Dog germs! eww, eww, eww, eww, eww, eww, eww, eww,
yuk! y wuz goggies evin invented?
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: Lozbinator
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Mom! He’s touching me!
WOW! Anni, didja see dat Maus? wus sooper fast!
It’s all in the wrist…
ai dunno wat yu meen, ai’m shore!
.
* lukks at Maus’ mussulee wrists *
“A pinball wizard got such a supple wrist…”
Yu is def, dum adn blynd tu? Wow, yu gets teh speshul sillybrayshuns fur teh pinball wizard nawt sekkund!
.
Wat yu liek fur noms adn dwinks?
*snerk*
What? I can’t hear you…
Listnin to u, I gets teh moozik
Gazin at u, I gets teh heet
Followin u, I climbs teh maotin
I gets x-citement at ur cute liddle feets
Rite behine u, I see teh minions
On u, I see teh gory
Frum u, I gets debweefin
Frum u, I gets teh scary
.
.
Oh, dat went frum Maus to Ebil Maus.
Sowy.
niselee dun!
This LOL-talk makes me feel crazy. Idiocracy anyone? ….Anyone?!?!
nope, aifinkso iz just u.
Bueller?… Bueller?
Mahvelouz segue, Romeow darling!
Tommy kan u heer me????
We’z nawt gonna taek it,
Neber didz and neber will.
Ai awlwaiz finkedso dat lyne sayed ‘soulful’ wrist. Sillee me.
Yep, beetin Maus iz nawt eezee!
can haz fast tubes liek maus?
but but but ai fort wii wus BFF!
Schmoo!!!
Kwikk liddlol Scrooge Mc Pigiii, runz tu deh ty boot EEEEk!!!!
hmm… does tehy has crabs in todai? ai has a crabby…
You can get medicines for that, you know…
yesh, ai tryed taht old laydee creem dat lcb has but but but eet nawt halp. awl ai needs issa holiday sumware nyce adn warm ware ai can be sumware stoopy ppl arr nawt. Mai horriblol week week week; ai has juss libed eet!
U kin kum heer tu tekz ass?? it b warm heer….. Well, not tuday….tuday it b kinda chilleee…. onlee 50 degreez….. adn klowdee…. oohhh….dotz
Oar, he cud come to Floriiiiiiidia..where it is warm an…wait, did he sai “sumware stoopy ppl arr nawt”?…oh, nebber mind.
I dew bleev dey haz sum scrooge litez adn scrooge tinsel adn scrooge faised lawleepopz adn scrooge snoeglobez adn scrooge windchimez.
Mine dew, we wuzn’t eggzaklee slakkin, waz we?!
ai nose! aifinkso Maus mebbeh has a minyun du teh typee typee fur him
Slander!
*Slaps teh piggeh with his gauntlet*
I challenge you, sir!
OMG!!! deh road dentz b fie ting mungst dem selbz!!!!
o, ai seas… * slaps Maus wib gauntlet * ai sept!
.
Nayme teh thyme, plaice adn weppon; littlol Maus…
Here! And now! Choose your weapon!
*Gets out a wooden box and opens it*
You can have spaghetti or linguini. Wet noodles at 20 paces!
*gasp* WET NOODLES! Izzn’t dat a bit xtreem?
I was cruely insulted, slandered, and libeled! Death is too good for him. I wn’t him to suffer. TO THE PAIN, PIGGEH!
U rite
*Tribble pulls up a chair*
proceed
oboi, nudelz!
.
*moe pulls up a chayr. an a tabel wif playt, napken, nyfanfawrk, an a beeg bowl ub marinara sause*
*getz pompoms*
em aye see kay eee why em oh yu ess ee!
*cheerz!*
oops, wraung rodint…
**Gitz popKormz and settlolz in fur deh funz.
I braut M&Ms, wanna micks and share? Wud yew like sum soda, ai has awl kindz?
