Tragically, due to Buster’s less-than-stellar
Tragically, due to Buster’s less-than-stellar mental capacities, the spoon bent him.
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: DOOMbudgies
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Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
There is no spoon
The matrix iz nawt reel.
Basement Cat nawt gud at trix.
that’s because Trix are for kids.
Silly wabbit!!
Sorry. I have to do this:
Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called Trids. The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived on the mountain. The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids.
The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him. They thought one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary. So a group of Trids and their minister went up the mountain and before they could even say one word the ogre kicked them down the mountain. Not being dismayed the Trids thought that maybe the ogre was Catholic, so they sent another delegation, this time led by the local priest. But alas, as they approached the ogre he once again kicked them all down the mountain.
The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the ogre was Jewish. Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they wrote to the people of another land and asked them to send a Rabbi to help them with the ogre. The Rabbi arrived and led a delegation of Trids up the mountain. The ogre saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the mountain. The Rabbi, having been told of the previous expeditions, wondered why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the ogre. The ogre laughed and replied:
“Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!”
*heddesk* *heddesk* *heddesk* *heddesk*
Sorry. I have to do this:
*drags Maus away to a holding cell, high atop a high, high, tower and guarded by a Rary*
*does not allow Maus to make an obscene clone fall*
Whu… wha… what did I do?
*produces a voluminous typewritten list*
Accessory to a braking and entering an grand theft pom-pom
Brandishing of Zippo, wif intent to cause scorching
Causing cranial contusions due to heddesking
D…
*wayving wun uv teh elebenty copies uv teh list*
Dousing peeps wiv seltzer,
Elementary particle physics, tinkering wiv,
Frowing pies,
G…
Googloling starDrek episodes
Halping make ShakNBake Chikkn
Insisting on debriefink
Juxtaposishuning un related stuffs
K…
Grousing without a license
Harboring known feline fugitives
Insiteing riots due to groanable storeess
J….
Jewish rabbi, taking dem up mownten tu see ogres
Kahootin wit LCB
L…
Laffin whyl eberywun else iz headdesk-ing
Makin tribbles
N…
Leeving shinee fings foar LCB tew “luuk at”,
Mayking kir royales for evverywun (yay!)
Nomming yummy noms,
O…
Oberseeing debriefinkz
Plaiing moterpsickl cop
Qurkee sinz ob humor
Resistinging r-rest
s…
Sidling wif intent to lurk
Tribbles, collectin dem
Unnerwear, steeling dem
Vayporizing innocenz peoples and kittehs
W…
Wyzkrakkin wif unwyz krakz
X-pektin us 2 laff at such uh laym joak
Y did U tell such uh laym joak, Maus?
Zeeroe poyntz frun da Russian judj
Slaivering wiv intent
Taiping silleh fings
Utterleh strainzj storeh tellinks
Veeeeeery strainzj storeh tellinks
W …
ok, doesn’t seem that anyone noticed other than me… but is that a pile of crap next to the cat???
fankyoo, LCB! u haz sayved teh cheezpeeps frum teh horror uv teh multiple heddeskz anna faysepaws!
(ai’m doing bofe)
Watch owt, Rary! Maus iz a good tipper!
Don’t let Maus frow teh Rary owt teh windo – `coz it’s a lawng wai 2 tip a Rary
hey LCB! u furgotz too tayke annipuss along!
*gives annipuss and RBF a stern warning glance*
instead of the proverbial “shot across the bow” you nicked him by backing yr boat over ‘im?
oops, not ‘im, but anni & RBF
Well… as long as I’m up here…
After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed.
The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day when an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer’s job.
The bishop was incredulous. “You have no arms!” “No matter,”said the man. “Observe!” And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon.
The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo.
But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before.
As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, ” Bishop, who was this man?”
“I don’t know his name,” the bishop sadly replied, but…….”but his face sure rings a bell”.
The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame.
The first man to approach him said, “Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty.”
The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man’s brother stooped, picked up a mallet and struck the bells as beautifully as his brother. But as he finished, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around and died on the spot.
Two monks, hearing the bishop’s cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side.
“What has happened? Who is this man?” the first monk asked breathlessly.
