Lone Survivor of
Lone Survivor of Epic Evil Paper War
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: laughsalot
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Cheezburger Network Blog
shred dis tfred
sutch grate nawt second comints! an u calicocoa ar at teh top
*offers nice fruit compote and vanilla ice cream*
ohai deer princess. hao vuree thawtfull adn nais ob yuo. ai lurvz tu lappyng upp teh icee creem! epic nom! fang q moste lottz.
conga ratz on the nawt-sekund calicocoa adn DR. shall we go to the ty boo teek?
Iz comfuzzled…how u getz to be nawt-sekund? iz der a wai 2 know wehn ders new capshunz on da home paig?
ohai nyghtwind! iffn yuo adn DN (adn mehbee teh ratz) leed teh whey, ai’ll dans alogng… *singz conga lyne rihythm*: ty-boo-TE-EEK! ty-boo-TE-EEK! ty-boo-TE-EEK! ty-boo-TE-EEK! (ettc…)
Woot woot!!! Calicocoa!!!! u b deh nawt-sekkund!!! Wif D.R. inna ty!!
.
Off tu deh ty boo tiik wif u bof!!
I haz heerd dat dere b sum awsum noo goodeez dere!! Go see wut u kin find!
ai founded a liddle uni korn in teh bak ruum uf teh bootik! see! *uk holds owt wite floofy paws, kurled up in paws, sleeping, iz a teenietinee royal bloo uni korn wif a gold horn* izn’t he pritteee! but ai don’t no wut tew feeds him..duz newun no wut a uni korn eets?
So prettee, uniquekitty! Ai has a jellus!
This is frum a website abowt unicorns:
“The diet of a Unicorn can only be speculated upon. There are two conflicting theories as to what one eats, or what it does not eat, as you will see.
The first hypothesis is that it eats as a normal horse would, grass, oats, hay and the like. There have been sightings reported in legends in forests, head to the floor, cropping intently at the grass. This behaviour could also be interpreted perhaps that the animal eats just because it is expected to be seen doing so, or perhaps there is some other purpose. It is not known.
The second, although seeming far-fetched and wild, is widely accepted. It is believed that the animal does not need to eat at all, being an animal of the Gods. It simply absorbs the solar power of the sun, drawing the energy directly from it. Many believe that the horn plays a major role in this process.”
Gud luk!
maibe teh sekund wun iz teh rite wun – ai gotted him a kupple dais ago, and ai nebber see him eets nefing! *psst* DK – dere iz a bocks uf uni korns in teh bakk ruum uf teh ty bootek, cweenmj told mii it wuz otay tew go bakk dere and luuk, yew kuld go get wun tew!
Teh writur Gladys Taber sed dat teh yoonikorm dat bisitid hur at Stillmeadow Farm allus nibblold awn teh bloo an wite biolits dat growdid neks tu teh streem. Ai allus lubbd hur rietins.
ohai deer cween, adn fang queue foar teh w00tz! awsum noo goodeez heer whee kome! (reddy, DR?)
Nice wurk, calicocoa!
Smrt comment!
ohai romeow — adn fanx. ai’ve bean lurvin yuor clevvir comintz tou!
iz berry sad be in onna wes cozd; erry buddy asleep nao, aifinkso!
Ai stil has teh awaeks, kittyboocat! Is beein jus a kwartur pas midniet heer. Ai jus hasd a beri zawstin ower, tryin tu baff mai Lucy kitteh’s nek, ware she gots a beri bad booboo, wat maedid a absiss, wat den berstid wen she skritchid it, an ai tryin tu keeps it owpin tu drayn an heel issefl. Lucy kitteh nawt beri happee wif mi rite nao. She maekd teh angree noysis at mi, an den mai Panda kitteh cumin an smakid mi foar bovvurin Lucy. Panda nawt reely lieks hur (dey allus growullin tu eech uvver) , yet she stil bees ‘wun ob Panda’s wimmims’ an he finks he gotta purrtekt hur.
{{{{Lucy}}}} hope she gitz awl bedder.
