Lost at sea as a kitten
Lost at sea as a kitten and raised by wild seals, Leo never quite got the hang of walking like a real cat.
dis kitteh walkz liek an egypshun.
picture: b. lol caption: Thogar
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and stretch….
and stretch….
Looooooooooooooooong cat’s cuzzin ayms tu ebentually beet rekkord.
Bend… and snap!
jus doan bork da usp guyzes noes
feel teh burn
Oh noes! They has mai bukkit!
Maus, u noes they duzznt.
U just took it owtside to play, and losted it again.
Did u look in teh yard?
Um… no ma’am. I goes an looks…
Mai bukkit isnt tehre! I sawr a white kitteh wif a bukkit taht looked like mine. She wuz holding it up to teh light. Why she do taht?
*runs to luk owt window*
HOO is that wif ur bukkit??
Could it be…
Alfred E. Neuman
Boris Badinov
Cleverly-disguised lolcatburglar
Disguised-but-not-so-cleverly phlonquais
E…
Ebil Maus (nah… I wouldn’t take my brother’s bukkit)
Faux Fronsch Dude
Guiness Piggeh
H…
hugh g manateez
Industrial sized g manateez
Jinormous g manateez
K….
King Kong
Llamas, herd ub
Munchkinz
N…
Nomadic Nordic Nerds
Operahaters, the
Pannicked Pandaz
Quiet Quakers
Royal Retchers (Requiring itfer rhorrible Reasons)
S…
snoozy soozie (taekn naps inna da bukkit)
terribel tribbles (dats da trubble wit tribbles)
uniformd ossifers
v…
Vile villians
Wily wolverines
Xentric Xanadu-residents
Zen Zebras
Nao I noes mai ABD’s kan I taik a nap nao plz?
Nawt eezee awn land
Duzzy bark or duzzy meow?
Butt ai liekz 2 swim
ohai Karen, iz it okays if I skweez in here?
*gives Karen chokklit for hur trubble*
Ohai!! I has a NOWSEMINT!
* Micrololphone Fudback *
.
AHEM, ai can has yur Tenshuns plzthx?
.
Arr yu small?
Arr yu furreh?
Does yu has a tayl?
Is yu awlways been maed tu feel insig… enseeg… nawt portant by bigger furrehs?
Do u have a constant fear of being eeted??
.
Yu arr nawt alowne! Wii Rodints adn otter smaller critters has had enuff ob been nommed, hedbatted, debreefed adn generully maed tu dans dans dans fur oar gushifuds!
.
Wii Can Has “Plz tu NAWT be nomming teh Rodints” Beneefit Consert? Oh, yesh yesh yesh!
.
The offishul date and time: It will be Fangs Givving Eve, dat’s Nomvember the 26th, at 6 am cheeztime!
That wud be
12 pm EST
11 am Central
10 am Mowntain
9 am Westy coast
5 PM TTI time
THAT’S ONE WEEK FROM TODAY, THIS TIME LOL, PERZACLTEE.
We is inviting the hole whirled! As long as they is owr frendz, and promises no nomming of the rodints.
Pleez note u may be rekwired to wear a protecktive devise if we sees u drooling or enny likkin uv ur chops at the gate.
Securitee will be on hands to enforse the non-nomming polisees. (We has a big woofey contracted)
We will has musick, and fuds, and fun!
And if u has any musickal or poetic or otterwise creative contribushuns u wud like to make, bring em on!
Be there or be skware!
.
GP u has anyfing to add??
oh yesh, yesh, yesh – ai has lyned up sum berry speshul ennertaynmint fur teh Kittehs!
.
Ai nose hao yu liek tu chase chase chase teh littlol furrehs so ai has orgamanised a Weesul rayce! Dey wheel awl be reeleesed inna diffrunt direkshuns so dere be plentee ob chasing ackshun fur ebberywon!
Plz to make sure u brings ur paperz if u wants to do teh weezil chasin.
U has to have ur shots before particimapatin in this event.
I’ll has a shot of tekwilla, plz! kthxhic
*Snerk*
oh, and we needs to know hoo’s bringing teh turkee!
we wuz gonna do an air drop, but research into that showd it cud be danjeruss….
We already have YOU…
Maus! GP is possessed by Mick! Can u go get teh double-wide exorcism cart, plz?
