with softener no softener
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Cheezburger Network Blog
not bownce. POWNSE!
I can has static guard?
U can has!
*pownses on shuko*
Continuing where I left off yesterday:
A group of legionnaires strode through the scorching desert.
They hadn’t had water for three days and hadn’t eaten for a week but they did not crack, and kept marching solidly on. Suddenly one of them froze, “Psssst” said he. His companion halted, and strained their eyes to where the first legionnaire was pointing.
“Le voila”, said he, “Regardez, mes amis, isn’t zat a bacon tree on ze ‘orizon”? And sure enough, there it stood, proudly and defiant in the middle of the desert, a true bacon tree.
Slowly they crept forward towards the mystery object far off. Inch by inch, centimetre by centimetre, until they were within a stone’s throw of the bacon tree.
Even nearer they crept, and suddenly, a shot rang out, dropping one of the legionnaires in his tracks. The other legionnaires hit the ground as bullets thudded into the sand around them. The other two returned fire, and gave first aid to their wounded companion. Even as they bandaged him, they could hear his faint voice –
“Zat was no bacon tree,” he gasped, “Zat was an ‘am bush.”
*the groan heard rownd teh whirled*
Hahahahaha*groan*hahahahaha*groan*hahaha!
*Iz pownsed upon*
Maus, ur punny tails make meh laff discreetleh. I haz a soft spot fur puns, but so few peeple appresh… apreeci… enjoy dem. :3 Why do peeple grone and mone wen dey here a pun? Why?
I too lurves a pun. I copied an pasted dat wun an e-mayleded it tu mah frens at wurk.
Thanks guys. At least you didn’t stick me up on a tower like LCB did yesterday
It’s erlee yet….
When did that happen? I mist it.
And anyways, I thot the groan was part of teh hole pun ritual.
Ohai! Plz tu c daon teh fred fur teh Cat Faeries linkee. hoap it helpz. kthxbyee
*looking woozy*
faux Frahnsch and Yurpean splellings…
*opportunity knocking on maus’s hows 0 jokes*
hmmmmm. i need to get my piano tuned…any recomnomations?
Trolling for puns, eh? OK…
A family owned a beautiful piano, but it needed tuning. They hear of a terrific piano tuner in town named Opporknockity. They call, he comes, and he tunes the piano quickly and precisely.
A year later, they decide to have it tuned again, and call Mr. Opporknockity. They tell him how happy they were with his last job, but he replies, “I’m sorry, but Opporknockity tunes but once.”
*Starts playing “Chopsticks” berre lowdlee to blok owt ennee odder puns*
lol
lol 
lol 
these look EXCACLY like my cats autumn and pookie
hey, who you callink a troll! i just create opporknokitees for da court jesters to entertain the cween and her court. and the peasants who are revolting.
oh, and by the way, DeanieeBaby, denise’s kitteh, chews shoes…we’re finking of sending off to Roy’s rehab ranch …
ifinkso wood be cheaper to sendim on a train, maybe the one that goes thru Chatanooglol?
Is this the one you’re looking for?
Many years ago, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans had a problem with a mountain lion. This lion had cost Roy and Dale a number of head of cattle, but what really got Roy’s attention was one night the big cat crept onto the front porch of their house and mangled Roy’s brand new cowboy boots, which had been left outside overnight. That was the final straw. Roy saddled up Trigger, called his faithful dog Bullet to his side, and rode off to find the mountain lion. He found the lion and shot it and tied the carcass across Trigger’s back for the ride home. As he rode up to the house, Dale, who was sitting on the porch, said, “Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”
Ai am not revolting!!!!
.
Otay, mebbe ai du need a showr…
O, I lubs me some puns, make no mistake, but I has a vry low tolerance for teh long, artificial setups. I prefer natually occuring, on-the-spot punnage. Plus I’ve heard those old stories all about elebenty kabillion times.
