Tokyo Capsule Hotel
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nawt so cumfee akchoolee
claws-trafobic awlso
well, watcha want for tawp o’ tha thread, and to increase yer cumfort.
Dunno reelee, Ai juss had lunsh an it’s 2 erlee fur affernoon tee an Ai haz 2 go owt soon 2 deliber 12 Krissmass cards to nayburrz.
OHai – an teh favulolsi Conga Ratz dansing teh tehre festive elf an Santa outfits fur Annipuss an stagehanddan!
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And – izzit too layte to start a “COME AS YOU ARE” party???
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Well – Ai’ll do it eneway! If ai’m teh onlee wun – well. . .LOL!!
Remburr hao it goes — yoo hav to say waht yoo ar waring RIGHT NOW!! And tehn bring an nice pot luck dish ov somekind. We can cawl this”Brunch!” Shud over just about ebreewun!!
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Ai’m still in mai nitegown, an ai have mai verree warm fuzzy bloo an white LONG bathrobe over it!
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And ai’m bringing sum nice choklit biscotti – an pots an pots ov UrlGrey tee to dip tehm in. Wif demara shugar fur those needing that. Splenda an lemon alwso heer.
Iz warin hyooj woolly swetter ober turlolneck ober swetpants. The Pacific Northwest (wich i wantz to rename “Pacific WestNorth” or PWN for short) can has icy storm todai. Also giant sox an sheep slippers.
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I has loafs ov crabnery bred maded by mai siskat, hoo dus rly gud job. Can has wif nuts or wifout. Gud in morning (wich it iz heer) or afternoon (wich ifinkso iz in TTI).
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Adn cawfee! LOTS of cawfee!
um, ahm wearin a towel, all da clothes inna washer, and I’m onna way to da bathtub.
80
Hey, why diddna mii 80 werk? It waz spose tew be teh shockie fais cuz SHD’s towel felleded off!
0_o
nebber fail shockie iz : shock :
ov corse, taek away teh spayces. . .
Testing….
Yay! Fanks, Janet. Yur sew smarties!
*walkz past Janet and spinz deh propeller
*on hur Geek Hat (wpoi)
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U go, gurl!!
cweenmj, lolcatburlar, Teho, gibbocat, Maus. . .just to nayme a few. . .
Teh uvver wai to do
iz to type 8 den O (dats capitul o, nawt zero)
OOOOOO, dat waz mai booboo, anni–Ai typeded the zero!
Ai waz tinking about yew this mooring, cuz Ai was munching on teh Digestive biscuits! Ai treat maiself once in a wile cuz dey costs tew much munnies heer, but I lubs dem. Ai did discubber once tho dat der iz a reeson fir teh name ob dem an yew bedder nawt eet tew mani!
Ohai, 2minions an JCH4K an spechally PWN cheezpeeps hoo iz sufferin wif teh icy strom todai!
I iz wearin a log sleebed nitegown AND Pj bottoms 2. Barefeets, tho, az alwais.
I brotted keeish tew tah brunch…wiff hams an spearigus init.
Mmmm teasel, dat sound guud dis morning!! *takes sum keesh* Oh, yeah, dats da win!!
From the skinside out:
silk long underwear, tops and bottoms, patterned like a tiger
a red long-sleeved t-shirt
green zip-up wool sweater
red sweatshirt, with hood, with Wisconsin on the front
sweatpants from Boston Latin High School
woolie coks
Birkentcok sandals
And I’m bringing devlied eggs made from pickled eggs stained with beet juice. These are bright fuschia and the yolks are sulfur yellow. Sprinkled with capers for more color appeal.
And a large pitcher of Bloody Marys
Dat soun guud tu! *takes a few debbild eggs dat is red an lellow* *pours bloody mary* Wat a wundermus mornin dis turnd out tu beh!
*enable stealth mode*
*sneaks in* pours industrial sized Bloody Mary, shakes healthy amount of Tabasco *sip, swish, swaller* hmmmm. *shakes littul more Tabasco*
*sneaks out, exunt to bath*
Ah!! ai see! Yoo an Bloody Mary ar exunt-ing!
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Ai had a confoozeld there fur a minnit!!
Me too! My hi skool lolatin, let me show u it.
“veni, vidi, visa”
I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
ohai Q, silks r teh BEST! but WHAR did u gets teh tyger stripee wuns??? myne r all either blak oar off-white. no tygers!
Ohai, Tessm. The brand name is “Winter Silks” – I lurvs them!
Ai is lurkin today, but will com in fur brunch. Ai gotz a floofy fleece robe and blu long-tshirt nightgown an men’s size 16 floofy sox. Iz 6 degrees farenheit outsiede today, so ai am bringin a big pot of hot oatmeal – teh reel stuff, nawt dat “instant” glu.
