monorail cat employs
monorail cat employs emergency braking system
oh noes! plz nawt 2 braek sew hard.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: Gloria
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Screeeeeeech!!1!!
Oh boi, catslave!! wii haz a fore way ty wif Ladymondegren and … uh, wif u?!?!?! U must bab deh bery fast finnerz!! Letz chekking owt deh ty boot eek.
*Takes CS and Lady Mondegren bai deh handz and goez tu deh boot eek.
Oh luk at dat!!! Gibbocat haz sum kitteh garden flagz!! I’ll taking wun uv doze.
AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dats what the point endz make u Say!
Hai CWEENMJ!!!!
wear U B?
Hey, kan eye gits kopeez ob teh pichers U took ob US??
Oh Hai!! I just b working on dat rite now. Wheneber I thot uv downloading pics frum deh camra to deh puuter, wuz wen I wuz taking moar pix. got a hole munfz werth uf pics tu play wif.
Gawt yur sete belt awn gud?
Mono-Grail Kadd emplores
Emerge NC brake sissy Tim…
sissy tim wantz a noo jawb. dis wun iz nawt gud fore gettin teh ladees.
Pointy endz make 4 Quick stopz
“cept on linloleum or tile flurs
I no lik da wud flurs. Makes meh to goes nowhur wen I triz 2 run fast
ebberybuddy on dis fredd hassa magenta kwilt…
Iz a kozy kwilt to hab
YAY: hearz sum Deelishus possum-sighzed choclate 4 YOO
Dat sounds gud, wen I getz da choclates I hab enrgees 2 mak U a kozy magenta kwilt too hab of ur own. Iz gud for snugleez times
POSSUM-sized? OMCC! I hab seended possums bigger dan mah 22 lbs Buddy kitteh! Dats a LAWT ub choklit!
Buddy kitteh haz a large. One ub mai kittehs Baby be so hebby I can haz no picking up ub him nomoors. I glad tho’, sum bad hooman leb him in da alley wid a tite collar on dat wuz makin him not breefs, and now he be living large in da warm cozy home dat haz much gud noms. He libbin WAY large. We gives Noms to da kittehs dat libs in da outsidz too, den da possums cums out at dark and eetz all da lefobers. Den da skunks be next. Possum siz choklats be gud for long time noms. Doz possums be habbin sum big bodees. Den da tails be long 2. Dey has da pointy teefs 2.
{{{{{{{Beeg Babeh Kitteh and Kk4!}}}}}
Oh, ai seed a bunch ob ferel kittehz ’round midnite ’round the dumpsters behind McDonald’s and that strip mall. They come outs at nite and eet I guess. THere wuz a cupple of peppeh la-pew cats there 2 and they seem to naught mind reaach other. I hadda sad about teh pore kittehz. They woodn’t come up 2 mii, or let mii pet them….Nuthing can B done???
{{{{{{{pore abandoned kittehz}}}}}}}
Dis gibs me a fierce. Iz so sad for kittehs to no hab da happies life wid da nice hoomanz wid good noms nd cozy sleep placez. Iz hard to da eyes to see dat. Der be sum ebil hoomanz dat maks da kittehs have a scared nd den da baby kittehs no comes round to da gud hoomans for 2 get cozy homes and much gud noms. Iz sad. Tree mai kittehs be basements cats, cuz da peeples so meanz to da pore black kittehs, 2 of dem was strays wid no cozy sleepz place nd no noms for dem. I lubs dem so much. Baby sum happy boy nau. Dis wy I be habbin da 4 kittehs in da haus, den da 2 kittehs dat gets noms in da outsidez, dey hab to go to kitteh dr 2 cuz doze outside kittehs had da sick, but dey libbing large 2. Dis be 6 kittehs for meh nau. Dey so hab da happies, so dat be gud thing.
oh yippee, sowry I didn’t see this last nite.
Teh feral kittehs can be domestikated, but onlee if u get teh kittens at a very yung age, abt 5 weeks or so. After that tis harder, b/c they is basically wild anominals. Some of them u can gets to trust u and some never will. But if u really wants to do soemthing, czech in ur area for a TNR program. That’s ‘trap neuter release’. Dey halps u get teh wild kittehs fixted at a low cost (I pays a flat $20 a cat for fixting and they also gives rabies and distemper shots) , then u takes them back to where u cotted them. It duzznt make life easier for them, (altho when u takes this on, u’r sposed to assume a roll as caretaker and make shure they has teh fuds and hopefully some kind of shelter), but it stops tehm from reproducing, and therefore there will be no more noo homeless kittehs. {{{{{yippee}}}}}
{{{Yays}}}} for da leeza-b U can callz da Feral Cat Society, oer watebber in ur townz, dey kom nd trap all kittehs for da free nd gib dem da shotz and for da wurms and gibs dem da fixez so dey no habs da bebehs. Here in sandiego dey duz a little snipz on one ub da kittehs earz so dat ebbyun noes dat kitteh no needz for to be trapzd no mor. Kittehs lib out der libes wid no be bodderd by da kitteh katcher.
tehy do seem to color cooorinate don’t tehy?
