I’z got ten reasons

I’z got ten reasons why is NOT bathtime
awlso mah manual sayz i iz self kleening.
picture: Pixel Packing Mama. lol caption: zaywop
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I’z got ten reasons why is NOT bathtime
awlso mah manual sayz i iz self kleening.
picture: Pixel Packing Mama. lol caption: zaywop
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

*Touches kitteh nose8
BOOP!
Um… kitteh? Claws not grip so gud on teh fourmika. Just sayin…
Dey werk bedder awn hooman skin…
yeahh they kinda do work better on hoomin skin cuz u no it iznt gunna work on granite
but demz will gripz veree nicely on Ur skin
GMTA 2k!
yes annipuss!
I ar going fur lunch!
U canz joyn me wid a tasty bevridge of Ur choyce
Iz neerlee dinner tiem heer. Ai muss go an kukk sumfing soon.
La Luz iz gonna gets a baff dis week week week.
I can has fourmika hands…and face…and arms…
Injeh is also due fur her baff
mebbeh neggst weekend
I has to trim deh pointehs furrst
baff? is yur insewerants up to dayte?
haff you tryed da kitteh wipes?
I also heerd of a automatic kitteh baff
(issa bocks wiff sprayers. i culd nebber do dat
to my kittehs)
I gibs mah Injeh baff once ebry few munffs
Herz furz is dense an litter gets trapped in itz
I brushes her ebry week
but deh baffs ebry cupple of munfs help too.
Ai habnt had tu gib Angelina a baff yet, adn hopefulee nebber will. Lukilee shez teh short-hair self-kleening typ. She lubs tu roll arown in teh dirt, but is alwayz kleen wen she comes in fur dinnerz, adn ai hardlee get aneefing in teh brush wen ai brushez her.
.
Seein as she duzzn eben lyk bein pikked up, ahm shoor she wud be feerse in teh baff, sins ai knoz she duz nawt lyk teh wadderz.
I hab a kitteh liek Angelina. She neber will needz teh baff. Butts, teh otter two habs diffrent fur and skin, and dey needz one.
Fink ov hao much tiem we wud save iffs we didn’t hab to gibs ourseffs a baff!
o hai two_kittehs, wai duzint yew brush yur kitteh ebbery dai? mebbe her nawt need baffs at awl den? mah pip haded teh lawng hayres, an ebbery kynd ub rubbish getted stukk innit, an ai yuzd tu brush himz ebbery dai. he lubbed it!!
.
him got baff ownly iffn sumfink stikky (liek wet mud) got intu hiz fur.
She does get brushed everyday and she loves it, but it is
impossible to get all the litter dust off of her.
she is not long haired but her fur is very thick and dense
and she is not the cleanest of kittehs and I only give
her a bath once every couple of months when she starts smelling
like the litter dust. She tolerates the baths, she is miffed
fur a couple of hours that’s all. It also reduces her shedding
and hairballs and helps with my asthma.
The other cat on the other hand never needs baths.
has anyone else tried Breeze litter pellets? breezeforcats.com
They are harder for the cats to track, and there is no dust.
It is smellier, but we aren’t vacuuming the house every
few hours.
I use Swheat Scoop (http://swheatscoop.com.) It’s made from wheat, and is virtually smell-free! It doesn’t track far and I vacuum about once every 1-2 days, just by the litter box… I love it!
ah, nao ai unnerstans
Mai kittahs get teh baffs ebbery cuple of munfs too. Teh reggular brushins and baffs reely do halps wif teh athsma. Dey iz teenage in kittah tiem and alwez gettin into everyfing ennywayz. They don’t liek it berry much, but ai needz to be able to breeth if I is gonna go work to maek monee to buy them teh gushifuds!
Horspital on speed dial…Medical purrsonal on stand bai…Elebenty types ov bandages outside teh splash zone…full face helmut…
.
And dat iz why u gots to plan in advance fur Cleen Cat Day.
i iz chikkin. taht iz why my kittehs only get baffs wen tehy iz covered wif Bad Cat Poo.
Wat tiem in teh morning duz u gibs dem teh baffs?
Duz u wate fur teh sun to cum up?
