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5 sekkon rool



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5 sekkon rool u gone 5 sekkonz, iz mine

picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: cricket123

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    • Maus says:

      What a beautymous orange boy!
      Uh oh! Where are my Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses?
      *RumbleRumbleRumbleRumble*
      *SPLLOOORRRT!*
      Blargh!

      • sweetpea says:

        *wrings tendrils*
        wot to do?wot to do?wot to do?wot to do?wot to do?

      • Jenn says:

        Uh-oh! Let’s see if I can help Maus here…

        *picks brains off the floor and off my shoes*
        *swirls them around the coffee leftover from yesterday in my coffee cup*
        *packs them back into his head*
        *gets roll of packing tape from the Help Desk and straps everything down*

        Um, there. I also will offer virtual coffee, beer, martinis, chocolate, and blankets. Especially blankets, since it’s REALLY FREAKIN’ COLD here in South Carolina. :-)

        • Maus says:

          Thanks Jenn. I’m surprised you didn’t use Cat 5 and cable ties :cool:

        • skwirrlgrrl says:

          ohai Jenn u is rite, I iz in Norf Carolina!

          Make shur u prop maus up facing AWAY from teh lol.
          He’ll just spew branes again otterwise.
          *hands maus teh ushual (skotch)*

          • Maus says:

            Thanks.
            Hmmm… definition of an oxymoron… Cold North Carolina…

            • Of corse, it’s Michigan. But we had SNOW an Ai sea rodes! Eben teh snowplows came through! Awlmost unherd ov!

            • skwirrlgrrl says:

              That’s a compliment, rite?
              Becaws we is sooo hot in Norf Carolina? :cool:

              • Maus says:

                Only when you’re there, gurl… :cool:

                • Din Fleetpaw says:

                  Youu is luckee down dere, I has a cold awl da way up in mai wurld. *Icicles growin frum mai tayle, lemme show dem tew yew.* ^-^
                  Nawt sew bad, Ackshuallee, is ownlee 32*F an gunna stai dat wai fur da week, sew ai can handles it. ^-^

                  • Maus says:

                    We’re having colder-than-normal weather here in Teeny Tiny Delawhere. It’s going to hang around 32F for the next several days. Maybe some snurries too.

                    • Din Fleetpaw says:

                      Ahh, avoides da snurries as much as yew can! Dey is no gewd newse!
                      But dat sownds lyke da wethur dat we has been having heer. Just “bleh!” owtsyde! *Gets owt da hot cocoa*

                      • Maus says:

                        I was just outside having a cigarette breath of fresh air, and we are having some snurrying right now!

                        • Maus says:

                          *Uh ohs. I is gonna get a whuppin…*
                          Yes’m.
                          *Prepares for the inevitable lecture*

                        • bluesfan473 says:

                          *shaiks hed wif a sadness* maus, maus, maus

                          ai shud nawt point feengers, ai has plenny uv bahd habits, forchoonately dat iz nawt wun uv dem. Boff mai parentz heavy smokers all dere lifes butt neether mai sis or ai haz ever smoked.

                        • *sits Maus daon*
                          *luks him strait in teh aies*
                          .
                          Now, lookee heer, yung man!! Doo yoo know tath it aiges yur skin sumthing fieerse! An yoo will be awl rinklee and auld befoar yur taim!!
                          .
                          An yoo cud dye a horribul, paynfull deth – taeking yoo away frum us far too soo!!
                          .
                          an yoo cud bee gibing awl taht munnee to teh kitteh shelturz!!
                          .
                          *sigh* After yeeeeeeers ov traing – an succeeding fur a wile – an tehn relapsing – ai fnallee manjed to giv it up fur gud about 5 yeers ago. Ai NOE how hard it iz.
                          .
                          But this laif is so much fun – hao sad to leef urlee if yoo dont hav too!

                        • J-PAK!!!!11! Yoo smoked? :shock:

                          *wispurrs* Ai started smoking at 15. Wuz finallee able to quit abowt 20 yeeres ago.

                        • sweetpea says:

                          :shock: maus smoakz??
                          oh noes! i canna let dat happinz; will affektz hims singin & danzin!!
                          *tendrillz pikpokkit canzer stikz*
                          don’t mek me kum doon dere adn rap yur hed.

                        • tessm says:

                          (ai rilly thot maus wuz gonna reeply lyke tihs:
                          .
                          JCH4K: :shock: Yoo SMOKE????
                          Maus: ai donut noes, ai nebber luuked!
                          .
                          ba dum, bum!)