Teh otter day seemed liek everyone wuz burple.
I is from Emerjensee Hug Servis
Here to help u
Nawt wid the pointy endz out!
Oh, DR! I didn’t seeing u down here, Kum tu deh tybooteek wif us!! U kin habbing ur choys v enneething u see dere. Kitteh ju-ulreez, windchimez snowglobez, enneefing a tawl.
Duz it hab sumfing too enshur dat teh wurld duz not go to hail in a handbasket?
I lookeeng furr dat. Yah.
I wants a majik shiny spase helmit
Wit lites
oooooooo
mee too~!
jazz hands!
Jazz Fase
Oooooeee! Catslabe gawtz tye in nawt secund spawt. Wutz we awl wantz at da tye boot eak tudai? nawt leftobur halloween candeez, fur shur.
“Leftobur”?
Whut’s that?
Is the munth between Octover and Nomember? LOL
*shakes hed, gets LCB, catslave and teh lad all wet*
Isn’t this a holiday?
Teh Day of teh Ded, rite?
Maybee we shud has something approprate for that?
*wonders wot that wud be*
Should we mabye start cuttin’ wires?
ai’ll run up teh litning rod….
…
altho ai thot today wuz awl sayntes day….
How many living saints does u knoes?
Aside from me, that is.
wun (janet), too (cweenmj), free (leeza), fore (dk), five (crazyturkey), sicks, seven, ate…. maneeny, lawts…
…
lawts uv living saints… and lawts uv angels too! ai feelz soooo blesst!
Ha! HA! Ho! Ha! hooo! Ha!! Hee-hee!! ha!
*wiping teerz frum iiz*
Mii?!?!?!?! A saint?!?!?!?!
*collapsez in kwivvering heep onna floor.
*laffterz adn giglolz escaping at randum intervalz
wutz so funnee? *confuzzled fase*
oh! ai forgotted annipuss, an tidmum, an tribble, an rhsb, an (nawt shure wether maus is a saint ore a devil ore both)…
duz that meen there is littul statchoos uf us for sale in teh Catican?
Prolly bobblol heded wunz
Ail B sicks!
(butt ai rather B wells! Wii naught awlwayz git 2 chews thees fings, tjpigjt)
*sigh*
Ai finkso in Mesico dey etez sum kukkeez shape liek boanz.
Iz da dai ub da ded… or awl saints dai, dependin awn hao won worshps CC.
maybee we cud do bofe?
eet bone shayped cookies AND cut wires?
*gets wire snips*
Ware r they?
abbles left from bobbin
Beast steak tormatoes
Queem ub Chicken soop
D…
shud have been ‘Cweem ub Chicken soop’
Cween of Chikken soop???
Oh noes!
Cween! Speek to us!!
mmmmm…….dis sauna smellz hevenlee…..and it b nice and creemy…. gud fur dhe kumplexyun……
*smearz sauna juus awl ober deh fais adn rubbingz it in deh elbonez.
but r u sposed to has carets in ur sauna?
Sauna wif nomz!!! wut kud b bedder?
dog-nutz
eeeek-layerz
figgy-pudding…
Green eggz an hamm,
hot-cross bunns,
juu-joo-bees,
STAAAAAWWWWWWPPPPPP!!!
I’z gonna hork up bwake flooid!
all teh way from the bottom uv ur chassie?
ai guys i iz teh roflcat. so how u doin? dis sit iz soo sofisticated. ai uin et laif =)
OH NOES!!!!!!!11!!!! Wat you mean we out ub cheezburgers?!!11!!!!!!!11
Kinda luks like if he’d stopted any later he’d ub falled off teh ledge!
yeah…Bee Kare-Free:
teh whirld is flat!!!
an rides upon teh bakks uv fore jiant turtlols and a lelolfant!
yah wohl! (an whut about Atlas?)
Monorail kitteh also uzin his horn too! AAAAaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!
Hay Guiz, Cheezfrens and ebberybuddy!
My necks dower nay-buhr is NUTS!!
1. Hurr friggin daugs bark (their’s tree ob dem–aifinkso, butt sounds like more!) bark and howl awll DAY—there haus is owtsyde my bedrume window, an ai kant sleep…Ai is tired from that LUpey w00lf!)
