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yur littel mens, they has a flavur
Doan eat teh poysin parts!
nao maybee ai’ll git in teh rite place….GMTA!!! (tried twice, at least one of those times was appropriate. sheesh!)
Yesh day dew!
Ai haz a wunder, tho……iffin teh ornj kitteh eatz teh ornj mens, dews teh poysins jus cansil each udder owt? Sews teh ornj kittehs kin bes lik hazmat kittehs an cleen up teh danjer?
akshully, orinj poyzin kitteh iz liek a poyzin dart froggeh oar teh
monark caterpiddler. Eetsin da orinj doods iz ware he gits hims
poyzin frum.
den da nastee tocksinz bild up in hims fur fer a difense
mekkanizm. iffin yoo givs dis kitteh a baff, da wader turns
orinj nd u gets nastee rashiz!
Doan fergitt, Ceiling Cat r ornj! Hez “Halp’n teh Dojerz wyn…wun play’r @ a tiem.”
congratz G.piggy on ur nawt-sekond! on a berry awe-spishus day,2!
O fankies, Kayjoy! no thyme fur teh sillybrayshuns todai!!! busee busee busee
.
nao, plz to be putty yur FHCRG(wdoi), Hunnert Dollar Towel & Cheezmap Blankie on adn get inna line ober dere… Fankies!
hoomon r alwys poysin dohe
I am lost nowz halps mee…cant finds the peepls…show to big where are my pirate friends?
oh deer, yoo just come wif me, tiggles. i not kno if tehr are ovver pierats heer, but johnny depp iz somewher down below, him gotted sent to teh nawty barn becawz all himz cloves burned up an him iz nekkid, but ifinkso mebbee tehy still wanted him for teh fashun show. *takes tiggles by teh floofy paw an leeds him/her dwon teh thred to find johnny depp*
Monstr kitteh invades durin Whirled Serees
but the oranj oens r poysin!!!
what’cha wanna bet the pitcher get ejected for throwing a fur-ball.
hee hee hee
@@@@@ Gud wun SHD!!
Catzilla!
GMTA!!!
EVERYBODY RUNZ, HALP HALP!
…right. Lights? Models? Music?
Just do yer best, darling.
* rolls out teh red carpet… flappity flappity flappity
.
* watches teh nawt sekkund limo arrive…
Karen setps awn teh rid carpit in herz blak awnsumbl wif a hunnert dollar towel draeped aza shawl.
Ooh! *Cheerz*
* princess Mu is seen aproeching frum the east ntrance. She is sans sandan chare due to the rectent sprained akles ov the front barers. instead her transportatin is a large klingon.*
*Princess mu’s small frame fits neatly nto the crook of Ql”tu”s arm. a silk pillow peeks owt frum behind Mu’s shoulder sheilding hur frum the armor adorning her amour.*
“da Princess is dressed in pearlessent silks trimed in jade fabirics an jewels her compainion is n traditional batteldress”
(snerk, ov korse)
*Ql”tu” raises an Ibrow towards the anonshur*
“huh… an noa bak tew u ken!”
i maeded a komint an werd press eated it
O Hai Mick! hao’s teh lips??? uh huh, uh huh? wow!
.
Otay, plz to be taking yur seet, fankies.
.
NEXT!
MEET! Yu maded eet! Wow, taht is sum kinda scar!!!
.
Plz to be taking yur seet… huh? yesh, lika Bat outta Hell iffn yu must!
.
NEXT!
* checks guess List…
.
“Share”, yu sai? oh “Cher” sry… nope NAWT onna list.
.
kthxbai!
.
NEXT!
GYARRR! O gud, teh Pirates arrrrr heer!
.
Ober dere next tu teh treshure chest plzthx
.
NEXT!
Buzzzzzzz…. STING! O Hai! Ai juss LUBBS yur bee costoom! inshpyred!
.
plz to be takey yur seet ober dere next tu Meet, fankies.
.
NEXT!
O… Mai… Ceeling Cat… OZZY! adn SHARRRRRRON! ooo, yu lukk fantabulous!
.
huh? Yesh, dere will be noms, ob corse… yup, YNG’s will be out shortlee No, Ozzy, wii do nawt has anee ob… dose… yu has cleerly had enuf awlreddy!
.
otay, plz to sit between Mick & Meet adn try tu control dem! fankies…
.
Nao, ware arr awl teh YNG’s?
Erm…hon? Meet is in teh horse-spittal…
is otay, dey has let him owt juss fur teh Fashun Show… he be back inna Horse Piddle layter
YAY! Dey sets him fwee jest fur us!!! **swoons** Ai feel sew important!
I’m here. Not sure where the others are…
They must be getting dressed…
WHUT??? Stoopy YNG’s!
.
plz to be getting onna lolphone adn findy teh rest! pfft!
ddat wud defeet da porpoise ob a YNG.
*snerk*
*Standz neggst tu red carpet wif awto graf buk in hand.
*Waving adn blowing kisses at awl deh silly ebriteez.
*Stans next to cweenmj*
*waches in awe at GP handling teh sillle ebriteez.*
.
He’s reelee gud, izn’t hee???
Ah, cweenmj & Dame Janet… plz to be followy me
.
* takes Cween & Janet tu teh berry speshul guess boxes, eech wib a YNG adn drinkies & noms
Oooooh. I feeling sew speshul. Luk at awl deh lubbblee derashunz in deh box. Lotsa pinkee buntingz.
* Waves majiklol wand adn cweenfettiz filling deh air!
¤ ¶̃ Ψ Ξ ΅ ֱ Ҹ ق Ҹ
₪ ¤ ₣ۛۛ¶̃ ق ℮ ﺱ Ҹ ڿ ░ ףּ
Ψ Ξ ΅ ₪ ¤ ₣ۛۛ¶̃
.
