« Previous Twinkles immediately | Firefox file transfur compleet. Next »
» 134 Comments
Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?
» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.
-
Who be Talkin'
3catsownme on Oh noes! miniminsmum on Oh noes! 3catsownme on Oh noes! Sandy on See the Future: Get the Magic… catalogical humor on See the Future: Get the Magic… keshet on u’z not doin well at dis… JanetCanHas4Kittehs on u’z not doin well at dis… JanetCanHas4Kittehs on Waddya mean ‘Get he… pj perry on It’s the JanetCanHas4Kittehs on It’s the pj perry on u’z not doin well at dis… kitkay on u’z not doin well at dis… pj perry on u’z not doin well at dis… pj perry on u’z not doin well at dis… pj perry on Switchboard operator kitt… 
Cheezburger Network Blog
It wuz a dark and stormery night
Conga rat shoe laces, rodney dill! Want sum drinks wif ur storee? Or a littlol dans around teh book shelf?
Coffee… Black… for me
Ooops, sawry, had to go and grow sum cawfee beens 4 u. Hold on.
*grindy grindy grindy grind*
*splash steam splash*
Here’s teh coffee. Wud u like sum ginger biskits wif it?
…Teh doar creekded opin slooooooooeleeeeee 2 reveel…
Axe murrdurrerz Atturnees
Big Thugs wif Borked Beaks
Cantankeruz cleening ladees
D…
Danjeroos dinosaurs dining
Espeshulee ebil emus
Fairly fritening fishes
Grewsum groanin ghules
H…
Hillary Clinton
Invisible Imps
Jumpin’ Skeletons
Kill’t bodies
L…
Lollygagin lolrusus
Mollycoddlin moocowz
Nazti numbats
o…
ornery ornitholologists
persnickety penquins
querulous quails
r…
Radiated rapscillions
Skary Salami sammiches
Terrorfing tunafishes
U…
Ubiquituous umberellas
Vivacious vixins
Wobbly webfoots
x…
xenophobic existentialists
yodeling yetis
zestful zebras!
Skary Salami sammiches????? Do NAWT want
Awl slami iz skary. *giglol*
EncycLoLpedia Kittehnica
Beri, beri gud !
LOL!!! Very clever indeed my friend.
Especially the encyc-LOL-pedia.
Dis is backbreaking studying, dat’s wot it is.
Kitteh Desimul System better tahn Dewy Desimul System (Dewy iz awl wet).
adn ai forgrot 2 say taht taht iz haow teh vast “Woozled Ded Treez Refferns Liberary of Ackshul Boox adn Nawt teh Intertubez” iz orgaranimized.
oOOOooooh Kitteh Desimul System wot dat den?
9 buks awn cheesburger n one on gushifud?
inkq entk nosey peeps wants to noe
Iz Kitteh Desimul System tu da base 8??? Bekause dey hab no posable thumbs??
Retyred librarian wuntz tu no, cauz she needs tu re-cattledog hur home collektun.
*whipspurrz fo MarthaV:*
Shhh… doo nawt tell… iz just pilez & pilez uv pilez & pilez…
Hi MarthaV when i red your commint i fort “Hmmm, dats’ a bit ozzie” den i remememebers dat you and i is ozzies on the lolcat map of teh hol wuruld.
gday marfarvee!
Dis very gud points!
ai also haz a “Ded Treez Librerry of Akshual Boox and Nawt the Intertubes”, but it is eben less organized tahn teh KDS. oof.
Wun uv mai kidlets useded to call it teh “Screwy Decimal System”…
Dewy might be all wet, but he is very refreshing early in the morning!
No, kitteh, u lernz bai diffuzhun. Ozmoziz iz onlee in wattur.
OMG!!!1!! dat is wun sweet little belly!
Yep- ai think snorgling is imi..emi..um, cumming rite up!
This reminds me of a poster in my Jr High science class. If I recall right it had a picture of Garfield with a book roped around him, and it said “I am learning through osmosis.”
lol, garfeeld iz awsum. yoo kan lurn evreefing yoo needz to kno frum garfeeld.
mai classrum had da sayme powstru, Miroku! dis lawl brawt bak memrees!
Ta… ta… tabbeh! Cyoot bebbeh tabbeh wif tummee… an lil dark pawpads… an luking at us upsydaon…
Nonononono… where mai CHRG? An baving cap? An dukky taype?
Tu layte!
SPLORT
*collapses wif big silleh smyle still awn fayse*
Uh oh- Ai am not certifyed but ai try to halp, scoopy braynesup- gently playse bak- put on CHRG – extra dukky taype- there! That should hold. Now, soft cheezland map blanky and choklit roo, better PK?? you rest for a bit.