                        • Din Fleetpaw says:

                          Ai nose how dat be, Ai has a smokur in da fambilee hoo cannawt kwit. Luckilee, nawt me, but ai has a fursthand view ob it, sew ai nose how it can be.
                          .
                          We jes dun want anyting tew happen tew yew, yew is da won an onlee Maus! ^-^ An though it nawt be mai playce tew tells wat tew dew… *Fills a creem pi berry slowlee* Mai gentle coershun. *taykes aim* Lemme show it tew yew. ^-^ *fling!*

                        • :) Ai haz no eggs cues! Ai wuz . . .25 or so. Peer presshur. It wuz kool!
                          An ai wud kwit – sumtaimes eben fur a yeer oar moar! az long az no wun wuz smoking ai wus fine!
                          .
                          *sniff* Nao it iz soooo embarassing to hav such a shaymful past!!

                        • Maus says:

                          OK. Here we go…
                          *Standard Reply #1*
                          I only smoke 5 or 6 a day
                          *Standard Response #1 to Reply #1*
                          That few? Then why don’t you just quit?
                          *Standard Reply #2*
                          Because I enjoy it. I used to smoke 2+ packs a day 25 years ago.
                          *Another Standard Question*
                          But, but… you sing! It’s bad for your voice.
                          *Response*
                          Probably. But not noticeably
                          *Yet Another Oldie-but-Goodie*
                          But, but… you dance. It’s bad for your stamina
                          *Response*
                          Probably. But not noticeably. And you’d be surprised how many dancers smoke.
                           
                          I now return you to your regularly scheduled LOLs…

                        • Tessm!! LOL!! Ai wuz thinking ov that, too!! :D

                        • skwirrlgrrl says:

                          I has teh smoky past 2.
                          I started in collej ( the peeps that say if u makes it out of ohai school u won’t start notwifstanding) and finally managed to kwit for gud 10 years ago. But :oops: I still has one about every 6 months or so. Ushually, alcohol is involvd. (wotta shocker!) Anyways… kwitting not somethin anyone else can make u do, or talk u into, etc. U has to WANT to kwit, and if u don’t u never will. So maybee Maus will decide he wants to one day… and maybe not. But he will still be smokin’, even if he duz. ;)

                        • rhsb says:

                          I usta smoke an has thot abowt startin up agin.

                          Srsly.

                        • tessm says:

                          oh noes! if u iz luukin foar a hobby, u shud tayke up knitting insted. :)

                        • NO!! Dont doo it! Its sooo hard to kwit. An it duzznt maek yoo happeer – just kind ov stinkee!. an it’ll maek yur teeth yellow!
                          .
                          Just bee strong! Yoo can do it!! ;) {{{{rhsb}}}]

                        • rhsb says:

                          Well, mai reezunin iz:
                          * I eets tuu mush alreddy
                          * I wuz thinnur wen I smokeded
                          * I has alowt ov stress an I kant drink atwerk oar whiel dribin
                          * I alreddy bites mai nayls (BAD, rhsb!)

                        • tessm says:

                          but… but… knitting iz nawt stinkee!!
                          :shock:
                          Oh.

                        • tessm says:

                          ai wud haz 2 suggest teh exersize az a nawt-sekkund line uv reesuning. it wud werk on all uv yur isshues listed abuv.
                          alsew it halps wiv teh depressions.
                          ai admit ai donut lyke 2 wurk owt maiself, but ai am finking uv getting a samba wurkout video… luuks lyke fun!

                        • Maus says:

                          *Puts the lid pack on the Large Can o’ Worms*

                        • lovcharliecat says:

                          yu needs to be scarrded likes docturs scarrded me. Went fur ushual exam n doctur sez “ooo no likka yur hartbeats u go hobspitable nao!” turns out ai hassa Copd and den mai doctur (bless hiss hart) sez, her whatja du: eberytime u puts smokestick inna ur mouf yu sez to yourself “does I wanna live or die” n ob course teh answer is live *gets offa lecturn and returns to hideyhole*

                        • Maus says:

                          Oops! pack = back. Oh, dear! My slip is showing…

                        • stagehanddan says:

                          but lcc, what if the answer is I really dont care one way or the other.