2. Win shee kums home, she lets them out to “go poddy”, then she screems at dem…Sounds lyke a mane-ee-akk…Shee screetches “JACK,JACK, JACK: GO PODDEE) Then sreeks at dem 2 come in teh haus—if I wuz dem (and I Fank Ceeling Kat, dat I arent) I wood NAUGT kume in–I’d run as friggen far az eye kook!!!
Ur pointy ends, show dem to hur
I knot meened 2 putt awl in BOWLED
butt she deserves it.
wut 2 dew, wat too doo,
Seems hopeless, butt I wood start hear:
1. “bark collerz” for teh dawgs
2. Anger management 4 teh wommin (an sebberal yrs ob profeshinal counseling)
3. In-home dawg training by a professional.
.
On second thot, jess move AWAY!!!
.
(should I notify teh home-owners assoshe-nation or
2. teh Pooleez?)
Hoomanz lik dat needz 2 hab swimmy fishes nd not dawgs. Dem all iz gud ideas mebbe her needz shock collar for u 2 hab remote 2. I tinks ur last ideas be gud uns. Dese dawgs can’t b happy dawgs, and not fair 4 U edder. Mebbe sum one tell her how 2 b better hooman and nabor.
Ai gree wif kerrykatz… Ai wud kontak da assoshe nation nawt second. If dey nawt du somfink rite way (lik wifin a week), ai’d start cawlin da powees. Dis mai soun dum, butt hab you tri tawkin to moufy nay-boor? If nawt, mebbee triez dat nawn second. Eef seh realy horibible, mebee nawt.
Dats my two headbonx
If nun of dat werks den I suggest a paint bawl gun. Werks wunders on barky goggies and mouthy nayburrs.
Wut color to paintz da goggies?
Ai usez flourscent pink…after checking wif teh V.e.t. As long as you nawt hit dem in teh faec or the sawfty belly they not be hurted.
U has my simpathees kitkay. I has had this problem befores.
*gnashes teefs finking about it*
Actually I has it again, someone nearby has a dog that’s bin barking sinse Friday nite. *groan*
Anyways… everyone said to go to teh naybor furst, well ppppbbtht! on that! He was rood and uncooperative, so I had to get teh police involved. So I wud try to remane anominuss. Go to teh HOA furst, and if they can’t halp, teh poleese. But it will be hard. If she is feeding tehm and giving them watters, itz hard to get anyfing done. Even if she is teh meen. {{{{{{kitkay}}}}}}
I haz a ponder…why deze dogs not be gettins sor throats? I not haz un next dor (dis a gladness 4 meh) butz one down da street dat makes da barking noiz all da times. I allus be pondrin wy dese dawgs no be gettin tireds frum da barking all da day long. Den same dawg duz da barkings wen dey shulds be habbin da sleepz time. Wen dis dog be habbin da sleepz times?
Bark collar on teh naybor.
U kud leeve dem a Passib aggressib note.
We awl lub animools and I’z shure ur goggies r nise,
but kud u plz to nawt screem at dem?
Is reellee reelle varee anoyeeng.
KTHNKSBAI!!!
Pee ess…..
Ifn it doant stawp I cawl teh atho…etho… CAWPS!!!!!
Ur neybor to neber be naymed.
Dis be gudz idea. Mebbe dis ladee hab no cluz for da noizez in da daytims nd mebbe she be to feelz a bad for 2 yellinz so laud dat poor nabors can heerz her.
I gladz I not be habs hur for mai hooman. I no likz to be screemd at to make mai pottees.
How ’bouts dis won: “Bailee, GIT out ob their!!! Bailee!!!!! BAILEE!!!!!BAILLEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I haz a hapee that I not bailee. I be habin a tinks dat if I was Bailee, I be makin mai ears to be not be hearin dat voice wut sounds like a screem all da timez. Um, if I be Bailee, I mite do some potties on da floor cuz da crazee ladee gonna do da screems anywayz. Den she gotz a reason for da loud hoomin screems dat hurt mai ears, and I can haz a pottie timez dat are quiet
Oh my…My goggie barks tooo…
But onlee jus a lil bit…
But himz iz lawd..
but awl mah neybors lub himz.
Cuz himz a 95 pawnd ahweetie!
Ur dawg has 95 paws???
If I wuz habbing da 95 paws I be barking 2 cuz I be allus goin in da circles
tee, hee, hee!
Mebbe da goggies next doors be habbin too many paws, wuld be hard to makes da pottys wen der are so many paws. But day cud dig many gnarly goggie holes under da fences to run away from da loud lady wit da yellings voices
Oh, kitkay, you cracked me up!!
We has teh RUH RUH dog next door.
Wehn we moobed in I was jussss settling down in mah bed in mah new room. It
r dark an I am bowt to driff off to sleepyland and I hear dis voice.
ruh ruh ruh ruh ruh.