“I don’t know his name,” sighed the distraught bishop,
“But he’s a dead ringer for his brother…”
*searches frantically for teh Cone of Silences*
*pushes green buttun on bwacelett*
*hands Cone of Silences to LCB*
Kwik, for teh love of CC!
Three friars were banished from their monastery for various rule violations, so they decided to start a business together. They traveled around until they found a town that they liked, and opened up a plant shop. Their floral business was soon thriving.
One day, a woman was shopping at the friar’s store, and while she was strolling down an aisle with her toddler, a large plant reached out, grabbed the child, and ate it. Needless to say, the women was quite upset at the loss of her child. However, the friars refused to believe that one of their plants could have done such a thing. The woman told all of her friends about the incident, and soon everyone in the town was in an uproar. They decided to kick the friars out of town. Every person in the town, except for a man named Hugh, gathered outside of the friars shop, shouting, waving sticks, and demanding that they leave. But the friars said, “No. We’re not leaving.” So the townspeople gave up and went home.
Well, a couple weeks later, another woman was walking through the friar’s shop, looking at plants with her baby, when a plant grabbed her child and ate it. She ran through the streets screaming that a plant had swallowed her baby. The townspeople were outraged, and again gathered outside the floral shop (except for Hugh), waving torches, and demanding that the friars leave town at once. But the friars said, “No way.” and all the people gave up and went home.
A few days later, yet another woman dared to take her child into the floral shop. She held her infant tightly in her arms, but it was no use. A large plant wrestled the child from her arms, and ate it.
When the townspeople heard of this, they were extremely upset. They again gathered outside the friar’s store (except for Hugh), yelling and threatening bodily harm to the friars if they didn’t leave town. But the friars said,”We’re staying.” So, the citizens gave up and began to go home.
Just then, Hugh showed up. He walked up to the friars, and said, “Get out of town, now!” The friars immediately packed up all their belongings and fled that very day, never to be heard from again.
The moral of this story is….
….only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
LOLOLOL!
bad Maus! iz a twerk! yeesh. nao i has to esplain…
I got a million of ‘em! Fortunately for you, I have meetings the rest of the afternoon.
TTFN!
We lef it in teh bell tower!!!!
Whew – Coen ob Silenc wasn’t working!!
OMCC Maus — yew is teh FUNNEH!!! Ai wants moar joeks liek deez!!! Ai luvz dem!!!!
*gives NS VRY stern warning look*
ohai nightshayde, ai will gibs ur email addy to mai FIL.
u will get moar uv tehse joeks than u ever dreemed uv…
Mah huzbin lieked teh joekz azwell — himz sendin dem to frendz. Wut kin ai sez? Wii iz warped pplz!
One more:
There was a snake called Nate. His purpose in life was to stay in the desert and guard the lever. Theis lever was no ordinary lever. It was the lever that if moved would destroy the world. Nate took his job very seriously. He let nothing get close to the lever.
One day off in the distance he saw a cloud of dust. He kept his eye on it because he was guarding the lever. The dust cloud continued to move closer to the lever. Nate saw that it was a huge boulder and it was heading straight for the lever!
Nate thought about what he could do to save the world. He decided if he could get in front of the boulder he could deflect it and it would miss the lever. Nate slithered quickly to intersect the boulder. The boulder ran over Nate, but it was, in fact, deflected, leaving history to conclude that is was better Nate than lever.
*brandishes teh Mt. McKinley of Silences menacingly*
Aw, c’mon LCB! You know you love these! Admit it!
These are some cracking puns. Keep them up.
tessm,ey lurvs da werdplayz uf da maus. plz to ad me 2 peeps u shar wif? kthanxbai momkatz
Do nawt trai 2 bend teh spoon wif ur mynd. Dat’s impawsibble. Onlee trai 2 see da trufe.
Congrats on teh nawt secund!
And congrats 2 DOOMBudgies fur teh awesum lol!
Fankies – iz mii an Annipuss agin!!
ohai! Scuse me Karen (congrats on teh GRATE commint btw!)
Here is teh final
ANNOWNSMINT
Ohai!
I is wanting to annownse that today, at the very next LOL, 9 am cheeztime LOL, we will has a PARTEE for owr cheezfrend Gremlin hoo went and gotted hurself married last Fryday!
