Critical Kitteh hates those shoes.
u rly do look stoopid in dos shooz,
picture: salatinada. lol caption: WRLDCTZN
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Critical Kitteh
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Boy, does he has a grumpee!
Harumph Kitteh sez Harumph!
Conga rats on top of de 5-way brayde, Maus! Drinks and noms? Purrhaps de Pii stall is open?
Sry, I hasta go get ready fer reeehersal. Eberybuddy has a grate weakend!
I didn’t get a Harumph! outta that guy!
Blazing Saddlols ref, FTW!
congrumpulashunz to HRH Maus, King of teh:
Ambidex truss Typists
Bootique, Thai
CandyLand
D…
Dongle divershuns
Ebil maus, friend of
Flikking of de zippo
G…
General State of Confusion
Holllandaise (there’s no place like home for the…)
Incredibull Shrinking Economee
J…
Jist about ebereefinng.
King – iz gud to bee!
Lols – awl ov dem, awl da tyme.
Maus – heez da man!
N…
Jersey, New
Koala Island near Townsville in Land of Oz
L…
Lemming Pi Toss Societee
Mausez Anominuss
O….
Offal punny joeks
Pi frowing
Qween debreefing
Ratz n mousez
S…
Settin fings on fier
Teh remoovin uv teh breefs
Uriginul DID cheezpeep (wevver dats troo or nawt, ai duzzint noe)
V…
Nightshayde! Izzat ur kitteh waring teh Raggedy Ann wig?!?!?
Yesh yesh! Dats mah Timmy.
Cyoot! Did he haet it? Hims adn mai Teddy cud be bruvvers!
He jenerullee will put up wif stuff. Ai donut fink himz wuz teh thrilled — but he fited it less den sum uv teh uvver kittehz. Timmy iz awlso teh wun we dyed prittee kulurs fur Eestur.
Himz iz a bery sweet boy. Iffin him getz himz belleh-rubs, awl iz well wif himz whirled.
How u dye ur kittehs?
Does u has to put them in that wire holder-thingy and dip them in teh colors?
Wii tried dat – nawt sew grate, akshullee.
… jus kiddin
Ai used an old toofbrush — dipped dat in teh dye & den brushed Timmy wif it bery jentlee. He neber got wet down to himz skin — so he thot himz wuz jus bein brushed & petted & praised. Wuz kwite eezee!
Vallees, mowntins and streems, az far az teh eye can see..
Wuteber he feelz like being king ov…
Xuberuntly ruling cheezland (when cweenmj iz awn udder planits)
Yuletide performances
Z…
Zee leeping n zee prancing in “Teh Nutkrakker”
Ta-da!
FTW, 4.5kittehs!
um, he is a SHE. and her name is Pinky
adn yr general appeeraance
sez you need major makeover
involving accesorizing wif bettah gushie fuds.
[kitteh contimews}"adn why arn't you wearing yr servant's unifoarm, hooman?" sigh. "iz hard to get good hep these daze..."
* Chugga, Chugga, Putt-Putt!!*
* mj drivingz up in deh old traktor
* wif deh bakkhoe attacht
.
* Diggingz up deh Sour Pea
* rootz adn awl.
* Chugga, Chugga, Putt-Putt!!*
* mj drivingz off tu deh LOLdawgz site.
ihasahotdog.com/2008/12/19/funny-dog-pictures-iz-confuzd-dis-mah-sock/#comments
STN!!!!!!!!
Ai went obber dere but cud naw post (pouts)
ur furst post dere iz like deh furst post u makez here — hasta go thru deh moderaterz.
It popped up now. I kin seeing it.
*dramatik WEEKWEEKWEEEK!!!!!!!!1 sound emanates frm teh ground*
*sno dust’d tendrils peek from behind holly bush*i
iz she goan yet?
*looks left, looks right*
hee, wot da kween duzn’t know iz dat i putted a decoy plant dere,
and teh roots is safe az evvah under da mulch,
adn when she inturrupt’d da lazer beam i set up,
it set off da faek “weekweekweek” [sampul'd frm da pinny gig, btw] off.