*unfolds teh lawn chair*
*big cuppof kawfee*
*chawklit chip cookies fer eberybuddy*
*waits fer teh fun to start*
Ai haz a berry thikk milkshayk. Sschhhluurrrp!
hmm… * eyes Maus’ limp noodle adn selects some linguini *
.
ON GUARD!
OK, guise – we awl kaym to see a FITE, nawt a DANTZ!!!
*Maus turns his back, grinds up a little blue pill, and applies it to his noodle*
My noodle is limp no longer. Have at you, varlet!
* GP turns, swaps wet linguini fur strayt frum packet spaghetti *
.
* taeks 5 payces *
.
* turns… *
You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
* Maus, distracted by teh handsome, yet Fronsch stranger duzzn’t see GP whip him wib a strand of overcooked tagliatelle *
You are using Bonetti’s Defense against me, eh?
ah, but ai bet GP iz NAWT left handed!
* flings pasta sos at Maus *
.
* feels bad abowt fiting a blynd, deff, dumb Maus *
.
* feels better awl ob a sudden *
Teh croud aer bayin fur bludd – oar at leest sum bolognayze sorse
Oh, there’s something I ought to tell you. I’m not left-handed either.
pfft… a layme excuse…
.
* GP picks up a cannelonni *
*In the heat of battle, Maus gets out a book*
*It’s a Peruvian cookbook*
Lesse. Cui recipes… cui recipes…
:shocked fais:
.
* lukks at large pot ob boiling wadder nerbussly *
.
Umm, Maus… whut yu sai wii forget awl tihs sillyness? huh? put dat bukk down… huh? whut yu sai? huh?
Well… I suppose. Let’s shake hands and forget about it…
*GP does not see the Joy Buzzer in Maus’ hand*
*Pops GP int2 protektive bublol*
.
*nawt bublol frum pot uv boiling wadderz
hmm… ai nawt rly a hand shaky kinda pig, whut wib habbing paws adn awl… mebbeh wii shud juss nod pololitely adn backawaiveryslow? nawt taht ai nawt truss yu, ob corse..
Fair enough. But drop the noodles, piggeh! I trust you about as far as I ca throw you. And other cliches…
Haow far can u throe a cliche?
otay… * drops noodles * adn spaghetti * adn jar ob sos *
OK u two. Yoo herd teh cween! Brayk it up! Brayk it up! An eet ur noodlez! Heer, ai haz sum nyse proscuitto and creem sauce.
Wif ur bad knee u shouldn’t be throwing any cliches, Maus.
pfftsheduzzntcareabowtmaibadkneesnooo!!
Well, u didn’t want teh massage sessions I getted 4 u. Whut moar does u want from me?
umm… lemme sea… yu want list? otay den…
.
A ruum ob mai own (nawt want tu share wib Mick no moar – he snores)
Balloloons – nyce wons
Cookies (chokklit)
Dillers, Army (chokklit)
E…
Elafonts (chokklit)
Floofy blankie
Gnu hat, scarf adn glubbs fur teh pleh wintur
Hyooge Marshdamallow filled Chokklit Manitee
I…
Lissen, I has to get back to my pleh meeting now, so u just bring ur list wif u when u has ur annual review in a few weeks.
I has a list of my own to go over wif u. Mick added some items to.
Inneressing bukk tu reed
Jewel encrusted CHRG(wibdiamundsonnit)
Kewl gnu pyooter gayme
Lawts ob hawy chokklit wenebber ai wants eet
M…
Munnies, fur awl teh werk yu maeks me do!
Nawty Barn (sekrit escape passij map)
Otters (bebbeh wons tu snorgle)
Pork Py… mmm pork py…
Q…
Qwalitee thyme wib mai forts adn no hedbats
Rabid Weesul shock collolars
Sing me a song!
TTI Feesh adn Cheeps (teh best inna whirrld!)
U…
Underlings ob mai own
Voles (chokklit, cherry filled)
Water slyde inna garden
Xray glasses
YNGuinness Grrl
Zip up slippers
.
Fankies.
Elfanents (chokklit)
Fun rownd weel for xersiiz
Guiness, cawld
H…
Wow, did ai taek 2 long 2 refresh!
umm… well… inna werd… Yesh.