Luks like we will race to tell her Happy Marrige!
ROOLS:
For ur first commint, u shud give ur best wishes to Gremlin and Mr. Gremlin.
Then, reply to ur own commint tellin what u were racing wif. IE Rokkit Lawn Chare, or Zamboni, or riding one of teh varius and sordid majikal creatures that live around here.
After that, we all has caek and i scream!
C u there!
“sordid majikal creatures”
duz taht meen sumwun will be raycing onna YNG???
That’s up to you…
Kittehs ARE da truf. Awl else iz noms, slabes, nommable slabes adn goggies.
Him’s no Uri Geller
Iz bettur nawt 2 habs urigeller naer kat-lerree anneewaes… B berry x-pensuv..
Uri Geller am not an Uri Geller eever. Iz frawd. In dis case, doe, the spoon may gets pawed.
oar “pawnd”
Now open wide! This medicine is yummy, I promise…
โซjust a spoooful 0 sugah heps da medisin go dooooooooooooown, medisin go doon, da medisin go doon,
just a spo00….
*gaggagagag ACK!*
is still nassssty.
oh not agin!
*puts hands over eers*
*aliens across the universe declare red alert*
* little faux robin appears*
โซAnd every task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark! A spree! Itโs very clear to see thatโฆ
*aliens duck and cover, espesially their eerz*
A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go d0000000wn
*frantik aliens beg for mercy and depose their leaders who are useless in the face o such an aural attak on civilizashun as dey knows it*
The medicine go do0000000wn
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way
(Robin starts Whistlingโซโซ aliens thnk they hear light at the end of the tunnel; then they realize it is just the whistle of the incoming train…)
JUUUUST A SPOONFUL 0 SHUGAR HELPZ DA MEDICINE GO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN…
It’s berry hard 2 tiep wiv ur pawz ober ur eerz
*snerk*
But… but… whut if teh medicine is for teh diabeetus?
use da faux sugar.
Clever grrrl….
yup. “kiss it and make it better”- mom’s remedy.
But… but… whut if u has teh mononucleosis?
share the wealth?
Wait, whut? Whut is teh faux sugar fo’?
we r trying to aspartame that nows.
*rubs hands together*
Splenda!
*LCB realizes she’s rubbing GLG and COL’s hands together. Keeps doing it anyways*
*gives saccharine smile*
Good to see u is equal to teh task.
*stage whisper: my faux sugar is the set up/straight line for a very
mild double entendre. … )
well, nun uv us gotz it, so whut is it??? u kant leeve us inna lurch lyke taht!
UMMMmmm… fo-kiss?
as in FOKISS, Daniel-san?
Dat can’t be rite.
CLG, u is meh sugar. Oy.
fake French kiss. yes, it is teh laem.
sowy
“sugar” = “kiss”?
mus be frum teh south…?
ai red wunst an artikle sumwherez about “3 awl-purpose things u can
always say at a partee oar sumfin when evverybudy is talkin about sumfin u duzzint noes ennyfing abowt and sumwun asks whut u thinks”
1. Well, it depends…
2. (ai can’t remembur #2!)
3. Well, things are different in the South.
i wuz wundring if it wuz jest suthr’n, and now i know!
yup, “shugah” = “kiss” leading to years of men in diners
askin for sugar and winkin at the waytrisswifbighair who in returns rolls
her eyez. or not, dependin on the customer.
(whar’d all my “final geez go”? off to Alaksa; there seems to be a shortj o dem )
i dunno where doze ” ” camed from. jest ignoar dem.
(ohai, ai remebured #2 wuz “it maykes me sew angree/sad/whatever taht ai refuze to discuss it.”)
*heddesk*
oh, Maus, honey — u iz needed down heer!
Go up the page a bit for my latest contribution…
sweet!!
Ai am Equal-ly entertained!
Oops! sorry LCB – you were faster on the Equal reference. Ai type slow as Molasses anyway!
Oh hoeny, nawt to wurree!
Whew. This thred has finally slowed down to a treacle.
u shud bee caned
until u r sorghum.
Oar they shood b beet
@@@@@@@!!