I waitz for teh sekkund Toosday of teh week.
on the 30th of Feb?
when the sun is aligned with my neighbor’s cousin’s birdbath
An Joopitur alinez wif Mars?
i gibs tehm teh baffs at 4:30 in teh morning, soon az i seez tehy haz teh Bad Cat Poo on tehm, before tehy kanz hied unner teh bed.
haz only happend wunse, so far (nok on wud)
Iz tehre such a thing as Gud Cat Poo?
well, taht wuld being poo frum a gud cat hoo not comes into owr yard an triez to boss teh rezident kittehs arownd an take over teh plase.
carful Maus! yous wanna clous up view
ob da pointee ends?
BOOP!
as soon as i’m finnished streeccchhing i’m gonna…
*yaaaawwwnn*…
BOOP!!
Haz u got hiccups, Maus?
*Touches anni’s nose*
BOOP!
maawm! Maus is booping kitteh noses!
*Touches gamma’s nose twice*
BOOP! BOOP!
*patz Maus onna hed*
Bop!
Ow! Watchit wif teh claws!
Mebee Maus seed Michael J Fox on Scrubs rerun?
Nope.
*Touches Romeow’s nose*
BOOP!
*sneeks in*
*puts choclit puddin on hur nose*
*Touches Leeza’s nose*
BOOP!
What’s this stuff? Ahhhh… brown-nosing again, eh?
check yer glasses, the puddin’ most likely green. Pistachio doanchanoo.
*luks up hop fullee*
puddin? wer?
at least………..ahm hopin’ it’s pistachio.
maibee sum budda scotch pudding also?
LOL
just got image of ad campain for Buddha Scotch!
HAY!
itz CHOKLIT.
u guiz are such… GUIZ.
“Reach new states of Enlightenment with…
Buddha Scotch!
Hey! I Notta guiz!
welll, i ar en engineer. oniraree guiz, maybe?
ah! well.. I was refferin to teh two of them up tehre who r insinutin my puddin is something other tahn FUD…..
and I made it wif real milk too, not teh instint stuffs!
Interuptink this rolliking thred wif a messaj fur Dan!
.
jamamakitty
January 6th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
ohai peeps!! innybuddy seen Dan??
http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=3051246
.
An ohai, ebreewun. Sorree ai must miss awl teh phun!! Rillee bizzee day!
gammacat, if u gotted a ICHC profile, we wud know u wasn’t a gui!
Goodness! Duz we has a touchy today?
mmmm, real milk!
I tried to make butterscotch pudding once,
but i forgot that brown suger is supposed
to be packed into the measuring cup.!
noes, I jus playin.
did I sound touchy?
*Touches Maus’s nose*
BOOP!
workin on it! tryin to decide if I want to
keep the same user name
-my oranj fluff ball noes hubbeh is alpha cat,
but finks he is beta cat, which maykes me gamma!
no Maus, you is touch todai. we just
imitaytin you! (flattery and all dat stuff, yousno)
*touches Maus’s and skwirrlgrrl’s nose*
Boop! Boop!
*licks puddin off paw*
mmmmm….
Side note: I “boop” my gran-kitteh’s noses. They then lick their nose, once. I can do this literally for hours, and they never seem to tire of it.
they is just gettin a littul taste of maus.
I guess. They are two silly cats. I get to visit them this weekend. My SIL and I have the same birthday.
*BOOP* herd faintlee frm 0Spokn Mew Sick Stoody Yoes.
*tendrils test to see wot pitch it ’tis*
hey maus, my “BOOP” is ~A333 1/3 (i alwayz sing off key-no surprize dere, eh?)
wotz yrs?
I think I “boop” at about A3 or so. Hard to tell without a piano in my cubical
Wot?! you no can haz purrrr fekt pitch?
Sry. No purrfekt pitches. I has gud “relative pitch”. Tahts how I wuz able to figger owt (after a few minutes) taht I “boop” around A3.
Waahh, Maus tuched mai noze – hoep him din’t get frossbyte.
*tinytendrilz fwipfwipfwip a noze warmer fur annipuss*
Yew shud puttin doze in teh TyBooteek, aifinkso.
shur! i will fwip up a batch in sordid colours (Europeen)
and cullerz (MerryKan)
*startz finking 0 crullerz. yum*
Ack Donut fink 0 dat. Fink 0 da Huge Manatee!!
Seems 2 be werkin – mai noze iz warmer naow!
An Ai aer prepaird 2 yooze dem
and ai r prepared to heer u screem.
like a litlol gurrl
thos are vewwy gud raisons!
