
No, Grasshoppur, u must wate until teh hoominz back is turnd befoar u snatchz teh cheezburgr.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: MajorMalfunction
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No, Grasshoppur, u must wate until teh hoominz back is turnd befoar u snatchz teh cheezburgr.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: MajorMalfunction
Den if dey turnz arownd, start washin yer face. Gets dem ebree tiem.
U r teh wies teacher.
con adulations, teecher. i can beez teachr’z pet?
Well — teecher haz 6 kittehz awlreddy … so wai nawt?
looks adorinkly at teh hello kitty teecher. sigh. my hero
nudjes otter kittehs n sez ” i yam teh teech’rs pet. she sed so!!!”
*pets sweetpea*
Ai neber noed dat a plant kud maykin such a gud pet!
Awmoast as gud as teh pet rock ai finkso.
hay, dat’s not a compliment!!!!
tiny tendrils tempted to trip teh twap door undah WRR…
then merembers WRR offur’d shwimp… wot to do, wot to do…
*appeals to odd e ents*
Sweetpea, yu mus bemember dat WRR is chekkin Santas listee dis yeer! Aifinks tu nawt duz da trap door dis tiem!
Well – yew KUD taykin shwimp wif wun tendril & den trippin trap door wif anudder tendril wuns yew haz a tite grip on teh shwimp.
…
Az lawng az yew givs teecher sum shwimps, uv coars.
hmmmm. I duzn’t see ennything appealing.
*SNIP!!!! SNIP!! SNIP!!*
.
Dere, deh ten drillz uv doom b tu short tu
tripping deh trapp door!!
*grogrowgrogrogro*
*tendrils wich haz bin snipp’d bifurcate at each liddul cut adn, enhanz’d by b0rg technawlogeez encase cweenmj in cuckooon 0 tendrilz*
teehee
Mawt tu worree mai cween. Ratz liek teh trap door roomz. Inna movies is always teh ratz oar spyders unner teh trap doorz.
mrrrspkkkn!!! mgnnnnnaa gtchu!!!
mmu kmbk hr!!! hlp!!!hlp!!!!
* sprays teh ten drillz repellant awn cweenmj’s jacket and cubbers Mj inna ten drillz wif teh jacket*
Heer mai cween U luk liek U has a goosee bumps.
TanQ! WRR!! I make shur Santa putz ur name on deh nise listing.
.
Dat SweetPea, howeber, b gonna git deh coal in hur stawking if I hav ennething tu say abowt it!!!!! Razzinfrantzin obnokshuz weed!!!
U wants sum RoundUp foar Krissmiss, my cween?
I finkso a bakkhoe wud b ok.
Oar mebbe stump grindur?
I saw a kew wun awn teh tee-vee teh uthur day.
KEWL nawt kew.
Fingurs gettin tyred. Teh rest ov me iz tew.
Oh, yes!! take hur owt at deh root!!!
arre yoo okai frum teh enkasin bai teh ten drilz ?
I iz strong!!!!
Deh ebil sour pea cannot hurting mii!!!
Aifinks dat yu hab bilt up powerful resitens tu da tendrils bai now, cweenmj!
oh mai, we haz had teh lots ob snows tewdai!! ish crazy round here!!
gud tew knoez dat yoo iz okai, mai cween…
o bai teh wai, duz yoo still needz halp wif yur Christmuss kards?
How much snows yu gits tuday? Iz bout 50 degrees heer, yu kin see yur breff outsied. But not cold liek fur snows.
mebbe 4/5 inches here……… but gettin cold an freeze onna road
ai saw dat lost wages gotted snows tewdai!!
Oh hai, jamammamamamama!!!
Deh supt sez “how u spell sno? Dunno wut dat b, doan wanna noez.”
.
We haz foggy adn 74 fur a hi, now it b clowdy and 70.
