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lolware removal tool v1.0



cat

lolware removal tool v1.0 (manual version)

maek sur 2 remove da kitteh saflee.

picture: Kira Miyuki. lol caption: eyedoc

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» 203 Comments

Hey, what's with all the misspelled words?

» Learn Lolspeak — teh furst language born of teh intertubes.

 
  1. nawt so grate, akshully

  2. sweetpea says:

    dis be da bestest softwear ebbah!

  3. leeza-b says:

    don’t forgets to reattach dongle.

  4. Jenny says:

    LOLZORZ

  5. Maek shur tu run daylee.

  6. bluesfan473 says:

    Hay, ur hands r cold!!

  7. Princessmini says:

    Please click “STOP” before removing devices

  8. jk2kitteh says:

    hit ennee kii tew contiinuu

  9. bluesfan473 says:

    whai wud u want 2 remobe such floofy lolware?

  10. nightshayde says:

    Ai can haz dat sawftware?
    *SSSPPPPPLLLLLOOOOORRRRTTTTT*
    (ai haz a weekniss fur teh orinj wunz)

    • Ohnoes! Nightshayde! We has a splort sichewashun, peeps!

      • Maus says:

        *WONNNNK! WONNNNK! WONNNNK!*
        *Maus drives up in the new Newcueler 4WD Self-Propelled Double-Wide Debriefing Buggy*
        Oopsie. Wrong cart. Sorry. Unless you WANT a debriefing…

        • princessmu says:

          tew lak brains an breifs wood make her a very popular gurl…

        • bluesfan473 says:

          decisionz bout debreefing maid wen braynez hav been splorted r nawt leegalee bynding aidonutfink. unles u gits it in writin.
          *hands maus payper & pen*

        • leeza-b says:

          Hm. U has an interesting there, maus.
          Wot wud happen if u combined teh debreefing wif teh desplorting?
          Perhaps teh breefs cud be re-deploid on teh hed to halp prevent teh re-splorts?

        • Aahz says:

          Mebber aftur da splort rekubbree…
          WEEEOOOEEEOOOEEEOOOEEEOOO!!!
          Up kums CCC drybur n skreethiz 2 hawlt neer nightshayde
          **sweepee sweepee sweepee braynz inna pyl**
          **skoopee skoopee skoopee braynz bak inna hed**
          **patteepatpat 2 smoov em awl owt agin**
          **dukkeetayp 2 hoald hed 2gevvur**
          **fitz bavvin kap obber nightshayde’z hed**
          **snapz CHRG wif pitcherz uv liddul pooters obber cap**
          **rapz nightshayde wif softee fwoofee bwankee**
          Dere naow nightshayde — U tayk uh lawng (reelee lawng) rest inna comfy chayr at da Splort Lownj, n nom awn summa deez possum-shaypted chokklitz wif sordid kreemee fillinz wyl sippin awn uh nys hawt chokklit wif wippee kreem n paowdurd koko awn tawp
          (da lawngur da rest, da moar lyklee Maus will disyd 2 tayk himz debreefin kart sumware els)

      • *runruns tu fynd teh CCC*
        WEEEOOO WEEEOOO WEEEOOO
        *sweepy sweepy teh braynes*
        What a mess! Tihs wuz eggsplosive!
        *washee washee wif sparkly spring watters wif a fresh hint uv lemming*
        *scoopity scoopity teh braynes bak intu teh braynial cabity*
        *pat pat skullboanes bak in playce*
        *apply CHRG n affiks wif lots uf neon-green dukky taype, bryte enuff to blynd yu to cyootness until ayes ajusting*
        Nao, sit daon ryte here, ai rap yu in floofy cheezmap blankkit. Heer be hawt chokklit n yur choyse uv milk chokklit mountin gote, dark chokklit moose, or whyte chokklit polar bare. Du nawt luking at orinj cyootnesses until yu is recobered!

      • AfriCat says:

        Kwik Nightshayde, watsh dis taype ov teh purrrsidential debates! ifn dere iz anyfin moor un-splortacious onna planut, ai’l eet mai hat! dis shud stabeeliz u til teh CCC shows up.

        • nightshayde says:

          Dat definitlee protektz aginst teh kyootness-related splorts… but iz dere anudder term fur when yer braynez asplodes owt uv yer hed due to sumwun else’s stoopyness/annoyingness?

          • kafleen says:

            Oh, Gurrrrruuullll…I no JUST wutt u meen.

