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but ai fell asleep!
o wayt…
.
* faispaw, faispaw, faispaw *
* heddesk *
Here let mii do dat furr u.
EEP! No fankies!
Ai wil sweep tihs kittoon ryte intew mai wurruld whar ai kan snorgle him tu mai hartz contint.
ohai GP!
did u master teh pole dansing tekneek yet?
inkwiring minds want to noe!
* switches Polish TV off *
.
huh? oh nose… ai has been lukking fur tips on hao tu du eet but but but dere is nawt mush abowt it…
but but but… it was an instruckshunal video!!
teh hole video was teh tips!!
oh yesh, teh bideo ob rhsb
.
whut has been seen… canut be unseen…
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* sips frum majikal refilling Guinness glass *
I begs ur pardon….
♫ i nebber pwomis’d you a roooooooose gaaaaardin…
oh wait, we’re not sharing eerwurms?
dang, jest gave dis wun to mysef… adn sinz miseree lubz cumpnee
♫aloong wif da suuunshine, dere’s gotta bee a liddul rain sumtiiiiiiimez…
ai lubs dis sawng!
* slips awn FCHRG(wdoi), Faux Moose Stash adn terriblol Fronsch Ack Secnt wib a kwikness *
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Ah, bonjour madame… Zhee Pee, yu sai? Non, je ne sais pas ou il est!
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Un petit verre du vin pour vous?
AH!! Bonjour Messy Yur le LPB. Je voudrais aussi un petit verre du vin, c’est possible.
Nous avon ici enuff water frum reign an meltedsnow to flood just about ebreething!!
.
Und DESWEGEN brauche ich dringend und so bald wie moeglich un peu du vin!!
Err, umm, err… oui madame…
.
* hands un verre du vin *
.
* grabs loldeutsch (?) dikshunree *
Danke vielmals, lieber Lautlachenderschweinchendieb!
Sorry – my German is way better than my French! Which is pathetic, at best!
TRES gut!
.
An thanx fur teh veere du vin. Ai hoep itz Mueller Thuergau, wich iz mai favrit!
*sips teh vin (Wein)(wine)(vino)*
Hmmmmmmmmmm
ohai mah janet!!
i finkso u speeks wunnerfuls jermain. i juss wunners wai sum buddy want steels littel schweinchen…!
hopeso u haves rly gud holler days!!
ur ibk
“Lautlachenderschweinchendieb” — ROFL!!! @@@@@
troo, dis beh de clebber LOL, an da CYOOT!
.
Hao beh yew, pinnygig? Hab a gud Bawksing dai?
yesh yesh paigeygirl’s capshun is full ob win!
.
Meh, mai bocksing dai wus teh otay… ai is glad is ober nao!
aww…
{{{{GP}}}
Did u not have any funs this krissmus atall??
* shudder * nawt tu mush…
.
stoopyfambileeargumentsruineberyfingeberyyeer
sowry.
mine can has those 2 sometimes. lukkily, not this year.
gen’rally, teh ones of us that do not liek teh frickshun, just start drinkin.
*pours GP anotter Guinness*
* lukks fur answer tu prollems at bottom ob glass *
Ohhhhhhhh GP!! {{{{{{GuinnessPiggeh}}}}}}} That iz so SAD!!! Just wehn teh famblee shud bee happee, ha ha, laffing ha ha, chaffing ha ha, nectar quaffing ha ha ha – they ar FITING?? Ebree yeer???
.
Lettus awl put awn ar thinking caps an deside hao to fix that!! It shudn’t bee!! It duzzn’t HAV to be.
Aww fankies {{{{{{Janetobteh4Kittehs}}}}}}
.
Dere issa a rift, wii no want tu close eet yet. Dey shud leebe eet alowne aifinkso…
I for one, don’t look for the answer to problems at the bottom of the glass. I look for the bottom of the glass………..that way I can get another one. *beeeg grin*
Konga rat, pinny gig! An Anni, da kwik! fur nawt sekond ty.
.
Dis kitteh, beh da danjerus–wifout mah CHRG, ai wud beh the ded frum da CYOOT!
Fankies BDM – heer, hab a Guinness Piggeh (c) FCHRG(wdoi) – is nawt so gud at teh SPORT prevenshun but but but is extry floofy adn berry stylish!