If tehre being certifying fur tihs, ai needs it tu. *snuggles intu blanky n nibbles chokklit roo* Fank yu, ai needing mai brayns an is hard tu using tehm when tehy iz ebrywhere but in hed! An it cannawt be gud fur tehm tu be awl ober ebrywhere.
OOOOh prysma-kitteh
Ai habbent dun dis befoar. Nobuddy elze is here.. Wadoaido.
9 elebenty fur da CCC
“Hello CCC. Kwik!! Prysma-Kitteh needs u!!!”
Weee OOO Weee OOO Weee OOO
Slurp up brayns, slop dems into kranial cabity, pik owt ukky bitz, put top bak onna hed, dukky taype, CHRG, moar dukky taype.
Hotz chockolate n extra chokolate.
Warm fluffy blanky.
Ooooh Ooooh Hab Ai dun it rite????
Yu dunned ryte, yep, fank yu! Ai impressed teh CCC iz restocked aftur yesturday’s crisis. Mmm, moar chokklit. An anuvver blanky. Iz warm n comfee. *sip sip teh hawt chokklit*
Oh no! Make way for the CCC!
How are we going to get all of those braynes off of the boox? Carefully blot up the braynes with superabsorbent paper towels, and then rinse the towel out with sparlkly water. Strain out the braynie bits, and rinse again, then put back in the brainium. Gloo all the brayne bowns back togever, and pull the upholstery back over and staple to the brayne bowns. Comb the fur pieces back artistically, and then cover the whole thing with a CHRG. Rap wif ducky tape for extra sekuritee, and a few extra staples just in case. Here’s a nice floofy blanket, hot chocololate, and some chocololate cukies to nible on while you recover. Don’t look at the picture again! Hope you feels better sune!
Oh tank u harry. U du dis much bedder dan ai du. Prisma-Kitteh shud be much bedder naow. Ai’m not gud at dis.
Yu did fine! I hazn’t dun that much eever, and I’m kind of slow at it! But I thot I wud try to help out a fellow Canadian cheezpeep, even if she does live on the wrong side of the country!
Bof uv yu, stopping taht tihs minnit! Yu bof did awsum, an it awlways taeks time tu du a resku, an ebrywun duz it wif tehir own style. An tehre being no formal trayning ai knowing uv, sept mebbe teh info in cweenmj’s blog.
Yu being awn teh west coast sumwheres? Wud be awful erlee owt tehre…
.
An iz awlways gud tu meet fello Canajan, Harry.
Yup, I is in Alberta. If I don’t soon get over the insom kneeya, there won’t be any point in going to bed for the hour before I need to get up! On the other hand, there is ICHC to keep me awake!
Unsomnya iz teh pleh.
Yu can haz kitteh tu purring yu tu sleep?
But if you need to be up in an hour anyway, going back to sleep would just make you more tired when you get up. I hate mornings like that. Hope you get through the day okay, and get some decent sleep tonight. It’s not like there’s a lot of bright sunlight to wake you up or anything, anymore. *grumble*
Wowees! We iz gettings moar Kanajins! Taht’s ahsum to see!
Yepyep, it iz eh?
Uv corse, eben teh handful in Untaryo iz preddy spred owt, ledalon tohse in teh rest uv teh Grayt Whyte Norf. A cheezmeet reel soon, aifinknotso.
Tu bad.
Harry, u not on deh map.
go heer:
.
http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=2234299
Thankz BluesFan473!
.
Den rite tu mii at cweenmj@gmail.com telling mii ur ICHC
name and ur lokayshun.
.
Den see ur marker (adn all deh uzzerz) at
http://www.maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&ll=44.412202,-92.823486&spn=0.847561,1.763306&z=9&msid=103775879896697322828.0004573f951750ea89599
.
Cheez!!!
Mai brayns be cleener tahn tehy been in a berry lawng tiem! Oooh, an artistic fur, tu. An cukies! Ai awl gud nao. Fank yu! An ai glad teh boox nawt be tu damajd bai mai aksident.
Ai just gunna sit heer nao n be comfee n warm, n nibble n sip, n trai nawt tu luk at enny moar cyoot bebbeh tabbehs fur a bit.
Hooray 4 teh three reskew peeps!1!!!! U awl did very well, eben thow sum of u haz nebber dun it be4. U r awl fast lurners and may joyn teh kitteh awn teh encyclolpedia. U has mastered the lessun on nawt-sekkund aid during splort attacks, well dun!