Is this wot u meant by,
“Disguised-but-not-so-cleverly phlonquais”, LCB?
* hangs hed * eet wuss awl gowing so well… * sigh *
.
see whut happens wen ai sees a pritty grrl!
*sniff*
Ur not even going to be heer Maus*
And I will fank u to keep ur paws off my drumstik.
And stop groping her giblets!
Can I taste her stuffing?
*luks stern, poynts way to NB*
To te Nawtee Barn wit teh hole lot uv ye!
wot did I do??
*hedbats maus*
Hey! I wuz just teasin!
*Gets out seltzer bottle*
*SpraySpraySpraySpraySpraySpraySpray*
And a pie for good measure!
*Fling… SPLAT!*
Y r u throwin a pi at gremlin??
Go down-thread a little!
Air drop teh turkeys, Leeza? WKRP in Cincinnati ref FTW!
Hey what?!?!
We did nawt agreeing tu enny such fing! Teh Weesul Yoonyon duz nawt aproov tihs idea, nope, nuh-uh, no way, nawt a chanse!
* stops pouting for a moment *
* adjusts leather trousers *
* clears throat *
* checks Cockney accent *
* grabs Micrololphone *
.
HALLLLO CHEEZLAND! Is everyone having a GOOD TIME??? Hey! skwirrlgrrl! Maybe I can present this thing? I do loads of charity events, it all counts towards my community service, you know!
*WONNNK! WONNNK! WONNNK! WONNNK! *
*Maus rides up in the Double-Wide Exorcism Cart and BBQ Wagon*
Don’t worry GP! We’ll fix you right up!
*RummageRummageRummage*
Lesse… Ducky Tape and Chicken Feathers…
*RummageRummageRummage*
Vaseline… Coffee Grounds…
And… Maus’ Special Exorcism Fluid and BBQ Sauce!
*Opens the
Iron MaidenExorcism Chamber*In you go, “Mick”
*Closes the door*
Lights the
BBQ GrillExorcism Candle*Hey! CreeeeeeakRumbleFwoomph! Ow! CrackleCrackleCrackle*
Well, that should do it!
HEY! What’s going on? Why is Guinness Piggeh covered in Duct Tape & Feathers and why is he on fire???
Oh, BBQ Sauce… mmm
O teh Hyooge Manitee!
Kooked rodint wif BBQ Sauce? *luks intrestid*
Oh GP, in trouble again??!!
*uses flipper to splash water over GP to put out fire*
Is that barbeque sauce? I love bar…..no! must resist!
Quick, get on my back & we’ll make our escape!
Nooooooooo! BBQ rodint! Nawt eskape!!!!!
You know that Cuy is a delicacy in Peru…
(attempting to thwart WP in itz attempt to thwart ME)
EM!!
Even if u IS ebil, u is still a rodint!
So u mite want to considur where ur loyaltees r.
*raised eyebrow*
HA!
Take taht, WP!!
*pppppbttthhhhtt*
Ohai! Wat be gewin awn heers? *Trottity-trot-trot-trot* Oooo! A barbehcue! Does we hab da vegg-you’re-a-bulls? *Brings da basket ob vegg-you’re-a-bulls tew da Iron Mai… er… BBQ, an opens eet up.
.
Oh Mai Ceeling Cat! …Guinnes Piggeh! …yew be a gewd chef! Heer, can yew trow dese awn an… wayte… is dat BBQ source? …GP nevar yewses BBQ source! …Wat hab yew awl dun?! O_o;
Blahsfameeee!!!!
That’s gotta hurt.
rugburn/roadrash onna belleh
it duz. plz not to be tryin dis at home. ouch.
(did a stretch liek dis teh ovver day after my
torchure seshunwurkowt, felted liek fierkrakekrs wented off in my nek an sholder. taht nebber happnd before, mus be gettin old. relaksin, i wuz doin it rong.)breethe innn… adn owt.
dat be yoga btw
downward kitteh – we duz it!
Mah Cobra Pose: let me show you it.
Nao drawp adn gib me elebenty!
*ahem*
*Taps GP on sholder*
Why don’t u show teh kitteh how itz done?
Ohai, lcb… yesh ai gets rite awn dat…
.
inna mean thyme, dere issa meesteereeus straynjur onna last pic… hii lieks tu pout adn is nawt tawking… weerd…
Someone is not talking weerd? They is in teh rong place for shure, then.