Awwww…. Fanx yew, pinnygig!
,
*schmoo* Dat beh da sweet!
.
*strokes floof an smylols*
off tu deh ty boot EEK wif deh bof uv u!! I heer dere b a fresh stawk uv shamperz fur deh upkumming Noo Yeerz Eve!! And kewt liddlol kitteh shamperz flutez adn eben sum pinny gig flutez too!!!!
floots fur da shamperz, aifinxo, sew pinny gigs can drinx awn Gnu Yaers Ebe.
.
Hoo wud making a flute owt uv a pinny gig?? and how?? adn Y??
yesh, hoo??
ifinkso that wud be a bad note to start teh weekend on.
Anom!
*petz da lil GP on da hed*
i hazza simpathees fr yr famblee{s Christmuz argumints. it halps to live maaaaaaaany miles away frm da famblee sumtimes.
*mutters to self, i gotta build up my kurrij to fellytone da relativs. mebbee dis rekwires muches prayer n fasting fr prepurrashunz*
*mebbee aye{ll just stay at da computr. where da hek is da postrofee on da spanglish keboard¿¿¿¿¿¿¿*
*notizez, wif sum releeefz, da cweens abatar haz teh changing*
miladee, yr royal visaj haz chanjd!
¿pork aye¿
*hunting n pecking trying to lern to yuze españnol keyboard settink*
iz it a portent 0 fingz to come? a nomen 0 Christmuzz fyutchure¿
hmmmm. *singz fru da Elebeñtee plus Wun daze 0 Christmaz wundring wot i aer spozd to get da kitteh. *
aha. i meremberz.3 fronsch hinz. Will da freshpak 0 organikalmally fed Yanqui TTNI
(teenytineenoo ingerland) frum WholeFudz do¿
I haz re drawn mai dee liteful nishulz wif a crown…. i think it b lukking a liddlol bedder dan the old wun….. I wish wp didn’t blurring it so much…. mebbee i shud try making it a bitmap…….
.
Y 4 u uzing deh span itch kee bord??
Ai think yur crown DUZ luk bedder. Much moar crown laik. But . . .maybee yoo cud pt teh littlol tinee round thingees aw teh pointee enz??? Maek it luk laik Henree teh Ates crown, purrhaps?
I wudn’t want peepz thinking i had stolened Henryz crown. B’sidez if it wuz too shiny adn pritty, LCB wud b borrowing it awl deh time…
Conga ratz Guinness Piggeh an Annipuss!! Hoa tew sillibrate?
o fankies madamz! aifinkso sum calming plinky plunky music, sum froot adn a glass ob orinj joose fur meh!
Heer u go, served rite up on silber platterz . . . noa I getz mi ukeleili tew providez sum plunk en plinken.
Ai aer bushed owt
Ohai Annipuss! Hao yu is todai?
.
Aifinkso yu shud has teh Congarats adn teh sillybrayshuns… teh brayne freeze wus tu mush fur meh adn aifinsko ai maed teh sayme joke as teh capshun… aifinkso aneewai…
.
* has a confoozed *
An wen Ai nawt sekund lukked, Mai commint wuz dere, but nawt urz! Butt (tee hee) a tye iz a tye, so less go to teh tye booteek 2 see iffn dere iz ennifing dere 2 cure teh Krissmuss eggsess Ai aer suffrin frum!
* narrows eyes at stoopy wierd pretzel *
.
* rummage rummage rummage inna bak ruum ob Ty Booteek *
.
Ah, heer yu go Anni – a bottlol ob Rejoobinating Joose, a fut spa, a floofy cheezpeeps blankie adn a cocomonut pololar bear!
*narrows eyez at teh cocomonut*
Thx GP, Ai need sumfing – Ai juss did teh wuss job uv teh Krissmuss – gettin awl teh rest uv teh meet uv teh burd and boilin teh carcuss fur soop.
mmm yesh I has turkeh carcuss in fwidge – wheel be soop laytur!
.
stoopyskwirrlcanutduaneefingrite
there is no such thing as a innosent cocomonut!!
whut yu has against cocomonut? dey awlwais ses teh nycest fings abowt yu!
u must has mist teh fangs givving fiasco.
I had to fite a cocomonut to teh deth.
It almost won.
* pictures skwirrl adn cocomonut in fite tu teh deth *
.