Ai lurves teh REEL stuff!! ai awlwaiz use teh steel cut Irish. Iz that waht yoo laik?
I lubs et tew an I awlwais use teh steel cut Irish! Iz teh bestest!
If it nawt tu late fur da brunch, ai wanna goes to! Ai iz still in wat ai slept in, ai iz warin flannel leopurd print pj bottims wif biege fuzzy soks, swetshirt dat sez Roof Construction on da front, gray hoody swetshirt an ai nawt brush hare yet!
Ai am bringin rodeo eggs, wich is eggs cuukd in tomato sauc wif bell peppers, onions, melted cheez on da top serbd obber toast. Kin ai brush hare, or shuld ai throws on Padres ball cap?
dew whut ye wish wif yer hair, I meself bear a startling resemblence to one of the “wild men of Borneo”
Can yoo send foto pleez????? ROFL!!
oh HAIL noe!!!
Aw, we culd mek lolz frum it!
Heer mai lol
Borneo called
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*Dans pik*
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Dey wants der hairstyle bak
oooooo-hoohoo, dat’s a gud one.
plz plz plz, shd, plz
one of the possible uses is birth control, one good look at that….and all desire just melts away. that, or “If you fool around……you could end up with one of THESE!!”
Mai gramma telld meh dat alka seltzer wuz da bestest birf control, ai sez alka seltzer, an hur sez yesh, hold it between yur knees til yu gits home, yung ladee!
Dere wuz ah yung ladii naed Wilde,
Whu kepp hurselb kwite undefiled,
Bai finkin ob Jesus, contagious deezeezuz,
Adn habin ahn unwanted childe…
iz wut mai Mama toled mii….
LOLZ smammie!!!
Maybee eben Chrismas cards!!
Surprize ar frens wif suthing diffrent fur a chanj!
Santa gone wrong!!
KK, mai beard (such as it is) isn’t that white/silver…..yet.
How bout Santa…in da 60’s
Mai husbin finaly shave beard…wuz gettin tu gray. He make dis goatee fing frum it…Woo Hoo!! Ai likes it!!
ohai kk4! weird, mai DH just shayved hiz beerd too! wuz hiz way uv couwntin down dayz too his big sabbatikal vacayshun.
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ai haz nawt pakked ennyfing
ai haz nawt finnished mennee pre-trip chorez
ai haz nawt even gotten teh littlol gift ai wantid to get foar kimkiwi
ai haz too much inlawz (tehy r howse sitting)
ai haz crabbee kittehs cuz aifinkso tehy noes sumfing iz up
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kan ai just stay heer wher iz fun pls?
*puts arm roun tessm* Iz much more fun heer, aifinkso! Also wen husbin unnerfoot in da footure, yu mite wanna stay heer fur most ub da day!!
ai doo mai nightshayde impresshun heer:
*nods vigoruslee in agreement*
Or….
Borneo wuz strangly quiet
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*Dan’s pikture*
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Wen da wildman went tu brunch
A hole noo TV series! Oar a moovie maybee!
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Oh! teh pawssibillities ar dazzling!
Oar hao bowt dis:
Borneo cawled
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SHD pic
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Dey wants dere wyldman bax!
Gud wun BDM!!!
Y fanxu mah queen!
Do it, BDM!! Ai will adds tu favrits page!! Sumone need tu sneek in wif camra, aifinkso! Wont SHD be thrilld tu beh on da frunt page!!!
Wii hash tew get da pix ub shd nawt sekkond!
Just wun werd. Fotoshop!!!
Gud deel, we kin arrive wild an free! Dis pretteh brave, aifink, tu hab peeps cum as dey are in da mornin!
oh, KK4, teh rodeo eggs sounz gud! ai kan haz resipee?
Oh ya, tessm. Ai one ub dem suthern cooks, ai nawt uses recipes much, but heer wat yu duz…
Needs skillit tu cook in
Saute onions an bell peppers in budder till dey luuk rite
Den add can or two ub tomato soss…kin also sdd drained tomatos in der
Salt an pepper
Den simmer fur a while, taste tu see if yu needs sumfin else in der
Wen simmerd fur a while (nawt tu long aifinkso) crak open sum eggs intu da simmerin stuff
Cover fur few minutes, wen eggs luuk almost done, put slices ub chedder cheez obber da top ub da eggs
Wen cheez melted, scoopy out an puts obber toast!!
Iz da guud stuff!!
fankyoo muchlee!
sounz lyke sumfin ai kan eezilee mayke inna RV when we iz onna big trip!