.
aneewon yu nose?
Um… GP? Your DID is showing. Take it from someone who knows…
ai finkso misteryous strajer is a mime-kitteh. Taht splains eberything, inclooding hims beret, stripey (horzz … hozir … sideways) shirt, and teh nawt-talking. Yep.
Does he at least mime in English? I hate it when teh mimes doesn’t has subtitles.
Prakticin Yoga … Ohmmmm
kitteh is just doing cobra poze.
oar the up dog poze? toez curdled unda
ur rite!
*makes note to go to yoga more offen*
curdled toez??? duz dey smelling funkee??
Cween- did ur phlonquais ebber find u a pretty lilac dress? If not, ai found wun fur u to try. Ai will try to make a link: (mai nawt sekund time making linkie) http://www.casuallivingusa.com/default.aspx?uid=711511S&CategoryID=&page=product&cm_mmc=PaidSearch-_-N%2fA-_-N%2fA-_-17490&tlcode=17490&sender=external
Oh yes, dat b verry pritty…but i iz afrayd dat wif awl deh rinklee-crinkleez dat peepz mit fink it wuz just deh burplol spray paint on mai old hide.
No Wun wud disrespekt owr cween dat way!!
Sept mai huzbin. i telling u liddlol storee.
.
Wunst i botted a pair uv nise silkee pantz wif deh lubblee floarz printinged on dem. Dey lukkinged sew prittee wen I tryinged dem on in deh stor. But wen I gotted dem home, and putted dem on tu goez tu werk, I lukkinged a msef in deh meer roar. I kawlz huzbin in adn askinged, ‘ Duz deze lukking like pajamama pantz tu u?’
Him sed, awl seriuzlee, ‘No. Dey luk moar like klown pantz tu mii.’
We nom him! Him haz teh gud tayste tu haz teh cween, but teh nawt taste in clothes an teh nawt tact! We nom him fur yu! Ai send speshul skwad!
Oh, cween! Hao funneh!
Enny tyme I wayrs pants with printed patterns (lyke flowrs, fur eggsample), mah huzzbind tells me they luks lyke a table kloth!
I haz sum flowr pattern pantz I luvs. I wayrs them to wurks when he’z nawt lukkin.
Mah grammy luvved teh floral patterns. I still members her wayrin fancee patterned dresses an skirts, and open toe shooz. Luvz me those old-fashioned open toe shooz!
Pants wid patturns can look lyke jammies
Ur husbandz has gud fashion sense I fink
gremlin an cween
:runs awai an ducks fur cuver
Kitteh is doing deh sun salutation!
Ai fink its a merkitteh
iffen dis isza merkitteh then wattda’eck iz this?
http://www.coolbubble.com/pics/seacat.jpg
Ai dunno, but it iz habbin a wale uv a tiem
Meerkats go verticlol, merkittehs go horizontlol?
Eivver way, nawt much gud fur hunting n eeting… er, eggsept that we eets a striktlee vegematarian diet, we duz, so uv corse furree fings be no gud fur eeting. Eggsept peeches an fings. :halo:
I haz’d a feeling dat dis wun wud make it 2 da frunt page. Gud jorb!
Kitteh looks prowd tu be a seeeeeeel…
navy seal?
Seel kitteh gibs seel ov appr… apruv… okayness.
Ther exists a speshul force between a kitteh’s belleh and teh flor. The mollykyools haz a gloo, Ifinkso.
Try to pik up a flat kat! An yool see whut I meenz.
u meen teh ‘ded wate kitteh’ phenominom?
Yep. *nods* When teh kitteh’s bodeh tayks on additional mass and awl uv grabbity teh in teh universe is aktivayted. Izza scientifikkal phenomenomnomnomenon.
Stranj attractors: kitteh fuzz and flor lolecules.
Oh, crap. It’s getting worse.
A co-worker jes turnded awn the Krissmiss Muzik!
**puts awn hedfones an luuks frew teh cds hur browt 2 werk**
Must find….sumfin……that……nawt maek mi….wanna go…onna….killin spree.
*handz rhsb a chokklit martoonee*
Dun wurry, deh ICHC chokklit martooneez b ok tu sipping at werk. Ok, make dat chugging at werk.
*leeves a pitcher full*
No… go ahead. Christmas music before Thanksgiving is grounds for homicide…
Gotta side with you on that one.