*sip, sip, nom, nom, nom
Thanking u GP! Dis b wundermus!!!
hmm, note tu self… Refresh!
But Deer GP – yoo ar AWLWAIZ refreshing! Laik a balmee summer breeze.
* blush *
Did u say “balmee” or “barmee”?
An ai am feline verree speshul, too!! {{{{{lcb}}}}} {{{{GP}}}}}
and noms!! *sip sip sip*
.
This iz a moast happee dai fur Cheezland. Awl teh Cheezpeeps ar shur to hav a most wunderful taim. An ai thank yoo az well fur teh drinies – chonklit martoonee
.
Hmmm . . .teh appul slyces dipt in teh karamel sauce ar teh YUM!!
*nibbul nibbul nibbul*
*leenz ober deh railing tu tother box,
Greetingz, Dame Janet. U b lukking luvlee az uzull. izn’t dis a fine fashun show ower frenz hav organ eyezd? Awl deh peepz b just deeliteful!!
They ar moar than deliteful. An. . .there iz just wun thing missing to maek this totallee purrfekt.
.
*sip sip sip* *sluuuurlp* There!
.
Yoo luked reelee grate out there awn teh runway. Ai neerlee missed mai Q!!
.
An did yoo see Ambercat in her . . .bicycle outfit?? An awl teh odder outfits!
Moast in genius!!
.
*taeks another choklit martoonee* ‘
*watches awl teh fantastical cheezfrenz*
.
*sip sip sip*
Ai kin haz wun 2?
He’s come a long way, fer shure. U shoulda seen him when I first
orderednicely asked him to start calling teh sillebrities up on teh lolphone. He wept like a religious statue!But some hard work, harder labor and many menacing threts has turned him into quite teh fabulous flonquais.
Don’tcha lubs his Schnozzberry earpiece? Looks like he’s rilly talking to somebuddy onnit.
Dah-ling!!! Ware ar yu??? We has teh red carpit awl reddy…
.
uh huh? uh huh… reeley? juss tell him tu put sum moar creem onnit… it be fyne.
.
whut? O shore, wii has xtra YNG’s juss fur yu… yeah, LCB issa heer tu awl rolled inna Oats oar sumfing – smells grate, akshully!
.
Otay, see yu inna minute… kthxbai Angie
Laydees, Genteelmens (adn LCB) plz to try adn controlling yur shelves…
.
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie will be heer inna no thyme!
grrr…ware b Happycat?? i wants mah munneez bak!
well, akshly i sneekded in, but… WHU DA STOOPY
PERSIN FURGOT 2 INVIET HAPPYCAT??
i can has riot till he gits heer? *ebil smirks*
psst! dere mai juss be a berry berry speshul surpwise guest at teh end ob teh show… adn WARE issa yur ticket plz?
uh…heer!
*hands giness piggeh a pees ob toste*
*den kwikly goez nd gits froot punch*
om nom nom nom
.
nao, whut WAS ai doing?
U was chekkin ur guest list!
Angelina nd
Brad nd
Craig Ferguson nd
D…
Daniel Craig,
Ewan McGregor,
Fronsch guize,
G’s – YN wons
Harrison Ford
Ingrid Bergman
Jude Law
K…
Kira Knightly
Liza Minnelli
Oprah Winfrey
P. . .
Prince William
Quentin Tarantino
Robert Downey Jr.
Susan Sarandon
Tina Turner
uma thurman
valentino
wikid wich ob teh vest
x…
Xavier Cougat!!!!
Yul Brinner
Zero Mostel
.
**Takez a deep bow.
*runz off stage
*muffled floofee clappitee clap calp*
.
*veree loud* BRAVA CWEENMJ!!!
A bravura purrrrrfurmance there at teh end!!
Pee Wee Herman
Queen Latifa
Robert Redford
S…
ooooooohhh Craig Fergison !!!!!
.
WANT !!!!! *swoons*……hez sew cyute, an gotz dat lobberly akksent..an sew witty an debonare !!
Paula Abduhl
Queen Latifah
Rod Stewart
S…
Paul McCartney
Q frum Satr Terk
Russell Crowe
S
speshul coreSPAndint lunarmommy heer, reporting live frum teh spa at teh hotel wher teh lunarhubby iz going to boring meetings. i iz trying to type on himz laptop, wich i’z not yoosed to, so plz to eggscyooz my typos. thx.
.
an owr furst feechure frum teh spa iz… the CHONKLIT CHIP KOOKIE RETREET!!! (i iz notmaking tehse up, tehse are being frum teh spa broshur, translamated into lolspeek for yor conbenyience.) “ohai, we comibnes teh nachral eggs-folyent ob koko been hukses wif teh chonklit plant to gently remoov yor old skin sells – a total body klensing wif teh sweet sent ob chonklit chip kookies!!”
.
LM to lady getting spa treetmint: how duz yoo feel, madam, all rubbd over liek dis wif teh smell ob teh chonklit chip kookies”
.
Spa lady: Why are you talking funny? Never mind, I have never felt so relaxed and… delicious in my whole — AAHHHHHH!!
.
LM: oh mai, dis iz awful. a big shaggy bloo monster haz just runned up yelling “me want kookie!!” an putted the lady in teh oven!! now him iz staring in teh oven window an drooling!! hmm,seems like dis treetmint shuld come wif a warning or sumfin…anyhoo, i now return yoo to teh fabyoolus fashun show!!
*fitez off flashbak tu Hansel adn Gretel story.
*handz monster a chokklit chip cookee.
*pullz lady owt uv uvin.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. u du smelling gud. Adn deh uvin haz givinged u a hell-thy tan!!
