*sigh* Wish yu wuld stay on yur side of bed.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: torynoot
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lief iz hard!
Congrats jk2k!
fanks! iz tyme tew goe hoem frum werk naow, yay!
Ai aer awl skwished
Can kitteh be skwished? do dey habbing bonz?
Waal, u can skwish a bloon, an dat haz no boenz, so Ai spoze u can skwish a kitteh.
Will a kitteh “pop” lyke a ballloon?
You spozed to stawp skweezin before you get to dat poynt.
Kitteh haz teh pointee endz Tu warn of tu much skweezin’s.
Pssst…doan forgit teh sharp teefs
adn kyoot attak… *splort*
Oh noes!! don be tryin dat! No wanna be skwished or popped
No kitteh splortin allowed here! at ICHC kitteh splorts you!
*frantikly goes thru notes* Hay, noe one sed der wuz pop quiz tonite!!!
Let’s think about this rationally. Since kitteh has no bones, as shown by wonderful flexibility. den it has to made ob teh same material as udder fings wif no bones. What else has no bones, udder dan a balloon?
Um, lemme fink bout it…
Anacondas
Bubbles
Carnations
Diamondbak rattlolsnakes
Electrik eels
F….
(yay someone got teh trend *wink*)
Fury (you neber said it couldn’t be abstract)
Gardens (at least i hope not..)
Helium
Ions
J…
Jello
Kave dwelling snails
Lava lamps
Mud pies
Noodles
Octopuses
P……
Pudding pops
Quince jellee
Razzberreez
S…
Straw mushrooms
Tuna salad sammiches
Violets in vases
Wigglol worms
X……..
xercizin machines
Yarn
zuccini
could it be…
Anchovies
Battle armor
Cats ..oops! umm Catapults (teh wooden kind)
D…
Noe. But sqweezur wil bleed profuselii.
*splort*
o deer! call deh CCC!
“sweepy sweepy*
*mooshie inna hed*
*pak pak pat pat*
*taypee awl roun*
*getz floofie blanky*
*getz hawt choklit*
Ai hoep u feelz bettr, NS! Iz a cloas cawl!
Ok NS.
Ai ar out of prak tiz but here goez…**sweeping up da braynes***
**Wash dem off wid wassail for da holly day**
**por dem bak inna hed box**
**Replaic bonez an ducky taype dem togedder reel gud**
**Here iz a chonklik arma dillo and a nize floofy blankie for yo***
Ai can haz dubbul reskew! Fank yew boaf bery muchlee!!!
…
Ai iz deeply in fluorescent light related Hades today. Mebbe ai shud going hoam to a sawftee blankee & sum kittehs, aifinkso.
…
Mindless bureaucracy — DO NAWT WANT!!! Deyz maykin a list uv pplz dat haz problum wif teh noo improoved lites — an dey will finish maykin teh list an den will deside wut to doing abowt it in a fyoo weeks. “Tayke owt teh bulb” iz teh eeziest way — but dey nawt willin to doing dat fur sum unknown reezin.
…
…
Sry. Plz to be returnin to yer regyoolarlee skedyuld lols.
Show tehm Ur Pointee endz!!!
Ai mite haz to. Ai axed teh *cough* lubberlee laydee frum teh HR whom ai shud bill fur extra migrayne meds. She thotted ai wuz jokin, but ai wuz teh seereeyus. Ai had teh pointee endz sheethed in velvet, but onlee barelee.
…
Mah mizeree – let meh nawt rillee showin teh cheezpeeps it. *sigh*
Oh, {{nightshayde}} heer is hugs fur yu, an soft blankee to snuggel in wen yu finally gits home!!
Fankees!
hmmm…eef yur awffice is juss adn awfisse, den cud yoo turn awff lites in dere, adn breeng inn nawrmul lampz?
cud yoo ask yur boss tew du someting abawt eet? eef a werker nawt ablol tew werk rite, den dey git less dun…..
eef dat maek anne sense…
Iz hard sumtiems. Wen ai wurked in hospital, yu culd nawt ebben hab a small fan on yur desk wifout engineering coming out to approve it an plug it in fur yoo!! Is stoopy.
wut??
hao stoopy can dey bee?
wut abawt smawl fan dat nawt need tew bee plugged in?
Iz gud thot, DK — but datz wai ai wuz talkin to teh nawt-sew-halpful HR (hyoomin resources) laydee. Teh pplz dat spozta watch owt fur teh employeez intrests duzzint seem to doin dat bery well. *whimper*
sew izza HR fail?
luukin awt foar employeez intristz….dey’re duin eet wrong!!
taht sownds liek mos HR awfisses ai’v nown… pleh awn em awl!