I likez a pig hoo noes wut he wantz.
{{{mj}}} does yu has pork py inna Merica?
Iz it like a pot pie?? wii haz chikkin pot piez and beef pot piez. doan think I haz ebber had a pork pie, tho. I haz had sheperdz pie. dat b verrrry gud. :Smilol:
nose! eet issa littlol py dat yu eets cawld! is nawt liek cottidj py oar aneefing liek taht!… * googloling… * ah, heer dey is:
.
http://www.mmppa.co.uk
Mai gudness!!! dey b protekted like an indangered speceez!!! I dint noez fudz wuz protekktid!!! And dey sew kyoot!!! I think if I had wun I wud putting it on deh shelf tu admire!!!
OMG LOL!!1!
P’nutz! Popcorn! Ice cold beer! Get your refreshminks here! Suuveneer programs!
*buyz deh program.
U kant tell deh playerz wifowt a program!
Even wif deh program u kant tell ‘em much.
*psst – cweenie, wuts dat liddol blooo pill?*
aifinkso iz eivver viagra oar cialis. nawt shur wich wun iz bloo.
viva las vegas!!!
Dat wud be de Viagra, or “vitamin V”
I dunno, jamamamamama… I don’t fink I haz ennee bloo pillz.
*Chekz med sin bawkz*
I haz deh jellow pillz (asprinz tu thin deh bludz)
adn deh wite pillz (tu lower deh blud preshurz)
deh green pillz (tu makez mii happee)
and anuzzer kinda white pillz (tu keepz deh koless tearawlz in linez)
But no bloo pillz. Nope, nun atawl.
Funny thing about those pills. If you don’t swallow them fast enough, you get a stiff neck…
*falls off chare laffing* OW!
**Imaginez maus stuk lukking up at
**seeling wif deh stiff nek.
*tips chair over laffing*
*joins 4.5K on flour*
hmmm, woodnt Maus get board stiff by seeling?
I fought u slappeded wit glubs or laayed down a gauntlet fur a challenge?
Micksed mettafours, we haz dem.
Eye furgotted wear eye wuz fur a seccont. Silleh mee!
Coarse wit slander whi doan’t u jus git a loloyer? Izz teh merican wai!
Thus “A Boy Named Sue.”
*snerk*
Pleh, pleh an moar pleh
Mai liddle great-nephew maed dis faes wen hims dad held him up 2 kiss me! Ai laffed `coz it wuz juss liek “Pleh, dog germs”
Ai so sowwy. You cant be DAT gruss, can youh?
Noe, but liddle boiz doan’t liek kissin owld wimmin. Ai thortit wuz berry funnee an wuz nawt upsettid at awl!
Old ladey kisses- we haz dem- Schmoo!
yuck cyooties
youtube.com/watch?v=VD2UyHq06kE
4th
…of July?
…Apostle?
…Amendment?
[Go]…and conquer?
…Bridge?
….Firth uv?
….Grayde?
…right
…coming
…thought? * i know dat one dusnt werk, but wutteber*
…and kniveth?
…with
…wheel
hence…
…ub grabbity?
…[may teh ___] bee wif yew?
*giglols*
*groan*…moe, dat wuz a good wun!
get de antiseptic, get da biololing water!aaaaahhhhhh!
Get sum iodine!
lucy an snoopy!
(oops, dis iznt me, its sumwun else)
Doggeh breaf eben badder!
Um..izza lyon. Shoodent wii bee gettin inna car?
if yew has tew ask, is tew layte………. jus sayin
*psst, if yew has tew ask, ish tew layte* jus sayin
Eye lyke ur hat jamamakitty. Ebreewun haz drezzed up dere abatarz sew coot!
You should put a hat on YOUR avatar. Very festive, aifinkso!
Um…Maus eye wood luv to, but eye doant’t know how.
Mye lack uff puter skillz, let mee show u dem.
Eye want tu putz leetul lites awl round teh sawcer,
butt eye haz no idear how.