[conspiratorial voice over]
and wot teh cween duznawt know is dat we replaced teh fyuuuuul
in her backho wif da fyuuuuul gathere’d by teh poor man ,
Cameinsite, on the feast of Stephen.
*aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccckkkk*
luks like dat fyuel be gibing da cween jet propulshunz…
wheeeeeeeee! hope she putted herz seetbelt on…
*Chugga, chugga, Putt-Putt
*Chugga, chugga, Putt-Putt Ka-POW!!!!
*deh trakkter shootz off intu space,
*circlolz deh planet Jupitur, swingz past Saturn
.
oooooo pritty ringz!!!
.
*loopz past Pluto adn hedz bak tward erf.
*missez adn landz on Marz.
wow, dat Cameinsite is pow’r full stuff!! wonder if Igor wood like to spearmint wif it?
*Hollerz frum Marz:
Tu bad dat wuzn’t u I movinged tu deh dawg site.
U kudda had deh pritty ornamint I gotted fur u
wen I wented tu deh ty boot eek yesterday.
**Flyz tew Marz tew see da cween**
Ohai cweenmj, dew yew need ennefing up here? Choklits, drinkees, oxajins? A ryde back tew erf?
Sum spydur repel ent? I heerz der iz spydurs awn Mars. *wipes stardust owt of eyez**
Gotz tew go let da children boogie. Be ryte back!
*Pokez PH adn fevver fawlz off.
.
Oh hai PH!!
I thot i wuz hallusin eighting at furst.
but u b reel. I finkso I will take u up on deh ride bakk home tu erf. Itz kinda cold up heer.
Hop ah bored, my cween. Wheeze fly lyke dah wind! cept dere’s no wind on Mars, jist dese dawrn spyders.
*Shudderz
SPYDERZ!!!
*Hopz on board.
Never saw a flying board b4. Hope u noez wut ur doing.
dis is grownd cuntrlol tu parrothead.
dis is grownd cuntrlol tu parrothead.
take Ur protein pilz adn put ur helmutz awn…
parrothead!!!! David Bowie refs FTW!!!!!
(Eben do I dont likes 8leggy spdeers, I luvs me DB’s Speders frum Mars)
Iz ok. Ai stayed at Hollydai Inn las nyte.
**wispers** iz nawt reelee flying board, jist my skatebored wif no grabitee. Nawt shore wutz gonna happin when we hit erf.
My guess is that teh Earf gonna hit back. Mmm-hmmm.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
**gibs cween dah helmit**
*putz on helmut az skateboard screeemz
*twoard erf.
.
*Skateboard hedz intu snowstorm.
Sproink!! skriiinch!!! krash!!!
*Standz up, dizzy. Lukz arownd
ParrotHead??? u ok???
**spits owt protein pills** Ai iz OK! U ok, cween? Aifinkso ai wuz nokked owt, ai kept seeing miself kicked to sum yellow pages sight. Fank gudness dese sawf tendrils wuz unner teh snow tew cushun owr landing! **Erf [tendrils?] reechis up and hitz PH in da beak** LCB sayed dis cud happen.
Whooooo. glad u b ok.
itz gud tu b home, ifinkso.
.
I dunno wutz up wif deh yellow pagez thingee… I don’t seeing it…. I uzez deh Firefawkz adn haz deh ad blokker adn deh Norton sekuriteez.
Ai iz glad ai cud git yew home safelee, cween. Dat yellow pages fing is bad fing. I haz lotz ov securities, dis iz my wurk computer. Bery stranj. Oh nose! We leffted ur bulldowzer up dere on MArz!
See nightshaydez commint b’low. Heeerz deh link tu it.
icanhascheezburger.com/2008/12/19/funny-pictures-hates-those-shoes/#comment-536565
Fankee cween, ur da bom!
Thanks, parrothed, fur bringing ar cween saeflee bak hoam.
.
Taht wuz verree brave ov yoo – an a long way to go!
*luuks froo telliskoep at Marz*
OMCC — it lukkin liek derez tendrilz stretchin frum Erf to Marz. Ai neber heered uv dat befoar.
Ar yoo shur that’s nawt northern lites oar sumting laik that??
Nope – nawt shur uv ennyfing.