*haz falshbak to Hasel and Gretle storee – fawlz over laffing*
*Duz teh saem*
our cween-beauty n branes-we r so lucky(nawt to menshun lucky chawlit lady)
GMTA!!
dis iz won uv mah berry favritists lolz
Mee 2! Skared my kitteh frum lafing!
Oh, Noes!
Kitteh Eats Whole MLB So Teh Cubs Can Finally Wins World Series!
Giant Kitteh attacks!!!
o NOES…The orange wons be poysin…and prolly O’s!!! Doan eet Markakis!!!! Doan eet Roberts!!! Um…yew can has oar pitching staff, tho…
plz tew eet teh mariners……… mebbeh we can haz gud teeeem next year???
mebbe tehy kin eets da marinersez’ compatishun, nd DEN dey wud
b da best teem. oar mebbe nawt…duz u want tehm 2 win oar luse?
Furgit dat, pleese tew eet teh Yankees!!!!! **gits awn hands n knees tew CC**
yesh, an der’s a rawrrrrrrrrr frum teh crowd
Nom teh yankees
nom teh yankees
nom teh yankees
nom teh yankees
nom teh yankees
nom teh yankees
ad nauseum!!
Oh Hai!! Dis b ur cheezpeepz map update.
A link b provided in deh kolunee’z marker’z commint tu taking u tu deh
So I haz mading a master list uv
So I b settuling fur
.
I haz maded sevrul sub-mapz (Florida, Virginia, and uzzerz) ov deh major
Cheezpeep Koluneez. Dis b makingz deh main map more manajiblol.
kolunee’z map. And deh commint haz a list uv peepz in dat kolunee.
.
Unfortchinitlee, now wen u b lukking fur a peep on wun uv deh sub mapz, u
not noeing witch map to lukking at.
Cheezpeepz/lokayshunz and postinged it on mai blog. Then I tried to
putting deh link tu deh master list in deh map descripshun, but googlee
duznt rekkognitize html in dat field. GRRSH!!!
puttinged deh address in dere, but it not b bloo. U will haz tu copying
und pasting. *sigh*
.
Deh map b at:
http://www.maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&ll=44.412202,-92.823486&spn=0.847561,1.763306&z=9&msid=103775879896697322828.0004573f951750ea89599
.
Deh master list b at:
http://www.cweenmj.wordpress.com/ichc-helperz/master-list-uv-cheezpeepz/
.
If u liking tu luk at deh map a lot, I rekkermending u putting bof uv dese
on ur favritz/bookmark list.
.
tu gtting on deh map emayo mii at cweenmj@gmail.com wif ur ICHC name and ur lokayshun.
.
Menne thankz tu awl deh peepz hu haz sedded deh kind werdz tu me bowt dis
liddul endever. I lubz u awl.
o hai mai leeje! arr yu reddy tu taek yur seet fur teh Fashun Show?
.
Hu arr yu waring? Yu luuks byootimuss!
I b waring deh YNG. He b sew eezee tu akksessorize!! Just a fig leef oar tu.
.
Wut??
Huh??
Dat not fig leef??
itz poysin ivy leefz?
ooo. sry bowt dat!
taht’s gunna leaf a mark.
No worries. I’ll just has my flonquais put some creem onnit. It’s a grate creem.
U mite say it’s teh balm!
*watchin as GP leeds YNG away 2 get teh balm*
how com GP getz alla gud jobs?
“gud jobs”????
u getz to put balm onna YNG whoo wuz wearin nuffin but poysin ivy? sounz lyke a gud job 2 me!
issa awl yurs tessm! ai has lebretees tu swoon ober! brb
um…i jus feelz… awkwerd bowt dis job…
awl urs. taek et. PLEEZ.
Hold on! I just rembered taht a good remedy for teh poisin ivy is oatmeal! And I just happens to be waring a dress made outta rolled oats!
*applies YNG to dress*
I’ve never enjoyed poisin ivy moar!
speekin ob fuds on peeples, heer iz lunarmommy wif anovver speshul report frum teh spa at teh hotel wher hubby is going to boring meetings!! owr next feechur frum teh spa is teh ABOCADO EGGSPERIENCE!! (agin, tehse r being frum teh akshual spa broshur, translamated into lolspeek for yor convenyence.)
.
“refresh teh body frum hed to toe wif owr Avocado Eggsperience, kthx. dis soffening body skrub applied wif teh gentul sirkyoolar moobments will refresh yor skin. tehn yor body will be cocoond in a warm applicayshun ob owr yooneeke abocado body mask an revitalolized wif a massajing applicayshun ob abocado loshun.”
.
i kan see teh spa kustommer tahts bin rubbed an cocooned an ebreefing, an now herz just layin tehr all relaksed-like and cobered wif mashed abocado… an now the spa masooses in wite yooniforms are bringin owt bowls ob tortiya chips an a cupple pitchurs ob margaritas… luks liek party time!!
.
an now bak to teh fashun show!!
Thx 4 ur reports, LM! That sounds fabulous. Is all teh fud-covered spa peeps watching us on teh big-screem tv?
jamamakitty noms sum whack a mole!! *needs tew be chilled a liddel*
oh, yes, tehy curtinly iz.
an i iz teeling tehm all how much bettur yor hunnert-dollar twolzez are tant these liddle cheepo playn wite twoelz at teh spa. i meen, hoo wants playn wite wen yoo kan haz a hunnert-dollars printed on yor towl?
O that’s vry nice of u, LM!
Plz to be remindifying teh spa peeps that they can gets their towels here:
http://www.hullcloth.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=186
RUN 4 UR LIFES!!!
*Haids beee-hind sofa*
…BREAKING MEWS…
If we assume dat teh kitteh is eeting teh B’more Orioles, becuz ov teh Orgine colour, and that he is eetin’ number 45 at teh moment…Dennis Sarfate is bein’ inhumed…which beez funni, becuz hims is a pitcher IRL.