I’m waiting for the day I hear “Frosty the Snowman” in August.
{{{rhsb}}} oh, yu has mai simpafees… mai stoopy cowerkers awlways plays teh stoopy crissmuss musik tu! but but but nawt dis eerlee! aifinkso ai wud turn eet awf, yesh!
Doesn’t u work in some kine of gummint office? U shouldn’t has to put up wif that sort of thing. They should be playing all Sousa marches, allda time!
Wish mai brass band wud be playin Souza dis eebenin at practis! Will jess be crissmuss musik as hab nawt-sekkund crissmuss consert on Tuedai! Den is nuffink but carols, carols and maw carols till next year!
noooooooooooooze!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!!!elebenty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
luvs teh crismas moozik, but NAWTBEFOREKTHXGIVING!!!!!!!!!
(my boi wuld rekommend Dir En Grey, japaneez deth-goth-metal. mebbee that will do teh trik.) (nebber lissened to it meself, but imajine it wuld be purty effektib at chaysin away teh too-urly jingle bells an winter wunnerland.)
ooo pooor rhsb — heres sum ammo — counter wiff these
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qyy-_6Wk4DY
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChiS2GKl37U&feature
We can come nom yur cowurkers, fur kreeating teh hostyl an unfrenlee wurk enbironmint? Can we, huh huh? Will be no ebidense, we promising!
Haz at it, but if I iz axked, I knew nuffin.
Heer iz wat I iz lissenin 2 nao: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_l7RglZngHo
*puts owt kall tu teh entyre Rabid Weasul No-Insult Leeg an teh Weezul Yoonyun an ebree ovver reelated groop*
Otay, preddy soon yu shud start seeing teh cowurkers, er, nawt be there fur seeing ennymoar. Iz weezuls coming in frum awl ober, an martins an minks an awl kindz uv otter relativs… eben a few otters wif a gruj. We fink we knowing sum skwirrls whuz tree got cutted down fur a Krismus tree, we axing tehm if tehy want tu come just fur fun even if them nawt nom.
Um, ai thot u wuz vegemetaryans???
Well, normally we haz strickt vegematareeun diet… but az favour fur rhsb, an fur peeps whu inflikt Krismus moosiks awn cowurkers in Nobembrrrrr, we make eggsepshun an nawt ask if cowurkers be vegematar… ai meenz, vegetabuls.
Fanks, RW.
Oh, an ur diskreshun iz appresheatid.
Aw man, I just found a song that I hadn’t heard since I left MA in 2002.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7EONScLrHg
That’s so sad that teh kitteh was losted at sea. Must be a fassinating story.
I’ll bet it all happened on a dark and stormy nite. Yes… *screen starts to shimmer to prepare for teh flashback scene*
itteh bitteh kitteh was born at nite in pouring rain
and gusting winds in a teeny tiny village
Deh owl and deh pussycat wented tu sea in a beyootiful pea grean bote…
cweenmj, I left u sum wurdz at teh last fred, but u muvd herre, so I iz here tu, I haz sum ting to tell u pri…pra… nawt so ebrybudy hear, how tu do dat pwez?
U just tell everywun else to cover their ears and turn off all electronic lissening devices. Then u tells teh cween whut u needs to say. Then u has to wave a large colorful flag when u is teh done so that everywun knows that they can lissen again.
WHUT? I CAN’T HEER U! MY EERS IS COVERED!
(whispers) cween- chek upthred- ai sent u a dress!
*screen starts to stop shimmering, flashback begins.*
*LCB narrates*
It was a dark and stromy nite. All teh little kittehs in Splort Scout Troop #Elebenty were excited because they was about to spend teh night in teh old lighthouse. Little Leo was exspecially eggsited because it was his vry first overnight trip, his first time away from his mommeh. As teh troop marched towards teh litehouse, teh Splort Scout Master sed “watch out, u little kittehs, teh waves are very strong. Be teh careful to not slip off these rocks. No sooner had he sed this than Young Leo stepped on a sharp rock, causing him to…
… jump up elebenty feets in da ayr and ashoutin OWCHIE!! Den he flaild abouts in da ayr on his wai bakk down. but lo adn beholed, hii landed on hiz feets (awl kittehs do dat). Onse he finished gruumin hiz pawz adn sayin “Ai ment ta do dat”, …
… causing him to Reply to this comment.