            Dat are known as teh….Haughty Hypocrisy Hat.

            I find dat I putts it on freqwentlee.

            I find mahself gettin seereeusllee annoyed ebreeday, a millyun TIMES a day.
            SInce I r a curriur, I drive all day, and in Callyfurneeya??? Dere are teh
            stoopies ebbreeware. (does no wun know wut right of way meens anymoar?)

            I gets soooooo mad at dem. Den I turns arown an duz stoopies mahself.

            Oh, ment to doo dat.

            :lol:

            Gots too continyooally remind myself I am a stoopy yelling at teh stoopies
            wile doin a stoopy.

            *sigh*
            :oops:

            • kitsunerina says:

              “i am a stoopy yelling at teh stoopies, while doin a stoopy”

              perfeckt bumper stikker… kan ai has wun to go awn mai invisibull kar?

    • princessmu says:

      *stands on sidelines catching brains as they fall*

      “singing in the braynes, just singing in the braynes”

      *scoop, scoop, pat pat, duktape duktape*

      *poors nice hawt chokolit martinii, raps niteshade in floofy blankie*

  11. Julien says:

    Hey it’s not because I’m in a COMA that I shouldn’t exercise!!!!!!!!!!

    http://mylifeiscrap.com

  12. AfriCat says:

    OT: :shock: Ai jus sawded Saruh Pale-in fyrin a assualt rifle (problee atta polee beer) an weerin a kevlar helmut! O teh howwor!

  13. gremlin says:

    *putz on skientifik hat* It appeers that teh polalrity uv teh kitteh is positiv, an teh polalrity uv teh keybord is neggytiv. Thus teh kitteh is attraktikaytid to teh keybord.

    We needz a nuklear fizzy-cyst to halp us reverse teh polalrity uv teh keyboard an thus remoov teh kitteh, Ifinkso!

    *tayks off skientifik hat*

    • two_kittehs says:

      U don’t need a noocular physicist all uz needz is a can of gooshie fud
      open it and kitteh will be dere before U turn around.

      Ohai gremlin! How iz uz dis afturnoon?

      • gremlin says:

        Ohai, 2K! I beleevs teh positiv polalrity uv teh kitteh is kawzed by teh floof faktor. Teh floof uv teh kitteh is part uv teh equation, Ifinkso!

        Fizziks, we gotz it!

        Ay am gud this afternoon. Did yoo and LCB an sum uthers meet at teh zoo on teh weekendz lyke yoo wuz plannin? Did yoo haz fun? Is ther a storeh abowt it sumwharz, or pikshors? *luks eager* Aym supposed to meet Moe a week frum this Munday befoar she goes bak . . .

        • two_kittehs says:

          I could not go, I had deh pleh cold and flooz dis weekendz but LCB
          wented and dey had a cheezmeet. I gonna try and meet LCB for lunsh
          sometime and mebbe getz tribble to come to.
          I has a busy rite now.

          Akshully in real life I used to be a physics kitteh, noocular physics in fact!
          This ar a nu theory that I has to go chek in mah lab

          brb

          • gremlin says:

            Sawree yu culd nawt go! I went onto the cheezfrenz site and lukt at tek weekend postings – ther wuz a linky frum LCB to pikshors. Yay! So I went an lukt. Iz so nyced to see peepul’s faycez!

            Mah sistur an I goes on bus trips to teh cittehs sumtiems – NYC (but not in yeerz) and DC (abowt wunz a summer we goes to Smithsonian or Zoo). Mebbe neggst tyme I goes to DC, we can haz cheez-meet? I luvs teh pandas at teh zoo. An I luvs teh Mewseum uv Natchural Hisstory. Luvz to vissit DC, but aym a kuntree gurl an belongs up heer in teh woods . . .

            • two_kittehs says:

              mebbe U shud comez here we can has a fall cheezmeet in Dee Cee
              the weather ar bootiful here rite now, does U likes the Nashnul
              gallry of arts (they has delishus gelattos in dere cafe)

              • gremlin says:

                Yes, I luvs teh Nashnal Gallery. Speshully teh Liddle Gurl with teh Waturing Can. Iz teh epitome uv blooness.

                Prolly no trips to DeeCee unless I duz teh bus trip fingy. Sposeta be doing lawng weekenz wit mah boyfrend but he haz bin sik an we needz that to git beddur befoar I goes ennywharz ennytiem soon.

                Aym sposeta be on teh vakayshuns in teh coeming week. So I will nawt be on teh ICHC prolly at awl till layte neggst week.

