lolware removal tool v1.0 (manual version)
maek sur 2 remove da kitteh saflee.
picture: Kira Miyuki. lol caption: eyedoc
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nawt so grate, akshully
Congo-Rats on Nawt Second!
oh, fankies Michelle
.
awltho, ai has a Ty wib… * lukks down fred * … sweetpea adn leeza-b!
wib Prysm, BF473, Princessmini (oar new cheezfrend & MUH) nawt far behind!
eep! …) & MUH – mai poor typee skills, let me show yu dem!
bud ai lykes teh way yU tawlks!!! (i meen skweeks)
Well dun GP an Sweet Pea and Leeza-b – hmmm dat rimes…. awff to the ty bootike wib u
fankies! sommedy else wanna dwive? ai still has teh taranshula bytes onna mai paws
Awww pour GP hab a pint ob snaykebite – dat will cure wot ails you… on sekund fawts hab dis jar ob transhula bite creem. Hops on teh back of my bouncing noon kitteh n we soon be dere
dat be moon kitteh…
if it b noon u nawt be seeing here
* lukks atta bouncing noon kitteh in byootimuss ah-maza-a-mint adn clibs awn
* falls off inbidibul NOON kitteh adn hops onna majikal MOON kitteh
sew srry ’bout bytes! Wii can danse teh Tarentella 4 U?
(bad joke)
Haow CUDSHII???
dis be da bestest softwear ebbah!
so why remoob it? i dunno, humans be stoopy sumtiems…
But… but… I need to post a comment on ICHC!
you needz to get cher prioriteas straight, young man.
*Looks in the mirror*
Oh! You’re right!
*Straightens his priorities*
ummm, you mist a spot.
*spritzes seltzer on spot*
*ack seed entlee sprayz teh maus all ober*
there dat shud dew it.
Um… thanks. I usually take my shower in the morning, though…
but itz nawt dinnertaim yet, so itz still morning!
…
an sweetpea- yu mist a spawt too- *sprays seltzer*
Itz awlwaiz morning SUMWARE.
Uv coarse, itz awlwaiz happee howr sumware, tew!
Eye, purr son lee, like happee hour bedder dan morning… Jes sayin’…
Oh mai Ceiling Cat!!!!! Dija notise tihs lol wuz dun nbai teh famouse eyedoc???
Congrats to U eyedoc!!! Well dun! *dansdansdans* Yaaaaay!
I am prowd 2 sez dat I am frends 2 teh famus eyedoc! YAY!!!!
Hoomanz bii stoopy almoas awl teh tyme. Eksept thoaz whu lurve kittoonz. Thoaz ar SMART hoomanz.
Kitteh buys his own buk: Hoomans fur dummies.
knot “hoomans R dummies”?
Kitteh don ned buk to know dat, silleh… |3
FTW!
don’t forgets to reattach dongle.
No sees dongle. Wear izzit?
did we lose that agin?!?
hoo had it last?
Ifinkso you did!
ruh roh.
can’t we get a noo one from Hamazon?
You guys work that out. I gots to go. TTFN!
*airkiss*
has a good dae stoarmink da cassel…
sweetpea u has a b0rg conneckshun rite?
I’m SHURE they cud get us one..
my b0rg tecknowledgee is breaking doon adn needs upgraed/may tenants becuz i canna find COOKIE’SHUMAN.
wrings hans. whereowhere is cookie’s human…sob
my emoshun chip is mal funk shunning, alsew.
oh noes!
maybee u shud regenerayte for a wiles.
{{{{sweetpea}}}}
*goze oh beedy ently to kargo bay elebenty*
Yus, yu hooks yurselb upto teh green litening fingy an feelz betturr soon, k?
speekin ob Hamazon, fanks 4 yore positif botes 2 my ICHC book revooo!! an 4 nsce comit frum upfi (sp?) frum Jermanee!!! (sum naugt funnkee volkes boted aginst mii–yU can still bote! My ratings winted up, and I hass a happeh! Maybee I mayke tawp 1000 yet!)
Yesh, dat was me, trying to eggs plain to teh purrson who dint noez lolspeak why ur revjoo was byootimus and abserlutely correckt.
@@@@@, tawp notch leeza-b!
