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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
« Previous Dear Cheeseburger Jerks, | monorail cat employs Next »
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

But we has a kitteh. Would u like a kitteh-noodle casserole?
Ah, mon grande et powderfloof nemussis “lolcatburglar”… nous meets agen
.
Je regarde vous avez une solo ne pas de sekkund… tray bean
Ah, bonjour, mon ami piggeh. Has vous recovered from les jeus de yesterday? C’était du fun, no?
Que? Vous est le BLIND??? Vous does nawt regarde mon arm dans le sling?
.
Mon dieu!
Awww, pauvre LPB, vous has le owee arm???
oui, oui… je ne pas de jouex le scampering aujourd hui
Oh, je thought that was a scarf that u put on rong.
When did vou brake le arm? Je ne rember pas any bones le brokened at le party.
“Whack le Pigyata” – vous ne pas de remembering? hmm, prolly nawt. Boocoo de Kathlua, je pense!
Je rember que vous ranawayavecvitesse after Joe the Janet freed u.
Now, is it possumable that Janet hurted u wif her rench de croissant? Sounds soft and flaky, but prolly can does some damages.
non non non, Zhanet et moi nom nom nommed le croissant… eet was tray sawft et flakey…
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alors, aujourd’hui je ne pas has le funnee…
Here, LPB. Has some shampers. That will put vous dans le mood gud.
le shampers c’est toujours bon! Puis j’avoir un pint, silver plait?!
*pores a pint of shampers for Ambercat*
*keeps teh tap open, lays hed under stream of shampers, opens mouf*
murky bukkets! Hic!
*thud*
Merci…
.
* shample shample
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hmm… je suis jus un petit peu de funnee, je pense…
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* scamperlimps off inna serch of sense ob hoomer… et comfort fud
Iz deh Pleh! werk bovvering u?
mais, oui. pleh! et j’ai le pain dans ma knees (still!) ne pas de fun…
Voulez-vous de butter to spred sur le pain dans vos knees?
Zhe pawnse le sham payn weel makeeng
le nee paynz goeengz away.
Tray phunneh, LCB.
.
je stick avec le shampers je pense!
Ne whackez pas le shampers avec le stick! Je begs vous.
mais, mais, mais…
.
mon frustration – REGARDE CA!
O, u wants teh chilli sause in ur shampers? Why u not say so?
*puts chilli sause in LPB’s shampers*
* shample shample *
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O, MON DIEU! C’est tray tray bean! Heer, tri sum!
.
* ‘accidentally’ splashes chilli shampers in LCB’s face adn runsawygrandevitesse
a-HA! Ur limp is teh gone!
I knoes u was teh fakingit.
Either that, or teh chilli shampers is a miraclol drug.
*snuggluls up gainst teh piggeh an purrrrRRRRRrrrrrRRRRrr an hedbonks*
{{{Trick}}}
Ai share mai toona treets wif yu if yu haz a sad.
mmm merci boocoo! mais, je pense je voudrais sumfing avec chilli sauce…
Mabye u shuld rites to this Deer AbbyTabby I keeps heering about. She can give us teh advise.
Ah!! Moan pauvre petit piggeh burglolar!! ven ay ee sea. I weel takeeng care uv djoo.
*leedz LPB tu a kumfee sofa wiff menee pillowz and soft blankeez.*
Ahsayay-vous et de tawn daze.
O mon cween – eet was hurr! le won avec le burglar mask!
.
s’il vous plait, ne pas tu letting her hurt moi aneemoar…
*rappz protektiv bubblol rownd LPB.
Zere, zere, leeetul piggeh, she cannot hurteeng djoo men ten aw.
*pourz a cuppa steemy hot tea
Dreenk zis, eel ay bone poor djoo.
* sip sip sip *
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Ah merci, mon sherry; s’il vous plait tu be telling me: votre lolFronsch c’est tray eggzotik, ou did vous learn ca?
Zhay stoodee at Lay Coal de Inter Toobz. Poor only $19.95 djoo, tu ken lerning zee lolfronsh.
LOL!m WANT! Ai canz haz PhD en lolfranch?
tu as le sherry?! Puis j’avoir un pint de sherry, silver plait?!
* pours Ambercat une demi-litre de Sherry
.
je suis desole, madame – je suis une metric pig
pardon, monsewer, le metric ce n’est pas un problem; la demi-litre c’et bonne!