LOLZ!!! Yu da funneh!! *still laffin tu self*
An mai brekfist dis mornin wuz cudda ben beddah…Yu nawt memburd dat ai nawt so fond ub da chop grill flavur…..agin….*kitteh not happytail tudai*
But they’re the only ones you haven’t puked in!
i hasn’t puked in em cuz deyr dat ugly!
hee…yu meen, hazzint yarked in dem YET!!! Gimme a minit…
so do ai
Sowwy dat’s a berry lame commint, but sum idjit foned me at 2 minnits b4 teh nyoo pikchoor wuz dyoo! Sum peepl!!!!
yah, dey need to get dere apriori teas strate.
Duz teh shooz clash wif himz floof?
Sowwy dat’s a berry lame commint, but sum idjit foned me at 2 minnits b4 teh nyoo pikchoor wuz dyoo! Sum peepl!!!!
Ai aer nawt shore wat iz wuss – Internet Exploder wiv awl teh stoopy ads, oar Fyrefawx wiv teh skreen jumpin abowt wivowt mai purrmishun!
Aifot it wuz kewt, annipuss!
Ai noez teh feelin. Momcat called meh heer atwerk yesterday jus befoar teh 5pm PST lol — ai kept refreshin & den had to fink & type wen teh lol appeerd. Ai had a silent fur a moment on teh fone & confuzzled Mom. Sheesh – she shud noeing beddur den to calling rite befoar a new lol!
and they don’t match your belt and coat!
but kitteh matchez deh flore!
But — deyz bery cumfee, Kitteh!
mebbe, but dey look like clown shooz
Clown shoos?
*shrinks in horrur*
*picks shrinked leeza up wif teh tweezers, puts her inna milk bottlol for safekeeping*
*pores milk in tee, fliks “crumb” owt befoar drinking*
*flies acrost teh meadow and lands in teh hayloft of teh NB*
STN
U nedz teh YNGs tu unshrinks U leeza-b?
noes, between teh milk and teh tee, I has rehydrificamated.
but fanks for teh asking!
oh wate, there is one thing I needs!
*wispers in WWr’s eer*
*WWr hedbats DK*
o, I saw jest teh man to mayke ebberyfing alright tuday. Jet black hair, handsum and masculine face, magnificent physique, nice smile
*fans seff industriously*
Yu can borrows him, leeza-b, iffn yu needs help getting back to yurfine normal form.
*raps up teh man in kwestino*
*labels do not open til krissmuss*
*puts ‘leeza’ on teh name tag*
*puts under teh nekkid tree*
YES teh tree is teh nekkid. Itz not even waring lites.
*sigh*
And I has to get it dekerated tonite!
*gibs leeza-b galss ov hearty red wine*
mebbe yu can get lcb to help you puts teh lights on teh tree..
*reddily drinks glass of heart wine*
Mabye u can just puts LCB on ur tree!
Hay! Who sed that?
*takes glass*
*sniffs*
Booklion, that wasnt wine u silleh!
It was teh redbull and wodkah!
*takes glass*
*glug glug glug*
Yep, yoo rite leeza-b! *hic*
*caerfullee hands leeza a bendy straw*
luuks liek he hayte eberyfing
ai wudn’t dare be layte wif his gushifuds…wuldn’t want tew mayke him mad(der)
Sew u wish tu dayte mye dawtur?
I has a gun an I aint afraid of goin back to prison…
An a bullit wif yur naim awn it… Daddeh kitteh nawt mess around!
Plz to fill out dis elebenty payge applycayshun- in triplolcat.
Klick Klick! Lawked and lowdid!
Ai donut wont to be a shepperd! Ai wanna be Mayree!
Butt u’re a boi
And?
Are u prejoodissed agaynst bois??
(Annipuss said “butt”)
Soe Ai did *giglol*
Ai aern’t prejoodissed, – ebbriwun noez dat bois haz 2 be sheperdz, oar wyze men oar Joziff. Girlz haz 2 ba aynjelz oar Mary.
Or “chilluns ob mennee lands” or sheeps or kwire or teh ink eeper
Oar ennyfing els an inbentib teechur can dreem up!
