does NOT say here: “First thing, let’s bunny-kick all teh lolyers”!
obveeously you dont hav the
completloled werks of shakespurrrrr!
U means, teh Pud of Avon? Ur rite, I doesn’t. I wented to a stoopy hoomin-centric skool.
I fink da cheezmakers inherit da Girth.
dat’s funneh
I finso dat be deh cheez eeterz….
an eeterz of deh fried fings and buttery fings
Phat Cat, ur website is full of teh win and awesumness! U ROCK!!!
Oh, tank u BERRY mush upfi! That makez my day!
Gud wun!
innherit teh *erf?* yerss, adn teh green wunz shal awlso inherrit teh *moone…*
Butt, teh moone iz mayde uff cheez.
Sew tehn teh cheezmakerz still inherit teh moone.
Well, awl manyoofactrees ob daery porducts, rilly
Yay! Ambercat gotted the most obscure reference!
halpsplainrefpleez?
“Monty Python’s Life of Brian” hearing the sermon on the mount from alllll the way in the back…LOL
Consider teh lillillilies ob teh feeld….
he’s not teh savyur, he’s a very notty boy!
curse u wordpretzel! dis commint was 4 teh life o brian thred.
annnnnnnd. now its here. my brane hurtz. and i is stuck at work so i can’t even take a few sips of “medicine”
Mah fayvrit Life of Brian momint: when he is in bed, nekkid, and stands up and throws open teh window. And awl those peepuls wuz ther watching! *chortle* (or wuz it a door? window or door, no matter – wuz wun uv teh phunniest things I has seen ennywhar!)
my favorite, even tho it is vrrry vrry sofomoric, iz teh wife of biggus diccus… “Incontinentia Buttix”
Romanes Eunt Domus!
Yeah, but…Wot has Roe muns ebber dun fur us? Apart form strate rodes…
aqua-ducks and litteh bocks?
Awlrite, BUT apart form strate rodes, akwa dux an toylets….Wot has teh Roe Muns EBBER dun fur us?!
gushifud?
ok: strate rodes, akwa dux, toylets an gushifuds. But APART form taht; wot has teh Roe Muns EBBER dun fur us?!
and the wine…
ok, ok, so :strate rodes; akwa dux; toylets; gushifuds and wyn – but APART form taht; wot has teh Roe Muns ebber dun fur us!
Peetsa
beztest seen wuz teh roman correctation ub teh grafitti.
yuppers! wun of mai faborite sceens!
But we were supposed to dine there tonight!
nom! nom there tonight!
lolspeak brain cells failing….
but this is not SPARTA
butt goggie tole me it was Sparta
aifink, der was a lotta goggie drool…
Can onlee inter inna handbaskit
whut bout a moses baskit?
Datz just fur bebbiez.
Kerberos!
*laffin reely hard*
Yes, Kerberos will tell yoo iffn yoo kin pass or nawt! Gud wun!
Then agin, ther wus Cerberus, teh multi-heded hownd uv hell.
But Kerberos (Internet authentikayshun program) wuz teh phunnier!
Ohhhhh :::is cuvvered wif emberressmint:::
But why? No need fur imbarrissment heer! We is awl frenz!
*grooms lynxany’s eer, jently*
first saw kerberos at college – gave access to Athena
(computer system)
Oh … I was Ag major … we wuz owt playing wif sheepies and cowsies an horsees wile peeps in “real” classess playid wif puters. But we awl had nice tans
wento college in Bawstone. lotsa compewters = warm rooms!
I went in Toosawn … warm rooms not hard to find
aww dat sounds like a lotsa funz
hey I has used dat program
kinda miss it! all unix based = no pleh windoze!
gammacat ur geekiness is showin
not that there is anyfing wrong wid dat
im an engineer, what can I say!
otay has U hurd dis one
two hydrogen ions wuz sitting at deh bar
one saiz to deh odder why iz U sad
the sad ion answurs
I lost my electron
ar Ur shure himz fren aks
I am pawsitive
*faispaw*
*headdesk*
*snerk*
*gigglol*
Were dey doin teh neutron dance wen he losted hiz electron?
wuz deh neutrino dans akshully
Would our Philippe d’Beaker does teh neuston danse?
ohai two_kittehs!
*ahem*
an elecktron walks into a bar, and orderz a drink.
Teh bartender givz it to teh elecktron hoo says, “thanks, how much?”
Bartendur: “For you- no charge.”
oops. that was sposed to be a neutron joke!
no negativitees, plzthxitzbinalongday
is eben bedder for deh electron
since the charge is negative
the bartender has to gibe electron munnies
fur habing a drink
cue the Soviet inversion
In soviet russia..
Datz gud. Wii bee needin moar train driverz.
sigh… you wuldnt beleib how manee peeps ive met who
ackshewlly thot that!
..