Nous avons l’amusement! bow coup. A, Say vray mon ne ces sair — l’argent nous manque ici. Pleah!!!
Wait, whut? Whut u talking ’bout, piggeh? When did I do that? Teh survaylence video from teh party shows u runnin ’round wif Trick teh kitteh when I leaved.
Did it occurify to vous that lotsa peeps was waring masques yesterday? How can u be teh sure it was me?
Yu waz teh wun pretendin tu be a v-e-t an takin tempurchurs uv HELFY kittehs whu nawt need it an putting cone collars awn taht wuz HARD tu rigglol owt uv! ai membur yu!
.
Ai nawt reesponsbul fur teh piggeh’s arm, tho.
oui oui! je had une cone collar aussi! Et, elle tukk mon temprachur et jamais gabe eet bakk!
.
Zut Alors!
je nose votre hedbat aneeware!
.
* hides behind cween
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EEP! elle has got le ebil lukk dans les yeux!
*sends LPBz bubblol spinning owt uf LCBz reech.
*wunderz if she put too much English on that.
Q. Do you have any English in you?
.
A. __________________________
Ai haz sum English! !/4 Ingerlish, 1/4 Irelandish, an. . .1/2 jerman!
Sumtaims ai dont get alawng wif maiself so well.
Bai naow iz lunsh tiem so I goze to maik kitteh nudul soop wif a liddul bit ham nd mxh runez nd grene unyum. Lo sodyum broth neded sum slat.
bad lolcatburglar!!! NOE, wii wantz moar toonaz. Stoopy hoomanz goe tu stoar NAOW. Oar ELSS ai wil givyu mah POINTII INDZ>>>>
If yu luved me, yu wud have toona in heer. An yu wud giving it tu me.
Deer AbbyTabby,
.
Mai hoomin sumthymes comes howm smellig ob obber kittehs. Hao du I confrunt dem adn rip deir eerz off adn still get snorgled?
.
Supreme Empress Kitteh
O teh hyooj manatee!
I can assure you that I did not take the tuna.
.
*burps and swims away quickly*
lol-lol-lol!
brocolillies can do that 2 U, Mr. Vege-manateee
iz a troo tra jed ee!!
Hey Mutha Hubbard
ur cubbord be bare.
Do. Not. Want.
Dis sitchooashun iz unakceptabyle. U go stoar naow!
Aye sir! me iz gunna get toona and sumfin els!
ne1 likez cookies ?
yes pleez! u git cookiez & lotterie tikits &………maybee u shud maika lizt.
Anymul krakrs
Brekfust muffns
Choklit milk
D…
Devyled ham
Eggstra toona
Floofy blankits
Gushifuds!
H…..
Honeyed hamz
Inspiration fails me
J…
Jakked up toona
Krispee kreemes
Lobster meets
M…
Putting angelwaits bak up heer. . .
angelwaits
November 1st, 2008 at 8:44 am
Hugg peeza
Iyes creem, fer shur
Jello wiggleh
Kitteh fuds 4 awl
L . . .
Danke Sehr!!
Jack toona
Katch up 4 teh toona sammie
Lemon 2 putt awn teh toona
M…
M & Ms
New potatos
Oreos
Punkin pi
Queeche
R…
Rekwired amounts ob toona
Sammon kroketts
Toona flavured snax
U…
undersea cheez(via spongebob squarepants)
Veeniee snausagez
weeneeschnizel
xtre toona
yello cheez foar teh cheezburgers
zippee pikkels
I wuz only gunneh gawt sum toona & cookiez…
now iz too much fow me to reemambeh !
Ai wud sing butt ai cudnt kari a toona eben ef ai hab a baxet!
You cahn toona piano butt u cahnt toona fish!
Aneewun elze heer old enuff 2 member REO Speedwagon albumz?
Ai r… but ai hab been “heer” n “dere” awl day…
Yer cubberd needud moar cathairs, aifinkso. Yer welkum.
wat a pritty kittey, ai wud giv himz toona & anneefing elze him wanted!
My kitteh Bandit only eetz teh toona wif mayonaize. She not likz toona wifout teh mayo.
silee kiteh Bandit.
KTHAINXBAI!
Bandit haz u wel trayned ai see!