LOLZORZ
kon-grates, jenny–whut B a ZORZ? a drink? a dansey? Wii can partee noa?
Maek shur tu run daylee.
N follow all instrukshuns.
Hay, ur hands r cold!!
Please click “STOP” before removing devices
taht device alreddy luks pretty stoppd to me.
yus, definitely in sleep mode
ah, but data still corrups ifn removed in sleep mode!
spy ware u haz it
Yesh, ai doo hav spine. Y u ax?
Yess, but where yu haz it? *snerk*
hmmmmmm aie be karful how i answers dis…….
I hab spy ware in the
attic
basement
ceeling
dungeon
elevator
f…..
foyer
garden
hole-in-the-wall
i…
frunt porch
garden
humidor
I…
“G”-MTA, nightshayde!!
Oh, dere yu ar, {{{{{Aaahz}}}] dint be seing yu arownd fur abowt 2 wekez. We awlwaiz wureez abowt owr frenz wen dey nawt shoze up fur a wile.
indoor pool
jubjub tree
kitteh bed
l…
BTW, cratz,: Happee Birfdaiy, !!!!!
Y, fank you, cheshirekittehkat! How nice of you to notice!
U has birfday???? Oh, noez!! I has missed annuder!! Happy Birfday, Cratz!!!
layer kake (I wuz wonce a tree haus, I libbed inna cake, but I nebber saw teh way, teh oranj_____)
slayed teh rake! Ta Daa!!!!
linen clawzit
multee-purrpuss room
next-door-nayburz howse
o…
orinj master’s bed
privvy
quartier latin in Paris
ridiculously small kitchen
s…
z u bein teh nawty? Hmmm?
errr maibei tew c ifn it be tingling thru all dis cyoot?
hit ennee kii tew contiinuu
BUT I KANT FIND THE ANY KEY!!!!!!!!
Iz rite beeside de wun dat sais “PANIC”
hahahah~!
do Nawt hit teh PANIC button. Keepz hittin teh escape key until teh rubber raft inflates….
Teh kitteh iz sleepin on teh “any” key, aifinkso.
I yoosta tell ppl it wuz anuvver naym fur de spays bar.
daz funnee, ai muss member dat wun!
It’s right next to the “Oh Sh*t” key, one that I personally use a lot.
whai wud u want 2 remobe such floofy lolware?
so’s u can snorgles it.
Ai can haz dat sawftware?
*SSSPPPPPLLLLLOOOOORRRRTTTTT*
(ai haz a weekniss fur teh orinj wunz)
Ohnoes! Nightshayde! We has a splort sichewashun, peeps!
*WONNNNK! WONNNNK! WONNNNK!*
*Maus drives up in the new Newcueler 4WD Self-Propelled Double-Wide Debriefing Buggy*
Oopsie. Wrong cart. Sorry. Unless you WANT a debriefing…
tew lak brains an breifs wood make her a very popular gurl…
Ai wuz a popular gurl in collij eben wif teh brains.
…
*wundurrs if she haz sed too much*
…
*runz awai wif a kwikness*
sumtimes we has too toot owr own horns a tinee bit.
*halps nightshayde toot teh horn*
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
*toot* *toot* *toot*
decisionz bout debreefing maid wen braynez hav been splorted r nawt leegalee bynding aidonutfink. unles u gits it in writin.
*hands maus payper & pen*
Sorry. I’ll leave… for now…
*Maus backs away in the N4SPDWDB*
*BeeeeeepBeeeeeepBeeeeeepBeeeeeep*
Hm. U has an interesting there, maus.
Wot wud happen if u combined teh debreefing wif teh desplorting?
Perhaps teh breefs cud be re-deploid on teh hed to halp prevent teh re-splorts?
You’re getting to be as
ebilcreative as my brother. I’ll take it up with LCB!Oh I fink ur an idea man too.
And ackshully I think u’d find that teh
victimssplortees wud be much more amenabul to teh debreefing proceedure….. while missing part of their branes, that is…♫♫♫
Life’s more painless…
For the brainless…
♫♫♫
Yood hazta be BERY caerful nawt to get the breefs on teh rong hed if dere happind to be multiple simultayneeyus splorts. Mixin up teh braynes iz wun fing, but hazzin teh rong purrsun’s breefs on mah hed — DO NAWT WANT.
yesh…dat idea…shtinks…
Mebber aftur da splort rekubbree…
WEEEOOOEEEOOOEEEOOOEEEOOO!!!
