u shure do coms up wit weird wayz
u shure do coms up wit weird wayz to show dat u lazy
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: SandieK
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Iffn u fing Ai aer goin in dat…
conga rats annipuss, u has pownced awn teh top spot yet again!
No, I had someone esle come up wif that. I was too lazys.
Haz u got minyunz 2 fink fur u naow?
Um… lemme get teh minyuns to come up wif a answer for u. Hold on.
r’minds me ob g-dub
U TAKE THAT BACK!!!
LCH, ai will takeit bak………. jus finkin ob yer miniuns……. :sigh: jus cuz ai duzznt has wun
hmmmmmm mebbe ai duzznt need wun
need tew fink ob mai carbon pawprint after awl
dat wuz LCB rilly troooleee itwas
two more munffs!
himz lukz lyke is already ready to leave
Let’s hold teh dore open 4 him, shall we?
Hey Jorg, don’t let teh door hit u in teh a** on teh way owt!
is skeery how much damij he can still do in dat tyme!!
Rememba, he’s had praktis.
I’z bee berry happeetayl 2 kerry teh sootcases adn provied a litlol assistans wif mai feets.
G dubs face, flush wif embarisment….
who g-dub?
ai no wach televisn, is dat y i no kno?
Aka just “dubya”.
*googles dubya*
OH i gets it nao!! nd ai is offem… offens… ai no like taht his werds r compared to teh lolspeek.
srsly, mebbe PK is a btr spot fer tihs thred?
Waz nawt lolspeek being compared tu him, it waz teh ideea uv LCB being dependent awn minyuns tu gib her ansurs as tu wevver her minyuns fink fur her. Usooally, polly ticks iz awnlee hit glansinglee, nawt becoming major topic, an will fade owt awn its own kwik enuff.
oh, okai. i’z releeved nao.
oooh gud anser PK!!!
Yesh, pk, SS, iz nawt reely gud plase fur dat kinna fing…bedder it fades owt.
why iz offensive?
We can has freedom ov speech
we discuss whatever tickles our fancy
we can discuss
Anthropology
Biology
Cheezburgers
D..
dolly pardon
everyone else! HA
factory orders
h………
goggies (ya, ryte!)
haunted hauses
inbisibul fings
j…
Jes bout annyfing but dat
Kangaroos
Lemmings in lemon sauce
Mugwumps
N….
noodle heads
onions
pearls
q………..
Queschuns authoritee
Rabid weezilz
Sandy claws(bud ownlee aftur fangs gibbon)
T…
qwail eggs, pickled or unpikled
rastafarians
sunshine awn our shoulders
tapshoes or ballet slippers
U…
Qwocodiles
Rubber baby buggy bumperz
Silky satin-y soiree attire
Turquoise tortoises
Underwares
V…
Unibers, meening uv (awlso lyf an ebreefing)
Veterinaree medsin
Where teh bukkit reely be
Xtensiv reesurch intu kitteh snorgulling
YNGs
Zen buddhism
Umbrellas
Venus or Mars
Wind in hair, yay!
Xray goggles
Yellow submarines
Zonkers, screemin yellow ones
**clappy clappy** Dis bery thurough listee, aifinks so!
Egg salad list! I vollunteers tu dew reesurch into YNGs adn brings bak mai resultz. Mebbee I maykes a speshul studdy ub teh fyremans! Yesh, ai will dew dew mai PhD in YNGs wu R fyremens. Ai will defence mai dessertation in teh Nawty Barn.
eggselent idear!
Is LCB Ur thesis advisor?
Yes. I hadda hav teh BESTEST adn MOST EXPEERIYUNCED.
Ai gotta appoyntmynt…bai ebbrybuddy. Fangs fur teh fun. Hav a happytayl afturnoon!
Zen Buddhism kan be diskussed adn nawt diskussed at teh saym thyme.
Ohai, JD, ai borrowdededed yur troll checklist fur teh Troll Feeld Guide, ai hoping is otay. Since WP seem tu be eeting linkees an fings, yu can find bai clicking awn mai name an luking fur “Troll Guide”.
