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Ok. *gets kitteh a big tv*
*buys kitteh a cheezburger*
*yoinks teh big tv*
kitteh no can eatz cheezburger has 2 watch himz cholestrol
himz can eatz hearty helfy salmon tho
Wif big screen tv, kitteh can watch cholestrlol in HD.
alrite den, himz can watch cholestrlol in HD
and eatz salmon in IRL
Himz can has ps3 wif bleurai for teh buyingz cholestrlol muveez
oar wuz taht HDL?
I was wondring when somebuddy would make that joke.
Glad it was u!
happeetayle tew oblyge.
and u cayme thru wiv teh RIPPERTON! teh ovver dae!
So — ai iz savin teh kitteh by yoinkin teh TV? Ai lieks dis arrangement. *nod*
Ai wantz a garnish uv teh ‘nip wiv myne, fankew
Ai can haz Krissmuss Cheezburger, plz?
wud that be a ranedeer burger?
Um…. ai duzzint noeing hao to ansur dat kweschun.
…
Ai tried reindeer sausage in Alaska & it wuz bery bery yummeh.
FEED ME NAOW!
Or whut kitteh?
Pointy ends at zero paces
iz two_kittehs aginst wun annipuss a fayre fite?
ebryfing is fair in love and war
an kittehs fite to win not to be fayr
:RAWR
Otay, two_kittehs, wuteber yew sayz. Nyce kitteh. Gud kitteh.
**backs slowly away frum two-kittehs**
I gotted one of those this morning. Esme was patting my face to wake me up. It’s been a few whiles since I trimmed her nails so even tho she wasn’t trying to give me pointy ends she putta hole in my upper lip and drawred bluds. I knoed she didn’t meenit, though.
Her nails got trimmed when I getted up. Luckily for bof of us, she doesnot mind having this done.
Ohai lolcaburglar. Is Esme dewing better? Yew are bery bery bery bery luckee to hab kitteh hoo duez nawt mind gettin nayles dun. Mai Zipper, we jist buy lawts of scratchyposts, sew we nawt become wun!
ZIPPERTON!
O, wait. That’s not rite.
Yeah, I started training Esme when she was still a kitten. At first she bited my hands just a little but in time she learned that it didn’t hurt and I didn’t yell so she just accepted it. Oncet she even falled asleep while I was trimming them! Sometimes she’ll come over to me when she sees me get teh clippers out. I use people clippers, not teh guillotine-style ones.
She’s doing ok, as far as I can tell. Betterer than a week ago, fer shure. She goes to Dr. TinyV-E-T tomorrow, keep ur fingers crossed for her.
*crossez finnerz fur Ezme
yg;y c;dil ey niuut g;uk ytqebh.
.
*uncrossez finnerz.
I thingk I like typing wif uncrosst finnerz bedder.
But, but… u still wish Esme well, rite? RITE?
Uv corse!!! I send hur schmmoooz adn huggzzz. ‘k?
*checks wif Esme*
She says that’s fine, but can u send some tuna treats also?
I ship dem parsel post. Hope dey git dere b4 dey go bad. Wut wif deh lolmas rush and awl…..
*quiet voice*
I doesn’t know how much longer I is gonna has my Esme.
{{{{{LCB}}}}}
{{{{{Esme}}}}}
whutebber tyme u haz lefty, ai hoapez foar it to be gud.
*gets all stingee eyed*
{{{{{{{{{{LCB}}}}}}}}}}
Thx.
If u is at teh works and getting stingy-eyed is not teh convenient, look up and to teh left. This halps reset ur emotions a little.
{{{{{LCB+Esme}}}} gud lucks fur 2morroz’s tiny VET
visit.
**crosses fingers, toez, arms, legs, and eyez**
**Duz nawt care abowt gettin stingee-eyed at wurk**
**Send gud thoughts and obernight tuna treets**
{{{{LCB & Esme}}}}}}
*luks up and to teh left*
*works a littul bit*
fanks.
My OLKs are thirteen now….and u is somewheres I has never been. All my previuss kittehs did not get old enuf for me to has to do teh desishun makings. *sigh* I feels for u, and I will be at that place soon too. Too soon, too soon….
