mafia cat disposes of the body
mafia cat disposes of the body
but i dont wantz 2 sleep wif da fishies.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: catcrazed62
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Swimming with the fishes…
you are quick Maus!
Boop!
Fanks!
BOOP!
Or maybe buried in Wrigley Field…
da poor cubbies hav enuff trubble!
Why do dat? Innit awl gummed up?
snerk!
trying to double the fun? fieldtrip & work?
concatshoelaces on teh nawt-sekkund Maus
*skootches Taya to teh sied*
SKYOOOSE MEH!
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*ahem*
Teh burfdays just keep on comin peeps!
Next Monday, the 19th, join us on our next installmint of teh burfdai races… we will cellibrate rshb’s burfdai!
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At teh lol which happenz at 6 am cheeztime… and that is
12 pm EST
9 am spacific time
5 pm TTI time
Mowntin and Central in the middles there.
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Ifinkso you shud have no trubble finking of somethin speshul and creative for owr frend red!
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I’m pretteh sure someone else has a burfdai on teh 19th, but drat if I can remember who! Sew if ur burfdai is on teh 18th, or really anytime next week, let me know and we’ll add u to teh guessed of honor listy!
**WHEW** Oh, gud. I wuz afrayed it wuz gonna be teh erlyur wun. I gotta go sumware dat moarnin but shud be bak in plenny tiem.
onoes… I thot I axed u to make shure wot time?
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well we wudda moved it if u had a nomflict.
*licks Skwirrlgrrl fais*
u is not tastin me is u?
Noes ai iz doin dat az frenlee greetin
Squirrels are not tasty, actually. Don’t ask how I know. I just do.
They’re not bad in gumbo…
*sits Maus down and makes him watch the concert video*
*Settles into the comfy chair with a beer and a big bowl of
squirrelseafood gumbo*Guess u can turn anyfing into gumbo……
*runs to Amazon to luk for resipess for maus gumbo*
*wispers*
Wile Maus is settlin in, we has sekritely dosed hiz gumbo wif ‘Xtra Flamin Sew Hot U Want 2 Cut Ur Tung Owt’ hot sause….
And put “Love Story” in the DVD player.
now now! busyness befour fun! he hasta watch
da ‘No Nomming Rodints’ consurt nawt sekkund!
Leeza – Code M.
gotcha, and backatcha
Sum peepls puts dem in Brunswick stoo, too…
o hai skwirrlgrrl, pleez donut goes tu TTI, expeshully iffn sumwun haz invytin yu ober fur dinner:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/07/dining/07squirrel.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink
Dis applyz ownly iffn yuz gray skwirrl. Dere be no trabel advyzery fur red skwirrlz, ai finkso.
that wus a funny artikal, Moe
Fank goodness leeza is saef heer n cheeseland!
bedz an bwekfast
digging a hole took to long
No wun wull ebber fyned him
At leest till dey neckst cleen teh room
I has Ur cement shooz ready
Yu saw nuffin, rite?
it depends on da quality of your tuna!
Ownlee teh fynest fur mai littlol phlonquais, ob corse! Restling awl dose Rabid Weesuls intu teh cayge wus no meen feet!
Daz rite, boss. Don see nuffin nebber.
* unwraps extry speshul toona – teh fresh kynd *
.
Ah, AngelPlume – dere yu is. Nao, whyle ai is awf finding mai nowsmint banner (ai no can member ware ai lefted eet last!) plz tu gib us a run down ob teh Boofs yu has gibbed owt at teh Safareh Park so far, fankies.
Ai wuz spozd tu be keeping trak?
.
Umm, awl teh rekwest forms ar fyled rite heer…sumware *rummage*
*sneeks in an takes nyce fresh toona and gips bo AngelPlume*
Boop!
Whut? Hay! Wayt! O, wai du ai bothur…? Ai gnu LCB wus up tu sumfing…
.
