Audacity.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Imminent OHM NOM NOM NOM
Conga rats GP u leed teh brayde! Haow wud u liek to sillybrayte?
Umm… aifinkso juss sum hawt chokklit adn a dubble xtra floofy cheezpeeps blankie tu wrap maiself in.
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Is cawld heer adn ai has a sleepee!
Has teh hawt chokklit wif the ice creems and sprinkles topping, Wraps up in dis cheezpeeps map blankie wif teh hawt waddur boddlol 4 ur pinkie toes
mmm… fankies WRR; ai slink awf tu bed nao. plz tu carry on adn has partee wibowt meh!
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* scampers off wrapped in blankie wib hawt chokklit in won paw adn hawt wadder bottlol in otter *
G’nite GP. Ai fink Ai will follo ur egg sample an go 2 mai bed.
G’nite ebrywun, g’nite!
eep! ai meen in otter PAW, nawt akshully in otter! O, teh Hyooge Manitee!
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awltho… a floofy otter shayped hawt wadder bottlol… yesh, yesh – FTW! ai put inna speshul oarder at teh Ty Bootee, see iffn dey can get sum!
G’nite, GP!! Ai hab tu ask, how yu git dat hot wadder bottlol in da otter?
*wavesez bai-bai tu deh piggeh
{{{gp}}}
Dis kitteh wud lyke mah howse…. i grows dis kinna fud. Braaaaave burdie…..
But nawt fur lawng…..
Who’s nomin who?
Who wouldst nom teh nommer?
Yowza! 3-way braid! Luvz you all, and wanst to know what to do to silly-brate. Here in Yew Ess, it could still be contrued as cocktail hour so will suggest:
martoonies (shaken, nawt sturred)
salted almonds
calamari fritti
whut elz?
Aperitif
Bloody Mary
Collins, Tom or Gin
Daquiri
Evian with a twist
F
Framboui
Glen Fiddich
Hot Dams cinnimon schnapps
I..
Fanks gibbon leftovers
Gushi fuds
Hamburgers wif cheez
Iguana frittatas
Jambalaya
K….
Flaming Dr. Pepper
Giant margaritas
Happy hour specials!
I…
Irish Whiskey
Julep, Mint
Khalua (sp?)
Long Island Iced Tea
M. . .
*whisspurrz: I dont think spelling cowntz heer.
LOL
Fosters bitter (yum)
Guinness (yum twice)
Honey Port
I…
Ice house ale
Jiggers of Gin
Kathlua wif creem
L…
Latte scotchway
Mint julips
Nosferatu Marys
O…
Lone star beer
Manishevits
Neer beer wif teer in ear
Opulant open bar
Perrier w/ JD inside
Q….
Qwervo, Jose
Riunite on ice
Scotch on da roks
Tea, Long Island
U….
Quince Jello shooters
Raspberry apertifs
Sangria
Tea, Long Island variety
U . . .
Umbrella drinkees
Vermouth
Wine, any color
Xtra shots, bartender
Yoo-hoo, bartender, refills plees!!
Zamboni sized glasses, fank yu.
*Stawts too sumple teh dwinks frum A-Z* … annybuddy care to joinz mii?
**kk4 runs intu bar, sneeky slides tu barstool next tu VSC** Why yesh, ai wuld lub tu join yu…nawt let frends drink alone, dat wuld be bad manners! *Summons YNG bartenders* Pleez, drinkees in alpha order, pronto, and, can yu put on da blak cowboi hats? Kthnx
*sneaks in* (it’s a talent I seem to have) *nabs the Fosters (grin)*
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*finds shadowy corner* pop/hiss……glug-glug
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*satisfied sigh* needed dat I did.
kk4 see’s SHD, hur used to dark corners…clinkee bottlols wif SHD, bottoms up, mai frend!!
*Clinkees wif KK4 an’ SHD*
Ohai, SHD … hab yoo been twyin’ anny ober antipodean brews?
Oh hai, VSC, we finds moar fun peeps in dese dark corners, yesh? *sqwintee eyes, clinkee bottlols, luks fur SHD in da shadows*
haven’t seen XXXX here at the venue (where I work), but I guess it’s a matter of time before some artist specifies it in thier rider.
Yesh, difinitloly, KK4! *Scans bah luukin’ foar moar fwiends*
Iffen yoo can bee gittingz yoor handz on sum wun time, yoo should bee twying deh Cooper’s, SHD … is teh win!
Iz sad dat da grate G.Jones nawt had jugs wif XXXX on dem fur da staff at da venue…ai fink he cudda dun dat.