Tribble…me, too…I is a sad pyuter illlitermate kinda purrson.
Ohai COL, hower u? Eye hazzen’t seen u inna whyle.
Ai maded u oen – see my pickture after u klicky on mai naem.
That’s for Tribble. Sorry COL! nawt sure wut ai kud do.
Wow Karen fanks! Tee Hee, iz lyke dem trukz an busses
dat haz teh wrref onna front.
fanks twibbuls……… ai wish himz widdel face wuz more bizibl….. but teh hat makes teh cat…….. or cat in teh hat….. or yew can leeve yer hat on…….or wuteberr
yer abatar needs a hat…….. LCB shared a website wif us dat yew can use to bling up yer pikshur……. is pikipimp dot com …… ai fink…… let me luk…
yep, dats it……. cud be fun fur yew!!
Oh fanks jamamakitty. Eye go luk now.
Wunderd wen sumbudee wuz gonna notiss dat!
A widdul lion-kin!
Opps, dis was suppozd ta go in the thread as a reply to Tribble’s Um…izza lyon. Well, close.
Ohai Martha, hower u?
Eye wuz beginnin tu fink eye wuz teh onlee one conserned bout teh lolyon.
Auuuugh! My lips touched DOG LIPS!
Peanuts ref FTW!
**floofy white kitteh runs frew teh room, low-rider style, wif tayle poofed owt lyk bottlol brush, an flies under teh bed**
Y’all are NAWT gonna beleev wat happened befoar lunsch!
My boss is tryin tew play MATCH MAKUR!
**hides under furrvest corner ov bed**
♫♫♫
Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match,
Find me a find,
Catch me a catch,
Night after night in the dark I’m alone
So find me match,
Of my own.
♫♫♫
I’ve considered calling my lolyer, tew find owt hao musch tiem I wud get foar beetun up a cop. **ebil grin**
That’s the spirit!
EM, I shure cudda used ur halp.
Earlyur dis week, boss axked me if I gnu who such-an-such wuz. Nope, wuz my reply. Boss sed, ‘Him inkwired about if u iz singlol oar nawt”. I sez, “Legallee nawt, but foar awl intints an porpoises, yes”.
Sew, boss comes into teh room I werk in an BRINGS GUI! OMCCWFTBBQ.
I wanted tew crawl unner my desk.
It wuz kinda funnee, lissenin tew dere conversayshun, tho. Guies kin be sew transparint sumtymes. Dey wuz discussin hiz car, hao musch munnee him makes, ware him lykes tew eet, etc. I did teh best I cud tew keep strayt fayse az I kept workin.
Tawlk abowt puttin a girl onna spot…
oooooh spots…………
Ai spoze it’z flatterin, but Ai gess u kud do wivowt it at teh momint!
Menz kin b sew sillee sumtymez….Dey fink awl wii wantz is fansee karz and such stuffz…..
* keeps on drivin’ past *
Wut u dribin, LPB?
*winks*
c’est une 1967 Cheby Corbette Styngrai inna Tuxado Black… yu liek?
Yesh I do. Iz windo split inna bak?
Wanna taek me foar a spin?
* opens le porte * rhsb steps in *
.
* lpb guns teh enjin, lites up rear tires adn shoots awf down teh JCH4K boolevard *
Yay! *snerk* When awl we wuntz is fantzee fuds!
tehn aifinkso GP iz ur pig, ai meen, man!
.
u iz studyin 2 bee chef? (klap klap stomp)
.
GP! He lieks chokklit, pizza, punkin flayvur pyes,
gonna be a grate Chef sumdai!
♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
:smiloley fais:
.
Oh yesh yesh yesh ai lieks teh noms… rite nao ai is inbenting a nyce pasta dish, wib a squeekee littlol surprise!
u shud visit Portland sumtyme. Lotsa foodies heer!
.
Uv corse, iz nawt zacklee warm & sunny…
but inna summer is teh GLORIOUS!!