* fawls off chair lolling *
Ai noe haow danjruss dey aer 2. Ai wuns tryed 2 kill wun wiv a hammur and it bownsed up an hitted me awn teh hedd!
* climbs back on chair *
* pictures Anni hammering cocomonut *
* fawls off agen *
*throws cocomonutt at GP*
* rolls arownd on teh fluur wib cocomonut in a fite tu teh deth *
.
DIE COCOMONUT!!!elebenty!!!
.
* bites cocomonut *
* gets horriblol brown fur stuff in teeth *
* frows cocomonut at wall *
* cocomonut bowses awf wall *
* GP ducks, cocomonut juss misses *
* hits cocomonut wib hammer *
* cocomonut bownses up, hits GP awn hed *
* narrows eyes at cocomonut *
* cocomonut is nawt intimidated *
* takes a big run up… *
* pownces awn ebil cocomonut *
AAAHHH DIE COCOMONUT!!!
* cocomonut stands it’s ground *
* GP bownses awf cocomonut, hits wall *
* scampers awai tu get better tools *
*stays bak at a safe distanse*
I tryed to tell u….
* scampers back in waring Karate soot *
HAAAYYYAAAIIIAAAHHH!!!
* GP hits cocomonut wib flying kick *
* cocomonut bownses up, hits GP on hed*
*handz GP vice tu holding coconomut
.
KLONK!!
.
*fur got dat GP tu smawl tu lifting deh vice.
.
Sry bowt dat.
stoopyskwirll, he sez….
cocomonutt is kwite innosent he sez….
*watchez wif an odd mixture of feer for teh GP and satisfackshun*
* puts ebil cocomonut in vice *
* titens FCHRG adn hunnert dollar towel *
* taeks Rokkits awf ACME Lawn Chair *
* fires both rokkits at ebil cocomonut *
* HYOOGE FIREY EXPLOZHUN *
.
.
.
.
.
* cocomonut bownses up, hits GP awn hed *
* throws orinj maus at cocomonut *
* orinj maus bownses, hits GP awn hed *
* applies Mick’s lip creem tu cocomonut *
* cocomonut fur starts tu burn away *
* toxic smoke fills teh ruum *
* cocomonut bownses up, hits GP awn hed *
* battered adn broosed, GP gibes up adn throws ebil cocomunt bak at leeza *
.
.
.
.
.
* cocomonut bownses, hits GP awn hed *
*leeza pulls on hur CRU’s (coconutt retardent unnerwares) with a kwikness*
whut yu sai wii juss nawt yoose cocomonut aneemoar?
wif teh xception of teh nessessary use in teh Montee Python re-enactions….. ifinkso we shud ban teh coconutt from ICHC……
FOREVVER.
Anom!
.
* nod nod *
Couldn’t we get d’Beaker Labs to develop a coconutt substitoot for teh re-enactions? U knowes, just to be teh extry safe.
Dass a gud eye deer.
*offers 2 rub arniker oinkmint awn GP’s broozis*
yesh plz anni… ai has an owchie!
Grate. Nao teh Little Minion and Big Minion DO WANT to trai fitin dems to teh deff!
.
“Gibs us cocomonuts!!” tehy iz yellin.
.
O, de life ov de Flonquaise to 2 Minions of BC! BC duznt pik hims minions for deyr braynes, ifinkso.
as long as teh coconutt substitoots do not get any ideas.
whaaa…….what? you can’t mean no mores coconut and dark chocolate?
.
oh….the sorrow.
well, I wuz really speaking of teh ‘intact’ coconutt, in teh original packaging, shall we say.
Teh coconutt producks, u can has them.
And u can has mine too!
Wot!!! Yoo no lieks teh cocomonut IRL??? Ai thotted wii were TWINS!
*wispers*
I did until Fangs Givving…
I’ll prolly get over it evenchewallee!
dusty kittty
Do Nawt throw dat bebeh owt !!!
just wut ai wuz finkin madamz, kitty better watch owt or be in wastebasket
Oh noa. Aih taek him home wiff mii. WANT
Kleenup in isle 12!
but mebbeh basket full of fun wadded up paper to plai wif (wen kitteh waiks up)
Kitteh maykin it eazier tu cleen up hair.
Hao fawtful ub kitteh!