*claps claps*
Inna honour ob our bwave nobice reskuers aie fink we shud hab a priz gibbing
fur teh awardin ob teh nawt-secund aid cerfifikates an den we can has partiiiiiiii
.
.
.
Monna afernoon/murnings shuld alwais start wiv a parti aiefinkso
I thin a party at deh Ty boteek b in order!! Den deh reskyooerz can raid deh shelvez at deh same time!!
Dey kin have
Adorable kitteh skarvez
Brite shinee kitteh wind chimez
Chokklit martooneez (kinda eerley, but hoo cares!?!?)
D…
Deliteful kitteh candlol
Eminently pritty skulptchures
Fritefully byootimus abatars
Gently purring kittehs
Highly snorglably floofy blankit (wif cheezmap awn!)
I…
Iree desent kitteh sunketchrz
Jumping kitteh jack-in-da-boxez
Kitteh accsessoryz — awl kindz
L…
Lublee kitteh-print fashuns
Meow-in-teh-box – newest ting!
New kitteh posters wiv fraymes
O …..
Orange ones
Purrrrrfeckly paynted payntings of kittehs wif teh BIG EYZES
Quietly nappping kittehs (shhhhhhhh!!!!)
R…
Wow! A multi-reskyew! Gud jawb, peeps!
*shayks hed* Those tabbehs kin be danjeruss! I noes this frum eggsperyence! Keep those CHRGs on tite, peeps. An lukaway frum teh fuzzey belleh, just to be sayf!
So insteed ub playin in da books maibe we gets a new haus! Ai wants to maek haus liek dis fun mah kittehs!
http://www.moderncat.net/2008/10/08/unbelievable-cat-friendly-house-design-from-japan/
I’d never be able to get my kitties in the carrier for trips if they had this many places to go!
I likez deh plantz kunvenyently plaised
so deh kittehz kin nokking dem down.
*giglol* Fur mai Trick, taht wud be a ohai point.
Ai agrees plantz naut sush gud idea fur da real- but dey maeks prettee picshurs.
Ai fink naut enof fluffy sleep plases tu. But ai reallee lieks da litterbox an da outsiz run, an da ober da hed beams.
omgudness, dat is a kewl website!
Ifinkso I cud find someone to make one for me much cheeper.
Didja see the Kattbank litter bocks?
WANT!
But at $1600
*steps up to da mikrowphune*
Is dis fing awn? *tap tap squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel *
*clears froat*
Cheezfrenz, Lolkittehs tudai we onor teh acheavemints ob tree outstannin cheezfrenz in teh qwik action n dedimakated study ob teh nawt sekund aid (splortage kittegory) n herebai award teh following cheezepeeps thier cerfifkates;
luvscatsva
Harry
MarthV
.
Pleeze b acceptin ur cerfifikates offa proffezor kitteh here;
.
.
http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=2341263
*cheers n wissles n dansdansdans n frows confettis (akshully, birdseed, coz iz erf-frenlee) ebrywheres*
Fank yu – I am onered tu receeb dis certifi-cute frum dat speshul tabby proffezor kitteh, who seams to bee abul to keep up on da knews in Spanish too!
I will trezur mai certificut and prowdly display it in mai offyce!
hey !!!1! who likes weezles?
you do? and you?
what, all of you? ok, ok, no pushing, there’s weasles enuf fer eberybuddy.
(ai noes, who wuddn’t like a weaslol?)
just go to this site. today’s picshur is reely teh cyoot.
.
http://www.scienceblogs.com/strangerfruit/2008/10/monday_mustelid_34.php
.
a gud way to starts teh monday, if yew asks me.
Teh Rabid Weasel No-insult Leeg approves uv tihs!
shuddn’t that be “ai am a rabid weezle, and ai approoves of this messaje”?
A berry hansum muskeelid, indeed.
itz a lolweezlburglar!
Dis very cyoot weeezil! Hoo wood a thinked a weeezilol cood be so sweet fased! awmos sportable.
*splort*
(Ai finks we can remoosed da ‘awmos’)
ruh roh.
we has a splort on a no-longer-active thred. midnightsdeer is down.
*hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm*
teh d’Beaker Labs Hybrid CCC purrs up to the scene
*vrmmmmmm vrmmmmmmmmm*
teh robotic brayne-vacuuming robots are collecting all teh braynes
teh compyooter controlled multipipette sistem is squirting the braynes back into the braynial cabity
*sqwirt sqwirt sqwirt*
the duck tape
strrrrrrrrrrrritch
teh bungee cords
boing
oops
teh chrgw/doi
snap!!
ok, all’s well
here’s a fluffy blanket wif teh periodic table of teh elolements on it.
here’s sum hawt choklit, wif
*looks around*
a bit of scotch
glug glug glug
just because yew had to waits so long for nawt-second aid
yew rest here and enjoy.