Sownded like a VERY BORED cereal killer right outside my window doing a very
bad imitation ub a dog juss too make me we mah pants beefore he getted me.
Like he rolling his eyes wile doing teh imitation and say all bored and sarcasmicull, ‘yeah, yeah, scream
now while I killz you.’
Oh, gurrrrl dat scared teh libbin joos owtta mee. Turned out to bee dat dummy
little goggie. Sooo weerd. I nebbur herd a bark like dat. Is a low bark, not high pitched, too, an him juss a little cute doggie.
Finallee, mah daddee gotted smart! He putted up a thing outside dat silently
discouraged teh doggies frum barking. We almost nebber hear it no mores. YAY. Dey onlee barks wen it r impportant, I guess.
Wat dat magikal thing be called for to stop da bark noiz?
I willz ask. Mah daddee, hee has teh Garummph Syndrome tho, so it may
bee teh sarcassmicull or nuffing ansur.
Keep fingurs, toes, paws, hoofs crossed.
oh kafleen, I iz LMAO!
ruh ruh ruh ruh…
rut roh!
I deffinuttlee had teh Rut Roh look on mah face wen I hurd it!
ohai Kafleen.
U is up late!
And I is up erly. Wif a relevince.
Teh rassin frassin dog behind me woked me up at 6.
*grumbles abowt this being the onlee day she can sleep late*
well den. Heer.
*u juss sit dere in ur bed and I beez rite back*
*plumps leeza-b’s pillol*
Donkey returns wiff a grate big tray!
Wiff Tea, and Coffee, and Joos!
An creemy cheese, an scones, an…
Warm Waffles!
And froot furr teh waffles!
wiff nuts!
and wippy creem!
an a flower in a vase!
Heer. I helps u eet it. Cuz I r helpfull dat wai.
>ais watterin<
kafleen, ai iz bery bery amooozed!!
har, hardy, har, har, kafleen! I wood lyke 2 use such a bark-retarder, but Aifink so it naught werk win tehy beez in there haus. I dunno Y dey knot gits teh sore throught, or why Mrs. Kray-Z laydee not gits it eether!
PS, I lubs goggies, 2! Wii be missing our dear ole yeller Labby! Got a little orangy kitteh, butt R wunnerful grown up Tabby naught lyke hurr. 2 bad, I keeps dem BOFF!!!
I lubs da goggies 2, dats wy dis ladee needs to get gripz on her lifez. Her be a ebil wommin hu shud not be habbin goggies. I beenz habbin da 6 kittehs, tree of dem been da homeless unz dat we haz to rescoo frum da ebil hoomanz who no care bout dem. mai kittehs and me be hopin dat dis ladee can no more be doin da screems at her goggies. Her gives us da mad faces in da haus here
Poor goggies.
Dey are such childlike souls, lubbeeng
uncondishunallee. It r so sad wen peepulls wutt not deeserbs dem has
dem. I console mahself bah noeing dey all goes back to teh Happy Place
in teh end.
*sniff*
fangs 4 nyse comet, kafleen! Ai bleef U hassa rite. Ai hassa happeh no-ing dat my swete goggeh is dare on teh other syde wating 4 mii!
it wurks!
A stretchi….Ai has it!
“O hai, Mawnurayl Kat. Hao doez m-urgensee brayks wekin?”
“Naw sew grayt akshuleeeeeeeeeeeeeee……….”
::zoom::
::kTHUD!::
..
…
….
help me!
LMAO! I don’t know why but this made me laugh for like 5 straight minutes.
mee two!!
Dis is end ov liine. Plz ecksit cat nd waet fur cat n othur der…dirr….way.
i kant bleev nobuddee haz sed dis yet, so I guess I will haz tu.
.
Pinkee pinkee toe pads!!! WPE (Wif Pointy Endz)
*caper, caper, prance
I lubz da pinky toe padz. Mai kittehs haz pinky/or blaks (cuz I haz lotz of basement kittehs) toe padz wid long furz comin out of dem tween da toez. Dey no like the furz on da toes to be tickled. Dat gibs dem da angy earz dat goez back so der faces luks like arrowheads. Den dey must do kickies on me so dey are da winners in da play battles.
joyns cween in
>pinkee pinkee tow pads dans<
*prans, caper caper*
*shake taht tale fevver*
*puts pointy en on top uv cween’s hedd*
*cween rotates on teh spot*
pinkee pinkee
Datz be da fun danzs
AAAAHHHHH! DINGO HAZ MAI BAYBEE!
Brakes no work!
Nooo mommz! Dun goes! De man in de wyte cote iz heer!
OMG, dat’s mah cat b4 I boughts him. No….realliez.
SEE?!?!?!?!
Or you know, you could see if the image had stayed when I posted.
Nekomimi Shinkansen?
Point of monorail cat is that no legs visibl.