Dangitall anwyays. My dustpan only has teh dust innit. *pouts*
Here, has some kitteh hares to go wif teh dust.
I has plenty, I took Weezy to teh vet yesterday and she starts shedding by teh handsfulls as soon as she gets in teh carriur.
.
Maybe u can make somthin owt of teh dust and teh kitteh hares?
Is Weezy teh ok?
We gots lotsa kitteh hares here too. Luckily, bof kittehs lurve being combed, to teh point of axing me to do it.
Dust and kitteh hares… dust and kitteh hares… I is not sure whut to make outta that. Mabye…
Abstract artsy thing
Better better mousetrap
Coordinated outfits for teh dustmites
Dongle cozy
E…
oh yas, it was just follo-up from teh UTI stuffs earlier this yeer. She got teh gud report!!
.
lessee… wut else…
.
Earlee warning floof alarm
Fluffeh um… fluff
Gud insulashun for teh ceiling OR teh basemint…
H…
Hamper lining for TTI “delicacies”
Industrial packing materials for coconutts
Juggling kit for beginners
K…
Kitty Klaw twimmerz
LOLpigburglar stash bag
Munniez fur teh Noo yeerz partee
N. . .
i now this not in alpa, alph, uh order, but i seen on tb a purse made of kitteh hairs. dunno ifn id want 1 of them
Happi Caturday ebreebudee!
adn a hawpeh caturdai 2 u awlso!
is otay kyooteh… u mai bez sweepy da hoel dai der. iz goodeh dat wai… ai noe cin do hoemwirk but habs menneh kyoot ours 2 spenz jes wachin uz.
* A large truck wib “ACME” on teh syde pulls behynd teh elebenty fut tawl fence arownd lolcatburglars back garden *
.
keep eet cumming… keep eet cumming… STAWP! Otay, plz tu put dose wons ober dere… uh huh… watch yur fingurs!
.
Hmm… ai did nawt order anee ob dose! well, otay den… ai taek dem awf yur hands, plz tu put ober dere behynd taht fence…
* GP hangs a banner on teh fence *
.
~ Grand Opening in Janyooairy ~
* tries to peer over the fence *
* gets dragged away by angry looking wolves *
.
WAIT! WAIT! I could open this, GP! I’m a celebrity! GP! WAIT!
pfft! ai is NAWT letting YU aneeware neer eet!
.
stoopyrockstarawlwaisgettingmehintutrubble
O hai, GP. I forgetted to thx u 4 teh OLUs. Such a vry… thotful gift.
Scuse mii….but wot ar OLUs? I hadz tew miss boksing dai, alas….
*wispers*
old ladee unnerwares.
*watchez to see wots in teh hyooge box wif shinee paper*
*wispers bak*
Fanks, leesa. I laffeded sew hard I mite haz tew change mai own OLUs!
*sits kwyeetly wif leeza tew see wots in hyooge baux*
Ohai! dere yu is!
.
* takes back OLUs * Fankies, Mick sed hii needs sum gnu wons.
.
* hands HYOOGE bocks wib shinee shinee rapping payper adn beeg red ribbon *
* has an egg sighted *
.
open it open it open it OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT!
*Eyes hyooge box skeptickley*
Whut’s in there? Rabid weasels waring OLUs?
no no no, is nyce prezunt… ai pwomise!
.
lookit dis fais * shows fais * wud dis fais lie tu yu?
Yes!
Whutchoo think, leeza? U think I should open it or runawayfast?
open it!!!!
* brings ober tayblol fur lcb tu put contents ob box awn *
Well… my insurances is all paid up…
*puts on prezzie-opening helmet and protective padding*
*Removes big red bow, puts it on toppa helmet for festive touch*
*Admires shiny papers*
*Carefully picks at one end so as not to tear teh pretty papers…*
*sryup tishusly runs Geiger counter over box*
*continues slowly peeling off papers, being teh careful not to tear it*
* taeks a brake frum cocomonut fite *
* taps littlol fut impayshuntlee *
*Pulls off last piece of shiny rapping papers, folds it neatly and puts it away.*
*turns back to look at present and… *
*faints*
yesh yesh yesh!
.
Ai has bringed yu…
.
A Guinness Piggeh Hamper! eet is chock full ob awl ob teh fings GP lieks tu nom teh mowst!
.