Wow! Nyce job on dis splort-recubbery Pd’B! I wuz jus passin’ thro, katchin’ up on all da past threds I missed wile RL wuz happenin. MND shud be awl bedder nao!
Uh-uh, issa wwzil-spolort. Anudder CCC emergenci!
Wheee-whee-whee!
Scoop-up-da-brains
Genly pat-pat-pat dem back in Midnightsdeer’s hed.
Tap-tap-tap on da skullcap and fwip-fwip-fwip on deduct tape to seal ebberyting inside.
Wrap MND in floofy blankie and hand a chokklit wezil. Ifn dey cyoot eno to splort, dey good eno to eat! Njoi!
Is not jus a liberry
Is mah hammock
* weeeeeeeeeeeek weeeeek weeeeek *
.
ai has a dai awf werk!!! nao ai has a sooper dooper happee!
.
{{{Cheezfrends}}}
Yayyyyy!!!!
*dansdans*
*grab teh GP paws n twirling him aroun*
*dansdans*
Day awf wurk, no pleh wurk tuday!
Wooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooooooooo
*grabs liddle pinnygig paw an spins arand wib a sooper dooper happee*
* grabs Prysm & Maggsuverhoomun adn twirlee twirlee rownd adn rownd adn rownd…
.
Uh oh… ai nawt feline so gud, askhully…
oh mai, u bedder sit in dis chare an hab a rest until teh rhum stawps spinnin
ssshhhhhhh!!!!!
wut do you think LCB wud saying, if she herd that GP had a day awf frum werk?
wud it be:
A) aaawww, little guinness piggeh, ai is so happy fer yew being able to relax awl day long, or
B) better dew sumfing just fer yourself, yew deserves it!!, or
C) climb back intew teh bed and sleeps as lawng as yew like, or
D) deelishus noms and happiness all day, or
E) eberybuddy noes there is no such thing as a day off pour un flonquais-en-trainant, or
F) …
F) Flonquais! Pick up mai dri-kleening
G) GP! Stop walking arownd nekkid!
H) Harrummpphh! Ware is mai no gud Flonquais?
I) Is mai hawt chokklit reddy YET, GP???
J) …
F) flonquais do dis an den
G) Go do dat over fing
H) Helps mie find a fyremanz
I) Ice in mai martoonie
J)…
J) Joose me sum orinjes, GP – fresh wons!
K) Kleen teh floof offa taht pyle ob elebenty Hunnert Dollar Towels
L) Lissen, GP – yu will be mai Flonwquais FOR EBBER!
M) Mai lazee, no gud Flonquais – let me show yu him
N) …
N) nobuddy noes how hard it is to have such a lazee flonquais; he finkso he has tehday awf…
O) oh GP! wut a joker!!
P) plump up thowze pillols for me, and do it
Q) quickly; ai feels like a nap
R)
R) Rabid Weesuls is NAWT a play thing, GP
S) Ssshhh, GP – yu can commint… umm, nebber. hao’s nebber fur yu?
T) Taek teh kittehs tu teh grooming parlour GP – adn donut forget tu collect awl teh floof
U) Unner a big pyle ob straw eh? Otay, yu can has 10 minnut brake. (she does nawt awlways has teh mean)
V) Vertigo? Yu has vertigo? Nebber mind, nao strappety strappety yurself inna taht ACME Rokkit Lawn Chair…
W) “WAAAAAAAAAA”
X) X-Rayted “Guinness Piggeh does Ai Beleebe inna Miwacles” DBD onna sale nao at Hull Cloth
Y) Y, GP? Y yu is awlways so sleepy?
Z) ZOMG! Yu is teh wusrt flunky ai has ebber had! Uff…
R) rubs mah scalps wif da sof brush, den
S) shampoos mah hairs, be shores tu
T) taks ewr times, caus it feelz very gud. den
U) use porfumed condicshuner tu untangles mah hairs, be shores tu be
V) very jentels, den rinse aut wif very
W) warms waders. Dis aw very
X) xcellent centsory oberlode
Y) your very gud tu meh, ai gibs ew elbentytweny hunder
Z) zolla bill towles!
yu muss has hurr mixted up wib sommedy else… hurr is nebber taht nyce tu me!