I heard that!
whut? whut? ai did nawt sai nuffing… uh uh… nope, aifinkso mussa bin summedy else, uh huh, yesh. mebbeh lolcatburglar… yup, go berate hur, fankies.
OOOh! Ai lubs me a rodent dat cooks! (nawt so much wun dat is IN de fud…)
Yesh, man who cooks for woman gits points.
I iz car chick an has been known to drool ober sertin wuns, but guies are sew funnee wen tryin tew impress gurlz.
“That Don’t Impress Me Much” by Shania comes tio mind rite nao.
whoa hole on der widdle skitty kitty, doan runnaway sew fass
watts teh “match” allabout?? could bee a crazee catman
Yes Cheezes cries! Gets in the car iz a Liolon, and he bringed a spit bull…halp!
his name is “Spot” ??
yoo shudda jest done the “and bend and snap”
Dat wudda putted him ober teh edj, aifinkso!
BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
ah bonjour, madame… vous etes une laydee poleecewummin?
No, but I cud gets costoom an purrtind. *winkies**
WAIT rhsb
♫ If it is a rich man
didle deedul didle digga digga deedul didle dum ♫
Eym just sayin u mite wanna at leest sai “ohai”
OHHHH, naow ai getz it! Fiddler onna Ruuf is abowt a golddigger???
Himz wants tu bee a wealthy man sew hee can biddy biddy bum awl dai.
is dat wut dey cawls it?? “biddy biddy bum” lol
**begins finkin abowt biddy biddy bums an heds to NB**
cum, he tole me
dum biddy biddy bum
on mai drummmmmmmmmmm
*rollz on bak adn bat! bat! bat! at deh rhsb kitteh nawt hitting hur,
*just batting in dat genrull dy rek shun.
*Dust bunneh iz stirred up bai deh battingz adn rollz arownd.
.
AAAAHHHHHH CHOOOOOO!!!!
bwesh yew
10 Q!!
*batz at jamammamammamammamaakitty*
*runz krozt ruum adn zipz down deh hawl.
**sneeks up behind cween, whaps hur onna tayle an runz teh oppozit direkshun**
Online dating – nawt always so grayt, akshuly.
Met nawt-sekkund hubbeh online, thro ebay ov awl tings! Nawt grate at awl. Left MA 1 week befoar nawt-sekkund annibersaree. Oh, an him punched me inna arm awn 6-monf annibersaree.
I nawt closin enny doors, but plz tew let me get DIBORSED nawt-sekkund!
I lub dat yuh sai nawt-sekkund. An Ai suwwy dat yer hubbeh wuz teh ebil mahnz. wee can go hubbeh-huntin tugevvers! *gets teh hubbeh-huntin shotguhn*
Ackshully, I has had 2 huzbins. Teh 2nd wun iz diborsin me nao.
*gits teh hubbin-huntin shawtguhn*
I lib wif bofe my hubbins – current and ex. I tink uv it as reverse Mormonism
oh mai……….. frees cumpneeeee, lol
:shokkee fais:
.
I wudn’t eben want tu b in same town az mai ex.
.
::::shiverz at deh thot uv ex in same howse:::
Dis is a liddle skaree!
Nawt if you were me, H #1, H#2. We be frenz. A litlot stranj to otters, purrhaps, but nawt to us.
[snerks at own self]
ohai, HHNF….can Ai comes alawng, tu? Mai has-been, well, Ai nawt diborced.
Hims ded.
Ai wood lyke tu fynd a gnu wun, k?
Duz we needz a tag? Iz dere a limitz awn dems? Hmm?
Ai’z a gud shawt, tu!!! Ai has a gub!!!
Um . . . Therz no raisin why yoo culdnt hav a cuppa cawfee or sum french fries or sumfing low-key. Just as frenz, uv korse. Aym just sayin . . . keep yor opshuns opin, gurl!
Keep yor eyz open, and mebbe yool fynd a man with a hart that is faythful and troo, and a gentle hand. Oh, and he hasta luv kittehs, yes, ov korse! That too!
Yesh, MUST lub kittehs.
