NO SITZ!! …NO SITZ!!!
NO SITZ!! …NO SITZ!!! I BE HERE!!!
u shud awlwayz look b4 u sit down.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: figlioitalia
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Cheezburger Network Blog
I has a FIERCE!
Good thing I’m wearing my Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses. Other wise there would be brains all over the place. What a CUTE kitteh!
Got yer own pair of Joo Jantas, or did yew steal Zaphod’s? Fess up, Maus!
But, but, I thot U wuz warmin’ da seet up fur meh, li’l kitteh!
Oh wait, I bet he gived dem to yew for conga-rats on yer nawt-secund !
be nice you sound mean
congarats Maus! how about a nice egg nog wiff scotch in honur of dis silly liddle cutie pie?
Pi? Ai wanz pi!
I lurvs the liddul tongue sticking out of kitteh’s mouth
ai no isnt it so cute
It’s a wee bit early for scotch. I’ll have the nog by itself though. Thanks!
Iz neber too early for scotch. and concatulashuns on ur nawt sekund. Willz dere be song an danz?
It’s allus 5 o’klawk sumwerez.
Iz fynded a wytch; mai ah burnz hur?
Kmon; U jst knood ah’d reakt lyk daht ib ah seed dhis messayj!
Fwap! *liddel bottlol flyez throo teh innerdimenshunaltymespayse portal an bops Maus King skware on schnozz. (Heh. I spent awl yestiddy tryin tew imajin a produckshun ware Clara gets froen at teh Maus King…sillee me!!)
*Maus clutches his chest and staggers from side to side. He spins slowly to the ground and lays on his back. Suddenly, his arms and legs rise and twitch once, twice, three times, then fall to the ground with a THUMP!. The Mouse King is dead!*
Clara starez, ahgast, at whut she’s done. Her momma dint raise her to be no murderer! Suddenly she bethinks hersef ov the bottlol. Mayhap it contaynes teh majic revival poshuns? *prys MK’s jaws open, glug glug glug goes teh poshun down his throte* Clara stands back (graycefully) to see what happens…..
NO! If the Mouse King wins, then the ballet is over! You’ll have a bunch of angry ticket holders on your hands!
Little does Clara know that the bottle contains Debriefing Fluid. The Mouse King’s pants slowly disappear…
OH NOEZ!!! Waht abowt teh chilld wrenz?
*finks berry kwikklee*
Heer in Cheezland, duzznt teh Maus King turn intew a Russian foar teh sekkund akt? So he can haz Russian cheez?
oh nose!
runsveryfast to get the defib… defrib… things to put on Maus’ chest to rebibe hiz hart
*places padduls on Maus’s chestal area
*shouts”Clear”!
*oh nose! Does it agayn. “Clear”
Falls back in releef, tu seeing Maus’s eyes flutter and his bref return…
oh hai, be teh duk tor in awty enz
*ptus spethy spoke on maus’s chestal area
Maus’s thump-thump, iz thumping!!
*luks at poshun boddil*
“nawt fro uce wit smll chilld wren!”
Fiev wai ty led closlee by TEH MAUS!!! Followed by Annipuss, Zauberflolute, princessmu, and Leeza-b!!! Conga ratz tew awl!
soooooo cuties!! i wove tis one! iz soooo adornables!!
rawr!!!!!!
Anju wil get pointiiz if yu sitz! RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR!!!
an mai pointy ens aer reddee
Armed an snorgalishus.
#1 post!!! Ai thinkz!
no wanna be pankake!!!!!
ah.. .but yood be a kyoot pankake an then ai kood skrapbook yu fore awl posterioritee.
halp!!!!11!
I iz not invisibul!!!
litlol feets…
litlol tongue…
oh, teh stripeys….
Uh ohz! Lolnascar daynjerrussly close to splort territory. Heer, tayke this 50’s bayving cap wiv hollee an misseltow awn it– *snap* Ooh, sawrry, dint meen to pinch.
Anna pare of Joo Janta Sooperchromatic glasses *set on nose*.
There, u sayfe now, Lolnascar!
whew zb….dat wuz close.
fanks!
berry kewl abitar lolnascar!
heatmeizer FTW!!!!11!!
fanks!