                        • sweetpea says:

                          :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
                          “duzznt maek you happeer- just kind of stinkee!! FTW
                          sumwot OT Sunday I spent all afternoon & part of the evening in a bar/poolhall & hadda come home and washeverything i wuz wearing and washrinserepeat my hair wif peppermint teatree shampooz to get rid 0 da smoak sschmells.
                          Why were you inna bar all day & haf da nite?
                          Well, i wuz atta PuertoRican Baby shower. Srsly. We drove by the location a duzzen times even tho the GPS said “your destination is on the right” because we dint kno twas in da poolhall behind da Noname Pakaj Stoar. You can’t make dis stuff up.
                          Oh, and bofe da mom & dad to be r blind. And I was riding wif a friend inna wheelchair who used speshul steerink mechanizms dat plays a major scale. I lead a stranj adn wunnerful life…

                        • skwirrlgrrl says:

                          Dan! U don’t meen that do u??
                          Taht wud give me a sad. :(

                        • gremlin says:

                          sweetpea, this sownds lyke teh start uv a road trip movie wit yoo and yor karful uv frenz.

                        • sweetpea says:

                          Advenchurz wif Sweetpea
                          look for the Penquin Papurbak in a stoar neer U!!

                        • Din Fleetpaw says:

                          Aifink da thred gawted hyjacked by da smowke jes a teenee bit. ^-^ Tew much smowke in da aire. Ai fix it! *Pulls awt da industreeul strayngthe vaccoom an turns it awn… Da vaccoom owpens up an… a Raccoon pawps awt!* Awroo?
                          .
                          *Lewks at da bawks…* Oh! Dat be it! Is not Vaccoom, it be a VacCoon! ^-^ VacCoon gews tew werk wif da fuh-breeze an kleens up da aire* Ahhh! skweekee kleen! Dere! Dat werked aifinksew. ^-^
                          *VacCoon gews bak insyde… alowng wif sum shinee tings he fownd wile kleening!* Tank yew VacCoon! ^-^ *wave wave wag wag* Hey! Mai munnies be gawn! =P
                          (Bai nao, da eberee won mai be awn anudder topic, so ai be sowwy if dis dun mayke sense. =P It tewk a tinee bit tew type owt.) =P

                        • gremlin says:

                          Butch and Sweetpea?
                          Thelma and Sweetpea?
                          National Lampoon’s Sweetpea Vacation?

                        • :D Janet and Sweetpea!! Eben better!!

                        • sweetpea says:

                          will “Janet’s & Sweetpea’s Awesum Adbenture” start onna Dark & stoarmy nite?

                        • jamamakitty says:

                          yew wuz ridin in teh weelchayre??

                        • gremlin says:

                          Sownds perfekt! Ay’ll git Ridley Scott on teh fone. But we can has happeh ending this tyme, plzthx!

                          Lessee, whut awl duz we need to film a road movie abowt ICHC. Hmm.

                          Annymals
                          Bring-yor-own booze
                          Convertible
                          D . . .

                        • stagehanddan says:

                          De-briefing carts
                          Eeerwurms
                          Funyuns (gaffers gotta eat)
                          Gaffers (to eet da funyuns)
                          H…

                        • gremlin says:

                          Hyooj manatees, O Teh
                          Innernashunal peeps
                          Joolry, shiney
                          K . . .

                        • lovcharliecat says:

                          oh butz stagehandan (re yur post above) ai hopes u iz joking, u gots tu care…life iz eberyting

                        • Divakitty123 says:

                          Kittehs (ob corse)
                          Jelly for biskits
                          Lotsa toonafishees
                          Mmmmm…wut Ai say when I think about tuna
                          Nomnomnom
                          O…….

                        • gremlin says:

                          One whurld, rooled by teh cween (mj)
                          Peepuls, uv teh cheezy type
                          Quik typists
                          R . . .

                  • skwirrlgrrl says:

                    Bet u is glad u has that fur cote on. ;)
                    Ware duz u libs GoFur?

                    • Din Fleetpaw says:

                      Yesyes! Da fur cote halps owt!
                      .
                      Ai libs in da Nowrfeest. Ai gose tew da yooniversitee at Connect-I-cuts. ^-^ Is a berry nyce won, but gets cowld tew fasts!

                      • skwirrlgrrl says:

                        oh then u is rite neer teh NYC!
                        Dat cud b a fun plase to go to schools!
                        Verrie cold tho.
                        *shivers*
                        Y u not has a profile?
                        We needs to get u some blooness!