Teh alaskan nut brown ale is teh win!! but u haz tu go tu laska tu fined it.
George didn’t do “I like Beer” like I hoped he would, but he did sing “White Lightnin’”, so that makes up for some of it.
…I like beer. it makes me a jolly good fellow
I like beer. it helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow (makes him feel mellow)
Whiskeys too rough, champagne costs too much, vodka puts my mouth in gear
This little refrain should help me explain as a matter of fact I like beer
(he likes beer)…
Bummer bout da Beer song…ai had it in mai hed dat hole day wen yu sed he wuz singin dat nite. *whispers* dis redneck gurl has cd ub g.jones dat city boy husbin groans and rolls eyes at…
*sings to WRr* Put anudder log on da fire, cook meh up some bacon an sum beens….sit heer at mai feet, cuz ai like yu we yur sweet, den kin tell meh wy yur leevin me….member dat one? Ai nawt member hoo sing dat.
Waylon Jennings did it. Ai finkso someone else diddit too.
*ahem, coff, coff………..la la la la la
He stoppt lubbin her tewdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
they put a reef upon teh dooor
An soon they’ll carry him awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
He stopped loving herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr today
fank que!*
*sob…….wipes teeeeer frum leeky eyees*
*leeps tu feet, clappy floofy paws, takes off ballcap an waves in da air*
Ur makin me hab teers!
issss troooooleeee a teer jerker………..sniff…………
*Clappity clappity woofeh paws*
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Aww, dose songs be beyooteeful! ^-^ Is singin tyme, an ai will try nawt to howl along. …though ai mai sing maisalf. ^-^
ai been playin it on yooo toob ober n ober………tis a classik!!
Ai can slyde in shadow cornur tew? Ai’d lyke a Midas Touch ale, if itz ok tew start in the middul of the alphabit?
U can starts newhere U lieks. U wantz draft oar teh bottlol?
draft, pleez. Teh bottlols tinned to fawl owt ov my jazz talons.
*whispers* in da shadow corner, nawt care bout da alfabit, nawt members da alfabit, akshelly.
Why not, I’m goin’ for a Bellhaven next meself, dat’ll be back up the alla…alfalfa…letter list, man,those fosters oil-can’s are huge, aren’t dey?
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*hic*
Basement Cat, tyred ob harbesting souls awl dai is perplexed bai teh multi-cololored minion ob Ceiling Cat…
BC haz zen moment, realizes ebbryfing da same underneeth, noms with gusto.
Nearsighted birdee finks he has finded a big catlolpiller.
BC spits owt catlolpiller…tractors..pleh!!!
Mai, dis b bigs n furree werm!!
My presdint-elekt has it
burdie haz nurvez uv steel.
Oh hai!!
heer b deh Cheezpeepz map gnuz. Wii now haz 315 peepz on deh map!!! Well, dey not AWL peepz, most uv dem b kittehz….adn sum b uzzer critterz…dere is even a fairy adn a manatee on deh map!! BTW, deh manatee iz spending deh winter in deh Kerry Bean. Deh norf Atlantic wuz gitting tew kold.
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On deh masterlist I haz mading linkeez tu deh kololonee mapz fur awl deh peepz in deh kololoneez so u kin jump rite frum deh peepz name tu deh map deh peepz b on. If dere iz no linkee, dey b on deh main map.
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Deh map b at maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&ll=44.412202,-92.823486&spn=0.847561,1.763306&z=9&msid=103775879896697322828.0004573f951750ea89599
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Deh masterlist b at cweenmj.wordpress.com/ichc-helperz/master-list-uv-cheezpeepz/
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To git puttinged on deh map, sending an emayo to cweenmj@gmail.com telling ur ICHC name adn locayshun. deh map b fur awl deh peepz in Cheezland. I putz on ennewun hoo askingz. Noobeez, lurkerz, trollz, comminterz, hooever b asking. Wen I gits deh emayo, I will putting u on deh map and deh masterlist. Den I sending u a emayo bak tu letting u noez it haz ben dun. Itz just dat eezee.
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Fur maor info on deh mapz adn how to seeing awl deh peepz at wunst, plz go to cweenmj.wordpress.com/ichc-helperz/
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Wii now return u tu ur irreglar commintz.
Trolls tew? Wow modddurn teknologeee kin eben trak down trolls. Hoo’da thunk eet?
Well, I duzn’t haz ennee self-kunfesst trollz, but sebrul self kunfesst lurkerz b on deh map. But I will putting on ennee trollz dat askz tu b putted on. ::smilol fais::
But – teh lurkerz USED to be ablol to be verree aktiv – wehn we had teh voating burger – they cud jump rite in an party sip ate! We NEED teh lurkerz!