I lubs the heatmeizer!!
Hes too much!
an ooh, teh floofiness of the belleh!
*luks aweh kwikly*
belleh? oh, i dint….see….teh….
bell…
STOPPIT kats, ur tryin to sooba, sabo….ur tryin to make me splort!
diddun see teh belleh? I don see teh tale! Manx kute is wunna da wurst dangurus kinds.
Mebeh teh kitteh needs sum retail therapy.
…
…
…
…
*tumbleweed rolls by*
…
…
…
Ok. Ai go nao.
Hedesk
iz teh lack o tail maek kitteh xtra kyoot, as ifin he has it curling unnaneath himin fearz!
skweeeee skweeeee!!!
*CCC caromes crazilee down teh thred, Sooper Joo Jantas flyin off ebberyware they are needed*
Got one, katsRme? Heer, hab som hawt choklit an som candy kaynes an relax a bit. Imminent splort can be taxin!
Icanhazscotch also? I had forgotted how scarifyin a splort or near splort can b.
Do not want.
yeppers… here yu goe
.
psst> itz nise to see yu agen mai frend.
Fankee ZF fer teh hawt choklit, i will stir it wif the candy kayne an feels better.
An i aprishiaet teh Joo Jantas.
I did not has sum.
*puts JJs on to pra..pper..keep frum splorting*
Must..tikkle..belleh…
Oh, de blu blu ies
an teh sheer behbehness ob himz. iz berri kyoot
That’s what my cat should’ve said when my brother sat on her the other day…
Iz yer kitteh ok??
Beturr yet…iz it still 3Dz??? ;P
Yes on both counts! :]
God save teh kittehs…!!1 Or something like that…:P
Apparently sat on before. Has no tail! Rightfully askeered.
Whare’s hims tayl? I kant see it!! Oh Noes! Whare’s da tayl!?!
Ikea kitteh – assemblee nawt completed.
Sumone assemblyied hims without instructions.
I thot it seemed liek something was missing…
mebbe teh kitteh neds 2 goez to de retetail shopz
For that’ll be teh end ov him!
*hed desk*
…groan…
Grabz sunglassez and pulz CHRG down furder… OMCC dat was KLOS! Da behbeh TEW KYOOT!
.
Behbeh, ai wud neber sitz awn yew… snorgle yew, debenetely… sitz, neber!
.
*psi* ai finx ai m in lub, aifinxso!
eeekk!1!
teh bebbeh kitteh iz sew teeny tiny…
*splert*
teh floof iz sew spikee…
*splort*
teh mouf iz sew pinkee…
*fallz down mostly ded frum teh kyoot*
Halp! brainfire is down!
Yoo kant be ded! *starts CPR, whissels for teh CCC*
Teh CCC arryvs, wit sirens skreeming! Ther is holiday dekorayshuns awl over it. Eech kitteh rescuer is wayrin a beeg red bow! Dr. TinyCat heemsself is wayring a Santy Klaws hat!
They gets out teh brayn scoops – *scoop scoop scoop!*
Bak inna hed – *kerflop!*
Tuk it in – *tuk tuk tuk* and then teh tayp – *tayp tayp tayp*
Noo CHRG!!! Heer ya go. And sum splorts purrtekshun shayds, with red an green onnem! I finks yoo will be OK nao!
whew…dat wuz klose!
fank u CCC gremlin. mai braynes wuz leeking awl ober teh playce!
*putz teh CHRG on tite mai braynebox bone. pullz teh tayp tite*
dere, nao wid teh CHRG n teh purtekshus shayds, ai shud b ok…
(as long as ai don luk at teh bebbeh kitteh belleh)
OMG, dis gonna kil meh ded! iz awl ai kin du nawt tu splort at dis cyootie, an nao ai haz dis pikshur in meh hed ub Dr. Tinycat in santa hat. halp!
*Brings teh CCC an gets out teh CHRG (wdoi) and teh skotch den realises he duzznt no wat he is doin* Where is Dr Tinykat? *Yells fur doktor tinykat.*
Is OK – Dr.TinyCat was awlreddy heer! And he wuz wayrin himz hollyday finery. So wuz teh emergensea respawns kittehs.