                *wayvs sadlee* Gud-bye, cheez-peeps! I will be missing yoo. See yoo in abowt a week! *big SHMOOOO* frum Gremlin

    • Aahz says:

      U noe — dat splaynz uh lawt…
      kitteh’z undersyd b pozzytiv but himz tawpsyd b neggytiv — datz Y kitteh flipz obber win himz fawlin upsyd daown, jess liek uh magnit… 2 neggytivz rappelz eech uvver…

    • CottlestonPie says:

      I think the pololarity of the keyboard must have something to do with the sense of humor of the user. Some users have none, so there’s not much lolarity in their keyboards, either.

  14. Patrick says:

    Windoz haz detektd suhspishus sawfteewayrz awn uor compyootr. Wuld u liek tu remoov? Y/N

  15. Kari says:

    I can haz lolware? Pleez??

  16. Kitteh_Kat_Celia says:

    Awww…is so kyoot!

    *SPLORT*

    • two_kitteh_limit says:

      oh noes…teh CCC not bee teh wehre it sposed t’bee

      well, ai is mewsishun…ai will em pro vaiz

      *scups up braynes wif mewsik buk*
      *pores braynes in KKC’s hed*
      *puts on CHRG w/doi (ob dansin mewsikal notes, ob corse!)*
      *wraps KKC’s hed wif gaffers tape (way bebber tahn duck tape)*
      QUACK! (sorree mrs duck!)
      *pla-ees softee mewsik for KKC*

      R U awl bebber nao?

  17. LyP says:

    Awlwais bak up yur sawftware!

  18. Wel, liddel maurmelaiyde kitteh, yuur teh kyuootist memree stik Ai ebber sawed;
    Weez wil reemoaves yuu veree cairefullee tho, soe yuu woan waikeup rite awaiy;
    Jes staiy sleapyng; yuu can has yuur guushyfuud lature……. :smile:

  19. gremlin says:

    This softwayr coemings wit a manual? Wow! Lemme see, page elebenty-seben:

    1. Be VEWY VEWY KWIET – kitteh is sleeping.
    2. With left hand, lift bak legs uv kitteh alawng with floofy tayl.
    3. With right hand, lift FRONT legs uv kitteh.
    4. Be kayrful uv poyntee ends!
    5. Kayrfully rotate kitteh away frum keybord.
    6 Resist urge to snorgle! No snorgling! We meenz it!
    7. Jently playc kitteh on sawft objekt, such as floofy blankee.
    8. Did yoo reed rool nomber 6? We meenz it!
    9. Go bowt yor bizniss.
    Kthxbye!1

    • Rattipuss says:

      Ah haz turbble wif #6 an #8.

      Jes WUN snorgle? A lilluh wun?

      Ooops, splort.

      • West_River_rat says:

        Oh Halps. A splorts!

        *openz unsplorty manual to page lebenty

        1. Sweepity sweepity braynez into liddle pile. X
        2. rinsity braynez in sparklee waddurs (i no habs any I can lemmingy icey tea)
        3. scoops dem bak into brayne cabity x
        4. tapety tapety hed togedder x
        5. put on CHRG(wp) wif prop..er spinny fings x
        6. Wraps in floofy blankit. x
        7. offrz chawklit zeebras with sprinkles and lemmingy tea.

        • Rattipuss says:

          Oh, fanks berry muches.

          Feels bedder nao.

          Jes can’t nawt look at da pitcher.

          Da zeebas iz gud tho.

          Fanks agin.

    • LyP says:

      Verry verry handy pro seed yur, gremlin! Yu must bee a teknikal righter!

  20. D.R. says:

    Y din’t they have this on sale when I went to de compooter stoar?

  21. CottlestonPie says:

    Photographic proof, ladies and gents, that kittehs has no bones.

  22. ethana2 says:

    sudo apt-get purge lolware

  23. Plasticat says:

    Ai can’t find teh “Any” Key!!!!!!

  24. catalogical humor says:

    Do I has a malware?
    “Very Yes”

  25. PsychoticPenguin says:

    Awwww- it cute… but it looks drugged! Actually… my cats get like that too. :D

  26. Chaikhe says:

    Can has extra cheezburger to gives this wun six voats?

  27. infamousqbert says:

    floppy disk-KAT!!

  28. รผberRegenbogen says:

    It’s the dreaded kitty.ferret worm!

  29. nanie says:

    that is funny



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