drunk dial kitteh
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Who be Talkin'
An he sez u aer himz best fren in teh hole wirld
Congaratshoelaces Annipuss!
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* shakes littlol paw at stoopy Fyrefocks *
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Whut yu wud liek fur drinks adn danses?
Thx, Fyrefox werkt OK fer me! Ai aer juss goin 2 haz mai dinner, so a ginnantinik wud fit teh bill Aifink – Ai’ll leeb teh dansis 2 you. A bleeb u aer gettin gud at teh poll dansin…..
He certainly has been watchin dat bideo alot, I heer!
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* taeks “Hawt Chokklit – Ai beleebe inna Miwacles” CD out ob player *
*puts ‘Hot Stuffs’ in teh CD player and hands GP teh pole (resentlee uncovered in teh raking of teh leafs)*
* has a sudden pain in poorly knee *
an old futball injury?
*luks skepticall*
nose! is cycloling injury – ai is habbing teh Pysio Therapy adn ebberyfing!
*holds out ace bangaj*
Isn’t teh psyio ferapist uzing teh DWDC fur teh knee injurees tudai?
Dear God stop speaking in that infernal language
Deer God and CC, pweeze releef us frum teh trolls and let us awl lib in peas on erf. Fank u 4 gibbing us cheezluv to spread to effurywun.
Noes.
An yu kant maek mi.
So der.
*gigglol*
*hugs nicewitch*
happi gnu year, mai cheezfrend!
An happi gnu yers tu yu, upfi! Cheezland gnu yeers ar teh bestist!
Yew beh usin da troll rode. Yew owes us elebenty munnies fur usin da troll rode. Yew sea, Cheezland beh a happi plais, and da trolls muss show dat dey hab som balue… sew yr jawb, wedder yew liks eet oar nawt, is tew halp Cheezland ekonmee.
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*holds owt floofy paw* Elebenty munnies, pls. Anna werd ub kawshuns. iffn yew use da troll rode a sekond tyme, its elebenty times elebenty munnies.
*LOL*
*hugs BuddyDitzmores Mom*
Happi Noo Yeer, mail cheezfwend!
Adn…. and….. I lubz u man!!!
LOL!
*runs up and POWNSES awn teh donkeh*
HAPPEH GNU YEER KAFLEEN!!!!!!!!!
Schmooo!
PILE ON!!
*jumps on top of teh ‘luv-a-donkee’ pile*
*Joynz deh pyle*
*Snorglez tu deh DawnKee!!!
*Plasticat and UK jump awn pyle tew!*
*moe runs up an jumps on luv-owr-donkee” pyle*
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hao yu iz, kafleen? hope yu haded gud holly daze!
*emits a happy whimper from the bottom of the pile*
ohai Kafleen – Plasticat and ai saw a “Chia Donkee” at teh store teh otter dai! teh bocks eben had yer avatar onit!! it wuz teh kyoot!
I saw dat too!!!!!!!
I stared and stared!!
Den I laffed and laffed!
Den I grinned and stared sum moar!
Happi Gnu Ear, Kafleen!!!1!
mmmm….gnu ears……
…wishing he had thumbz
Iz owkay. Fone iz voys aktibayted.
Sew dat’z hoo woked mii up!
Din’t do it! I swares!
wunst wen i moovinged, i gotted a number dat had previuzlee belonged tu “sherry” I kept gitting kawlz fur hur fur munfz!!! i think she puttinged hur name & number on awl deh menz ruum wallz in town…. most uv deh kawlz wuz at bowt 2 o’klok in deh morning….DO NOT WANT!!!
Dere izza fone number dats written awl ober teh ladee’s baffrooms heer in KY, an I heer in nayborin states, too.
I dunno if gurl iz gettin revendj oar if himz adbertisin himself!
Wai U gots sharpee inna back pawket…adn iz dat nawt ur ex’s numburs?
**luuks askanse at WRr**
Why u luukin at my bak pokkit, Mistur?
cuz ai nawt can seez ur aies frum heer.