*patts tribble gently on the nose*
Boop!
ohai Tribble
Wen mye huzband wuz in colleje he towled sum wun in
dere town dat himz wuz studdin engineering.
An datz whut teh purrsun sayed.
Dew tribbles haz a noze?
i not noez if demz eben has a fayce
is covered by floof
dat sounds lyke da time hubbeh saiz “ai wer
at Amoco” (da research center)
and da grrl asked “which gas station?”
Do tribblols has noses?
*has a ponder*
*runs off to watch old Trek to find out*
So I gyess civil enginears are polight trayn drivers?
Butt Kerberos be misseen a head?
third kitteh in litterbocks.
Dat bees y yu cawlin him ‘Butt Kerberos’?
hell kittehs
ohai we saw Ur cerberus but we eated him
Nao, duz we wunt to has a kitteh as Charon, teh Ferryman, too?
*thinks abowt that kayrfully*
Kittehs not gonna cross river even in a ferry … dey tayk your coinz and go buy cheezburgers
Mm-hmm. Just as I thot! Nope, thatz a gud reezun why teh kittehs kannawt play teh part uv ferryman.
Also, ther’s teh prollem that as soon as they git to wun side uv teh river, they decydes they REELy wanted to be on teh uther syde!
Heh … I gyess Cheezburgers in Hell just wuldn’t mayk as catchy a toon as Cheezburgers in Pairadice.
cheezburgers aniwere = win
And Fluffee too … now the Philosuffers Stone is owurs!
Liberry lions gard teh gates!
Conveniently, they’re already cement-colored.
FTW; @@@@@@@@@@!!!
Wy ai nawt in bloo….ai lawst mai blooniss! Waaaahhhh!
bettur dan losing you bloomies
Dat dependz on teh sichooayshun, aifinkso.
Der is diffrunce beetween losing your bloomies and jumppin outta dem
Doan wanna loose teh bloomies! Noes! Ai jus nawt bloo ennymoar…….
Maek shore u aer logged in to WP – sumtiemz teh connekshun gets borked
Hai Annipuss, ai cant get heer frm WP for sum reeson……..
Ohai KCT! how u bee?
Hai AfriCat! I bee fien but habbin dat sir jury on 1/19/09 on Mundane.
U haz 2 go 2 teh WP site, log in an den kum bakk to dis wun. Sumtiems Ai can do it wiv teh go bakk wun payj buttun (mai taek sebrul clikks)
ok. let’s see ifn it werks.
Nao?
Trai agins.
Nope. Sawry 2 disappoint u. *pets kctailkinker soothingly on the back*
Stoopee weerdpress!
Don’t fergit tu refresh deh ICHC after u logz intu deh WP. … if, wen u loggz intu deh wp, u chekkz deh “remember me” box, u will b auto majikkalolee logged intu wp ebbree time u startz ur browzer adn u won’t haz tu log in everee tiyme tu cumz on line.
bwwaahaaahaahaaa! dis b teh phunniest!
i tink tehy is waitin fur atreyu to pass thru.
Falcore!
Be confident, Atreyu!
mebbe itz a hall leedin to hell!
Cue teh AC/DCs:
I’m on teh hallway to hell! Hallway to hell…
O o! ifn teh peeps start hedbongin agen, ai dunno if ai hav enuf hallo kitty bandaids fur all teh owies!
I look at you and my blood boils hot, I feel my temperature rise
I want it all, give me what you got, there’s hunger in your eyes
I’m gettin’ closer, baby hear me breath, ha ha ha
You know the way to give me what I need
Just let me love you and you’ll never leave
Feel my heat takin’ you higher, burn with me, Heaven’s on fire
Paint the sky with desire, angel fly, Heaven’s on fire
Kiss! Ai lubs KISS!!!! FTW, WRr!!! Schmoos, no, dis tyme: KISSES from Upfi
Wou! The Catgonauts!
Dey mus be de Eben ‘N Snooch Kitties
I ars teh Keymashter.
Is u teh Gaitekeepr?
Gostbusterz!! FTW!!!!
This one is too funny! I love it!
diz it be very gud lolcat…won of de best, yesh. aifinkso.
**comes in from cold**
Brrrr!!!! Iz twelbe degrees owt dere rite nao! Iz pozed to get to -5 tonite an bak to a balmee 14 tomorrow. DO NAWT WANT!
**wunners who she can moov in wif until mid-May**
well I wud say u cud come heer, but itz not much better.
we gets down to about 14 tonite, and 10 tomorrows. VERY cold for these parts!
*pownces on teh Leeza*
Ohai! R yoo habbing a better dai todai tahn yesterdai?
Schmooo!
*pownses bak on DK*
oh my stoopervisor… she is unhappy wif hur job, so she takes it owt on me. she came over yesterday and saw me on the innertubes and sent me an EMAYO saying I shud only be using them for werks.
(never mind that she iz on tehm all teh time hurself)
.