GP starts arranging noms adn dwinks awn tayblol…
*remains fainted*
*twitches and drools a little*
Otay, frum TTI:
.
Melton Mobray Pork Py
Pork Scratchings
Black Pudding
Picallilly
Colmans Mustard
Cornish Pasty
Stilolton Cheese
Cheddar Cheese
Taunton Cyder
Haslet
Roast Beef
Yorkshire Puddings…
oh GP…
*slow sad hedshake*
Ach! Frum Scotchland:
.
Whiskeh
Shortbread
Haggis
Scottish Raspberries (best in teh whirrld)…
Et au Fronschais:
.
Croissants
Brioche
Pain au chocolat
Champagne
Bordeaux…
* forgets whut hii wus doing *
* starts nomming fings *
*remains fainted*
*food crumbs fall onto face from above*
*seez fainted LCB
She won’t missing dis.
*grabbity pawz deh
Whiskeh
Shortbread
Haggis
Scottish Raspberries (best in teh whirrld)…
.
*runzawayfast
itz getting better LCB…
.
GP, u duz have something espeshully shinee in there 2, rite??
* brings in Pate adn Fronsch Bred, still warm frum teh oben *
Oh yesh, yesh, yesh… lookit in teh bottom ob teh box… no, rite in teh bottom… yu will hab tu climb rite in…
*pats LCB gentlee on teh cheek*
u oks?
*isn’t getting any less fainted*
*is completely covered in crumbs*
*slowly comes to*
O, I had teh worstest dream! I was being attacked by a giant prok py… wif coconuts innit!
Frum Lundun u can haz jellid eels (PLEH) an Chelsea buns (berry nommy) Ai can’t fink uv ennifing els dat iz speshul 2 Lundun.
*makes a peanut butter and jellied eel sandwich*
*takes a bite*
*faints*
well… canna say aboot teh pork pi..
but teh coconutts, they is WAY upthred.
*hands LCB a full shampers kitteh floot for recoveries*
oh oh oh ai forgotted:
.
Bakewell Tarts
Russett Applols
Feesh adn Cheeps
Clotted Creem
Scones
Tea…
*drinks shampers*
*revives*
*dives hedfirst into array of fronsch fuds*
so, yu liek yur prezunt?
* brings in a Doner Kebab and a can of Lager *
*nomnomnomnom*
*stops nomming just long enuff to plant a smoo on GP’s hed*
MICK! Get taht awai frum teh tayblol!
.
Sry, ebberywon… ai wheel dispose ob eet.
.
* Grabs Keebab, adds lawts ob chilli saus *
OHM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
* slurps down can ob lager *
.
Otay, fankies Mick – yu can go nao.
.
O adn fankies fur teh sawng – eet wus full ob win adn awesum!
O, so u liked it, then? U knoes I stayed up all nite riting it and learning how to plays teh harpsychord and having a sayawnce to contact Lubhimandskweezehimandcallhimgeorge Harrison to gets permissions to use teh toon.
Yesh yesh, berry mush!
.
but but but yu nose mai enbelope wib mai bonus munnies? eet wus AWL Nomopoly munnies! pfft.
.
O adn teh builolders has tu move yur hawt tub tu get teh erm… fings in. yesh.
Noes! There was some real moneys in there! Enuff for u to hire a phlonquais of ur own! Mabye teh lolpigburglar steeled them?
About teh hot tub… they’re gonna put it back when they’re done, rite? RITE?
Hmm… mebbeh, ai wheel shayke him upsyde down and see whut fawls out.
.
Umm… well, teh gud news is yesh eet is going back… teh bad news is yu mite nawt want tu yoose eet fur a littlol whyle… ai had tu yoose eet fur won ob teh ‘diplays’…
Well… use ur best judgment.
*notices something shiny in bottom of gifty box*
HAY! Whut’s that?
Oh yesh, ai awlmost forgotted whut wib awl teh nomming adn cocomonut fiting!
.
* hands lcb gnu ‘diamond’ encrusted dollar sign bag *
OOOhhhh! Shiny! Thx!
Hay, wait. These “diamonds” is melting.
Hmm… yesh dey mite du taht… aifinkso best tu keep eet sumware cowld, uh huh , yesh.
.
EEP! Ai gotta go, teh cayblol cars arr arribing…
.