“Heers yur lolmas bonus” she sez
“Wai nawt get a phlonquais?” she sez
“Yu wheel nebber has tu werk agen” she sez
“Dey is nebber layzee” she sez
“Yu wheel be grate adn powerfloof” she sez
“Whut cud go rong?” she sez…
Fanks, gammacat *nom-nom-nom*
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Lessee, dere wuz princessmu wiff her fud preparashun boof, adn anudder wiff caterpilollar races (ambercat mebbe? lemme see, teh form shud be rite heer…), adn the troll-dunking boof u wer tawkin tu bluesfan abowt. Didja get anee confirmashuns on wut we wud be dunkin, and wether bluesfan wud run it?
sea GP, eberyfing is fine!
Boop!
Nose, aifinkso wii kneads teh bolunteers tu beh dipped adn BF nebber rly bolunteered tu run eet… O, taht remindifies meh – MAUS? Maus? Ware yu is? Ai kneads tu tawk tu yu abowt getting an extry large tub ob debreefing flooid…
How large? Do you want a particular color or flavor?
I can give you a
exhorbitantgood lease rate on the Debriefing Cart too. And then you would need to hire someone to operate it. I think the going rate is $Elebenty perminutehour.Maus, has yu bin taking lessons from GP?
he’s allreddy in trubbel for knee-fair-eus
purpoises and xtorting da birthdai fairee!
Stai gud Maus!
*Ahem*
GP takes lesson from ME, thank-you-very-much…
*Ponders*
I wonder how much do you know about these things. Gammacat, I think you may need to be debriefed…
*runsawaiwifkwikness*
Ah Maus, dere yu is… umm, ai has no pertikular prefrunce awn teh kolor oar flaybur adn fankies, but but but ai no kneads teh cart, juss a hyooge tub tu dunk ppl in.
.
* holds up bebbeh panda * hao mush yu sai eet wus agen?
The panda? I have no idea. I believe it is illegal to sell them though. I think I shall inform the local constabulary…
ZING! Well done, old chap!
Fanks! Did I get teh plummy acksent right?
mmm plums… huh? whut? O, aifinkso yu is kneaded down fred…
erm…..ai wuz jus maikin a sugguesshun fer teh troll-dunkin boof butt ai gezz ai cud runit fer a lil wile aneewai. ai wil haz tew goe tew wurk taht affernoon, unles ai haz been laid-off by tehn, fings r nawt lukin gud at wurk. sorree, taht wuz teh depressin, butt pleez tew keep feengerz, toez, pawz, eyez an aneefing else u cahn fink uv crossed fer meh an mai frends/cowurkers.
.
ai nevver runned a boof befower butt ai cud tri.
{{{BF}}} ai has ebberyfing crossed – is nawt so eezee tu type liek tihs!
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Phlonquais…? PHLONQUAIS! Plz tu maek shore bluesfan has ebberyfing she kneads, otay?
*crosses tayles wif BF for luck*
{{bluesfan473}}
wi all has dat wurree deez daze, aifinkso.
iz troo, ai kno fings r bahd awl ober. tehy telled uz las Fridegg taht tehre wuz gunna bee a lay-off (akshully tehy sed “laybor redukshun”, ai gess tehy fink that duzznt sownd sew bahd) butt tehy doan kno yet how mennee er whoo iz affekted. Ai wish they wudnt sai aneefing til awl teh detayles r wurked owt, ai reely haz no idee if ai am affekted but ai haz a beeg skared. an naow mai eyez r leekin agin. BWWWAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
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Fanks fer ur gud wishez cheezfrends, ai amma sorree tew depressify tihs happee plaice
Fanks, BF, adn best ob luck tu u. Mai wurk has bin duin sum “belt-titening” laytlee tu, adn sins most ob teh uvver IT folks be in Ohio, ahm a littul conserned mahseff. Ai don wanna leeb ware ai libs iffn dey ask me tu moob, adn iffn ai dont den dey cud juss say bai-bai.
Speaking ob wich, ahm at wurk rite nao, so ai bettur keep up wif produktibity…
not at all BF! dis is bestest place to cum wif
sadtayle. den all da cheezfrens hug and snorgle
(and maybe even boop!) until you feel betta!
Boop!