Just thinking bowt having tu say bai tu deh kitty b sew hard.
.
{{{{{{{{{{LCB}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{ESME}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{Liam}}}}}}}}}}
he needz lubz tu.
Oh, LCB and Esme. Many, many hugs and good thoughts.
{{{{{{{LCB}}}}}}}}
{{{{{Esme}}}}}
{{{{{Liam}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{LCB}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{Esme}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{Liam}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{LCB}}}}}}}}}}
O LCB! O Esme! {{{{{{{{{LCB}}}}}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{{{{Esme}}}}}}}}}} Ai pray for the behbe Esme! O mai. LCB, we lubs u and Esme and Liam! Wii holds u up in prayer!
Luv,
KCT
Ai has teh leeky eyezes nao, and ai is at twerk.
{{{{{{{{{{lcb and esme}}}}}}}}}}
From me and Buddy.
{{{{{{{{{{{{lcb and esme}}}}}}}}}}}
jist coz.
I ar crossing mah pawz fur Esme.
I trim deh clauz of boff deh kittehs
demz not lubs it
but aggsept the inevitablol wid a resigned fortitude
taht’s moar lyke mai kittehs too!
Haz ennywun heer tried teh PediPaws? Mah kittehz nawt sew plzd wif teh ideeyuh of claw-trimmin … teh boykatz iz awl bery big & strawng, so ai leevs their claws alone. Teh liddul girlkat iz tiny but haz a big feerce wen she want to — so ai leevz hur claws alone too. Teh pets on teh commershul eever rillee duzzint mind teh PediPaws, or dey iz awl drugged. Ai iz nawt shur which…
*crosses fingurs for Esme*
Yay fir Esme fir feline bedder! An Aim sendin gud thots an hopes dat her chek up wif teh V-E-T gose well! Oh, heers sum treets fir Esme tew!
Secret duz dat in da mornin…nawt kin trim pointy enz cuz him freek out to bad an hims tu hard tu wrestel wif cuz he iz big an git scared easy! Ai jes gits up rite away!
**Sneeks behind KK4 and blows onn her ear, gibbon her a twitchy fais**
*kk4 wunders wai hur suddinly hab twitchee fais* *luuks round* Hay, parrothead, yu noes dat tikkels meh!!
*goes tu tikklol parrothead behind da eer* *now habs puzzlold fais* Hm, nawt sees eers der….HALLO KIN YU HEERS MEH???
Hay why yew yellin at me? Yewz ur insyde boyce, pleez!
lolcatburglar, I trainez mine kitteh’s wehn kitenz, too. I haz no problemz wit snipping nails. TREATS FOLLOWS! Reading other comments, I am to unnerstans that Esme is ill? O dear ceilingcatz, you have my uttermost sympathies. I criez for you, ifn I purrterprnts stuffs correctly.
Esme has been fiting teh sebaceous gland carcinoma all year. She had surgery in teh spring and chemo in teh summer and fall. We’re on teh last chemo drug we can try. She was doing ok until her last visit, when there was growth instead of shrinkage or stability in her masses.
Her appetite is still pretty good — she scolded me for her dinner last night because I was a few minnits late. But we’re losing the battle, as I knew we would and there will come a point soon when there is only one thing left we can do for her. She is also diabetic, pore thing.
At the vry beginning of this year I losed a kitteh to a cancer I didn’t know he had until it was too late. Esme was diagnosed with hers just a few months later. It’s been a hard year, kittehhealthwise.
I very sorry.
{{{{{{lolcatburglar and esme and liam}}}}}}}} I will pray for youse. I know what is like to lose kitty to disease. I got this beyooootiful siamese-angora mix free. What they didn’t tell me was that dis cat be very very sick. After 10 months and a mortgage pmt later, we had to put poor rikki to sleep. we’d fix one thing and three others would pop up. but he was my very furst forebber kitteh and i will nebber forget him. more huggles for youse.
Dat’s BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGEST cheezburger dat I ever seen!
I can has flatscreen, to watch while eating cheezburger?
Wud kitteh liek da nu colone frum Burgr King tu?