Jus add sum medicine to teh medicine to kownterakt teh shoogar, aifinkso.
yr spoon
iz em tee
Sekzule innuendoh
we haz it
telepathy kitteh failz 2 impress audience
Schrodinger still sperimenting wit catz.
Schrodinger kitteh saiz spoon wuz bent until u obzerbed it.
Whut happenz if wee put teh spoon en teh box?
“Any spoon playing grab-a$$ or fighting in teh dishwasher spends a night in teh box. First bell’s at five minutes of eight when you will get in your drawer. Last bell is at eight. Any spoon not in his drawer at eight spends teh night in teh box. “
But is it really in teh box? Or do you just perceive it to be in teh box?
*ponders this grate skientifc kwestion*
*nods hed knowingly*
*flicks 3FK in teh forehed wif a spoon*
*runsawayfast*
Well, now ai habs to chase LCB fur throwin tings at me! And den ai will be too tired tu rayce dis afternoon.
*Shrugs shoulders and starts off after LCB*
If anywun sees LCB runnin bye, tell her Ai hab a spoon tu gib her!
Iz yew certain uv dis? Can yew rillee BE certain uv dis?
ะฒ ัะพะฒะตััะบะพะผ ะ ะพััะธั ะปะพะถะบะฐ ะณะฝะตั ะฒะฐั
ะทะฐ ะฟะพะฑะตะดั
=FTW ะผะพะน ัะผะตััััั ะฝะฐะด, ะฟัะตะฟััััะฒะพะฒะฐะป ะผะฝะต ะฟะพะบะฐะทะฐัั ะฒะฐะผ ะตะณะพ
@@@@@@!
ะัะตะฝั ัั ะธััะตะฝะฝะพ!
the peeps here have “rubbed off” on me.
ai tuuked a liddul Russian inna collije —
“In Soviet Russia, spoon bends u”?
@@@@@@!!
yes, but babelfish is my fwend… http://www.babelfish.yahoo.com/translate_txt
ai tryed “eleven cheeseburgers” and here’s whut ai got bak:
“11 cheeseburgers”
ยซะั ะทะฝะฐะตัะต ะพะฝะธ ะฒัะทัะฒะฐัั ะบะฒะฐััะฐะปัะฝัะผ Pounder ั ัััะพะผ ะฒ ะคัะฐะฝัะธ?ยป
You want fries wit dat?
royale ั ัััะพะผ?
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2007/02/17/pulp-cheezburger
Moas stoopy kitteh STILL smartur tahn teh smartist hoomin!
Eben teh Forrest Gump kitteh mai fren had. Him nawt teh britist bulb inna bocks but wuz still fun 2 chayse arown teh howse.
SMRT!
I r so smart!!!!
Whiel ur focusin awn teh spoon, kittehs minyuns r emptyin ur pockitz.
Ma kittehs is awlays taeking mah monies , he finks I r maed ov it!
Hay! Where’s mai wallet?
He Noes what he doen! he plans it fur ages!
Kitten is in cahoots wif LCB?
*hides bendy spoon behind back*
Whut’s this, now?
oh hai LCB……did yu noes dat a liddle blak kitteh haz been cumin bi mi howse, an iz aaz ai rite diz cuddleded up nex tu me awn himz bak , showin a berry cyute floofy tummeh ai mite add, wiff himz hed layin awn mi leg, an iz purring himz hed owf….NE way …wun ov teh cheezfrenz obber awn teh yahoo groop haz naemeded himz …….wate fer it ….
.
LBC !!!
A fine name, but be carefuls when u gives teh instructions to teh v-e-t. I’ve already had my shots.
*pours self another shot*
Liddul Blak Cat?
Ai wuz finkin dat “Elsie B” wud maek a gud naem fur a kitteh.
Iz dat a gingerbred man cukkee beside kitteh? Iz reward fer nawt damagin de taybleware? NOM!!
Ai lubs teh luk awn tihs kittehs fayse. It sez: “Wat ebber u sellin, ai nawt buyin.”
he doesnt eben wants it, kitteh taeks it anyways, so u can’t haf it
IN SOVIET RUSSIA, SPOON BENDS YOU!!
Funyst I hav seen ina lawng tym!
In Soviet Russia, spoon bends you!
I lol’d.