Ai’m nawt asllep. Aim nomming teh sheep wen dey jump ober teh fence. Nawt tooo… Tooo. Tree… fawr… fi…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ai stil haz teh awaekz tou. abowt halp-pest-1 heer inn caly. (napt urlier, inn teh aftrnune. adn taht’z whai ai din’t gett bak intoo teh thfred umtill nao.)
I saivd u
Ur welcom
Fang you! ang you berry mush!
…Elvis imitashun
Fang you! Fang you berry mush!
Elvis off …
Kitteh is the champ e on!
Der can b only 1!
Highlander ref, FTW!!!!
Ai can has Adrian Paul in teh NB? Kthxbai.
Him wuz teh hawt, wuzznt he?
**fans self**
Just lukked hims up. Cyoot!
*grabs fan frum rhsb, commenses to fan selb brisklee*
Wii kan form a lien? Him is the hott-tea!!
Lien formz bhind mii! Ai still haz mai Highlander calundur frum yeers agoe…..culd nawt bare 2 frow it owt. Heerz a linkee to Adrian’s bio nd pikshurs. Pass teh fan plz! http://www.perfectpeople.net/celebrity-star/1157/adrian-paul.htm
Wowsers!! Hims bees teh gourgeeouus!!!
Wutta a Kyuootie!!
Yesh, wii know kyoot wen wii seez it.
Cheezes Cries-Iz a lien gets in the car!!!
dis how my s-i-l gotted my dotter to marry wif hims
not shreddin pappers — only bees 1!
Suppah kitteh sabes the world from ebil papurr towels yet again
maeks de towels dieded adn provides dinner to!
kitteh sez:
iz all hyoomings fault. doan go in dere… leeethal.
A medal uf paper valor winner if evah der wuz wun.
lol!JF
it wasnt me.
Izzit safe to come owt nao? Iz awl teh ebil paypurr ded?
I fink it myght bee. Teh ebil apypurr iz no moar. Pluz–ai maed dem all dye in de same room. Much safer out dere den in heer.
is deh PUz bak?
Yep, dey comed bak aftur nite church wuz ober.
I went to Japnese plaiz nearby and haded sushi tonite
it was gud
Mmmm…sushi.
Wut kind did u has? I lyks teh simplol toona oar salmon rolls, wif abocado.
wid salmon and california roll
I also had miso soup
delishus an nootrishus
In deh mornings I maded a vegetarian lunsh
wid tomato rice, green beans and carrots
and spicy mashed potaters
I feline gud afta gud helfful meal choyces
an I ended deh day of good eatings
by finishing wid hot choclits and choclit muffins
as I sit an type on ICHC
I iz habbin ginger ale.
Choklit be gud for u! It has teh helfy stuffs innit.
I knoz I lubs deh choclit
I had double dutch choclit muffinz
shared haff wid hubcat
mmm wuz gud
*smaks deh lipz*
I nawt lyks teh Miso soop.
**starts finkin hur will has teh sushi foar lunsch 2morro**
Aifinkso Ai will has teh caviar (reellee is teh fraish roe) in mai scramblolled aiggs inna moarning. Teh fishie ai caughted fru teh icee todai was full of teh aigs.
Ohai, WRr!
U wented icee fishin 2day? Brrr…
Heer, has sum hawt choklit to warms up.
where does U icefish?
U knoz what else goes wid scrambloled eggz
smoked salmon!
Mmmmmmmmmm! Wif a liddul bits ob teh creem cheeziz sturrid in, tu – ai lubs dat! Kors, ai’d has a happee foar enneefing wif teh smoakid sammons.
Fish eggs Fish eggs
Rollee polee fish eggs
Fish eggs Fish eggs
Eet dem up, NOM!
ai alwuz see Tom Hanks in “Big” wipin his tung wif teh nappkin.
maybee iz same nappkin iz whi kitteh attacked?
lol evil paper war I wish I could have seen it
lol
I think it lukket sumfing like dis:
.