*hands BF tissue for leekin eyez*
{{{{{{{{{{bf473}}}}}}}}} Ai pray fer u nao! Ai knoes but ai knoes ai cant doo ennyfing but gibs u a boop, hug and snorgle. *hedbumps & purrs* Fings bad awl ober but ai knoes hao u can surbibe if worstest happens. Ben dere, dun dat. {{{{{{{{{{{bf473}}}}}}}}}}}
OKAYs BF, I has muh Eyes crosst and muh Tees dotted.
Yup, is me wiv teh CaterpiLOLar Ray Sing: Fur juss elebenty monees, doe naytid to teh aminol chariddy ob yur choyse, upto tree peeps atta tym can be ray sing teh caterpiLOLars. Plees donut be bettin awn tihs event as we donut has a gamboLOLing lysense
iz Upfi particimapating?
*pricks up feelers*
wot is dis? Ai dunt noes nuffink ab00t it! Sounds fun, though – as long as it is NAWT me who has to race. AI’m in gud shape at teh moment (whaddaya mean – round IS a shape!). Ai’ll gladlee be patron saint or glam diva or wotebber u cud needs me 4.
Squsemee pleez GP but will der be a ‘Whack-a-troll” game? I luvs poundin on dem lill troll heds wen dey pops up.
Snerk
Ai noes dat cweenmj and gremlin (or wazzit gammacat?) capshured a troll a fjoo days ago and put him in a cayge. So yesh, dere will be a possiblolity to play wif teh trolls…
Is not gonna wurk fer long. Tehy vacumm
Take dat, rugrat!
but I is a rugcat!
Yah, but u ratted owt mah gud fren Lennee, so nao uz gotta pay teh price, rugrat.
eben if I makes Uz an offah U can’t refooze?
O yeh? Wut u got dat will maek up fur gettin mah fren lokked up in teh slammer fur teh rest ob hims lyf? Anser dat wun, rugrat.
how bout a year’s supply of catnip
I will gibs U mah nip stash, is deh freshest
I pwomise
an akshully Lenny not sush a gud kitteh
himz had deh hots fur Ur girlkitteh
I akshully didz U a favah
Hims wuz hittin on Fluffy? U better not be lyin abowt dat, rugrat, oar teh nips. Dey better be fresh. Ahl let u off dis tyme wiff just a few hedbats *bat-bat-bat*.
Nao get me dat nip adn be kwik abowt it!
Here is Ur nips it ar from Midge’s
an I is cat not a rat
and Uz bettah chek on Fluffy
I tinked I saw herz wid deh tomkitteh nextdoor.
burgerz tu yew!!!!!
yew carpitbaggr yew!
Hay, go eezy awn Gweedo. Himz noo to teh famlee.
Fluffy sleepz wif teh
fishiesuglee carpet naow*snerk*
keep Fluffy, buree the uglee carpet
Ai sekund dat!
sleepz wif teh dust mites
At leest tuxie kitteh alreddy dressed foar himz fyoonerul.
mafia kitteh is beree cute
Is U feline bettah?
Meh, so-so.
Fangs foar axkin.
Missd teh groop hug on teh last lol, gibs u wun nao…
{{{rhsb}}}}
Fanks, AngelPlume.
*joins in for yet anuther groop hug for rhsb* hug hug hug hug….sigh
*has a ponder*
rhsb- duz ur plehs latelee have anyfing to do wif ur upcoming natal day?
**puts paw to chin, hazza ponder**
Nawt fink so. Mebbe. I dunno.
{{rhsb}} hope are antics holp.
I can put stickers on GP again if you like
just keep teh gloo away from Maus!
*hollas upthred*
hay GP… u missin any hares?
won, tu, seben, fore, elebenty, hunnert, seben, free… umm, ai is nawt shore, rly…
whut happened tu yur tayl? adn ware is yur googlee eyed Rabid Weesuls stikker whut ai did gib yu?
.
Or stick GP to someone again…
*narrows eyes*
stop narrowing my eyes skwirrlgrrl!
Boop!
**wonders wut Mafia Cat’s skedyool luuks lyk foar teh rest of teh week**
Hims skedul iz nao emptee fureber
rhsb ai wuz layte fer teh hugfest, wil u akcept belayted huggz?