Now Maus, u knoes I lubs u, rite? I mean, nobuddy can handle teh debriefing cart like u can and I admire that. So u’ll take it teh rite way I hope when I says that merely repeating those hoary old stories verbatim wifout adding ur own spin on them is not quite up to teh iron pyrite standard of creativity that u has otherwise shown urself to be capable of. That’s why u hads to be locked up. It was for ur own good, rly.
Well, ours, too. Teh staff carpenter is going to be bizzy repairing all teh dented desks.
You’re right, as usual, LCB. But I did have some fun dredging the old stories out. But now it’s time to put them back to bed. Thanks to all for your tolerance…
Oooh, Maus is nawt onlee funnee, he’s humble too!
*swoom*
“swoom” = a moony swoon
Did somebody debrief you today?
Erm – rn’t yoo bizee rehersing teh ballay?
akshully, i lieks teh story, wif the bildup an tehn teh payoff. i likes trying to figyur owt wut teh pun iz going to be at teh end. i finked yor stories were very funny, an if yoo eber need to get wun owt ob yor system, i’ll lissen.
true DAT shuko*powncing on starling*
Congrats Leeza, er, SG awn tawp ov brayde! Shall wii haz sum brayded breds ov awl typez? Wif cawfeez?
ohai ZF!
Fanks, I is hassing hot choklit this am! Want sum?
psst, zf why is leeza incognito?
oh 2k, u didn’t know it wuz me??
I had a trouble last week. WP decided it didn’t want me to post anymores as Leeza. At least at werks. At home I can. Go figure.
So I hadda get a noo email address and set myself up as a whole noo poster.
WordPress protekshun program
Leeza has it
no I didn’t knoz
I guess I missed it!
ohai an how beez gummi and her sistahs
an Ur nu kitteh fambly
Gummi is ok, but the sistahs r still being meen to her.
At least once a week I come home and she’s got a slash sumwheres…. yesterday she had one all teh way acorss the brij of her nose. *sigh*
I despare of tehm ever getting along…
I tries to make myself bloo so u can see teh pix.
*hoping the WP gods don’t smite me*
Hay! U r bloo!!!!!! An duz u noez abowt Catfaeries? They can haz good stuffz tew hepl kittehz get alawng.
Noes! What’s Catfaeries???
Plzthzomgineedhalp
Mebbe dis 2nd poasting? Heer is likee fur teh Cat Faeries http://www.catfaeries.com/
i love KITTENfairies they love KITTENS just like i do
Conga Ratz Leeza & Maus – adn Zauberflolute, duz u b habbin pupmermikl brayded bred? Adn lawtz and lawtz ob teh kafe ole`? (Oen tiem sumoen at a lolkal kofee plas spelleded “au lait” as “ole`” — ai fout ai wud dei laffinging!!)
Tango, aneeoen?? Ole`
if I but knew how. that or a waltz.
wot abowt a 2-step?
I have this vision of elegantly dressed to the nines, moving with grace, power and purpose. Two entities, one body with four legs. I saw a couple dancing with that kind of link. Older couple Cajun two-stepping at Mulates at Breau Bridge (just outsida Red Stick (Baton Rouge)). I was jealous.
I knoz, I has seen sum older couples dancing too,
graceful an elegant
wish I could dance like dat..
mebbeh I goes an takes some dance classes
unfortunately Mr two_kittehs has two left feet
*grabs Dan by teh hands*
*twirls him rownd the floor*
*kwik kwik slow slow*
*kwik kwik slow slow*
*turns rownd in the corner*
*music stops*
*Leeza curtsees*
*luks around, sees that peepl r jealous of Dan, smiles*
Ahhhh, such bee-yootifullz dansdans. I b jello. Um, jelluss.
ya gotta have much talent. any time der be summove dancin’ wit me and gettin luks of jealousy and not……….pity, yerrr dooin’ quite well…..lass.
*blushes*
I’m shure ur not that bad.