“Halp!!” he typed.
“Ai has fallen, but as ai tumblez throo space, ai sends this messij for help. Ai noes, ai just noes that WerdPress will cum to mai rescyoo”.
Unfoshunately, werdpress had otter ideas. So, …
3.
…himz messij wuz sendinged intu owter spaiz, ware it b pikkinged up bai deh ayl eeyunz. Deh ayl eeyunz, in turn, pikking Yung Leo up wif dere tracktor beem. Deh negst thing he gnu, Leo wuz……
4. …aboard teh Starship Sekkondprize. It was clearly a sekkond-rate ship, wif a sekkond-rate croo and a third-rate captain wif a fifth-rate toupay. Young Leo didn’t knows all this of coarse because he was so young. So Leo looked around at teh ship and exclaimed…
5. I is NAWT SEKKUND!
And threw hisself on teh deck and started to have a tantrum.
6. Teh croo of teh Starship Sekkondprize, being not accustomed to such kittenish displays, and having hurty ears from all teh screaming and crying, immediately beemed Young Screaming Crying Leo down to …
7. teh Castle Anthrax, coz if any kid needed a spanking, this one did! But during transmisshun, a sunspot erupted and cozzed him to materialize insted in….
8.
… inside d’Beaker Labz. Igor saw him and ……
9. sed. Oh datz a NASTY bump yoo gotted on yer hed. Yew was mumblin sumfonm about da nawty barn. Here, I know what will make yew feels better, take this…
10. …maygickul Poshun! Eet mayke yew feels bettur! But littul did he nose dat da maygickul poshun was reelee drbreefing flooid. It was onlee a mattur ob tyme befores…
8. Da nawty barn. Were dere be lotsa ladeez in levver brandishing wooden paddles. What cauzed Leo to…
Teh Tayul ob teh Itteh Bitteh Seel Kitteh – bai Teh Cheezpeeps
*ahem*
Let us beguin at teh beguinnin – it wus a darkanstromy Tyoosdai. Teh wind wissulled All Thru teh Niyt (an odder Welsh himms). Itteh Bitteh Kitteh had jus run free tyms rown teh bedrume; upandown teh kertins; twys inanowt ob teh catflap and clapsed awn teh lillo – well, awn his hoomuns fayse, wich wus in teh wai ob teh pillo! Awl for noe bedderer reesun tah “cos he can” wen, awl ob a suddenlee…..
Oh b*gger – Ai told tihs commet TWYS it wus a reply to LCB! Dam yu, weirdpress! Dam yu to hek!
*shaeks fist and pors sef a martoonee*
*hands Ambercat an offishul badge that reeds: WP Support Groop*
We be glad u joining us.
*Sips badj an pins martoonee to shurt*
B*gger!
ROFPIMP!!!!!
He was sent to look fer teh bukkit.
Agg! I hatez it whem mah legz fall sleepy!
Is worse when they snore.
an wen dey steel de cuvvers
or hav bad dreems an start thrashing arownd!
Or starts kawling owt sumwun elz’s naym in theyr sleeps!
or gets up to get a glassobwarter
Mai tawp haff is a lurt butt mai bottum haff is awf doody.
heh heh – yoo sed doody!
NOooooeez. plz tu not nomming huzbin. Him savez mii frum lukking like klown in frunt uv mai studinkz.
Nursing ur drink: Ur doin it rong!
EM!!
Even if u IS ebil, u is still a rodint!
So u mite want to considur where ur loyaltees r.
*raised eyebrow*
Teh commints! They iz comming unfreded! Befoar teh hole uv Cheezland unravuls, we must nom WP!!!!!!
Yesh, Yesh. Yew be akwit, acwi, um let off, by a jooree ob yer peerz.
….make it take a long wok off a short peer…
Blorp blorp! Giv mii sum fishiiz pliiz!
haha very funneh
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!so funne!!!
Nonono, ur all wrong, itz Roan Inish, Da Sequel! Elxnt caption, Thogar!
kitteh seems more like a sea lion. seals look like one big blorp on the floor.
Bet kitteh has lotsofishies wen he wuz at sea!
Kitteh just be doing upward dawg.
y dey gotta use differn colorz? is sposed to be white lettrz.
i think the pic is funny and humerus