{{{{{{{{{{rhsb}}}}}}}}}}
Fanks, BF.
I awlwayz akcept hugz!
Oooo, ai wunner hoo yoo cood wanna “hit”? Hmmmm? Ai jes don kno…
Teh liszt iz growin daylee.
Yesh, butt (hee hee) wii noe hoo iz nawt sekund awn it. Mebbeh wii kan maek a deel….Ai iz mobing n wif mai Muvver hoo kan b bery…ummm…trying. Ai gibs u owlabai iffn u gibs mii wun. Hokey dokey? {{{{rhsb}}}}
ROFLcopter..!!
Dis wat u get for taking mai cheezburger.
Gawdfadder kitteh sez…Ai haz dizpozed uv this boddee fer u. Sumdai ai wil axe U fer a favor an u wil dew it wifowt kwestioning.
Marc Antonee discovers Cleocatra in teh carpet
Marc sez, How ya doin?
Sweepin stuffs unner teh rug, ur doin it rite.
I’m not ded yet! I’m getting bettah!!
gerroffmee… can’t … breeve!!!
Huzbinz is awlwayz complaynin abowt how u smuvverin dem.
.
.
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If u kin still heer ‘em complayinin, U NAWT PRESSIN HARD ENUFF AWN TEH PILLOL!
ROFLMBO!!! reminds meh neber tu getz awn yur baaaad side rhsb!!! Yoo reeely r a redhead!
Bof ov u gotz mii laffing sew hadr mah floofy belleh hurtz! Elebentee zillion cheezburgers!!!!!!!!! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!
‘Ere, he sez he’z nawt ded!
Yesh he iz!
I’m nawt!
Wel, he wil bee soon, he’z very ill.
I’m gettin better!
No ur nawt, u’ll bee stone ded inna minnit
an so awn an so awn!
Teh Holy Grail ref….FTW!!! @@@@@@@
Saem fur Duffy!!! @@@@@@@@
I’z nawt dead!
heh … neether iz duffy i sees nao
… we must haz teh same disorder
* GP climbs awn soapbox, taps micrololphone adn arranges pet carriers *
.
Ohai Cheezfrends, ai has brotted sum littlol frends tu meet yu todai!
.
* holds up sad faised littlol puppeh *
Yu nose, fur ownlee pennies a dai, dis cyoot littlol doggeh can has gushifuds…
.
* holds up hongry littlol kitteh *
…adn fur onwlee a phew moar pennies, wii can awlso feed dis littlol bundle ob lub.
.
* holds up extry floofy bebbeh panda *
OMCC – lookit! lookit taht fais! Fur ownlee won hunnert munnies, wii can bild a sanc… cinq… saif plais fur awl teh bebbeh pandas tu lib adn dey can nom nom nom awl teh bamboo dey can!
.
* holds up poysinus Troll *
EW EW EW! Stai Bakk! Tihs won donut smell so gud!
.
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Otay, nao taht yur harts arr sufishuntlee meltified ai is teh pleezed tu nowse taht adbance teeket sales fur teh nawt sekkund Cheezland Safareh Park is nao teh awn sale!
.
Oh yesh yesh yesh! Fur ownlee Elebenty Munnies eech (haff pryce fur teh kidlets) YU can has a berry speshul gyded tour ob teh Safareh Park! Dere wheel be zibits ob awl yur fayborit Cheezland Creetures (wib sum surpryses!), gaymes, noms, soobeneers adn EBEN wadder slydes!!!1!!!1!
.
Awl munnies raysed bai teh Safareh Park wheel go tu teh Cheezland Animlol Shelturs so teh littlol animlols * holds up bebbeh panda agen * can has gushifuds, crunklifuds, blankies, toys adn ebberyfing else dey kneads!
.
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“Wowzers, GP! Taht is full ob win adn ossim! Ai wants tu halp teh littlol animlols tu – ai can sell promushunal T-Shurts oar mebbeh bobblol hedded lolcatburglars oar ‘Ai nose Maus!’ pin badges? plzplzplz can ai, huh?”