Up kums CCC drybur n skreethiz 2 hawlt neer nightshayde
**sweepee sweepee sweepee braynz inna pyl**
**skoopee skoopee skoopee braynz bak inna hed**
**patteepatpat 2 smoov em awl owt agin**
**dukkeetayp 2 hoald hed 2gevvur**
**fitz bavvin kap obber nightshayde’z hed**
**snapz CHRG wif pitcherz uv liddul pooters obber cap**
**rapz nightshayde wif softee fwoofee bwankee**
Dere naow nightshayde — U tayk uh lawng (reelee lawng) rest inna comfy chayr at da Splort Lownj, n nom awn summa deez possum-shaypted chokklitz wif sordid kreemee fillinz wyl sippin awn uh nys hawt chokklit wif wippee kreem n paowdurd koko awn tawp
(da lawngur da rest, da moar lyklee Maus will disyd 2 tayk himz debreefin kart sumware els)
you call? o wait…iz sweepee. nebbermind…
:snerk:
Fanks, Aahz. Ai wuz gettin a wurried dat ai wuz gonna has to wait fur teh leegaliteez uv teh “desplortin” vs “debreefin” fint to be werked owt.
…
Maus — fanks, but ai prefers to keep mah nikkerz on fur nao. Wuddint want to catch a draft — or get a cold ontop uv teh cold dat will nawt leev meh aloan.
Sorree 2 b heerin dat U ketchded da coald…
Dat jess proovz dat coald travvlez slowur dan hot — evvy1 kin ketch coald, but doan finksew enny1 kin ketch hot
Datz a bery gud poynt (wiffowt endz), Aahz.
*runruns tu fynd teh CCC*
WEEEOOO WEEEOOO WEEEOOO
*sweepy sweepy teh braynes*
What a mess! Tihs wuz eggsplosive!
*washee washee wif sparkly spring watters wif a fresh hint uv lemming*
*scoopity scoopity teh braynes bak intu teh braynial cabity*
*pat pat skullboanes bak in playce*
*apply CHRG n affiks wif lots uf neon-green dukky taype, bryte enuff to blynd yu to cyootness until ayes ajusting*
Nao, sit daon ryte here, ai rap yu in floofy cheezmap blankkit. Heer be hawt chokklit n yur choyse uv milk chokklit mountin gote, dark chokklit moose, or whyte chokklit polar bare. Du nawt luking at orinj cyootnesses until yu is recobered!
Fanks, prysma-kitteh! Duz ai hafta choose amung teh chokklits, oar duz ai getz to eet dem awl? Dey awl sounds so yummeh!!!!!
…
*enjoyz teh feelin uv lemming-fresh braynes*
Can has awl uv tehm!
Iz gud fur heeling braynes after splortings, after awl.
Kwik Nightshayde, watsh dis taype ov teh purrrsidential debates! ifn dere iz anyfin moor un-splortacious onna planut, ai’l eet mai hat! dis shud stabeeliz u til teh CCC shows up.
Dat definitlee protektz aginst teh kyootness-related splorts… but iz dere anudder term fur when yer braynez asplodes owt uv yer hed due to sumwun else’s stoopyness/annoyingness?
Oh, Gurrrrruuullll…I no JUST wutt u meen.
Dat are known as teh….Haughty Hypocrisy Hat.
I find dat I putts it on freqwentlee.
I find mahself gettin seereeusllee annoyed ebreeday, a millyun TIMES a day.
SInce I r a curriur, I drive all day, and in Callyfurneeya??? Dere are teh
stoopies ebbreeware. (does no wun know wut right of way meens anymoar?)
I gets soooooo mad at dem. Den I turns arown an duz stoopies mahself.
Oh, ment to doo dat.
Gots too continyooally remind myself I am a stoopy yelling at teh stoopies
wile doin a stoopy.
*sigh*
“i am a stoopy yelling at teh stoopies, while doin a stoopy”
…
perfeckt bumper stikker… kan ai has wun to go awn mai invisibull kar?