Yep, looks like teh pitcher is being taken out of teh game. And NOT looking happy about it!
Ai NOM-n-8 dis 1 fur teh baasbol hawl uv faem.
Teh ICHC Lol of Fame, in Hamburg, NY?
mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1495714
Ai chewz dis player. 4get teh p-nutz n krakerjakx
*LCB appears, dressed in teh very latest in Oat Cuture, an outfit made entirely from rolled oats. Teh buttons are made from raisins and she stinks as pretty as she looks thanks to a cloud of teh latest scent, Sirop d’Erable*
O hai, guise.
I’m here on teh red carpets. It’s teh majickle, watching all teh cheezpeeps and sellebrities arrive, decked out in their finest fancy duds. Let’s talke to some of these fancy duds.
Step rite up smile pouty for teh maginary camra, and tell us who/whut/why/when ur waring.
*strolls onto red carpet, wearing… whut? A werk uv art?*
)
mai proposal foar lolcat-inspyred art wuz nawt chozen foar teh IRL art show, sew ai haz 2 ware it 2 teh ICHC fashun show!
It iz a “LOL gown”! (kinda lyke a ball gown, but differunt…)
.
hazza fitted blak vellvet bodiss, wiv sweetheart neklyne an slytlee floofy sleeves,
full skurt uv blak taffeta wiv small gold polkadotz (oooh….. dots!!),
an a overskirt uv sheer an sparklee gold toolle, wiv printed pikshurs uv awl mai fayvorit lolcatz onnit!
bodiss alsew haz teh ICHC logo emblaz… emabl… stuk onnit, inna sparklee cullerful rhynestonz! (fankyoo dahlink, ai “borrowd” sum frum teh bottomless rhynestone kit ai gived u foar ur burfdae…
uv corse, u must haz teh propurr accessamarizees foar teh purrfik onsombull… !
sew ai alsew has teh blu bukkit hanbag (wiv MOAR rhynestonz!) anna pair uv blak LOLfers.
Say tray sheek, nes-paw?
*pushing lolrus away frum nuzzling Tessm’s hanbag* oh, i’m in awe of tasty dress of lcb n teh sparkly dress of tessm!
Thx! *air-kisses Kayjoy’s cheeks*
Tell us ’bout whut ur waring.
oh hai, Kayjoy here honoring autumn n Canadia by wearing a dress made entirely of ren n sugar maple leaves. Like my hat of purple n white asterz?
ahem…RED maple leefz
Dharrrrrrrrrrrling teh suugar simply devine, teh leefs a trihumph. Let us hoep fall is nawt too urly dis yeer.
*blushes-(hadn’t thot of this asspect)* Me,too!
wud bee tray fronsch, nes-paw?
U look fab, dahlink! U are walking, talking proofs that it is no coincidence that ICHC can be rearranged to spell CHIC!
Ladies and Gennelmans! (and GP) Rite now on teh red carpet is teh kwintessenchully fabulous JCH4K!
O hai, Janet. *air kisses* Tell us about whut ur waring.
“ICHC = CHIC”
LCB, u haz bin wurkin on taht wun foar dayz, hazzint u?
*digs designer-shoo-clad foot into red carpet*
Only since yesterday.
oh mai manolo blahniks! u iz tray clebber.
Well, I HAS studied at teh Sore Bun.
LOL!! An taht”s teh troof!!!
Sore Bunions?
inna manolo blahniks, aifinkso, yes
*prancez awnto red carpet waring a stylish cheezfrends map blankie drayped lyke a toga, matching CHRG (wif charakshurs uv celebs) awn hed, ultra dark HGGs tew hyde idenimy & riding cashually ober de lef showlder (purrin lyke a owtbord motor) a blak & wite kitteh naymed Tucker & ober de rite showlder a free cullered stripey swirley kitteh (wif pointy endz dug in fer trakshun) named Murphy.
O, Kajoy and BF473! U both look utterly stunning! Have some shampers and horse d’oerves while teh YNGs come by to extort u to ur seets!
extort meh?? dey hav nao proof dat ai did dat ting dat ai compleetly denie & doan reemememember anyhoo!
*sips shampers & noms horse d’orves* Ai hoap deze r anwt maik uv reel horses, ahm trine 2 cut down.
*wavez lyke a goober 2 celebs*
ohhhh arrrrr tehm akzesorris are sooooo kyoot
an ur catsoot is simplee faaaabuluss!
*air kiss*
Tessm! Yr sew beautimaus in yr gown! Teh bloo rhynestonie bukkit is jus teh purrfect addishun!
Teasel! *air kisses* Welcome to teh red carpets. That’s a interesting onsombel that u are waring. Tell us about it. Ware did u get those shoos?
Weel, in honor ob teh NW, I iz waring a ballgown wiff a bodice ob plaid flannel woben wiff sparklee bloo an red freds, a denim skirt wiff rainstones (cleer, ob corse) sprinkled on eet, an leather hiking boots frum teh outdoor store. Fur aksessories, Ai hab a green bakpak made owt ob liddle trees, an Ai hab a stole made owt ob teh beaver pelt (faux) ober mai shollders.
oh, teh faux fur iz alla rayge tihs yeer! berry CHIC!
*on way 2 hide in nawty barn*
oh hai, teasel- luv ur country girl look,…say ohai 2 Johnny 4 me!
Fanks, Kayjoy! Wud yu b sew kynd as tu take maryland belle tu teh NB tu an LOCK hers up fur awhile?
K,thx,bai,offtothevanwithjohnny.