OMG U haz no idea!!! Me and da Bandit haz long hiztoree. My nuttee ex wifey tried to luz her 4 me. Hauled da Bandit off 20 milez awayz and drop her off in Georgia. We lives in TN bak den. Hopin da Bandit not come home. Week and a half later da bandit comez home YAY!! Da Bandit Crossed two interstates, two udder four lane roadz and the city of Chattanooga tu comes home !!! She wuz tired and vury hungeee. Da Bandit gotz lotz and lootz of Toona wif mayo.
Den aI takes her and we leavesz mean ole exwifey. YAY!! YAY!!!
Bandit getz wat Bandit wants frum den on.
Bandit b a berry speshul kitteh!!!! I so glad u tookinged deh cat and
lefting deh x wife. She b tu meen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yays! Happeh ending!!!
Mia aiz is leekin! Happi endin! Mebee ur xwif n mah xhubzand ken get togever… dey dezerb each ober.
u shud giv Bandit awl teh toona she wantz. toona adn lottsa snorguls adn lubs. hooray 4 bandit maeking it awl teh wai hoem 2 u. Boooo 4 meanie exwifey. Hip hip hoooorai 4 bandit.
{{{{{{bandit}}}}}}
Yur verree oen “Increditabul Jerney”!
18wheelsandakitteh!! Taht iz wun grate storee! But HAS skeeree to think she crosst two interstates an awl teh rest!
.
An hao wunderful taht yoo can haz yur prioritieez strait. PLEH awn th meen old exwifey!!
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Ai ai wud doo laik yoo an gib teh marvelous an brave an smart an lubbing Bandit enething hur liddle hart wud want!
.
Ov corse, ai do that eneway! Fur mai kittehs!
Hugg peeza
Iyes creem, fer shur
Jello wiggleh
Kitteh fuds 4 awl
L
Deer Abby Tabby,
.
Plz to be halping meh – ai has been a Flunky, liek FOR EBBER nao adn ai wus promised lebretee status, a lief thymes supply ob carrots adn a Flunky ob my own!
.
but but but, my TORmentor… she keeps hedbatting me awl ober teh plaice adn ai has tu keep Mick occu… oqu… ai has tu keep him bisee while she gets tu hold tihgns up tu teh lite…
.
is nawt fare, Abby Tabby! Whut shud ai du?
.
Fankies.
.
Signed: Worried, of Cheezland.
Deer Joe deh Warrior,
.
U needz tu asserting ur supremasea over dis TorMentor. Be a Maver Ick!
Showing hurr hoo iz deh boss! Yoo betcha!!
*wink!
.
Let mii noez how dat werkz fur ya.
.
Sarah Tabby,
Vice AbbyTabby
IMPOSTER! FAKE! PHONEY-BALONEY!
And u, Vice AbbyTabby, u also is not advise-lolumnist material.
Nao ai has a confoosed!
I haz rapped a fish in a newspaper.
Dat kwalif eyez mii to riting a kololum.
Adn thankz fer deh baloney! I lubz Joe deh baloney sammijez.
I can see baloney frum Alaksa!
I ben heering a lot a baloney frum Alaska.
derz baloney in Alaska?yuck,I HAET baloney! BTW, hou du u get teh
faces on ur coments? I’d liek 2 kno.PLZ PLZ!
If yur stil heer, klik awn cweenmj’s name . Hur blog haz sum helpurz fur us awn the left sied.
Lotsa baloney comin’ frum Alaska dese dayz.
Shudn’t a senator hav to noe how to keep trak ov hiz monies? And prezzies?
Ai finkso dat ennywun wud hab tu be krazy oar stoopid tu lib der. sum krukkee polly tishunz problee noze dat so goze dere tu taik ad vance age.
whut I is wundering when didz ignorance become a virchoo
I has no idear. (Sez LCB, virtuously)
Deer Worried,
.
Has u luk inna mirror latley? Nawt too be obvious here, butt ur a pinny gig. Kittehs spells dat P-R-E-Y (oar tehy wud if tehy did not type in lolspeak).
.
U has a surprise aobut hedbats? Be happitayl fings nawt wurse! (Oh, rite – no tayl onna ginny pig.)
.
Carolyn Horx
kittehs noase has
noaseliner. Liek teh eyeliner, ceptin on teh naose.
onlee a kitteh cud pullz dat awf.
We wud look redonkulus!!!!
Does this be teh availamable at teh Mary Kay?
*runs in sweaty and breffless*
Ohai! I iz late!