{{{cheezfrends}}}
{{{{{GP}}}}}}}}
Waytless bawll ubz fluff
musst habz gawttun swept up inz
awll t3h ekksytement
Behbee Kitteh bed
iz yooneek. Keepz t3h bawll ubz
fluff owtz ubs t3h draft
Behbee Kitteh mayz
stayz heer 4ebbur! Oarz atz
leest ’til Nom Nom tyme!
Jack.
Behbee Kitteh can
has awl dustpans in my house -
ai don’t use dems much.
Ai haz forgettid ware Ai put mai wun!
Anom!
*clappy clap* Dat wuz guud one Jack
Mah speech n-pedamint leedz tu mehnee mizundurstandingz.
*snertz*
There seems to be a large accumulation of kewt in this room…
testing…
agen….
*rings in*
Mt. McKinley!
Corrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrekt!!!!
You have won todays prize of a partially nommed turkee carkass with added gelatinuss bits. Soree.No cash alternaive
The owners reserve the right to feed remains to a Kitteh of their choice.
this shud be up there. reply to LCB
Rassin frassin sassin grrrrrrrrrrrrr W>P!
Esme and Liam say “nom”!
Fern has a jelluss. She sez is hers an I sez NOPE! Winner takes awl .
Barney an Cinders an Fiona an Funny Fin awl say “nom” too!
Riley teh floofey gowldin pup luks awn sadly, her nawt aloud turkey bones.
*Esme and Liam let Fern has some*
Hay why iz dere no cocomnuts in awl uv cheezland? Haomi spozzed tew make dah peenya cowlaudaz?
Ai noes dat leeza-b nawt lieks dem, but ai duz! Der must beh sum sumwares, ai kinna imajin dat we nawt kin hab peenya cowladas in cheezland!
u can has coconutt productks…
but teh coconutt in teh original packaging, THAT’s wot’s teh dangeruss!!
Ai saw up dere teh GP wuz fitin wif wun, why himz nawt jist holed it titely wif talons and peck peck peck til teh cocumnut is ded? Oh. Nebermind.
Dats wat ai wuz finkin, yu problee kin opin one faster den enny ub us!
Lawts ov practus, ai drinkees lawts of peenya cowlawdas. Dey is best wif teh freshlee killed ded cocomnut milk! **starts droolin** Ai spose I cud make up sum dakurees.
Sound guud, parrothead! Start killen dem littlol brown fings!
Ohai Cheezpeeps!
I haz a happee 2day. Teh brudder an himz famlee iz gone, teh wevver is nyse, an I gots howse to myself rite nao!
Woo-Hoo!
Nice! How did yu luk owt fur tu hab da hole haus tu self? Husbin wurkin todai, sew ai gots haus tu self tu! *grabs rhsb by floofy wite paw an duz hapee alone dans wif hur*
Mom an dad are out runnin errands. I hadta run errands too, but beat them home.
Teh wevvers heer is lyk Spring! It wuz so nyse to be ablol to drive wif teh windo down an my arm stickin owt. Ob coarse, I paid foar it laytur, by habbin to brush teh elebenty tanglols outta my hares, but it wuz worf it.
Lotsa peeplols owt awn dere motorsikklols. I wanned to be too, but nawt kno ennywun hoo has wun.
Iz warmer heer tu. Ai has tu beh guud an workout on mai stoopy stepp machine sumtiem tudai. Pleh.
I needs to do dat too. Iz wun of my Noo Yeers Rezolooshuns.
If wii gonna has Cheezmeet in Spring, I needsta looze elebenty pownds!
Dangit! My fone keeps fallin outta my pocket.
I needs biggur pockets, aifinkso. Oar a clippy-fing.
Clippy fing bedder, aifinkso. Husbin lost phone on da roof las week frum owt ub his pokkit…an ub corse sumbuddy steeld it!
My fone is old wun, nawt made enny moar, so it mite be diffykult to find clippy-fing.
I gonna luuk tho. Sum pants I wares to werk nawt has pokkits an I wants to has it wif me awl teh tiem.
Dis my fone. http://www.analytica1st.com/analytica1st/img/sanyo_katana.gif
Iz bloo an I lubs it.
Ai kin hardlee gits intu enny ub mai clothes now! Ai fot ai jes start now. Ai puts on music dat ai liek an jes duz 20 minnits, den tries tu do 30 if ai kin. Wen legs gets tu tired ai jes march round or dans. Ai nawt duz it in frunt ub husbin doh!