Yu’re moar dan welkum tu reuze teh cheklist, adn I suggested on teh comments for it dat it be added tu to cober moar ob teh troll speeshees dat yu hab identifieded.
deff nd destructions
europe
fires around globe
goofy hats
house prices
i…
Intertubes
jumpin beens
kids who don’t stay QWIET
life
many fings
noms
oprah
politiks
q…
ai kno not muchs. wat is dat ting in da pichr? it luks lik a awuttymatic kitteh scoopy, but it in onlee one spot.
Nawt luks bery effishent, kitteh finkin same fing.
Sumub dem fling deh doodoo awl ober deh playce! An dey skares kitteh!
Kitteh sez: u think i’ma drink outta THAT? U is teh crazy.
Ohai LCB, I tawt it was teh goggies who did dat?
Kittehs has been knoed to try it also. We keeps teh lid down in our house to safeguard against that eventuality.
Atticus, mah senior kitteh, will twy to walks around teh seat just as sumwun twies to sits down on itz!
mai mamakitty likes to drink out of terlit………… but not gettin around so gud laytely an ai haz a feered that her mite fawl in!!!
mai muder has a kitteh that plays in hers, so she gotta hav lid doune, oar her get wet butt
*snicker*
Ai can has noat awn mai gest terlit tu pls cloze lid so da Kinsey nawt be fawling in. so den she wuz in uvvur bafrume nd ai hurd “schlup, schlup”
Nawt laffin, nawt laffin…
BWAAAAHAAAHAAAHAHAAAA!!!!elebenty!
my kitteh shiro only drinks owt ob teh toylit, an teh swimmy pool, an teh brid baf. bowl ob watter, pleh, do not want.
U kan’t unerdesteemate teh kittehs. Dey’s smarteh dan da hoomins finks!
dew NAWT WANT!!
Conga rats shoelaces, annipuss adn LCB! Wut dew yu wants fur yer silllybrashunz?
I leaves it up to annipuss. I is working onna song for teh big bennyfit concert for teh rodents, coming up on, whut, Wednesday?
An ai haz 2 go an nom teh curree Ai haz spendid moast uv teh affernoon bildin!
Bai fur naow!
Njoy, annipuss! Bai!
Enjoy teh curree! Ai will delibber sum hawl chokklit adn a playt ub lublee litlol kookies layter — awn teh Minton china wif Irish linnin napkinz, ub coarse. Fur yew, lcb — sum choklit martooniez wud halp yew wif yore inspearation? Ai wudz put a mary– mara– a berry suite cherree dat’s brite red in teh bootum ub teh glass.
ohai LCB, cannawt waitz 2 heer it? gimme hint plz?
U can rites me at my name at gmail dot com and I can tells u. I has a eager to hear ur song, 2!
LCB, hao did yew get 2 commintz at teh saym tiem? Dew yew haz minynunz on udder compooterz? Uh-mayz-ing.
I is not at liberty to say.
ohai LCB we can haz cheezmeet soon
I beez leafing Dee Cee arear in 2 weekz
Yikes! I is mostly teh available. I will be in town over Kthxgiving. I works on teh Friday but will be around otherwise. U 2 can rite me at my name at gmail dot com to work something out.
Haow iz teh pakking adn awl? Iz teh kitteh feelin less nerviss?
Himz has gone from being the big boss kitteh
to sweet lap kitten
whenever I sit down
himz comes and jumps on my lap
goes purr purr
pooh fing
I iz takin a brake frum pakking
an it is going well
fanks fur aksing
Iz nies to be habbing a sweet lap kitten…but mine duz mayke it hard to uze laptop. Her droolz awon teh keyboard.
Tabbehkitteh, hur wants tu typee tu! Hur mus hab lawts tu say, wen yu scampers tu find sumfin tu wipe way da drools, hur typs furiously.
Ohhhh….
*looks at kitteh suspiciously*
Wut messijs yew be sending teh whirled, kittehgurl?
*kittehgurl remaynz silent, in sphinx pose*
Her is nawt tawkin’ nao…but fanks, kk4, ai mus help her espresso hersef!
Hur kitteh, hur nawt tell yu ub hur adbentures in innerwebs…watch yur mail fur packages ub catnips, gooshy fuds, and udder sundry an assorted items. Hur may race yu tu mailbox, dis can be a cloo….