Ob corse yu can! Mai Phlonquers Phlonquais’ Phlonquais AngelPlume is in charge ob teh Fund Raysing so plz tu sea hur adn yu wheel be gibben a spawt tu set up!
.
“Gaymes, GP? Whut kynd ob gaymes?”
oh oh oh is teh bestest part! Affer yu has been arownd awl teh zibits, wai nawt unwind wib a nyce relaxing gayme oar tu? skwirrlgrrl wheel be letting yu smush as manee Ebil Cocomonuts as yu can – plz tu sea hur fur moar deetayls! mebbeh YU cud run an otter gayme? Plz tu sea AngelPlume, gib hurr sum Toona adn yu is awl set tu go!
.
“but but but, wen is tihs um-maze-ing plaice opening GP?”
Well, probiding ai can get awl teh zibits reddy adn mai layzee phlonquais gets awl teh gaymes reddy adn PrincessMu gets awl teh deelishus adn nootrishus fuds heer awn thyme, wii can has grand opening awn teh 21nd Janyooairy! Aifinkso awn teh 4am Cheezthyme LOL (is 5pm TTI adn Merica is sumware inbetween, uh huh, yesh)
.
Nao, teh Tour Bus wheel moobe tu a gnu zibit ebbery 15 minutes adn a bit layter awn teh cayblol car rydes ober a berry berry speshul seekret zibit wib a berry berrsy speshul guest tour guide wheel start adn teh gaymes arr open AWL DAI LAWNG!
.
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So, rollol up adn bai yur teekets nao! Free bobblol hedded Guinness Piggeh Akshun Figger wib teh nawt sekkund 20 teekets sowld! [Offur nao stended bai poplolar deemand tu nawt sekkund 50 teekets!]
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BRAKING GNUS!!!elebenty!!! Mick ‘teh lips’ Jaggeh wheel be running a stawl at teh Safareh Park!!!! Hii sed sumfing abowt feeding teh whirrld oar sumfing * shrugs * ai is shore eet wheel be teh inneressing whuteber hii dus, yesh.
GP!
Boop!
no yu using bebbeh pandas for nafaireus purpoises?
BOOP! Oh yesh yesh yesh ai has a slekshun ob sordid bebbeh animlols bak dere; dey get cyooter ebbery dai!
.
Oh, adn sry cheezfrends is NAWT teh 4am Cheezthyme LOL * faispaw * is teh 6am Cheezthyme LOL – whutebber thyme eet ees ware yu is nao, is sayme thyme next weeeeeeeeeeeeeeek weeeek weeeek, otay? get it? got it? gud?
How u bebbeh pandas for nafaireus porpoises? Dolfins mebbe, but pandas??
is nawt eezee, johnnyface, lemme tell yu! but but but is pawseebull; deetayls ob hao tu yoose increesinglee cyoot bebbeh animlols can be fownd in heer:
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* hands copy ob “Hao tu yoose bebbeh animlols nufareeuslee” bai lolcatburglar *
Boss, ware u gets bebbeh pandas? Dey b endanjerded, u knoz, adn beri hard tu getz teh bebbehs tu gro up. U gotz panda speshulist on teh payroll? Ai dont see nuffin bowt dat on teh buks. Adn warez teh bamboo?
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Ai fink u better bring demz bak befoar we all getz in trubblol.
.
Just sayin.
U think it beez teh hard to get teh bebbeh panders to gro up, u can imagine then how unpossible it is to get teh Cheezpeeps to gro up!
Just sayin’.
*hands out t-shirts say ‘cleverly disguised as a grown-up’*
*takes t-shirt sayin ‘not so cleverly disguised as a grown-up’*
Dun woree, wii has a large raynge ob animlol eggsperts bakk dere; teh bebbeh pandas is awn lown frum teh zoo in Chyna ware dey wus bornded nawt lawng ago – yu kin sea pics ob dem awn mai profyle.
:snerk:
.
Ai resemblol dat remark!
U can’t yooze mynah burds `coz its ill eaglol 2 use mynahs fur nefariuss poipoizis
snerk!
gud wun Annipuss!
Boop!