I alway hears that if u can ‘drink Dr. Pepper’… then u can dance.
*howling with laughter* do we have a new variant to “paying the mortgage”?
Ifinkso!
load-in begins, be back later…….hopefully
¡Kawfay olè!
Now wif deh charging bullz!
.
And deh cute boiz wif deh tite pantz?
‘k. … I goez tu deh Nawtee Barn now.
i can has deh cute boiz tew?
*smile*
maik room in deh Nawtee Barn for me, Cween!
*maiks roomf fur deh cute boiz tew!*
hahahaha ai b rite inna Nawtee Barn wif u bof.
same here Karen
lol that makes me think of
like ‘bownce’
should have a cat with detergent
instead of bounce
haha!
oh and btw that cat is gorgeous. the fluffy one.
Floofy and silkee
Teh kitteh onna lef lookz liek mai Vergie – teh kitteh ober teh bridj las Januberry.
Aw Karen I sorry. Kitteh awn rite looks lyke mai Willie, ober teh bridge bowt 8 yrs ago.
Fankies. Dat’s OK nao – but iz niis 2 b finkin abut teh lawst bebbees 2 ‘membr teh lubz.
Yoo both haz gorjuss behbehs – these ar kyoot kittehs! Luv those tabbeh strypes.
Teh wun on teh rite is moar lyke mah Dexter. He haz whyt pawz tho. Hiz hayrs ar reelee reelee short, but hez starting to fuzz up a tynee bit sinc teh whether got kolder. He wuz borned in April and haz never eggsperienced snow or winter. Iz phun being ther fur so menneh “fursts.”
Ohai, Gremin ! Haow yoo b liekin da married life? is mr.remlin kumin
hoem 2day? haow hebe feelin ?
Mr. Gremlin, I meant
Ohai, um, sofar is . . . lonely. Wayting fur teh fone to ring to tell me if I kan go bring teh noo Mr. hoem today. If not today, then tomorry. Hez bin feline mush beddur. Thank yoo fur asking.
that ar gud newz
best wishes to Uz boff
{{{{gremlin}}}}
Yay! Mr. Gremlin iz better! Mr. Gremlin iz comin home soon! Sorry about teh lonely — can yr kitteh help w/some hugs n snorgles? An cheezpeeps iz here for you, too (sort of).
Blow dry… no blow dry…
wid speshul shampoo that adds body to your furz
if Uz our shampoo U will has bouncy long luxurious furz
order now fur elbenty dollarz for two botlols
Ai fink 2 mutsh sofner
butt sofner smellz sew gud
butt sofner sownds not sew grate, ackshully.
ai fink u need goe baek to deh naughty barn, leeza; ;- 0
Leeza?
*blank luk*
um,
changin the subjectnot to be changin the subject but have u notissed that almost all teh noo peeps r purrple lately? I wonder if WP is makin a fashion statemint.Ai haz allerjee 2 sum purrfumez an sum fabrick sofner maeks me weezee
hubcat getz allergiez from fabrik softenerz
so I no uzes dem
Ai haz finded wun heer in TTI dat haz naturul fings init an dat iz gud fur me.
what ar deh brand nayme
mebbeh I gets it in teenee tinee mareeland
Anser gotted into Sparkysmoms post. Sowwy!
Ohai, Anni ! I reeded da ziting artikel inna times bowt ichc, and saw
yoo init ! Hoaw did dat happen ? wuz da riter at da famous Londen
cheezmeet ?
btw: Ai thot da big cheez wuz gonna send us pics an storee ob da
big meet? but Ai neber seed n e fing frm himz?
It’s cawled “Ecover”. Dey maek lotsa eco frendlee cleenin stuff
Ohai Sparkysmom. Teh Cheezburger rekignized me at teh big cheezmeet coz Ai wared a badj wiv mai abatar awn, an affer teh meet him sended me an emeow 2 sai he had gibben mai emeow addie 2 teh man frum teh papur an Ai gotted teh emeow frum teh reporter an anserd hims kwestyunz.