Iz pleh, ai nawt wants tu xercise..pleh…pleh Nawt helps dat ai watchin Top Chef re-runs rite now!
I knoes da feelin abowt nawt fittin into menny clothes. An wat fits looks horriblol.
I gots awn skales dis moarnin an it wuz baaad noos.
at least yours prolly didn’t say, OI, only one at a time!!!
No, but I think I heard whimpering.
How’s meat-motoring, Dan?
Dan, I figure with all the fizikul stuffs u hasta do, it be hard foar u to gane teh wate. Nawt troo?
Ob coarse, my metablolism hit teh brakes wen I turned 30.
the day started, sort-of with a moment of sheer terror.
Uh, oh.
Wat happened?
well, we were under a tornado watch and had the attendant rough weather that goes with such things. I had set my alarm to get me up in time to leisurely wake-up and run some errands before going into work. The alarm had gone off and been “snoozed” *mumbles* times. Some where in there, while my eyes were closed, the power blinked…..thus resetting my clock.
So you thought that you had REALLY overslept?
Two words: “Battery backup”. Has saved my hiney countless times.
The nasty weather is heading this direction now, thankyouverymuch.
gotta go check in………..brb
I wake up after a bit thinkin’ “That snooze has lasted a long time hasn’t it?”, sit upright inna bed so as to see the clock. 12:25, and my call is at 1:00, I live 45 miles from work.
.
AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGH!!!
.
The scene of chaos, the pile o’ clean clothes exploding as SHD makes the seemingly futile attempt to find clean show-blacks. Find clothes, put clothes on, restarts…….put clean clothes on is proper order ( I don’t wake-up that well usually), find gear, find FRICKEN KEYS, walk past bathroom and catch glance in mirror.
.
have small heart attack wondering how Borneo made it to TX.
.
get in car and drive like a maniac, bypassing all errands and my coffee.
thanks to glare I cannot see the clock in the car, I’m half-way to work, pull out cel-phone to call steward and let him know I’m gonna be late.
.
Notice time on phone……It’s 11:25……*long bitter sigh*
Borneo?
Bad case of bed-head?
and wot time was it really?
Ai wishes dat fen-fen wuz still legal! Ai losted so much wate wen ai tuk dat…ai wuz a size 6 wen ai meets husbin 12 yrs ago. Now ai in dubbel digits an growin!
Now metabolism messd up frum dat an ai has tu xercise tu git ennywares. Is da pleh fur shur.
KK – Didn’t fen-phen really screw up some other stuffs, tho?
My cuzzin had teh gastric bypass an losted 94 lbs.
Mebbe I shud luk into dat…
Sum peeps got heart valve problims frum it…ai had echo dun wen ai wurk fur cardio dr. Mai hart jes fine, but yeah, it maded sum problims fur sum..it sure wurkd gud tho! Dat wate jes melted off. Aifinks da bypass kinna xtreme! Ai jes wants da majiklol pills!
I donut fink I wud eber do bypass. Teh band-fingy mebbe.
I jes needs to get awf my hiney an awn2 teh tredmill. An eet rite.
But dat stuffs nawt fun.
I wud be too skinny in singlol dijits. I wud lyk to be in lower-dubllols, tho.
Ai wuld settlol fur dat rite now tu!
Wunner if I cud find guy who cud luuk past awl teh extry stuffs an wii cud exersyze togedder.
Moar fun dat way ennyhao.
Dat wuld be grate, ai wuz bery thin wen ai meet husbin, him not happytayl wif meh bein hebby now…ai nawt happy bout it eeder!
Speekin of fones, I gots kweshtun:
How to uze moblol-to-moblol wen dialin? Also, duz mobilol-to-moblil minnits override anytime minnits? I has teh Sprint.
Yu dail teh numbr laik enny udder numbr.
It shud nawt count against yer minnitz, nor against teh minnitz ob teh person yu calld.
Yu shud ask sprint to bee shur. I has Verizon but dat’s hau it werkz ther.
ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (squeak)
teh poofines
teh tinyness
teh sweepyness being so cute and a pun
ACK
iz notprepared
no CHRG D:
*SPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT*
*splort*
CORNY!!