O hai. I had a lie-in this morning so I just getted up about a hour ago. I is waring teh black swetpants wif sporty doublol white stripe down teh legs. I usedta ware these when I was on teh improv “farm team” a few years ago. I is waring a cotton croshay top wif 3/4 lenth sleeves that on me is just about long-sleeve lenth. Teh top is royal blue which rly brings out teh blue in my
eyeslites.I also has white cotton socks on. Normally I goes barefoot in teh house but I putted some lotion on my super-dry feets and teh socks prevent me from slipsliding around.
I brang a hyooge platter of baglols and lox. Teh baglols is teh fresh and not ones buyed in DC, but impoarted from NY, where they does them rite. U can has them toasted or not so much and there is creem cheez and red onion and capers and butters and whatever else u wants onnem.
Dat sound reely guud, LCB. Once yu hab a fresh bagel, der is no wantin da udder ones!! Iz liek 2 diffrint fuuds! An lox tu!!
Whare I growed up in Cleveland there was teh good deli, which is teh one thing sorely lacking around whare I libs now. There is many “bagel bakerys” but is not teh true kwality. There is one in teh lobby of my orfis bilding and I have learned to make do wif it, but when I order teh Nova Lox, I has them dubblol toast my bagel to approximate teh texture of a proper baglol.
Nawt sew many ub doze guud deli’s out heer…ai still member a place in Sanbernardino dat had da absolute bestest bagels ai ebber had! Warm, wif dat littlol crunch on da outside. Tu dis day ai nebber had one bedder! Ebben da bagel shops out heer nawt kin duz it rite! Pleh tu dem!
We has a wunnerful bagel bakery heer in C’ville, Va, of awl playces. In fack, dere are free uv dem, all wif teh saem naem. Dey useded to be owned bai wun purrson, but he soled dem to diffrent peepls. Berry nommy bagels, an grate soops an sallids, too!
Guess ai is too laet fur teh partee, but I is warin a green swetsuit wif a red turtleneck. (Wore teh red t-neck to church wif moar propper church closes.) Ai is bringin a big plate of “Scotcheroos” in kase dere is ennywun lef at teh partee.
NEVEER too layte fur teh partee!! an yoo ar dressed very festivelee Nice seesonal colours!
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Scotcheroos??? Ai havn’t had them!
*takes a Scotcherooo frum teh playte*
*nibblols a bit*
Yum!!!! Yoo can awlwaiz bring tehm to teh partees!
*munches down teh rest ov teh Scotcheroo an taeks another!*
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Thanks, Cassidy!!
Scotcheroos?
*instantlee attrackted due to teh name*
*looks at plate*
They is cookies?
*crest falls*
I was thinking they soundled liek minichur little mens in kilts.
Oh well, if teh partee’s still on, I had on swett pants and a brite red turtlolneck, and I has freshlee baked punkin cranberrie bred!
Scotcheroos be made wif peanut butter, Karo, sugar an Rice Krispies. Den yu melts teh choklit chips (or choklit an butterscotch chips) an puts over top. Wen dey is cool yu cuts dem into skwairs. Berry eezee an berry yummee!
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If yu is makin dem for a partee or any otter get-togedder yu had best maek a dubble batch, or dere won’t be enny left fur yu!
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Glad yu liek dem, JCH4K! An LOL to yu, Leeza-B — minichur mens in kilts *snikur*!
Noo York bagels – do want. U cannawt get a decent bagel in dis country for luv nor monies.
I picked teh lox just for u!
*heddesk*
HED
DESK
FAYSE
PAW
Groooooaaaaannnnnns
ohai ebberywun an JCH4k, ai notissed we iz apparuntlee havin a PAJAMA partee!! ebberywun iz playin inna PJ’s!
ai haz on a SS tshurt, a LS tshurt anna big ol red fleece, plus green pantz an blak slippers an a payr uv HANDKNIT WOOL SOX.
iz BRRR heer todae! lotsa fluffy whyt snow an teh treez all luuk very purty.
whups, ai fergotted. ai bringz Twinings Vanilla tea and crunchee peanut butter granola bars. (iz whut ai haz fur bkfst evvery singul dae!) oh, an sum palmiers az a brekfast treet!
Well, to share a little too muches, I don’t ware PJs. I putted on my Come As U Is outfit when I gotted up.
Thank Ceiling Cat for flannlol sheets.
I got out of that habit on tour. When the truck alarm went off, and niether of us could find our clothes. A Motel 6 handtowel doesn’t give much shelter from the elements.
moar
Dan wuz waring just a towel!! Hunnert Dollar wun, purrrhaps?
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An – up HAIR entlee – a LOT ov hair!!
“I want long, straight, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty,
oily, greasy, fleecy, shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen,
knotted, polka dotted, twisted, beaded, braided,
powered, flowered and confettied, bangled, tangled, spangled and spahettied.