Why nawt? Didn’t u know dat wimmens has eies inna bak of dere heds?
**goes to spin arown, but gets dizzee an fawls inna heep onna floor**
Um yeah……I meant to do dat.
**curls up awn floor** Dis is kinda comfee ackshully.
Jest nawt to step awn me, ‘k?
**begins nappin**
U hadded teh lawng night.
*tucks floofee cheezpeeps map blankit around rhsb.
leefs a glass uf waddur adn teh alka seltzur next tu teh pillol. **
Whew, glad I’m not the only one who did that!
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**Looks at cell phone dialing history**
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Dang! I don’t even recognize these numbers!
Less luk at dat list.
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Anthony Aarvaark
Betty Bling
Charlotte Corn
Danny Donut
E…
Eddie Munstur
Freddie Krueger
Gatsby teh nawt great wun
Harry Carray
I…
Igor
Jack teh Ripper
Kevin Costner
L…
GMTA!!
Igor (walk dis wai)
Jumpin Jehosofat
Kamakazi (teh drinkee)
Loonee Toonee
M…
Marilyn Manson
Narnia teh princes uf
Oz, teh tinny man wif teh hart
Penelope Peapod
Q…
Qwilleran….. of deh Cat Who mystereez
Rowe, Mike
Spencer for hire
T…….
Tinee Tims Tulip farm
Unicornz remobal serbices
Verizon custumer services
Wild, gurlz gone Ky edishun…dey haz ur bideo
X…
Xtreme Makeoberrz –Lolcat edishun
Yul Brynner
Zanzibar
oh mai cween………how funny yew wud menshun Yul Brynner…….or cud yew, like me, be watchin magnificent sebenty?
oh teh ice road truckers, eh? ribbeting!!
Truckers, nawt froggers.
yew seen sum ob dem truckers??????
Ringo Star!
* scampers ober tu non descript fence arownd elebenty square acre sekshun ob lolcatburglars back garden adn hangs large banner *
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~ GRAND OPENING 21nd JANYOOAIRY ~
~ kweshuns tu Guinness Piggeh plzthx ~
But, my birfday iz teh 18th!
Dat givingz u a cuppla daze tu recubber frum deh party!!
yesh yesh yesh, yu wheel knead awl teh energy yu has fur teh… err, ebent.
Will dere b dansing???
will dere b drinkzeez??
will dere b a wadder slide???
will dere b elolefentz?????
will dere b drunkted elolefantz dansing down deh wadder slidez??
1. Prolly
2. Absolutely
3. Oh yesh yesh yesh!
4. hmm… mebbeh…
5. Umm, no. plz tu nawt be teh sillee!
But I b sitting in mai silly chair!! I must tu b silly.
* shakes littlol paw at Tiggles *
*setz up a water slyde speshully foar drunked elo-fonts to dans down.*
um.
do tehse elolfonts by any chanse be pink?
If datz wut u beeing, leeza, hoo am I tu saying no?
I dunno. I handeded teh inbytashuns to Nellie the ely-font butted she packed her trunk adn sed gudby tu teh circus. Offen she went wib a trumpety-trump, trump trump trump. Neber did heer back which wuns she delibered.
**litebulb comes on ober hed**
I KNO WAT IT IZ!!!!
LCB an GP iz gettin MARRYED! An wii iz awl inbited!
Congratzshoolaces to teh happitayle cupplol!
*runz tu ty boo teek tu git wedding giftee!
Oh, I b sew egg sited!!!
no, no, rly, is NAWT teh necessary… wii is NAWT getting marryed!
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but but but yu can buy me prezunt iffn yu want tu
Oh, ai kumming wif yoo, mai qween!!
*runs off to Tye-Bootik wif an eggsited! (Adn teh Qween)*
our own lub storee
how lubly
concats to deh happeh cupplol
umm… fankies, but but but NO NO NO wii is NAWT getting teh marryed!
Iz okay, GP. U jes teh nerbis. Dats nermal.
Now breev deeplee an think of ur lubly bride.