*sigh*
she getz liek this every once in a wile, I just ignore hur mostlee, but yesterday it just got to me.
Tell hur to go refill hur purskripshun foar Chill Pills.
I knoes!
Teh lokal skools has closeded foar tomorrow.
I say if iz too cold to go to skool, iz too cold to go to werks!
-5F nawt cowld. Dat be teh hai here tudai. ober nite loe wus teh -25F Nawt counting the windee chills.
U can has dis cold. I donut wannit.
Ai nawt wannit. Wai U fink ai wants tu set hebben awn fyres? Iz nawt tu find teh fyremans. (mebbe the fyrewimmins)
Teh wadder wud freeze befoar it hitted teh grown!
I wuddnt mind teh cold so mutch if I nawt hasta go owt innit.
In my nexst lyf, if I nawt kin be a kitteh, I wanna be a bear. Dey gets to hiburrnayte!
Case in Point:
In this life I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d Like to come back as a bear. When your a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, your suppose to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
When your a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while your sleeping and wake up to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definatley deal with that.
If your a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. you swat away anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If your a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
YUP, GONNA BE A BEAR
good points RSHB
*starts bear meditations*
*growlgrowlgrowlgrowlgrowlgrowl*
Yeah … but you awlso gotta poop in da woods
. Mebbe I’ll be a howsebear
next tyme arownd. Altho I dunno if a bear litterbocks wud be much fun
eyther. I may be two prissie to be a bear. (My hubby tells me regulurrly
that I was obveeussly the most spoyled of howse cats in mt last lyfe. An I tell hims “Whuts wrowng wif dat? Now go fetch me some icecreem and grab my snugglee blankie as you come bakk.”
Ohai cheezfrens! Jist popped in tew sai ohai, an pleez tew turn up teh heet in Birginia, iz tew darn cowld!
Ohai, parrothead!
Ohai nightshayde! How are yew dis ebening?
:::Tries hard to puff some 80 duhgreez SoCal air in direcksion of Birginia::::
*puff*
*puff*
*puffpuffpuff*
Ohai rhsb! Letz go lib wif kerrykatz4, herz in kalyfournya, aifinkso.
Sownz gud to me!
Pik me up in KY awn ur way Westward, plz.
Ai will pick yew up, but yew will haf tew pack litelee, mai truck iz full ov cocomnuts. **Ai’ve got a luverlee bunch ov cocomnuts… [insert musical notes here]**
Bikinee an flip flops nawt take mutch room do they?
But dat beech blankee, yew mite hab tew hold dat in yer lap.
***Goes to pack***
Gotta go home from pleh wurk, mebbeh I see yew cheezpeeps tomawra!
IT’S OWNLY 9 DEGREES HEER! HALP! SABE MEH! TEH WIND CHILL IS EBEN WORSER!
Pfft. The Twin Cities TAUNTS your puny thermometers. Collectively!
Not that we’re venturing outside to do it, you understand.
Iz not nyce to tawnt.
(Iz much better to glowt)
:::Streches out as laaawwwwnnnnggg as possabul on sunnee SoCal deck and waves tayl lazulee::::
*Handz lynxany a nice kewl, refreshing tropiclol drink
*wif fruitz adn deh obligatory paper um bre lol.
*runs by dressed in green floofy nikkers, fermal unnerwares, jeens, wind pants, 2 long-sleebed tops, a fleese jakkit, a arctic parka, toque, mitts, skarf n winter boots*
WHARS TEH HAWT CHONKLITT?!?!?!?
Ooooohh … wares you get floofy nikkers? Nawt needs dem for warmf heer …. but dey mite mayk a niec fashun staytment wif my fayvrit fuzzee eermuffs
:::batses paypurr um bre lol arownd on dekk:::
[stays the hell indoors]
[behind THE GATES OF HELL]
['cos it's warm in here]
*handz Theo a chokklit martoonee
*wif 3 shotz uv peppermint schnappz on deh side
*tu keeping deh cold at baye.
[joins Theo behind the gates]
caus itz KOLD hear!
** imeresting obskervation** da tempatura neber gotted above ’bout 34de grees owt here n iz belo frezin nao… dis afernoon sawed guy WASHEN hims KAR in awer ‘partment parkin lot! BEEEG puddl ub wadda in da middle ub da parken lot…. weiz gona hab a mini skatin rink tamara!
momcat
That doesn’t sound half bad, actually. And it IS Friday…
http://www.marriedtothesea.com/021506/booze-time.jpg
GOO KITTY!!!
Iz teh Izzledoor an Annareeon kittehs!
nice one!
I heartz dis one. It rili gave me the LOLs!
LOLOLOLOL
dat wuz good
Haha iz appropriate, ritez?
most of it iz but hey we have to say it iz a lol!
FIRST!
Monorail cat stashun. Awl abored!
um they are the guards of hall nut that!