Ai haz putted 4 pics frum teh meet awn mai profiel – clikk awn mai blu naem 2 see dem.
I don’t see dem…
iz I blind now? Invisibul was bad enuf!
Ai can see dem – dey aer teh nawt sekund 4 pics in “My Pictures”
Anni an two-kittehs, yu mite wanna try putting a half cup uv wite vinegar in teh rinse cycle. It cuts teh sope rezzidue an any minerals in teh water.
before wash after wash
no static cling
big hair kitty got too much downey
yesh, she very downey & snuggl-ee, too
no starch n wif starch?
with hare club & wiffowt hare club –
“im nawt jest teh pressiedunt imma memba”
Duz he or duzzint he? Onlee hiz hayr dresser noes fur shor . . .
80s kitteh an 90s kitteh
.
*yawn* Ai can has strong tee, plz? Nebber been abul tu lyk kawfee, but mebbe ai need tu akwire taste.
they have Tazo Earl Gray in Catering, ya want one while I’m down there gettin anudder for meself?
Dan, iz u still up since yesterday night werkin 2 shows at wunst?????
not working two shows at once, it was a matter of loading the show out, then restoring the seating in the house for the show the next…….er, later. and let me tell ya it was much like trying to belly-crawl across flypaper.
I noez sumbuddee u wud lyke– stayge mgr for mai old jobz wif a simphony orkestra. The hall got closded, an teh orkestra played in 3 diffrent churches foar teh ‘Masterwerks” series. Each church hadda have a different stage dezynded an bilt. Sew– Friday put up 2nd Pres stayge, then dissasseble an put awn truck. Sat 1st Presby, ditto, Monday 1st Baptist ditto. An there wuz prolly a runout awn Sunday, juss tew keep him bizzy…..
Mmm, Earl Grey, yesplzthx. I dunno hao yu survive wif teh skedyul yu haz fur wurking, shd. Wud kill me inna week.
Himz still a bebbeh, sew him can handlz it.
Ah yes, ai ‘memember habbin teh beeg hayres.
Teh hole inna ozoan layur wuz cawsed bai awl teh AkwaNet wii used, aifinso.
an shouldah pads
there was a saying in these parts “the higher the hair–the closer to god.”
Dey still wares teh beeg hares in Texus, doan tehy?
not so much really. of course some of us don’t really have a choice. I have to tie mine nine ways to sunday when onna scooter. else it looks like a family of enraged squirrels have staged a successful attack on mai head.
*snicker*
U gotta luuk owt 4 tehm skirlols, speshully if tehre Leeza’s swirlols – tehy iz extry crazee.
if anny body sees the donkey, I’ve got a halloween card somebody sent me last year that has her name all over it. would it be legal to scan and post it here?
we won’t know until you tries it…so, go ‘head, lessee wot happinz!
i think dat came fwom deh big hairied baptists down der. i
originalality from San Antonio.
**whispurrs** Ai tooked mai dryvurs test in parashoot pantz, a red oxfurd clof shurt, an a twist beed neckliss!
Ob coarse, it wuz 1984….
Mai fashun sense, let mi show u it!
Rhsb!!!!!! I glad tew see u!!!! I haz tew go, but I want u tew noez I been thinkin ov u awl this tyme!
Fanz, ZF! Ware has u been?
{{{{zf}}}}
♪♫♪♪♫ Springsteen, Madonna, Way befoar Nirvana, Tehre wuz U2 an Blondie
An mooziks still awn Em-Tee-Vee ♪♫♪♪♫
80’s musik good (then and now)
80’s clothes not so good (at least in retrospect)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dMmNcT3ouo
Ai luvs tihs vidyo.
hey if we can haz 150K fur clothses we canz look lyke fashun plates 2
Has u seen teh noo Victoria’s Secret Holiday bra? It haz diamonds an rubies, and costs $5 million!