’tis a cardinlol off-fence
Ai fout ai awlreddy byed mai teeket…howsomeebber, WAER IZ TEH FREE
BOBBLOL HEDDED GUINNESS PIGGEH AKSHUN FIGGER?!? R U SHUR DER
BEZ AKSHUN FIGGERS OR IZ TIHS A NAFAIREUS PLOY TEW CELL TEEKETS?
***scuze meh fer yelloling, but GP’s micrololphone iz steel awn***
*wispurs* u can get dem at teh ty booteek, yno.
yesh yesh, but but but aifinkso Serendipity nebber gawt won wib teh teeket coz mai layzee phlonquais wus noware tu be fownd!
.
* hands bobblol hedded GP Akshun Figger *
*gigglols helplessly*
* applies moar creem *
you shudn’t narrow yur eyes so mulch
ai nose! but but but yu shud trai bean a Phlonquais tu HER fur a dai! O teh Hyooge Manatee!
*no comment*
FAIL!
Has Mick seed yu abowt a boof yet?
.
Nao, wii has no thyme fur dese sillee gaymes!
Wut? Ai didnt say nuffin!
Adn no, Mick has not stoppd bai tu rekwest a boof. Oar wud he need a stayj?
HAALLOO!!! Little Cat!!!
.
Gimme one of those forms, man! I wanna open a booooth, yeah!
Heer ya go, wiff a pen frum teh ty booteek dat akshullee wurks.
.
Wut kynd ob gaym u gonna run in ur boof, adn hao big duz it need tu be? U shoor u want a gaym boof, oar wud u ravver skejool tym on teh prezentashun stayj?
Nah, man! I’m gonna sell some munchies to all the people there!
.
Yeah, it’s gonna ROCK!
.
* hands back completed forms * Alright dudes and dudettes, I gotta go get the ingreeeedients! Catch ya later!
.
* strut pout strut pout strut pout *
*swoon*
oh, puh-leeze! whut has hii eben ritten awn dose forms?
.
lettuce sea…
“gonna feed the people there, yeah!”
“just need a table & some chairs”
“oh, and a hot plate”
.
OMCC! He’ll poysin us awl!
Ohai AngelPlume
GP sed ai cud be in charj of teh mussik (see sum freds frum yesturdai). Well, akshilly he donut say ai cud be in charj of teh mussik butt (*snerk*) he donut sez ai cuddint. So ai is in charj.
Ai wil hab teh prufeshunal DJ boof nd iorlso a cataroke baah fur ennyboddee hoo wantz to sing. Send me teh formz in elebentuplikat plskthxbai.
O hai, kimkiwi! How u is?
I postified a link a little further (heh, heh) down below to “Swinging’ Safari” I thinks this should be teh offishul hold music and piped in everwhares in teh Safareh Park when other stuffs isn’t playing. Don’t u?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnrZcFRufWM
Ohai LCB ai iz gud. Ai haz bin reedink teh comentz nd habing teh mutch happitayle. Yew iz ful of teh funnee nd win nd ossim.
Ai donut noes if yew is on teh faysebuk but ai has a grup corled “I Love Shiny Things” – iffin yew is intristid ai be happi to haev yew joyne.
Ai not noes iffin yew haz seen teh song list ai gibbed to GP – tehre ar stil moar to put on it, butt (tee hee) wil defnitlee put teh Swingin’ Safari on hi plae.
Boi buffin cloath not gettin mutch yoose heer, so iffin yew wont to boro it, yew be welcum.
Did I hear someone call??
Hugh! O Hugh!!! Ur kneeded!
*swimswimswimswim* *gasppantgasppant*
♫ Here I come, to save the day! ♫
Ohai Hugh! Hao yu i… wayt? whut’s taht noyse?
.
DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!
Hugh G Manatee! Yu was won a pryze!
.
Taht’s rite! As yu is GP’s WON HUNNERTH frend, yu gets tu choose between tihs lubberly set ob faux gold playted shwimp cocktayl forks, OAR yu can choose whut is in tihs bawx…
.
Hugh, teh choyce is yurs!