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Hair, hair, hair.Flow it, show it,
long as God can grow it, my hair”
Oh da cowsills!!
teh Rado, Ragni, & McDermott!
Tho teh Milosˆ Forman film vershun nawt so bad, eivver.
I iz tekin a payj from StageHandDan’s book an doin my Lady Godiva impresshun: hair an nawt much else. ‘Cept for teh Kitteh strateejically drapd ove teh lap. She invited purrself.
WARDROBE UPDATE
I is now accessorized wif a orange tabby draped acrost my bosom.
oh, iz teh lubblee-est uv aksessorees!
And it’s already gone. Went to teh other couch to hedbat my calico accessory.
u gonna hav OK xmas staying hoam?
iz gud u can taykes care uv Esme, at leest.
I think it’s gonna be teh OK. I has nevereverever been home on teh Xmas. Always wif teh fambly in Ohio. Not havening to make all teh arrangemnets and drivings this year is a wunnerful thing. I sended their prezzies last week. I will goes to visit teh fam in a ‘coupla months.
Ur trip involves moar planning and moar packing, but is a one-time thingy, rite? Imagine doin’ that evry year!
Speshul hed bonkz tu Esme.
{{{Esme & LCB & Liam}}}
self-adhearing as well
Ai gots Ripper on mai shoulder rite now…him has noo fing ware him pesters meh wen ai on computer an climbs up leg wif pointy enz. Him likes tu bee up on shoulder insted uf lap, as soon as ai puts him up der him purrs wif loudness. Iz balancin act tu keep him on shoulder an type.
mai littlol Mia iz clymbin on me, teh desk, teh windowsill, me, teh chayr, an me.
naow she is hedbonkin me foar pets.
An den win yu sits on da sofa an wants tu pet dem, dey ignores yu liek onlee kittehs can! If ai wants Secret tu sit on mai lap, ai has tu hab blankee obber lap, ai calls him an pats da blankee, den ai has tu luuk up at da ceiling or at da tv, den hims will sit in lap, but nawt if ai luuks rite at hims!
u noes teh basemint kittehs — tehy lykes to bee teh mysteereeus.
Ai lubs mai Secret sauce!! Him has takken obber da top ub da cat tree, he der rite now. Aifinks is warmur up der, an udder BC Baby always wanna play wif him, an Secret nawt want tu plays. Secret hiss an put eers bak…him luuk like meen panther kitteh wen Baby wanna play. Mommy, da udder BC nawt liek ennyone…Her so littlol, onlee bout 5 pds., hur Secrets mommy (hence da creative name) Win hur hiss, hur gots da ebil face an luuk liek da alien munster in da moobies!
RIPPERTON!
ai wuz wayting foar that!
Is like when u does teh “shave-anna-harecut” knock wifout teh “Two-bits” at teh end, innit?
ba dum, bump!
*snkrs* Ai trys nawt tu menshuns him too much sew yu nawt feels oblygated tu amuse us….but ai lubs it!
Yu da brave won, LCB. Ai always fraid der gonna beh a fire or sumfin, den der ai will beh, nekkid as jayburd, hauling kitteh carriers out ub da closit, scarin away da fyremins!!
I has a baffrobe that I keeps by teh bed. When I gets up I puts it on, evein if I is gonna go get in teh shower immediatley after after teh morning staff meeting and kitteh-feeding.
Duz yu has lectric blankee? Ours is borkd…so ai has lawts ub flannel qwilts on da beds rite now. Is da funneh doh, ai cold an gets in bed wif awl da blankees on top, den git hot flashee an awl blankees off….on…off…on…off!!!
Ai finkso dat cud be LCB’s idea ob a gud nite owt!
Nawt sekond, conga ratz shoelasis fur furvest frum bottum.
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Fur da Comes as Yew R Party:
Ai has dark purplol fuzzy slippers, and lite purplol sawx, jeenz, Tshirt wif a mafs joek (An abstract Algebra exam, wif a calolculator dat says “Your calolculator cannot halp yew nao!”)… a haircleep tew holds mah red hairs, and tew rings,anna nekklass.
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An ai habs fresh bred fur da party!
Jeenz, winturr bootzez, turklenek, gray flannul shurt.
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Ai’z can haz brung teh fronsch bred (cuppla loafesez), teh Alsayshun munster (nuffing lyke USA munster (plehpleh)), sum nummy bree, adn
salmin roe caveear.
mmm! le pain Fronchais!
OHai eberybuddy! Ai hopes ai is nawt too laet for brunch (ackshully is neerly dinner time heer in TTI) – ai has had a bery bizzy afternoon dekoratin mai tree.