**whispurrs**
Duz Maus needs to has teh “weddin nite” tawlk wif u?
LOLZ!!!!
Mebbee u prefer Professer D’Beaker?? I finkso him haz sum vishual aidz.
ROFL – this iz teh FUNNY!
Ai can’t reed ennee moar – Ai haz laffed so mutsh mai iis aer leekin!
As long as noffin else is leeking!
hey, no peeking!!!!
*hands jamama a 10P towel adn sum floofy green nikkers*
*psst……..fanks!*
an who will haz deh tawk wid deh blushing bride?
rhsb I volunteerz U!
I prolly nawt teh bestest wun to do dat, 2_k, foar menny reezuns.
U wud do bettur job.
Moast portint fing tu tells hur is hur shud trai nawt tu bees laffin owt lowd. Ober teh mennee yeers, ai has a noatisin dat teh nakkid guis reelee nawt bees hassin a gud sens ob hyoomur.
O teh Hyooge Manatee!
A threesum???!?!?!?!?!?!
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OMCC!!!
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* will hab tu maek nowsmint abowt REEL ebent tomorrow *
Gnumann TOO??
*comtemplaytes a foursum of LCB, GP, Gnumann and teh manatee*
*admires sparkly new ring on left hand*
Whut’s this, now?
**runs up to LCB and hugs her**
Congratshoolases, fren!
Yoo too maek teh kyootest cupplol!
So, wat kinda dress u gonna steel foar teh okkayshun?
sew, LCB – dis tyme yew did nawt hab tew , uh, obtain yer own shinee sparklee fing?
rhsb, is u still teh drunk from last nite and seein’ dubble?
Yeah, but dats neether eer nor dere.
Can I gibs teh weddin toast? I gots it reddy alreddy.
“I hope ur lum reeks alot dis yeer. Many happitayle returns!”
Ai can sings at teh weddings? Ai parctiss awl dai
♪♫♫♪♪
Here comes the bride,
all dressed in white.
Stepped on a turtle,
and down came her girdle.
LCB stepping on Turtlol??? OH NOEZ!!!! Pore Turlol!!! Iz she hurted??? Kwikk!! kawl deh para medix!!!
*after reeding dis fred, wunders if GP’s ebent will meet teh cheezpeeps expectashuns*
*UK checks calendar tew maik shure sheduz nawt hab tew werk that dai*
mai birfdai iz the 26th!
Hay! So iz mien!
Xept, nawt until Septembur …..
booteh call kitteh!
*POWNSE* *HEDBONK*
Happeh Gnu Yeer, Leeza! Didja hab a niec Gnu Yeer’s Ebe?
*hebonks back, pownses on DK’s tayle*
ohai!! Happi Noo Year to u too!!
It was ok… just a party wif some frends, nothing 2 wild, and I was home by teh 1-ish.
How was ur NY’s eve??
*spins arownd n bites leeza’s eer gentlee*
Plz to define “nothing 2 wild”? Did it inclood poll dansing?
Mai ebening wuz teh lade-bak – dinner wif a few frends at mai sister’s, played sum wurd games, frends left arownd 10, did dishes n yakked wif mai sis until eleben, tehn hoem. Called mai dotter at midnite-oh-wun. Beddy-byes wif teh kittehs.
Relaxing todai. Too cowld to go to teh barn, aifinkso. Can’t beleeb ur cutting teh grass!
grass I can no seez grass
goes outside
I can seez snoz and slush
I is down souf.
We can has 40 degrees today. Gud temp for yard werks!
And rane tomorrows, so I need to get done todays.
*sigh*
so I better go do it before I runs out of daylite.
Here I fergotted Ur krissymaus prezzie.
*handz pakkidj tu Skwirrlgrl*
*Whispurs to cweenmj* iz teh rownd tuit, wdoi
*rolls DK over, and bunneh kicks hur*
well..
*catches breffs*
no pole dansing.. a little dansin but pole-lesslee! there was maybe 25 people, some gud frends, some I dint know so well… I DID try teh blak velvet tho! It was pretty gud!