Teh bocks! Pik teh bocks!
No! Pik door nombur 3!!
Oh, the decisions! Oh the agony! I’ll take the box
MonteGP!**Whisspurrrz:
Psst!!!! GP!!!! AngelPlume b a guy…..
dis b himz profile
http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/pictures-by-ksollazzo/
sillee cween… AngelPlume be a littlol grrl kitteh… she owns a man type hoomin, aifinkso, yesh.
Correct, GP, my littul Angelina (aka AngelPlume) is a cyoot littul girl-kitteh.
.
Ai lets her do awl teh talking, but she duz get me tu do most ob teh typing.
Nd teh heaby lifting.
hehe GP maekz hims big speechez but hims nawt bodder tew chek teh deetaylz.
Wii still lubs yew GP
* makes notes *
“Canajun Basemint Cat… wib wings?”
“Is grrl, aifinkso…”
“Lubbs meh…”
“Has littlol red bow”
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Ohai! Hao yu is?
Ai iz gud. It naise tew meet yew
Yesh ai iz a gurl an mai fursona iz black iv wings she teh onlee wun ob her kine tew has dem. Yus she wares teh red bow rownd hur nek. But she iz kittun
{{{Taya}}} is nyce tu meeting yu tu! Is yu gnu tu cheezland?
Noes ai iz nawt noo tew Cheezland, butt ai has onlee bean postin heer fur a few dais.
*rubs aginst GP in frenlee greetin wiv mai tail awl happitail in teh airs*
* snorgle snorgle *
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Oh well den… welcum, welcum, welcum!
“Guinness Piggeh Akshun Figger”
*LCB laffsandlaffs until she… cries at teh oxymoron*
*joynes LCB ROFL*
*hands LCB tisshew incaseof dripps*
welll, da hed dus bobblol! dats an akshun
*takes tisshew offered by gammacat, blows nose daintily*
*HARNK!*
Yes, teh hed bobblols, but to get it started u has to gibs it a good hedbatting. Whut? U want me to demonstratify this for u? Gladly! GP!, come here for a sec, plz.
*settlols down to watch hedbatting*
* narrows eyes *
*applies anti-wrinlol creem to piggeh’s eyes, commences hedbatting*
Hay! plz tu NAWT be hedbatting teh Rodints!
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Nao… ware is yur elebenty munnies? huh? Yu is nawt getting in fur teh free, yu nose… adn dere is NO WAI yu is getting won ob dese mowst sort affer bobblol hedded Guinness Piggeh Ackshun Figgers eider…
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Nao, fork eet ober!
yu furgot twe hold up da cyute an floofee bebbeh animolol, GP
thot for teh day:
duz a really gud belch kwalify as ‘ackshun’?
Define “really gud”.
a really gud belch is one that can be herd over teh noise of a large crowd… as in, a safari park openining…
*luks pointedlee at teh piggeh*
Ahem, ai wheel has yu no ai is nomming teh hell thee fuds rite nao… uh huh, yesh… * lukks arownd nerbussly *
but but but wut r u drinking???
and WUT IS THIS?
*pulls teh bag of pork craklins from behind GP’s cowch cushun*
Umm… nuffing… * crunch crunch crunch *
is dat Captain Vegetable?
* sigh * ai weesh ai had sum IRL pork scratchings…
* ponders… * umm, no. but but but eet does kwalify as reason to sai “Ack” adn den reason tu Shun summedy, aifinkso.
Maybe if you light a Zippo as he’s belching. That much methane should cause SOME sort of reaction…
Ahem. We has been over this before. Does I need to make good on my thret to take my backyard back?
*grabs edge of backyard, prepares to yank it out from under Safareh Park site like a tablolcloth*
* slow, sad hedshake *
.
O deer, has yu been at Mick’s pills agen? taht is teh edge of yur unnerwares yu has grabbed – member whut teh nyce judge sed abowt doing taht in public? huih?
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Heer, yu must be teh tyred… sit in yur chair, put tihs blankie ober yur nees adn ai wheel bring yu sum nyce Applol Joose, still warm (juss hao yu liek eet)
Well, mabye ur rite.