*splut*
wazza splut?
Tiny bit uv braynes leeky owta eers, splut on floors?
Izza nawt quite teh splort.
*wraps floofee blankee around leeza-b. gently tucks dripping braynes back inna hed. Applies 50s baf cap wif seehorsies awnnit. SKRIIITCH teh extry duky taype teh CHRG in plaece. *
Has a hawt Tommy & Jerry adn teh sordid chokklit bizcutz.
Aifinks is splort dat hur tries to contayn wifout halp!! *follows behind WRr wif chokklit martooni, pink fuzee soks an heeting pad*
oh fanks guiz!
Teh pooter went down rite after I splutted. Angelplume and WWr r tejh rite. Itz a minisplort. Cudn’t be halpt… littul blak kitteh… I wuz a goner.
*sip*
Btw, wutza Tom & Jerry?
Iz a drink we serb warm awn new year’s oar krissy maus eve.
Izza Rum and brandee wif sum spicees, sugar and aigs
mmmmm… sownds gud!
izzt a recipe I cud find pretty easilee?
Yas U can googlol adn fined 339,000 tymes.
um.. dat’s teh problem, so many recipes, not all r alike, some has spices, some not, some sez to beat eggs wif sugar some not.. wich is teh real/bestest way?
okays, I think I found a gud one.
Ai noed rite awai wen ai seed dis pikshur dat it wud get yew, leeza!
my weekness, u knew it!
Solid blak, or tuxie.. bof of em gets me.
sew cyoot.
Sounds like somebuddy needs Deer AbbyTabby’s advises.
Deer AbbyTabby,
Ai tries tu keep maisalf small in da beds, ai ebben keep mai littlol paws folded up so nice. Wai da hoomins wanna crowd up in da pillow dat ai keeps fur maisalf? Ai nawt takes up much space, der is hole udder places on da beds dey kin lay awn. An, deer AbbyTabby, if yu notice frum da pikshure ai sent yu, mai hoomin iz a plumber.
Pleez tu halp meh
Signed,
Joey Buttafucos kitteh, Zoey
@@@@@
LOL!!!
Deer Joey Buttafucos kitteh, Zoey
It sounds to AbbyTabby like ur hoomin seekritly desires to be a kitteh. As u well knoes, taking up allda room in teh bed is whut kittehs does. Who can blame a hoomin for wanting to be like a kitteh? U doesn’t has to work, pay bills or ware pants!
Teh prollem here is that if ur hoomin acts like a kitteh, he will forget how to use his opposable thumbs. This would be disaster! (Not unlike those pants ur hoomin wares.) So u has to show ur hoomin that if he does wannt be a kitteh that u is teh Hed Kitteh In Charge. Use ur pointy ends, hedbat mercilessly, sneek up onnim and pounce pounce pounce. If that no work, then teech him how to gives himself a baff wif his tung. He will either realize that that is teh pleh and give up on teh ideer of bein a kitteh or he will enjoy it so much that u will has teh hole bed to urself allda time.
AbbyTabby
Whoops… Didn’t see yew standing there LCB.
(for 13 minutes) ~blush~
Back off, bub. I is teh one and onliest AbbyTabby.
YIPE!
::runsawayfast::
.
.
.
Dear AbbyTabby,
Today I wuz chased away bai uh cat wif lights awn her hed…
Deer ,
U eggspect AbbyTabby to bleev that? What kine kitteh be waring lites on her hed?
Plz to not be riting for advices until teh koff syrup wares off.
AbbyTabby
ooo….dat sawnds liek gud idea!
nrrgh….ai nawt cans kleen mai elbow….ai nawt can lik eet…..
Dear Mobbed on teh Mattress,
It iz nawt the hyoomins fault they awr stoopy. Who trained them? It iz yor responsibility to assert your authority and as teh dominant species and let them know who’s boss. Otherwise, hyoomin awr prone tu awl kinds of silly acts of delinquincy. The least of which iz hogging the davenport. Why, undisciplined hyoomins hab been known to hang out with disreputable women, commit insurance fraud, posses ammunition while awn probation, and eben date fugly underage girls who shoot their wives. But, ai’m sure yew awr aware ob these behaviours. Sew before yew blame hyoomins for them, take a look at your teaching methods and see if there are some opportunities for improvement.
Sincerely,
AbbyTabby
Some effective methods to discourage crowding are:
Attacking wit pointy endz
Barfing up hairballs
Crazy leg twitching dreams
D…
Dashing ober da pillols
Eating dere cheezburgers
Floof-a-mizing da kleen klothes
i sez dis 2 gurlfwend dis mornin
ohh has u botted the flowrs yet?