                        • Din Fleetpaw says:

                          Is berry close tew NYC, an tew Bawston, an tew home fur meh sew dat is nawt tew bad. ^-^ Ai likes it a lawt! Nuffin lyke da hills wif da bootiful trees turning colorses. An is onlee reelee bad wen da snow come down, becawse den it taykes elebentee-thowsund minnits tew go ackraws da campus! =P
                          .
                          Yew nose, ai hads a thawt abowt bein’ bloo… Oh! Wait! Ai has dat thawt agayn!
                          … *tinks hard… tinks harder…* … *Eyes grow wyde…*
                          *big woofeh smyle and tayle wags*
                          …wat was ai tinkin abowt agayn? ^-^ Ai losted it. =P
                          But ai will be shur tew dew it sewn!

                        • Yoo ar a GOGGIEZ goggee!! ;)

                        • Din Fleetpaw says:

                          Hehe Wai tank yew. ^-^ Ai fink ai ackt moar ob a goggie dan a woofeh sumtymes. =P But it be okay, ai is maisalf!
                          Ai will get bloo in da fuchur sewn enuff.

        • BISCUIT says:

          ai agreez wif u iz reeli kold in sc.

          speshully in branchville

      • jmuhj says:

        Mai feelungs eggszacklii, Maus!

    • Hai Maus! There yoo ar again! In thiz moast convenient spot! Top! Yay fur yoo!!
      .
      May ai?? ;) Thanks!
      .

      Monring rodney!! ;) Happy tales to yoo up there! Maed me laff furst thing, az ususal! But – may ai pleez hang this important announcmint heer awn your glorious top spot? so it duzznt get lost! Thanks!
      .
      TRUMPETS SOUNDING!!

      ON THURSDAY, THE 20th DAY OF NOVEMBRRRRR 2008
      When the ICHC clok strikez 3 AM
      (aka 2 PM ITT, 9 AM EST, 8 AM CST, 7 AM MT and 6 AM PST. That iz teh second pickshure ov the day!!)
      .
      There will be a HYOOJ (I hope) Celery Brashun
      in honor of the BIRTHDAY of
      That Tendrilled Darling ov ICHC ~
      Teh Brayve Defender ov Endanjured Langwijes
      Teh Wun, the Only, the Many -
      .
      MARY Oโ€™ SPOCKN
      .
      aka Choppโ€™d Livah Grrl, Sweetpea, MayWee, Mais Oui, Mais Non,
      Mausโ€™s Ebil Princess, an โ€œa surtin flora hoo shall nawt be named.โ€
      .
      EBREEWUN iz moast hartilee invited.
      .
      Yoo may bring shwimps in awl kinds ov deelishus vershuns az well as other dellishusn an nootrishus refreshmints an drinkses and prezzies.
      (But pleeeeez leeve the Roundup at hoam!! An the hedj clipperz.). An teh noo weekwhacker ;)

      Ai hope verree much to see yoo awl there!! It shud be heeps oโ€™fun!! ;)

    • AnnaSchaer says:

      Kitteh sez “What iz it? What eveh ez, iz MINE!”

  1. skwirrlgrrl says:

    Thats teh law of grabbitee.

  2. sweetpea says:

    i can haz seconds, pls?

    • sweetpea says:

      and thirdz? adn forftsh?

      • sweetpea says:

        wot, no wun took da kue/straight line?

        okayz, i will starts the 5th alfamabeticamal Liszt:

        5th Ammendment, (use az needid)
        5th Beatle
        5th Circuit court 0 appeals
        5th Dimension
        5th Estate
        5th F…

        • tessm says:

          5th Force (a proposed force of nature in addition to the four known fundamental forces – Wikipedia is mai fren!)
          5th Grade
          5th H…
          .
          .
          .
          —————————–
          (aifinkso a cupple uv impoartant wuns got lefted out tho)
          5th Avenue, Saks
          5th, Beethoven’s
          5th Element

  3. rhsb says:

    I iz cookie monstur!

  4. teh ornj wuns is poyszon AND hungry. mostly hungry. don’t hurry back; won’t be anything left.

  5. Jenn says:

    My Goldeneye kitty (who looks like this guy except twice as big) does this to me every morning when I’m eating my breakfast.

    • gremlin says:

      Ohai, Jenn. Hao beeg is yor Goldeneye kitteh? I luvs me teh orinj wuns, speshully teh beeg orinj wuns. They has teh win!

      And nao I haz a tabbeh, an I luvs heem too. Hez gunna be a beeg boi – at less than 8 munths, he nao ways almost 13 pownds (up from 12 pownds a few weeks bak). I will has to start watchin his fuds. I don’t wunt heem to git overwayt, but he has a gud appetite!

