But I don’t wanna haz a capshun
But I don’t wanna haz a capshun
capshuns nawt dat bad. dey jus taek up a lil room.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: toootze
« Previous Fine, I makes mai | itteh bitteh kitteh commiteh Next »
» 131 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
-
Who be Talkin'
paul not that one on Can u see da cute now? gremlin on Am I supposed to be impre… gremlin on Nomnivore 5 eagles on Can u see da cute now? PoussinBoi on Can u see da cute now? 5 eagles on Can u see da cute now? PoussinBoi on Can u see da cute now? miniminsmum on Can u see da cute now? PoussinBoi on Can u see da cute now? PoussinBoi on Can u see da cute now? 5 eagles on Can u see da cute now? PoussinBoi on Can u see da cute now? PoussinBoi on Can u see da cute now? miniminsmum on Can u see da cute now? miniminsmum on Can u see da cute now? 
Cheezburger Network Blog
Ai is too cyoot!
Such purr-tee bloo ayz, such sawftee furz, n da liddul gray frinj rownd da eerz — 2 kyoot! O noez! Heer it komz!!
****SPLORT****
*klunk*
Tidmum rushes in wiv teh CCC….
Poor Aahz! That is a bad one.
*Scoop scoop scoop*
*Perlop plop ploop*
..scans for any stary branes… tahts them.Got them all.
*Streeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch tug snaaapp* puts new CHRG(wdoi) on bonce
*Wrap wrappity wrap* ..Kitteh pawprint dukky tape for you..
*Hot chokklit, Chokklit possums and a blue floofy blankee for you.
Checks Aahz pulse wiv new fob watch – firmly chained to my person to stop LCB boreein it..
There now. You rest awhile, and I’ll check in on you later…
**opens eyes weakly**
**looks around**
O fanky, tidmum — I wuz kawt wiffowt mai CHRG(wdoi) win I leest spektid it…
**sips hot chocolate and eats chocolate possums**
**pulls blanket tighter**
Mmmmm…… chokklit… Nys watch, 2… Kerful uv dat LCB…
**curls up and dozes off while possums take effect…*
timez 2 restock teh CCC.
letz see, we needz;
2 dozen CHRG’s
twenty four warm floofy blankies
twenty four com4table pillows
24 rolls of ducky tape
12 dozen chocolate possums
six brooms 4 sweepity sweepity
Six scoops 4 scoopin up teh brains
Teh splortz is srrs wurk. We has to keep sooplies redee for dis.
Ohai{{{{Aahz}}}} yu bin orf da jorb tu menny daiz nd cumz bak nd splortz. Maibe yu nedez anovvur dai orf?
Ohai, Milady! I bin AWN da jawb uh lawt laytlee iz da reezun I nawt bin heer much, but win I kaymded bak I fur-gotted 2 B purr-pairded 4 da splort — sorda gotted outta da habbit…
Grajjamalayshuns Ambercat!
Dans dans dans, dansdansdans, dans daaaaans!!!!
(Jus between yoo n mee, it’s nawt just happee dans, Ai haz to keep up teh dansin or else mai hed might asplode too, wif teh kyootness yoo see)
Let’s help teh poor Aahz til teh CCC gets here…
Dans dans dans…..
boom!!! Yoo ar heer TOOO???? Ai wuz about to rite to teh Tofuburger an see if she cud find yoo fur me!
.
Ai hoep yoo ar bak fur gud!
.
But – of yoo reed this – an ai hoep yoo do, pleeze to rite to cweenmj an hav yurself putted awn teh CheezPeepleMap!! Rite to hur at cweenmj@gmail.com and tell hur where yoo ar frum (countree and town) and purrhaps a little lion about it! She can send yoo teh link, az well – so yoo can see waht it luks laik!
.
{{{{{booom}}}}} SOOO happy to see you!!
?????
Den doan luk naow, cuz U gotted wun…
We can has a ty! Hie we to teh ty-booteek – bagsy Ai a bobble-hedded kitteh!
Concatulayshuns awn teh tawp spot TY Ambercat an Aahz
Passes a hooge jug ob Martoonie over..
*Cheez*
Schluuuuuuuuuuuuurp!
*lipsmak*
Wot’s ebbereewun els havin?!
Bedtime cawfee fer me Ifinkso. Pass teh Pit props for my iyes plz?