Waer wuz yu plannin tu sleeps tuniet? Bets ur gurlfwend gibs yu Awl Teh Ruum In Teh Wurrld ….
Aiz shur pointy endz applied to dat strip uv flesh above teh waistband of teh jeens wud taking caer uv dat, kitteh. *nod*
*nods nods* dat is troo!!
Ai liek teh noo abatar, kk4! Nao it jus needz a liddul red bow, aifinkso.
I is nawt fuled, kitteh. I noes u think EBRY syd of bed is ur syd!
an ebberytink in between!
I hab dis prollem rite nao. My husbind taek up 2/3rds of teh bed, an mai kitteh taek up othur 1/3rd. I has noen!
They is just like dat because dey lub being close to you. don’t bother getting an extra bed they will jus follow you dere too!
I noes! We is gonna by a king syz bed, an I jus noes teh kitteh gonna strech owt longggggg waes!
Yep. In kitteh language, “your side” of the bed is the last three inches around the edge that are left after the kitteh finishes sprawling out.
Dis be da part ware der no blankees on it an yur feets hang obber da edge.
akshul free inchez is subjek to chainj at teh kitteh’s will.
I think gravity it subject to change if the kitteh wills it.
ebben light bendz foar kittehs!
(eggspeshunlee sunlite awn windersillz)
haha i hate it when someones on my side f the bed.
poor kitteh
Nawt poor kitteh. Haz teh foreber home, a hyoomin to open teh gushifuds and warm teh blankies. Awl it needz naow iz a catnipz toi tu hedbat.
Kitteh now gives free massage…please to pay for service with gushifoods or catnip
ooohhh! such kyootness!
luk at the littol paws and handsum whiskers!
SPLORT!
*THUD*
Oh noes!! Call teh CCC! *wraps gammacat’s head carefully wif cute kitteh hat* Please someone respond quickly!
Wow dat a beeg splort!
*scoop scoopitee*
*pour bak inna hed*
*Duky tape rap roun an roun*
*Put hed inna fridje to “set up”*
*rap inna blankee an gibs chikin soop an candee*
AWL BETTURZ! Kthnksbai.
*nods weekly*
thanky Zaffy21 and Melissa!
afta blubyrn of non-happinice, i wuzn’t
prepeared for so much kyoot.
oh SQUEEEEE! Adorable bebe! *thud* I will seeps wif you, andz makz plentees uv ruumz!
Prittee Wun feenkz Bed
beelawngz 2 hurz! Dat’z sillee!
Liddill Tukkseedo
Kitteh claymdz t3h Bed
lawwwng ago wenz Tukkseedo
Kitteh hadbz bloo ieez!
Datz wenz Tukkseedo
Kitteh wuz Behbee Fuzzee
Lump. Dat’z a lawwwwwwng tyme!
Jack.
Ok hoomin I has been full of teh nise an sweet, an u still woant moove!
*POOOOOOT*
Ahhh dat’s betterz.
*stwetches to teh poynt of lil kitteh toeses curlin*
Summatiems u gotsa do wut u gotsa do.
Ai don fink Ai gets a sied ov da bed. Ai gets a top therd ov da bed, da kitteh taeks up da rest. Eben tho he iz much smaler den mi.
*ponders about positioning* dat must be uncomfurtable why not cuddle wif kitteh and saves space for teh both of you?
Well, ai nawt want tu sez before, but yu kin see dat hoomin is sprawld cross da bed, wif, um, plumbers fing goin on between pants an shirt. Mebbe kitteh tryin tu be discreet an nawt hur hoomins felines.
Hmm you haz a good point. Considerate kitteh is considerate.
Mai kitteh used tu haz her sied of bed curled unner mai chins. Wif her Floofee black tayle tikkloling mai noes. Adn her hedz awn may neck.
Nawt too often, but sumtiems wen it gets reel cold, awl four inside kittehs is on da bed wif us! We onlee hab double size bed, so der nawt a lot ub room fur moovin round! Kittehs sleeps fine, hoomins, nawt sew much!
Ur sew lucky WRr! I allergik, so my 2 kittehs
canna go in bedroom
(they pwn rest of hous!)
Such cute little white kitten mittens.
*fwa-ting*
awl it’ll taik iz wun itty bitty poke. den ai gets da whole bed.
I let kitteh sleeps wher kitteh wants.
Dat da bestest way, D.R….it awl wurks owt in da end! Ai nawt hab da hart tu moov mai kittehs wen dey sleepin awn da bed…dey sew hebby, warm an tired, an mostest ub awl, dey sew cute!