I iz gonna has kittehs an lyk teh sayin goes, “Lub me, lub my kitteh”.
COOTIES!!!!!
the faces fit sooo well
Awwwwwwwwwwwww.
:::::SHOCKZ:::::::
.
Wut??? no rant??? no kumplaintz??? Duz u b sik, lolllllllllolololol?? Kin I gitting u a hawt cuppa tea oar sumfing?? How bowt a nice snug blankee?? wii haz sum lubblee Cheezpeepz Map Blankeez. U kud rapping urself up in deh Cheezee lubz.
MJ, here’s a chunk of ice I just brought back from Hades. It appears to have frozen over. Oh, I see why. Our friend actually likes a pic…
:snerk: He duz dat ebberee now and den….just tu keeping us on ower toez I fink…. I seem tu remember wun oar tow uzzerz he sed sumfing nice bowt….
.
lolllllllllolololol, if u b owt der plz tu b on ower map!!!
.
Deh map b at maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&ll=44.412202,-92.823486&spn=0.847561,1.763306&z=9&msid=103775879896697322828.0004573f951750ea89599
.
Deh masterlist b at cweenmj.wordpress.com/ichc-helperz/master-list-uv-cheezpeepz/
.
To git puttinged on deh map, sending an emayo to cweenmj@gmail.com telling ur ICHC name adn locayshun. deh map b fur awl deh peepz in Cheezland. I putz on ennewun hoo askingz. Noobeez, lurkerz, trollz, comminterz, hooever b asking. Wen I gits deh emayo, I will putting u on deh map and deh masterlist. Den I sending u a emayo bak tu letting u noez it haz ben dun. Itz just dat eezee.
.
Fur maor info on deh mapz adn how to seeing awl deh peepz at wunst, plz go to cweenmj.wordpress.com/ichc-helperz/
.
::Winkee fais::
u new i wud haf tu git a plug in sumtime tuday.
poor goggie, himz felines r hurted *sad faice*
c’mon kitteh, jus a frendly lil shmoo
gets away gets away gets away…………………….
oooohhhh! can i takes little snarly kitteh home?
DOG BREFF!!!!
(Hi cheezfrnz – I is bak frum a sekrit misshun for my hosptial an I coodnt tawk whiel I wuz doin it butnow Im bak at my own pyooter an everthing is good. Hi to all espeshully LCB and JCH4K an – an – everbuddy!)
{{{{{{Duffy}}}}}
.
Hazn’t seeiing u in agez!!
Adn now I haz tu run owt and dew errindz. kant stay tu tawk, but welkum bak!!!
Ai wantedz a hot goggie not a livin goggie…
Billy Idol impression…
you’re doing it pretty well actually.
Testing, Testing.
Am ai bloo?
Kthnxbai
Ai am nawt bloo. Dratz!
Ai gotz a profyle noa and a friend.
But why my naym nawt bloo?
Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!
Dun’t get upset, 3FK! Click awn cweenmj’s name. DAt’ll tayk u to hur blog where she eggpslains hao to turn ur nayme bloo. Dun’t give up!
Deer goggie,
U needz mint.
YUK. Throw it (dog) in the trash can.
Is that a Rhodesian Ridgeback puppy?
No wonder he wants to stay away from the pup. It’s a rhodesian ridgeback. Google up on the history between Rhodesian Ridgebacks and Lions and you will understand better XD.
Dogs FTW!!!!!
dat kitteh is Lion! no such tings a goggie germs!
I didn’t read all of these, but if no one has mentioned it before this pic is doubly funny.
The puppy is a Rhodesian Ridgeback, and they were bred to hunt lions in Africa.
AWESOME DOGS.
WP testing too…. to see if blue… whoopdee doo
Yippee! Thanks to lolcatburgler’s demo! ty!
BLAH! I’ve got dog germs! Get hot water, get some disinfectant!!
LOL that is so cute! My aunt sent me this and I started craking up.LOL
Jus fyi. Big Kitty iz NAWT a TIGER. Iz a LION.