….I has a tired an I wanna go to bed..*wanders off humming ..
*Show me the way to go home*….
Enjoi the Eerwerm
Plees dyrekt me to teh rezziduns ob mai aboed
Ai am fateeged an Ai wish to retyr
Ai partuk ob a lidl bevridge proximutly 60 minuets ago
An it went dyrekly to mai cranium
BWAHAAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAA
.
Very Eloquent my Dear Ambercat.
I shall partake of my Bedtime Libation, and Bid you a very Goodnight.
..*spits plum out ov gob and laffs an laffs*
Win I heerz dat sawng, I fink uv Quint, Hooper, n Bruce…
I can’t imagine why….
Con-CATZ awn da tawp spawt, Ambercat! But I jess splorted abuv, sew I nawt n enny kundishun 2 goe shawpin at da tybooteek, but ifn U liek U kin pik me up uh bobble-hed kitteh 2 wyl ur dere…
hmmm, mebbee a kiteh scarf to wrap yur hed up in wud be bedderer
Mebbe, but it wood cuvver up da noo CHRG(wdoi) and kitteh pawprint dukkytayp Tidmum givded me…
It wud be biggerer tahn me too .
Is kitteh sitting in a pie?
Yes. Is a kewtie pie. I’ll has some, plz.
Muss b uh sororitee kitteh — membur uv Q T Π
I no finks Q is a greek lettur
I no finkz herz izza membur uv Eta Moon Pi, tho…
iz a member of Eta Whoopie Pi?
Wood da memburz uv dat sororitee b re-furr-d 2 kullektivlee as EWPs? (purr-nownst “oops”)
Akshully, I fink dat is the fraternity our current
Purrsident belonged to
Cood b — owr preeveeyuss Purr-zidint wuz uh membur uf “I Felta Thigh”, I finksew…
Mmmm… ai can eetz a moon pi?
weight watchur kitteh does not approve of Ur dietary choyces
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2008/05/10/funny-pictures-no-points-left-chubby/#comments
…
*drowns sorrows in a bukkit (sry, Mr Walrus) uv icee creem*
Here. Hab a bukkit ob chikken too. Dat alwayz halps me.
oh don’t has a sad nightshayde!
go to teh last lol and see ur late burfday wishez.
yesh. happy b’ lated burfday!
gibbe meh deh bukkit so U stayz that wai
sayz ww kitteh
ohai nighty shade I missed Ur birfdai celebrashunz
Happeh Belated Birfdai!!!
{{{{nightyshade}}}}
Fanks, two_kittehs!
ohai, nightshayde, I lefted birfdai wishes on prebious pikshuoor, 2.
Fankies — ai just looked & lef a messij there.
*haz a happee*
I bin awai agin, sew I misted ur birfdai pardee NS!
But I kin weesh U uh layt Hippo Birdee, kaynt I? I kin? Gud!
Oops, rong pakij… 
HIPPO BIRDEE 2 EWE NIGHTSHAYDE!!1!
Heerz ur prezzint!
*hands Nightshayde a ticking package*
*quickly swaps correct present for ticking package*
Sry bowt dat… Insyd da boks wif da irrydessint rappin pay-purr n holla-graffik ribbunz izza liddul fuzzy annymaytid Hello Kitty figgereen, but nawt jess enny kynda liddul fuzzy annymaytid Hello Kitty figgereen … Eech tym U tikkul itz eer, it will givz U Hello Kitty-shaypted chokklitz wif sordid kreemee fillinz n ur fayvrit flayvurz! I hoapz U nawt awlriddee b havvin wun…
Hippo Birdee agin!!1!
…
…
Naow … wat 2 dew wif dis…
*hands ticking package to Maus*
LOL — fankyoo, Aahz! Ai lubz mah Hello Kitty — an teh choklitz it givs… an teh rappin pay-purr & teh ribbunz.
…
ICHC beez teh nicest playce wif teh nicest pplz!!!
Hai Aahz!! Ai’m so glad yoo ar bak!! Ai hav mist you!
How teh hecks did you know I wuz here, mai fren.
*TickTickTickTickTickTickTickTick*
*BOOM!*
Oopsie!
*piks up liddle pieces ov Maus heer an there*
*getz out gloo pot an lots ov noospaypur*
*puts pieces togedder laik a jigsaw puzzle*
*gloos tehm awl togeterh again*
*puts liddle Maus bak down awn teh floor*
.