      • tessm says:

        as u sed b4, teh big wuns are an ARMFUL! iz teh best!

      • Jenn says:

        Goldeneye weighed 18.8 pounds when I took him for his annual checkup a month or so ago. He’s my big boy, my guard cat, my “sit on Mommy’s feet so she stops getting out of bed when she doesn’t need to” (long story) helper, etc.

        • gremlin says:

          I sends hugs for yoo to plz giv to yor beeg orinj boi. Tell heem this hug is frum Gremlin:

          {{Goldeneye}} Luvs teh naym! Mah beeg orinj kitteh’s eys wer as orinj as himz furz.

  6. rhsb says:

    **rhsb, lissenin 2 “Hebbin Can Wate” by Meet Lofe, fawls asleep**

    THUNK!

    ZZzzzzzzzzzzz……

  7. bluesfan473 says:

    Awl ur wat-eber-dat-iz r myne soon az u turnz ur bak

  8. Kitteh wayts a whole five sekkunds? Iz moar payshunt than mine!

  9. lizgurl says:

    iz 5 secunds in cat years?

  10. KCTailkinker says:

    Wy wayte 5 sekkunds? NOM NAO!

  11. burfday fairy says:

    heerz teh burfday fairy to wish a big HAPPEE BURFDAY to all teh cheezfrenz, lolfrenz, noofrenz, lurkurfrenz, an trolz hoo haz tehms burfdays today!! fank yoo to ebreewun hoo gibbed me hugs yestirday. burfday fairy haz had a meh. an a bleh. an a bit ob a pleh, eben. i eben tryed sitting in wun ob teh enurjy vortexes an taht didnt eben help!! :( but i will keep on. teh bestest way to gets rid ob teh meh an bleh an pleh, besides huggses frum frenz, iz to do nise fings for ovver peeples! :D so i haz bringed tasty burfday cakes in yor favrit flavrs, i skreem, frooty punch, poynty shiny party hats wif pompoms on tehm, an goodie bags wif kandees (not too many for ginness piggeh tho!! :shock: i still bemeber wut happned wen him ated too much ob burfday fairy’s leftober hallolween!), yoyos taht lite up wen teh yoyo, ittybitty sekrit diariees, an puffy kitteh stikkers wif googly eyes!
    ยง ยค โ‚ช ฮพ โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค โ‚ช ฮพ โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค โ‚ช ฮพ โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค โ‚ช ฮพ โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ
    โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค โ‚ช ฮพ โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค โ‚ช โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค โ‚ช ฮพ โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค โ‚ช โ˜บ
    ฮพ โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค โ‚ช ฮพ โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค ฮพ โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค โ‚ช ฮพ โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค ฮพ
    ยค โ‚ช ฮพ โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค โ‚ช ฮพ ยค โ‚ช ฮพ โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค โ‚ช ฮพ ยค โ‚ช ฮพ โ˜บ า— ฮธ ั ยฃ ยง ยค โ‚ช ฮพ

  12. jen83 says:

    Aww! Hims wook just wike mah kitteh!!

  13. catalogical humor says:

    i can has cheezpizza?

  14. rhsb says:

    Ohai, frenz.

    **yawns**

    Izzit tiem to go hoem yet?

    I gots teh chineez dizeez: draggin azz. ;-)

  15. D.R. says:

    Nom rule:

    If I wanna nom it, zero sekinds.

  16. KCTailkinker says:

    No sekkunds! NAO! Mai kittehs were konserned caws ai wuz bery sick ober teh weekend. Wile ai sleepz, dey gotz up onna cownter in kitchen, grabz teh gud wheet bred nawt teh wite, taykes it owt to teh libing rum, and starts nomming. Mind u, dey had nawt eben missed WUN meel! NAWT WUN! But dey felt dey needed to be konserned abowt bovvering teh hoomun caws she wuz sik. Or dey just wanned niec beddur bred. Dere wuz no 5 sekkund rool dere. ;)

  17. PookieRose says:

    5 sekkon rool eqolz menee a cheezburger!

  18. The_Gunfighter says:

    I think the real question here…

    Is that pizza or keish? Mmmm… keish…

  19. ShadowSkyX says:

    mi kitteh has a 3-second rul

  20. ooh, kitteh kitteh – dose luky lolcatz, dehy get der hoover krafts fer drivinโ€™ round der house. lokz lik dey r guna sell diffent brands lik da real carz, and giv dem fancy itilian namz.


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