Time to assemble “EZEE instant tree stand” – 25 minnits
Time to unrap tree – 40 minnits
Time to cleer up awl teh tree rappin – 15 minnits
Time to put tree in stand – 10 minnits (lawtsa swarin)
Time to find krissmuss dekorayshuns in garrij – 2 howrs
Time to find transformer for lites – 35 minnits (ackshully ai fownd it bai acksident wehn ai wuz lukkin for sumfin else)
Ackshul time spent dekoratin tree – 10 minnits.
Phew, ai is eggs horse ted.
Anyway, ai is warin mai cumfy jeens (dey is bery cumfy in fact becaws teh zip borked yesterday, so dey is nawt rilly sootable for company – plz to eggscews) an mai noo pink cashmeer swetter which is rly rly pink an rly rly sawftee an best ob awl – wuz 30% awf!!! Ai finkso it is now time for drinkies, so ai offers eberybuddy mai speshul crissmuss cranberry martoonie. Cheers!
ohai martoonie! oooh! pink cashmeer! ai can petz u onna sholder a liddul bit?
Lol, ob corse tessm! Ai mai purrrrrr….
Ackshully, awn refleckshun, was prolly nawt teh bestest choice ob clothing to hunt around in teh garrij an manhandle (womanhandle?) teh tree but ai wuz too layzee to go get changed.
oh, fankyoo! just a littlol bit to feel teh softee… ai promis nawt to mat teh prittee pink cashmeer!
ai am big fan uv mohair, maiself, an ai knits me nyse furry swetters.
an DH noes “pls to NAWT be matting teh mohair!”
Ai likes teh mohair too, but it duz maek me sneez. An ob corse, u needs a lawt ob mos to maek a swetter.
*snort* “lotsa mos” Hee!
sigh
ai hasta go start traynin teh inlawz on where stuffs iz at an how to feed teh kittehs an, an, oh, pleh.
wuz fun partee! fankyoo JCH4K!
Take a martoonie wiv u, tessm, ai finkso u mite need it!
sowndz like u kud uze 3 oar 4 uv deh martooneez!!
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Adn ur tree… It lukz Fabuluz!!!!!!
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*Sipz martoonee……
Cheerz!!!
Why fank u, your cweenness! Cheerz!!
Ai lubs yur swetter! Mai ai tuch it? *touches swetter* Oooh, soft! Fanks fur da martoonies, dey is wunnerful!! Yu mus beh glad dat yu dun wif awl dat!
Fank U, KK4, is bery sawftee. Ai is habbin a rest nao, but soon – ai must go rap awl teh prezzints. *sigh* I can has wife plz?
LOLZ, martoonie!! Ai member sayin dat tu husbin wen ai gits home frum wurk! Ai tells him dat ai needs a wife so ai kin jes sit an do nuffin wen ai gits home!
An heer iz teh whether we ar having today!! An wai ai am laik to stay in mai warm floofy robe awl day!
And here is out weather for today going into tomorrow! I think we’ll be staying in today!!
In additions to the cold air and wind chills, . . .lake effect snow is expected to increase in intensity Sunday afternoon into Monday morning, , ,with the heaviest snowfall expected tonight into early Monday. The combination of strong winds. . cold wind chills and snow will create dangerous conditions
In addition to the snow. . .strong west to northwest winds of 25 to 35 MPH with gusts to near 50 PH along the lake shore will continue into Sunday night. This will create blowing and drifting snow as well as dangerous wind chills ranging from 10 below zero closer to the lake to as low as 25 below zero well inland.
A winter storm warning means severe winter weather conditions are expected. Significant amounts of snow are forecast that will make travel dangerous. Only travel in an emergency. If you must travel. . .keep an extra flashlight. . .food. . .and water in your vehicle in case of an emergency. Strong winds and dangerous wind chills will create potentially deadly conditions. . .especially for those that become stranded outside.
No thank you!!!
Waal, if joo getz it tooday, Ai’z prolly gunna getz it tomorrow – aiz awn teh Norf Coast alsotoo, but furver East. Good fing Ai’s awn teh vakashun foar moast ov teh rest ov teh yeer…
Wee hadz 8″ or sew Friadai, adn 2″ las’ nite…
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(2 teh toon ov “Oh, What A Beautiful Morning”)
There’s a snowmobile out in the meadow…
There’s a snowmobile out in the meadow…
And the drifts are as high
as an elephant’s eye
And it looks like the snowflakes are starting to fly….
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Oh, what a Rochester morning,
Oh what a Rochester day.
I hear the weatherman saying
Six to twelve inches today.
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There’s a cold air mass comin’ from up north…
There’s a cold air mass comin’ from up north.