*luks around*
The storee teller must be late too.
Dan r u here?
guess knot!
*goes to take shower*
will czech back after.
*waits until leeza-b is in shower*
*flushes tollet*
*runsawayfast*
ah, one of teh troo joys uv life, a hot shower after a gud workowt…

Oh LCB u skamp!
How did u know I loves alternating teh hot/cold liek that?
Itz so… Finnish!
Or izzit Sweetish?
*Pulls LCB in2 shower*
*LCB koffs. Teh retainer she swallowed a few days ago shoots outta her mouf and rickoshays around teh shower stall then goes down teh drain.*
*LCB jumps outta shower because SHD and a few other mens is prolly havening too many fantasies about this shower thingy alreddy*
butt butt butt… itz good for ur cirk, surk, ur blood flows!!
*watchez LCB runnin for teh hills*
How un-cosmopollitan!
*detaches false drain, and retreeves teh platinom plaited dongle*
Far, Farfarfar too tired to fantasize.
Oh that IS tired.
Guess I wasted my munnies on this costoom.
found something for ya.
ooo really?? wot?
a goodly number of the audience came to the show in costume, some brought props. I have in hand, a plastic replica (read: toy) of a flintlock blunderbuss pistol. Officially the damnedest think I’ve found while clearing the barricade.
.
Seems to be just the thing for a pirate-y wench costume, yes?
oh yes!
shud I put it on then?
I akshully had gotted something else to wear. Nothing fancy… just a skool uniform. U knows… wite shirt, littul plaid skirt, knee sox, and teh patent leather shoos…
But sinse I hasn’t gotten it on yet, I can still be a piratey wench if u like!
*gets cold*
Guess I hasta decide.
*thinks thinks thinks*
*can’t decide*
*puts on piratey ruffle shurt, plaid skirt, wenchy boots, puts hair in brayds, adds I patch*
*picks up flintlock blunderbuss pistol and tucks in teh back of her skirt*
Da kostoom yu weared in da shour? Being berree careful abowt getting yur birfdai soot wet.
itz not waterpruuf?

and I fink teh warrantee’s xpired. uh ohs.
*britens*
hay, maybee it’ll shrink!
*runs to shower to see if birsday soot will shrink*
these OBTW’s are killin’ meh (Oh By The Way…….) be back asap.
I checked
U din’t put de cheezburgers in here
U can make some nao, plzkthx
Awwww . . . .
LOL!!! my cat lieks tuna..I tnk.
:’( I got a papr cut when I picked up my fav buk,it hurt!kiss it an maek it better! oops, did I embarass u?:-[ srry if I did.
ohai! for anyone following mai kitten saga…
today wuz a happy day! All teh kittens went to tehir noo homes.
And each purrson it seemed waz purrfectly sooted to teh kitten they got. Ifinkso CC had a paw in getting these kittens to their forever homes. I has such a happy for the kittens.. even tho I shedded a littul tear giving them up.
Fank yu{{{{{{ leeza}}}}} fur taiking care ub da kittehz.
Aaawwwww. I haz a sad happee wif u. Itz not eezee tu giving up deh babehz. But dey b habbing deh furebber homez adn dat b berry gud.
I raizing mai glass tu u!
Heerz tu Leeza-B, Hip, Hip, Hooray!
*blushes*
fanks mj. twern’t nuffin. I akshully felt bad I didn’t have more time to spend wif teh babbehs. They still had a littel scared. But they will be ok, ifinkso!
*clinks glass wif teh cween*
Yu dideded a mazing fing, Leeza, luking aftur teh kittens n finding tehm teh fureber homes. It been hard on yu sumtiems, lyk mommacat howlowlowling tu go owt, an sending teh bebbehs tu tehir nu homes. Yu be berry gud an lubing person, an ai glad ai knowing yu. {{{leeza}}}
dis be mah cat. and mah peektur.
kitteh carlisle ackturally in cup cabinet, so not a suprize that there be no toona.
Dat a bootifull cat indeed. U muss bee verreh prowd!!
hey,does no one EVER pay attention 2 mi?cum 2 my page an c my LOLs 4 free.I haz a kitten story 2.I gav up my project on ScratchTower Mag recently,so I’m starting another 1 instead.is abowt a cat who changes colour and style every dai.she lives in a pumpkin.
Wut abowt cheezburgers?