{{two-kittehs}} Wen ai haz tu move, mai grandma tells me once tu fry an onion in da new hous, so it smells libbed in, an tu put a litlol bit ub butter on kittehs paws, dey busy nommin da butter off, den nawt so freaked out.
awwwwwwww dats a grate idea!!!
fries teh chikkun libber for teh kitteh. haws smells libbed in and has gud noms 2!! kitteh has the happy.
WRr, gud idea, dat way, nawt butter awl obber da plase! Annyfing fried, ummm, smells like home!
mai brayne smells like home???
~snerk~ mine tu…smells like bacon greese an tu much fun way bak wen, an still, but ai aint tellin!!
fried, ai can hazzit!!!
{{jkitty}} Fried, ai iz it!!
Jkitty, ai lef mssg fur da lurker las nite on da kitteh in da box, aifink…did yu see dat?
noes ai willz go luk
fur sumwun hooo ax soooo stoopi n pertenz himz in skoool, himz shur pikked up on dat riteawai!!!
Dats wut ai fot tu…ai gabe maiself a snicker doh…
Koffs up hairball in dat direkshun, waits fur email tu discuss…
pleh!!!
emeow enroute
OMG, ai feels sik…emeow tu follow…
U is nawt at liberty? Did dey finally catch up wiv u an frow u in teh jail?
and threw the key awai
Um, aifinks dat key mysteriously disapeers, LCB scampers away, ebbryone puzzled as tu how dey losted hur.
Compooterz has parallel processeng now.
Wow, u has noo toy? Iz bery nice. Wut’s it do? O BTW, ai pooped in that basket fingy.
eet take teh stuffs an KITTEHPULT it sumweres.
uhoh 8|
eh, hows yoo do dat smily ting? teh wun wif teh beeg eyes.
@@@@@!
Iz teh auto magic littur baux. I sawed wun @ teh pet store when I wuz gedding noms fur mai goggies. Id washees teh littuh and flushes adn haz teh lemming sense freshairer. It hook into the hoomin poddy.
WRr, duz dat wurk fur yu? Sins ai hab 4 kittehs in haus, ai buys big storage tubs frum Walmart, we haz two ub dem, uses clumpee litter, and cleens dem out 2-3 times a day sew nawt hab haus dat has lidderbox smells. Iz lawt ub kittehs, an nawt lets kittehs go outside ebber, is too busy streets ware ai lib, plus 3 ub dem iz blak kittehs, peeps kin be meen to da BC’s..I’d radder cleen da boxes den let dem go outsides.
Ai nawt haz kittehs. So no personal eggsperience. teh clerk @ teh store sez she haz 6 kittehs and they luvs it. She putted it in adn lefted teh old litteubaux just in case teh kittehs nawt liek it. teh kittehs nawt use teh old baux since the new wun iz in.
**sigh** problee nawt gud, mai teeny tiny bafroom, nawt nuff room tu cuss da cats wifout fur in mouf…**no angry letturs, jes sumfin mai granma always sed**
I disapprove of the silly contraption
is beneath my dignity to use it.
Ai choozes yur shoozes insted.
hee hee! gud wun!
That silly keeteh. My kittehs luvz da auto litter comber/thingy I buyz em at the Wal Mart
Dey can wate to uze it after it comz da litterz
Catapult do NAWT wants
Kitteh would much raver use traditionul lidder bawk liek
Ani shoes lyin arawnd
Back of teh wardrobe
Clothes freshly washed
Downstairs
E…
Ennyware yu gonna step in wif bare feets
Floofy bafroom rug
Goggie fud bowl
Hats
J….
Just-cleened clozit
Kitchin
Laundree pyle
Most ennywhere, reelee
N…
Nawt in teh reel litterbox
On yer importent papers
P…
Plastic grocery bags
Qween clothes nawt put away
Rugs, enny rugs
Sock drawer
T…
Top uv fings
Unner fings
Very inconbenient spots
Washing masheen, behynd it
X…
Xspensive sweaters
YNG’s T-shirts on da floor
Zany places wif happy faces
I hab a kitteh that pees on laundree. Her butt permanentlee owtsyde nao cuz I cant afford to keep bying nu close for da childrins. U nebber git dat smell out! I haet dat! She still gets luv, just owtsyde luv.