Furst deh ebil tishoo paper oawkz jumpted off deh cownter onto deh floor. Den deh wily kitteh crept up on it frum bhind. Slowwwleee, caaaarefullee, wif deh twitchingz uv deh tip uv deh tayle and deh low crownchingz. Den — deh butt wigglol uv doom!! Fowlloled bai deh furiuz attack!
.
The tishoo paper tried tu eskapaping, but it wuz in vane. Deh kittehz viktory wuz not tu b denyed. Deh pointee endz were deployd! Deh bitingz adn bunneh kikkingz were swift adn vishuz!! Deh tishoo paperz flew intu deh air, trying tu kunfuze deh kitteh! Deh kitteh wuz relentless!! Pointy endz raking deh tishooz!! Deh fangz uv viktory impaled deh tishooz and rent dem asunnder. Finally, deh tishooz lay in dissarray, deir ebil planz thwarted.
.
Teh kitteh raynez viktoriuz!!!
Dat beh symylar tew awl da kitteh bersus tishoo fites ai hab seen, cween
.
altho, ai did hab a kitteh, Pixel, who is now ober da bridj, who wud attak a pees ub string, an “flip” onto her syd, as tho the string had dun kung fu awn her. Waz the hylareeus tew watchin!
:snerk: I’ll bet it lukked so silly fur deh string tu attakking deh kitteh!!
An ub coarse, if ai laffed owt lowd, she wud beh the
and stawp plai-en, sew ai used to tri reellee hard nawt tew beh laffin–no small task wif kung fu string flippin mah kitteh!
I hopes u b staying nies adn warm up dere in deh MenneeSnowDaze.
Iz the cowld, and beh da cowlder tewnight, but mah house beh pretty gud an keeps da warms in… an ai haz lotsa sweaters and blankts.
.
Yew surbibed da storm well, yesh?
oh ya. wii be ok. wuz windy and sum raynz. will having moar rayn tomorrow and tuezday, tu… shud have sun agin bai deh end uv deh week. I b gitting tired uv deh high humiddityz…. it b sew stikky… 80 degreez wif 90% humiditeez b ickky sitikky… but better dan snowz.
beleeb meh, ai haz a jealous!
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Wind chills are runnin -20 F tewnite. PLEH!
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Ai beh fadin fast.. ai will go tew bed.. ai did fink it interestin dat no wun commented anna extra line ai put in tew da CCC rescoo for rhsb.
*schmoo* Nyt cween
g’nite!! Schmoooz!!!!
u meenz bowt not gitting deh braynez kleen?? I thot it wuz deh funnee…. wud needing deh klorox, ifinkso…. spring water not enuf tu doing deh job…..
*much clapping ov teh floofee pawz*
Ai do SOOOO luv a happeee ending!!
oh cween
our cween’
tihs is a lubblee deskripshun ob teh epic battel! no wunner yoo ar our cween!
*bows rees peck fulee*
Nize plai by plau! plai. whuteber, mah clawses has wurn off teh letters, and Ai nawt reely tuch typist, Ai gess.
Mai Michio sabes me frum teh killer kleeneks n teh vishus TP. Mai spair bedrume luks jus lyk dis!! Hims b sutch a gud hunter!! Dis ebening himz kills me MT Werthers rapper!
GKMTA! Liam was protecting me from teh Riesen rappers just now.
Mai kittehs all in der sleepy mode now. No savin me from anything. Lots of snorgles dough.
ai iz triing tew cross stytch Plasticat’s nayme onna buukmark fur him – Unique kitteh iz triing tew kill teh thred ai iz uzing
mai kittehs hab gibben up on trying to kill deh thred for de cross stytch. dey knows dat i won’t let dem.
unique don no wut “no” meens ai gess hers teh spoyled. and awl mai cross stitch stuff haz kitty hayr imbedded in dem
dats fur shure!. Ai just gave cross stytches awai for catsmus adn it maed my fambily sneeze! Ai forgots about de cat hayr adn de fact dat deys alergic.