O hay, can we pipe this music in over teh loudnessspeakers at teh Safareh Park? It is teh happy toon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnrZcFRufWM
* shimmeys bakk intu ruum *
der der der… der der der…
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Heer yu go! * hands LCB glass *
*takes glass*
Oooh, still nice and warm.
*HICCUP*
*Spills still-warm applol joose all over GP*
Whoopsie.
EW EW EW!!! Ebbery thyme! Does yu has prollem wib holding fings???
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* lukks arownd fur towel… *
Sheesh! Such a fuss over a little still-warm applol joose.
I think I sawr some noo towels on teh rack in ur baffroom.
Ah yesh, nao… dare ai wipe teh still warm applol joose (juss has lcb lieks eet) awf wib teh USAFT…? Aifinkso ai wud get hedbats fur ebber! but but but ai is nawt yoosing mai HDT eider… pfft! ai juss teak a shower!
Yew noes, Maus is reallee de onlee wun heer certimified tew dew debreefings.
.
Juss sai-en
Exsqueeze me, but I is teh one what certimafied him.
Still, he does it bestest.
BTW, BDM, has u ever heared teh Debriefing Song?
Mai ‘polojeez! Let meh gib dem tew yew! Ai nawt beh noes-in dis part ub cheezland historee!
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Noes, ai did nawt noes dere is a debreefing sawg. Must Maus singify eet before him debreefs sumwon? Oar during da processes.
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Kan onlee plai a few moar minutes… den i can haz boifren!
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/09/23/funny-pictures-all-i-hear-iz-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah/#comment-449684
Boifrents is usually moar better than songs. Axe me next time u see me and I’ll dig up teh song for u.
Whut….u buried it ???
For safeskeeping, yes.
Why? Whare u puts ur songs?
Why,on cassette taypes,uv course!
Ai herd it wuz teh berry latest technology !
Wait, whut?
Whare is that stoopy piggeh? He telled me these elebenty-track tapes he selled me was teh latest tecknologies!
* scampersawaiwibakwikness *
Elebenty track taypes ??
Were doze b4 or after 78’s ??
Don’t run when ur still teh wet from ur shower! Ur gonna — *crash and breaky noises* — U crashed into Mick’s beer-can pyramid!
no wai man! 45’s ar da weigh to go
*goes back to hedbanging to Barbie Girl*
BRRR! * shake shake shake * stoopyrockstar
*giglols unkontrololablee*
Kitteh sez hims nawt ded yet; jes moastlee ded frum beeying soe muches kyuoote;
(Awlsoe sez uvver kitteh haz bin wautchyng WAY tuu muches ov “Teh Sohprahnoes”, adn taht hims shuud stauppit awlreddeey!!!!)
After teh nip deal had goed bad, Joey Teh Cat knoo that Tuna-Can Tom had been tawkin to teh rong peepul. Boss Fluffy gaev teh go-ahead to sweep Tom under teh rug
dis carput is noice and warms and offers teh protectshons from teh nvading homo-voyuer mkitteh wif hiz latent subconcienchus wyshez, ewe. ai doez not want yer affectionz or oponion, do nawt waynt. yewz haz been wayrned. u wudnt lykes teh dunecat wen hez a case of teh angreez, hez onry getz teh smarter.
test
Don’t mess wid the don kitteh.
oh, noes! dat bright eyed tuxy face!
Brain splort.
Blargh. I r ded.
OH NOEZ!!! Deh donky b down!!!!
Doan b ded!!!!!
I saving u!!!
I pullz in deh CCC wif deh auto majik brayz reaktifier!!
*Turnz on deh auto majik brayz reaktifier adn deh braynz b
*kollektified, kleened adn replaysed in deh donkee hed.
* deh speshullee made Donky CHRG b installed and tayped on.
Ok, u drink dis kumfurting tee and nom on a chokklit possim.
U b awl tukked up in a floofee blankee.
Sitting heer in deh splort lounge adn no peeking at the tuxy kittehz!!!
*peers arown and weaklee brays…*
is dexter the cat?
l33t
lololol
As i just said
lololol
awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!