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An sumtaims, tehy de-lurk, an say teh moast remarkabul things!
Ai miss da burger votin!
Yesh eet doez seem dat teh trolls doo nawt wish tew b fownd. Ai triid tew owtsmart wun wuns butt trolls has bigger brayns dan Ai fot!
Pleeze NAWT be nomming burdies!
Oh, hai, parrothead!! Did yu recubber frum da concert? Iz challenge tu, um, prepare beforehand in da van…den yu misses a lawt ub it. Nao dat ai older, ai prepares at home an hab sumone tu dribe me tu destinashun.
O hai kaerrykatz4! Da concert, yeppers, dat wuz SUM concert. Ai ak-sa-dentalee gotted stuck in teh NB habing tew many free Guinesses. Barelee made it home to cuk my noms! Az soon az my teenager *shibber* goez to collidge, ai will be able to prepare at home tew! Did u hab lotz of fun?
Weirdpretzel bee nommin’ awl my commints again *sad faiz*
Ai seez yu!! Ai always haz tu clikee refresh fur mine tu shows up in rite plase.
*Yay* … I’z back!
I’z bee makin’ mai oawn lah synga dis moarning, KK4, awong wif teh fruity cuppie-cakies foar teh kittymaus presints.
If annybuddy likez to joinz us fur dinnerz, we bee habbin’ lawts to share … and teh YNGs to serbe it!
**kk4 skids intu room, slides intu chair** YUM!!!
Ware shuds wii bee startingz, KK4? Teh lah syna or teh YNGs? *winkie faiz*
*winkee bak atcha* how bout YNG’s tu serv us lah syna? Best ub bof worlds, aifinkso.
Sawnds lik a gud plan, aifinkso!
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*Summawns YNGs wif lah sygna steeming on teh plates*
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Digz in, KK4!
Fanks, Ai has teh hoemmaed jambone de Bayonne adn lentil soops for noms. Wii can shares wif nebuddee dat haz teh hongreez.
Oh, dat sounds gud, WRr! How wuz fankgibbin fur yu? Ai went tu see mai son woo iz mai babeh, he 21, is cagefighter…(oy, sez Mom) an mai 1 y/old grandson. Was awsome and win.
Wuz teh pleh. piepz inna ground borked Tuesday. Nawt fixed until 2 hours ago. Nawt nebudy wants tu wurk dis weekend.
Oh noes, bummer…dats worst tiem fur pipes tu freez, ovver da holidays! Did yu hab plase tu go tu, or was stuk wif no wadder awl week?
Teh ciddee workers lefted teh T wif me so ai could turn ona waddurs for bafs. but did nawt want to drink teh waddur until teh piep was fixed.
Oh, dats da pleh! Ai wuz marryd tu a plumber fur a lawng time, we had dat tee, ai nawt noes if yu kin buy dem fur yurself or nawt. Ai hope pipes are fixed now.
Annybuddy woo haz teh hongreez iz alwais welcum at dis table, WRR … haow iz yoo?
Phew! *wipes stuckied inturwebs offa paws nda fais* Iz bin gone fur awiel! Butt dun wurry, ICHC’s arti…. awltif…… faek kitteh iz bak! Hmmm….*Finkies sew hard dat eet hertz Plasticat’s hed* Nao wut shud Ai dew furst?……..Wup! Ai finkz Ai ment NAWT SECOND!
Oh hai, plasticat!! iz u keeping warm up dehre in deh frozidd norf??
“warm” ai beleevs depenz on ware yew arr fwom nda wut kinz ob weddur yew iz used tew. Awrownd heer teh current tempeture ob 30-40 degreeees seeemin pretty warm fur dis tiem ob year. We haznt mush snow eether, mainlee wii gets seberal inches, dat melts, den a wiel letur wii get moar, iz da circlol ob cold. Nao wut wuz Ai blabbin on about? O yea! Ai gessin yew cud say wii b warm. AI iz currentlee wurkin on gettin a kittehmas themed abatar since odders seem tew b doin teh saem. Did ai answer yewr kwestshun? ::puzzlee fayz::
*lookz bak a t plasticat like dis: x.x
,
Um…. did I ask u a kwestyun?? I did?? welll then, ya, i think u anzerd it.
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*wanderz off wif a lamp in wun hand
*adn muttering bowt an onist man.