Wash ‘em in vinegar. And mebbe get her checked fur urinary trakt infekshun, an if okay, talk tu vet about behavyur stuffs. Kitteh lyf eggspektancy if owtdoors awla tiem, bout haf as high as uvverwise.
I know it’s behavior stuff. She doesn’t like the other cat and the dog. They were here first. Even if she’s outside, she’s a lot better off than she was to start with. When we found her she was just a baby and almost starved to death. We took her in, but from day one she peed on things. She has been checked for UTI and all that. She’s been spayed, she’s up on her shots, but she’s not a nice cat overall, even besides the peeing. Other than being outside, she’s well taken care of, even if she is a ball of evil wrapped in fur. I can’t do more for her really.
‘Polojize fur teh tone ai tooked, Connie… ai kind uv awn edje when ai replied, ai just losted teh feral kitteh ai tooked ober caring fur a yeer an a haf ago. Sometimes, iz nuffing yu can du.
.
But, um, srsly, ennything peed awn bai kittehs, wash twice, wunce wif vinegar insted uv sopes, an wunce wif sopes tu get rid uv teh vinegar. It makes teh smell go away.
Ok, if it happins again I’ll try it. FANKS
Sorry about ur kitteh, I can unnerstand why you would respond dat way den. Dose aminals shure hab a way of gettin to us, huh?
Wayt, where I go?
Ai dunno, ware aer u naow?
*giglol* *poynts up* We misst teh letter I.
Ai added it heer, but WP eeted it, ai guess.
Hao waz yur curree?
Berry nommabul, thx!
ends of teh beds
f…
Ebbrywhare
Front ub yore feets (woch yer step)
Gud playces ware yew cants find it
H
HAALLOO CHEEZLAND!!! For some reason, Guinness Piggeh can’t be here today… he muttered something about “stoopy fyrefoks” and “uff, ai has an inbisibul!!!” and “NOOO! Mick, plz tu nawt lokk me inna cubberd agen!”
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Honestly, you’d think lolcatburglar would keep him on a shorter leash… Anyhoo, he gave me this note to read out to you all:
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* weeeeeeeeeeeek weeeek weeeek *
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Ohai Cheezfrends adn a berry happee Caturdai tu yu awl! Ai can has yur tenshuns, plzthx?
.
Is yu small?
Is yu furreh?
Does yu has a tayl?
Does yu liek tu scamperarowndveryfast?
Does yu has an apeetyte mush beeger dan yu shud has?
Is yu a Phlonquais?
Does yu * tremble tremble * ?
Does yu lib in feer ob bean nommed by teh bigger furrehs?
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Iffn yu has sed “Oh yesh yesh yesh!” tu anee ob dese adn otter kweshuns, yu is prolly a Rodint oar sum otter smawl, cyoot, furreh creeture.
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Dun worree, mai itteh bitteh furreh trembleh committeh; yu is nawt alowne! Guinness Piggeh, lolpigburglar, skwirrlgrrl, West River Rat, Maus (adn his Ebil twin) adn manee otters arr standy as tall as wii can and saying “No, ai arr NAWT nootrishus OAR deelishus! Plz tu NAWT be nomming meh!”
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Wii can has “Plz tu NAWT be nomming teh Rodints” Beneefit Consert tu raze awarenuss? Oh yesh yesh yesh… eet be onna Merican Fangs Gibbon Ebe, teh 26nd Nomvember:
6 am Cheez Thyme
12 pm EST
11 am Centrul
10 am Mowntin
9 am Westy Cowst
5 PM TTI
.
“but but but, GP ai lieks tu chase chase chase teh littlol furrehs adn sumthymes dey liek tu jump in mai mouf…” Yesh, ai nose yu kittehs canut halp but but but chayse us so ai has orgaminsed a Rabid Weesul Rayce so yu can has awl teh chaysing adn pownsing yu wants!
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“GP! wib awl teh Rondints in won playce adn hongry kittehs arownd eet wheel be liek a buffay!” Dun worree, mai Frend Din Fleetpaw adn his Wolfee Frends (wib ’speshul’ collolars be teh sekuritee so dey be keepy anee hongry kittehs in czech.