See — jamamakitty gets heer just as ai iz leevin werk. Mebbe sheez jus tryin to avoid meh. *sniff*
…
j/k
oh yew silly!!
well cweenie, sumwun needs gud wether…… mite as well be yew!!
Wai thank yew!! wii preesheeating it!!!
Did deh mama kitty go owt and play in deh snowz?
onlee fur a minit……… her poked her nose out teh door and ai put her paws in teh snow and her wuz bak inside inna flash!!!
Mai Mom gots snows…hur kitteh runs outside, him inside kitteh but sumtiem mek beeline fur da door…hur sends pikshure last yeer ob da snow outside da door…luuk like horshoe up kitteh prints. Kitteh run out an bak in wif qwikness!
LOL!!!
wut nexxt? kitteh print ob horseshoos?
kitteh u turn!! LOL
ai cann totalee seez dat as a capshun foar a lol!
Wuz sew funneh! Dat’s wat her titled pikshure…Tom’s U-turn!! Meh an husbin laff an laff!!
Ai will try tu find it an emeow tu yu!
yew cud make a lol out ob it………..ebbrywun wud lurve it!!
oh Cweenie, yew still here…… ai had yew in mind wif a lol few days ago
mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=2885299
gud wun!
fank yew……….. wut is yew up tew DK? got awl yer crissmess shoppin dun? (wudja get me wudja get me…..LOL)
Ai jes emeowd pikshur tu bof yu guys…Jkitty an cweenmj. Ai gonna see if ai kin put it sumware tu upload an mek lol frum it.
hoo meh? ai nawt dun anne Christmuss shoppin…..ai’z probablee gonna send sum e-Kards frum heer, adn pawssibblee maek sum craftee stuff…
Fanks, Jkitty!! Ai jes maded lol frum pikshur! Ai onlee kin figger owt how tu upload frum da maipictures on computer…ai has a hapee! Ai gonna copy an send tu mai Mom! {{{{Jkitty}}}}
Mai noo lol nawt shows up yet…mai Mom gunna laff wen hur sees it!
I see deh lol jamamamama maded mii.
*runz tu luk at kk4z Lol*
yer mom’s snow wuz rilly deep, ai bet her kitteh wuz shocked!!!
Doze fut printz luk so funnee! LOL.
wuz der fewer cumin bak? ai cant tell……….*bounds frooo the sno*
Ai nawt see’s da lol yet on mai profile, but DK favrited it, sew ai clikee view, an copy it fur mai Mom. Hur jest wroted bak an sed “Ai lub it, dat’s purrfekt!” Hur nawt cheezpeep, but hur lub’s da lols ai sends hur. Fanks tu put pik on der, Jkitty! Mom iz much pleezd!
Luuk like Tom runnd out, den pawsd, den run bak in agin!! Ai will luk thru mai stuff, cuz Mom lib up in mountins, an der wuz big bobcat sittin on front porch in almost same place sumtiem las yeer. Mom wuz qwiltin in sewin room, an Tom iz freeky owt at da window. Win Mom luuk out window, der iz bobcat at da frunt door!!
ai haz noticed dat too, dat yer lols dont always show up on profyle riteaway…. ai’m glad yer mom liked it. we needs tew get her to play wif us sumtime here.
well ai am signin off fur tewdai… see yew awl tewmorrows!!
gud nite an gud luk……..an gud LOLS!! schmoooooo
SCHMOOO…Jkitty…Ai hopes dat yu sleeps guud tonite, an dat Mammakitty purrs wif yu wile yu goes tu sleep! {{{{{Jkitty}}}}}
weez gotz da snow hear two! We getz bout 2 minchez n den it rains, den 2 mor minchez den icz….. we no haz hadz skool fur 4 daizs… lukz like fishykitteh n I r goin ta skool tamara fur da first tyme dis weak!
Nawt lookn forward to itz….. iz last dai ub skool afor winter break.. dont fink muchez will gotten dun……
oh yeah… fishykitteh n I r in 2 bedrum ‘partment naow… iz berri, berri small fur bein snowbounded fur 4 daiz…..!