*gets wilde luk in aies, springs up and races arownd teh rume*
Ooh, ai shall hab to trying a Blak Belbet!
BTW, ai liek teh sownd of a “he-bonk”! (C ur post at 8:40)
Ohai wise cheezpeeps I has a queshun bout mah kitteh
eber since we has moved (bout 2 weeks) mah Injeh kitteh
has been a bit sad, herz goes unner deh bed and sits dere
an she neber used to do dat mush befoh
(only other incident I remember is when mah frenz toddler was
harassing herz)
herz is eating well and I just had taken her
to Dr Tiny Vet and she ar halffy
herz
whut does U fink deh problemz is
an whut can I does
I welcomes Ur analysis an suggeshchunz
i fink she just b upset bowt deh move. Kittehz not like wen deh familiar disa peerz. I haz had kittehz git mad at mii just fur rearranging deh furnicherz… Mebbee make a spot speshul just fur hur az much like a spot in deh old howse. Adn gibbing hur deh fuudz she b used tu. I spekt deh older she b, deh less she like deh change.
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Did deh previuz ownerz haz petz?? she may b smelling dem adn it upsetting hur thinking dey will kum bak adn chase hur away. mebbee eggstraw shampoo deh carpetz adn using deh Febreeze oar such tu halp masking deh udder critterz odorz.
we brotted herz kitteh condo which she has completely gnored
herz wud lub sit with me at my desk too, she hasn’t done dat either
I will do deh febreeze fingie, the previous purrson who libbed here
wuz an old lady who passed awai but I don’t fink herz had any pets,
but I willz find out, I not knoz fur shure.
There is a small goggie across deh street who barks a lot, mebbeh that’s
upsetting herz.
I has not changed her foodz or deh litter box eidder.
U know what I meant!
I hasn’t change deh type of litter I use
I thinkz mainlee, just gibbing hur tyme adn she will gitting uzed tu deh noo home. moovez kin b tuff on deh kittehz kuz dey not noez y ebbreething differnt.
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Adn deh kin smelling so muchez dat wii can’t adn don’t eben think uv…. like if u moovinged frum a urban area tu a rural area oar vice versa deh whole nayburhuood will haz a differnt odor. Den dehre b deh moar oar less traffikz on deh rode, differnt sowndz (like deh barking doggee neggzt door) and u soo bizzy wif deh boxez and not gibbing hur enuff snorglolz (in hur opinyun) …
{{{{two_kittehs}}}} {{{{Injeh}}}}
fanks fur deh hugs cween I will shares demz with Injeh when herz
comes out of herz hidey plais
didded teh old ladee pass awai inna hawse? Mebbe hur spiritz iz nawt yet crossed teh bridj adn is gibbin teh Injeh teh willies?
Oh noez now I has to joyn Injeh unner deh bed
*hedbats WRr*
Donut say stuffs liek that!!!
*shivers*
Iz otay! Ther wuz a spirit of an owld womin in mai mum’s hows. Berry harmless.
I dobleevinspooks, I dobleevinspooks, IdoIdoIdoIdoIdo!
ah! dere yu is…
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* fyres up emayo masheen *
?
Wot is emayo masheen?
Shud I be teh skared?
pfft… nose! ai wus gonna send yu an email but but but den ai membered yu is prolly nawt at teh stoopy pleh werk…?
.
ai has jawb fur yu…
nopes! Iz not at teh werk until next Munday.
a job?
*has an intreeged and a worry at teh same time*
kin u send somethin to my profile, or will it wates til Mundane?
Ur not offrin me teh phlonquais posishun r u??
no, no… aifinkso AngelPlume has won… but but but ai no seas mai gnu phlonquais… tihs is nawt teh gud…
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* has an otter ideeya… lettuce sea iffn eet wheel werk *
Dis mahbeh nawt so far fetched… ai noes wun house ai was in was haunted by da prebious owner.