And the Yukon Express makes a terrible mess
And when it will stop is just anyones’ guess…
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Oh, what a Rochester morning,
Oh what a Rochester day.
I hear the weatherman saying
Six to twelve inches today.
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(2 teh toon ov “Oklahoma”)
Weeeeeeeeeest-ern New York
Where the wind comes sweepin’ ‘cross the lake
And the rain it brings,
Soaks everything, till it suddenly turns into flakes!
And they we saaaaaaaaaaaay – OY!
It’s cold outside todaaaaaaaaaay – VEY!
We’re only sayin’
Your freezin cold, western New York,
Goin’ inside…. OK?
I’m Cold, your Cold, we’re Cold,
Western Neeeeeeeeew York!
BRRRRRRRRRR!
@@@@@!!
*clappity clappity clappity*
*clappity clappity*
sendin u hawt choklit anna blankie woozled, sownds liek ur goin to need it!
*hops up an down, clappin a wisslin* Heer is handmade quilt to keeps yu warm!!
Bwavo!! Bwavo!!!
Dat soooo fabuluzzez!! u sew witty adn charming… I sangded ur songz tu mai huzbin adn he laffinged!!!!
{{ JCH4K}}
Taht mai bee sew, butt Ai haz a skeletun in mai kloset.
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Oh, Wait.
I maked soop.
Ohai woozeled!
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Ai used tew lib in Rochester… Chili, akshually (an ai noes yew noes it nawt sed lii da stuphs yew eets!).
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Ub coarse, when ai moobed awai, ai moobed tew won ub da onlee plasis awn Earf dat be da cowlder!
> it nawt sed lii da stuphs yew eets!
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Oanlee in WNY can LEroy from LeROY take his girlfriend CHARlotte to CharLOTTE, and then to CHAI-Lie for CHIli.
Egg Zakly!
Brava! Author! Author!
It are AI!
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Ai has moar… 2 teh toon ov “I’m just a girl who cain’t say No…”
I know it’s not a matter of just dressin’ in thin layers (pr: lairs).
I dress like that & still I freeze my buns.
I like the sun and warmy breezes blowin ‘roun’ my hairs
But twelve below is just, to me, no fun!
.
Ah’m just a girl who cain’t take snow.
Ah’m in a turrible fix
Ah starts to say ‘It’s south I’ll go’
An’ then, my Paw he says ‘NIX’!
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When it starts to snow’n’ ’bout Halloween
The snow it starts a creepin’ up my thighs
Ah start thinkin’ a-bout Floor-Eye-Duh
An’ warm an’ sunny clear Carribean skiiiiiiiiiies….
(refrain)
.
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Hokay, last wun… 2 teh toon ov “Everythings Up to Date in Kansas City”…
(name of village changed to protect my sanity)
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Everything’s out-of-date in our li’l village
We’re so inbred we’ve all got seven toes
Downtown they got a gun shop next to the liquor store
You can get loaded at one, and then get loaded again next door
The Post Office ‘cross the way has got a bullet-ridden floor
They’ve gone about as far as they can go (Yes, Sir!)
They’ve gone about as far as they can go.
Everything’s out-of-date in our li’l village
But learnin’s something every kid can get
I’ve read every book in the library
- Don’t give me funny looks –
It doesn’t take that long to get thru half-a-dozen books
And onct you’ve used the magazine, well, that was all she took,
They’ve gone about as far as they can go (Yes, Sir!)
They’ve gone about as far as they can go.
Plenty of culture here in our li’l village
En-trance yourself with something on the stage
We’ve got a new the-a-ter they call it the P-A-C.
The only problem is the actors got no place to pee
And with no dressing rooms there’s plenty more than show to see
And that’s about as far as they should go (Yes, Sir!)
They’ve gone about as far as they should go.
———————————————————–
*side note – we really do have a liquor store next to the gun shop in the little village where I live, and they are across the street from the PO, and the school really did build a fancy new theatre (Performing Arts Center) with no dressing rooms or bathrooms backstage – or accessable without going out where you can be seen by the audience. Oh – and you gotta picture a motion implying wiping butt on the ‘used the magazine’ line.
———————————————————–
Taht’s awl naow – Elvis… uhh woozled cand haz leeved teh bilding.
Kthxbye
Yur talonz, deer woozled, ar FAR grater tahn ai ebber thot!! LOL!!
*sigh*….I always get the rowdy neighbors
Ai alwaiz get teh room bitween sumwun wiv a coff an anuvver hoo snoarz!
Adn dey iz matchen pairs too.
Skweee!!!!!!!
.
Wut a bunch uv kewteez!!!!!
Aw, teh kewtnezz iz killin me!
*Fallz ded from overload*
*Wheels in CCC*
Hang on, Sakee!! Don’t bee kold Sakee, wee lyke warm Sakee bedder!!