Warl, tehy’s got to fynd parts for awl firty kids in teh clarss!
we always had abowt twenny five angelz…
an a dawg!
in a lam costoom!
Baaaaaaaaaa! Humbug!
LOL!!
Ewe r tu funneh Ambercat!
Oh hai!!
.
heer b deh Cheezpeepz map gnuz.
Wii now haz 340 peepz on deh map!!!
.
Google haz added a gnu feechur dat I lubz! Haz u notist it??
luk at deh map adn u will seeing a liddlol man on deh top uv deh zoom bar. If u pikk him up adn dropping him on deh map, u will git a street level vu!!
.
Itz majikz!! U kin seeing wut it lukkingz like tu standing wair deh peepz markerz b. Dis werkz in most uv deh US, adn Straylia adn Gnu Zeelnd. Sry, yroop, it duzn’t b dere yet. If deh liddlol man b grey, he haz no street vu. Az u moving him rownd, u will seeing bloo linez wair he duz hav street vuz.
.
.
Deh map b at maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&msid=103775879896697322828.0004573f951750ea89599&ll=39.027719,-98.4375&spn=27.217637,62.666016&z=4
.
Deh masterlist b at cweenmj.wordpress.com/ichc-helperz/master-list-uv-cheezpeepz/
.
On deh masterlist I haz mading linkeez tu deh kololonee mapz fur awl deh peepz in deh kololoneez so u kin jump rite frum deh peepz name tu deh map deh peepz b on. If dere iz no linkee, dey b on deh main map.
.
Fur maor info on deh mapz adn how to seeing awl deh peepz at wunst, plz go to cweenmj.wordpress.com/ichc-helperz/ (it b a long paige adn u will haz tu scrolling down kwite a wayz tu finding it, but it b dere. I promiss.)
.
Wii now return u tu ur irreglar commintz.
Shoos. Mien and nawt urs, dood!
Is Uz going out in those jammies an crocs?
Iz ar gonna nominate Uz fur whut not to wear
*gets fluffee & defensiv*
*sniff*
Ai lurves mah Crocs, no maddur hao fuglee dey mite be. Dey haz sum kyoot wuns nao, btw.
fashion critik kitteh disagreez
I haz sum fugly dansko clogz 2
and demz is deh comfurtable
sumtymes U needz deh cyoot
sumtymes U needz deh comfort
but when shooz is comfortable and cyoot and not brake deh bank
den dey iz full of winz
aww {{{{nightyshade}}}} no need to get defensive
it is Ur right to wear whut Uz wantz
and deh disapproving kittehz can go to deh basement
Den Basement Cat put kitteh in funee minion soot….den he bee soree!
*snerk*
Teensy litter box kitteh frum earlee fred will show whut he tinks of de shoos too!
a kitteh dat iz bery prittee liek dis wun, it duz nawt matter if him iz grumpee
Hii duzzen lyke teh coald marblz on teh harblz, aithur.
But is teh vry refreshing in teh summertime.
Iz u speeking frum spearience?
Mabye.
Is u speeking from Mars?
*Snert* diet coke on keyboard not so good fur puter…
Yes. I b using mai Acme Tawkee Wawkee!!
U must has teh good cellalar serviss. I can’ts gets many bars on Mars.
Kin yew heerin hur nao?
I don’t think Sprint haz serbiss heer.
Sai Ohai tu Unclol Martin 4 me pls.
He sendingz himz best tu u adn urz!!
Ohai cween! Ai wuz up dere furder up habin a pardee awl by myself! Yew still awn Marz?
Tim Gunn kitteh is wurried.
PR FTW!
Carry on…
make it werk!
holla atcha boy
5 moar minnits an den we sen in da models.
Ai kin jus hear dat kitteh sayin “Dis wurries meh. n plz to uz generusly
frum teh BlooFlay dot com wall. Oh, n dnt piss off teh Nina.”
Ai kin jus hear dat kitteh sayin “Dis wurries meh. Talk to meh. N plz to
uz generusly frum teh Bloofly dot com wall. Oh, n dnt piss off teh
Nina.”
Who thros a shoo? Honestly…
Um, Iraqi jurnalystes??