*stands on sidelines catching brains as they fall*
“singing in the braynes, just singing in the braynes”
*scoop, scoop, pat pat, duktape duktape*
*poors nice hawt chokolit martinii, raps niteshade in floofy blankie*
Wao, yoo R gud, princessmu!!!
Heer, has a chonklitt martoonie!
oh thanks!
*passes aound tray of extra choklit possums and mini creembroolays*
ohai nightshayde!
not to make it wurse… but has u seen teh pix on my profile? Hmmm??
Yoo R defnitlee bekumming an EM minyun!
I fink it may be a dun deel DK.
Maybe itz teh overxposhur to teh kyootness of teh babbehs that weakend my resistences.
Dat’s my storee and I’m stikkin to it.
*Demented chuckling is heard in the distance*
Hoo knoes wut ebil luhks in teh heart ov men/wimmin? oar meece, oar kittehs?
Da SHADOW doo!!!
(runs, feeling like a Shirley commenter)
heer EM — U can haz uh bref mint…
…
Naow U heer minted chuklin inna distintz…
*heddesk*
*holdz onto CHRG & bavving cap bery bery titelee*
OMCC!!!! Squeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!elebenty!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!
Doze pikshurz iz danjerus, leeza!!!!
*sighs*
I has to live wif this every day, 2.
Teh burd on of responsibilitee is grate.
leeza-b – I has my CHRG on bery bery titlee nd I wants to c da kitteh pic on uu’s profile. How I do dat?
iz not leeza-b but mabee iz can help.
clicky on leeza-b’s bloo name witch taykes you to hur profyle then clicky on the ‘pics’ tab … n den hang on tight to yur CHRG cuz dos babees berry
bery KYOOT!!
sorry my lolspeek is so patetik
Noes! Nawt patetik atoll!!!
my lolspeek is patetik 2. Swary.
ohai! Sorry I was distrackted by werk.
fanks for teh halp sihaya!
DEAR NOOBS:
You silly gais.
Dere rnt no bownd rules on LOLSPEAK!!!
teh byooty is it r all personal and induhvidjooul!!!
Ebbreh buddy’s is diffrunt! Dat’s wutt make it awe sum!
e.g.: I like teh way MJ not using all teh verbs…it r distinctib!
And ittehbittehkitteh gotted meh likin use to “i finkso”…
ennywai…all u noo peepuls dat say so self effasingly and charmingly,
“mah lolspeek not good”….I tells u…it r wunnurmuss!!!
Doo it cuz it feels good! talk teh way tat makes u has a warm fuzzy
!!!
U kin say fings dis wai u juss cant say normally. Try it! It r addiktib!
Juss talk frum ur ebburlubbin-kittehtum-schnorgglin-hart……
an den u……………
R DOIN IT RITE!!!
um…sincerely urs,
teh donkey
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Ai lubs you, Dawn Key.
DK
awwwwwwwwwwww
*hart duz a littlol thump*
truu, truu. wut deh dawn kee sez….She b wide btween her eerz…….. no. wait dat not sownd rite….. she b wize byond her yeerz…ya dat bedderer
LOLspeak is for teh FUN!! No reel rools… Jus spelzum lye u feelzum. . Az long as U plai nise iz the onliest rool heer!!
Hear, hear!!!
No meanies ur jurks aloud.
wide between teh eerz sowns bowt rite….*snurt*
Fanks, princessmu. Duz yew juggle? Yew did a niec job uv catchin teh fallin braynes.
Hey it’s not because I’m in a COMA that I shouldn’t exercise!!!!!!!!!!
http://mylifeiscrap.com
Please not to be exercising the COMAs.
OT:
Ai jus sawded Saruh Pale-in fyrin a assualt rifle (problee atta polee beer) an weerin a kevlar helmut! O teh howwor!
maybe at de huge manatee?! run manatee run!
as robin will’ams saided… u got da riet to arm beers in da ju es of a… mebbeh u shud do eet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N1Hz2_gdh4&feature=related
Nao DAT wuk keep ennywun frum splortin, aifinkso.
“remember whin Dick Cheney hit that won guy in teh fase..”
(source?)