I hurd dat is smellz of burgerz
eewww
I mean I lykes deh smell but I no wantz to wear it
or be near sumwun dat smellz lyke a cheezburger
LOL! I herded abaowt dat an want to smell it. I luked on teh BK website but der is no menchun uv it.
itz on da “BK for Felines” website. Bestest seller
dat wuld smell good
http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/
u can has berger-smel!
Iz heer: http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/
Nawt saef fur werk site.
hissy, yu r heer. Ai haz soree fur steelin yer identifime! Ai reel eyez dit a few daes ago when ai tried tu register-nad dere yu alreedee wuz.
Ai not bee yu no mo. Ai bee HissyFit nao.
Will yu hab sum tee nad furgibness?
Ai iz shur dere will be furgibness, HissyFit.
Speshlee since yew rillee diddint doin ennyfing rong in teh nawt-sekkund place. Yew pikked a naem & it wuz jus bery close to sumwun else’s naem. Dat stuff happenz.
*skritches HissyFit behind teh eerz*
Welkum to Cheezland!
Ai iz onord u want tu be liek mi. Fanks!
lawl
Aifinkso dat sweet kitteh jist wantz himz hoomins to luk at him, nawt teh tedabishun. Wut a sweet fais!
himz luks lyke mah boss cat yogi
himz has deh tabby stripes and the white patch on himz chest 2
Ohai two_kittehs! Ur Yogi is sew sweet fais tew! Iz nyce yew eknawlidj kitteh as boss! Probly saves tyme.
himz is the boss of deh haushold
himz bosses ober meh the hubbeh and deh odder kitteh
himz is unapologetic bout being bossy
we also callz him godcat since he eggspekts to be wurshipped no matter
whut himz does
he canz be beree lovee and sweet 2
espeshully 2 me
depends on himz mood
he is quite a kitteh
Dat’s SOME CAT. He’s teriffic, thatz T dubblol e dubblol e dubblol r r r dubblol i dubblol rrr…
Jist kiddin dere two_kittehs, dew nawt bee uff-indid. Fur sum reezon wuz finking abowt Charlottes’ Web earleeur today and cud nawt resist.
parrothead I doesn’t mind
I didn’t ged deh joke dat’s awl
Sound liek a cheer!!
In Charlotte’s Web teh gewse tries to spell ‘terrific” so Charlotte can write in on the web to save teh piggeh, gess yew hab to see it.
Two_kittehs, mai Ripper like dat, him boss ub awl da kittehs an da haus, an wen husbin frend cums tu visit wif him little tiny goggie, him chases goggie an hiss at him wif pointy enz. All da udder kittehs runs and hides frum goggie.
*runs in all outta breff*
RIPPERTON!
Duz lolcatburglar lubz Ripperton?
*nods*
Plz to halp teh confuzzled ….
Wut iz teh “Ripperton” uv wich yew speeks?
oh, iz reel full nayme uv KK4’s “Ripper” kitteh, menshuned abuv, aifinkso.
LCB just lykes to yell teh nayme!
.
.
*nods at nightshayde*
*yells at LCB* RIPPERTON!
Yogi kitteh showed himz pointee endz to mah fren’s large
German shepard huskie mix goggie
himz has cattitude!
Mai Zipper wuz bossy like dat, himz wud puff up and chace enee dawgs (no madder hao larj) outta da yard. Himz wud sit in window surbaying hiz domayne, and if goggies come in yard, him meow meow to go out and chace dem. Weeurd fing, him wuz perfekly docile wif our goggie, eben took naps wif deh goggie.
NO KITTEH. You get dry cat food.
how can Uz be so heartless
:pitiful mreow
LOL. Careful you don’t spoil your kitties. I’ve spoiled my pets with treats before.
2 layte fur deh advise
boff kittehs is spoilt
Mine tew! I treet teh kittehs jus liek Ai wud want tew bee treeted: spoileded rotton!
haow wud u bee abul tew tell if kitteh is spoilt?
.
Acts teh sayme either way, aifinkso.
But kitteh preefurrs beeing spoylt
Catz must rool!