GMTA!
so letz be reasonabul abowt this…
Ai getz no baff an u get 2 keep ur skin unshreddid
an ai kin showz you awl of dem VERREE kloaselee iffin u dun leeve ryte naow.
Mah pointeh endz
let me show U dem
dese mah weaponz of purrsonal destruckshunz
an I ar not fraid to use dem
for self defense
so back off hairless monkeh
tell mii moar wile ai streeeetttccchhhh. …..
yoga kitteh praktises stretches wid deep belly breffs
while simultaneously intimidating Uz wid himz pointeh endz
iz downwardkitten pozishun
dis blankee is MINE!!!
I ar ready fur mah pawdicure
potty-cure?
Wat iz dis potty-cure u speeks ov?
no silleh is pedicure but for mah pawz
If nawt gib kitteh pawdicure, urine trubble, aifinkso!
Iffs mah kitteh iz usin teh potty – I doan wants to cure him ov dat!
jus mayk shur dey onlee flush onse!
I heers storees of kittehs who flush
to watch the wattah swirl!
Iz bad wen dey use too muchly paypah.
clogged toylet!
do not want!
Looks like kitteh can’t count. I only sees 8 pointy endz there.
U may not be able to see mah duclawz
but ar U sure that U wants to risk feeling demz
on Ur delicate skin
just aksing
an I du claws ur cowch wif dem. n i du claw teh doggie. n i du claw teh drapes…
Cats have 10 claws in the front, 8 claws in the back. They’re there, they’re just on the sides of the paw you can’t see.
nor can you feel them when they scratch you, because those are only used for gripping when climbing and not striking
Good point–there may be 10, but if only 8 are used for striking, then there would still only be 8 reasons.
ehrm.. I sea onlee 8 raisons ¿?¿
Cuz him nawt smiling.
*kitteh raises hims lips and teh light glints off ov 2 moar reesons*
*eek*
And, dat iz ten reesons why u clippee teh nails a cuple days before u tawk bout baff club.
teh furst rule of baff club, is u do not talk about baff club!
How bout Cleen Cat Club?
Cans we tawk bout dat?
U can talk abowt it… but action, it may cost u!
even wif clipped nails, yous still need full bodee armour, aifinkso.
mi SIL tryed to gib her kitteh a baff, endded up wif claw up her nose!
Dat’s gonna leeb a mark.
Ackshully, gibbin fully-deklawed kitteh baff naw musch eezyur.
Dey still has teh teefs, an knoes how to uze dem!
rhsb, who still bares teh skars…
thoze r gud reezons, u win kitteh!
kitteh rule elbenty:
Kitteh alwaiz winz
so tru
ur point iz well taken, kitteh…all 10 of dem
Iz kitteh missin a claw awn himz rite paw, or iz my eies jes nawt fokusin rite?
nah, Vulcan-kitteh.
U libs long an prospurr if u nawt do ennyfing dat nawt rekwires deployment of the poynty enz?
Well alrighty then!
heerz teh burfday fairy to wish a big HAPPEE BURFDAY to all teh cheezfrenz, lolfrenz, noofrenz, lurkurfrenz, an trolz hoo haz tehms burfdays today! an yestirday too!! i haz gotted a NOO AN IMPROOVD burfday list frum teh mangifisint cween mj, wif many more burfdays added!! an i see taht yestirday wuz being the burfday ob Widjitz!! an today iz teh burfday ob Flamemastercrash107 an Ninjoo!! (if yoo are habbing aburfday an yoo are not menshuned, or if i haz missd yor burfday, speek up heer to get yor burfday wishes too!
)burfday fairy haz bringed delishus hommaed burfday caeks in your favrit flavers wif fancy frostings shaped liek yor favrit kartoon karakterz, i skreem, frootsytootsy punch, poynty party hats wif pompoms on tehm, an goodie bags wif bownsy balls taht lite up wen tehy bownse, kandees, liddle kitteh-shaped puzzles wher yoo rolly rolly teh liddle ballz arownd to get tehm in teh holez, an puffy kitteh stikkers wif googly eyes!! an a swish ob teh burfday wand to make all yor wishes come troo!!
———-***¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжж٭٭*******¤¤¤¤жжжжж٭****
Oh burfday fairy, u r teh bestest.