oops -nawt gud! ai don cross stytch az much az ai uzed tew…ai uzed tew hab a big kollekshun uf pics uf teh Budweiser Clydesdales dat ai had dun, ai gibbed dem awl awai… wut du yew liek tew stytch?
ebrything!1! ai maeks piktuers ob aninimals, adn houses, adn mithika; kreetures, adn angels, adn adn well eberything.
ai mostlee du horses and kittehs, sumtymes unikorns and pegasus…ai needs tew trii tew du it more often – it heps relacks mii
Ai gottid maisefl sum soffwere dat ai kin maeks teh kullur stitchees chards frum ennee pikshur oar fowteegraffs. Ai gonna du sum kushins ob mai kittehs bestis fotos, wif dem beein der kyootist.
Eebil paypurr wuz
stakkd agenst t3h wall. Kitteh
juss hadz 2 attakkz!
Sum eebil paypurr
wuz rappt in cleer slippurree
stuffz. Wuz phunn 2 skratch!
Poyntee endz gawtz beeg
wurkowtz! Naow Hewminz gibz meh
vikkturree Nom Nomz?
Jack.
JACK!!!!11!!
.
U B berry aktiv agin!! Wii awl liek it dat way!
.
Standinging obayshun!!
*poof, poof*
Dats teh sownd ub 2 pawz clapping!! U noes wii lubs ur Hy Koos! But wai kitteh gits no vikkturree nomz????
PS – Michio jus caym bai tu gibs Jack hed bonkz n purrs!
Ohai, ManfredMom:
Gibz Meechee~o andz
Manfredz lawtza chin rubbinz.
Mebbee Snorgillz 2?
Jack.
Kittehz fais sez “Yoo still lubs mii doh, rite Mawm? Rite? Rite?”
Foreber an eber, anom!
Geshundheit kitteh!
Here, ai’ll hand yew uh tissue.
Wait. Wut?
*shreds tissue*
rofl
Oh hai!!! Duz enneebuddy heer haz deh Gmail??? I can’t git mine tu werk….just wundering if it just b mii, oar if deh whole thing b whakko. i can’t git deh login page tu load….. it just keepz saying “loading” …. but it never duz….
Ohai, mai leej. Mai g-mayo iz teh wurkin. Butt (hee hee) oen neber nos!!11!!
Mai g-mayo duz teh “loading” 4eber sumtiems.
Hmmm.
i haz rebooted. …. i wunder wut uzzer majik trikz i shud try.
*wanderz off wif a puzzloled luk on fais….
Iz wurking, some times when dis happens to me
I just restart firefox
Mine seems to be werkin fine.
Myne iz werking wif bof teh Maxthon nd teh Internet Exploder.
Ai has teh Gmail. But – lukkit teh taim!! Ai’ll bet yoo got it awl fixed bai nao!
Hai dere!!! well, i finally gotted it to kwit trying tu log mii intu deh cweenmj address and I got logged intu mai uzzer addy….. hazn’t tryed going bak tu deh cweenmj addy…. sayving dat advenchur fur tumorrow….
shreded papers iz teh new Fung shwai!
Oh yesh. Teh kitteh b teh gud dekorimerater.
bebbeh kitteh ob deh abtaar is deh cute
want
Fankies! I want i too, eben if teh orange ones are poison =P
“it” not “I”, stoopy typos..
reminds me of Inji when herz were liddel
you beez very lucky to have such cute kitteh(s)
o fanks zaffy
does U has kittehs too?
Haow bees Injeh tonite, two_kittehs?
herz has calmed down frum yesturdai
still a bit jumpy but was playing wid deh boy kitteh
in deh morning and not unner deh bed.
teh haz everything from papah boms 2 teh papah mizzils, it lic papah war in dar…an you haz to clean it up.
iz to cute to yell at!!
Huh?
Wha?
Da googie didz it.
Shock n awe.
Pssssttt, you need teh innocent eyez for dat to work
Kitteh habs street shred.
I meen sheet cred.
Oops, feet shred.
Awww…I gibs up.
@@@@@@@@!!!!!
Romeow FTW!