Ms. Belle?.. Ms. Belle?… paging a Ms. Belle to teh nawty barn…
Shhh! Guise! The fashun show has started upthred.
oh, mare-cee bow-coo!
ai lurves teh floofy aksessoreez uv BF73! whai didnt ai fink 2 bring a kitteh in mai bukkit??? *has a jelus*
an kayjoy’s leeves r beeyotimus!! ai just hope they last… u knoes if it gets windee owt heer, cud bee unforchunate.
wurds can not add e qwackly decrybe mai owchfit aie tuk a foto
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http://www.mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=2255875
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a pix IZ worth a thousand werdz- thank u, Muh
It wud taking moar dan a towsind werdz tu deskribing dat!!! Sew brite ad kulerfullz.
O my! A catsuit, suitable for teh catwalk! Well done, MUH! Heer, has a saucer of shampers and someone will be along to show u to ur seat.
thnx LCB plz to shuve sawser unner the hat else aie kant c sew well
taht iz… wow. i finds myslef speechless. fabyooloso.
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me, sinse i iz at teh spa, i iz wering a hunnert-dolloar twole rapped arownd me. (gots my burple swimsoot on underneef, just in case.) i iz hopin taht sinse i iz alreddy in a twoel, teh larj spa-massoose ladies in wite yooniforms will fink i haz alreddy had treetmint an will not rub mashed fud all ober me, plzkthzyuck
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oh, an i haz teh twol fassend wif a little brooch taht i gotten frum teh smae bubblegum masheen wher i gotted LCB’s burfday prezzie.
http://www.modernsilver.com/septemberupdate/tiffanydaimbrch.JPG
**struts**
Ai simply had nawt nee tiem tew shop, sew Ai jest pulled down sum curtains an’ maed a pretty little dress.
**flounces about**
Huh. An’ ebbrywon tole meh dat watchin’ Gone Wif Wind & Soun’ ov Muzic sew much wud nevair come tew anyfing!
U saw it in de window & had 2 hab it?
But ov korse, deerheart! It is such a fetching shade…Ai simply had a goggie get it doan fur meh! **snerk**
kittehz r gud @ that,2. may i tieback ur hair fur u?
Curtain-ly….**giggle**
*heddesk* adn *faispaw*
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GROAN
Yai! Ai maed such a bad pun yew heddesked…dis biiiig dai fur meh!
Desk? DESK??? There’s no desks on red carpets!
* gets up frum 10 minnut brake…
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Otay, LCB – teh YNG’s arr awl inna lyne reddy to start teh nawt sekkund Catwalk Show! – plz to be intwodeuceing, fankies
But all teh cheezpeeps and sillebrities is not here yet!
EEP! * pushes YNG’s bakk stage – mebbeh stagehanddan can lukk affer dem fur us!
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I can has an udder 10 minnut brake?
DENIED!
Ai can go kidnap sum sillebrities, mebbeh?
That’s a good idear. But don’t muss them up too muches.
Uff!
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* watches next limo arrive…
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Laydees anna Gentulmens (adn LCB): Brad & Angie!
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* Angie kisses GP onna cheek – GP faints
**runs in wif a sack, huffing an’ puffing**
Ai…ai…**catches bref**
Ai kidnapped Helena Bonham Carter!!!! TADA!!!!!
**does happy dance**
Sew, Ms. Carter…what was it like tew sing wif Johnny Depp? Iz yer significant ovver (Tim Burton) as weird as hims seems? Ai MUST KNOW!!!!!!
Johnny Depp? Dided sumwun sayz Johnny Depp??!?!??
Iz he commin, GP? Pls tu sayz YESH!
(He daon habe tu be bringin his gurlfren or kiddlets, pls)
Oh yesh, akshully he is teh late…
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* picks up lolphone
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Johnny, Dah-ling… ware is yu? Yu is berry berry late – LCB is sooo gonna hed batr yu awl ober teh plaice!
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Fyre, yu sai? destroyed yur hole hawse adn awl yur clothes? Oh noes! Huh? shore, juss turn up nekkid adn we’ll gibes yu a Hunnert Dollar Towel to ware
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Otay, see yu soon! kthxbai!
* grabs lolphone frum lolpigburglar
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AI will maek teh phone calls! adn put yur moose stash on propply!
Doose wii haz tu gibe hims a towel, hunnert dollar or otherwise?
0_0 Depp? Here? Nekkid?
I has died an gowne tew heaven?
* Johnny’s limo arrives
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Teasel, plz to be ‘halping’ Johnny out… fankies
GP, it’s time, i think. Shall we start?
Heer Ai iz, Johnny!!!! Ooooo….yr nekkid! Sry, we ar owt ob towels….pls tu come wiff me….tu many peeples heer an yu bein nekkid an awl….an prolly cold, tu, from teh luks ob *tings*. Heer, I jus hapenz to habe a VW van rite heer….less go insyde an git yu awl warmed up……
*Teasel an Johnny disappearz*
Dare wii? ai has tuu much ob teh egg site ment!!!
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Otay, yu start…
**snatches awn tew Johnny’s arm befoar vanishment…shall naow plai tug of war wife teasel**
Is myne!!!
Noes!!! Ai saws him nawt sekkind!!! An GP gibes him tu ME!
Yu jus let goes ob hims, maryland belle!
An AI meanz rite nao!!
Ai sawed hims last Saturdai, so neh!
ai is NAWT getty inbolbed!
*microfone feedbacks*
Ok, brake it up, brake it up. There’s enuff Jonny Depp to go round.
Plz to take ur seets now, because teh fashion showing portion of teh fashun show is about to begin.
My flonquais, GP, will narrate…
*lites go down, flashy lites play on teh catwalk and tekno music begins to play*
Umm, yesh… Otay… heer wii goes…
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* WEEEEK WEEEEK WEEEEK *
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O Hai Cheezfrends, Lebretees, YNG’s, YNG’s, Lurkers, Trolls adn LCB
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Welcum, Welcum, Welcum tu teh Nawt Sekkund Annual Guinness Piggeh / LCB Fashun Show inna teh Byootimuss JanetCanHas4Kittehs Amphitheatre
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* LCB holds up “Applause” sign
Applause sign! Give me all ur moneys!