**nods nods nods**
so twoo KK4! sleepin kitteh ellebenty tims hebbier
than usuoal.
aww…hao kyoot….
*SPLORT*
O waow a splort.
Lookit awl teh dragin colorz….
Iz liek fyrewurks awn da floor…ai onlee sez dat cuz ai seez yu gawts sum halp wif dat down da thred, DK!!! Wuz lubbly tu see…
oh dear!! call the CCC
here it comes
*squik squik* goes the wheels
*squeels to stop with J-turn by DK*
*sweepity sweepity the brayns*
*wash wif special brayn cleaner*
*gently splats bak inna hed*
*lotsa ducky tayp*
*stretches CC ovuh hed*
u okai DK?
*hands extra floofy blankie and drynk*
*waeks upp*
huh? wut happeneneded?
OH, DK, yu splorted lubbly cullers!!
Aquamarine
Brilliant sapphire bloo
Carrot oring…nawt poisun
Def metal blak
Eggplant purple
Fire ruby red
G….
Green
Hiliter culorz
Interestin colurz
J…
Jammin’ culorz
Kite flying culorz
Lemming colurz
…
Manee colurz
Nomming fud colurz
O, awl teh colurz!!
Pretee colurz
Q…
Noir
Oh gee that’s bright pink
Puce
Quick, think ob an otter colour…
robins egg blue
sapphire
turkoize
umber (burnt)
v…….
Veree pritee colurz
Wai arre awl peepz braynes liek dis?
Xactlee elebentee billyunz colurz
Y? ai nawt noez…butt ai lieks awl deeez colurz
Zactlee elebentee moar colurz
Goldynrod
Happi Henna
Indyglo
Joowul tone Jayde
K…
Sowwy DK, Ai tries tu halp, but the colors ob Ur braynes confuzeloled meh.
Mai laydeez kitteh Baggins is berry good at takin de bedz ovah, he eben rollz yew out ov teh bedz tu – he prezzez you in teh bak ’til yu rollz ovah, adn den he dooz it agen…
…adn he’z pretteh big cat tu…
But kitteh, I lyk snorglin wif u!
Sumdaze, I haet ‘pyooters….
2day iz wun of tehm.
Guies, I know my kwilt izza diffrent colur, but it reelee iz me!
Iz yu in blak mood tonites, rhsb? Liek dat old moovy blak crismas? *runs and hides frum ebil santa wif nife*
oh red, this wuz ur chanse to create an alternat identitee…!
but wai iz yew a diffrunt kwiltie?? ai haz a cormfuzzled! (did yew ebber get yer router tew werk?)
oh jus a kwik ohai……. gotta run tew mai bff house…..but ai will be bak shortleeee. dis be a test ob teh warning system….. LOL
Hey – hoo b da “little h hissy”? Ai be da big H Hissy, tho it seems we habing da saem problum wif slee pings. I has a happytail! All mai holly daze shoppin be dun. Nao to fite wif kitteh ober da ribbons nad rappin.
HALP!
Do I has inbisibul?
noep…awltho yoo has a weerd abatar heer…iz differunt kolur…
:sniffle: Himz luks leik ma nawt-seccund kitteh, Callahan. onlii Cally wud push mii offs da beds. (onli reely happened wunce, but haz stucks in ma memuries forebber.)
Do I has an invisibul?
Nawt heer.
Hai rhsb
Awl Ur commints seemed tu shoe up togeddur at wun tiyme awn mai pooterz.
yoo nawt bee habbin a bloo….
Ai kin seein yu! Ur kwilti gots difrint culler, dough – nawt-sekkund, it wuz blak, nao is grene. WP shud has medimakashun chanjid, aifinkso.
Ohai, WRr.
Izzit full moon oar sumfin? Teh pyooters be reel crazee 2day.
muss bee…ai hadeded succh a weerd thyme awn mai pyooter….
nawt-secund, teh Caps Lokk ting wuz bakwardz…butt ai fixededed dat bai loggin awt adn den bak in….butt den manee ob mai kool effekts had dissappearededed…adn mai desktawp bakgrawnd wuz goneded….wuz eezee tew fix…but weerd…
Mr. Mistoffelees? Yoo now you’re not sppos’d to get so hidden that hoomans sit on yoo, rite?
Evul master plan. I ponderz it.
Dis maeks me lawl
Hay! U useded mah piccie! =D
Awsum! Glad ebbyone luffs teh Sorchas!!
Pitah kittah gettin squisheedz.
Chairman the kitteh
oh hia
oh hiaz
i m fein…. feelin gud
um……..
how r yoo? i m fein!