*snerk*
*putz on skientifik hat* It appeers that teh polalrity uv teh kitteh is positiv, an teh polalrity uv teh keybord is neggytiv. Thus teh kitteh is attraktikaytid to teh keybord.
We needz a nuklear fizzy-cyst to halp us reverse teh polalrity uv teh keyboard an thus remoov teh kitteh, Ifinkso!
*tayks off skientifik hat*
U don’t need a noocular physicist all uz needz is a can of gooshie fud
open it and kitteh will be dere before U turn around.
Ohai gremlin! How iz uz dis afturnoon?
Ohai, 2K! I beleevs teh positiv polalrity uv teh kitteh is kawzed by teh floof faktor. Teh floof uv teh kitteh is part uv teh equation, Ifinkso!
Fizziks, we gotz it!
Ay am gud this afternoon. Did yoo and LCB an sum uthers meet at teh zoo on teh weekendz lyke yoo wuz plannin? Did yoo haz fun? Is ther a storeh abowt it sumwharz, or pikshors? *luks eager* Aym supposed to meet Moe a week frum this Munday befoar she goes bak . . .
I could not go, I had deh pleh cold and flooz dis weekendz but LCB
wented and dey had a cheezmeet. I gonna try and meet LCB for lunsh
sometime and mebbe getz tribble to come to.
I has a busy rite now.
Akshully in real life I used to be a physics kitteh, noocular physics in fact!
This ar a nu theory that I has to go chek in mah lab
brb
Sawree yu culd nawt go! I went onto the cheezfrenz site and lukt at tek weekend postings – ther wuz a linky frum LCB to pikshors. Yay! So I went an lukt. Iz so nyced to see peepul’s faycez!
Mah sistur an I goes on bus trips to teh cittehs sumtiems – NYC (but not in yeerz) and DC (abowt wunz a summer we goes to Smithsonian or Zoo). Mebbe neggst tyme I goes to DC, we can haz cheez-meet? I luvs teh pandas at teh zoo. An I luvs teh Mewseum uv Natchural Hisstory. Luvz to vissit DC, but aym a kuntree gurl an belongs up heer in teh woods . . .
mebbe U shud comez here we can has a fall cheezmeet in Dee Cee
the weather ar bootiful here rite now, does U likes the Nashnul
gallry of arts (they has delishus gelattos in dere cafe)
Yes, I luvs teh Nashnal Gallery. Speshully teh Liddle Gurl with teh Waturing Can. Iz teh epitome uv blooness.
Prolly no trips to DeeCee unless I duz teh bus trip fingy. Sposeta be doing lawng weekenz wit mah boyfrend but he haz bin sik an we needz that to git beddur befoar I goes ennywharz ennytiem soon.
Aym sposeta be on teh vakayshuns in teh coeming week. So I will nawt be on teh ICHC prolly at awl till layte neggst week.
*wayvs sadlee* Gud-bye, cheez-peeps! I will be missing yoo. See yoo in abowt a week! *big SHMOOOO* frum Gremlin
oh noes.. Gremlin we will miss u!
U shud luk at my babbeh kittehs before u go.
2 of tehm are oranj.
Dey don’t stay little forever…
Wun last chek uv ICHC befoar I goes off-line . . .
Oh, leeza-b, they is teh gorgeous! So sportable an kyoot! Yoo is a lukky gurl to haz such pritteh behbehs! Yu noes hao I feels abowt teh orinj wunz! Iz a speshul weakness uv myne! Lyke this behbeh on this payg. I seez teh orinj furz an mah hart goes ker-flop! I hoeps yoo finz them gud hoems; they awl haz teh sweetness abowt them. Bye nao. *kiss kiss* Dont wurriez, I will be bak, I kant halp mahself!
Luv, Gremlin
has U seen mah Injeh herz a big ball of orinj floof
an herz haz deh pashunz ov a Buddha
I has homes for 2 alreaddy I fink.
*schmoo*
has a gud vacashun!
I iz in Ur ICHC
tuggin at Ur heartstringz
Smilol
has a fun vacashunz!
hope bf gets bedderer soon!