SPLOOOOOORT! :3
OH Noes!! Unattended splort! Awl doez mai bestest:
*blows wissel for CCC*
Dr. TinyCat and teh emergensea reskyew kittehs arryve! Teh CCC is pulld by a teem uv 8 tynee reyndeers!
Teh kittehs leeps owt! They vacs up teh brayns! Tehy washie washie washie teh brayns in lemmin wadder (ooh, dat stings a liddle!)
They scoops em bak inna hed!
And nao, kittehs. Tyme to tayp up RosenVitae’s hed! And a noo CHRG!! Fir teh hollyday seesun wii haz teh reyndeer antler rubber glubs!
*gits owt a RARG, puts it on, tayps it up tite* Ther!
Heer is a floofy blankie an sum hawt choklit an sum sordid choklits.
Yu rest awyle an yule bee beddar soon!
(An fanks, Gremlin, fir teh resque Ai culd copee an paste!)
I is wild aminal! I is savij tigur! Yu are my tastee prey!! I will kik kik kik and chomp an claw an rend!!! I has terrifyin feroshus – feriossi – feersitudin – skarieness!!!!
AN KWIT CALLIN ME KYOOT!!!!!
but yu iz da coot!!! Savij yes but still has da coot!
jes let me tikkul ur stripee kitteh belleh…
Oh dere he is. Sawwie Dr TinyCat didnt c u dere.
Damn u wp dis isnt where I wanted dis
Is OK! I saw yor commint. WP hayts us awl. *shayks mah own orinj fist at WP, fur gud mezhur*
is too kyoot!
*SPLORT*
Dr. TinyCat will be bizzee today! *blows wissel for CCC*
Dr. TinyCat and teh emergensea reskyew kittehs arryve! Teh CCC is pulld by a teem uv 8 tynee reyndeers!
Teh kittehs leeps owt! They vacs up teh brayns! They scoops em bak inna hed!
And nao, kittehs. Tyme to tayp up jmcrash’s hed! And a noo CHRG!! Is it tyme to git owt teh reyndeer antler rubber glubs for teh hollyday seeson? I fink it is!
*gits owt a RARG, puts it on, tayps it up tite* Ther!
Gremlin iz dere firzt ade courz I kan do to halp Dr TinyCat wid all teh splorts?
Ohai, Klolzz – we duzzint has a splorts-kayr trayning program that aym awayr uv. If yoo sits bak and watches sum uv teh uthers, yoo will pik it rite up!
Kitteh haz a cyoot. Ah fink Ah’s okays ef nawt lukks at da lilleh belleh an tynee lilleh toze an da eensy-bitty teefs an floofy hed an –
SPLORT.
Ooopsie.
*Clears teh area fur Dr.TinyCat and hiz krew to werk*
Eberyone stay back. Dis mediclol emer…empurr…stuff. Please to be lettin Dr.TinyCat thru.
O, fanks 4 ur halps. Felz bedder nao.
fankQ gremlin, for the splortij resque. ai feelz much bettr nao!
Yor welkum! Yoo is lukking mush beddur nao.
Yew wants to wrassel meh?!
Oh mai!!
Teh Pinky tung,
Teh likkerish jellybean toepads
Teh widdle bloo iyes,
Teh earses too big for himz widdle hed,
Teh whiskerywiskers…..
Teh floofy baybee belleh…
Teh OMCC I HAS HAD A BIIIIIG SPLORT!!!!!!!!…………..KLUNK……
Tidmum iz down!!! Iz Ai teh onlies wun heer tu halp? Gud ting Az weering mai Joo Janta Super-chromatic Peril Sensitive sunglasses sews Ai nawt splorting 2! (Ai hopes tidmum dinna goes ded whyle Ai waz typin awl dat.)
OK heer goes:
Teh emergensea reskyew kittehs arryve! Teh CCC is pulld by a teem uv 8 tynee reyndeers!
Teh kittehs leeps owt! They vacs up teh brayns! Tehy washie washie washie teh brayns in lemmin wadder (ooh, dat stings a liddle!)