*Getz aowt CCC’s deflub… deflobble… defalubulate… hart zapper*
CLEAR!!!!
*Zap! Zap!*
*Sakee openz hur eyezez*
Here’z a foofyy blankee and sum hawt chaklit… You rest a while adn DOO NAWT LUUK at the kittehz!
Fanks. But me iz addikted to teh kittehs! And I has two at home :3.
Iz hoping that teh CCC is well storked wif supplies…gonna beh lots of Splort’s 2dai!!1!!
wii prefers bed and brekfast tho.
I’m wondering what happened to the shoes that once resided in this organizer…
“Whut shuze? This 4 catz tu plays!”
I hate it when they put me near the ice machine…
Liddill Kitttehz fynd
noo yoos 4 Prittee Wun’s grayt
grandmuther’z shoo Tree
Liddill Kittehz heer!
Liddill Kitteh’z thayr! Liddill
Kittehz ebbeewayrz!!!
Liddill Kittehz lubz
dayr noo cawn~doe. Habz lawtza
playssez 2 ekksploar
Eetch playss iz lawtz
lyke t3h uddurr. Coazee andz
maydz 4 Kitteh Napz
Jack.
{{{{{Jack}}}}} Yoo awlwayz maek me smyol!! Yoo ar just teh BEST!!
“Kitteh’z heer! Kittehz thayr!!! LOL!!
Clappity Clappity Clap!!!!
Yu needs tew pubi…pupli…git sumwon tew tew maek a book wif awl yur grate pooms, Jack! Day awlwais maek mii laffs and laffs
Nyoro~n
we has fighting awn teh left.
we is about to has a pounce on the right in 3,2,1 ….
Reminz me ov cross-contri tripz wen ai wuz kid. Fivve kids in ar fambly, butt we sumtimes tuk extras (cuzzins, frens) in ar ginormus Oldmobile. Bakseet wuz for stelfy fiting (”U hit me!” “Did not!”) an way bakseet wuz for full-on combat cuz pareints cudn’t reech us.
unless they stop the car………..then, let the beatings begin onna side ‘o da road
Tehy frettend to stawp teh car menny tiems, butt only stawped it wuns.
*dramatic paws*
As teh car moved onto the gravel and went slower…and slower…inside the car it got quieter…and quieter. By the time the car stopped, it was dead silent.
*anuvver dramatic paws*
My dad let us sit there in that silence for the longest 30 seconds of my life. Then he started up the car again.
.
And there was peace for almost an hour.
WHAT a grate storee!! LOL!! Awl ov us wif siblings oar cuzzins – oar eben just frens can REELEE relayte to this!!
*
An teh “dramatic paws-z* ar PRRRfektlee playced!
Y fangqueue, JCH4K – iz lubly compliment, an moar speshul becuz yu rites such grate storees, too.
Ai stayed der wunce! Niver agin!
An dey said dis was a four-paw hotel
ELVIS???? wii haz Elvis in deh building??????
cain’t bea much worser tan Motel 6, *sigh* I’ve spent so much time dere dat Tom Bodet STILL sends meh chrismass cards.
Ohai, dan – has a birdie fack fur yu. Teh woodpecker nockin out hiz braynes on teh metlol pole – he wuzn’t kwite as dum as he lukd.
.
Male woodpeckers don’t jus pwnd on treez. Tehy sumtimes pwnd on metlol on purpuss to maek rly lowd noise. Tehy tryin to impress teh females.
.
Ackshully, altho tihs is troo fack, wut kinda female is impressed by lowd guy wif permanent hedake?
Yes Dan!! Do tell us! Just waht kind ov fee mail iz imprest bai such a guy???
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But – wai wud yoo know such a thing, akshullee~
And evree nite, he sez: Nawt toonite, deer; Ai haz a hedake
An da gurl sez tu hurself….yesh!! Now ai kin reed mai buuk an watches mai tv shows!!
wun time had a woodpecker hoo did that on the metal top of the chimbley frum the fireplace in my house. He got a most excellent reverberberberberberashun inside the house.
Ai’ll bet!!! Maeks mee laff just thinking about waht it must hav soundeded laik!! Hao long befoar yoo figured out waht it wuz????
.
Oh – teh mennee things it MITE hav bin!!
Laik. . .
Anvilz awn the roof being uzed bai alien ferriers
B nests disturbed an angree Bs baingin awn teh chimnee
Cows wif bells wawking awn the roof. . .