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“oh oh oh, wheel dere be sillyebritees?” Oh, ob corse! Mick “teh lips” Jaggeh wheel be hedlyne akt wib berry speshul berzhun ob “ai canut get no… sateesfakshun” – eet wheel be teh ossim, aifinkso.
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Otay, plz tu direkt anee moar stoopy kweshuns tu Mick, fankies.
*studees Mick wif binoclars frum a blynd where nawt interfeering wif corse uf nachur*
*mutturs tu self* Mayks annownsmint, nawt invaolved in communittee.. iz a troll uv a nu speeshees? Oar sum uvver straynj lyf form? *jots daon notes tu self*
* strut pout strut pout strut pout POSE *
*mutter tu self* Nawt troll, definitlee straynj lyf form.
Hay, Mick. I volunteers to be teh musiclol directifier for teh consert. I can keep a list of teh songs peeps has rited and u can add to ur nouncements that they can check wif me at lolcatburglar at gmail dot com if they want to rite one so I can add them to teh list and tells them if someone else has alreddy didz one that is teh same.
Great Idea, LCB… Huh? What? How did YOU get out? No, GP… let’s be serious… put that down! NOOO!
I haz teh gud news, I haz pict up mai book yesserdai, i haz mai lol kitteh book naow! Iz gud book, i iz teh laff awl teh dai.
I mus awso tell u, i did most awfullest ting tu day. I bot kissy mus pwesent bee for teh kissy mus, but was fur grand dotter, ony ting i pwomised tu buy, be frayd not dere afer tanks given, so gotted it tudai. I bee bery shamed, but need maek shur i gotted it. No moer kissy mus pwesents bee fur tanks given, i pwomis!
oh, u iz gud (gran)mama cat!
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iz OK 2 buy stuffs b4hand, aifinkso — iz just nawt OK 2 sing teh songs and haz teh dekkorayshuns!!
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mai dad usta sing (to teh tune uv Deck teh Hallz)
“spenz ur munnies, spenz ur munnies, fa la la la la, la la la la!”
I went tu teh wall mart an in bery lowd vose says, “How teh can haev teh kissy mus deck ray shuns up for tanks gibing?” many many peeps agwee wif me, but do nawt tink teh wall mart du any ting bowt it. is mai wai ob tellen em off,
itinkso!
Mama Cat!!! **clapee clapee floofy paws, spin dans dans spin** Ai alreddy tired ub chrismis…ebbry yeer, it gits fwon in ar faces, sooner nd sooner…nuff alreddy!!!
Kris muss, ai nawt lyks it… nawt lyk ennyfing spost tu be a sillybrayshun when it krammed daon froat reepeetedlee. Ai tyred uv it alreddy, tu. Whyle stores waz taking daon teh Howloleen stuff, tehm waz putting up teh Kris muss stuffs… pleh. Ai skips it, aifinkso. No Kriss muss myoosiks, no Kriss muss dekrayshuns. PBBBHHHHTTTT tu Kriss muss.
Ai gots tu go getting a few groseries so we can haz suppers. Ai be back layter!
{{tessm}} Soun liek mai dad, we wuld turn off lites at halloween, put sign awn door dat says, sorree, owt ub candee, den we wuld watch scaree moovies, an eets awl da candees!!
Ohai, Mick. GP for some reason objected to teh harness I gived him.
Tessm and I is working on some songs for teh concert and we has many celebrity rodents lined up. U can rite me at my name at teh gmail dot com if’n u wants to know which songs so there is no duplicats.
gud ideea! ai tol GP & sqwirrelg ai wuz ritin song, but ai donut think ai sed whut song! :blush:
Someone should keep a list so peeps wanting to rite a song can check to make shure no one else is doin teh same one, but teh titles shold be kept seekrit so that it is a sprize to everybuddy who comes to teh concert.
ok, u iz teh woman! SUMbuddee hasta keep it all organizified.
Hey, scooping poop is a labor of love!
test
test
B-
Oh Guinness Piggeh – tehre yu ! Ai thort Mick had eeted yu or sumfink! Ai cud see yu awn “Hoo be tokin” but wen QAi clikkd yur naem, Ai didunt fynd yu! Ai had a wurrid!