Kitteh gots frustrated wif hims origami lessons.
Let’s juss call dis “sno.”
ohai Romeow, how is Uz
is seeing U aftah a long long time
does U has a gud recipe fur an applol cake
I has broted lots frum deh farmer’s market that I went to dis Saturdai
Happy Gnu Ear Romeow!!!
I almost forgotted to wish Uz
is sno bizness: purr foarmanz artz.
Dere sno biznizz.
Like sho biznizz?
yup. like no bidness i noes.
ohai u two!
I is just hedded to beds, but I spoke to our mausy frend wif teh burfdai coming up, and he authormarized a partee on teh 12 pm EST lol of that day.
Dont know if u wants to forge ahed wif wot we started makin a list of last nite?
But I will make the first ‘nounsemint tomorrows, unless one of u wants to?
nooooes, you go riot head! i wheeeeeeeeel be too bizzy praktising my sinking!
*warmz up Efel Murmun voiz*
THEEEREZ NO BIDNESS LIKE SHO BIDNESS LIKE NO BIDNESS I NOOOOOOOOOO
*Joynz deh sing ging
Ebreefing abowt it iz a (deep bref) PEEEEEELIIIING!!
Effreetin deh traffix will a (deep bref) LOOOOOOWWWW!!
**Joynz deh sing ging too!!*
Nowhar cud yoo getz taht happpeee feline, wehn yoo ar STEEEEELOLING that extre bau!!!
(big bree)
Theirz noe peeple laike SHO peepl, they smyol wehn tehy ar loh
Eben wif a turk ee taht yoo noe will fowld, yoo may bee strandeded aut in teh cold
Still yoo wunt chanj it fur a sak ov gold,
Letz GO awn wif teh (moar deep breth) SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!
Oh yes!!! wii makez a fab trio, ifinkso!!!
Wii b deh sing ging gurlz uv Cheezland!!
We need a gud nayme!!! Ene idearz?
Teh Cween an hur Laydeez?
Ummmmm ai think maybee ai’m too sleepee to be having to think too much!!
Teh Sweetpea an teh. . .???
Roses????
Dere’s a grrl groop up heer called teh Wailin’ Jennys (get it?). Yoo cud prolly borrow der naem if yoo lieks it!
Teh Wailiin’ Jennys??? LOL!!
Akshullee, ai’m nawt shur ai get it!! ai can think ov sebral thingz it cud meen.
Iz a play on words on Waylon Jennings. He approves!
OH gud!!! Taht wuz wun ov them. . .but ai wont say the odders!!
WAY too odd!!
Lol! Gudnite, Janet!
Nite, 4oint5kittehs!
mai brayne b too klose too sleep tu kumming up wif a gud naym.
JYNX
Ok!! Tomorrow iz fur shur an odder day!!
.
Hums to self “O What a NIte”. . .
Late Desember bak in sixtee three….
Its awl yur fawlt!
seemz wii bof hab deh saym probblem…. I finkso i goez tu bed…. mebbe kin thinking better tumorree.
Nite-nite deers. Schmoooo!
“Ar yoo coming to bed sune?” LOL!!
.
An niightee nite to awl!!!
Schmoooz tu awl!!!
*in awe* you spoke to da maus? impressieve
um, well, inasmush as I is ’speekin’ to u now!
btw did u see teh earlier lol… Scuse Meeee? I thotted uf u and loled!
you thott’d 0 me?
*skampres off to luksee on way to sleepythyme*
Anuthur uv mai hiirowz!
yr enemas
I killified them for u
harhh — enemaz. catalogical indeede!
The hawrer … the hawrer …
Kitteh bees teh layste man (oar kitteh) staynding inna Papure Waur:
hims ar awn wautch rite naow, tuu maike shure taht teh Enemee Papures doan ree-groop adn fite bakk!!!
The lone survivor is not so alone. Like Al Quida, they work in small, autonomous cells, and we have one at home, and also keep finding “lone survivors”.
oh look the paper towels are fighting again
D
lone survivor wont survive fer much longer!