*waevs bye tew cween nda begins tellin lief storee tew teh odder cheezpeeps hoo haz awlredee fallin asleep fwom wether storee*
Too bee joinin’ uz in teh drinkies and noms?
Anee fing dat will keep me fwom gettin shuger rushee offa skittles. teh tings arr addicting Ai swairr. Keepz inna mind Ai iz onlee furteen tho.
mmm… skittles… i lubs choklit, but i am helpless, helpless i tellz yoo, in teh fayse ob skittles.
*dips a red skittle inna dark chocolate*
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*dangles choco dipped skittle* YooHooo *swing-swing*
dis iz ah knew 1, ah cn tll…
Kitteh discovers new meth..met..way of baiting his food
Dis groomer is difrent…
Doan be jug..judg…making fun of teh different groomer!
Ai nawt sew shur…*kk4 luks in mirror, wanted posh hair, sees green mohawk*
it looks..umm.. beautimous on you. neber be afraid to try somefing new!
kk4 buys products from groomer, wonders how tu make mohawk wurk on her own, and wonders wy hur has bangs wen tells groomer nawt wants bangs.
ya could do what I do, just let it all grow, eventually the bangs disappear into the rest of it. may take 18 months or so, but it’ll happen.
I’ve ben threatenin tew shave my hed an buy wigs.
Just fink, a blonde wun day, a brunette, teh next, oh, an lets nawt foarget teh Laydee Godiva wig!
U want tu luk liek Britney Speers?!?
I dunno, mebbe.
I nawt go owt wif bald hed. If I nawt wanna ware wig, I put awn hat oar skarf an go “erro-dy-nam-ick”.
**lite bulb goes on ober hed** Hai! I cud has taht Julia Roberts hare lyk I want!
Wen ur hares hurt frum habbin a migraine, teh razor luuks moar an moar temptin.
OooooH. Mai momma got those…
Has teh cheezpeepz blankit. Go layz inna dark room. Ai bring U a warm adn a cool waddur bottlol. (soemtiems if teh warm doan work teh cool does) Adn teh rose hip tees. Was what helped my momma mostest.
Awl teh wimmin in my famlee haz dem.
I has had tew make myself frow up b4.
Migraines are teh ebil. Nawt wish ‘em awn nobodee.
i’z had thse too, teh mirgaynes wher yoo make yorself frow up just to get it over wif. funny fing iz, i’d start feelin better rite away. iz no fun. but i figyured owt my triggers (stress, dedrh – dahid – dehir – not drinkin enuff watter, an lakk ob sleep) an hardly gets tehm any more.
think of all the trouble you could fade away from with that one, just a quick alteration in clothing, change of hair, and just walk casually off inna nother direction.
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um….so I’ve heard/read/been told about. Yeah, dats it.
**iz intreeged**
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U must tayle me moar! Dis sownz berry innerestin.
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Beins dat I may go in2 full-tiem extorshunin, a chameleon luuk mite come in handee.
don’t forget to change your shoes, so many are id’ed by dere shoes.
**skribblols furiouslee**
shoes….yes….gud wun…..shoes…
Is mindreader groomer: Dey know wat you want even if you think is what you nawt want.
But, pleh i noes teh feeling! Dey neber listen to what you be wanting 
the green, that’s the posh bit.
The Audacity of Food.
Tihs bees sume pikshure…..Ai haurdlee knoews wut tuu saiy!!
Ai feal taht Ai hasta haould mai breff befoar sumeboddee maikes a moev;
Teh oanliest fing Ai kans cume up wif iys taht tehse 2 petses haz bin raized tugevver, probly frum babbeh-huud, adn mite bees BFF;
Wut an oddd-kuppel; tehre bees sume aould sayeing bowt strainje beddfellowes:
butt Ai dunot rember wut iyt iys: Ai knoews: “Burds ov a fevvur, flokk tugev….”
Noes, nawt taht wun….. ‘K; Ai goes naow:
Ai hazza ravver laurge tyred frum awl taht finking…….ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
iz safe tu intur partee nao?
Wai shur! Teh liddle ro dents ar ar frenz, so taht shud extend to teh burdies, too! An teh bugs. an teh plants (taht wuz speshul fur cweenmj!! ) *smyol*
Yay! **claps birdie wings***
Iz liddle scawry sumtimez wen pikshur showz burdie az noms! ‘Speshully wen no udder speshes — speece— nuttin but kittehs here! Shallz I surv drinkies?
Some tyme you shud chat wif GuinessPiggeh. The simpathies, he wud has them.