Otay! Nawt Sekkund onna Kittehwalk is oar berry own, much beloved lolcatburglar waring “Oat Cuture”
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GP hold up “OOO, AHH” sign
**is sitting on floor next to Depp, clinging to hims leg**
*Makes way along catwalk, sholders in, tummy out, worst foot forward…*
* bats at maryland belle wib “OOO, AHH” sign
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Otay, up next wii has Cweenmj showing off her new “Dubble Xtra Floofy Chhezmap Blankie” – perfick fur eben teh biggest SPLORT
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LCB holds up “Wii arr nawt werthy” sign
**mutters** Ooo, ahh, wii nawt wurthurs!
*heddesk* AGEN
**whispers** Well, wii nawt. Ai is nawt hard candee!
*faispaw*
GP! Pull urself together! JCH4K is up next!
*Twurls adn struts off stage.
*Iz berry prowd tu only tripping a little bit.
*clappity clappity, cat cawl cat cawl* Strut it laydees!
**giggles**
Yai ebbrywon!
LAYDEES & GENTEELMENS!
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Oar berry berry spehsul guest – Janet… Can… Has… 4… Kittehs!!!!11elebnty!!1!!
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* crowd goes wyld
WOOOOOOO HOOOOOO JKH4K!!!!!!
* GP rushes onna stayge wib microfone
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Janet, plz to be telling us about yur outfit…
Yai ebbrywon~!
Yai ebbrybodi!
Ai’m Heer!! Ai’ve just goan retro – waring a layte 60s lawnt whytte dress wiv beeding awn teh arms an V-neklion!
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But – ai am waring mai hundert dollar towwel az a sort of a caype.
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It’s pinned to mai shourlders wif two beeg amber pinz awn ecch side.
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an ai’m waring silber heelz.
WOW! Janet, taht is teh byootimuss dress!
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nao, plz tu be getting changed into yur otter outfit fur teh sekkund show layter
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fankies! LCB – hu is awn next?
Ai pologize fur awl teh yais, buh my interwebs was acktin up…
* directs sekkurity to remoove MB from stayge
*Ai finks sumwun haz had tu, tu many martoonies*
**shakes hed** Ai’ll jest hole unto Mr. Depp’s leg an’ be reeeeelly quiet. I pwomise. **maeks puppydog eyes at GP**
Representing teh concept of rugged chic, Teasel is next!
**mutters** Aniwai, iz nawt martoonies, iz dat pot an’ half ov cawffee Ai called breakfast…
*whipurrrs to mb* Ai think iz teh noo page thing teh cheezes did. Ai dont think it i a gud idea!! Ai cudn’t find mee fur at leest 5 minnits!!
ewe cahn neber hav 2 mush cheerin, ifinkso! woot woot!!!
HeeHee, Awl yu gotz iz his leg…Ai haz teh rest ob himz!
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Ai pawmise tu bes kwiet nao. Pls to git awn wiff teh show!
sekkuritee – plz to be putty MB inna nawty barn until she behabes… fankies.
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Ah, ai see teasel is on stayge – hao long did yu spend makey yur outfit?
*OH! Aix awn! Runs to catwalk*
*Ai tries to be gracefull in mai hikiing boots, but stumblols a liddle*
*Makes a not-sew-graceful spin an showers the audeeince wiff rain drops*
*Stumblols auf teh stage (stoopie boots!)*
**protests Nawty barn. Maeks signs and stages sitin in front of teh stage**
I has decided tew suceed frum yer show and barn an’ tew taek Mr. Depp wif meh.
**flounces off wif J. Depp befoar aniwon reelizes whuts goan on**
Oh, an’ Souf Kakalaki knows how to suceed.
Oh, bout 2 minnutes–I haz awl teh stuff inna mai closet awlready..NW evening ware it is.
**cheers** Ai liek yer boots Teasel! Dey berry cyoot!
SEKKURITEE! plz to be putting Johnny, Teasel adn MB inna nawty barn…
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uff. otay, back tu teh show!
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Hu’s awn next LCB?
Psssst…hey Teasel?
Next up is Jonny Depp. Send Teasel and MB off to teh NB wifout him.
Yesh! Ai noes wot yur tinking! Kinky tymes in teh NB!! Wii kin share!
Lets goe!
No, LCB, you no can has Johnny back!!!
Ai means NOE, nawt wiff owt JD! Aniwais, hes nekkid!
Tewtally off topic, but haow manee chillens dew y’all fink get awn here and reed dis stuff?? Are wii erupting teh eweth?
* pries Johnny awf MB & teasel
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ah, Johnny ai see yu is waring won ob LCB’s [in]famous Hunnert Dollar Towels adn onna hed, yu has a berry nyce FCHRG(wdoi) – issa berry, berry Cheezchic lukk… nao, plz to be gibbing us a gud show
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* “Hawt Chokklit, Ai Beleebe inna Miwacles” plays…
Sry, GP an LCB
MB iz a baaaad influenza awn mii.
Ai wil leabe nao an stay in the NB.
Pls continue yr mos wunnerful show!
Sew…Sexy tiem in teh NB!!!!!
(^five exclaimation points, the sure sign of a disturbed mind^)
**mutters** Lieked it better when JD wuz wearing MB an’ Teasel…**grumble**
phew… well, wii no needs tu see DAT agen aifinkso!
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Otay… nao wii can has teh intermishun b4 teh sekkund part ob teh show.