D…
Duzzent cum when called
Eets ur noms
Finds it incunvenyint when U iz in”himz” chair
G…
Grabs awl teh rume onna bed
Hides tings, speshully unner teh fridge an couch
I doan care bout yer petty problems, hummin!
K…
Oops! I lefted owt the J! Iz teh kitteh alfiebit!
Gud ting teh skwirrelgrrrl an Q noes teh hummin alfiebit!
K foar kitteh, comes b4 ennyfing else!
(they) Goes to teh baffroom sink and demands to be put up on it and u has to turn it on for them so they can has fresh waters….
Have to Hand feed tehm their kibble or they won’t eet it….
In teh cold weathers u must let them come under teh covers wif u, if they so desires….
J…..
Ai lubs it when mai kallico curls up under teh cubbers wif mii. Is teh cozee!
Growlz kitteh-wize in froat when displeased
Head bonx not so gentle
Imperiousness exponenshully increases
J…
Just a fyoo moar minnitz nap, pls
Kitteh kant heer u, iz nawt
Lissening.
Moar treetz,
NAOW!
O…
Yu wuld gib kitteh sum bites, wuldnt yu?
**bites kk4**
*swats parrothead wif kwikness* *luuks at paw* Oh, luuk a fedder!! *tikklols parrothead wif fedder*
**gigglols** Hay, dat’s wun preddee fedder yew got dere!
ai doan fink dats teh tipe awf bites kk4 waz lukking 4.
Das rite, ai asks fur nom bites an ai gits pointy parrot beek insted!
O, wuz jist a littlol luv bite! Hay, mi beek nawt pointy, iz genteelee curvid!
Spa sifick kitteh needs to be moar spa sifick!
psst…hey hoomin…luk ober heer!
get it???
*waitz payshuntlee 4 teh cheezburgur lite tew illumm…illoomi…shinee in hoomin’s braynbox bone*
Lulz. Nice.
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
tat what mine cat doz
phew, oh mai, burfday fairy haz had a bizzee day so far today!! but heer she iz to wish a big HAPPEE BURFDAY to all teh cheezfrenz, lolfrenz, noofrenz, lurkurfrenz, and eben teh trolz hoo iz habing tehms burfdays today!! i haz bringed a piknik ob cheezburgers wif all yor favrite toppings, tater chips, sody pop, i skreem, poynty party hats wif pompoms (an a speshuly-made wun for LCB to fit ober herz lites wifowt eben catching on fier!) an goodie bags wif bownsy balls wif glittery glittr taht floates arownd inside!!, liddle mini video games liek teh wuns in teh Happi Meelz (we haz sonik, gitar heero, skatebording, an more!), kandees, an puffy pololar bear stikkers wif googly eyes!! i not haz had time to wurk teh konfetti makers, so heer iz smiles an sunshinez insted:
☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼
☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺
☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺
☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☼ ☺ ☼ ☻ ☼ ☺ ☼
o birfday fairy, u so gud tu us…..
.
*takes pololar bear stikker and stikkz it on deh lappytop
*Smilolz at deh pololar bear adn finkz uf Fleep.
Ohai burfday fairy! **grabs tater chips and i skreem, mixes dem tugedder, nom nom nom** Wut, yew neber tried dis? Iz nommy!
Kinda liek eetin fronsch fries wif a vanillol shaek. Awlso bery nommy!
Yah! Nightshayde unnderstanz! **wispers** sum peeps at my pleh wurk laffs at me fur dippin my fries in my shaek, call me stoopy.
Salty + Sweet iz a bery gud combinayshun, aifink! Ai saw on Food Network (on Unwrapped) a storee abowt cookies dat iz maed wif tater chips & iz sellin bery well. Dere iz a recipe in a cookbook ai haz fur cookies wif tater chips innem — ai will haz to try to maek dem. Ai haz a big curious.
**luks hopefully at nightshayde*** Dew yew finkso yew will maek enuff tew shayer?
Ai iz shur ai will — an if dey iz nommy, ai kin send yew teh recipe.
**Duz happee parrot dans** Fank yew fank yew nightshayde!
has u ever had teh kettle korn? mmmmmmmmmmm
or just try cinninininininom sugar on popcorms! mmmmmmmmmm
Dis myte be showin mai routes, but (hehe) we drawpz teh sawlted peenutz into our soda! Nom nom nom.
yew ebber put goobers inna co-cola and watchit foam?