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Ai simply tolded her nawt tew beh mean butt that she was ded, and that she was welkum tew beh stayin as lawng as she wannid and needid, butt that she was a guest in mah howse nao, and dat she shud nawt be skerrin da kitteh oar duin damaj tew anne ub our stuffs…
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Ai axd her if she unnderstud, an was ok wif dat… she went and stood inna tv, which was awn, and ebreefing froze for 5 sekonds, and den went bak tew normal… (an no one else in mah nayborhood had tv problems dat time and nite). Frum den awn she was a guest at owr howse, and was quite protectib uv us fur a lotta whyles. Butt wii treeated her wif respects.
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Maybeh yew needs tew beh tellin da prebious owners sumfink similar?
Wot a grate idea, BDM! Ai fink u has dun very well.
Fangs, upfi! Orijinallee, she was berry upset dat no wun was payin her (da spirit ub da prebeeus owner) anee tentions. Den she unnerstud whii, and nawt sew upsetted.
Ifinkso kittehs taek a whiel to adjust to enny chanjis. Dey is berry sensitib to lyf chanjis, wether iz movin, deth, oar enny chanj in kitteh’s lyfe.
I wud say it jes takes tyem. Gib him extry-snorgles in teh meentime!
yes dey shure is, sensitive to changes
when we moved 4 years ago
Yogi kitteh took a whiles to adjust
now it ar Injeh’s turn
during deh drive last time Injeh gabe us deh most trubble
this time it was Yogi’s turn to growl an yowl althru deh dribe
Pooh kittehs dems hates to move
I no blames demz
Ohai two_kittehs, adn Happeh Gnu Yeer!
Sownds liek Injeh hasn’t adjusted to teh move adn gnu surrowdingz yet. Ai R nawt a professional vet tech, but prolly just lots of lubs n snorgles n reashurins will doing teh trik. Oh, adn gushifuds! N treets!
I gibs lub an snorgles and gooshie fuds
herz eyes luk so sad, I fink herz is confoosed
we still has most of deh same foornishoors
yesturdai I took deh last of deh boxes to be recycled
and herz has been unner deh bed since
eggsept fur eating and deh litterbox
ohai two_kittehs!
Ifinkso kittehs can be verra sensitive to changes of any kind… as long as shez eeting ok and teh vet sez shez ok, u prolly just needs to have a patient wif hur and give hur some time. Just give hur pets and loves when she will let u and she will come around!
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I has a storee. When my grate uncle died, his kitteh wented into teh baffroom and stayed in the bafftub for six weeks. Only came out to eet and use teh litturbox. My aunt had a worryb but she came out when she was reddy.
Sew maybe, ur kitteh is just needin some ‘adjustmint time’, liek Scrappy did.
she adjusted to deh last moob without any problemz but that wuz four yearz
ago and herz wuz a kitten (bout a year old). I has been gibing her eggstra
attenshunz, last cuppla dayz
and she responds but den gets all sad and goes unner deh bed when we is
busee doing other fings.
Ai may hab silli qwestion, butt hao dew YOU feline about da moob? Is yew happitale wif it, oar mixeded emoshuns, or has a sad? Much ub what Injeh may be respondin tew is hao yew are feline.
.
Mah udder finkin is dat if yew lay down anna floor and tawk tew Injeh, maybeh nawt sew sad no moar?
Yoo bees teh wies, BDM.
u r wise, BDM. When William, my main kitteh, had to wear cone after the vet had to cut off a peece ob his tayle *sniff* i has had to sleep on floor wif him for 2 nites. Now he still sad and needs lawts of lubbing but he is betteh. Now i just gots to consince him I not sleeping on floor wif him any more. I has gots m y own bed.
Dats grate story, PrincessofChaos! Pore William. Iz hard for hoomins to copper…comper…unnerstand teh importins of teh tayle.
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An yu ar much smarter tahn me…ai did it teh ovver way rownd…nao Big Minion sleeps on 75 an 3/4 percent ov mai bed…ai shud haf slept on floor…
so who is teh minion, then??