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YNG’s will be serving Horse Doovers, Sordid Chokklit Anni Mules, Hawt Chokklit, Chokklit Martoonies, Cheezburgers adn Gushifuds out by teh JCH4K Fowntain
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* goes fur a lie down inna dark ruum…
Ai are sworry GP, Ai pwomise tew be gud fur sekond half of show.
is otay… ai ment Johnny Depp nekkid – DO NOT WANT!
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LCB – plz to be maky shore ebberywon gets suming tu eet; dey will needs energee fur teh sekkund part ob teh show… speshully when… well, wii keep it seecrit fur nao!
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brb
Heer LCB, Ai maed ebbrybodi bakon cheezburger pizza! Plez tew gib tew ebbrybodi!!
Wii jus wanteded tu bee shur dat yu gotz gud cobberaj bai teh tabloloids. Dey doan dew teh cobberaj iffn ders no shenaniginses! But wii ar dun nao. Ai fur wun ar eggshaustid.
Ai kin haz pizza? Ai hungree nao. Needz 2 eet.
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Hai, Johnny. U b lukin gud 2dai. Commin obur 2 sittin wif miii in mai buf? Noe? Okai. Ai hazzuh YNG in mai buf enywai.
MB, ai am blinded bai teh sheer byootee uv ur lubbley dress!!
It’s from Italy. Venetian, I thinks.
Oh, jest the hoops are Venetian…teh rest iz…um…**reads tag** Frum Laura Ashlee…Ah! Dat ‘splains teh floweryness!
FTW
Bluesfan 
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U look beatimous n lib up to ur naem Maryland Belle indeed
O fank yew!
An yer owtfit iz most becomin’…Ai saw teh pickture! Wuvwe!
Pls tu stay aweigh frum teh Donkey iffin seh comes! Yr mos fabuluss owtfit wud b gon inna minuette!
yesh, teh OAT couture wud quikly become NAWT couture!
O_o Does yew meanie dair wud be a nekked LCB runnin’ round? Buh…buh…LCB wud steel sumwone else’s clothings!
she myte hav a raysin oar 2 left… ai donut knoes if donkees lyke raysinz…
Donkees eet ebbryfing, ifinksew.
u knoes, foar a FASHUN show, tehr r a lot uv NEKKID peeps runnin arouwnd…??
Fashun, flashin’. Who cares? It’s all fabulous.
*Ophelia wakz in, dewin Strai Kitteh Strut, wearin uh bootiful dress ub whait roas petilz, bootiful fairee wingz, adn a large pink flower-like hat* Hai gaiz. Hao b teh show?
“mek more homerns or i noms u” treinr kiteh sez
Buh…buh…teh widdle mens is tryin!
Mebbe dis help da Cubs do betters in playoffz next year?
Go go Katzilla!
Hai cheez “staz’s” i comes fur dis fashion show…i gots mee pirate outfit on…fluffy boots and mee fluffy eye patch plus mees iz newbie…
Welcome, Tiggles!! Ai lubbs yr pyrate owtfit!
ooh, a pierat!! we needed wun – we gots a johnny depp, but apparently himz nakid. or sumfin. (wering teazel an MB, mebbee) but we haz no pierate cloves yet! welkom, an fank yor for showin us yor fluffy boots an eyepatch – trooly fabyooloso!
Forget about the infield fly rule– try and figure out what the call is for *this*!
ifn it were futball I’d say intererence onna plai but aie noes nuffin abawt bazebal
I am charter member of KETP – Kittehs Eating Tasty People
I iz wearing a little back dress wid mah yogeh kitteh
draped around my shoulders as a purty shawl
an red peep toe shooz
oh, ur wrap iz adorablol! can ai petz it?
oh, striped accsessorryz r so “in” this seeson- n yours iz purring, Purrfect!
obcourse, but he may bite..
2K! *air kisses*
We see ur 1 kitteh, but whare is u waring teh tother one?
*air kisses LCB back*
oh herz ar 2 massive to carry around
but I carriez the bag made from her shedded furz
(herz ar a fur factry)
xsqueeze madam ur shawl seems tew be eetin mai choklaits….
YAI ! tP ref ftw! greebo rules!
Ai apollergize fer inneruptin dis thred wif such shaimless sef-promoshun butt……wun uv mai lols fynally maid it 2 de front paige uv de lolgoggies, mai nawt sekond lol 2 be feetured aneeware.
Ai hoap u-awl wil taik a mo 2 view and
send me munneeadmyre itz! kaithxwootaimaidafruntpaige!well done Bluesfan aie hab a proud fur u. Haba fluute ob champagne
Concatulashions! Ai gibes yew a martoonie fur yer victori! Ai had mai Nawt-seckund up awn ICHC lastest munth…eet wuz a big moment, I wemember! Glad yew cud join club!
Hilarious! This is the best one recently, maybe best EVAR! definitely going into my favorites
*A Rick Shaw pulls up to teh red carpit an Ambercat steps owt*
Ai is waerin nek-to-ankul lycra wiv padded pudenda an go-faster stryps. Ai is acksessorysing wiv mai byk helmet wich, in tern, is sporting rarver ffetching kitteh eers. Ai is awlso waerin a fullee funkshunning byk-bell bangul and tippity tappity, fawl flat awn yur facey, clip-into-yur peduls shoos, wiv diamante heels. Waivin ree gully at teh craud, Ai librally dis pence floress…flourecs…fluro…glo-in-teh-dark snapbands baerin teh ICHC logo and pikchurs ob cheezburgers!
@@@@@
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mmm… lycra… i can has s’il vous plait?
Tankyu for teh burgers – Ai can has tehm layter; unfortoonamately, tihs lycra sykling owtfit wus maed for me som tym ago an seems to hav…errr… shrunk! Yeh, taht’s it; awl mai cloves has got smawler! It needed 3 strawng YNGs, a pynt ob olivoyl an a cupple of shoohorns to get me into it so Ai daernt eet a fing or Ambercat myt be bustin owt awl ober!