They cecks teh brayniyum map fir plaisments cuz tidmum haz lots ob brayniums an puts dem awl bak inna brayniaum cabbity
Furst teh noo hollyday CHRG-fir teh hollyday seesun wii haz teh reyndeer antler rubber glubs!
*gits owt a RARG, puts it on, tayps it up tite wif dukie tayp wiff holly pikshur awn* Ther!
Heer is a floofy blankie an sum hawt choklit wif whippee cream an sum sordid choklits.
Yu rest awyle an yule bee beddar soon!
Phew!!! Fankyew teasel. I feeline bedder awlreddy.
I has lots ob brayniums? Hoo knew!! Stingin a liddle after bein warsed in lemmin wadder, but wow! Sparklee shiney brayniums nao.Cool!!
*Cheks seff in meeror to see RARG* *Grins* berry festib
Lubbin dese sordid chokklits. Whoohoo!!
Starts finkin bowt boring stuff so as not to peeek at sweet bebbeh an Splort awl on teh place again.
Ani tiem, tidmum!
Heer, haz a pear ob Joo Janta Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive sunglasses! Dey offer xtra protekshun an r bery, bery stile ish tu!
Den yu cans luk at does rly, rly big handpaws! Gonna bee a biggie kitteh, aifinkso!
Why Fankee kinely teasel. Got a feeline I gonna need dese!!!
Dats sure a sweet kitteh. An yes, Big kitteh Ifinkso wen himz awl groed up.
Awwwwww.
Looks liek mah Rudie when she furst started climbin and runnin rownd
Kwik! Gimmee duh snorgle snorkel… Allergees be durned, Ima goin in!!
u r teh bwave wun 2 taek on teh fieerceness ov dis bebbeh kitteh. himz haz teh pointy endz ov KYOOT!
Do yew SEE teh santa hat I putted on mai kitteh in da I-con? Ob cowerse I haz a brayve! Da KYOOT is wurth it!! *SNORGLE, SNORGLE*
* testing*
u passed the test, congrshulatsheonions
Iz kute ittle kitteh
Warning: close proximity to ferocious may result in wounds by kitteh claws
I meanted ferocious feline…
Ai iz ferocious! RWAR!
I saw u leev bafroom wif durty hans!
u washes them b4 tuching meh!
NO MOAR SKWISH!
ohmai, CCC beeng rilly bizzee tuday, wif awl teh spontanee…spawntinus….unkontrooled splortages!!!! Tidmum! Yu OK naow?
Gremlin, heer Ai iz, reddy tu halp yu cuz yu werkin obbertyme heer!
Ai has me a pare uv Motersykkle Mirrer Sunglosses Sew Dark Can Nawt Ebben See Me sew Aifinkso Ai be safe frum splorting…. but just tu be sayf, gimme wun uv dem swimhat fingies, ‘k? Just in case uv…..oooooohhh noooo……
(whew) awlmost gotted me, but Ai just layed bak and thot of Englund. Ai sayf naow.
turtlol slowlee rownds up loose peeses ub branes dat xcaped…. puts inna bawks fur lader. Sumwun mite need dem!
wut a dangerus bebbehkitteh dis wun iz!!!! Shuda comes wif a worning labble.
This not the pillo sekshun, buddy
This the pet sto!
man that kitteh iz funny
that iz histarickle!
wat an adorable Manx kitteh!
i like that cute kitteh i no i wouuldnt sjit on the kitteh baecause that would hurt like crazy.
always look b4 u sit down iz could be dere
It’s better than my cat at least. But anything would be better than a cat who deliberately jumps onto the seat right before a fat man sits down.
oh, an also, (this is for everyone) before you can see your new avatar you may need to clear your cookies and/or your cache. this is under “tools” for firefox, click “clear private data,” make sure only “cookies” and “cache” are checked. myself, i’ve been able to make avatars appear just by clearing the cache (these are images the your browser saved from before, to load quickly instead of waiting for new ones. you have to get rid of these.) on Interwebs Exploder, it’s “internet options,” “general” tab, “browsing history,” “delete” button. delete your temporary internet files and cookies.