I hopz wether holdz up, spoose iz goin ta Colomarado friday ta bring da liddle gascat home…..himz had bad, bad tyme… weez bringin him home to skedadle (where spoose iz, I iz in Pootland…) gascat kinda went !pop! mentali dis term… weiz gona feedz him, n takz kare ub him n lub him till himz eyballs goggle… haz been nasti fall fur awl ub uz….
momcat
Oh Hai momcat!! Hazn’t seeinged u in a whilez. Glad tu see dat u b ok in awl deh snowz adn ice. I shur hopez u kin awl b tugezzer fur deh Chrismiss. Gibbing deh gascat lotza schmoooz adn hugz. If hii will letting u. Dem boiz not awlwayz letting deh mommaz hugging on dem. :smirk:
Schmoooz tu yooz! {{{{{momcat}}}}} {{{{{momcatz famblee}}}}
fank u cwmj-
wellz weiz had dai numa 5 ub da no skool… weiz iz naow on da winta bacation… felz weirdz…..
spoose gotted da gascat tadai- packeded him awl up in a u-all trucktruck n deh setted off frum Boulda dis ebening. Mani, mani trubblez awn da wai- gascat’s ruum waz horibl mess, tuk awl dai ta kleen it. U awl did nawt hab da write truck for uz…. hadz ta growl at dem ta gib uz a truk… intermesting dai awltagetha….
butz I iz happi, weiz gotted da gascat bac n him will beez here in 2-3 daiz!
momcat
Plant duz not shed on teh cowch or pee in ur shooz! Is grate pet.
fanx.
twurls drcat wif tendrilz to medley 0 sweetpea songz.
drcat continews to danz gracefully to musik.
meanwhile, sweetpea twirls out to kitchen to Finish dinner as the
tredmill progrom is complete.
so long, fair whale..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50Qo62s8QNg&feature=related
waves pause wildly at teecher.
What wood chew like fur sillybrashuns? Grasshopper Dwink? chonklit cobber’d grasshoppers?
Wite choklit martoonie, iffin yew plz. Ai haz neber tried a chonklit cobber’d grasshopper. Iz dey gud?
dunno. nebber had wun eeder. kitteh’s like to nom teh grasshopper’s and den play show and tell…
hey, are you still a twerk?
“twerk”?
Nawt sown lyk gud naem tew be callin sumbodee.
*snickersandrunsawayfast*
Yup yup – still a twerk. *sigh* Abowt anudder howr & ten minnitz.
*skwintz*
Iz dat a liddul red bow on yer abatar, sweetpea?
She thinkz she kin dis guyz her ebil ten drillz uv doom bai putting a liddlol misslol toe on it. Pah!!
*singsong voice*
cweenie’s under da missel toe cweenie’s under da missile toe…
*kk4 runs up wif kwikness, gibs cweenmj big smoocy kiss on hur cheek* *gigglols an runs away*
*smooches cweenmj’s pinkee rings*
Ohai kk4. Ai capshunned wun of Ur pictures.
yr strategery is clawless…
erm.. i mean, flawless…
as oppos’d to goggie straterrie, wich is clooless.
or teh Grinch;s, which is Whoo-less and shmooless (pore grinch)
or teh ALE, which is broo-less.
or teh hippies wich is shoo-less
or teh cowz wif laryngitis wich iz moo-less.
or teh ghosties inna monastery wich is boo-less.
Oar granpaw wifout teefz —- hez chewless.
Oar teh peepluls I deel wif – dere cloo-less.
Or da hapee peepls dat is bloo-less
oar teh peepz dat nawt bee habbin ICHC oar WP akkawnt, dey’re awlsew bloo-less.