Ai heered himz mite get prizun sentins uv two yeerz. Ai guess datz wun yeer per shoo.
…
Gud fing himz wuzzint a shoo-wearin millipeed!
Cheer up, man! :O
I just had Symantec Anti-Virus flag something trying to download itself from here — “EDG9YTIZ/FRAME[1].htm” was the code. Again, the problem was of the “Bloodhound.Exploit.219″ variety (whatever that means).
…
I’m going to let the cheezes that be know about this — but take precautions, people!
Dat sownds berry suspishus 2 me.
Dis iz teh third tiem in teh past week dat mah anti-virus software haz flagged sumfin suspishus frum heer. Bad meen pplz iz tryin to taek advantage uv dis byootimus place we call Cheezland!
A haz juss lukked it up an it iz a trojan. Ur aunty birus wuz rite to flag it.
Teh Cheezes nao noeing — dey haz contakted teh advertizing pplz to haz dem see if ennyfing odd iz going on wif stuff on their end.
[/lolspeak]
I know I heard on the news earlier in the week that there’s a major security flaw with Internet Explorer, and that bad people are basically infecting websites without the websites knowing — and that the virus will direct people to erroneous pages & that there’s some way they’re getting user names & passwords for online gaming sites (then selling accounts — a whole ‘nother rant for a whole ‘nother board)… and that it’s expected that some people will start to steal user names & passwords for more important things like bank accounts & other stuff handy in identity-theft.
…
Microsoft is furiously working on a patch for the gaping security hole, but the best way to avoid the problem until Microsoft can fix it is to change browsers. Firefox and some others (whose names I’m not remembering right now) are recommended.
… [lolspeak]
Plz to beeing caerful owt there in cyburspayse, pplz!
*takes precautions, puts them in dollar sine bag*
Plz to sharin doez wif awl teh cheezpeeps, Ms LCB! We duzzint wanting any infekshuns…
Aargh! Maed to wurkz when goofing off!
http://www.microsoft.com/technet/security/advisory/961051.mspx
Microsoft Security Advisory (961051)
Vulnerability in Internet Explorer Could Allow Remote Code Execution
Yu needz to upgraedz ur IE or mebbeh use Firefox
“Bloodhound.Exploit.219″ iz web exploitz for dat vulnerabilitee
Ai will be switchin to teh Firefox on mah laptop. Huzbin haz awlreddee chanjed teh hoam pyooter. Ai shud chanj Momcat’s cuz she won’t figger it owt on hur own.
…
Atwerk, we haz teh Exploder. Ai nawt noeing if teh company software iz compatible wif Firefox — an ai donut fink dey wantin meh to download it on dis pyooter. *shrug*
*in bestest Fathur nawt happee voice*
Sandy claws nawt liek dat attic tood Young kitteh! U be happee ur U getz teh goggie bisckit In Ur stawking.
“Ugh on Uggs!”
burfday fairy will bring noo shooz taht kitteh will like! an a big HAPPEE BURFDAY to all teh cheezfrenz, lolfrenz, noofrenz, lurkurfrenz, an eben trolz hoo haz tehms burfdays today! burfday fairy haz been dekoramayting cookeez, so i haz bringed sugar cookeez, choklit sugar cookeez, an ginjerbred cookeez wif fancy frosting dekorayshuns on tehm! along wif hot choklit with all teh fixings, wippy kreem, peppymint stiks, hazelnut, fronsch banilla, alkyholik fortificayshuns, wuteber yoo like! an poyntyshiny party hats wif pompoms on tehm an goodie bags wif bownsy balls that lite up wen tehy bownse, ittybitty catoon sooperhero jigsaw puzzels, kandeez, an puffy elf stikkers wif googly eyes! rebember taht teh treets an teh goodie bags are being for all teh party gestses, not only teh burfday peepls! an burfday fairy nebber knows anymore wen herz going to be able to stop by, so reed teh LOLz faythfully evreeday an watch for her! an if its yor burfday, speek up heer an tellz us!! eben if yoo haz a shy an haz nebber posted before, we wants to sellybrate wif yoo!
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Ooooh, looky at awl da kewl fings tudai! *takes goody bag an puts pointy partee hat on*
Can someone plz halp me puts my pointy party hat on over my lites?