Ifn ai hads $5 million, ai cud finks ov sumfin bettur 2 do wif it tahn contain “teh gurls”!
I agreez completely, what a waste of munnies
fink how many cheezburgers kittehs can haz for that
not only that…. how long wud u have it on??
5 minnits, itz on teh floor.
Iz nawt lyk it be sumfing yu can showing off…
er, most playses, ennyway… It nawt gunna be cumfee, it nawt gunna be fur peeps tu see, so what be teh poyntee-end uv it?
Cat on right still wet. See her/him is dripping?
Cat on left is dry and ready for the cat show.
Floofy Kitteh!!!! WANT!!!!!!
Introdusin teh noo softenur, comin soon 2 a stoer neer u: “SNORGLE”
Snorgle fabrik sofner FTW!!!!
dis beez da funinist stuffz…ohai mee haz kittehs…mee-mee n teo
ohai, ami! i haz 2 lolbunz- dey r sisterz
dahling, hoo duz ur floof? itz gorjuss!
fank u. ai has a hoomin hoo kumz n 2x a weak. she’z knot 2 brite but she’z gud.
can I has her number I needz to make an appointment
You is all so funneh, I laffs and laffs gets stink eye frum teh boss! I has too mutch sofetener liek kitteh #1. NO WANT. Pls want sleek like no softener kitteh but ceiling cat give me teh fluffies. Next life pls ceiling cat give NO Fluffies this kitteh. thxba
<^..^<
U can use flat ironz to make hairz sleek that ar what I does
Floofee Kittteh lubz
t3h feengurz inz himz fur, wyle
Sleek Kitteh lubz t3h
lawwwnnng abdz slow chinz rubz.
Sleek Kitteh awllso seemz 2
purr mutch lowdurrer
Floofee Kitteh maykz
eksellent chesst wawrmurr, wyle
Sleek Kitteh lykes feetz
Jack.
luv meh sum Jack Deth poomz!
kitteh luks leik he come out of da salon, nice shiney furz, luks like e mite b going 2 a partee of sumfing
That was one of the pictures I posted of Kitty (Fluffy) and Diablo (No Softener) before Diablo passed away (March 08). I check this daily and was surprised to see them, but it made me smile and I am happy others appreciate what a good looking kitteh he was.
(Sorry I can’t do the LOLspeak)
he sures wus a pritty kitteh, RIP Diablo – he be in kitteh heven laffin at teh lols nao
Thank you, he was. I misses him terribly. Kitty lovers understand.
diablo’s mom,
email me at groovyfaery@juno.com and i’ll send you a pic of my sebastian (fluffy) and simon (no softener) the resemblence is scary…. even our carpet is the same!
My household every day…
Person who posted this picture! Please tell me, did you adopt these kitties from a humane society in Fargo, ND? They look just like too kitties we had to give up. I hope they found a happy home… maybe with you?
okay… who posted this pic? because the picture is a spitting image of my 2 cats. exactly… in fact it looks like my carpet too. i am kinda freaking out
Susan and Laura P look @ post above ‘Diablos Mom’
ok I was thinking the same thing–These cats look like my 2 boys and my carpet. ok now more than one person has cats like mine.
The cat on the left looks EXACTLY like my cat, Murphy, down to the little white (declawed!) paws.
I got Murphy from the NN SPCA in 2004 (or 5?) when she was age 7. Her previous owners called her Tippy, and she had a Fort Eustis rabies tag on.
Thar ar BOATH kyndz at ar haowss! *SMILES*
*CRIES OVER SAD MOUNTAIN LION STORY. WISHES IT WASN’T ON ICHC! BAD MAN! DO NOT LIKE!*
i cat i r no um oh yes i r cat we r the 1s who wll kll all teh homnos muhahahahaha!!!!!!!
ha ha ha thats funey make more
lol! that is so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that is hilarious