Or the peepz in the dry, dry desert are dew-less.
or teh pigeonless, who is coo-less
or teh jamamakitty, who is nawt boohooless
or in Shakespeare’s Merchant 0 Veniz can has pray’rs dat aer bootless
or on ICHC where we can haz blooness.
Ohai sweetpea. U wants sum ob dese left ober frum teh podluck shwimps? Has teh cocktayl saws tu go wif.
shwimps?????!!! oh, yesh, plsplspls!
wut? shwimps??
yesh plz!!!
ohai, DK. i shares wif you, ‘kay? howz da piano playink?
iz okai, aifinkso…
yoo has anne rekwests?
Furry Lise?
just kidding, i has herd it enuf fur a while. hmmmm. lemme fink (goze into piano teecher mode)
Along came Mary
Beethoven’s Rage over a Lost Pennie
Chop Sticks
D…
Dig a liddul deeper inna well
Emmanuel
Heartbreak hotel
G…
Goodness Gracious Great Balls0Fire ( but keep yr feet off my pea yano)
Happy Holandaise
Ipanema, Grrrl frm
J…
Hmm…ai akshuallee knoez sum ob doez..awltho nawt awl awn teh piano…
lookee here
*showz DK ginormuss file kabinets fill’d wif sheet musik accumulate’d o’er yeeeeeeeeerz 0 pea ano teeching*
luk tru deez fur wot chew need.
oh, and can you alfamabetized dem and cwoss ref dem by composer, level o diffikultea, and…
o wao…
o…yoo arre piano teechur?? ai nawt eggspekted dat…
hmm….
*getz awt papurr, pencill, adn startz tew organize bukz…*
Sweetpea, yew are nawt MI oweld jpiano teechur are yew? Her wuz Meenie, hitz ur nukklols wif stick if yew nawt hab handz in currekt pozishun! **trembles**
oh, i can has minion???? or phlonkay???? wont maus & lcb be teh jealuss!!!
(yesh, i aer piano teach’r. did you wash your hands young man??)
to parrothead. don’t be siwy. i no hit nukkols.
(i use hi tech electromagnetic device attachedby electrodes)
kthxbai! **runz away wif a kwikness, pulls electrodes off DK**
*feelz elektroedz fawl awff*
*luks arawnd*
wut happenededed??
Ai pawsibly sabed ur lyfe! If yews gonna wurk fer dat SweetPea, must alwais hab hands in propur pozishun, or yer scales are gonna light up da nyte! BEEWEAR TEH ELECTROEDZ!!!
wut? hand in propurr pozishun?
*snerk*
ohhh…..
*goes tew teh NB*
Sweetpea, pleez to bring back teh electrodes fur dat boi!! Eggstra strenf!
wut??
wai??
yoo wurr teh wun dat sed it, nawt meh…
Tsk. Yew iz too yung to be hazzin doze thots in publik, DK.
*shiftee eyez*
ai nebbur sed /wut/ posishun….
Yew sented yerself to teh NB — so teh thots must haz been impure, aifinkso.
….nebber miend….wuz gonna sai sumptin, butt decyded nawt tew…
*whispurrs tu DK* problee tu keep dem fots tu self, aifinkso!
nawt nesessarilee…butt dat’s nawt teh issshoo….
Fergotted Fernandos and mixed up teh aphlolbits.
Mai stoopee dai let me show u it.
*haz merchy on WRr deesides not to twip teh twap doar*
unforchunately, the hare twigger is jossul’d by Ack sea dent and…
(dat’s ‘mercy’ not merchy)
Is gud fing ratz liek teh roomz unner the trap doors.
Whai U want furry lice? doez U need teh flee collolr from santa insted of teh mirrorclol groe?
*maeks note on Santa’s list. *
now sho me ur stork teckneek.
Oar teh nuvver show … wacks awn, wacks … no wait, dat nawt sawnd rite.
O.o
*goez tew teh NB*
Ai noes, ai noes!!! *shufflols off 2 NB*
u must waits 4 de birdiez to be walking awai b4 you pouncez.