D. . .
Debil’s doorbell
Ebil lawd noysez
Ferrets beaten a gong
Goggies and kittehs, raining ub
Horses fawlin frum da heabens
G…
Ding Dong! Avon Gorilla calling
Egrets, I’ve had a few
Flamenco dancing flamingoes wif steel-toe shoes
G…
Giant kettledrums
Happy feets dancin on roof x elebenty
Incoming hellycopters
Jet engines flyin low
K…..
Ka lie a pees Kalumphing
Lambs lumbering
Moose chasin Maus
Nawty Nannygotes
Oliphants oogling
Prairie Dawgs bringin prezents
Q…
Q. pouring dried peas down chimbly
Red-headed rascals romping roguishly
Sweet little sparrows having dance lessons
T…
Tangoing elolfants awn teh roof
Unfoarseen huge bawls ov hail
Very stranj creechurs wiv long clause.
W. . .
at first thought it wuz some kind of construction going on, and wuz berry annoyed becuz it wuz way early in the mowrning …
Wii had a woodpekker pekking on deh TV antenna wun moarning… … had tu go owtside tu see wut deh rakkit wuz….
Sown liek mai hiskool boifrend!
O noes, and here comes Catjira! Hai1!
that explains the attack on tha tuna boat.
and the giant hairball yaks on Mt Fuji…
Weer iz dat LCB wens yew needs her?
It iz sew shinee an sparklolie heer! Eberythin is cobbered in ice (ober teh sno) an ders isicklols hangin frum ebberyware! Purddy!
I waz hopin LCB wud come an steels it awl!
LCB may be attractified to teh shiny sparkly things, but she is not teh stoopy.
Ratz! I waz hopin dat seein awl the purrdines ob teh icess wud confuzzle yur udderwise brilliant mynd, LCB.
Adn teh blesd cuplol kame tew de inn. Teh innkepr sed “Roomz ai haz nawt, butt yu kan sheltar inna stablol.” Adn dey did!
We iz havin La Posadas?
Rowdy frat boys all pitch in tu gets party ruums fur da weekend.
Oops… I fergotted teh brunch-like snak food products.
I brings teh mango bred (like the banananana bred, but wif teh mangoes insted.) An U can steel teh butter or teh creem cheez fron the people whut brot teh Lox n Bagels. Good toastd, too.
Ohai – ai iz prolly tooo laet for partee, but iz loooong wai from nooziland. Ai is weerin twerk cloathes xos ai iz at twerk. Iz niec and sunnie outsied.
Ai bring teh pavlova (choklit and playne) wib teh whipeecreme and teh slycis of kiwifroot on top. And teh froot mins pais for pre-xmis noms.
Oh noes, kimkiwi! Yoo ar still in plentee ov taim.
.
an pavlovas ar eber welkom!! An the slycis ov kiwifroot on too?? Wonderful. Ai reelee luvs the kiwis! An teh Pais!!
.
We will be partying frum this fur DAYS!!
Ohai JCH4K – as a speshul treet, ai maeks teh xtry pavlovas and puttings teh whippecreem, kiwifroot nd Boyz N Berrees on top.
Yew can has teh Berrees, ai will haev teh Boyz
.
An ai luvs teh Berreeis . . .ai cud trayde yoo a rasp oar a straw fur a Boyz????
Hokay, ai gievs yew wun boyz for teh stroar berree.
Iffin LCB gievs me bak my Boy Buffing Cloath ai kin maek him orl shinee for yew.
*looks up from buffing, raises visor on boi-buffing helmet*
Five moar minnits!
Hokay. Ai bleefs yew!
Hey LCB
Yew finishd yett??
Need to maek sparkly buffed boi for Janet.
*sighs*
*takes off boi-buffing helmet, admires newly-buffed boi*
*hands boi-buffing cloth back to KK*
Thx for teh loan!
*hands LCB speshul rapt gifty-tyep tihng*
Here is prezzint for yew. yew kin open it nao iffin yew want.
Ai gievn yew hint. Iz boi-buffin cloath.
OOOh! Thx! That is teh so vry thotful!
Does it come wif a starter boi?
*gives KK a dimond-encrusted boi-buffing helmet*
It shure duz. Wot flavr boi yew want?
Ai goez for teh tall, dark and breafing, myslef.
It shure duz. Wot flaver yew want?
Ai goes for tall, dark and breefing, mesself.
Ob cors. Wot modil yew want?
Surprise me.
Ohai JCH4K.
Ai maeded yew speshul buffed boi. Hoep yew liek him.
hehe, bottum ryt iz lyk mmmm drugz four me and teh wone abuv it iz lyk…dood, wtf r yoo doin?
LOL!! O purrson above whose nayme ai cannot wirte becuz ai can’t find that key – yoo ar RIGHT!! Very funny to think ov it laik that!!
OH! I think some of the guests might have had too much sake!!!!!
Moar leik ketteh Hotel