Taht iz stranj! Hao DID he know yoo were heer? Yoo ar as gud az NEVER heer at this hour!
“Well, that’s you all over!”
Or, more acurately, me…
*Blargh!*
are you dead, or just mostly dead?
(i could use some spare change)
I’ve been mostly dead all day…
*thinks to self: drat, i really needed that spare chanj*
uh ohes, why?
*tendrilz tempted reach in pokkit while Maus recounts tail of woe*
Is teh largo storee. Muchas bizzee atwerks. Gotta go. Mrs. Maus are home an I hasta feeds her. TTFN!
Happy Bifrdai! an manny moer!
Fanks, midnightsdeer!
Sum one sais icee creem?
ohai Joe the LCB
here is some cutie pie kitteh fur Uz
:hands LCB a snorglishus bebbeh kittun with fuzzeh furz
Thx, Joe teh two_kittehs!
Would u hand me Joe teh Fork, plz?
U no needs fork fur kitteh
jus hugs and snorgles and smooz
but here is Joe the fork and choclit pecan pie fur Uz
Thx!
*Joe teh nom, Joe teh nom, Joe teh nom, Joe teh nom, Joe teh nom*
I lyke Ur mantra!
Nam myo ho renge Joe…
Helas! Je ne comprends pas. . .Qu’est que ce vous voulez dire?
.
And oh my! Haz mai pitiful bit ov Frosnsch eber gone to pot! LOL!
It shouldn’t be smokin’ taht stuff aifinkso!
snrk!! sniker!!! LOL!!! ROFL!!!
Whut? No PIMP?
Gotta go. Teh Missus needs hur din-dins. TTFN!
PS: LOVED the video! I did PIMP!
C’est pas de wonder — c’est pas Fronsch.
BTW, Janet: avez-vous chatted wif any hi-skool frenz lately?
Stranjlee enuff, ai chatted wif an ohai skool frend just this afternoon!
.
An wehn Salleh an ai gotted hoam frum runnin (still Mavrikee) around, tehre wuz a HOOOOOOOOOJ BEYOOTIFUL bouquet sitting in frunt ov teh door awn the syde porch!!
.
Verree soon, pikchoors ov it will be appeering fur ebreewun to see.
.
Huge deep pink roses (salleh says 45 petal rose!!!), pink an whyte lilies, forming a ring awl arount teh lower part, baby’s breath, pink snapdragons, diffenbachia, asparagus fern, AND pink silk sweetpeas!!! An sum odder tiny flours – whyte an purple – we don’t know what they ar – and misc green stuff – an curly willow up awn top! An curlee edged Boston fern.
.
Salleh maed tehm deliver it, becuz she sayed it wuz too big to fit into teh car.
.
AND a gift certificayte – fur a local nursery fur things fur teh garden an yard.
.
Ai am still in a stayte ov semi-shock! It iz GORGEOUS!!! Az yoo will soon see.
Yay for Joe teh Purty Flours!
Yay for Joe teh Cheezfrenz who lub their Joe teh Janet!
OH yes! Yay fur Joe teh Cheezfrenz, foar ai luv tehm deerlee!
)
(yes, ai sayed it) ebber in teh hole lenghth ov taim, where peeple hoo ar so much alaik cud find eech otter frum awl ober teh whirrld!.
.
An YAY fur Joe teh lolcatburglar an Joe teh Sweetpea!
(oar iz that lol teh catburglar and Sweet teh pea???
hoo ai suspeckt organzied teh hole thing!
.
An YAY fur ICHC hoo browt awl theze amazing an wunderful peepl awl togedder in wun plaice! A FURST
.
Ai’m nawt shur what ai sayed there, fur part ov it iz in teh dredded rap-around! but ai just cannawt beleeve taht ai can has so menee TOADALEE fantastial frenz, an ai thank yoo awl frum teh bottom ov mai hart!!
.
{{{{{cheezpeepsfrumebreeware}}}}}
And a grate big yay for Joe teh Janet, who is so well lubbed.
When we passed teh lolhat around to collect moneys for flours and a domantion to teh charity choosed by ur fambly in ur mommeh’s honor I was expecting at most a few hunnert dollars. We ended up wif a little over eleben hunnert! 70 peeps donated. So after we donated to teh charity and sended ur first bookay there was enuff lefted over for another bookay (surprize!) and teh rest for teh certificate so u could plant a memorial tree for ur mommeh or whatever u wanted. Joe teh Sweetpea worked out wif ur fren whut kine flours to send and she buyed teh silks special 4 u.