*takes a kitteh shaped puzzle wif teh ballz inside*
*starts shakin teh puzzle*
*passes leeza teh cheeting maganet unner teh table*
*magnifies teh puzzle*
*teh little balls gets bigger and bigger*
*tehy brake out of teh game*
ooohh.. I finkso these wud make grate coconutt borkers for teh shy!!
An I got anuther 30 behine this smile…
oooo, that’s a good one.
.
sooo gotta remember that one.
O yeah, kitteh? Well I gots 26 reasons why it IS bafftime:
Aroma of kitteh is teh super-pleh
Beauty contest for kittehs is tomorrow and u is entered
Can’t tells whut ur original colors is anymoar
Dirt is all over teh dirt on ur dirty coat
Ew, whut u rolled in, kitteh?
F…
Fudge izznt fur playin wif
Greedee kitteh gotz teh fud in teh fur
“Halper” kitteh rolled in teh flour
J. . .
Just bekawz … ai sez so
Klingy-fings inna furz
Lotsa tanglols
Milk soakd in all ober
Nastee smellee stuff
Onlee wun fing gonna get dat owt
P…
Peeeee Yeewww
Quicher belly akin, yur hasing baff
Rust Rings
Stank, yew has it!!
T…
Too much rollin in …. ickee stuff
Unbearable stinkeez
Very stickee stuff in teh fur
W…
Wat haz u been rollin in?
Xtreemlee smellee
Yoo stink
Zoo liek smellz
ewe gotz 26 howeber iz rechoirs elebenty^elebenty. dis kitteh heres iz smell gewd aktshully alvo problemly betur wif greentopped boffle.
furz is matted and durty
Goggie, U smells like one
Hairballz beez reduced if Uz is not ingesting Ur furz
I…
Ink on paws is not a good thing
Jeeez you is stinkee!
Kan’t sneek up on anyfing iffin dey smell you coming
L…
Littrs iz in ur furs an toeses
Makin mudee printz all ober de house
Nobodee wants to pet u
O…
Mah faymus shredders will getz u ifn u trai tew eben gibs meh a baf! 10! Cownt’em! 10! NO BAF!
Jus offa subject, ennywun heving trubble wif teh intertubes speshully teh noos webbies?
Ai cant axcess mai profile eever! *powts inna corner*
Oh yeah, those claws, sharp!
Mah kitteh has 20 reasons why it not be bath time… I is still have scars…
Oh hai!!!
.
I haz a sneek prevu fur u.
.
I b making a gnoo webbysite fur us. It b a plais fur annownsmintz like races adn partyz adn such. It awlso b fur nowncemintz bowt how peepz wif surgereez adn sik kitteez kan b postifyed. I haz ben thinking fur sum time uv spltting deh ICHC stuff off uv mai blog adn I will b putting dat stuff on dere tu.
.
It still b in deh preliminary stagez, but u kin lukking at it. it b at
.
http://www.cheeztowncryer.wordpress.com/
.
Cheez!
Is yu a Seekrut Big Cheez?! Yu is CweenCheezBurger, an Ai claym mai elebenty dollers!
No, i just b a liddlol cheezy!
Juss so lawng as yu donut start milkin it!
It ain’t eezy, iz it?
.
BTW – Iz gud idea (no offense cheezes).
It aint eezy, bein cheezy?!
Nawt wun bit. Just ask Chester.
Oh hai Cweenmj
Wut? Yew iz teh awlmighteh Cween Cheezburger ob ICHC? Wow! Nao doan meh feel speshul to be cheezfrenz wiv yew! Dun fur gtiz to stop by mai page an sendz meh a message sumtiemYew has berry gud LOLs urself
ai furgetted to put in mai URL
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/pictures-by-Taya/
Guess wut? Ai’m stawk in Denver airport awn mai way tew Toronto. Missed mai connection. And, tew add tu mai problems…
*SPLORT*
Wy yu goink to Tohranner?
Ai’m goin’ tew Toerahntoe fur wurk. Wii hab uh sister warehouse up there, and iz mai annual twip to meet and plan wif mai I.T. counterpart. At this point, tho, it luks like itz gunna be spent mostly awn ICHC. Mehbee ai can git mai ITCP to join ICHC and at least get uh chance tew see hiz creative skills in action rather than jes his teckno-illogical skills.
Yoo keeps nuns in a warehous? O teh huje manatee!!!