Burdiez nawt wants to walk awai! Burdiez wants cheezburgur tew! Bedder dan pleh lef tovurs Ai iz habbin.
Ohai birdie. Ai not meantz u, u b gud birdie. Ai meantz do mean crows, blu jais, adn ovurz leik dat. BebeKitteh needs to be lernin stalkingz moves, to cetches da humins round da kornerz, chasings da leaves dat lukz leik birdies, and da snowie flakez inna da windz, adn da faries dat causes da wild streeks thru da howse.
sry, teh cheezburger est burnt bad. you no want it, grshpr.
teecher tryeing to twick gwasshopper. ifinkso, yesh.
burnt cheezburger beddur den no cheezburger Aifinkso.
Dependz on hao muchlee burnt.
Ohai, I’m heer finalee.
Did I ever tell y’all hao musch I HATES traffick?!?! I do. I’d much rathur drive onna innerstate tahn in town. Pleh.
Nawt want tu dribes awn innerstate in malibu tudai. Snoes maek for nastee when nobuddy knoes haow to dribe onit.
Dat’s troo.
Snows in Malaboo? Wow.
Y’all are NAWT gonna beleev ware my offis is habbin owr Krissmiss Partee – dat “owl” playse dat NC66 lykes sew well! Tomorrow nite!
Maek Ur suprebiser bai U teh T shurt
Mebbe ifn himz drunk enuf I kin tawlk him in2 it.
Alsew, teh guy who wants 2 axk me owt mebbe goin tew.
Tomorrow nite shud be berry innerestin.
Dat guy hoo ur boss bringed intew ur awfus to talk? Same guy?
Yup. Same wun.
Ackshully, it wuz my eyedea tew inbite him. Dat way, wii can gets tew knoes eech uthur a liddlol bit wifowt teh presshur of a date.
Smart thinkin?
Bery gud smart thinkin! Alwaiz eezee-er to git tew nose sumwun wen nawt wun-on-wun! U bery wize smart, rhsb! Yew hab a fabyewlus owtfit to where?
Nawt luuked inna klozet yet.
Gah, iz been SEW lawng sinse I been onna date. Enny suggeshtuns oar poynturs?
***rolls on floor laffin, snortin*** Ai is old married parrot, nawt had a date in yeers!!! Or eben a new owtfit! Ai is shore yew will luk byooteefull wuteber yew where.
Iz been at leest teh 90s foar me, mebbe even erlyur.
Dang, I feel old all of a sudden…
Yew nawt old, Ai kin teel dis frum ur attytood. Ur lyke a yung kitten kitteh, jist discoberin dah wurld (eben if itz teh nawt-third tyme, iz a whole new wurld! Yew’ll dew (and luk) grayte!
Fanks foar teh bote ov confidense, parrothead. Kin I borry it? I seems to has lost mien sumware along teh way…
Well, dere is a larj sup lye here, ebereewun gibs yew dere votes of it. Sew don’t go back along dat way to luk fur teh owld stuff, just git dah new fresh!! If eye don tawlk tew yew tewmarra, hab a great tyme!
Fanks!
Iz nawt teh plaec fur teh fancee dresses. U be fine inna new bloo jeans adn teh win blouse.
I prolly be wearin teh owtfit tew werks, since we goin strate dere afturward, so nuffin fancee.
**wonners if jeens still fit**
I jest came bak frum luukin in kloset. Dere’s slim pickins in dere. I needs pants.
Wud cashual skirt be too dressee?
Shud wurks. Whut kinda bling U haz to wear? unnerstated eerings and neck chain?
Nawt tew unnderstated, gotta make statement sumwhere!
Yesh, gots simplol silvur hoops an varius neklases.
We wants him tu luuk at rhsb nawt herz joolree. keeps it simplol wif a littlol sparklee. Can maek teh statements if U seez him again.