Make that 79 peeps who donated.
Stoopy wraparound.
♫we ♥ you , Janet.*nods* oh, yes, we do!!
♪ we ♥ you, Janet, and we’ll be true!!
♫ wen ur nawt wif us, weer blooooo…… ♫
Sorry JCH4K LCB waz tawkin Sanscript, nawt Frosnch!
Can alsew say dat mantra as:
“Nom mii oho! rang gay keyholes”
??????”rang gay keyholes”??????
But yoo does has one!!1!
Maek teh capshun go awai, Mommeh!!!
But, but, eberywun else has a capshun!
foar evvuh plaid!
O pupz! NOES! NOES! Ai cant! …..o noes….
Heer it cums ennywai! Noes. noes. noes…..
***SPLORT SPLORT SPLORT***
Oh noes!! They fallin like fallin feengs tonight!!
KCTailkinker is down as well…
*Scoop scoop scoop*
*Perlop plop ploop*
..scans for any stray branes… tahts them.Got them all.
*Streeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch tug snaaapp* puts new CHRG(wdoi) on bonce
*Wrap wrappity wrap* ..Kitteh pawprint dukky tape for you..
*Hot chokklit, Chokklit possums and a lilac floofy blankee for you.
Checks KCTailkinker’s pulse
There now. You rest awhile, and I’ll check in on you later…
.
…goes off to fetch mop and bukkit. That was a BAAAD one. Phew! Good job I remembered the drill. I is a bit rusty…
O Tidmum! Fankies! *pats floofy violet blankee and drinks hawt choklit and eets choklit possums* Yum! Feel beddur nao! O yes! Ai’ll rest…o dat wuz so so bad! *pulls violet blankee up and snorgles in it*
awww cute kitteh
O wellz. I ges teh kitteh has to has a capshun.
Dun wuree kitteh, teh capshun nawt hurt. Jus laik getin ur nales trimd.
mah kittehs fite that toof and nail
they not wantz to gibe up dere weaponz of destrukshunz
I fink so
Givvem sum shuvvlez n raykz inna red VW mykroebuss 2 mayk up 4 it…
I iz not crazee to arm mah liddel bandits
themz is effective enuff as it iz
I can has own thoughts please? kthxbai
Kitteh finks hims can hides frumma capshun inna lillah bed.
Iz too late.
I haz purtay bloo eyez … i deserves better capshuns!
how bout,
‘Kitteh practisses his Paul Nooman impresshun’
Kool hans Luke kitteh
Iz hard for to fink uf funee capshuns for maiself, pleez no mak me do it
I just meks test here to see if new picshoor shows up insted of qult blox.
Oh noes!! Den I gess dat I be magenta quilt blox forebber and ebber…..
As cyoot as ai am, ai needz no capshum!
Luk up kyoot in da dikshunairee, u see dis kitteh. Def splort!!!
Kin I rites it mah sef?
Oh darn. no fumbz!
I has ta get mah furs combed?
Mai small babbeh kitteh eyes, let me show u dem.
OH! dose i’s, dose fuffy fuzzees, dose iddle eeers, dat haz a sad faec, I iz gonna blow!
splorty splort splort
sigh
I iz picken up deh bwains I splortyed awl ober, cud sumbuddy hanz me ducky taep?
ebreebody alrddy made teh commints i wuz going to make, more or less (i’z so kyoot, no wun shuld luk at anyfing but me!)
.
so i will just update teh story ob kumo an teh Bad Cat Poo. heer iz teh orijinul post:
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2008/11/02/funny-pictures-parts-iz-da-nuggetz/#comment-487209
tehr wuz so many gud sugjestuns gibbed to me, dis morning i pikked wut sownded like the eeziest to start wif an gibbed kumo a gud skrub wif a payst ob baking soda an water in the baftub. him wuz gud if unenfooziastik. no poynty endz, anywayz. dis afternoon, shiro wuz on my bed on teh bloo afgan (primo napping spot) napping an kumo jumped up on teh bed. him not sitted on teh afgan, just on teh bedspred a fyoo feets away frum shiro. just wayting, a liddle nerbus mebbee ob how shiro wuld reakt. after a fyoo moments, shiro moobed ober to kumo, sniffed himz face, an tehn LIKKED KUMO’S HED AN EERZ!!! an now no more hissings an skoldings wen tehy walk past eech ovver, no more shiro running away frum teh Stinky Bad Cat Poo smell!! yay!!
oh, i forgotted – aftur shiro likked kumo’s hed an eerz, tehn kumo went ober to afgan an curled up just a fyoo inches away frum shiro wif no objekshuns frum shiro. just nise an peeseful.