Naow need to get awl testee, Guinness Piggeh.
We seaz yoo, jes not write awai. De WP is berry, berry busii todai and iz juggling deh comints to deh udder commints wroglee.
I wuz tryin to puts deh books up for gibbing awai on Bookmooch, and mai interwebs traffiking iz too manee packets wif not enuff sckets, Ai finkso.
Comcast az ISP, Ai hatez dem forebber.
Ai seeing yu, GP! WP gibing ebrywun hedakes, du nawt despairing! {{{GP}}}
WeirdPretzel haz a borked, aifinkso *sighs*
Okay, ai spoze iz just berry kwiet… aftur awl, iz Caturday nite, an sum peeps duz having a fing ai herd uv cawled a “lief”.
If ennywun iz abul tu see this, an iz habing trubble posting, an iz wanting sumwun tu talk tu… come find me. Ai haz flash-based chatroom awn mai website, an frenz welcome to join me there. Go heer: http://www.prysmatic.com/chat/help.html
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Cheez an Tofu, plz tu nawt fink ai trying tu take peeps frum heer (ya, lyk that gunna happin?!?!), iz just zasperating when cannawt talk. Kthxbai.
.
Ai hoping this nawt coming thru repeetedlee… *cross fingurs*
Hm, lettuce trai this way, since WP seems tu haz appetite fur links…
Okay, ai spoze iz just berry kwiet… aftur awl, iz Caturday nite, an sum peeps duz having a fing ai herd uv cawled a “lief”.
If ennywun iz abul tu see this, an iz habing trubble posting, an iz wanting sumwun tu talk tu… come find me. Ai haz flash-based chatroom awn mai website, an frenz welcome to join me there. Go heer (plz tu copy an paste): prysmatic.com/chat/help.html
.
Cheez an Tofu, plz tu nawt fink ai trying tu take peeps frum heer (ya, lyk that gunna happin?!?!), iz just zasperating when cannawt talk. Kthxbai.
.
Ai hoping this nawt coming thru repeetedlee… *cross fingurs*
Sumeboddee wentid thru awl teh trubbel ov iynstallyng tihs iynnovatib kitteh potteh, oanley tuu hav teh resydent kitteh ov teh mannor gibb iyt teh fishee-eiyse;
Kitteh’s demeenor kleerleey iyndikates taht her iys nawt goeiyng iyntuu teh neu kontrapshun, nebber-ebber: oaver her ded boddee;
Her awlsoe haz awlsoe sed taht tehy mite az wel plannt pehtoonias innit, az faur az her iys konsurned; yesssir-tehy shud geyt sume kynde ov uuse aowt ovvit, adn at leest geyt tehir munnees wurf………
In all seriousness, does anybody know what kind of catbox that is?
I just googled “self-cleaning litter box” and found a picture that matches. Looks like it’s called “Cat Genie”
I can’t put a link without disappearing, so go to catgenie dot com and u’ll see it.
Laziibutt hooman! If yu canut moov yur lazii butt tu kliin mai boks, ai wil shoyu teh pointii indz!
its not a matter of being lazy .. its actually a matter of cost efficiency… and actually the catgenie is awesome!… and actually a lot more cost efficient.. i live in a fairly small apartment with two previously wild kittens who don’t smell so good .. even after being dewormed and everything.. their intestinal tract is just messed up from all the inbreeding.. and i found that having to buy cat litter, the powders to keep them smelling decent, the room sprays to take the smell from decent to livable and the cleaning products.. who actually run me up about $185 a month where the catgenie actually only will cost me approx $25 a month.. the first 5 months its approx $85 but after that the maintenance is the $25… so i highly recommend it.. the other stupid store ones are crap.. but this one is pretty awesome!
I have a particularly retarded cat who’s a constant litter box misser. Do you think I’ll have trouble getting him to adapt to the Catgenie? I reeeeally want one but I’m scared my cats won’t accept it.
+1 for the Cat Genie
I have two kitties and don’t have to do any cat box work. And it’s awesome for going on vacation and having non-cat people watch your house. “Just feed them, the cat box cleans itself.”
Cat Genie is teh fail.
I sent mine back after it broke for the third time during the trial period.
itz teh Cat Genie!
* inbisibul test *