.
awltho… she does gibes me 10 minnut brakes ebbery now adn agen, adn she does let me scamper arownd inna big pyles ob straw wen ai has no flunkying tu du… adn ai gets tu meet lawts ob lebretees adn stuff…
.
Le Vie d’Phlonquais – nawt so bad, akshully…
.
mai TORmentor, ai miss hurr… nawt been playing fur days! oh, oh, ware issa mai LCB?
.
* scampers off tu play inna big pyle ob straw
engoys ewr daz-off lettel piggeh! Ai em very shore ew deserbs et!
Aww fankies! {{{Midnight}}}
* chases handsome stranger off…
.
Sry, taht Fronsch lolpig… he issa awlways trying to but in!
Kitten belly! Must snorgle!
…… …… … and tikklol……
then be prepared fur deh pointeh endz
sew mennee buks, sew little nap tyme…
Ifn teh kitteh wuz learnin the Biblol…
would he be learnin by osmoses?
hed.
desk.
Moses osmosis his toes to roses…
@@@@@
zomg is mai furst lol on teh main page! thx evry1!!!
yay!!1 way to go.
Awsum!!!! Conga rats fur yu!
*watches teh lyne uv rodints conga bai*
Nicely dun, Circey. Ai iz happitail for u. Grate feelin, izzint?
{{{{{{Circey}}}}} Hooray fur yoo!!
.
Sumwun wunce said getting awn teh frunt page heer wuz way better than having yur picture awn teh cover ov Time Magazine!!
.
So this iz a verree egg sighting day fur yoo – an we ar awl happee fur yoo too!! An fur us – becuz yoo fownd wun ov teh kyootest pikchoors ebber!!
…Osmosis only works with water…its diffusion.
I iz turnin mah back on wheeze-dum
oooo…luks just liek mah behbeh Pixie…*SPLOOOOORT*
(refresh not-second) Anudder CCC emergenci!
Wheee-whee-whee!
Scoop-up-da-brains
Genly pat-pat-pat dem back in TC’s hed.
Tap-tap-tap on da skullcap and fwip-fwip-fwip on deduct tape to seal ebberyting inside.
Wrap TC in floofy blankie and hand a varyty of chokklit to chooz from.
Osmosis Kitteh
is shelf-taught
LOL I approvez.
iznt u lernz bai diffuzionz? u no is in watur!
That fits the pic so nicly
Dewey haz a liddul sis.
mai envi.
teh kitteh haz it.
Too bad osmosis is liquid to liquid.
…MAYBE IF YOUR CAT WAS BLEEDING IT WOULD WORK.
Well, luckily for us, Mr./Ms. Wizard, the intent of the joke/LOL is not predicated on its adherence to scientific accuracy.
In other words, Princess Merry Sunshine: IF YOU HAD A SENSE OF HUMOR IT WOULD ALSO WORK, so do please kindly sit back, relax and TRY NOT TO BE SO BLOODY F**KING LITERAL AND YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY ENJOY YOURSELF
Actually, osmosis is the transfer of water across a membrane. The better word would have been diffusion, but osmosis is more recognizable, so I say leave it.
But it iz transfur across me brane.
Well, since neither the books nor the knowledge are liquids, why would it be any better if the cat was bleeding? I prefer the original LOL!!!
This would be because to some degree or other, “Jade”s post = “Troll-like posting detected”. Luckily for me, my CHRG and my troll-smacking helmet fit together quite nicely.
Deer Jade. Ai’m shur yoo ment no harm, but heer – we don’t care so much if it iz rite, so long az it iz cyoot and funneh.
.
This wun meetz bof criteria to maek us happee. SUCH a charming pickchoor – an we awl noo what wuz ment.
.
So – The Crapture – ar own deer clever Crapture – iz rite. Just relax an go wif teh flow and teh fun ov it. Yoo will hav a much bedder taim! It’s just awl in fun!
hmm, i find it rather interesting that i came here to post something along the effect of “DIFFUZINS, DUH” but it’s already been said. 5 times. i love the internet ^-^
Where is the Encyc-LOL-pedia to be found? And the LOLBible? The Dictionary of LOL? And… where you find how to speek LOL so eezily? Epic fail me! Very epic fail
U needs watur furz ozmoziz…dis be diffuzion.
no wayz that bez active tranzport, it move up da consentrashon graidyent
OSMOSIS DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!
Obvious troll is …obvious…….Yes Senor F**kstick, we know osmosis does not work that way…read the f**king thread you’re hardly the first one to bestow this earth shattering revelation upon us
Skin is permeable to dumbness
wish i hadiz powa