Can Uz take the train to DC from where U iz?
bai bai Gremlin
*waves floofy pawzes*
U noe — dat splaynz uh lawt…
kitteh’z undersyd b pozzytiv but himz tawpsyd b neggytiv — datz Y kitteh flipz obber win himz fawlin upsyd daown, jess liek uh magnit… 2 neggytivz rappelz eech uvver…
I think the pololarity of the keyboard must have something to do with the sense of humor of the user. Some users have none, so there’s not much lolarity in their keyboards, either.
Windoz haz detektd suhspishus sawfteewayrz awn uor compyootr. Wuld u liek tu remoov? Y/N
Ai can remooving windoze n keeping floofyware?
aie fawt windnoes was teh suspishus sawftwayr…..
NO! Leave my lolware alone! ^.^
I can haz lolware? Pleez??
Awww…is so kyoot!
*SPLORT*
oh noes…teh CCC not bee teh wehre it sposed t’bee
well, ai is mewsishun…ai will em pro vaiz
*scups up braynes wif mewsik buk*
*pores braynes in KKC’s hed*
*puts on CHRG w/doi (ob dansin mewsikal notes, ob corse!)*
*wraps KKC’s hed wif gaffers tape (way bebber tahn duck tape)*
QUACK! (sorree mrs duck!)
*pla-ees softee mewsik for KKC*
R U awl bebber nao?
*pokes tuxedo cat heat from under blannkie* Tank u, tkk!
Awlwais bak up yur sawftware!
ohai! seemz like i haznt seen you furr awhile!
ohai, sweetpea!
obviously, ai am nawt so grate at keeping up with awl of this. Ai have hads bizzy, and elebenty projeks at wurk tu du nawt sekkund.
and bee shure to remooove devize saefly.
mark teh pointy endz!
Wel, liddel maurmelaiyde kitteh, yuur teh kyuootist memree stik Ai ebber sawed;
Weez wil reemoaves yuu veree cairefullee tho, soe yuu woan waikeup rite awaiy;
Jes staiy sleapyng; yuu can has yuur guushyfuud lature…….
*eerz perk up* Did yoo say GUSHIfudz!? *kitteh wayks up wif a kwikniss* BRB!!!!!
This softwayr coemings wit a manual? Wow! Lemme see, page elebenty-seben:
1. Be VEWY VEWY KWIET – kitteh is sleeping.
2. With left hand, lift bak legs uv kitteh alawng with floofy tayl.
3. With right hand, lift FRONT legs uv kitteh.
4. Be kayrful uv poyntee ends!
5. Kayrfully rotate kitteh away frum keybord.
6 Resist urge to snorgle! No snorgling! We meenz it!
7. Jently playc kitteh on sawft objekt, such as floofy blankee.
8. Did yoo reed rool nomber 6? We meenz it!
9. Go bowt yor bizniss.
Kthxbye!1
Ah haz turbble wif #6 an #8.
Jes WUN snorgle? A lilluh wun?
Ooops, splort.
Oh Halps. A splorts!
*openz unsplorty manual to page lebenty
1. Sweepity sweepity braynez into liddle pile. X
2. rinsity braynez in sparklee waddurs (i no habs any I can lemmingy icey tea)
3. scoops dem bak into brayne cabity x
4. tapety tapety hed togedder x
5. put on CHRG(wp) wif prop..er spinny fings x
6. Wraps in floofy blankit. x
7. offrz chawklit zeebras with sprinkles and lemmingy tea.
Oh, fanks berry muches.
Feels bedder nao.
Jes can’t nawt look at da pitcher.
Da zeebas iz gud tho.
Fanks agin.
Verry verry handy pro seed yur, gremlin! Yu must bee a teknikal righter!
Y din’t they have this on sale when I went to de compooter stoar?
Photographic proof, ladies and gents, that kittehs has no bones.
sudo apt-get purge lolware
Ai can’t find teh “Any” Key!!!!!!
Do I has a malware?
“Very Yes”
ruh roh.
FLAGRANT SYSTEM ERROR
Computer over.
Virus = Very Yes.
Did you get a virus?
No…
Did you get 400,000 viruses?
Yes…. ……very yes?
I still hold that malware creation is free speech.. Survival of the Fittest and all that.
Awwww- it cute… but it looks drugged! Actually… my cats get like that too.
Can has extra cheezburger to gives this wun six voats?
floppy disk-KAT!!
It’s the dreaded kitty.ferret worm!
that is funny