GuinessPiggeh haz gone to nap, aifinkso. Maybe tomorrah. Ugfi (I fink dat is spelled right) haz express–exprussed — told me she has the simpathies.
um, Upfi, de Deutsch caterpiller?
UPFI, ryte, ryte. SEW sawry, ai got tew far thru teh alpabit at teh party up dere. Hopez shez nawt off-endid. She iz my onlee frend.
Ai be Ur friend… oar iz dat fiend? clikkee mai bloo naem. ask to be friends
Fankees to yew, WestRiver rat! Will du dat!
Awww, yu gots lawts ub frenz heer!! *opens door tu van dat has magaritaville blarin frum speekers, fans smoke away*
Come in come in! *shutz door kwikly* How yew finded me? Yew wud lyke margaritaz or udder – um – libashuns?
Yu wuz eezy tu find!! Must prepare fur da magaritaz in advance, aifinkso! *sits awhile preparing* wat yu gots tu eet heer?
Apple pie
Brownies
Choklit pie
Daquerie pie
E….
Eggstra brownies
Fronsch brownies
Go to brownies
Heavenlee brownies
Inscrutable brownies
Jamanja brownies
Kooky brownies
L….
lemon bars
macadameeeeya cukkies
next generashun brownies
organic brownies
p………..
Ai’m spozed tew ‘member the alphabit?
Lazy dey make u brownies
M – well come on now.
Ninja brownies
O – this is just too weird.
Purple haze brownies
Q…
Blame it all on my roots,
I showed up in boots,
And ruined your black tie affair.
The last one to know,
The last one to show,
I was the last one you tought you’d see there…
Da frenz in low places…dey da funnest frenz ub awl!
**singz***
Day say yew are a snuff qween,
Huney Ai don’t tink dat’s true,
Why don’t we git drunk and scr…… um, neber mind.
How bout
99 bottlols ov beer on da wall… yeah, dat’s much bedder.
Aw, I lyked teh nawt-sekkund sawng!
Thot abowt playin it foar teh upstayres nayburs wunse. Tehy had teh noyse problums.
Wuz lissenin tew Jimmy 2day. Tryin nawt to fink ov teh snows owtside an taek a mentul beech vakayshun.
Yew hab snows? Lukky! We jest habs pleh raynes. Jimmy defin–defenit– shure will make yew feel bedder!!!!! O, did eberywun cee the moon and stawars, ai mean, the moon and planits?
LUKKY?!?!?!
U can has dis mess!
Unless I kin find way tew keep warm (enny volunteers?), I’m goin sumware warm foar teh Wintur.
WRr – Has u heard teh extended vershun ov Frenz in Low Playsis? Iz funnee.
I saw dat!!!…..*oilz pruning snipz*
kk4 scans ceiling fur da missletoe.
Always kin partee here in cheezland! If der a partee goin on, jes join in, if nawt a partee goin on, start one an we awl come a runnin!!
Dat wud bee why ai luvs luvs luvs cheezland! Sew frendlee!
Audacity.
Audacity and surprise.
Audacity and tenacity.
Audacity and pompasity.
O hai, Philipe d’Beaker! Ai had lotz of funz chatting wid yew at the concert! Bfore ai wuz lost in the NB habing awl the free guiness, that is.
Ohai, frenz! Can’t stay long, bowt get to get kicked off the ‘puter.
KK, I walked in the door tonight and announced, “I’m moving to San Diego”! Stoopy cold and snow.
Driving to work in teh mornin shud be fun. NAWT.
Pleh, pleh, pleh!
*hands rhsb a plane tiket* come on down!! *calls many strong YNG’s to shovel snow for rhsb*
I hope ya like blue. Wiffout SOME KINDA PROTECTION dats wat color the YNG’s gonna be.
Red Hawt Chilli Peppers Sox, mebbe?
~LOLZ~
Bloo iz my favrit colur, ackshully.
“Kentucky” Bloo, of coarse.
kin ai hab peppers wit mai soop?
Ackshully, teh YNG’s nawt hasta shubbel snow yet.
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Rite nao, I’d settle for a nek/bak rub an sumfin warm tew snorgle.
Nawt sew much awdasity az stoopidity.
Ownlii gushii an kronshii fudz shud bii iitin. Tihs iz knot aithur uv thoaz.
dis makes me fink ob wen my parents gotted tehr burdee, tehr kitteh came in froo teh kitteh dore wif a burd it cawtted an dropped it on teh flor by teh burd cayje. wuz it a gift or a thret? we’ll nebber know.
Last act of defiance
Omg, really?? Are we 12??
youre forcing even me to lolspeak.
Foolish parrot…..thot he won.