Ai sumtiemz puts teh super-fine sugar on mah extra buttery popcorm. Itz bery nomilicious — an it keeps mah liddul gurl frum eetin mah popcorms (she nawt lieks teh sweets). Ai hazzint tried teh cinninininininom sugar onnit — but ai will haz to try dat. Ai luvs cininininininom toast — so aiz shur ai wud liking dat on popcorms.
ai will has to tri boaf ov dese!
*puts on speshul hat, noms burgers and plays min-gitar-heero*
Nyce hat!
*snatchez a bounsy ball wif glittur*
*bounsez it off LCB’s hed*
HAY! Kwitit! I’m almost outta replacerment blubs!
Dew nawt wurry, in a cupla daiz dey will be haff prys!
but itz a verra sawft ball!
*pouts*
okays.
hay, I has lotsa those big brite bulbs at home! I’ll bring sum in tomorrows for u!
anyfing else u needs?
AC/DC connextions?
Bulbs that blinks?
Crissmuss wreeths to go wif teh lite?
Doublol shot of lolmas cheer
Extry blubs, just in case. Make that 2 cases.
Festive decorations for teh rest of me.
G…
Glittury i-lashez (for unner teh missle toes)
Hollies to go wif teh wreeths
Icicles!! Teh tinsel ones, to hang on, uh, wutever u wants to hang them on…..
J……
Jelllo shotz
Kapshunz fur Esme adn Liam
Lotz uv Fyremenz
M…..
Mt McKinley, all decormated for teh lolidaze
NGs, Y, to hang lites on ur house
One big shinee star for teh top of ur tree
Plonquais, many of tehm, to serve ur applol joos…
Q….
*steelz a hadnfull uv LCB blubz.
.
Now ur only haf-lit!!!
.
Whisspurrz:
pssst…..datz bedderer dan being a haf-wit.
Oar a dim wit!
I herd that!
skwirls r littl dumb. dey just need to b stil 4 one second. *wispers* dey have ADD
**wispers** I heerd dey hab SUBTRACT too!
yesh. dey veries smart
Nao Ai haz a kunfuzed!
… we can also have MULTIPLY too….
but if u fink skwirrlz r dumb, just try inventing a skwirrl proof burd feeder!
I rests my case.
tru…. dey also acrobats!!!
we is very teh bendy.
If yew DEEVIDEZ, dew yew Konker?
noes.. divided we falls!!
united, we rools teh whirled!
or wot’s left of it after GP is done…
LOL — videyoh gaem refrunz to boot!
**Ponders wut rools whirlling skwirrls cud have**
All whirl in dah sayme direcshun
Bump intew each udder, try nawt to
Castanets are allowud onlee on Caturday
D…
facilitates that multiplyin’ thing, I bet.
*snerk* (ai akshullee audiblee snerked at mah desk!!)
LOL!!!
Intew da barn?
:snerk:
Y u guise bein’ teh means to me? *sniffs*
its k, LCB… *pats on bak* u on supr nice list! dat make u fel beter?? *gives truckload o’ toys*
*wipes away tears*
WOW! All that 4 me? Is ok if I shares wif teh chillrens I halps?
dats purrfect!! u iz da best lolcat evr!!!
Don cri, LCB. Santa sayz “yew bedder watsh owt, yew bedder nawt cri.” Don tayk no chanses wif da big gui! **Gibs lolcaburglar liddle schmoo on head, burns beak** Hay, dat hat is geddin hawt!
ya. dat not nice. dere is stil time 2 put u on nawtee list 4 santa
yaaaa!!! go guitar hero!!
Ai iz at lebel elebenty, wut lebel yew at?
Cheezburgers. U go drive throo. Nao. Kthx.
ooooh….iz cheezburger in hi-def……
Yow!
Subtletee… ai duz nawt haz et!
PowerPoint Kitteh
uses only one slied
How do you do that smilie? It’s so cute!
mmmmmmm nom
I dont get it
hey thats funny i bet that cat could eat dat whole burger