Moves are beree stressful an is particularly stressed since.
I iz working on mah gradskool applikashunz an is deh busee
We has unpacked but not got around to doing mush decoratings
an stuffz.
Scrappy story is so sweet
fanks fur sharing leeza-b
fanks fur deh analysis and suggestions
cheezpeepz is deh bestest
:groop hug
{{{}}}
teh kitteh needz pruhfesshunal helps. neesz 2 joyn alkohawlikz anonimuss
Kitteh tryd joining alky-hall anonymouse, but woz kikked owt after eeting teh mouse.
Snerk! X 2 !!
Happy New Year, Cheezy Frends! I love you all! ♥♥♥♥♥♥
an we lubs U
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year to you, Kafleen, and all the cheezfriends. If I weren’t sick and on cal for work at the same time, I’d be more excited.
Oh, Jon, I’m sorry….do you have the pookies?? My mom and son had that
this week.
Kittehlessjon!!!!!!! {{{{{{{{Kittehlesjon}}}}}}}}} Happee Gnu Ear!!!
Ai wuz just thinking about yoo!! Reelee- ai wuz. Ambercat an I maed a list a cuppla daze ago – peepl we hadn’t scene in a wile – an laytur – ai thot ai shud hav put yoo awn it!
.
An – heer yoo ar!!! Hope yoo . . .oh. YOo ar sik – AND awn call????
Well – still – ai hoep yoo will be bak moar!! Pleez donut think yoo havn’t bin mist!!!
.
An ai hoep yoo ar feline bedder soon!!
Ai lubs u two, donkey!!! Kafleen, fank u 4 the wunnermus card u sent me and the lubberly wurds! FANK U!
ohai upfi!
I luvs ur noo years abatart!
hope u had teh gud hololidaze and will hav a grate 2009!
Fank u, leeza-b! May 2009 bring u peas and happiness and sunshine! Ai still habs holly days until Mundane. Dat’s mai cat err pillar when I draw it by hand, er, mouse on hte PC! Ai also draws it when ai write snail mail and when ai proof-reads papurs to make mai criticisisism a bit easier to swallow …
it wur troolee a plessur ♥
XD Dad does that sometimes when he’s wasted.
yah.
sumtimes teh Lubs wen dey bee “wasted” beez better dan nun at all, huh. U getz
ur lubs ware u kin.
May I has ur attenshuns, plz?
.
Teh Nawty Barn will be closed for cleaning for a few dayz.
.
Y’all shud see teh mess in dere. Dere is still peeplols passed owt eberyware, wuz lyk walkin thro a mine feeld to get akross teh room!
.
Oh, an if you’re missin certin articlols of clothin, awl unclaymed stuff will be put inna bocks neer teh entranse of teh sowndproof room.
.
Kthxbai.
I knoz Ur plan U iz planning to get lucky an keep all of us awai
Girl, right now, I’m not even sure I know where Lucky IS!?!
Turn awn teh scannurs…membur U haz barcoded hiz bottum sos U nawt could lose him.
If u meen dat nawtee Leppry-con, dat’s prolly just as well….
*lolling lowdlee @ two_kittehs*
R teh fyremans going 2 b ther to power-warsh teh plase wif teh big hoziz? Sevrul ov us mite lyke to wotch…
uh oh…dat mite nawt bee gud…nao lawng will it bee kloesed?
Iz owkay. I heer LCB rented dis plays cawled Yew Toobe tu handle akkomidashuns.
*whew* ai’z herd ob dat…dere’ll bee enuff ruum dere, at leest…
*riflez threw bokz uv unklaymed clothingz
.
Wut??
.
I b lukking fur mai sokz dat wented missingz wen i did deh laundry.
teh driiyurr nommed them, aifinkso….
*waekz up teh nexxt mornin* ooooh…mai hed…..hmm…ai wunner hoo ai calleded….
yeh dat would happenz surley
yeh dat would happenz surely
thankx 4 commenting my lolz…there b more from me n my brudders. thankx much, luv n purrz
Sebastian