.
oh, an i frowed away teh toewl taht i catched kumo in. wuz nebber gonna com kleen, prolly just stink up my washin masheen foreber.
and demz libbed happily eber aftah
fanks fur the update lunar mommy
{{{lunarmommy and her kittehs}}}
Iz gud to heer. Da bakin soda gud trik to noe for da future. Kumo wuz gud kitteh for da no pointy enz for da baf. Kumo probly glad for stinkee smelz to go way frum da furs. Dat sum bad kitteh in da outsidz to mak such nastee smelz on ur kitteh. Shiro gibs kumo da kitteh lub for habbing da gud smells nau i tinks. I haz a hapee for dat, I wuz finkin bout kumo…kittehs nawt likes da bad smellz on dem frum da kitteh thugs dat be in da outsidez. Iz gud for to fwow out old towel allso. Dat towel cud be gibing you hauntinz of da bad smell timz.
happytaildansdansdans!!!! YAY!
Dat be da AWESUM, lunarmommy! Ai has a BIG happi fur da happitail!!
Behbee Kitteh no
needz kapshun. Haz t3h ‘Sploart!’. Dat’z
awll hurz ebber needz!
Behbee Kitteh seez
awll kyndz ubz messez. Wundurrz
wut coodz habz happend?
Behbee Kitteh can
haz Belleh Rubbinz naow? Hurz
wurk heer iz finnishd
Jack.
Now that the ICHC “I Can Haz Cheezburger” book is out, can a Jack Deth book be far behind??? I’d buy elenbenty hundrez, at leest – an gib tehm to awl mai frenz an relatives!!
Just when ai think, Jack, that yoo can’t pAWssiblee do it bedder – you DOOOO!!!
ai just had a splort
Leegullee Broonett habz
t3h ‘Sploart!’ andz CCC iz
reddee andz wayteengz
Taykz ‘Braynee-Akk Vakk’
andz pikz up t3h peesez. Den
poarz bakk wayrz beelawngz
Buddurr~fly Band Aydz
maykz ebbeefeeng prittee wunss
moar. U wuntz Vellkro.
Dukkt Tayp, oarz Bunjee
Coardz 2 hoaldz CHRG
in playss? Habz noo andz
improovd mawdullz ubz
CHRG juss 4 U.
Pullz daown nyss andz tyte
Habz Iee Bryte Tee oarz
Red Zingurr. Awllso habz sum
Froazinn Milkee Wayz
andz Hurshee Bawrz wiff
Nommee Awllmundz. Habz floofee
blankitt 2 cuddillz
Jack.
Aw Jack, you do the bestest splort recubberees!
ohai DK!
U still givvin applols away?
Ohai Leeza! Heer, ai has a Fuji applol just fur yoo:
honeycrisp.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=Fuji-Apple-Gift-Box
Adn see wut it says abowt our J-PAK? “Janet is an antique apple that goes back to Thomas Jefferson in 1793″. Hoo new!
LOLZ! Janet is an ant eek applol??
I lerns something noo every day out here!
U never had a fuji applol DK? U hasta try one.
And ackshully, teh honeycrisp are eben better.. but harder to come by.
Anyways, teh fuji is firm, sweet and joosy!
Hoo cud resist that??
Ai uzulee buy Macintoshes, butt next time ai’ll trai a Fuji!
let me know wut u think!
I is hedding to beds. Takin advantaj of teh time chanj to try an get to werks a littul earlier.
Has a gud nites!
Ai will!
Oh, so that’s why ai bees so tyred! Ai forgetted abowt teh time chanj! Orf to bed wif mii too. Nite-nite Leeza n awl teh udder cheezpeeps!
ni ni leeza and 4.5! Happi snorgle dreemz!
lol, he doesn’t have a choice.
U gotz wun anywaiz, kitteh, so enjoyz it!!1!