Ai libbed in Oakville as a yungun, so yoo’ll be neer mai old stomping grownds. An mai boifren libbed in Brampton. Hazza a gud week week week!
Yes, butt onlee awn uh limited bases.
They play havoc awn the forklifts and scales.
The winged habits make it impossiblol tew
git an accurate gross weight reading.
‘corse dats mai antiquity showing, let meh cuber it up fur yew.
…
Weee-haw wee-haw wee-haw (datz a siren sownd)
*dribes up on CCC*
Mai – wut a lot uv braynez yew hadded & losted. Eeep!
*sweepa sweepa sweepa teh braynes into a speshul kuntaynur (caerful hao yew spellz dat
*rinsa rinsa rinsa teh braynez wif sparkloling waddurs (wif hint uv lemming)*
*jentlee sliedz braynes bak into NC66’s hed*
*replayces hed bones*
*dukee tayp teh hed bones bak togeddur*
*appliez latex swim cap – den subtle harepeece* (dun wanna attrakt attenshuns uv sekyooritee pplz)
*tukka tukka tukka NC66 in wif a sawftee green blankee*
*givs hawt choklit & a choklit oktopus (wif caramel filling*
Yew rest nao, NC66 — yew needs to haz yer strenf to fly!
Oh fanky fanky NS. Dat izza nomilishus oktopus.
Doan fergit tew reassemble the point wit the hed bones.
Keeps meh sharp.
Oh, deer, heer cumz teh CCC
*sweep NC66’s branes an rinse dem wiv spring water*
*pakk dem bakk in teh hedd an replaes hed bonez*
*fassen wiv dukky taep *
*snap awn a nyoo CHRG(wdoi)*
*Leed bictim to teh splort recubbery lownj and wrap inna floofy cheezpeepl map blankie an gib sum hawt choklit an a choklitt possum*
Dere, rest a while an doan’t luk at teh pikchoor wivout ur purrtektib gogglez.
Hoep u can soon get awn ur wai!
Oh mai oh mai, luk at awl the reskyooz.
Fanky eberywun.
I feels mush mush beddur nao.
skweeeek
*wheels up CCC*
this looks bad!
*sweepity braynes into a pile
rinses wif sparkloling watter
gently pats braynes bac into hed
eggspurtley positions hed bones in place
tapes in place with ducky taype
snaps CHRG onto hed
ponders for a min
Taypes CHRG in place*
here is a floofy blanket for Denver weather
and nommy cocomoo and chokolit mooses
Eleben, akshulii. Kittehs iz kliin. PURRfecklii kliin. Nevuhr kneadz baffin’ xcep wehn tehy getz intu squonk jooss oar sumfingk lyke taht. NO BAFF!!!
umm… i only see 8 reasons… *counts claws* yep only 8 >^-^<
10 bery, bery GOOD rezuns!
cuple thingz, try 8 clawz…. and it doesnt evn look mad…
Ackshully, it z eight reasons.
aktualli ar eigt risonz not ten
the dew-claw, can also be a puncturing/slashing weapon.
Iz got 10 raizins… trade?
umm counting fail….cats have eight front claws not ten…
not for all cats, see above. also Papa Hemingway had six-toed (counting the dew-claw) cats in Key West.
Kitteh only haz for fingerz…
There are five claws on each front foot.
Yay! so gladz to sees kitteh wif all teh pointee bits. dey is standard ekwipment.
SCREEEEEEEE!!!!!… stoopid chawkbored
Yuhhhh… Katz oly has 8 fingas!
as do you (presumably), you also (again…presumably) have two thumbs where cats have a dew-claw.
That cat looks prettah smug thar.
kitties only have 8 front digits !!!
yeah…
Yep, but they do have a ‘thumb’ or 5th digit back further on their paw and I cant attest they do work
Can’t count can you? There are 8 reasons.
i only see 8…
I can only see eight…
…
But they’re very good reasons.
iz nawt 8 reezons?
LAWL, iz onleez bee counting ieght reesuns
Love it :]
shoodn’t it be ate reasons cuz i onli c ate
it has 9 claws wtf lots of these cats look hurt in pictures
wtf look it looks like cats claw got ripped or cut off it only has nine lots of these cats in these pictures look hurt
I only see 8 reasons, and I aint scared.
Yes that was the first thing I thought on seeing this: This is kittehs not hoomins.