An yoo ar luking troolee luverley!!! Ai ai luvs teh helmet. Ai think ai need wun ov those! Cud dubble az a Valkyrie helmut, purrrrrhaps???
*pssst*
Comedy shwr caps fit byk helmuts byootifully. Srsly! Ai has a froggy wun BUT Ai has juss spotted a kitteh wun! WANT!!
LOL!!! Ai’ve nebber seen a comdedy shwr cap!! Ai think ai just dont get aut enuf!!
Well, wun dusnt yooshully waer tehm “out”, most peeps waer shwr caps , errr, in teh shwr!
Ooooo ambercat bery stylesh n hairy dye manik, mai aie hab wun ob them glowie bands plzethnx
*thinks–padded pudenda?–maybe patted..go-faster?*
grate Caturday owtfit!-u go, girl!
thanks fur teh glowy tings.
ohhhh- 4 bicycling- i get it!
*embarrassed-takes self 2 nawty barn in hides 4 rest of day*
godzilla kitteh invades Tokyo… well, sorta….
IMPORTINT ANNOUNCEMENT
May I has ur fabulous attenshuns? We has now surpassed 200 comments, so plz to be using teh “Show all” link at teh top and bottom or ur screen to see all teh comments added to teh first page after teh second one appeared.
Now back to more fashun fun!
* snerk * wii borked it!
az long az we iz innerpted… heer iz anovver live report frum the spa at teh hotel wher teh lunarhubby iz going to boring meetings!! (an i am yoozing himz old an very slow laptop, i bin telling him for 3 or 4 yeerz now him needz noo pyooter, but duz him lissen to me? no. “it still wurks,” he sez. eben wen teh hard drive wented “clunk clunk clunk crash” him just buyed noo hard drive an putted it in old slow compyooter. plus the wireless heer keeps playin peek-a-boo. i’z aobwt to gib up.
)
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anyhoo, owr next feechur frum teh spa – teh Punkin Pi Excape!! (agin, tehse are all reely frum teh reel-life spa broshure – i culdn’t make dis up, just translamaing it into lolspeek for eezy reeding) “Punkin iz knowd for its hi consuntrayshun ob anteeoxidents taht fite! an nom! an killz! teh effex ob ajing. teh nachral aktib enzime in punkin will eggs-folyate an be nutrishus for yor skin, ifinkso.teh serbiss begings wif a dry brush an continyooz wif teh applycashun ob teh punkin followd wif cocooning. teh body iz rinsed an massajed wif punkin body butter.”
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*wispers* an now, unbenowntst to teh spa staff, i haz arranjed for teh lady getting teh punkin treetmint to haz, absololutely free, teh extra Cheezland Nawty Barn Speshul!!*
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*two YNGs run into teh spa an spray teh lady wut hadded teh punkin pi treetment all ober wif wippy kreem!! an ebreefing else in teh spa!! an now teh very larj an muskyoolar spa massoose ladies in white unifomrs are chasing me away!!*
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that’s all for today frum teh spa!! enjoy teh rest ob teh fashun show!!
i liek dis kitteh. he promotz teh mostarz
This October…
The ultimate horror movie…
NOM!
The Oriole’s. They haz a flavor
Yes, yes they do. Is called “Old Bay”.
*homer* mmmmm, UTZ Crab Chips
*cue Tails ob teh Unnekspekted moosik*
In wun ob tohse freekee “art reflekting life/IRL mirroring ICHC” coinkydinks: Ai wus juss in Borders teh bukshop an tym-steeler, bying burfdai cards, wen Ai sor, syd by syd, nekst to ee chudder an bofe togevver…..a card wiv a kitteh, waering a burlgr mask, AND a card wiv a ppinny gig, waering a trilby hat! Ai wanted to by tehm, to sho yu awl but Ai donut has eberywun’s address!
OMCC – issa lyke fayte!
Ai wanted to tell peeps in teh shawp but Ai’d awlreddy stud an snikkerd at “Pets wiv Tourettes” so thort Ai’d best not dror ennymore attenshun to maiseff!
ohai ambercat …. are yew sure, reeely sure, that yew saw those in the burfday card section? are yew sure it wuzzn’t in teh magazeen secshun? Maybee what yew saw was the cover of the new, hawt-off-teh-presses issue of UsPeepleStarCosmoWeeklyEnquireerTabloid? Teh wun wif teh big cuver story on teh Fashun Show? aim just sayin.
::Strolls in wearing a grey suit and tie with uh white shirt::
*Awcumpaneed by Leslie Nielsen*
Besbawl bin berii, berii gud tu mii
*anownser voice* An naow a gyant kitteh haz borken owt awn de feeld, letz see wat de managerz wil dew. Yesh, dere portestin dis substatushun and…..OMG! Kittehs nomming de pichur!! Playerz r running & skreeming! Itz kaos!! O de huge manitee!!!
rolf@ huge manitee!!!
U can run, but u can’t escape, my little nomz!
This is hilarious.
BTW – yay Caturday!!!!1!
haha funny
Kitthezilla ataks agein!
phunnee-est
baseball playoff
lolcat
ebber!!!
>neerly peed mai pantses laffin at tihs wun<
y i kwit sports.
Dis cal 2 bullpen brot u bai lolvittles da only chzburgr flavr kitteh nom
Mens be relevant to mah interests.
HEADNOMNOMNOM
DAt WUZ fune
omg lol cute. i gots it as my backrownd on da skoolz compyewter
im in ur base eatin ur doodz
Nom num tates lik chikin
Bettur dan clovirfild.
Hahaha perfect! pure 100% genuis Lol!1!!
I wantz tu faborit dis LOL! I can has butt-in?