U no haz flonquais tudai?
her flonqais ran awai
since she not gibbed dem any chrissmus bonus
I’ll have to put that in sandy claws listee. Nawt gibbed bonus is teh naughty
No, no, no. U has it all rong. My phlonquais sed he dint want anything to do wif teh chrissmess and so I thot that giving him a chrismess bonus would make him teh angry. I was just trying to be teh thotfull by not giving him a bonus, u see.
itz ok WWr, LCB can still give him teh tradishunal phonquais gifty on Bocksing Day next week!
*burfday fairy gently sets poyntypartyhat on top ob LCB’s lite an carfeully pullz teh elastic down ober tehm to fit unner LCB’s chin*
.
*oops, now poyntypartyhat elastik iz now tangld up wif LCB’s lites*
*poke, poke, pokedy-poke holes in teh pointy hat to let teh lights come fru.*
*eyes wide in wundur* Dat luuk da pritty wif awl da lites shinin thru it, yu luuk da bery festib, LCB.
Iz that a paper hat?
And r those teh old fashioned non-LED lites?
Whut are u getting at, leeza?
*sniff sniff*
Hay, is somebuddy havening a barbyqueue?
*sniffs*
Thatz not barbie q!
*swetts*
Is it me or is it burning up in here?
I feel fine!
I fink itz just u.
Oh, ok. Just checking.
O nose a fyre!! Ai putz it aout 4 U!!
*grabz teh debreifing flooid frum the DWDC and frows it ober LCB*
*FWHOOOMP*
wate! Won’t that cawse a short in teh wires??
oh noes! too late!
*dials 9-elebenty*
*week voice*
Axe for Firemans Gregg!
Firemans Gregg?
-Yes, that’s me.
Ooh u has a nice deep voyse for a firemans!
-That’s from all the smoke I’ve breathed in, rescuing kitties and young
haplesshalpless women.*leeza swoons*
oh that is sooooo teh heroick sownding!
-Um, was there a reason you called?
OH! YES! My frend is on fyre! Can u come rite aways??
*getz aout rat scout buk. luks up fire stopping*
*reads aout lawd* Tu stoppee teh wet fyres smudder teh flames wif sands oar a hebby blankits.
O LCBs wii haz tu burree Ur hed inna sandz bawks…
*runs tu get teh big sand baux.
um… thatz not sand WWr!!!!
wut r teh lumpy stuffs in that “sand”?
Ummmm – leftobers frum udder fyres?
Udder fires? Teh cows must be hotsy totsy in Souf Dakota!
Dey ar udderly irrysistabel, dey ar.
*koffs*
Ack! Hay! I is not on fire anymoar. Thx!
But why is I covered wif poo?
*runs in wif a bottlol ov barbq saus*
Did sumbuddy say barbq?
Ooooh, lcb, yr oberding teh lucia candlols on teh head, I finks.
Thx, but I doen’t feel teh festive. I think booklion pokeded my brain! It’s hard to tell whare teh lites stop and my skull begins.
becuz yr brayn iz az lit up az teh markises on Broadway?
Datz jus becuz yew iz brite, LCB.
Win!
Gib mai LCB to Broadwai, Remember her to Herald Sqware! She lites teh nite! Sum bulbs ar nawt alwais teh britest in eech bunch tho.
Mint fer mai commint to be up dere wif teh uvvers abowt LCB and bein brite….*powts* Stoopy Weerd press!
Sno~shoo Kitteh no
unnurrstanz wye Prittee Wun
putz feengz awn hurz feetz?
Feengz 4 feetz maykz nyss
playss 4 Napz. Lawng feengz in
bakkz gud skratcheeng poastz
Lawng feengz in bakk beez
soopurb teetheeng feengz. Giud feeng
Prittee Wun doant’z knoez!
Jack.
Mwehehehehehe dat cat sew reminds mez of mah ex
Looks like he’s trying to mind control someone or something
Get a screenshot of that LOL onto Failblog, stat! It’s right next to an advert for shoes lol!
that is such a gorgeous kitty!
lol im not wearing shooz!!
doze shooz duz lookz bad on ur feetz.