Telekinesis fail.
kitteh got bent…doesn’t so awfull 2 me.
& a tongue-lashing will probably B next….
DOOMbudgies, this is absolutely brilliant! Just logged in at end of the working day and am laughing out loud. Don’t care who hears me! Thank you.
LOL!!! – Me tu!!! Lubbed it!
…and with one swell foop.
3 DOODZ WUZ SENTENCD 2 25 YEERS OV SOLITARY CONFINEMENT. AS CONCESHUN, TEH GOVERNR ALLOWD EACH OV THEM 2 TAEK WAN ITEM INTO HIS CELL.
TEH FURST GUY ASKD 4 PILE OV BOOKZ; TEH SECOND 4 HIS WIFE; TEH THIRD ASKD 4 100 CARTONS OV CIGARETTEZ.
AT TEH END OV TEH 25 YEERS, TEH FURST PRISONR WUZ RELEASD AN SED: “DOSE BOOKZ PROVD IMMENSELY INVALUABLE. I HAS STUDID SO HARD I CAN NAO TRAIN 2 BE LAWYR. IM RLY HAPPEH.”
TEH SECOND MAN STEPPD OUT OV HIS CELL, WIF HIS WIFE AN 5 NEW CHILDREN. HE SMILD, “MAH WIFE AN I HAS NEVR BEEN SO CLOSE. I HAS BEAUTIFUL NEW PPLZ. IM SO HAPPEH.”
AN TEH THIRD GUY SED: “ANYBODY GOT MATCH?”
lol
*clamps pillyos over eers*
Plz to stop yelling? We is not mute, u knoes.
not dumb eevver. well, not all the time, anyways.
yah, teh all caps makes teh funny joke hard to reed.
ONCE UPON MIDNITE DREARY, WHILE I PONDERD WEAK AN WEARY,
OVAR LOTZ DA QUAINT AN CURIOUS VOLUME OV FORGOTTEN LORE,
WHILE I NODDD, NEARLY NAPPIN, SUDDENLY THAR CAME TAPPIN,
AS OV SUM WAN GENTLY RAPPIN, RAPPIN AT MAH CHAMBR DOOR.
`TIS SUM VISITOR, I MUTTERD, `TAPPIN AT MAH CHAMBR DOOR -
ONLY DIS, AN NOTHIN MOAR.
Caps Lock — let us show u it (an den press it).
Plz?
i’z confused bout dis spoon
In Soviet Russia, spoon iz confwused abowt u
an now its time for teh burfday fairy to flutter in an say a big HAPPEE BURFDAY to all teh cheezfrenz, lolfrenz, noofrenz, lurkurfrenz, an, um, trolz, hoo haz tehms burfdays today! (trolz dont wanna be frenz, but tehy gets a burfday greeting anyway.) heer are tasty fudjy hommaed cakes wif plenty ob candels!! i skreem, fizzy punch, noyzemakers, an goodie bags wif yoyos taht wissle wen tehy yoyo, little kitteh-shaypd maze puzzels wher yoo roll teh liddle ball arownd to get it in teh holez, kandees, an a stencil wif diffrent kitteh shapes an a sparkly pensil for drwaing wif!
ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช โ ฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช โ ฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช โ ฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช โ ฮพ ฯ
โผ โชโซ โช โ ฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช โ ฮพ ฯโผ โชโซ โช โ ฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช โ ฮพ ฯโผ โชโซ โช
โซ โช โ ฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช โ โซ โช โ ฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช โ โซ โช โ ฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช
ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช โ ฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช โ ฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ
ฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช โ ฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช โ ฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผฮพ ฯ ยค ยง โผ โชโซ โช โ
onoes! get him a cairoprackter!
Doombudgies, u gotz it goin on.
Is that a Domo-kun plushie in the background?
ROFL!!!
First post here, ever, I just had to! This one is EPIC!
EPIC LOLZ!
In soviet Rusia spoon bends you!
Yep, that’s me. =D
If this was at all an Incubus reference you are a golden god. ^_^
i think u should shovel da crap on da floor
der iz n0 sp00n!
Buster haz teh magnitiikal kittenalitee.
When animals tilt their heads like that, isn’t it a sign of a tumor?
that kittehs so key-yute!!!!