I nawt ushually go crazee wif the jooleries ennyway.
My style goes toward teh simplol an klassik. Nawt tew trendee oar ober-teh-tawp.
Ohai RHSB! Jist b ursef and in teh mohmint….u will b fyne, Aifinkso. RHSB can has a wunnerful tyme!!!
An plz to stik to jus wun drinkee wif teh alkeehawl. Donut wanna embarrass yerself.
(ai saw dat sugjeschun on teh teebee teh udder moarnin).
Malibu can haz snoes?
Yep adn I 15 adn I 5 wuz shutted daown at rushie hour inna hills bai LA
Datz wild! Yew can bild snoe kitteh?
Malibu habs snoe, Birginia duz nawt. Bery stranj wedder in dese Yew knighted stayts.
Nexst tiem tehy purr-dict snows foar us, I tell ‘em tew send it furvver Eest, ‘k?
Yesh pleez! Ai lubs snow!
yezz plz…in teh Souf eest, iz liek 60 adn hyoomid awtsied….PLEH!!
ai want snoe!!
Ai gess Ai iz in dah norf souf eest (in birginia), iz bout 40 and hyoomid here.
40 bettur den 60…..60 in teh winturr is juss playun pleh…
wants tew come tew NY fur winter, DK? wii had teh snoe fur Halloween, adn ushoolly gets lawts more, fanks tew Lake Ontario
ooo…ai has wantud tew go tew NY….
U kan haz mai snoes. We supposed tu get 3-4 moar inches ober weekend.
DK and Ai will take awl deh snoes!!! Weez dreemin ov a whyt krissmus, cuz dat’s deh onlee way we gits wun!
well…dere wuz a wite Christmuss bakk in liek 1996 oar sumtpin…
Yep- i saw pix of snow in Vegas tew- lukked very funny. I am sick of de rayne heer in Birjinya! Bring on de snow!
Wear yew be, WRr? West ov wich ribber?
Missuri ribber in So Dakotas
Souf Dakotas! I spose yew alwaiz git a wyte Krissmus? Or iz dat Norf dakotas?
Awlmoast always. Ai nawt mind teh snoes, just teh ID-ten-Ts dat trai tu dribe liek they are still in arkansaws and has no snoes.
ID-ten-T’s….
*snerk*
I lubs dat joek.
ai knoez dat wun!
tuk meh a whilol tew get it tho…
funnee but malibu aways bringing picture ub sun, surf, an nawt snoe. can yew has white catsmus?
LMAO anyonez knowz Ican’thascheezburger user?
My brudder called earlyur today. Tehy has teh ise storm in Illinoyse!
Frenz, aifinkso I gonna go foar teh nite.
I has sum stuffs to do befoar I turns in.
Hazza gud nite/day/watebber!
nite nite rhsb!
Gud nite rhsb (tho ai haz lieklee misst yew awlreddy).
…
Ai iz leevin teh werk nao — so yesh … ebbreewun haz a gud nite/day/watebber!
Gud nites. If Ai doan seez U haz a great time at teh pardee t’marrows.
ooohhh – dese luuk liek teh Himalayan kittehs! mai Stormy wuz bloopoynt Himmy, liek teh bebeh kitteh heer…beyutimuss!! ai miss mai Stormy kitteh
i’z sry bout Stormy. i’z da hooman 2 Agent Smith (Snookie), he looks jus like da seelpoynt himmie in da piksure. 4 a bi also had hiz sister (nawt same litter), was bloopoynt look like dat kitteh in piksure 2.
ai haz tew kalikos naow, but sumdai hope ai kan haz himmie again
tes grasshopper listen u gotz a wize sensey
Kittehs that kyoot and floofy nawt need to snatch. Just look kyoot and floofy at week hoomin.
Master iz ryte, yung Kwai Chang Cat. An hoap tehy ar Gardenburgz.
Master, pleez beez teechin’ me to beez steelin’ cheezburgers!